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Jadzia dragged Julian into the gift shop because she saw a display of treena in the window. The fudgy candy was one of Nerys’s favorites and she’d mentioned that the replicators couldn’t do it justice. Knowing that, Jadzia wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to bring authentic treena back to the station for her friend.
She and Julian were enjoying their second day in the Bajoran equatorial archipelago. Benjamin had given them both a few days off to celebrate their promotions and they’d decided to visit Bajor. The shallow reef snorkeling was as spectacular as promised, their morning parasailing had provided excellent scenic views, and Jadzia had booked herself a spa visit for later that afternoon.
After choosing a few flavors of treena she was ready to pay, but Julian had wandered off. She found him halfway across the store examining a spectacularly appalling shirt.
“What do you think?” he asked.
“I’m not sure lime green is your color.” In fact she was certain lime green was not his color, to say nothing of the orange stripes and teal triangles. If this wasn’t the ugliest shirt in the sector, she couldn’t imagine a worse contender.
“Perfect. I’ll take it.”
“Julian?”
“Garak will probably hate it, we’ll have a good rousing debate – that’s quite flirtatious by Cardassian standards, you know – and then he’ll insist I remove the offensive garment. That should end enjoyably.” He gave her a shy grin and headed to pay for his purchase. Jadzia followed with enough treena for Nerys, Benjamin, and of course herself.
“A shirt for yourself that you know he won’t like is an unusual souvenir choice for your boyfriend.”
“I have an unusual boyfriend.”
That was true. They seemed happy together and Jadzia thought Julian and Garak made a good couple. If you made the effort to talk with Garak without prejudice, she was discovering, he was charming and good company. They’d shared a few discussions about Iloja of Prim and his work while Garak fitted her Camelot costume; while Jadzia would never say that she knew the man well, she began to understand what Julian might see in him.
Flirtation through awful clothing didn’t seem like much fun to her, but she remarked, “At least the shirt is good for something.”
As they exited the shop, Julian peered into his bag and agreed, “It is hideous, isn’t it?”
“It really is.”
“So much the better for my purposes.”
Someone walked by wearing a yellow and magenta shirt with black and white polka dots which rivalled Julian’s selection for the insult it gave the eyes. Nerys said the equatorial archipelago was known for bright colors and strange fashion, but hadn’t warned that clothes would be so ugly.
Julian had barely entered Garak’s quarters when he asked, “What do you think of my new shirt?”
It took considerable effort to keep a straight face. Garak’s eyes widened slightly as though he could scarcely believe the sartorial disaster that had walked through his door.
“I hope the rest of your trip was more pleasant than this shirt,” he said after a moment.
Julian made a show of examining himself. “The equatorial archipelago has a very unique fashion sense.”
“Or lack thereof. Because I’m fond of you, I have a responsibility to inform you that the shirt is atrocious and presents you in an unflattering light.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Truly it is. Please take my professional advice and consign this garment to the replicator. The recycle credits are doubtless the only good which can come of such a shirt.”
“It’s very comfortable.”
“Not on the eyes of innocent bystanders.”
“You really think it’s that terrible?”
“I do. And since Commander Dax isn’t without taste, I can only assume she was elsewhere when you made this unfortunate purchase.”
“You haven’t said anything bad about the cut, at least.”
“The cut is… not objectionable, but nothing can redeem this shirt.”
“Nothing?”
“No.”
He sighed with a hint of resignation. “So recycling it is, then.”
“As soon as possible. In fact, I’d like to personally witness the destruction.”
“But then I won’t have a shirt to wear.”
“We’ll replicate something,” promised Garak as he began unbuttoning.
“I thought you didn’t like replicated clothes.”
“I’m willing to make an exception in this case.” Garak removed the shirt with some relish and deposited it in the replicator. It disappeared and he returned to Julian. “Of course, there’s no hurry in fully clothing you. I appreciate you like this.”
“I’ve noticed. So, did you like your souvenir?”
Garak laughed. It was, Julian realized, the first time he heard his boyfriend’s laugh and this pleased him greatly.
“You are a delight, Julian. I’m impressed, and I enjoyed it greatly.” Eyeing Julian’s chest, he added, “In fact, I’m continuing to enjoy it.”
“Should I take that to mean you wouldn’t be averse to losing some clothing yourself?”
“Not at all, though I’d prefer the loss not be permanent.”
“Good. What do you think about moving to the next phase of my education? I’m interested in trying oral sex tonight.”
This plan obviously pleased Garak, whose ridges flushed slightly blue. “Let’s dispense with more clothing, shall we?”
Julian was right – after Garak insisted on removing the awful shirt, they both had a very good time indeed. And when he moved to go back to his own quarters, Garak said very quietly, “You needn’t leave on my account.” So Julian replicated a toothbrush and spent the night with his boyfriend.
He fell asleep in Garak’s bed a very happy man.
Jadzia met Julian in the turbolift on the way to a senior staff meeting. Since it was just the two of them and she was curious, she asked, “How did Garak like his souvenir?”
Julian smiled. “He loved hating it.”