Chapter Text
“Finally here.” Snape led Dazai out of the bus. A familiar cottage stood out to Dazai among the forest they were in.
He hummed at the thought of all of the dust, all of the random mugs, all of the text books… a place that felt much more homey than his room at the Port Mafia headquarters did.
“Let’s go.” Snape called out. He grabbed some of Dazai’s belongings and headed to the cottage. Dazai had to almost run in order to keep up with his pace.
It was the summer between school years and Dazai was able to escape from the port mafia, with the help of his professors. Snape had been the one to take him in before anyone else got the chance to offer. The memory caused Dazai to chuckle quietly to himself.
When they finally walked up to the cottage, it almost looked the same as before. ALMOST… Dazai noticed an addition was built onto it. He looked at Snape confused.
“I had someone build an extra room seeing as you’ll be staying here during the summers for quite a while.”
Dazai’s chest felt warm. No one had ever gone through this much trouble for his sake before. He would’ve been perfectly fine sleeping on the couch.
Before Dazai could respond, Snape had unlocked the door and walked in. Dazai followed shortly after.
Most of everything looked the same, except there was a bigger couch in place of where the smaller one used to be. This couch looked like it could seat 3 people comfortably.
“Would you like to see your room?”
Dazai nodded in response. He didn’t know what to make of this situation, but he couldn’t say he hated it. Especially since he would be away from Mori’s clutches.
When Dazai walked in, there was a full sized bed in the middle of the far right wall. Next to it was a bedside table with a drawer and a lamp on top of it. Across from it, on his left, was a closet and next to that was a desk. On the same wall the door was on, there was a large, empty bookcase. Bright, cheery windows lined the wall directly across from him.
“What do you think?” Snape asked.
“It’s nice, thank you.” Was all he could manage to respond with. He couldn’t bring himself to make a sarcastic remark or to joke around, not after the professor went through all of this trouble for his sake.
Snape nodded in satisfaction and set Dazai’s suitcase on his bed. “Go ahead and unpack. After that, we will go grocery shopping.”
“Yes sir.”
As Dazai unpacked his bags, he let his mind wander. He processed all of the events that took place, everything that led him here. The fact that he was finally free from Yokohama and got to start a new life living in peace.
‘This kind of life will definitely take some time to get used to.’ He thought to himself. He didn’t know how to process everything so he just kept to himself more than usual.
“I’m done.” Dazai said as he walked into the kitchen. Professor Snape was fussing over a shopping list and the fact that they needed more stuff than he thought they did.
“I’m pretty much done as well.” Snape sighed as he closed the refrigerator.
-
They both took to the town to get groceries.
Even though Dazai had a public press conference where he explained (sort of?) the Quirrel situation, he still has hard core Daily Prophet fans who refuse to believe him. The magical community is currently divided on the subject. The Daily Prophet had been no help, keeping silent on the new information.
When they walked into the store, they got many stares. Some people stared with fear. Some stared out of pity. Some stared with confusion on how they should feel.
Dazai felt himself slightly folding in on himself at all of the looks he was getting. He shifted his body closer to Snape’s side.
“Any requests?” Snape broke him out of his thoughts. He realized that Dazai was feeling uncomfortable.
“Oh, canned crab please.”
Snape made a face at that but he sighed and wrote it on the list anyways. He knew Dazai’s favorite food was crab, but he personally couldn’t stand it canned.
They finished up their grocery shopping and headed back to Snape’s house- no wait, they headed home! That home was now Dazai’s too, something he’d have to get used to eventually.
-
Later that night, Dazai jolted awake with sweat pouring down his face. He huffed and puffed like he just got done running. The initial panic died down a bit when Dazai realized where he was.
‘A nightmare…’ he thought to himself. ‘No, it would be more accurate to call it a memory.’
Father was dead, that was a fact. However, Dazai hadn’t been able to let his guard down, even after all of this time. He should be jumping for joy! He should be celebrating, but he felt like the moment he did, his father would appear one day and catch him off guard. And then the pain would set in during one of his beatings.
He quietly fiddled around in his drawer for his knife, before running it across his wrists and thighs. He couldn’t bear to wake up Professor Snape, after all. His room was directly across from his.
-
“Breakfast is ready.” Snape snapped Dazai out of his thoughts when he put his plate in front of him. “Eat up.”
“Thanks.” Dazai closed the book he was reading and set it to his side before starting to eat his breakfast.
“So, how was your first night here? Was it comfortable enough for you?”
“Yeah, it was.” Dazai supposed it was definitely more comfortable than the dog kennels. Definitely more comfortable than the stiff bed and uncomfortable clothes he wore back in his room in Yokohama.
Here he had light and soft pajamas on and a soft bed. Mori always insisted on a rock hard mattress because as a doctor, he believed that it was better for a person’s back. It definitely didn’t make it comfortable in the slightest, though. The bed here was nice and soft- fitting for a person like Snape who doesn’t know the first thing about chiropractic care.
“Good.” Snape muttered as he sipped his tea.
-
Dazai was standing on the tops of his toes trying to reach a book from one of the higher shelves in the main room of the house. Snape watched him from the couch, amused.
Dazai managed to snag it with his finger but it fell on his wrist before hitting the floor.
Snape watched Dazai’s face slightly tense with pain when the book collided with his arm. ‘Surely it didn’t hit him that hard.’ He thought to himself, before it dawned on him. His eyes got wide.
“Dazai!” He shot up to his feet as Dazai bent down to pick up the book.
“Yes?”
Snape walked over to Dazai who flinched when he noticed Snape was just next to him.
“Your wrists, show me your wrists.”
“What?” Dazai tucked his arms in his sleeves a bit more. “Why, sir?”
“Don’t give me that. Go sit on the couch, I’ll grab the first aid kit.” He practically ran out of the room and quickly entered when he had the kit in his hands.
Dazai hesitated before obeying and sitting on the couch. Now that Snape was his legal guardian, he could probably do whatever he wanted to him and Dazai wasn’t in the mood to get slapped or even punched right now.
Snape crouched down in front of Dazai like he had that night he inspected his eye. He carefully peeled the bandages off his arms and felt his breath catch in his throat when he noticed how fresh they were.
“When did you do this?” Snape asked, quietly and calmly. He started cleaning the wounds.
“Last night.”
“Why?”
Dazai tensed. When Snape looked him in the eye, Dazai held his breath. He ended up sighing and looking off to the side. “I had a nightmare, sir.” He quietly responded.
Snape had many questions. But instead chose to keep them to himself for the moment.
“Next time this happens.” He started. Dazai turned his attention back on his professor. “Come and get me before you hurt yourself.”
“Ok, sir.”
“And anytime you’re ready to open up about that stuff, I’m here.”
Dazai nodded.
“There, it’s done. Do you have any more anywhere else?”
“No sir.” He lied.
“Alright then.” Snape stood up and walked the first aid kit back to its rightful place.
‘Let you know before I hurt myself next… huh…’ Dazai thought to himself. Usually the reason he cut was to bring himself back to reality. He did it to calm himself down. He had trouble controlling himself in those situations, and he wasn’t sure if he would be able to get Snape before it happens. ‘I’ll just have to hide it better.’ He sighed.
-
Dazai woke up, panicking. Another memory masking itself as a nightmare. He grabbed his knife, and did what he knew best.
Usually that helped him calm down, but for some reason, he was still panicking and couldn’t stop. Something wet started streaming down his face. It was familiar, he’d had blood dripping from his face many times. He put his hand on his cheek to feel the liquid. When he pulled his hand away, he noticed that the liquid was clear, not red. He was surprised. ‘Tears?’ He thought. ‘No, that’s ridiculous. I can’t remember the last time I cried, I am definitely not crying.’ His weeping didn’t go unnoticed though because there was a knock on his door.
“Mr. Dazai, can I come in?”
A “yes” escaped his lips before he could really think. He was still caught off guard by the strange liquid running down his face that definitely weren’t tears!
When Snape walked in, he saw Dazai’s forearms and exposed thighs covered in fresh bloody cuts. He took note of the bloody knife laying next to Dazai in the bed. When he saw the boy's face, he saw that he was crying.
He stepped into the room and sat on the bed next to Dazai.
“Another nightmare?” He asked. Dazai nodded, embarrassed.
They sat in silence for a moment.
“Is there anything I can do?”
“I don’t know, sir.”
“How about a hug?” Snape would normally feel grossed out at the thought of hugging someone, especially one of his students. But seeing Dazai shedding both blood and tears, seeing his hurt and his pain and his past caused Snape to wish he could take all of that pain away from the boy and free him from those shackles.
“I guess.” Dazai muttered with his voice barely above a whisper.
He leaned over and put his head on Snape’s chest and Snape wrapped his arms around him lightly.
“I’m sorry.” Dazai whispered, numb.
“For what?”
“For being a burden.” Dazai was secretly thinking to himself that he was feeling sorry for existing. He was always burdening everyone around him. All of those concerned looks, all of the people who risked their lives to pry into his personal life. Everyone who worked so hard to save him, one insignificant child who shouldn’t have mattered to anyone.
“You’re not a burden.” Snape sighed. “It’s the job of grown ups to protect the children. And besides, you have many people who care for you.”
Dazai smiled at that. How did something like him, who had nothing but horrible luck his whole life, end up getting so lucky?
This life was new, and a little scary. He had always been taught not to feel, to mask anything and everything and push it all away. He felt happy that he was finally able to be selfish for once, as he enjoyed Snape’s hug for just a little longer.
-
“Get dressed, we are heading out.”
“Huh, to where?”
“We are getting out of the house for a bit.” Snape came to the conclusion that maybe Dazai was starting to feel a little cooped up. He knew that Dazai was forced to stay in his room and in kennels for days at a time growing up. Now that Dazai’s life was finally restarting, Snape wanted him to enjoy all of the good things about life- one of those being ice cream.
When they arrived at their destination, Dazai was confused when he read the sign that said: “Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlor.” ‘Oh right, this is where I was supposed to take Draco…’ Dazai thought to himself.
He turned his attention to Snape. “Ice cream?” He asked, confused.
“Yes.” Snape said as he opened the door and walked inside. Dazai quickly followed him in.
“Ah, Severus! To what do I owe the pleasure!” The man behind the counter excitedly stated.
“Why else would I be here?” Snape made a face which caused Dazai to chuckle. The man’s eyes immediately landed on Dazai. He got a scared look on his face and stepped back. Wide eyes, shaky palms, yep this guy is definitely a Daily Prophet fan.
“Sorry, but you need to leave.” The man said to Dazai when he steeled himself, noticing a few scared customers quickly leaving.
“He’s with me.” Snape stated. He had his wallet pulled out and he started looking over the flavors.
“We have the right to refuse service to anyone, Severus. And we do not serve demons here.”
Snape’s eyes shot to the man and he let out a loud scoff. “He’s not a demon, he’s a child! A child who wants ice cream.”
Dazai didn’t particularly want ice cream, but he was interested in watching the situation play out.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t. I won’t!”
“Mr. Dazai, go sit down. I’ll be there in a minute. What flavor do you want?” The man gasped at Snape blatantly ignoring him.
“That neon red one, sir.” The same one that caught his eye that one time.
“Got it.” He shooed Dazai away and the boy quickly scampered to an empty table. People at the other tables stared at him, not knowing what to do in that situation.
Snape turned his attention back to the man when Dazai was out of hearing range. “Listen, I’ve taken the boy into my care. He’s had a rough life and the Daily Prophet spread lies about him because his guardian paid them to.”
The man looked like he didn’t believe him. He looked at the boy who was rocking back and forth in his chair, looking bored.
“How could you be sure? How do you know the boy isn’t lying to you?”
“I can’t let you in on internal investigations, but the magic government is well aware of the situation.” He leaned in and whispered.
The man thought for a moment before sighing. “You know what Severus, I’ll take your word for it, just this once.” He sighed as he grabbed an ice cream scoop. “Which flavors?”
Dazai was greeted by Snape holding two ice cream cones in his hands. He sat across from Dazai and handed him the cone with the neon red ice cream in it.
He waited for Dazai to try it. “How is it?”
“Tastes like vanilla.” He made a face at it like he expected something more. He realized in that moment that magic wasn’t buzzing around the ice cream anymore. He had nullified it instantly when it touched his mouth.
“Hmm, I forgot about that…” Snape trailed off. Dammit! He figured this would be a good distraction for Dazai! He pinched the bridge of his nose at his own foolishness.
“I didn’t say it was bad. I actually prefer vanilla.” Dazai continued to eat his ice cream. Snape’s tense expression dropped at that. He let out a tired sigh of relief.
“Next time, we will find a muggle ice cream shop.”
Dazai smiled at that. “Looking forward to it, sir.”