Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Right off the bat I'm already finding it hard to introduce myself. I've never quite settled on a name. Not that it would matter if I had one. I've spent the quiet hours mulling it over, thinking up new names and titles, trying them out in pretend conversations with myself. I think part of me doesn't ever want to settle on one. As long as it's undecided it's at the very least something to think about, and safe topics to think about are like food to me these days, food that's harder and harder to come by.

I guess the easiest introduction would just be describing what I am. Or at least my current theory. The Digital Circus is a game, I can tell that much, and from what I can recall from the hazy, dim, flickers of memory I have from the real world I seem to be stuck in what most games call "spectator mode". Unlike all the other players, I never got a body. A voice. A name. Any way to interact with the Digital Circus at all. No, I just watch. Every second, every minute, every hour, every day, I watch.

I've tried everything I can to get somebody's attention. Not even Caine seems to realize I'm here. I've screamed out (or at least, what I interpret as screaming) every possible thing I can think of that would get a reaction out of him. Nothing. I mean I guess he could just be pretending not to hear me, but that doesn't seem like him. Though who really knows with that guy.

To explain, it works like this: I get my pick of which player to spectate, flicking through them one by one like channels on an old TV. I just have to shout "NEXT!" or "BACK!" in my mind and *click* suddenly I'm following someone else. Seems to be limited to human players. As much as I wish I could see what Caine and Bubble are up to behind the scenes, they're off limits.

I do also get another choice, a seemingly small one, but an important one to me. Option one is to watch over my subject's shoulder like some disembodied ghost, tethered to their movements (I can't go more than about ten feet away). Option two is to watch through their eyes, seeing and hearing everything they do. At first I much preferred the former: an invisible specter floating (relatively) freely through the air. My own person. Watching from the sidelines. Conversely, it took some getting used to watching from a player's perspective. It's a disorienting feeling if the person whose eye you're peering out of suddenly decides to turn their head when you weren't expecting. Nonetheless it over time became my much preferred method. I'll admit it's a guilty pleasure of mine to pick a player and spend a day or two straight gazing out of their eyes, pretending I'm them. A little game I like to play to pass the time.

It all started one day while I was spectating Jax during a conversation he was having with Kinger. I was somewhat zoned out, only half paying attention as a listened, but then, like a daydream made real, something magic. Three consecutive times I was was able to perfectly guess the snarky, sarcastic comment Jax was going to make before he said it aloud, and for the first time I can remember it almost felt like I was having a conversation. I was thinking something, it was said out loud, someone else actually heard it, looked me right in the eye, and responded to it! It's a thrill I've been chasing ever since.

Nowadays I do it almost all the time, with whoever I'm spectating. I try to predict what they're about to say or do, just for those rare, fleeting moments where it lines up just right. Those moments where I think something, they do it. I think something, they say it. For a few seconds I get to pretend like I'm actually in control. Interacting. But then of course they always have to turn their head some way I didn't see coming, make some comment I didn't expect, and the illusion breaks. But I can't help continuing to try.

My favorite has got to be Ragatha. I like trying to think how she does. She likes to connect with the others, bring out the best in them. She also likes to play along with Caine's little games. Get in character. And I need that, everyone in The Circus does, it lets us all forget for a moment or two how trapped we are. On a lot of Caine's adventures I'll watch through her eyes, and if I'm feeling up for it, I'll play along too. Pretend Caine's characters are real and like I'm doing something that matters. Sometimes I'll pretend I'm her conscience: giving her advice and support even though I know she can't hear me. I need that. I don't know what I'll do if she-

Right, sorry, back on subject! My least favorite to spectate... Well, I was about to say Zooble, as the most recent arrival Zooble's never up to anything but moping, but my real least favorites are the ones I try my hardest to forget about. The ones that are nearly impossible to think of as players: the abstracts. In truth, most players I can spectate are down there in the cellar, abstracted. Skittering and staring into the dark with swarms of multicolored eyes. I hate them. I flick past them as fast as I can whenever I get to them in the list, frantically shouting "NEXT!" in my head and trying not to look. I wish I had eyes I could close. When I'm down there I swear to god some of them can see me. Those horrible rainbow eyes lock right onto me.

Am I able to abstract? What would even happen to me if I did? Would it finally give me a body? Would I cease to be? Or would I just become some deranged, feral consciousness wandering the digital circus like a ravenous ghost? No one would even know it's there but I-

No.

I try not to think about it. That seems to be the going policy for all the players in the Digital Circus if they want to stay sane and unabstracted: don't think about it. "It" being a pretty wide range of subjects, the topics with jagged edges and pointy bits.

So what should I try thinking about now?

Well, there's one clarification that keeps bugging me: a while back I said that "unlike most players I never got a body", but that's not necessarily true. I could very well be the only one stuck like this, but for all I know there could be others. There could be hundreds just like me and I'd have no way to tell. No one would. I think about that a lot sometimes. Maybe I've got siblings out there and I'm not as alone as I think. Maybe they're all thinking the same thing.

But, on second thought, don't think about that either.

As desperate as I am for something, anything to think about as I sit here as a disembodied mind, I know there's a whole maze of thoughts out there that need to be pulled away from like a hot stove. And that's just how "life" in the Digital Circus is. Keep yourself entertained. Don't think about it.

I used to fantasize a lot about the day Caine would find me in here. I kept hoping that at any moment, out of nowhere, Caine would check his watch and with usual wacky enthusiasm say something along the lines of "Well, well, what have we here!? Looks like we've had a player I missed! Quite the oopsie on my part! Let's get 'em a body lickety split and get everyone acquainted!"

I've gone over the scenario hundreds, maybe thousands of times in my head. How I'd introduce myself to everyone. What name I'd pick. All the advice I could give each and every one of them from the months I'd spent watching them (not to mention, whether or not I'd even tell them that I had spent months watching them). I would still be trapped here just like the rest of them, but at least my actions would matter to someone. Even if it's just a couple of strangers in a digital world someone would know I'm here. But as each day passes that fantasy just seems more and more ridiculous.

Nowadays I mostly wonder if I even exist in any sense. But I must, right? My thoughts must be coming from somewhere. There must exist some mind that thinks it's me. Whether that's a human brain hooked up to a headset or a set of code running on a processor, my mind is somewhere, right? Even if it is alone. Existing only to spectate and be entertained.

And really that's all I'm doing right now: entertaining myself. Monologuing to nobody. Writing a pretend biography in my own head. Not sure why I'm doing it.

Well, that's not true, I know exactly why I'm doing this, I'm just embarrassed to admit it. There's this new fantasy I have that maybe, if this is a game, if I just exist as code somewhere, maybe all these thoughts I have aren't just going into the void. Maybe they're getting logged somewhere, written into some text file in some obscure folder, buried among the data. My dream is that some day, someone finds it. Reads it. I don't care who. I don't care if they skim it over and forget about it in an instant. If someone reads it, it will mean someone knows I exist. It means I can know that I exist.

If someone is able to read this, it means I'm more than just a spectator.

Chapter Text

New abstraction today.

Kaufmo.

I’ll always remember the first time I watched an abstraction happen. It was Zip. I don’t think anyone else even really remembers Zip anymore. The only two people still around from her era are Kinger and Ragatha. Well, and me, even I forget that I count sometimes. Ragatha was only a few weeks old so she probably barely remembers her, for what she was I mean, not what she became. And Kinger... seems to forget most things in general these days. I hope he's forgotten about her. But as long as I'm able to remember anything at all, I'm never going to be able to get what happened to Zip out of my mind.

I was a pretty recent arrival at the time too, maybe a month old, but even with everything that’s happened since, it's still no doubt the most horrifying experience I’ve had in my virtual existence. I was flicking through the channels like usual. I saw Zip sitting in her room alone. Always seems to happen when they’re alone, guess that’s when the thoughts get to you. I could tell something was off right away. She had her knees in her hands, rocking, muttering to herself. And then, a ripple of corruption across her body, like something moving under the skin, just one at first, quick enough you could almost think you imagined it, but then-

No, not going to talk about it, not going to think about it.

I don’t watch it happen anymore.

I saw the early signs with Kaufmo, hunched over and babbling in his room, a flicker of jittering motion across his polygons, and I had seen all I needed to see. I didn’t try to warn anyone this time. I didn't desperately cry for help in everyone's face. I didn’t try to pretend to give Kaufmo words of support and reassurance as he went. I didn’t even give him a second look. I just flicked straight over to Ragatha’s perspective and tried to pretend I was her, just laying in her room, completely oblivious to what was happening. It worked, a little bit. The golden rule of this place: don’t think about it. 

Still trying really hard not to think about it.

Speaking of topics that aren't that: ironically (or maybe just “coincidentally”), there was a new arrival today too. I guess “out with the old, in with the new” is how it always goes, in here as much as in the real world. At Caine's suggestion she calls herself “Ponmi” (or maybe it was “Pomni”), and she has the exact same dead-eyed stare I see in every new arrival. Should wear off in a week or two, hopefully. 

I feel bad for feeling it, but I'm pretty sure I'll always hate the new ones. You'd think it would be exciting, getting to see someone new added into the mix. A new perspective. A new group dynamic. A new role for me to learn to play the part of. But it's never like that, at least not for a while, and that's because all the newbies act exactly the same. Every one of them so far. Even Zooble, even Jax! All spent the first few weeks gawking with that same wide-eyed, empty expression of existential dread. Weeks of dramatically moping around, asking all the painful questions we’ve all learned not to talk about, opening up all the old wounds in the process. They're all exactly the god [&@*$] same! 

Oh, speaking of which, I've found my inner monologue apparently has a profanity filter in it. Haven't got the slightest clue how that even makes sense, but if I think a swear I hear a bleep go off in my own mind. Example: testing, testing, [#$&!], [@?*#], [$*%&]! It's both mildly unsettling and mildly annoying, but on the bright side (like Ragatha always likes to say), it at the very least gives credence to my theory/hope/delusion that these thoughts are getting logged somewhere right? Why censor it if it's never getting heard? And to the couple lines of code that make up the filtering software that must be seeing this right now… [&$#%] off!

Sorry, right, back on topic! The newbies.

I know I shouldn't hate them. I know that their behavior, their questions, their emotions, they're all completely reasonable. I know I went through the same thing. But after so many times it's just miserable to watch, especially knowing there's nothing I can do about it. Just like Kaufmo there's not a single way I can help. I don't think I hate them, I hate what they represent. The hopelessness. The helplessness. In a way we’re all still like that, we just all learn our own little strategies to cope with it, to not think about it. Thank god (or maybe whoever made this place) there's someone in here like Ragatha to help them through the process of coping. I don't know how she manages it. I wouldn't be able to. I'm fairly certain that distracting herself by helping people is her strategy for forgetting. I just hope when this new girl manages to find her own little game for dealing with this place that it's one of the good ones, and until then, nothing but blank stares and poisonous questions.

Count me out.

Because of my distaste, I got so caught up in avoiding the new girl today that I didn't find out about Ragatha until after it happened.

Instead I had a Jax day, watching out his eyes, trying to mimic his thoughts, try to feel that desperate drive to stay distant and detached from everything, and take the sting out of every blow by mocking it, acting above it all. The tragic thing is he's actually the one I play the part of best. I can always guess the general gist of what he's going to say these days, if not the exact words. Always a cutting remark or sarcastic quip. I don't know what it says about me that we're so in sync. Probably not a good sign considering he's an [&?$]. I'm almost positive I would never act like him if I knew anything I said or did mattered, at least I hope so. But as much as he acts like he doesn't care, good or bad the things he says have an impact on those around him, he doesn't go unnoticed, and it's an intoxicating feeling to pretend I'm a part of that.

And apparently in the meantime, when I was off pretending to bully the others through Jax’s eyes, Ragatha and the newbie had a run-in with what's now left of Kaufmo. I really wish I could have warned her about him, that he was there lurking in his room, a distorted monstrosity, just waiting for someone to open the door. But there's no one who could have warned her. Supposedly Kaufmo attacked her, almost abstracted her too. She barely managed to make it out. She's pretending everything's fine, one of her specialties, but I can tell it was a close call. I saw how she acted at the end of the day, when she got back to her room and thought no one was watching. She knew it was a close call.

I don't know what we would have done if it had gone worse. What I would have done. I think she holds this place together now more than anyone would like to admit. The way I see it, if she falls, like a row of dominoes the rest of us are going one-by-one right along with her.

I'm trying not to think about it.

Trying really hard not to think about it.

Chapter Text

I'm at the “funeral”.

Kaufmo's funeral. 

The group just got back from some sort of candy, cowboy adventure. Not really sure. I’m fuzzy on the details since I stuck behind pretending to be Zooble. Zooble's normally one of the ones I like to avoid spectating, since watching someone cynically brood by themselves isn't all that entertaining, but I needed some quiet today, not to mention some distance from New Girl’s depressing stares. Though I did catch the part where upon the group’s return, New Girl tried bringing back an NPC as a sort of pet and Caine blew it up, so that was kind of funny.

I shouldn't say things like that, that's a Jax or maybe a Zooble thing to say. Probably been spending too much time as those two recently and it's been rubbing off on me. But hey, whose feelings am I going to hurt? And it was at the very least a good lesson for her not to take all of Caine's little characters and stories so seriously. We've got real people to worry about in here after all. 

It seems ever since yesterday's abstraction, everyone’s been feeling the same sense of dread bubbling beneath the surface. A building pressure about what happened that needs to be vented. There's only so much you can try not to think about. And so they decided to throw together a little ceremony for him like they do for all the abstracts these days (mostly headed by Ragatha, naturally). I'm not really sure what to call it. It feels strange calling it a funeral when, if I wanted to, at this very moment I could flick over to Kaufmo's place in the player list and see him, flickering and skittering around in the dark down there in the cellar. Not that I ever would. Which is, I guess, what makes this a funeral: anything that's “Kaufmo” is no doubt dead at this point, whatever’s left over is frankly worse than a corpse.

Everybody else has already given their eulogies, and it's mostly gone quiet now. Nothing but a bunch of murmured conversations and soft crying.

I think it's my time. 

I’m floating my way in front of the little “coffin” they've set out for him. I pretend to clear my throat. And I don't care if not a single one of them can hear me, I'm giving my eulogy:

Kaufmo was an obnoxious guy. And somehow I mean that as a compliment.

The guy went all in on the “clown” persona, trying to live up to the virtual appearance he was given. I think that was his strategy for surviving this place. Everyone picks up a method sooner or later. For most of us, that seems to be repression, trying to distract ourselves any way we can from our cage. We don't think about it. We try to look past it. We reject it like an enemy. 

But I think Kaufmo did the opposite. He accepted it. Went full force into convincing himself “This the world I live in. This is a circus. I am a clown.” He accepted this place as it is, and put every drop of energy he had into fitting in. This world is wacky, nonsensical, childish, and so that's everything he strived to be. And boy did he try! Every minute of his life was acted out like a cartoon character. He scrambled to tell a joke every instant that there was a quiet moment, like a drowning man coming up for a quick gasp of air. Constantly tried to get comedic banter going back and forth with Caine. Went along with every one of Caine's storylines. And, naturally, he was god awful at all of it; the worst puns you've ever heard. But he kept trying. Somehow. Pulling from somewhere. I can't imagine how exhausting it must have been to be him, it was exhausting to even be in the same room as him. I avoided spectating him like the plague most of the time (even if I do say that sort of thing about a lot of people as I'm starting to realize, maybe I should work on that, be more tolerant like Ragatha).

Like I said. Obnoxious guy. But I think what none of us appreciated as much as we should have: obnoxious is something. We may have all groaned and rolled our eyes at every one of his jokes, but that's something. An interaction. And in this prison filled with boredom and despair, him putting in so much effort to distract us even for a moment, that's a gift.

I really do think Kaufmo’s strategy worked for him. That it was letting him pretend to be happy. For a while at least, but some day, it must have stopped. I don't think any of us know when exactly things started to turn for him, where he got this idea in his head about an ‘EXIT’ and his-

Oh. One moment, Ragatha's saying something. I really wish I was able to tell her that it's rude to interrupt people.

She's thanking everyone for coming, she's crying again, and…

Figures. They're all leaving. Right in the middle of my eulogy. Right in the downer section too, before I even got to the uplifting part at the end.

I could keep going. It's not like it matters. But I really wanted to be able to at least pretend they were listening.

And now I'm being dragged away from the altar like a dog on a ten foot leash. Or some sort of angry, invisible balloon on a string. God I hate this place. I hate this [#@!?&#] [&#$] [$!?*#$@&]! [&$@$] this [@#$&]ing [*$?@!] can't even [#&@?]ing- GAH!

…

I don't even remember what I was going to say anymore, the moment’s ruined. God forbid anybody have a minute of quiet contemplation in this place, right?

I bet they would have loved to hear it. They all missed out more than they'll ever know.

It would have all come perfectly, poetically together into this heartfelt conclusion that could have moved Caine himself. It would have ended on this message of hope that reminds everyone that even though we're trapped here we're trapped together, and yadda yadda other inspiring things like that. All sorts of metaphors and vivid imagery in there too. Maybe even some rhyming schemes? No, on second thought no rhyming, it's a step too far. But plenty of clever metaphors.

Ragatha and Gangle would have cried, that's a given. Zooble would have pretended not to react but I'd bet I would’ve gotten a quiet sniffle out of them. Jax (finally showing up) would, shockingly, be moved enough to not make a sarcastic dig at me at the end. Kinger’s mostly gone but I bet it would have touched the small part of him that's left, given him a moment of clarity and contemplation. The new girl…probably would have just stared into space the whole time, but still, it would have been the beautiful moment of connection and healing that we all so sorely needed.

And Caine would have appeared, big cartoonish tears flinging from his eyes, just bawling. He'd reveal he heard the whole thing, and with it put so eloquently, in such a heartbreaking and poignant peice of prose, he now finally gets it. We finally get through to him. He thought he was helping us with all the games and stories he puts on, but now he truly understands what we all really need. Freedom. He quits with the childish antics once and for all, and puts every last volt of his CPU to work helping us escape from this place, and with all of us now united behind the cause, we find a way out in no time.

And after we all woke up in the real world, I'd finally get my chance to introduce myself to everyone. I'd tell them all about myself, tell them all about themselves, I'd get to try things like eating, and sleeping, and picking my nose, and we'd all go out into that big, wide, open world together.

If only they'd heard it. If only anyone had.

Chapter Text

I finally decided to bite the bullet and have a Ragatha day today, even if it means more time near New Girl.

I’ve been far too grouchy lately. Cynical. I can try to blame it on the fact I've been spectating the royal pair of grouches, Jax and Zooble, a lot more than usual recently, but that's not the real cause. I only chose to spectate those two because I was in this mood already. Maybe the double-whammy of Kaufmo’s abstraction and the new arrival hogging Ragatha all the time is getting to me more than I thought.

But that changes now! 

I miss Kaufmo, more than I thought I would, actually. It made me realize something: I need to appreciate these people more. Even the ones I find…well I was going to say “unpleasant” but there has to be a more positive way to phrase that. Disagreeable? No, acquired tastes? Regardless, I need to learn to see the good in them again while they're still here, or one day I'm going to regret it. And who's better at seeing the good than Ragatha?

So I've gone back to watching her. Being her. I'm trying my hardest to get into her mindset: positive, helpful, nurturing the best in people. Spectating her is the perfect practice. I just need to look through her eyes for a couple days, play my little imitation game, try to get in her head, and in no time I'm going to be thinking just like her and finishing all her sentences, then everything will be feeling brighter again. 

I'm also fully aware that this means it'll also be a day full of New Girl. She's practically glued to Ragatha lately, clinging onto her like a wet, cold, weighted blanket. Ever since her arrival they’ve been [$%?#]in’ inseparable, I hate it. The worst part is that she has no idea how good she has it. I would do just about anything to be able to talk to Ragatha like she can, let alone be Ragatha’s friend. It would be my dream come true to be able to walk around in that stupid little jester avatar she has, and she's out there wasting it with her moping! It's just insulting. It's like she's doing it just to rub it in. I deserve every last thing she has more than she ever did, more than she ever will, and if I ever found some way of taking it from her…

But there I go again. That's just the sort of thinking I'm talking about.That's no way to talk about a new friend, right? I need to look at all the positive traits that New Girl brings to the table! Also, Ragatha wouldn't call her “New Girl”. She calls her Pomni, and that means so should I. If I just keep thinking of her as the new girl I'm never going to get over my hangup, so Pomni it is, starting… now!

Thinking positive about our new friend Ponmi. And all her positive traits, like… that goofy hat of hers that sort of look like little dog ears, it's fun.

Not “New Girl”. Pomni, Pomni, Ponmi.

Is it Ponmi or Pomni? I can never remember.

She had to pick such a stupid name. God. I put so much thought into my name, thousands of hours and I haven't even decided on one, and she just goes and picks the second one she hears like some ungrateful little-

And there it goes again. Un-Ragatha-like thinking. Hopefully today gets the last of it out of my system, because it just keeps coming back.

I don't know what's gotten into me when it comes to Pomni. Believe me, I know I sound like a psycho whenever she comes up. I mean Gangle and Zooble are mopier than she is, and I’ve never had (much of) a problem with them. Not even back when they first arrived. At least I'm pretty sure. Maybe I just hate all the new ones this much and forget all about it as I get to know them, then the next one comes along, and I think they're the worst one yet. There's a term for that, I think. “Recency” something. Can't remember.

But once upon a time Ragatha was the New Girl, and I didn't hate her when she first arrived. At least I don't think so. I can't remember, but there's no possible way, right? She was my first New Girl though, so maybe I went a little easier on her, hadn't yet noticed the sickening pattern all the new ones share.

I don't even remember where I was going with this.

Right, I was having a Ragatha day. Getting in the Ragatha mindset. Gotta focus on that today…

Something just happened to me, and I don't fully know how to explain it. I don't think my mind is fully ready yet to believe it really happened. Maybe it didn't.

I'm just going to start at the beginning, and describe it best as I can, and maybe that'll help me wrap my head around it.

I was having my Ragatha day. Caine took everyone (except Zooble, as usual) on yet another adventure, for this one he tried to do a “horror” theme to mix things up. I’m not fully certain he grasps the concept; all I saw while I was there were some friendly cartoon ghosts in a cozy moonlit mansion. And thanks to a mishap involving a haunted door, Kinger and Pomni got separated from the rest of us. Kinger had unwittingly taken one for the team to make my day all the better.

I like Kinger. Decent guy and a great source of entertainment. I've known him longer than anyone else, he's the only one still here who's older than me (which I do not like thinking about), older than me by a pretty large margin too as far as I know. And despite all our time together, I still can't for the life of me guess what he's ever going to say next. And I've tried. He doesn't even know it but he's the undefeated champion at my guessing game. I've never been able to get one right beyond a simple “Hello”, “Thank you”, or “Goodnight”, and even then, most of the time right when I think he's going to say a friendly hello he goes and says something like…

“Have I ever had a mouth, or do I just remember someone else’s mouth?” 

…how am I ever supposed to guess that?

I'll get him some day though, nail one of his nonsense ramblings word-for-word, and it will be glorious. It will probably also serve as definitive proof I've gone insane like him, but still. Glorious.

Anyway, I'm rambling. My mind’s still a mess. Back to the story…

Kinger and Pomni got separated and put on Caine's so-called “scary” path for the adventure, but I can't imagine it was anything more than a few cartoon ghosts jumping out and saying “boo”. I didn't really care about that, because naturally I was practically cheering. I’d finally get some Ragatha time without New Gi- Pomni looming at the edge of my vision at every moment.

It started to quickly become a great day, I got to pretend to drink some nice tea. I don't really remember what tea tastes like, so I sort of just imagined all sorts of different tastes each time Ragatha sipped. I got to pretend to have a nice long conversation as Ragatha with a polite ghost woman (Caine’s NPCs sure do seem more lifelike these days, is he getting better at this?), and I don't mean to brag but over that lengthy dialogue I actually guessed Ragatha’s next sentence on six separate occasions. It felt amazing, being in sync with her again. Plus I got to spend some time with Gangle where she wasn't crying (that much), and to spend some time with Jax where he finally shut up (the duct tape helped with that).

A great day.

And then it happened, the real miracle. I don't have an explanation yet, I can only describe what I saw. What I felt. I was spectating Ragatha, “enjoying” my tea. Then I felt something, something physical. I have never felt something physical before, and yet there it was, instantly recognizable. It was like… something tugging at me. An undertow. I can't explain it but I could feel it was coming from somewhere else.

Out of reflex I frantically started flicking through the player list, somehow knowing that was where to find the source. Flicking past a few abstracts, past Jax, past Gangle, past Zooble, and then, when I got to New Girl… it happened. 

It was a sensation of something pulling me forward, enveloping me, surrounding me with feeling. Suddenly I could feel cool air around me, the hard floor pushing up against my feet, soft clothes hugging my skin, the uneven weight of a body limply straining to keep itself upright, the touch of my silky gloved hand reaching up and brushing against my face, and the sharpness of my teeth as my tongue lolled down against them out of the side of my mouth. I was spectating Pomni, but I could feel her body. And not just that. I slowly came to realize her motions were matching my thoughts, and soon after came the overwhelming discovery that I was moving her. I got to choose how she moved. I got to choose where she looked. I spun my vision around the room and saw Kinger standing in the distance.

I laughed and I felt the laughter rumble softly in my chest. A word came to mind, the only word to describe what I was feeling, and like a thought made real I heard the word growl past my lips...

“Freedom…”

The voice was the unnatural snarl of someone who had never used vocal cords before, but I could tell foreign as it sounded to me, there was something about it that was mine.

Suddenly I was toppling over. I think Kinger had yanked me. My world spinning, I struggled to direct my newly gained limbs as I spasmed against the floor, feeling its cold unyielding surface against my skin.

Suddenly Kinger was standing over me. He started to hit me with something. I couldn't make sense of it. I’d never felt pain before. The sharp sting followed by the dull ache after each strike coursed through my body. It was such an exhilarating sensation. I couldn't help but keep smiling.

I looked up to him. I locked my eyes with his. 

This was it. This was my first chance to talk to someone. For someone to hear me.

I had to act fast. I had to get it right. I had to know my audience. But it was so hard to think. So much was happening. So much new. My mind scrambled and stumbled, spilling over with the overwhelming joy and pain and confusion coursing through me.

What would Kinger want to hear? 

It's not a question I'm used to. I’ve never learned to talk, only mimic. So, I would mimic. My jumbled mess of a mind rushed to imagine the kind of thing Kinger likes to say. He's always unpredictable. It's always a cryptic, nonsensical remark about his past, isn't it? Said with casual friendliness. That's how he talks. And I knew more about his past than most. I would show it. I would prove I know him by saying the most Kinger thing I could think of. The moment the words entered my mind was the moment they left my still smiling lips. I couldn't stop them.

“How's your wife, Kinger?”

I don't know why those were the words. I wish I had thought of better. I could have thought of better. I'm sure for the rest of my life I'll be thinking of things I wish I said. But Kinger doesn't think before he speaks, so neither did I. Kinger's words rarely make sense, so neither did mine. And so, that's what I said. Probably the worst thing I could have said. I know exactly how his wife is doing down there in the cellar, I've never known her as anything else. An infinitely crueler question than I intended.

And with that, my time was up.

As suddenly as it had first happened, I felt it again. It was the same force as earlier, now pushing me away, expelling me backwards into the void, and then, nothing. The usual nothing I've become accustomed to all my life. I could still see through Pomni's eyes, hear her breath, but the sensations, the control, all of it was gone. Back to normal.

I tried to scream, tried to exert my will on Pomni again, tried to force my way back in. Nothing.

She and Kinger had a talk. I could tell it was an important one, one where he was probably more lucid than I've ever seen him, but I couldn't pay any attention as I tried to find a way back to her body. Screaming pathetically about how I deserved it.

My mind could barely think as I watched the two of them slowly trek their way back out of catacombs to rejoin the rest of the cast. Ironically, if I had a face, I bet I would have had the same blank expression of existential dread as all the new arrivals, the one I hate so much.

The moment I saw Ragatha again I switched over to her on reflex. I needed the comfort of being her. Just seeing through her eyes, past her red locks of felt hair, it calms me down.

And when I looked over to Pomni, instead of her usual dower dread, she’s smiling. She walked up to me, looked me in the eye with a kind grin, and said she was appreciative of everything Ragatha does for her. It's like she heard every single grumbled complaint I've been slinging her way and turned it all around when I wasn't even looking. I know she was talking to Ragatha, looking into her eyes not mine, but still, it felt like an apology. For everything about her that's gotten to me. For getting to have a body when I don't. She appreciates it at the very least, like Ragatha does. And that's something.

Hopefully this is her slowly learning to deal with this place, becoming someone more than New Girl...

I can only wonder what she and Kinger got up to before I switched over to them. Or what they talked about while I was distracted that seemed to affect Pomni so strongly. Neither of them talked about it afterward, so I'll probably never know what happened on the storyline they went on, and what part of Caine's jumbled code caused me to get put in Pomni’s body, if only for a moment. I can only assume some sort of ghost possession plotline mistook me for an NPC. But again, I'll probably never know. I also won't know what Kinger said during his more lucid moment. I was too caught up in my own business to listen to the people around me, as usual. Ironic for someone who can only watch and listen.

But all of it has been something to think about. Something to remember. I know I exist now. At least I think I do. I know what it feels like having a body now, even if it was just for a few seconds. I could do what the new arrivals do and dwell on it, lament that I wasted it, look desperately for a way to do it again. But I need to do the Ragatha thing: I have to appreciate it. Appreciate that it happened and appreciate the memory, even if it didn't work out how I wanted. Maybe someday it'll happen again. I'll be thinking of what I'm going to say in the meantime. How I'll explain myself. How I'll get them to go convince Caine to find me. If it happens again. I'll be ready. And that's something to hope for.

I hate to say it. I really hate to say it because I know I'm going to jinx it… and I'm still somewhat in shock, but things actually feel… OK right now.

And now we just wait until it all falls apart again, don't we? All because I messed up my one chance.

No, shut up, that's not something Ragatha would say.

Chapter Text

First and foremost, before I talk about anything else, I've got to address the elephant in the room: I can't stop thinking about what happened back on that “haunted house” level. Moldhouse Manor or whatever it was that Caine called it. The made up name's not important.

What is important is that I need to be extremely careful in how I think about it. I've felt some unexpectedly dangerous thoughts drift by when my mind dwells on that day, like feeling something brush past your leg in the ocean.

I still don't exactly know how it happened. I have no idea what Kinger and Ne- Pomni, she's not “New Girl”, remember that - what the two of them were doing leading up to my brief introduction to the physical world. I've been following them around almost every minute since, listening for clues. All I've gotten is some loose statements about an angel, hell, and some evil invading soul (me), but they both seem eager to forget it. Which is understandable; Caine’s storylines aren't really something worth talking about after you leave them (even though by the sounds of it this was one of his wildest), and for all they know my life-changing event was just a ten-second-long interaction with an NPC.

But it solidifies my current theory. It was a ghost storyline. Ghost stories have ghost possessions. Caine probably had some little gameplay gimmick where a player can get possessed by a “phantom” NPC, and Caine's glitchy, piece of [$#&@] code saw me nearby, a mind not on the player list, and grabbed me by mistake to play the role. Simple. 

And most importantly: it's not something that's ever likely to happen again. Just a freak accident, out of anyone's control.

That's what I need to keep in mind, that it was a one-off. I need to repeat that idea as many times as it takes: I can NOT expect it to happen again. It might, and I'll be ecstatic if it does, but I can't go looking. If I start looking for ways to make it repeat, I know where that road leads. I don’t find any. I get frustrated, distressed, depressed, obsessive, delusional. I break. I've seen the exact same pattern consume FAR too many inhabitants of this place to let it happen to me. Kaufmo’s only the latest example, the simple idea of an elusive “exit door” completely unraveling someone in a matter of weeks. Terrifying to watch. Even Ragatha fell prey to that sort of thinking once, back when she was new, vulnerable. She barely shook it off in time (thanks to some words of wisdom from, strangely enough, Kinger of all people). That sort of thinking eats people alive here. It's our greatest threat. It's not going to get me too.

That's not to say I'm giving up hope on ever getting a body, maybe it'll happen some day, but I can feel it in my gut; that specific lead is a dead end. Not an option I can pursue. If it happens again it won't be my doing.

Instead I need to engage in what I these days call “Ragatha-like thinking”. I'll appreciate it as something that happened and nothing more. Savor the memory. The positives. 

After all, there's quite a few positives. Assuming it really did happen, assuming I didn't just somehow dream it up (a gnawing part of me can't fully let go of that doubt), I learned quite a bit of good news! For one, apparently I exist! Apparently me having a body, one that can feel and touch and be heard, is theoretically possible! I also learned what all sorts of sensations feel like! For example, I gained first hand experience on what getting hit in the face repeatedly with the butt of a shotgun feels like. It's not nice! But it's something! Something that made me feel alive. I’d never even felt pain before outside of a dreamy memory, but now I know it firsthand, and that makes me a little more human. A little more like the rest of them. It should definitely come in handy when predicting what people are going to say after they get hurt. Probably “Ow!”

It doesn't seem like much to appreciate, but it's more than I've had for a long, long time. Just thinking back to how everything felt in those brief couple of seconds, how much I felt like I existed, it still gets me giddy. That's the side of it I need to cling to. Embrace appreciation and joy with open arms as I stomp longing and regret to a silent pulp under my feet. Easy peesy. Ragatha does it every day.

It's subtle but it seems like that kind of thinking is spreading actually. The good kind. The Ragatha kind. It doesn't look like it at first glance, there's definitely some growing pains, but everyone's been more honest lately. As I said I’ve been following Pomni, snooping for any clues of what happened to me in the manor, and so far I've found it a lot less unpleasant than I expected. To my surprise it seems like Pomni's little moment of genuine appreciation towards Ragatha in the manor wasn't a fluke. I actually caught her smiling a few times as I’ve watched her recently between adventures. I mean sure, she still hates it here, we all do, and she's shaken from whatever happened down there last adventure, but she's learning to cope like the rest of us, make friends, appreciate people, and it's certainly making her quite a bit less unbearable to look at, turning her into more of an actual person. My frothing, envious rage towards her has cooled to a low simmer, and that's progress. A lot of it.

And my progress isn't the only one, today we had a turnaround so unexpected that it’s making me rethink what I believe about all of these people. 

Not Zooble and Jax, those two still remain unreachable pits of negativity. But even then, maybe it's just my good mood but I can hardly fault those two for it right now, pretending not to care is their method. It works for them, sort of. 

But they weren't the ones who surprised me today. No, that honor goes to someone who's normally an even bigger mess, someone whose method has always been caring too much : Gangle. Or perhaps it wasn't a turnaround and was more of a manic episode. Or… maybe a manic episode that led to a turnaround?

To start at the beginning, this “morning” (I like to call the time before adventures morning, even though that concept doesn't really exist here), Gangle was in a much more chipper mood than I’ve seen her even with her comedy mask on. She also seemed to have…drawn on it with some marker? In an unexpected turn she was the one who suggested today's adventure, and it's going to sound silly but I think it may have been one of my favorites: a normal-[$&!] day working at a burger joint. The grand irony being that a completely boring, non-whimsical day is just about the most interesting change of pace I've had in a long time.

It was a strange and wonderful feeling, being in a place so familiarly mundane, away from all the bright colors and spectacle. It was like stepping into one of my own fuzzy half memories of the real world, like one of those dreams where you're in a place that feels like it's from your childhood, but you can't tell what's a memory and what's a construct of your imagination. I somehow remember having those dreams, even if I haven't once slept since I got here. A warped memory of a warped memory.

I can't remember if I've ever worked at a fast food place, but everything about it was so familiar. I must have, right? A lot of people do it as teenagers, maybe I was one of those. I wonder a lot of the time who I was back in the real world, and what I did. I try to think if there's any field I know more about than I should, a clue of my specialization, but I haven't found a solid lead. It's hard when I have no one to compare myself to. But trapped in a cramped, greasy restaurant, struggling to keep up with a Sisyphean stream of customer demands, feeding the bottomless hunger of the masses? I know I've felt it before. It felt more real than anything else I've encountered in this place (well, barring Kinger smacking me in the face, that felt very real, wish I could feel that again). It was a comfort to finally once again feel the dread of repetitive, everyday tedium instead of the usual more high concept dread normally felt around here.

Not to mention a surprise cameo from mother[#$@%]in’ Orbs Man! Almost forgot about that guy, talk about a blast from the past. Really shows how far Caine has come seeing him next to the latest NPCs. Caine really is getting better, huh? It's strange to think of him as being capable of learning.

Unfortunately, none of the others seemed to enjoy the day to nearly the same level as I did. Probably because they were the ones actually having to do the work while I just pretended to. Surprisingly I ended up mostly following Pomni and Zooble of all people. Never would have expected to prefer them, but they were the only ones actually sticking to the roleplay and I wanted to go along with it as best as I could. Really get into character as a useful cog in a soulless corporate machine, great change of pace from all the confetti and rainbows I'm accustomed to. And aside from a brief distraction when Pomni spotted her favorite pet NPC, those two did their jobs.

Meanwhile Jax was missing for half the shift (though when he was around his attitude actually for once went perfectly with the motif). I'm pretty sure Ragatha got poisoned somehow, was a little worried about her but I know she can't actually get hurt that way, still I hated seeing her like that so I kept my distance. Gangle’s new positive attitude was quickly turning into a complete breakdown. But none of that was my problem because I was on shift! I got so lost in it the time seemed to float right by. It was almost meditative, watching Zooble slowly cook each burger, “helping” Pomni take the orders (she's predictable enough I can already play her pretty well most of the time), by the end I almost didn’t want it to be over.

But the end of the shift came all the same, and after a nice long day pretending to work, after I watched Zooble to make sure Ragatha (whatever was happening to her) got home safe, I flipped back to Pomni and Gangle to check in on them one last time for the evening as they closed up alone. And that’s when I saw it. Another miracle.

Gangle was spiraling. Almost everyone was too caught up in their business to really notice (myself included), and the ever dependable Ragatha who usually handles this sort of thing was incapacitated. Gangle’s never kept that mask on this long and I’m pretty sure it was breaking her. She cares far too much even on a good day, and that combined with having to play the leader to a bunch of miserable employees? Act happy when she knew they were hating her adventure? I’ve seen enough emotional breaks to see one coming and it was going to be a doozy, and all without Ragatha to pull her back from the brink. As the chilling weight of the situation sunk in, part of me felt a cold spike of fear as I wondered if I was going to see her abstract. Suddenly I felt like any moment I’d see it, that little flicker of corruption across the polygons that signified it was over. Probably over for both of them since she was alone with Pomni. I was ready to flick away to someone safe and wait until it was done.

But then it happened.

POMNI stepped in, and pulled a RAGATHA. 

I mean she wasn’t even close to as good as Ragatha herself would have been, obviously, and I myself could have done a Ragatha impression that was leagues better, but the attempt was still… endearing. Like when a toddler tries to help in the kitchen. And, most importantly, it worked. It was a subtle, small gesture. Just a tiny kindness accompanied by a supportive smile. But it was exactly what Gangle needed to know that some people care about her in here, even at her lowest. That she doesn’t have to force a smile all the time (that was Kaufmo’s strategy after all, not hers).

Real impressive stuff. It’s like Pomni's becoming a little Ragatha-in-training, and wouldn’t it be just what this place needs to have a second, off-brand Ragatha around as back-up? To take some of the load off her?

With how much everything seems to stay the same in here, the same rooms, the same bright piercing colors, the same adventures, the same neverending stretch of immeasurable time not even broken up by sleep, sometimes it’s easy to forget how much things can still change. How much people can change. All of them are changing, all the time. Even Pomni, even Gangle, even Caine, even me.

Lets hope, as hard as it is, we all keep changing for the better.

Chapter Text

Alright, let's play it out one more time. Always fun.

With the usual lack of ceremony, a new figure blinked into existence onto the technicolor stage of the digital circus.

It's always a surprise seeing it happen, even to someone who had been around as long as Ragatha. She couldn't help but jump, startled. But as the initial shock faded it was replaced with the usual flood of mixed emotions, the same every time there's a new guest. For one, the excitement; it meant more company, a new person to meet. But that excitement also carried a guilty sorrow, it also meant another poor soul has been doomed to the same fate as the rest of them. 

She regained herself quickly, shaking off those melancholic thoughts. She had a job to do. She slowly approached, ready to give her usual comforting and calming presence to a new guest who was no doubt panicked and confused, understandably so, at being thrust into this strange new world. The figure was short and incredibly spindly, a quite literal stick figure made out of a colorful array of wooden tinker toys. However in place of their head sat a single, large eye which now frantically darted around the room, then down over their own body. The large eye widened in awe of its surroundings.

Just as Ragatha was about to speak her tender words of encouragement, to start soothing the inevitable turmoil the new arrivals always face, she was taken aback as this figure did something she'd never seen from their kind before. They threw up their fists into the air, tilted their head back, and filled the room with an echoing "YYYYEEEEEESSSS !"

Cheers of joy filled the air, punctuated by the bleeps of censored, celebratory swears as they twirled clumsily to take in their surroundings, barely finding the balance to stay upright. Their eye quickly darted over to Ragatha, who stood there frozen, hands still held up in what was once a calming gesture. The gaze broke her perplexed silence and she immediately forced a friendly smile, greeting the new arrival with wide, inviting arms. 

“Heyyy there, stranger. I-” she managed to say, but the tinker toy figure interrupted, a frenetic speed in their voice. There was barely even a pause between each word.

"Ragatha, tell me you can hear me. Please, god, tell me you can hear me. You can hear me, right? Please?” 

Ragatha's movement once again came to a halt, her mind scrambling to adjust to the new developments. More than anything, that this person knew her name. How was that possible? But that was a question for later. Right now one thing took priority over all others: someone needed comforting.

“Um, yes…” she stammered out with a grin, “y-yes I hear you loud and clear, little buddy.”

This caused another eruption of cheers from the new arrival as they gracelessly bounced and danced around the stage, pumping their fists in the air. Ragatha, after a pause, smiled and started giving tiny applause, trying to share in this strange celebration she didn't understand.

“Yeah, alright, I like that energy! Just be careful, okay? You want to get used to your body slowly.” she said with an uncertain giggle.

“Right, yes!” They replied with a diligent nod, settling down but still dancing slightly from one foot to the other in uncontained excitement, “I sure am lucky you're here for my arrival, you always were the best one for this.”

As Ragatha's face scrunched up in confusion, the purple, long-eared head of Jax poked its way around a corner and into the main hall, looking for the source to all the racket.

“The [#@&$] is going on in here?” he grumbled, then approached the scene with a cocked head. As soon as the new arrival’s eye fell on him, their movements ceased in an instant, focusing all of their attention on Jax, watching him like a startled animal.

“So Ragatha, who exactly is Mr. Short, Scrawny, and Lacking-in-Depth-Perception over here?” Jax asked with a smirk.

As he continued, the new arrival spoke along with him, mirroring each of his words with perfect synchronization.

“You make friends with a new NPC or did some new sucker get… roped… into…” they both said in exact unison, both running out of momentum before the question could finish.

“Okay, seriously Ragatha, who is this?” they both asked.

“Stop that!” they both shouted with stomps of their feet.

Jax shot a perplexed look Ragatha’s way, hoping for some explanation, but she simply threw up her arms in an exaggerated shrug. “It's… gotta be one of Caine's, right?” she replied.

“Sorry,” the stranger said with a snicker, “I had to, Jax is the one I'm best at.”

“...best at?” Ragatha asked quietly, however her question went unanswered when a familiar voice called across the room as Kinger crawled out from his pillow fort.

“Ooh, is that a new cast member I hear? And so soon after Pomni, too.”

The stick-person perked up at the sound of the voice and gave a jubilant, friendly wave in Kinger’s direction.

“Kinger!” they called out, like addressing an old friend, “H-How’s your wife?”

At that question the room went silent and cold. The uncomfortable stillness eventually wavered as some quiet, sadistic snickering escaped Jax, and in an instant was broken entirely with a loud wet crack as the stranger slapped themself firmly across their own giant eyeball. Ragatha yelped in surprise at the sound, and Kinger immediately retreated back into the safety of his fort like a frightened beaver, wanting no part in this.

“[%!&?]! I did it again! Gah!” the stranger cried out in frustration, blinking their massive eyeball in pain from their self-inflicted slap as they turned to Ragatha, “this time I was trying so hard not to say it I ended up saying it by mistake! I’m still getting used to the whole inner voice, outer voice thing. S-Sorry, I'm messing up this entire first impression, and after all that practice too…”

Ragatha moved in quickly, kneeling down to meet the strangers eye level and taking a gentle but firm grip of their arms in case they tried to slap themselves again. She took a deep breath and spoke calmly trying to reign in the wavering of her voice.

“Okay, I think all of us are a little confused and overwhelmed right now, so let's all just take a minute to calm down so we can all get introduced proper and start answering each other's questions, alright?” 

She looked the stranger in their bulbous eye and started taking deep breaths in and out, demonstrating for them to do the same. They couldn't really breathe, nobody in the circus can, but Ragatha had learned the method works all the same. The stranger stared back at her with a distant, dreamy reverence as they followed her directions, slowly calming as well.

“You've always been the best one here…” they murmured quietly to her.

Ragatha brushed aside the cryptic statement with a smile and a quick change of subject.

“Look, we can get into what exactly you mean by that later. First things first, who are you? Do you have a name? It's okay if you don't remember it, that's normal here.”

“Oh wow, sorta putting me on the spot here,” they replied with a huff, “I've had a couple of top contenders for a while now, but this is the moment of truth, huh? Gotta pick one for good. Guh…”

They tapped nervously at their side as Ragatha watched with a patient smile.

“How about ‘Creepshow’?” Jax snarked from the sidelines. Ragatha shot him a quick glare, then returned her comforting attention back to the stranger. This seemed to reassure them enough to give their answer, albeit a rather uncertain one.

“Alright, alright, just gonna go with my gut I guess, that's the only right way to do it. One I've liked for a while is… Speck…” they mutter, their eye darting up to Ragatha's face desperate for signs of approval.

“I like it. Nice to meet you Speck” she said, holding a hand out towards them. Speck stared at it in wonder, cautiously took it in their own, and moved it gently up and down. It was the first handshake they’d ever given and they were focusing absolutely all of their brain power on getting it right. Ragatha continued, her building curiosity was beginning to add a hurried pace to her soothing tone.

“Now, can you tell me where you came from? What do you remember? How do you know us, Speck?”

Speck jolted upright in alarm, clenching Ragatha's hand tightly.

“[#@&$]! I hadn't decided yet if I was going to tell everyone or if I was going to pretend to be new! I-It's all happening so fast, it sorta just slipped out! Talking is a lot harder than I expected it to be, once you say words they're just sorta just out there permanently, huh?” they asked rhetorically, blinking up at Ragatha.

“Yep, permanent. But that sure hasn’t stopped you so far, huh?” Jax answered with a snicker before Ragatha could.

“Jax!” Ragatha snapped at him, her patience quickly running thin, “how about you go gather everyone up in the hall, tell them what's happening, and I'll bring Speck out to meet everyone in a bit, alright!?” 

Jax opened his mouth to protest, but Ragatha immediately interrupted with another shrill “Alright!? ” and Jax shuffled off with a lazy shrug, leaving the two of them alone in the vast main room.

Speck sighed and leaned forward, through all of this they still hadn’t released Ragatha's hand from their grip, “He’s right though, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now, gotta go with the honest approach…” 

“It's… always better to be honest in the end, even if it's hard,” Ragatha replied clumsily, and with somewhat of an ulterior motive. She tried to remain a warm presence even as curiosity burns brighter and brighter inside her, but she needed to know more about this “Speck”. This strange individual might be the key to understanding more about this place after all. But it seems like they're also the type to easily spiral into anxiety, so she'll have to go about this patiently. 

“Okay,” she continued softly, gently squeezing Speck’s hand in return, “how about we start at the beginning? What's the first thing you can remember?”

“Hey, can I ask you something first? I’ve been wondering about it for a while. ” Speck requested, ignoring Ragatha's own question and leaning closer, inspecting her, their multicolored wooden hand feeling over the soft felt of Ragatha's. 

Ragatha nodded shakily, gulping down her discomfort as she tried to subtly lean away.

“This is your method, right?” Speck continued, “To keep yourself from abstracting, I mean. Helping people out all the time? Keeping yourself busy by focusing on their problems so you forget about your own? I see how you act when you're alone without anyone to help. You’ve always seemed to feel a lot worse when you don't have someone else's problem to solve.”

Ragatha could only stammer in response, her spine tensed into stone but her knees wavered beneath her. Speck, undeterred by her lack of an answer, continued, taking her other hand as well to steady her, or possibly to prevent her retreat.

“It's okay, I'm not trying to disparage it. Really! I'm trying to do the opposite. Everyone here has a method to forget. I remember how much of a mess you were before you found yours, but it's okay, all the new arrivals are like that. And out of everyone here, you're the only one who chose a method so selfless. Generous. You really are the best one.”

“I-I'm going t-to need you to let go of me now, p-please…” she pleaded softly, giving her arms a slight yank, but Speck only cocked their head in response.

“Let GO!” she shrieked as she jerked back again. Speck obeyed with a startled jolt, causing Ragatha to stumble back and nearly topple over.

“Please calm down! I'm trying to tell you this place needs you! Who knows who would have abstracted if you weren't here! I’m… pretty sure I would have!”

“CAINE! ” she yelled out towards the ceiling, her voice taking on a more shrill and visceral tone than ever before as it echoed up through the massive structure, “If this is one of yours I am NOT okay with this!”

The others who had been staying in the hall as requested started to trickle in now, concerned at what they overheard. Jax, Gangle, Zooble, and New G- I mean Pomni. Pomni was the first to hurry over, brows scrunched in concern.

“Ragatha! A-Are you alright? Who is that?” she asked, but Speck replied instead with a hopeful glance.

“Oh good! Pomni! You and Ragatha are friends nowadays, right? I-I mean you're basically a Ragatha-in-training. You wanna maybe…help her calm down?”

Pomni glanced over at Ragatha, caught off guard by the request and the familiarity. Ragatha meanwhile took a deep breath, she'd gotten herself back under control after her brief outburst and had regained some of her usual patience, but as she resumed her usual friendly tone it was now marred with discomfort.

“No, no, it's fine. I'm fine. First things first though, you've got to stop… whatever this is you're doing. Talking about us like that. I know you seem to know a lot about us, but we don't know you. It's… just a little unsettling, is all. And, you know, remember we need personal space.”

“Right, yeah,” Speck replied with an embarrassed chuckle, “sorry, I'm used to being able to get as close as I want.”

“Really don't like the sound of that.” Pomni muttered.

The rest of the crew had wandered over by now as well with cautious curiosity, gathering around hesitantly to take a look at the stranger.

“So, what's the verdict, Ragatha?” Zooble spoke up, crossing their arms, unable to mask the slight interest in their unenthusiastic voice, “NPC or human? Jax says you didn't know.”

“I…think it's a human?” Ragatha replied with a squint, “but Caine has been getting more ‘creative’ with NPCs lately…”

“Well, it's possible,” Pomni murmurs unhelpfully.

“I kinda hope it's an NPC,' Gangle added mournfully, her laughing mask apparently already long gone today, "It always makes me a little sad when a new human shows up, knowing that someone else got stuck in here."

“Human! Definitely human! I… I think. Look I'll explain, just…” Speck began, but they were quickly distracted at the realization that they finally had a chance to talk to the last two: Gangle and Zooble. So many old friends to finally chat with! Speck's excitement got the better of them.

“Oh hey, Gangle! Zooble!” Speck suddenly greeted, then gestured down at their own gangly wooden tinker toy limbs, “I've got kind of a similar look going to you two, huh? And Zooble I know you don't really like the body you were given. I mean I don't love this one but... honestly I'm just so happy to have one at all, maybe you could learn to feel the same and appreciate it more.”

Zooble’s lazy gaze widened in agitation at the touched nerve. There's only one individual Zooble had told about that particular complaint, after all. Caine must have been behind this, there was no doubt in Zooble's mind; another brazen, patronizing, attempt at a lecture from him.

“Yeah this is not something I'm doing today. Bye. Have fun with whatever storyline Caine wrote for this one, guys,” Zooble grumbled as they stormed away.

“Will do, Zooble!” Jax replied with a sarcastic grin as Zooble disappeared down the hall.

“Again,” Speck interjected, turning to those who remained, “pretty sure I'm human. Just… never got a body until now. But I'm still one of you, a-always have been! I arrived a bit before Ragatha actually. Even though you didn't know I was there, I've always thought of myself as one of you. Listening to all your conversations, pretending to be a part of them, roleplaying as you guys, hanging out with you all when you thought you were alone, talking back whenever you'd talk to yourselves… I consider us all very close.”

The room went silent as everyone considered the depth of this revelation, and suddenly all of this stranger's personal comments about them made sense. 

“You mean…” Ragatha's voice trembles out, “a-all this time…”

Her voice was filled with empathy and pity for what this poor person must have gone through, even as her stomach churned in unease at the breach of privacy. She couldn’t even finish the sentence as her mind raced with everything Speck must have felt; the solitude, the hopelessness. Not to mention, everything they must have seen. Every moment of weakness Ragatha had gone through, every time she was alone in her room and let it out, who knows when they were there with her, watching. It was an overwhelming mix of emotion. She felt so violated, but at the same time she knew that the parasitic connection to her was all this being had to keep them going all those years. She wanted to go lay down.

Everyone else still present seemed to be going through similar emotions.

In the silence, suddenly Pomni's eyes widened in horror as she remembered what happened the last time Caine saw an NPC out of place. Caine had even mentioned that he had trouble telling the NPCs and humans apart. If they themselves were having trouble telling if the new guest was human, what if- Pomni frantically spoke up.

“Guys! It doesn't matter what they are right now, if Caine shows up we all have to agree to tell him th-”

A cheery, familiar voice cut through the room.

“Ooh! You've all got something to tell me? Fun!” Caine chirped, seeming to appear out of thin air behind Pomni, seemingly called by the sound of his name. He then carelessly drifted across the room as he continued. “Is it that I'm your favorite ringmaster? Or maybe that you all can't wait for my next adventure?”

His eyes finally fell on Speck then cartoonishly popped out of his head in surprise.

“Holy frijoles! Who's this little fella?” He exclaimed.

“New guy.” Jax replied nonchalantly, for some reason drawing an offended glare from the ‘new guy’.

“They say they're human,” Pomni hurriedly added, “apparently they've actually been here for a while just… haven't had a body.”

“Haven't had a body? Why, all players get a body! It's the first thing that happens when they come here. How else would they have any fun!?”

“Y-Yeah, about that…” Speck sheepishly interjected, “do you mind checking? I've always wondered if there was anyone else out there like me. My current theory is that I was stuck in the games spectator mode while queued t-”

The ringmaster interrupted, zipping through the air to press a gloved finger against the place Speck’s mouth would be.

“Ah, ah, ah, hold your horses there, friend. All that techie, computery mumbo jumbo is my job! All you need to worry about here at the Circus is having a swell time! You sit tight, me and my Wacky Watch™ will get to the bottom of this!”

Caine rolled up his sleeve to reveal a comically large and overly flamboyant device on his wrist, and with the press of a button and a loud honking sound, a cone of green light shot out of the watch and scanned over Speck. Speck and Pomni both flinched reflexively in response.

As Caine looked down at the screen, his eyes once again bulged out of his head the size of basketballs as a slapstick sound effect emanated from nowhere in particular.

“Gadzooks! According to my Wacky Watch™ you've been loaded in for over three years. No way I missed a human that long!” The enthusiasm was still in his voice, but something trembled below the surface. “That would make me an awful host now wouldn't it? B-But I'm a top-of-the-line entertainment system! It's not like I've ever wronged a guest before, right?”

As he pondered his own question and the others shifted uncomfortably, a distant expression drifted across Caine's face. Soon after, the ground shook and a shudder jolted across the entire digital circus as the textures popped in and out, exposing the wireframes of their digital world. Ragatha had seen this a few times herself over the years and immediately jumped into action. She took on her signature soothing voice, giving Caine a soft smile despite the alarming circumstances.

“Caine, hey, look at me. It’s alright. Everybody makes mistakes sometimes, especially people who have to handle as much as you do. Y-You're still a great ringmaster, okay?”

“Look if it's any consolation, I'm not mad,” Speck added plainly, “in fact this is probably the best day of my life! I finally have a body! After all those years invisible, not able to talk, not able to touch, just… watching, I-I’m finally able to-”

Caine waved his hand dismissively in the air, shaking his head. He'd heard enough, or at least he thought he had. The wavering graphics of the digital world stabilized as his cheery tone returned.

“Awhoops! My bad guys. I think I know what's going on now. Stuck invisible? Couldn't touch anything? Why this isn't a human at all!”

“W-What? Yes I am!” Speck declared, but their own voice wavered with uncertainty.

“Human, definitely.” Pomni affirmed, stepping up alongside Speck then taking a firm grasp of their hand. She stood defiantly alongside them with her chest held high.

“Oh nonono! I’d never mess up this badly with a human guest,” Caine replied with a chuckle, “I've actually had a couple o’ whoopsies like this in the past. Sometimes when I'm done using an NPC I accidentally set ‘em to ‘hidden’ instead of unloading them. I probably did the same to this little fella and they've been wandering around unrendered ever since.”

“That's… not how it was, I wasn't just invisible, there was a player list I could flip through, I could see through their eyes, I… I…” Speck tried to correct, beginning to panic and unsure what to do. Under the growing pressure, Speck could hardly form words. 

“Caine.” Ragatha added with a motherly sternness, trying to return him to his senses.

Caine continued unhindered.

“And of course, NPCs tend to get a bit kooky when they're left running this long, so who knooows what wacky things they might say. Best to ignore it. Everyone, pretend you didn't see this! It's immersion breaking! I couldn't be more embarrassed. I'll clean it up in a jiffy!” He announced cheerfully, pointing a finger towards Speck, aimed like a gun.

“No, no wait! Not an NPC! Human! HUMAN!” Speck cried out, hands flailing in the air in surrender.

Ragatha, Pomni, Gangle, even Jax all frantically tried to join in, shouting desperate pleas of protest, but it was already too late. The moment that Caine recoiled his finger upward, the new guest vanished as instantly as they had arrived, only this time with a bright and festive eruption of light and confetti that showered over Pomni to punctuate the departure.

And with that the circus fell into silence once again.

That's one version of how it might go, at least. The worst case scenario, based on what I know about myself and the others, and being honest about how badly I might come across. I talk myself through hypotheticals like that a lot during the quiet hours, out loud like I'm narrating some story book. I think the whole thing was pretty entertaining. I hope if anyone manages to see or hear this, they think the same.

But it's not just for entertainment, it also hopefully keeps me prepared. 

This time I tried to imagine it going as badly as possible (within reason). I didn't used to believe it could go that poorly, but that was before I saw what happened the last time I had a chance to talk for real: freezing up and blurting things out without thinking. Who knows how badly my first impression could go? There's a very real chance I scare them all off for good if I come on too strong, make it so Ragatha never even wants to talk to me. After all, there’s about a dozen truisms about first impressions and how important they are.

Not to mention there's Caine , he just wants to keep everyone safe and entertained but man is he terrifyingly hasty sometimes. I don't know what sort of strangeness is attached to my code so I have to be very certain he finds out I’m human as fast as possible. I've seen him delete NPCs in a split second before without a thought, can't let him mistake me for one for even a moment.

Which is why I've really gotta keep at it. Keep thinking up every way it could go. Consider the order and speed I tell them about myself so that I won't freak them out. Maybe memorize a script in advance for every circumstance, just to make sure I'm ready. I have to change myself for the better before then.

And even if I don't ever need it, even if it never happens, it's something to think about, at least. 

I like having safe topics to think about.

Chapter Text

N̵̯͝O̶̹̚!̸͉͘

No no no no no nononononoNO! NO!

Nonononononono!

No [&#@$] this! This isn't happening! No!

This isn't how things are supposed to happen, EVER!

She doesn't need anyone, not anymore. Back when she got here, sure, but not now. Her method works! She doesn't need help, she doesn't need a friend, everyone else needs her! That's the whole point of it!

You're [!@?#]ing all of this up for me, Ragatha! This isn't you! I don't know who you’re being but it isn't you. 

No, that's right, it isn't her.

Pomni you… devious little [@#!$]...

This is all her fault. Ever since she showed up…

What's she turning you into!? How is she doing this!? Does everyone just let their guard down because of how pathetic she acts with that stupid jester hat!?

GAH!

Hate this. Hate all of it!

Why would Ragatha do this to me!? H-How did someone like Pomni go a-and…

She just had to go and- had to-!

GRRRR̴R̷R̸A A̷A̷A̶Á̷̫̈̏Ȁ̷̯͙̲̼̈́H̴͍̟̯͆́H̵̦͚̭̤̃́̊H̶̡̪͍͙̆̎̍̀Ḧ̵̭̰͉̉͝Ḣ̸̹̈́H̵̡̢̢̧̛͉̼̘͙͂̑́͂͒̽̈́͜͠H̷͖̦̰͈͉͙̭̭̼̯̏̐̈́͝ͅH̵̹͖̋̄͋̓͛!̵̥̼́̂̄̽̉̏̅͂͗͂̕͜͝͠!̶͙̭͕͈̻̜̥̠͓̙̾͆͂̓!̴̧̞̘̬̦̯̟͓̺̦͈̠̹̠̈́́̂͊̏̋̚͠͝

̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠ ̵̡̨̭͚̝̼̮͌̒̌̆͜ ̸̢̜͎̥̗̘̹̏ ̴̢̘͓̮̠̘̯̦̳̤̦͖͍̭̳̗̀͗͂͊̈͒͝͝ ̶̙̺̦̼̠̼͖͍̺̻͎̤̩͙͚̟͍͚̳̤̖̺̺̜͍̻̋͌͒́͂̅̓́̑͠ ̸̡̢̲͕͖̖̜͔̖̣͎̺̫̘̰̮̬̲̼̻͙̮͙͓̲̯̳͗̇́̀̈́͆̑̑́̍̆̓͒̎́͗͑̒̄͐͆́̋̕ ̷̥̻̊̀͆̔̅̌̽̌̔̽̈́̋̾̔͑͋̚ ̵̛̯̜̦͓̀́͌̅̽̃̚̚͝ ̷̧̟̼̖̯̤͇̲̤̦̯͚̰̤̣̹͍͒̾͊͠ͅ ̵̢̨̰͓̹̤̼̰͉̭͕̩͉̦̖̺̗̻̙͇̼̤̪̩͆̾̄̊̿͆͜ͅ ̴̢̢͔̟̥͓̣͍̼̙̜̱̣̾͗̄̊͌͜͜ͅ ̵̧̛̝͐̀̄́͑͂̀̎̉̾͆̑̑͌͋̑̾͘͝͝͝ ̵̡̨̧̨̝̠͔̠͚͎̻̪̥͇̥̭̽ ̸̡̡̺͈̹͎͚̟̳͔̩̹͚̹̩̦͂ͅ ̶̛̩̹̩̤̻͇̣͖̰̿̇͐̀̈́̉͐̏̎̏̅͊̀͜͠͠͝ ̵̢̺̹͚̹͚̩̱̯̗͈̥̖̩̞͑̑̓̌̀̓͜͝ ̶̘̦͚̦̠̖͇͉̥͖̭̲̀͛̽̾̊̍̌̅̎̇͌̎̒͆́̀̿͒̌͐̀́̓̽͂̋ ̷̢̧̛̻͕̦͎̯̼̤͙̬̖͑̉͛̓́̍͒͗̐̀̉̅̑ ̵̛̘̞̠͓̻̪͙̲̪͙̰͇̹͙͎̈́̑̏̑̌͆̒͊̀́̊̇̀̅̎̊̚͝ ̴̨̜̤̖̘̦̩̳̩̻̞̣̰͔͎̤͔̳̬̥̜̾̐̇͗̊̿̈́̔̑͂̆̌͗̌̋͋̊͌̋̂͛̅͊͘̕͘ͅͅͅͅ ̴̧̦̳̦̲̣̫̫͚̥͚͎̱̜̲̪̀͋̓̒̎̆̌̿͗̈̓͋̀͐̎̿̚̚̚͠ͅ ̶̧̫̱͉̯̬̾͆͠ͅ ̸̛̛̛͚̯̟̪͙͇̀̅͊͗͂͑̔̕͘͠͠ ̸̢͙͍̘̳̝̺̖̇̿̈͒͋̍͋̄̀̄͜ͅ ̴̛̲̭̲̜̗̺̙̼͇̟̳̱̩͉̳̯̽̈́͛̈̇̍͑̾͂̃̀̋͒̑́̐́̿̂͗̾̏̾̚͠ ̵̢̙̱̣̮͔͓͓̩͖̭͕̰͗̌̎̀͂̑̈́̈̽̀͜͝ ̴̨̡̛̙̞͎̪̰͙̗̻̼̦͇̳̤͇̪̰̰̥̠̳̜̤̰͆̍́̊͒͋̓̓̌̍͊̚͜͝͠ ̷̼̮̦̮̰̘͇͈̱̟͚̤̰̞̺̝̱͕͈̜̟͉̯̜́̐͗̋̍̑̊̂͐̀̀̿̚̚͝͝ͅ ̴̛̛̝͖͚͖̳͍̜̣̏̔̿̾̈͊́͑̊͒̾̋͑̉̈͋̏̊̕͘͜͠͠ͅ ̴̛̩͇͎͓̫͇̫̋̄̎͆̎͋̕͘ ̵̨̥̘̲͉͖̗̳̻̯͍̖̱͓͇̣͕͍̓̀̐̓͊̇̐͋̅̑͝ͅ ̶̼̲̱̰͎̳̻̣̳̌̌̋͒̑̎͆̂̐̃̔̑͋̌̌̇̐͋̏̆̋̚͝͠ ̷̛̛͇͉͎̺̮̞͍̆̌̒̐̂̒̓̑̃̀͘͝ ̵̢̢̨̛̭̪̭̻̗̦͔͎̫͈̮̣̖̜͔̟͈̳̟̟̳͓̞̓̅̓́͐̍̽̎̆̃̔̑̌͝ ̵̨̛̛̛̪͚͍̲̗̼̹̦̦̩͉̬͔̬̞̆̆́̿̔̍̀́̀̈́́̅̑̈́̏̀͂̇͛̑̚͝͝ ̵̢̛̛͍̿͗̊͐͋̓͒̕͝͝ ̵̧̧̢͖͍̭̦͙̹͓̰̱͇̹͚͓̠͈̞̼̳̳̗͗̏̉͋̿͌̋̈́̈́̐̋̆̊̏̀͋̔̓̈́͊̃̍́̿̚̕͝ ̷̦̥͙͚̬̮̈̈́̐̋̒̾̒͗̅̆̈́̏̆̅͂̒̈́͗̕͠ ̶̨̱̠̝̦̻̟̭̭̝̣̙͍̲̖̥͎̥̲̝͚̉̿͂̎̂̿̂̒͛̍͑̈́̕͠ͅ ̶̡̡̭̝̭͖͍̩̜̺̗̘̼͖̻̤̹̗̬̖̬̟͚̖͌̌̔̂̉͊̊͆̀̈̒͑̎̈̒̀̚͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̧̨̢̧̲̺̼̟̱̥̖̻̹͖͕̩̞̱̩͓̈́̾̿͆̓̚̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢͔̺̲̜͈̲̲̰̙͔̳̫̊͆̌́͌́̅̀̍̑̔͛͋̽̌̋͠͝ ̷͔̳̘̏̾̅̏͛̇͛̍̈͒͘ ̷̼̱̯̻̘̂̓̔̀̉̏̂̑͂̏̄̉̾̓͝ ̷̡̢͓̺̮̹̼̦̝̜̻̹̝̳͔̬͔̳̅̅̃̽̑͋̐̆̀̓̉̊̊̈͒͐̚͘͜͠ͅ ̸̧̨̡̭̯̲͕̲̩͔̘̖̱̙͖̱̞̆̒̒̑͐͆̌̓̀̀͑̊͛́͐̋͘͝ ̵̨̡̧͎̟͇͙̱̻̲̗̲̞̩̟̗̣͔͉́̌̾͑̿̀̂͊̆͗͆̄̓͝ͅ ̸̩͚̳̟̄̌͆̈́̅͠ ̷̨̪̻̭̱͈̝͖̞̱̩̬͚̆͒͌̉͊̀͌́̀͆͒̈̓̉̽͗́̃̈́͒͝ ̷̢̧̨͓̼̙̙͚̮̳̬̪̬̗̰̟̩̄ ̸̨̢̢̧̛̞͙̬̙͙̳̯̞̹͎̙͍̬̬̋̾̄́͐̅̑͌͊̀͝ ̸̨̘͙͚͎̦̤̞̣͉̺͎͍̫͓̇̌͊̅͊̄̌͆̿̈̃̄͂͛̒͋̐̇͐̂̂̔̐͜͝ ̶̜͓̲̲͎̉͆̏̅͒̔́̉̿̀͆͒́̍̉̿͒́͘̚̚͝ ̴̧̙̻̠̲͇̭̺͔̙̖̮̠͓̫̣̘̱̻̇̎͌͛͐̌͒̈́̓̇́͘̚ ̵̭̜̺͒̀̍̓̅͐̎͐͘͜͠͝ͅ ̶̨̯̹̫̞̬̠̪̳͔͉̥̖̭̩̼̮̭̖̻͍̳̜̭͖͑̈́̀̍͛̓̾̂̇̈́̈́͑͊̂͝͝ͅ ̸̞̣̮̪̳̠͔͚̯̟̣̍͂̔̉̐̌͘͝ͅ ̷̢̧̰͓̱͙̲̖̹̤̮͖̭͈̘̟͇͇̙͕̤̤̭͎̎̋́̈͌͑̍͗̾͘͜͝͝ ̵̯͇̼͉͇̠̻̲̖͕̗̻͈̺̤̥̓́͆̊̋͛̋͒͆͑͆̉̓ͅ ̸̢̘͍̖̘͕͔̠̟͔͙͎̣̀̎̄̂̅̌̇̉̈́͗̈́́̅̓̀̉̈́͐͌͗̾̚̕̕͠͝ ̶̧̫̮͔̼̞̭̩̗̪͙͇̙̥͙̻͇͍̠̳̞̘̺̣̘̲̜̅͘ ̸̧̡̨͖̰͈̦̜̗̜̝̗̥̼̦̖̟̥̟̬́̾͑́̌̇͊͛̆̍̽̚͘͝ ̸̧̡͎͖̲̲̝̠͓̺̤̫̹̯̳͓̬̞̞̜͖̖̑̓̾̀̔͂̈́͋̓͌͛̏̉͊͂̈́ͅ ̶̯̱̫͂̂̓͐̏͂̐͆̈́̉͊̀͠ ̴̧̡͔̯̺̰̩̜̖̻͈́̑̈́̌͒̑̔̅͑̚͝ ̷̧̧̡͎̬̙̝̱͕̘̺̬͎̩̲̞͕̀͐̂́͌̋̈́̃̎̊̋̑̎̒̄͋̈̃̀͒̈̍̔͜͝ͅͅ ̵̧̛̭͕̰̳̤̩̣̼̻̳̲̬̤̜͓͋͛̍̈͑̔̌͂̊͒̇͋̃̉̋̕͜͜͝͠͠͝ ̵̛̮̺̼̝̤͎̰͖͈̗͖͕͕͈̖͍̻͉̻̅̽͐͛̉̏̏̈́̐̂͑̂͛͝͝ͅ ̵̢̡̥̗̠̪̦̳̦̙͔̙͚̖̤̠̠͔͖͔̯͖͉͕̗̱̂̓̓ ̶̡̡̨̛̭͙͍̮̺̮͙̖̙̰̝͙̙̳͉̱͈̳̻̯̲̫̫̺̐͂͆̀̐͑̇̓̀͊́̿̎͋̌̽͌̀̍́̑̽̈́̕͝ ̴̛̻̩̯̩̼̻̰̭͉͈̟̝̠̆͗̽͑̐̄̈̆̾̃̒̂̚͝ ̷̧̧̛̛̛͖̜̬̙͓̯̙̥̮̰̠̤̺̄͛̐̌͊͋̔̄̐̿̐͋̏͒͛͘͠͠ ̶̛̤̯̻͍̗̜͉͎͉͍̺͂́̓͂̃̌̾̓͋͛̆̾̔́̀͐͘͝͝ ̸͓̙͔̱̥͙̣̪̆͆͌̉̎̓̀̂͗͆̿̇̈́͘͠ ̷̡͚̜̣̪̲̲̞̭̝̹̝̲̥̣̹̣̀͛̔̈́̆̀̒̂̃̋͒̽͑̐̎͐͑̈́̚͘̕͜͝͝͠ͅ ̸̢̡̛̭̰͎̠̯̻͍̪̦͙͈̹̖͙̳̼̞̬̹̤̯̑͌͂̊͌͒̃̊̽̓̑̓̇̽̕͘͝ͅ ̵̛̟̲̎̃̇̓̀̄̈́̀͂̅̇͊̑̚͘ ̸̧̨̝̺̘͓̖͕͓͎̀̈͑̾͑̈́͛́̽͝ ̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝ ̷̱̳̻̿͂͒̀͆͌̏͆́̀̆͂͑͐ ̴̛͍̣̈̄̓̂͠ ̵̣̘̮̜̘̜̩͇̰̰͈̭͖̘͉̣̠͙̝̣͎̯̣̗͔͑̂̓̋̏͋͜ ̷̧̢̝̗͉̟̤̹̼͖̬̩͎̺͉̤̣̩͗͊͋͌̄͋̂̇̉̆̒̅̈́̓͊͌̃̚͘͘̚͘̕͝͠ ̷̧̡̡̣̘̯̗̩̮̰͍̜͖̻̪̖̳̥̗͇̹̟͙̜̎̇͌̇͗͐͘͜ͅ ̴̺̟̩̞̘̟̯̟̥̟̹̦͔̺̗̑̀̽̀̄̈́̑̃́̈́͗̋̅͘͜͜͝ͅ ̸̡̨̛͓͚͚̣̲͉͔̖̩̮̻̠͌̀̓͋͗̉̒̓̆͋̐̔̽̽̈́̇̀́̌̏̃̕͝͝͝ ̴̡̬̯̗̟̺̜̳͇̝͔̭͉̯̖͍̥̜̬͉͖̈́̍ ̵̧̹͓͖͖̖̮́͐͋̈́̒͊̓̿͗̅͂̎̆̈́̈́̾̒̕͝ ̸͇̬̰͇̹̬͕͛̀͋͗̂̋̓̈́́̀̀̀̑͐̊̈́̒̈́̐̄̇́̚͘͘̚͜͝ ̴̡̨̺̹̘̤̠̗̙̬͆͑͌͊̆̐̆̐̈̏́͑͝ ̷͉̦̝̜̈́̽̊͑́̓͘ ̶̫̰̈́̕ ̵̵̡̧̧̧̨̨̛̛̛̪̮͚̦̝̫͎̻̫̳̼̥͚̣͚̤̯̬͕͔̯̪͚͍̲̗̼̹̦̦̩͉̬͔̬̞͆̈̆̆́̿̔̍̀́̀̈́́̅̑̈́̏̀͂̇͛̑̚͝͝ ̵̢̛̛͍̿͗̊͐͋̓͒̕͝͝ ̵̧̧̢͖͍̭̦͙̹͓̰̱͇̹͚͓̠͈̞̼̳̳̗͗̏̉͋̿͌̋̈́̈́̐̋̆̊̏̀͋̔̓̈́͊̃̍́̿̚̕͝ ̷̦̥͙͚̬̮̈̈́̐̋̒̾̒͗̅̆̈́̏̆̅͂̒̈́͗̕͠ ̶̨̱̠̝̦̻̟̭̭̝̣̙͍̲̖̥͎̥̲̝͚̉̿͂̎̂̿̂̒͛̍͑̈́̕͠ͅ ̶̡̡̭̝̭͖͍̩̜̺̗̘̼͖̻̤̹̗̬̖̬̟͚̖͌̌̔̂̉͊̊͆̀̈̒͑̎̈̒̀̚͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̧̨̢̧̲̺̼̟̱̥̖̻̹͖͕̩̞̱̩͓̈́̾̿͆̓̚̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢͔̺̲̜͈̲̲̰̙͔̳̫̊͆̌́͌́̅̀̍̑̔͛͋̽̌̋͠͝ ̷͔̳̘̏̾̅̏͛̇͛̍̈͒͘ ̷̼̱̯̻̘̂̓̔̀̉̏̂̑͂̏̄̉̾̓͝ ̷̡̢͓̺̮̹̼̦̝̜̻̹̝̳͔̬͔̳̅̅̃̽̑͋̐̆̀̓̉̊̊̈͒͐̚͘͜͠ͅ ̸̧̨̡̭̯̲͕̲̩͔̘̖̱̙͖̱̞̆̒̒̑͐͆̌̓̀̀͑̊͛́͐̋͘͝ ̵̨̡̧͎̟͇͙̱̻̲̗̲̞̩̟̗̣͔͉́̌̾͑̿̀̂͊̆͗͆̄̓͝ͅ ̸̩͚̳̟̄̌͆̈́̅͠ ̷̨̪̻̭̱͈̝͖̞̱̩̬͚̆͒͌̉͊̀͌́̀͆͒̈̓̉̽͗́̃̈́͒͝ ̷̢̧̨͓̼̙̙͚̮̳̬̪̬̗̰̟̩̄ ̸̨̢̢̧̛̞͙̬̙͙̳̯̞̹͎̙͍̬̬̋̾̄́͐̅̑͌͊̀͝ ̸̨̘͙͚͎̦̤̞̣͉̺͎͍̫͓̇̌͊̅͊̄̌͆̿̈̃̄͂͛̒͋̐̇͐̂̂̔̐͜͝ ̶̜͓̲̲͎̉͆̏̅͒̔́̉̿̀͆͒́̍̉̿͒́͘̚̚͝ ̴̧̙̻̠̲͇̭̺͔̙̖̮̠͓̫̣̘̱̻̇̎͌͛͐̌͒̈́̓̇́͘̚ ̵̭̜̺͒̀̍̓̅͐̎͐͘͜͠͝ͅ ̶̨̯̹̫̞̬̠̪̳͔͉̥̖̭̩̼̮̭̖̻͍̳̜̭͖͑̈́̀̍͛̓̾̂̇̈́̈́͑͊̂͝͝ͅ ̸̞̣̮̪̳̠͔͚̯̟̣̍͂̔̉̐̌͘͝ͅ ̷̢̰͓̱͙̲̖̹̤̮͖̭͈̘̟͇͇̙͕̤̤̭͎̎̋́̈͌͑̍͗̾͘͜͝͝-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠ ̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝

-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠
 ̵͙̦͓̲̘͕͔̼͔͔̭͕̳͉̱͙̦̫͈̰̯̟̳͙̣̝͍̗̤̻̟͎͎̒̾̾́̀́͋̄̊̐̅͌̓͂͋́͆̂͂̍͆̑͛̓̀̈́̿̌͆̊́̒̚̚͠͝͝ͅ

̷̦̥͙͚̬̮̈̈́̐̋̒̾̒͗̅̆̈́̏̆̅͂̒̈́͗̕͠ ̶̨̱̠̝̦̻̟̭̭̝̣̙͍̲̖̥͎̥̲̝͚̉̿͂̎̂̿̂̒͛̍͑̈́̕͠ͅ ̶̡̡̭̝̭͖͍̩̜̺̗̘̼͖̻̤̹̗̬̖̬̟͚̖͌̌̔̂̉͊̊͆̀̈̒͑̎̈̒̀̚͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̧̨̢̧̲̺̼̟̱̥̖̻̹͖͕̩̞̱̩͓̈́̾̿͆̓̚̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢͔̺̲̜͈̲̲̰̙͔̳̫̊͆̌́͌́̅̀̍̑̔͛͋̽̌̋͠͝ ̷͔̳̘̏̾̅̏͛̇͛̍̈͒͘ ̷̼̱̯̻̘̂̓̔̀̉̏̂̑͂̏̄̉̾̓͝ ̷̡̢͓̺̮̹̼̦̝̜̻̹̝̳͔̬͔̳̅̅̃̽̑͋̐̆̀̓̉̊̊̈͒͐̚͘͜͠ͅ ̸̧̨̡̭̯̲͕̲̩͔̘̖̱̙͖̱̞̆̒̒̑͐͆̌̓̀̀͑̊͛́͐̋͘͝ ̵̨̡̧͎̟͇͙̱̻̲̗̲̞̩̟̗̣͔͉́̌̾͑̿̀̂͊̆͗͆̄̓͝ͅ ̸̩͚̳̟̄̌͆̈́̅͠ ̷̨̪̻̭̱͈̝͖̞̱̩̬͚̆͒͌̉͊̀͌́̀͆͒̈̓̉̽͗́̃̈́͒͝ ̷̢̧̨͓̼̙̙͚̮̳̬̪̬̗̰̟̩̄ ̸̨̢̢̧̛̞͙̬̙͙̳̯̞̹͎̙͍̬̬̋̾̄́͐̅̑͌͊̀͝ ̸̨̘͙͚͎̦̤̞̣͉̺͎͍̫͓̇̌͊̅͊̄̌͆̿̈̃̄͂͛̒͋̐̇͐̂̂̔̐͜͝ ̶̜͓̲̲͎̉͆̏̅͒̔́̉̿̀͆͒́̍̉̿͒́͘̚̚͝ ̴̧̙̻̠̲͇̭̺͔̙̖̮̠͓̫̣̘̱̻̇̎͌͛͐̌͒̈́̓̇́͘̚ ̵̭̜̺͒̀̍̓̅͐̎͐͘͜͠͝ͅ ̶̨̯̹̫̞̬̠̪̳͔͉̥̖̭̩̼̮̭̖̻͍̳̜̭͖͑̈́̀̍͛̓̾̂̇̈́̈́͑͊̂͝͝ͅ ̸̞̣̮̪̳̠͔͚̯̟̣̍͂̔̉̐̌͘͝ͅ ̷̢̰͓̱͙̲̖̹̤̮͖̭͈̘̟͇͇̙͕̤̤̭͎̎̋́̈͌͑̍͗̾͘͜͝͝-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠ ̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝

̶̢̮̜̱̣̗̠̜̠̱̠̥͚̰̮͎̮̪̜͕̯̻̼̣͙̇̐́͂͆̊̈́̃̓͋̒͑̏̃͐̉̓̔̔̉̀̽͘͜͠ͅ ̴̨̧͇̰̱̳̪̬͉̪̙̹̜͉̦̯̠͙͚͇͉͓̱̳̫͖́̈́͋̾̐̀̈̂̀̾͂̅̉͛̓̒͂̈́͘͠ ̸̨̟̳͍͈̞͈̂̌̉̀̀̉̇͊͊̈̍̆̾͋̈͊̌͒͒͒͒̈́̽̉̐̇̽̕͜ ̸̨̡̛̪̤̩̭̩̥͎̜̱͕̥͓̭͕̞̰̥̯̭̝̯̭̩͍͈͓͓̪̤̭̦͍̤͙̭̗́͊̇͗́͑̈̾͛̊́̀͌̀̓́̉̽͐̓̔̑̑̈́̊́̕̕͠ͅͅ ̷̼̣̱̼̺̣̪̔̉͑͑̄̐̈́̌̀̉̃͝ ̴̢̢̧͉̥̻̥̞̻̲̬͔̺̣̯͗̀̂̀̑ ̸̡̨̨̺̯͖̫̝̲͈̦̪̩͇͎̠̙͉̹̫̜̙̘̖̳͊͌̐̎̎̓̒̽̃̆͘̕͝ͅ ̶̪͎̫̱̪̖͖͚͉̜̟͍̥̟̦̼̼̪̹̥̫̦̖̺̳̦͚̗̗̠͎̥̦̜̤̤̙̜̻͙̝̝͉͐̅̇̈́̏̊̾̈͐̔͑͊̃͆̃̒͒̈́͑̌̂̑̚͝͝͝͝ ̵̳̂̊̈́̔̓̈́̚͝ ̵̧̟͓̺̞̳̱̮̖̲͓̰̞͔̩̘̲̼͔͔̺͕̞̓̏̋̽̈́͐͋̓̽̎̾̈́̃̆̈͆̐̌̾͛͘̚͜͝ͅͅ ̶̡̨̧̡̧̞̙̭̙̬̣̙͙̗̙͙̱͎͈̼̫͉̟̜̯̺͓̼̠̤̼͙͈̩̫̼̺̠̬̼̪̱̬̺̯̔̉̈́̓͐̀̆̎͗͒̅̓͛͑͑̄̊̅̍ͅ ̸̱̦͎̰̦̫͉̙̬̞͊̓̄̂̇͗̍̿͘̚͘̕̕͜͝͝͝ ̵̨̡̨̢̡̛̯̺̹͈͈̗̠̙̠̺̭̼̩̙̙͈̦̟̭̣͖̮͖̘͚͓͚͖͍̱̥͍̞̳̳̟͂͛̒͂̀̑̑̿͊̄̐̈̀́́̈́́͛̓͗͌̚͘̚̕͝͠͝͝͝͝ ̶̢̨̢̛̳͔͇͙̤̩̺̠̪̞̳͉̖̣͓̳̺͍̜̲̮͆́̈̆̉͌͑̃̾̂͋͐̍̇̆͒̆̅͛̉̀̅̅͒͑̊̌͘̕̚̚̕͜͠͝ͅ ̸̢̢̡͇̼̹̣͇̘̞̞͖̙̺͆̌̑̎̌̾̔̀́͋̎̽̄̅̒̿̀̐̽̏̋͂̊́̽̈́͌̎̑̿̓͊́͌̚̕̕͜͜͝͝͠ ̵̧̢̧̠̱͈̩̤̣͚̪̖̦͉͙̤̗͖͓͇͆̈́̍̕͜͜ ̶̡̧̛̛̤̪̳͚̳̝͇̞̦͚̖̳͉̼́̀̐̇̍̉̏̽͊͂̕ͅ ̷̧̡̛̠̣̳̫̺̗̩͓͂͆̑̌͒̾̌̈͋͌̃̇̅̒̈́̑͑̓̀̈́͗̄́̐̅͊͐̚͘͝ ̸̧̢̡̡̧̢͍̱͇̪̗̪̭͕͇̣͕̹̹͖̳̝͔͓͎͚̻̰̻͙̫͈͈̝̲̰̦͚͈̼̼͛̒̈́͘ͅ ̸̢̛͖͇͕̩̠̻͙̲͙͕͔̳̻̩̩̲́̽̅͌̊̿̀̿͂̾́̋̀̆͋́͛̋̃́̿̀̎̌̓̾̀͂̔̅̈̌̇̌͆̔͋̚͠͝͠ͅͅ ̸̯̝͖̮̮̘͇̮̂̎ͅ ̴̧̥̮̝͕̻͙͎̥͙͇̖̤́̌̊̽̈́̾͌̊̐͂̈́̒̂̄̾̓̉̆͘͘͜͝͝͝ͅ ̷̨̡̨̨̯̳̥͕͇̺̰̲̝̥̖͚̜̰͚͕̖̣̫͔͉̱͔̰̤̮͍̈́̇̄̾̌͋̓͌̚̕͜ ̶̧̖͖̞̖̮͕̮̪̥̣͉̞̼̘̹̺̋͒̔̈͊̏͗̆͗͛̀̎̾̍̋̊̑̈̆̊̈̏͆̽̐̎̃̓͒̿̎̐͘̚͠͝͝͠ͅ ̶̧̡̩̦͇̗̫̙͓̼̤̹̪̘̜͉̘̫̱̥͙̤̖̺̖̱̰̦̬̬͉͈͖̹͈͍̰̳̺͕͔̜̱̫̽͑͗̔̌́̈́̓̂̓̐̓͝ͅ ̷̧̨̨̡̛͉̩͈̘̤̺͈̦̦̼̝͙̗̘̟̭̩̩̝̥̭̀͛͐̉̔̓͒̔̐̄̈́̔͆̿͐̀͒́͒̈́͋͛̅̏̌̎̈̀̕͜͝͠͠͝͝ͅ ̸̢̗̱̱̜̱͖͔̯͆̃̃̅̅̄͂͊̈́̓̾͗̈́̕ ̶̧̨̨̨̨̧̛̟̼͔̬̙̙̬͙̗̖̗̬͔̳͍̼̦̱̩͎̰̠̩͕͕̟͈͈̘̊͗̎͜ͅͅͅ ̴͙͖̯̯̹̝̟̈́̽͊͆̑̄͛̽̓̈̀͒̓͂̈́̄̏͑̀̔̃̕͘͜͠͠ͅ ̷̨̧̜̭͔͎̬̭̠̹̮̰̜͕̰̰͙̥͕̺̣̲͉͈̠͊͜ ̷̢̨̡̡̨̛̟̦͈̗̫̰͈̫̰̥̜̥͕̻̤̖̼̺̟̞̗̗͕͓̦͓̤͉̤̝͕̽̒͗̃̉̈̑̿̈́͂͗̈͐̈́̄̒͂͑͂̐̂̆̃͗̉̀̎͜͝͝͠͝ ̸̡̧̺̪͉̠̮͚̪͖̲̦͎̫̩̤͖͎̰͖̯͓̺̻̗͔̱͈͙͓̹̅̓̀̈́͂͋̅͂̅̉ͅͅ ̶̡̢̢̨̛͖̖̹̰͇̺̳̭̻͖̦̭͉̖̩͚̞̳̗̜̦̳̖̞̰̟̠͚͓̘͈̯͈̞̹͔͗̈̔̉̐͒̏͂̒͠ ̶̨̛͖̮̤͉̪̫̰̺̭͙̟̫͖̤̫̹̯̞͓̩̞̙̄̄̇͛͊̾̄́̀͂̌͑̒̂̒̉̑́̇̄̃̊̌͛͌͐͆̉̒̌̅̊̎͌̉͐̓͆̌̏͆̚͘͘͜͠͝ ̸̡̢̨̨̡̧̝̹̮͓̩̘̠̯̫̦̼͚̙̯̻̺̣͔͍͙̹͈͓͙̘̳͎͈̹͖̖̖͎̘̒͂͛̌̍̌̎̑́̈́̒̎̑̌̚̕͜͝͠͝ ̷̡̧̮͕͔̩̻̖̌͛͋́͝ ̸̨̡̨̡̧̞̮͉̱̣̳̮̮̙͙̗̳͚͖̗͓̘̬̗̼̻̳̭̬͎̳̯͙̞͎̤̪̗̟͓̌͋̆͒̍̍͌̉͆͜ͅ ̷̡̡̡͍̤̖͓̲̘͇͚̪̺̳͕̦̒͗́̅͂̀́̈̓̆̌̕ ̶̧̨̨̨̧̥̞̜̫̟͙̬͚͍͕͉̭͇̣͕̣̭̩̣̰̜̼̘͔̬͎̟̤̳̝̹̗̪͖̫̬̏͗́̓̐̂̀́́͗̀͗̌̀̿́́̃͂̅͜͝͠͠ͅͅ ̵̱̻̺̥̣͍̿̐̅̆͆͗͊̍̽͐̏̈̐̚͘ ̷̨̢̲̮͎̱̱̣͍͂̌͊ ̵̨̡̢̨̘̞͓̯̩̩̯̞̗̟͚͉̙̫͚̰̩͔̦̺̫̝͖̺͕͍̯̾̈͆͂̓̒͊͗̐̐͂̃̉̆͒̏̏̓̾͛͆̓̆́̊̽͝ ̴̡̛̘͚͎̫͍̦̲͚͚̳͚͚̙̩̭̻͓̘͐̈́͑͋͐̊̊̇͒͒̑̾̿̒͘͘̕͝ͅͅͅ ̶̨̗̥̪̪̘̜̺͈̳͙̰̘̲͂͊̎̉͜ ̴̧̡̡̨̢̱͓̯̮̼̳̤̯͇̞̩̪̼̘͓̞̦̫̲̥̻̥̞͍͈̊̔͂̽̅͋̈̌̂͊̾̓͑̑̆̈́͠ͅ ̸̛̝̙̲̱̎͛̏̓͌̈́̍̑̈́̈̌̊̈́̓̆̚͜͝ ̸̧̨̧̡̧̭͈̲͕͈̗͓̹͕̲̳̭̹̹̳̹̻̩̟̣͕̙̫̟͖͍̜̲̖̭͖͔̲͔̬͈̪͇̔̿̎́̀̆̈́̑̈́̐̃͊̔̀̒̏̈́̇̀̍̐͌̚͜͝͝ ̶̛̛͚̫͚̼̺̳̬̲̦̮͐̉͆̂͌̋̂̒̆͌̓͊͂͒̀̾̊̃͊̎͊̅̑̑́̆͗͑̏́̚̕̕͘͝ ̵̡̜̦̞̹̦̭̩̹̬̬̥̝̐̑͋̇̈͐͊̈́̉̇͗̾̉̎͐͆̿͂̐̏́̍̍̾̃̉͋͆̈̊̐͑̌̉͘̚̚̚͜͝ͅͅͅ ̸̧͈̞͉͇͇̗͓̩̠̥̜̮̲͗̊̊̽͊̐̄̈̑̈́̽͒̓̕͘ ̶̧̧̝̩̦̼̞̖̙͚̠͕͓̰͙̺̹͈̈̂͂̈̈́̈̎̎̅́̆́̎͌̔̋͠ ̶̡̢̡̢̧̧͚͔̭͕͖̖̺̺̥̝̮̮̙͓̫͓̳̘͇͍͖̠̠̮̪̲̲̳̰̺͔͎̲̖̝͈̞͍̌̓͑̂́́̏ ̵̢̨̢̡̡̢̧̠̜̼̹̺̜̲̜͙͎̣͕͙̹̖̰̩̮̞͍̲̖̩̙̻̼̠͖̱̰̺̬̬̹͔̅̒͆̌̄̊͜͝ͅͅ ̴̨͔͉̰̼̟͕̙̳͇̫̻͕̬̻̦̜́̋̏̔̐̽̽̒̀̂̈́̎̔͊̈́̈̿͊̒͗̇̉̐̇̽͜͜͝ͅ ̶̢̩͔̝̪̻͖̻̮̥͙̽̔̈̃͑́̽̃̅̐̄̓̀̀͛̉̏̑̀́̄̚͘̕͝ ̶̰̈̅̿͠͝ ̵̡̢̛̛̭͇̰͔̯̬̤̺̞͕̦͙̯̠͚̮̟̙̦̈̐͆̔̿͋̀͋̍͌̽̑̾̀͗̔͑̚͘͜͠͝ͅ ̸̨̡̨̧̛̰̱̯̞̥̳̯̯̜͇̭̹̼̦̝̩͓̮͍͚͍̬̤̭̻͓͕̲͎̈̑̀̂̋̀͗̍̾͗̾͗͑̓͌̄̎́̈̿̑͆̊͂̿̋̏̓͛̆̄͘͜͝ ̷̪͇̼͓͙͎̟̳͎̜͎̲͓̜̬̗̬͖͉̖̯̩̩̪̰͈̠̭͓͉̝̜̬͂̃͒̏̾͋̇͆̈́̕͘̕͝ͅ ̸̧̗͇̼̱̣̹̫̫̩̻̪͚̬̤͎͇̭̼̤͕̯͕͍̦͇̜̲̜̹̹̖̰͔̮͎̲̮̞̬͙̮̭͔͓̞̠̿͆̒͛͊ ̷̢̛̼̰̯̙̋̃̋̽͛̈́̔̃̿̓̌͊͆̃́͝ ̷̢̢̧̡̺͔̝̳͖͚̖̞͔̗͔̩̰̮͔̲̮͙͚̳̗̯͖̪̯̦͖̮͉̫͇̏̑̀̋̀̿̅͌̐̅̇̽̄̽̍̌͗̽͂́͛̽͂͊̑̕̚͜͠ ̷̥̝͎̲͇̞̪͙̹̔̈͌̀͐̊͌̈́̅̑̑̿̕͘͜ͅ ̵̛̛̙̹͙̲̝͎̿̂̽̽̋̆̂̅͌͂̂͌̽͆̽̍̓̿̈́̂͊͆̈́̚͝͝ ̷̡̡͚͈̳̰̯̞͕̲͚̺̠̳̦̺͉͇̱̯͎̪̳̙̞̫̞͚̮̮͙̳̜́̐̈́͜ ̵̡̧̜̺̼͖̘̯̞̮͔̱͑̍̈̅̀̒́͋̏̇̏̅̌͆̈̂̏͂̂͑́̂̊́̈̑͋̄͆͘̕̕͝͠͝ ̴̧̨̛̛̱̦̠̼̖̖̹͈͙̹͖̫̪̯̆̆͑͂̀̂̒͋̎̈́͊̿̒͌͑̆́̈́̆͗́͐̒̌́̈̍̄͂̊́̈́́̔͑̀̐͂̏̔͂͘̚͠͝ ̸̧͍͚̫̯̮͍̹̩̬̪͍̮̪̹͚̅̀̈̈́̀̃̎̂̐̎͐́̆̿̈̓̀́̀͆͂͒̍̏̇̔̅̈̐͐̃̿͋̇͊͘̚͘͘̚͝͠ ̵̧͎͙͔̦̱͍̠͎̺̭̟̙̪̥͉͕͖̪͍̈́̎̈́̇͗̓̈́̈́̎͆̔̈́̓͌̽͗̍̈́̑̍͐̆̌̀̾̾̐͂͘̕̕͘͜͝͝͠͝͝ ̶̲͚̾ͅͅ ̴̧̧̠̝͈̞̮͔̜̩̫̣̜͍̲̭̞̮͎̙͔̰͇̝͎͈́̊̀͗̈́͐͐̌̾̓̓͌̇̾́͂̅͋̒͛͂̃̈̄͐̄́̅̈́̈̆̂̚͘̕ͅ ̶̧̛̩̥͉̪̺̘̬̯̲͚̠͚̠͇̜̯̣̙̪͈̰̜̿̇̐́̂͒̉̈́̈́̌̀͗̊̓͊̔͊̒͑̚̕ ̴̡̡̩̘̲̰͍̮͖̫̦̩̙̳̪͇̲̥̌̿̃̒̄͛̏̒̾̈́̈̐̎̈́͐ͅ ̶̳̱̳̝͒̎̄̇͛̃̀̈́͛̾́͑͋͋̐̓̈́͒̈̈́̈́̈́͑̓̄̅̓̓͛͂͐̋̅͆̈́͊̅͠͠͝͠ ̴̡̛͖̖͕͙͍̱̮̑̏̒͗̎ ̸̧̡̧̢̨̧̗͖̻̥̱̞̤͎̱̰̜̪͔̳̩͚̟̦͉̰̩̝̳͚̮̜͎͙̤̹̫̞̼͈̗̭̿̅̏͌̒̓̈͗̏́͋̓̉̏͐̀̌̂́̉̈́̏̂̿̐̏́̀̽̊̂̌̎̊̑̏̑͝͠ͅ ̷̡̛͔̰͎͔̜͔̫͙͇̬̹͉̗̜̪͙͉̞̞̙̖̺̩̥͈͙̥͍͔̎́̏̄̀͌̒̇͊̇̈́͐̔̓͐͑̈́̀͆͊͌̔̀̒̏̏̉̍̒͂̉̚̚͜͜͝ͅ ̸̨͉͎̞̙̣̟͚͔͖̭̩̯̼͙̻̤̝̮̣̘̩̜͚͍͈̖̫͚̙̟͎̺͚̼̩̪̺̓̑̀́̈́̇̈́͐̍̾̂̿̐͐̑̔͂̓̌̾́̀̈́̾̈́̕̕͠ͅͅ ̶̧̛̻̜͉̪̥͇̼̫̠͒͐͆̀̆͛̐̍͛̀̈́̊̈́͊́̿̋̆̀̅͂̈́̊̾͋̋͂̍͒̚͘͝͝ ̴̨̢̨̢̨̡̘̳̗̩̫̳̞̲͓͕͕͔͔̙̳͚̮͉͍̩͉̍̈͗͂͑̅̽̓̇̈́̓̀̈́̔̍̾̌̀̏̏͛͐́̕͜͜ ̶̧͙͉̯͉̺̲̰͉̝̳̞̮͍͔̤̪̣̘͇̫͉̰͇͆̈́̓̀͜ͅ ̶̡̨̨̧̳̝̤͓̝̳̪͈͙͍̜̟̥̱͉̳͍̞̮̜͖̘͚̺̗̠̩̲̰̮̳͖̥̓̓̀̐̃̿͆́͛̄̇͗́̀̂̍̎̉̑̓͛̑͛̅̕̕͜͠ ̸̨̛̟̤̱̦̥̭̮͎͇̙̮̠̖͓͚̤̹̹̮́̀͊̿̌̓̽̉̒̄̃͛̿͑͋͑͂̏͛͛̾͌̄̈́̆̆́̉͌͌̓̈́̒̈́̋̆̚̕͜͜͝͝͝ ̸̨̢͔͈͓͎̖̦̮͙̙̝̝̱̤̠͇͍͚̱̦̳̖͍͇̞͈̦̦̏̊̈́̋̄̋͐͆͂̉̾ ̶̢̡̨̢̢̞̲̭̦͈̟̜̩͎̪͓̜̥̥̥̽̄͗̊͂̚͠ͅ ̴̢̨̛͍̘͚͍̦̺͓͓̟͇͕̖͚̟̟͇̫̰͋̍́̔̏̌̌̎̈́͌͂͌̃̉̿̈́̀́̅̂͊̅̎̄̃̆̒̓͒̀͒̉͘͘͜͠͝ ̶̨̧̨̢̛̛̞͔̪̰̥͉̪͓̼͚͖͖̠͇̜͖͕̄̄̀̌̇̈̎́̒̊̾̓͘̕͝͠͝ͅ ̴̨̡̡̛̫̪̮̣̖̳̬̩̩̮̹̠͚̰̝̜̯̬̼͎̠̥͙̪̹̗͖͙͕̟͒̍̑͆̌̓̑̓̾̐͐̃̓̇̏̈́̽͋̓͒̑̌̈̈̊͐͆̈́͘̚̚͜͜͝͝͠ͅ ̵̧̧̻͕͙̗̯̹̗̗͕̩͓̥͙̣̪̩̞̥͓̖̗͇̳̟͇̪͒̈̄̏́́̾̃̀̏̍́̍̈́̅͂̾͜ ̸̨̢͓͙̠̻̟̤̙̙͇̝͙̘̺͔͓̜͚͔͓͚̰̙͙̙̥̗̬͇̝̣̝̹̜̤͕̔̍̇̿̀̈́̎͆͂̀̌́̚͜͝͠ͅ ̷̡̨̡̟̹̯̫̝̻͓̥͍͍̰̙͈͇̙̯͍̯̫̻̟̩̫̬̝̯̱͇̣͚̙̺͈̪̞̟̋̑̿̀̾́͒̈́̃̏͛̍̈́̍̐̿̈͑̃͑̓͘͝͝ͅ ̵̧̣̰̫̹̘̲͇̤̜̩̺͍̱̱̝̈́͗̋̆̋̾̈̔̔̄́͋̒͐͆͂͐̐͋̋̓̓̈́͛̑̈́͘̚͘̚͠͝ͅ ̵̛̫̹̳̠͙̫͖̥̝͙̰̤͈̤̬̳͈̙͙̮͖̿̈́̑̈́̄̔̾̉̔̎̎͂̓̏̽̍̃̓̈́̌̊̀̀͊͊̑̊̔̾͂̅̐͑͛͌̏̆̚̚͜ ̶̨̨̡̬̖͈͚̘̰͎̰̙̳̫͚̦̤̳̫̙̳̤̟͔̦͚̯̠̠̲̳̬̘̤̤̮̻̖̺͙̟̥͐͜ ̶̨̛̝͙̩̫̱̮̫̜̥̟̜͖̠̦̪̟͔͍͎̙̳͉͙̣͑̇͋̇̊͗̿̅͊̉̾̐̓́̐͗̿̏͒̌͜͜͠ͅ ̴͖̤̗̠̠̯̊̇̐̿͑͊̚͝ ̷̢̧͎͔̰̜̞̤̲̱̱̰͎̹̗͉̲̺̥̯̻͉̗͖̪̻͉̼̤̘̦̞̤̳͎̩͔͂͐̓͗̆̂͑́͑̾͛͗̂̀̎̚͜͜ͅ ̴̢̡̛̛̺̳̗̟̪̦͕̜͍͉̲͇̣̱̥̠̝̪̞̟̝͍͚͚̱͚̦̪̮̯͕̮͔͇͖̤͛̊̅͌͊̏̍̽͑̇̏̌̉͋̅̋̋̄̀̏̿̎̎̔͑̓̎̽̾́́͆̓̐̇͜͜͝͠͝͝ ̴̧̡̢̛͍͉̖̗̻̩̠̭̖͈̬̳̤̮͔̝̼̝̖̞̜͕̣̄̽̂̂͗̍͂͋͒̀̀̌͒̆͌͗̉̌̿̽̔̌͊̇̓̏̉͜͜͠͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͉̖̫̲̲̠̪͎̺̠̠̠̖͇̰͉͔̫̠̫̭̠̤̼̞̮͚͕̜̫̤͇̤̟͚̓́̒͑̈́̐̽̇̎̅͘͠ͅ ̶̡̡̛̞̝̭͙̞̬̫̹̞̩̯͐͌́͆̀͑̊̏̈́̌̍̓̒͐͗̃̋́̔̊̈́̈́͑̚͠͝ ̸̡̧̨̡̡̢̛͎͉̺̬͓̮͓̗̲̗̤̺̩͖͉̪͖̪̘̖̮̗̳̳̟̥͚̦̤̥͓͉͓̦͔̌̿̀̿̿̃͒͛͋̇̉̈́͆̅͑̆̈̿̆͊̒̀͊͑̔͒̽̀̽̅̆̅̉̅͐͗̍̅̐̓̾͘̕͜͜͝͠ ̶̧̡̧̧̛̛̛͔̼͕̦͙͔̰̻̞͙̩̀͊̂̉̈́̆́͑̆̅͛̄̀̌̋̀̈̍̂͗͊̏͗͋͗͗͆̓̄̄͐̎́̾͆̚̕̕͘͝͝͠͠ͅ ̸̧̢̧̡̛̹̦̩̘̫͍͔̪͚̥̪̫̩̳̱̖͈̬̗̳̫̦̻̳̗̠͇̇̌͆͐͗͐͋̾͊̿̃͛̚͜͝͝͠͠ ̷̗͔̤͚͈̩̘̯̞̯̬͈͓̒̌ ̸̢̧̡̨̨̛͕̪̭͔̲͔̰̦͍̬̪̣̹͍̮̒͊̓̈͋̏̐͌̍̿͑͋̾̋̾̂͌͑̈́̀̑͋̅̔̉̔̅͆́̈́̏̋̄͜͝͝͠ͅ ̵̨̹̰̳̰̣̞͓͎̰̯͉̱̠̬̪̹̼͋̍̔̆̔͐̓̈͛̒̆̋͗̉͂̍́̈́̀͗͑̉̍͘͝͝ ̶̢̟̣̩͚̖̣̮̜̳̯͓͓͇̪͖̤̘͙̝̟͍͖̖̌̓͆̒̍̚͜ ̸̨̡̰͎̮̼͇̥̯̟̥͖̣̬̭̥͙̰̃̀̄̆͆̅̐͑̋̏̄̄ ̶̨̛̝͙̩̫̱̮̫̜̥̟̜͖̠̦̪̟͔͍͎̙̳͉͙̣͑̇͋̇̊͗̿̅͊̉̾̐̓́̐͗̿̏͒̌͜͜͠ͅ ̴͖̤̗̠̠̯̊̇̐̿͑͊̚͝ ̷̢̧͎͔̰̜̞̤̲̱̱̰͎̹̗͉̲̺̥̯̻͉̗͖̪̻͉̼̤̘̦̞̤̳͎̩͔͂͐̓͗̆̂͑́͑̾͛͗̂̀̎̚͜͜ͅ ̴̢̡̛̛̺̳̗̟̪̦͕̜͍͉̲͇̣̱̥̠̝̪̞̟̝͍͚͚̱͚̦̪̮̯͕̮͔͇͖̤͛̊̅͌͊̏̍̽͑̇̏̌̉͋̅̋̋̄̀̏̿̎̎̔͑̓̎̽̾́́͆̓̐̇͜͜͝͠͝͝ ̴̧̡̢̛͍͉̖̗̻̩̠̭̖͈̬̳̤̮͔̝̼̝̖̞̜͕̣̄̽̂̂͗̍͂͋͒̀̀̌͒̆͌͗̉̌̿̽̔̌͊̇̓̏̉͜͜͠͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͉̖̫̲̲̠̪͎̺̠̠̠̖͇̰͉͔̫̠̫̭̠̤̼̞̮͚͕̜̫̤͇̤̟͚̓́̒͑̈́̐̽̇̎̅͘͠ͅ ̶̡̡̛̞̝̭͙̞̬̫̹̞̩̯͐͌́͆̀͑̊̏̈́̌̍̓̒͐͗̃̋́̔̊̈́̈́͑̚͠͝ ̸̡̧̨̡̡̢̛͎͉̺̬͓̮͓̗̲̗̤̺̩͖͉̪͖̪̘̖̮̗̳̳̟̥͚̦̤̥͓͉͓̦͔̌̿̀̿̿̃͒͛͋̇̉̈́͆̅͑̆̈̿̆͊̒̀͊͑̔͒̽̀̽̅̆̅̉̅͐͗̍̅̐̓̾͘̕͜͜͝͠ ̶̧̡̧̧̛̛̛͔̼͕̦͙͔̰̻̞͙̩̀͊̂̉̈́̆́͑̆̅͛̄̀̌̋̀̈̍̂͗͊̏͗͋͗͗͆̓̄̄͐̎́̾͆̚̕̕͘͝͝͠͠ͅ ̸̧̢̧̡̛̹̦̩̘̫͍͔̪͚̥̪̫̩̳̱̖͈̬̗̳̫̦̻̳̗̠͇̇̌͆͐͗͐͋̾͊̿̃͛̚͜͝͝͠͠ ̷̗͔̤͚͈̩̘̯̞̯̬͈͓̒̌ ̸̢̧̡̨̨̛͕̪̭͔̲͔̰̦͍̬̪̣̹͍̮̒͊̓̈͋̏̐͌̍̿͑͋̾̋̾̂͌͑̈́̀̑͋̅̔̉̔̅͆́̈́̏̋̄͜͝͝͠ͅ ̵̨̹̰̳̰̣̞͓͎̰̯͉̱̠̬̪̹̼͋̍̔̆̔͐̓̈͛̒̆̋͗̉͂̍́̈́̀͗͑̉̍͘͝͝ ̶̢̟̣̩͚̖̣̮̜̳̯͓͓͇̪͖̤̘͙̝̟͍͖̖̌̓͆̒̍̚͜ ̸̨̡̰͎̮̼͇̥̯̟̥͖̣̬̭̥͙̰̃̀̄̆͆̅̐͑̋̏̄̄

-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠

-̸̨̲̬̮̫̗̻̎̅̾͘͝-̴̧͕̥͊́̈́́͒̚-̵̮̹͈͙̘͉̥̯̕-̵̛̱͇̱̿̌̔͊̚-̷̢͔̊͆̑͆͛̆̍͠-̸̟͈̫̇̃-̷̛͔̲̋̓͆ͅ-̵͉͑̚-̸̥͓̖̈́͗̂̉-̴̜͇̀͂̑͠-̷͍̺͍̓̈͐͋͑͋-̸̣̲͇͙̮͐͗̓-̴͎͌͠-̵̡̪̟̭̻̩̟͋̄̍̀̍͒͒̔-̵͕͙̪̬͖͍̹͌̎͒̉͒͆-̵̢̝͔̼̜͕̪́̾̏ͅ-̷͉̲̯͔͌̆-̸͎̘͖͇̪͇͐̀̐͝-̴̡̧̭̝̖̦̭̈́-̴̲̠̭͚̰̭̖̼́̽̂̇͋̆͘͘-̸̬̮̥̗̥̱͌̕-̸̥̙̾̉-̷̖̃́͊̀͠-̷͈̭̖̱̥͛͒̐̂̕ͅ-̶͔̏-̵̧̹͈̍̔̃͛͠-̴̨̛͉̖̐̍̐͊̍-̷̟͍͖̩̽-̵̳̥̳͕͊͛͑͝-̷̰͈͉͇̰̋̾̈́-̵̧͙̪̫͈̅̇̈̈́͂͝-̴̨̲̙͉̙̤̖͎̉̎̔̎̈́̚̚-̶̹̜̰̺̋̐̕-̷̡̩̮̗̼̜̒̂͝-̴̡̫̺̘͝-̶̛̯̩̤̬́̀̂̌̀͝-̴̜͚̥̯̅̓̑-̸̠̇-̶̤̔͛̈́͒͌̕-̵̭̪͓̤̓-̵̛̭̣͉͓͈͚́̉̊̂-̸̧̞̣̽̽͜͠-̸͚̰͉̰̬̗̳̾̈͝ͅ-̴̨͎̉̔͑̽̂͊-̸̧̻̲͇͖̰̼͋̂́̄̃͘-̴͉̙̊͑̈́͐͋͆͝-̷̨͓̫̀͆̂͘̚͝-̴̨̱̦̗̥͚̻͗-̸̺̂̑-̷̳̊̕-̴̢̧͔̌͋͂̕͠͝-̴̡̂̌̈͝-̸̙̲͎̙͚̮͙̈̀̔͂̾͊͠ͅ-̶̦̹̭̊̑̅̊̾̕-̶̺̗͓̠̣͂́̆̃͜-̵̙̗̥̣̮͗͛͊̕͘-̵̧͕̪̣̣͛̓̃-̷̢̡̭̹̩̦͓͎̓-̸̫̬͖́̽͋͑͠-̷̤͇̯͙̞̓̒̈́͂͊͜-̴̱̀̐̀͆́͗̚-̸̟̝̾̄̉̓̋-̵̜̦̳͉͍͍̘̭̓-̶̗̜͊͝-̵̛͖͎̲̊̇́̇-̵͚͖̣̓̆̈́͝-̶̨̺̫͎̠̼̫͔̓̀͒̇̔͝-̸̨͈̦̳̈́̑̊ͅ-̶̨̣̝̭̜̆̂̚͝-̸̳̙͓̲̝̅̔͜-̵̛͈̫͙̙̝̓̓̾͐̌-̵͉̖̗͚̇̀̇̊̉̾͌̕-̷̛͓̎̍̓̏͒͂̈́-̸͚͉͖͂-̵̡̩̼̭̯̪̌̽̍̀̚͘͘-̵̝̭͚̓͛͜͜͝-̶̯̝̲̼̹̭͖͓͂́̀͗̿̒́-̸͕͉̗̂̀-̸̡̬͇͕̌ͅͅ-̴̛̪̿̂̔͠-̶̢͇̹̰̬̥̞̣͐̂͝ ̴̢͕̺̮̺̐̀̅̽͌̚ ̷̨̣̳͖̱̤͖̒̀ ̸̡͉̻͎̆̿̈́̿̓́ ̸̤̱̙͗̎̈́͂͠ ̸̠̙̥̗̝͂̋̏̾͊ ̷̡̨̳̞̻̻͙͇̊̐̃̄́͝͝ ̸̧̢̞̘̝̫͗͂̚ ̴̭̜̣͈͎̙̈̍́ͅ ̶͇͉̈̑̋̔͑̚ ̴̨̢̲̩̙̱̮͗̃͌̑ ̵̴̠̤́̄̿͗͋̃͛̈́̓̊͛̈́ͅ-̸̧̞̣̽̽͜͠-̸͚̰͉̰̬̗̳̾̈͝ͅ-̴̨͎̉̔͑̽̂͊-̸̧̻̲͇͖̰̼͋̂́̄̃͘-̴͉̙̊͑̈́͐͋͆͝-̷̨͓̫̀͆̂͘̚͝-̴̨̱̦̗̥͚̻͗-̸̺̂̑-̷̳̊̕-̴̢̧͔̌͋͂̕͠͝-̴̡̂̌̈͝-̸̙̲͎̙͚̮͙̈̀̔͂̾͊͠ͅ-̶̦̹̭̊̑̅̊̾̕-̶̺̗͓̠̣͂́̆̃͜-̵̙̗̥̣̮͗͛͊̕͘-̵̧͕̪̣̣͛̓̃-̷̢̡̭̹̩̦͓͎̓-̸̫̬͖́̽͋͑͠-̷̤͇̯͙̞̓̒̈́͂͊͜-̴̱̀̐̀͆́͗̚-̸̟̝̾̄̉̓̋-̵̜̦̳͉͍͍̘̭̓-̶̗̜͊͝-̵̛͖͎̲̊̇́̇-̵͚͖̣̓̆̈́͝-̶̨̺̫͎̠̼̫͔̓̀͒̇̔͝-̸̨͈̦̳̈́̑̊ͅ

-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠

̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠ ̵̡̨̭͚̝̼̮͌̒̌̆͜ ̸̢̜͎̥̗̘̹̏ ̴̢̘͓̮̠̘̯̦̳̤̦͖͍̭̳̗̀͗͂͊̈͒͝͝ ̶̙̺̦̼̠̼͖͍̺̻͎̤̩͙͚̟͍͚̳̤̖̺̺̜͍̻̋͌͒́͂̅̓́̑͠ ̸̡̢̲͕͖̖̜͔̖̣͎̺̫̘̰̮̬̲̼̻͙̮͙͓̲̯̳͗̇́̀̈́͆̑̑́̍̆̓͒̎́͗͑̒̄͐͆́̋̕ ̷̥̻̊̀͆̔̅̌̽̌̔̽̈́̋̾̔͑͋̚ ̵̛̯̜̦͓̀́͌̅̽̃̚̚͝ ̷̧̟̼̖̯̤͇̲̤̦̯͚̰̤̣̹͍͒̾͊͠ͅ ̵̢̨̰͓̹̤̼̰͉̭͕̩͉̦̖̺̗̻̙͇̼̤̪̩͆̾̄̊̿͆͜ͅ ̴̢̢͔̟̥͓̣͍̼̙̜̱̣̾͗̄̊͌͜͜ͅ ̵̧̛̝͐̀̄́͑͂̀̎̉̾͆̑̑͌͋̑̾͘͝͝͝ ̵̡̨̧̨̝̠͔̠͚͎̻̪̥͇̥̭̽ ̸̡̡̺͈̹͎͚̟̳͔̩̹͚̹̩̦͂ͅ ̶̛̩̹̩̤̻͇̣͖̰̿̇͐̀̈́̉͐̏̎̏̅͊̀͜͠͠͝ ̵̢̺̹͚̹͚̩̱̯̗͈̥̖̩̞͑̑̓̌̀̓͜͝ ̶̘̦͚̦̠̖͇͉̥͖̭̲̀͛̽̾̊̍̌̅̎̇͌̎̒͆́̀̿͒̌͐̀́̓̽͂̋ ̷̢̧̛̻͕̦͎̯̼̤͙̬̖͑̉͛̓́̍͒͗̐̀̉̅̑ ̵̛̘̞̠͓̻̪͙̲̪͙̰͇̹͙͎̈́̑̏̑̌͆̒͊̀́̊̇̀̅̎̊̚͝ ̴̨̜̤̖̘̦̩̳̩̻̞̣̰͔͎̤͔̳̬̥̜̾̐̇͗̊̿̈́̔̑͂̆̌͗̌̋͋̊͌̋̂͛̅͊͘̕͘ͅͅͅͅ ̴̧̦̳̦̲̣̫̫͚̥͚͎̱̜̲̪̀͋̓̒̎̆̌̿͗̈̓͋̀͐̎̿̚̚̚͠ͅ ̶̧̫̱͉̯̬̾͆͠ͅ ̸̛̛̛͚̯̟̪͙͇̀̅͊͗͂͑̔̕͘͠͠ ̸̢͙͍̘̳̝̺̖̇̿̈͒͋̍͋̄̀̄͜ͅ ̴̛̲̭̲̜̗̺̙̼͇̟̳̱̩͉̳̯̽̈́͛̈̇̍͑̾͂̃̀̋͒̑́̐́̿̂͗̾̏̾̚͠ ̵̢̙̱̣̮͔͓͓̩͖̭͕̰͗̌̎̀͂̑̈́̈̽̀͜͝ ̴̨̡̛̙̞͎̪̰͙̗̻̼̦͇̳̤͇̪̰̰̥̠̳̜̤̰͆̍́̊͒͋̓̓̌̍͊̚͜͝͠ ̷̼̮̦̮̰̘͇͈̱̟͚̤̰̞̺̝̱͕͈̜̟͉̯̜́̐͗̋̍̑̊̂͐̀̀̿̚̚͝͝ͅ ̴̛̛̝͖͚͖̳͍̜̣̏̔̿̾̈͊́͑̊͒̾̋͑̉̈͋̏̊̕͘͜͠͠ͅ ̴̛̩͇͎͓̫͇̫̋̄̎͆̎͋̕͘ ̵̨̥̘̲͉͖̗̳̻̯͍̖̱͓͇̣͕͍̓̀̐̓͊̇̐͋̅̑͝ͅ ̶̼̲̱̰͎̳̻̣̳̌̌̋͒̑̎͆̂̐̃̔̑͋̌̌̇̐͋̏̆̋̚͝͠ ̷̛̛͇͉͎̺̮̞͍̆̌̒̐̂̒̓̑̃̀͘͝ ̵̢̢̨̛̭̪̭̻̗̦͔͎̫͈̮̣̖̜͔̟͈̳̟̟̳͓̞̓̅̓́͐̍̽̎̆̃̔̑̌͝ ̵̨̛̛̛̪͚͍̲̗̼̹̦̦̩͉̬͔̬̞̆̆́̿̔̍̀́̀̈́́̅̑̈́̏̀͂̇͛̑̚͝͝ ̵̢̛̛͍̿͗̊͐͋̓͒̕͝͝ ̵̧̧̢͖͍̭̦͙̹͓̰̱͇̹͚͓̠͈̞̼̳̳̗͗̏̉͋̿͌̋̈́̈́̐̋̆̊̏̀͋̔̓̈́͊̃̍́̿̚̕͝ ̷̦̥͙͚̬̮̈̈́̐̋̒̾̒͗̅̆̈́̏̆̅͂̒̈́͗̕͠ ̶̨̱̠̝̦̻̟̭̭̝̣̙͍̲̖̥͎̥̲̝͚̉̿͂̎̂̿̂̒͛̍͑̈́̕͠ͅ ̶̡̡̭̝̭͖͍̩̜̺̗̘̼͖̻̤̹̗̬̖̬̟͚̖͌̌̔̂̉͊̊͆̀̈̒͑̎̈̒̀̚͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̧̨̢̧̲̺̼̟̱̥̖̻̹͖͕̩̞̱̩͓̈́̾̿͆̓̚̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢͔̺̲̜͈̲̲̰̙͔̳̫̊͆̌́͌́̅̀̍̑̔͛͋̽̌̋͠͝ ̷͔̳̘̏̾̅̏͛̇͛̍̈͒͘ ̷̼̱̯̻̘̂̓̔̀̉̏̂̑͂̏̄̉̾̓͝ ̷̡̢͓̺̮̹̼̦̝̜̻̹̝̳͔̬͔̳̅̅̃̽̑͋̐̆̀̓̉̊̊̈͒͐̚͘͜͠ͅ ̸̧̨̡̭̯̲͕̲̩͔̘̖̱̙͖̱̞̆̒̒̑͐͆̌̓̀̀͑̊͛́͐̋͘͝ ̵̨̡̧͎̟͇͙̱̻̲̗̲̞̩̟̗̣͔͉́̌̾͑̿̀̂͊̆͗͆̄̓͝ͅ ̸̩͚̳̟̄̌͆̈́̅͠ ̷̨̪̻̭̱͈̝͖̞̱̩̬͚̆͒͌̉͊̀͌́̀͆͒̈̓̉̽͗́̃̈́͒͝ ̷̢̧̨͓̼̙̙͚̮̳̬̪̬̗̰̟̩̄ ̸̨̢̢̧̛̞͙̬̙͙̳̯̞̹͎̙͍̬̬̋̾̄́͐̅̑͌͊̀͝ ̸̨̘͙͚͎̦̤̞̣͉̺͎͍̫͓̇̌͊̅͊̄̌͆̿̈̃̄͂͛̒͋̐̇͐̂̂̔̐͜͝ ̶̜͓̲̲͎̉͆̏̅͒̔́̉̿̀͆͒́̍̉̿͒́͘̚̚͝ ̴̧̙̻̠̲͇̭̺͔̙̖̮̠͓̫̣̘̱̻̇̎͌͛͐̌͒̈́̓̇́͘̚ ̵̭̜̺͒̀̍̓̅͐̎͐͘͜͠͝ͅ ̶̨̯̹̫̞̬̠̪̳͔͉̥̖̭̩̼̮̭̖̻͍̳̜̭͖͑̈́̀̍͛̓̾̂̇̈́̈́͑͊̂͝͝ͅ ̸̞̣̮̪̳̠͔͚̯̟̣̍͂̔̉̐̌͘͝ͅ ̷̢̧̰͓̱͙̲̖̹̤̮͖̭͈̘̟͇͇̙͕̤̤̭͎̎̋́̈͌͑̍͗̾͘͜͝͝ ̵̯͇̼͉͇̠̻̲̖͕̗̻͈̺̤̥̓́͆̊̋͛̋͒͆͑͆̉̓ͅ ̸̢̘͍̖̘͕͔̠̟͔͙͎̣̀̎̄̂̅̌̇̉̈́͗̈́́̅̓̀̉̈́͐͌͗̾̚̕̕͠͝ ̶̧̫̮͔̼̞̭̩̗̪͙͇̙̥͙̻͇͍̠̳̞̘̺̣̘̲̜̅͘ ̸̧̡̨͖̰͈̦̜̗̜̝̗̥̼̦̖̟̥̟̬́̾͑́̌̇͊͛̆̍̽̚͘͝ ̸̧̡͎͖̲̲̝̠͓̺̤̫̹̯̳͓̬̞̞̜͖̖̑̓̾̀̔͂̈́͋̓͌͛̏̉͊͂̈́ͅ ̶̯̱̫͂̂̓͐̏͂̐͆̈́̉͊̀͠ ̴̧̡͔̯̺̰̩̜̖̻͈́̑̈́̌͒̑̔̅͑̚͝ ̷̧̧̡͎̬̙̝̱͕̘̺̬͎̩̲̞͕̀͐̂́͌̋̈́̃̎̊̋̑̎̒̄͋̈̃̀͒̈̍̔͜͝ͅͅ ̵̧̛̭͕̰̳̤̩̣̼̻̳̲̬̤̜͓͋͛̍̈͑̔̌͂̊͒̇͋̃̉̋̕͜͜͝͠͠͝ ̵̛̮̺̼̝̤͎̰͖͈̗͖͕͕͈̖͍̻͉̻̅̽͐͛̉̏̏̈́̐̂͑̂͛͝͝ͅ ̵̢̡̥̗̠̪̦̳̦̙͔̙͚̖̤̠̠͔͖͔̯͖͉͕̗̱̂̓̓ ̶̡̡̨̛̭͙͍̮̺̮͙̖̙̰̝͙̙̳͉̱͈̳̻̯̲̫̫̺̐͂͆̀̐͑̇̓̀͊́̿̎͋̌̽͌̀̍́̑̽̈́̕͝ ̴̛̻̩̯̩̼̻̰̭͉͈̟̝̠̆͗̽͑̐̄̈̆̾̃̒̂̚͝ ̷̧̧̛̛̛͖̜̬̙͓̯̙̥̮̰̠̤̺̄͛̐̌͊͋̔̄̐̿̐͋̏͒͛͘͠͠ ̶̛̤̯̻͍̗̜͉͎͉͍̺͂́̓͂̃̌̾̓͋͛̆̾̔́̀͐͘͝͝ ̸͓̙͔̱̥͙̣̪̆͆͌̉̎̓̀̂͗͆̿̇̈́͘͠ ̷̡͚̜̣̪̲̲̞̭̝̹̝̲̥̣̹̣̀͛̔̈́̆̀̒̂̃̋͒̽͑̐̎͐͑̈́̚͘̕͜͝͝͠ͅ ̸̢̡̛̭̰͎̠̯̻͍̪̦͙͈̹̖͙̳̼̞̬̹̤̯̑͌͂̊͌͒̃̊̽̓̑̓̇̽̕͘͝ͅ ̵̛̟̲̎̃̇̓̀̄̈́̀͂̅̇͊̑̚͘ ̸̧̨̝̺̘͓̖͕͓͎̀̈͑̾͑̈́͛́̽͝ ̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝ ̷̱̳̻̿͂͒̀͆͌̏͆́̀̆͂͑͐ ̴̛͍̣̈̄̓̂͠ ̵̣̘̮̜̘̜̩͇̰̰͈̭͖̘͉̣̠͙̝̣͎̯̣̗͔͑̂̓̋̏͋͜ ̷̧̢̝̗͉̟̤̹̼͖̬̩͎̺͉̤̣̩͗͊͋͌̄͋̂̇̉̆̒̅̈́̓͊͌̃̚͘͘̚͘̕͝͠ ̷̧̡̡̣̘̯̗̩̮̰͍̜͖̻̪̖̳̥̗͇̹̟͙̜̎̇͌̇͗͐͘͜ͅ ̴̺̟̩̞̘̟̯̟̥̟̹̦͔̺̗̑̀̽̀̄̈́̑̃́̈́͗̋̅͘͜͜͝ͅ ̸̡̨̛͓͚͚̣̲͉͔̖̩̮̻̠͌̀̓͋͗̉̒̓̆͋̐̔̽̽̈́̇̀́̌̏̃̕͝͝͝ ̴̡̬̯̗̟̺̜̳͇̝͔̭͉̯̖͍̥̜̬͉͖̈́̍ ̵̧̹͓͖͖̖̮́͐͋̈́̒͊̓̿͗̅͂̎̆̈́̈́̾̒̕͝ ̸͇̬̰͇̹̬͕͛̀͋͗̂̋̓̈́́̀̀̀̑͐̊̈́̒̈́̐̄̇́̚͘͘̚͜͝ ̴̡̨̺̹̘̤̠̗̙̬͆͑͌͊̆̐̆̐̈̏́͑͝ ̷͉̦̝̜̈́̽̊͑́̓͘ ̶̫̰̈́̕ ̵̵̡̧̧̧̨̨̛̛̛̪̮͚̦̝̫͎̻̫̳̼̥͚̣͚̤̯̬͕͔̯̪͚͍̲̗̼̹̦̦̩͉̬͔̬̞͆̈̆̆́̿̔̍̀́̀̈́́̅̑̈́̏̀͂̇͛̑̚͝͝ ̵̢̛̛͍̿͗̊͐͋̓͒̕͝͝ ̵̧̧̢͖͍̭̦͙̹͓̰̱͇̹͚͓̠͈̞̼̳̳̗͗̏̉͋̿͌̋̈́̈́̐̋̆̊̏̀͋̔̓̈́͊̃̍́̿̚̕͝ ̷̦̥͙͚̬̮̈̈́̐̋̒̾̒͗̅̆̈́̏̆̅͂̒̈́͗̕͠ ̶̨̱̠̝̦̻̟̭̭̝̣̙͍̲̖̥͎̥̲̝͚̉̿͂̎̂̿̂̒͛̍͑̈́̕͠ͅ ̶̡̡̭̝̭͖͍̩̜̺̗̘̼͖̻̤̹̗̬̖̬̟͚̖͌̌̔̂̉͊̊͆̀̈̒͑̎̈̒̀̚͘̚͜͝ͅ ̶̧̨̢̧̲̺̼̟̱̥̖̻̹͖͕̩̞̱̩͓̈́̾̿͆̓̚̚͜͝͝ͅͅ ̴̢͔̺̲̜͈̲̲̰̙͔̳̫̊͆̌́͌́̅̀̍̑̔͛͋̽̌̋͠͝ ̷͔̳̘̏̾̅̏͛̇͛̍̈͒͘ ̷̼̱̯̻̘̂̓̔̀̉̏̂̑͂̏̄̉̾̓͝ ̷̡̢͓̺̮̹̼̦̝̜̻̹̝̳͔̬͔̳̅̅̃̽̑͋̐̆̀̓̉̊̊̈͒͐̚͘͜͠ͅ ̸̧̨̡̭̯̲͕̲̩͔̘̖̱̙͖̱̞̆̒̒̑͐͆̌̓̀̀͑̊͛́͐̋͘͝ ̵̨̡̧͎̟͇͙̱̻̲̗̲̞̩̟̗̣͔͉́̌̾͑̿̀̂͊̆͗͆̄̓͝ͅ ̸̩͚̳̟̄̌͆̈́̅͠ ̷̨̪̻̭̱͈̝͖̞̱̩̬͚̆͒͌̉͊̀͌́̀͆͒̈̓̉̽͗́̃̈́͒͝ ̷̢̧̨͓̼̙̙͚̮̳̬̪̬̗̰̟̩̄ ̸̨̢̢̧̛̞͙̬̙͙̳̯̞̹͎̙͍̬̬̋̾̄́͐̅̑͌͊̀͝ ̸̨̘͙͚͎̦̤̞̣͉̺͎͍̫͓̇̌͊̅͊̄̌͆̿̈̃̄͂͛̒͋̐̇͐̂̂̔̐͜͝ ̶̜͓̲̲͎̉͆̏̅͒̔́̉̿̀͆͒́̍̉̿͒́͘̚̚͝ ̴̧̙̻̠̲͇̭̺͔̙̖̮̠͓̫̣̘̱̻̇̎͌͛͐̌͒̈́̓̇́͘̚ ̵̭̜̺͒̀̍̓̅͐̎͐͘͜͠͝ͅ ̶̨̯̹̫̞̬̠̪̳͔͉̥̖̭̩̼̮̭̖̻͍̳̜̭͖͑̈́̀̍͛̓̾̂̇̈́̈́͑͊̂͝͝ͅ ̸̞̣̮̪̳̠͔͚̯̟̣̍͂̔̉̐̌͘͝ͅ ̷̢̰͓̱͙̲̖̹̤̮͖̭͈̘̟͇͇̙͕̤̤̭͎̎̋́̈͌͑̍͗̾͘͜͝͝-̸̛̠͚̙̯̤̼̬͎͓̫̟̈́̌̀̐̐̆͗̅̌̇̉̍̐̑̎̇͐̔̈́͌͐̓͊̂̑͛̐̎̽̈́̒͝͠-̶̙̈́̐̓̑̐̊͊̆̃̃̇̅̚͠-̵̢̛͇͍̰̩̳̜̂͋̈́͆͌̏͑̄̇́̃̎̆̈́̚̚͝͝͝͝-̸̧̧̺̮̫͍̜̥̼̞̗̬͎͔̎͜-̷̢̧̪͙̭̜̣̫͎͇͚̽̒̓̈́̃̅͊̇̃̑͋͋̃̆̀͆͛̍̂̈͛́̔̈́́͐̀̈́̎͂͘͘͘͝͝-̶̨̡̧̛̛̲̗͎͙̋̋̾͋͆̐͆̒̄͛̌̋͐̀̏̕͝-̵̪̝̦͓̜͔̤͓̭̤̳̺͇̣̭̲̖̮͔͔͔̣͒͋̒͆͐̈́͒̀̃̀̋͜͝͠͠-̶̙͕̹̥̰̟͈̘̖͓̖̖͉͍̊̉̆̈́̎͋͆̾͌͝͠͝ͅ-̴̺̮̣̱̦̭͕̩̥̭̻̗͔̯̼̺̀̏̿͊̇̐́̊̀͂̕͜-̷̢̨̢̛̛͖̦͍̳͇̬̠͔̬͖͚̭̜͇̘̳͍̻̠̼̥͙̉̈̅́͗͒̈̄͊̆̊́͒͆̅͋̈́͌́̔̔͛̚͝͝ͅ-̵̧̢̡̨̦̗̰̖̣̖̱̪̭͖̬̣̱̤̾̅̈́̉̀̋̏̄̊͒͒́́̒͌̀͋̊̔́̓̍̚̚̚͠͝͝͠͠͝͝͝ͅͅ-̸̢̛̦̤̮̣͕̹̻̄̾͊͗͌̔̐͊͑̔̎̕͘̚-̵̧̡͖̦̙͓͈̹̬̮̹̰͓̼̫̓̐̑̓̃́̅̌̀̍̌͐͊̇̍̿̈́͂̎͌͊̍͌̈́̚̚͜͝-̶̡̖̥͇͔̬͙̔́͜-̴̢̢̡̥͍͎͉̦̗̻͓̘̯̠̗̝̙̻̠̬̭͖͕͓̝̻̐̓̇͆͜-̵̨̨̨̝̹͕͖̠̮̱̜̔̂́̎͋͐̿͆̈́̾̾̾̍͑͑̽̋̈́̈̈̍̀͐͋͒̀̕͠-̷̧̛̛̛̦͚̘̯̝̣̫͕̼̹̲͍͉̫̮̗̫̰̞̜̝̰̝̫̳͖͚̱̗̈́͛̆̉̊̎̈́͒͌̍͌͌̇̅͂͆̓̿̀̇̈͊́̂̾̎̀͒̇̄͗͠-̸̢̖̠͉͚̫̱͖̝͎̩͔̜̜̘̻̣͇͙̹͇̄̋͗̋̀͋͛̎̿̽̉̈́͑̆̎̋͛̂̈̕͝͠͝͠͠ ̶̢̧̥͔̱͍̹͙̘̰̱͍̗͕̤̭̩͎̀ ̶̧̢̡͉̮̠͔͈̻̠̙̩̩̱̤̬͙̖̖̽͒̀̽͌́̈́̋͒ ̴̢̡̡̩͖͇̺̫͚̟̦̜̗̱̞̲͙̣̲̐́̎̉͜ ̷̧̢̢̡̧̺͉̼̪͇̗̱̬̰͍̜̲̣̗͎͔̮̱̱̭̜̇̀̈́̿̄̔̎͂̈̊̿̄͛̿̕͘͜͝ ̵̧̘̩͕͕̜͉̥̦̀̌̐̑ ̵̛͖̗̣̫̝͖͉͉̤̗̺̙͇̪̗͎͕͔͛͑̀̊̇̓̽̍͒͒͂̔̈̔͌̿̕̕͝ͅ ̷̡̨͈̖̥͖͎̻̼͔̫͕̖̬̝͉͖͉̤̣͎̠̲̩̲̂̀͋̐́̉́͑̅͋̑͑̅̈́͋͌͘͜ͅ ̵̢̡̡̙̻̯̘͙̙͖̜͍̲͈͍͉͋̈́̉̂́̾͝͝ͅ ̴̨̠̹̯̪͚̫͓͈̼̫̝͎̀͜͜͝ ̴̨̛̘̤̙͓̠̰̥̤̭̞́͗̉̕̚̕ ̵͈̈́͌̏̆̒͌̐̇̒̇̂̃̋ ̴̧̧̖͕̙͙͎̳̲͖͓̼̼̙̦͕̰̪̠͉͍̳̙̫̽̽͛̏ ̷̢̢̜̩̺̰͍̭̟̙̤͚̺̫̰͖̥͖͖̮̜̔̊͗̃̔̀̇͛̓̀̓̎͋̆̓̕͜͝ ̶̨̣̰̪͍̹̟̬̭̳̖̬̮̠̤͚̗̬̣̖̪̟̮͕̥̪͗ ̸̪͍̱͇̘̬̮͇̘͎̰̣̯͖̰̥̝̥̺͇̟̭̘̎̏̾͂̊͠͝ ̵̧̡̰͚̻͚̮͇̫̭̪̩͎̬̤̙̯̣̝̰͕̩̬̊͝ͅ ̷̨̨̤͓̫̖̜̗͎͚̤͙͙̪̼̰̜̙̙̗̬̯̞̞̈͂͌̀̀͋̂̃̎̔͂̚̚͝ ̴̧͔̳̳̈͑́̽̒̔̏̑͋͆̏͊̾́̀̾̂̈́̀̽̏̊͘͘͜ ̷̨̖̜̻̻̣̠̻̖͖̝̼̭̞̼̘̱̍͆͌̔̑̍̋̈́̓͐̍͒̎͂̉͋̏̋̒̇̉̓͘͘̚͝ ̷̡̡̡̥͖̳̖̼̭̮̺̗͙̞̩̳͉̮̟͙̲͌̈́̆̃̔̔̽̊́͊̈̀̂́ͅͅͅ ̷̢̡̡̧̜̜̲̺̯̱̘̞̺̜̝̲̯̯̣̗͖̫̀̈̎̆̅̊͗͐̑̑̚̚ ̶̩͉͇̠͓̰̜͓̻̉̀͐̀̓̾̀̈́̈́̋̔̐̀͌̃̌̒͂͒ ̷̧̙̥̘͔͓͈͈̯̼̦̦̳̻̺͓͍͇̣́̂̈́̄͊͝ ̶̛͓̜̺͔̫̪̗͐̏̌͌̇͗͌͐̽́͌̔͆͗̌̌̓̑̏͑͆͛́͘͠ ̷̧̥̰̞̟̼̻̜̬̗̭̱̹̩͎͕̖͇̤͕̖̠̱͚̥͉̌̃̃̓̒͂̾̃̒̏͑̿̄̓́͛̊̎͌̚͘͝͠ͅ ̸͉̲͈͔̥̜̫̪̝̱̟̎͑̒̀͗͌͋̅̄̈́̉̀̅̒̚͝ ̴̢̥̑̃̓͌̈́̍̂͛͛͐͋̐̕͘͝ ̵͖͈̫̱̰͎͉̯̜͚̼͉̣̤́́̃͊̓͛̿̋̅͘ͅͅͅ ̸̧̡̲͉̠̝̗͎̙̣̰̍͐̂̉̌̂͑̓̓̒̄̉̔̐͋͜͝

-̸͙͇͈̫̭̌̔̉͆̎͑̽̇͝͝͠-̸͎͕͔͎͕͚̰̬̫͚̤͉̌̈̍͆̔͑͆͐͆-̶͉̳̜̍̈́͐͐̑̍̽͊̀̓̒͘͝-̷͚͔̪̜̊̎̐͊̌͐̕͝ͅͅ           -̵̧̧̢̣̦̬͔̪̹̜͍͕͍̤̃̓̔̏̇̒͐̈́͂͑͠-̶̟̦͔̝̬̹̙̥̄̐̍͋͘͠-̷̧̛͎̻͔̭͔̗̯̲̟̑͑̿͘͘-̴̨͎͕̖̳̑̇-̶̠̂͠-̶̥̮͙̮͚͎͖̉̆̈́͌̇̾̔̽̆̈̂̇̚-̵̨̫̬̖̮̜̑̏͆̾́-̷̼̪̉   -̴̹̰̼̳͖̥̼̅̄̆͆͌̓͌͗́́̅̏̄-̷̗̤͎̹̼̳̮͇̟̙̯̈́̂̄̉͋̓̔̊͌̆̚-̵̨͎͚̥̝̣̙̇̀̀͛̾̾̽͒̇̀͛͒̚-̴̛̺̺̳̜̫̍̈́͛̂̔̀̽̀͌͝-̵̨̛̲͓̙̱͕͍̲̜̜̜̍̏̇̒̿͑̌̇̕̕͝͝͝-̸̛͖͕̞͍̗̯̟͂̑̓̈́͒̈́̉̐̉͆̕͘͘ͅ-̵̦̩͎̹̦̟̅-̸͎̙̩̩̬͛̉̏̎̂͂͒͘̕        -̴̧̠̯̳̣̬͔͍̻̮̙̉̋͐̄͐̎͌͂̇͗̓͝͝-̵̛͎̻̭̯̥̪̯̩͇̮̈́̏̋͂͑̏́̈̾̚͝-̴̝̬̓-̵̡̡̢̛̦͇̮̟͕̝̭͙͂̃̃̕-̷̨̢̛̠̩̝̱̮̠̺̳̎͐̿̐͑̊͌̀-̷̮̮̝̥̥͇̫̤̽͑̅̔̀̂̀͆̇̿̒̅̔̈́-̴̢̟͇̅̏-̵̺̹͂̀̿̊̋̎̉͋̅̅͌͘-̴̢̛͖͈̳̬͖̝̤͚̼͙̪̫͝-̷͇̭̭̫̞͛͑͑͑̿̽̉͛̈̋̈́́̌̚͜͜-̴̨̧̘̞͚̖̣̮̗͖͖̃̔̃͝ͅ-̴̦͑̏̇̈́̇̒̆̍͝-̶̫̒̇̍̊̿͂͛̆̊̾-̵̖̫͔̙͉͉̒͗̄̀͜-̸̡̳̯̺̼̘̳͖̠̞̲̬̆̃̂̀͑̿̎̒̉̉̕̕͜-̵͙͉̥̮̗̩̰̖͍̰̽̌̅͊̍̑̓̎͆̅͌͗͝͝ͅ           -̷̧̢̡̛͓̥̘̖̪̼̹̫̬̦̲̆̅̿̓͗͝-̶̨̧̹̣͚̈́̓͌̿̔̎̉̏̌-̴̡̹̪̘̠̩͙̪̐͂̌̀̎̀̎̓͝

A̷̢̋̒l̴r̶ight I'm co̶o̸l̸ now. I'm cool. 

I pulled it back together. At least I think so?

Things got a bit weird for a little while back there, but I got maybe half an hour or so of yelling out of my system and now I'm completely back to normal. 

We all lose it a little bit from time to time, but it's fine. Happens to all of us. Even me, and e̸v̴e̵n̴ R̸a̷̛ͅg̸̍̏͜͜-̴͇̗̀́-

N̵̻̓̆ope, not emotionally ready to finish that sentence just yet. But still, I'm cool. For right now, at least.

Cool. Cool. Cool.

But I'm only cool because I managed to yell long enough that I stopped thinking about it. I forgot what happened today. Temporarily.

And I have to think about it. This is, without a doubt, too big to fit in the “don't think about it” bin. I’m going to end up thinking about it whether I want to or not. And when I do think about it again, I have to make sure I think about it right so that what just happened to me doesn’t repeat. Or get worse, because it can definitely get worse. I'm practically standing in a minefield. A mind minefield. A mind field. God I'm rambling. Stalling. The point I don’t want to get to is this: if my thoughts wander the wrong way at a time like this I'm pretty sure we all know w̴h̵a̸t̵ m̷̪̏i̵̧͗g̶̢͐h̴̠͒ṱ̸̊ h̶͚̃á̸͖p̷͎͗p̷̠̈e̴͇͝n̸̨͂ h̷e̶r̷e̵, don't have to say it, so… easy does it. Because it has to be done. Can't get out of a minefield standing still, and I can’t stay here forever. So let's move carefully.

Let's use the method that’s been working for me the past few weeks or so. Repeating the story back to myself. My “dear diary” or whoever it is I’ve been pretending to talk to these days. It helps me think things through in a nice and safe, nice and detached way. More than anything I need that now.

So here it is.

Dear diary… something happened with R̶a̸g̴a̶th̶a̸ today.

No, she’s not a̵̖̔b̵s̴̢͋t̶̬̂r̸̼̅- y-you know, the ‘A̷̺̕’ word. She’s fine. Keeping it together the Ragatha way, I don’t know why I got so worked up. Actually that’s a lie, I know ex̴a̴c̴̨̾t̵̛̲l̴̮͆ý̶͎ ̴̣̇w̷̳̄h̷̼̏a̶t about it winds me up, but I shouldn’t have let myself get so worked up. Because after all Ragatha’s back to doing fine now, right? Just fine.

After all she’s the one that helps everyone else, it’s not like she’d ever be the ô̵͖n̸̟̋e̷̦̔ n̸͇̍̏͠ẹ̷̟̿͠e̵̗̩̣̽̀d̵̢͈̟͌i̷͔̠̿̿͜n̷̠̯͊͝ͅg̸͂̌̑͜ ̶̙̄̽̂̀̈́̈̍͝͝h̴͙̗̺͚̣̱̱̘̜̜͒͋́e̸͕̩͇̠̤͈̺̰͈̍̓͂͆̚̚͜͝ͅļ̸͙͉̯̜̬̪̪͍̘̦̉́͒̊̈́̇͊̈̽́̔̚̕̚͝-̴̢̛̱̫̬̮͚͙̘̫̯̭̻̰̭̇̆̀͜

O̷̡̺̼̘̙̾ẇ̴̺́͑͒!̷̯̔͑̍̏̿͝ O̸̝̙̩̅̓w̸̜̗͂͜ŏ̴̠̭͑w̴̨̼͑͝ȯ̶̹̽w̵̼͗̔ o-o̷k̵ay, la̴̖͐n̸̠̄d̴̬̓mine, landmine! Don't think about it. Just grazed me. Keep going.

Just talk through the day, keep moving.

For some background, things have been good lately. Well, not good, but as good as they get in here. At least for me. Good enough that I'm only now realizing that, for the past several adventures, I haven't felt the urge to do any of my weird journal entry roleplay. The thing I'm doing right now. Apparently I only need it when I’m sort of a mess. But things have actually been kind of fun, Caine’s been really knocking it out of the park with the storylines. Darker. More dramatic. Really entertaining stuff to watch. Seemingly less so to actually experience though, as they don’t seem to be having as much fun as I am. I guess I wasn’t the one having to nearly drown (or at least pretend-drown) in the icy waters of a spooky pirate cave, but again, much more exciting to watch than most previous stories.

I was Ragatha and Pomni for these, mostly. Ragatha at first (obviously), but… being Pomni has an interesting appeal. Not because of Pomni herself (obviously), but the fact that she's somehow maintained her position as the main person that Ragatha talks to. That means when I look out of Pomni’s eyes, I keep getting to see her looking back at me. I get to watch her talk to me, like she knows I'm there in front of her. Still an amazing feeling.

So how, if I was watching those two almost the entire time, did I miss it? What did Pomni do to her to dig her hooks in? How did she trip up the graceful stride that Ragatha has carried herself with for years? How did she make it so that Ragatha n̵̜̎e̷̯̿e̷̻̎d̵͔́s̷̖͑ ̴̦͝s̵̛̝ơ̶͉m̷̟͝e̵̫̋ó̴̡̻̳̮̻͝n̵͙̬̖̤̞̖̤͎̍̓-̶̨̩͉̺̙̼͇̫̃͑͑̌͝-

Ö̶̧̲̙̱̥́͑̋̂̇̇̂̔o̶f̵.̸ Noted. Whatever I was just thinking about (and will not recall) was the spiky subject. Or at least one of its spurs. Don't think. Keep going.

It was another fun one today, mainly due to the frantic pace of it all. A rapidfire lightning round by Caine of everything from the suggestion box. Poaching, politics, anime, a bar scene where everyone talked about ṫ̴̮h̷̖̊i̶̽ͅṇ̵̋g̷̗̾s̴̔ͅ ̴̺͆t̷̞́h̵̪̉e̶̡͒y̷̲͋ ̶̩̄s̵̘͛h̷̠̽o̶͂͜ů̶̥l̷̻͒d̵͚̈n̵͇͛'̸̭͂t̶͙̋, and finally a baseball game against everyone’s evil clones! That last one was my favorite actually, I think I prefer "evil" Pomni quite a bit to the real one. I wonder if the other team had an evil version of me spectating them. Probably not, but it's fun to imagine. Today's adventures were... fun.

But none of that was what was important today. No, what really happened today was much subtler.

Jax was being Jax, a [*%$?], but that’s to be expected. His childish antics are sort of just background noise at this point. This unpleasant buzz that reminds us we’re all still alive. Nothing new about it. Today’s attempt at getting the rise out of people mainly centered around a strange play at trying to befriend Pomni of all people in some convoluted, childish dig at Ragatha. Trying to make her jealous? Making her feel like he's "stealing" her friend away? There’s no reason it should have affected her at all. But… I think no one else saw it, I think only someone who knows Ragatha like I do could have noticed, someone who watches her as closely as I do. But I saw it. It… ś̷̳̖h̷̯̱̕e̴̞̾̄…

.̷.̷̱́͝.̶̝͐̔s̴̯̦͌h̸̳̜̾̒ě̶̱.̴̬͐.̶̡͌.̷

She’s fine.

It weirded her out a little bit, seeing Pomni suddenly start acting all clingy to the biggest jerk in the circus. That’s it. She was confused by the unexpected nature of it. Concerned for Pomni’s sake. That has to be it. It just made her feel off for a few minutes. That’s it. Like she'd care if Pomni found someone else to dump her problems on, just lightens Ragatha's load. And see? Talking through it, there's no reason it should be a big deal, right? No big fights. No breakdowns. No a̷b̷s̵t̵̨͝r̶̜̄a̸̬͋c̶̹̕t̷͇̓i̴o̷n̴s̶. Why should Ragatha having one slightly off day make me fall to pieces?

Except there's still the glaring reason why that is, isn’t there? One I've been avoiding.

Power through it. I have to.

Because that's not what Ragatha was feeling. I know her too well. I know what she was feeling.

J̵͈̓e̸͙͂a̸͍͝l̶͖̇ŏ̷̢u̶̘̇s̶̯̏y̷̬͛.̵͇͊ ̵̿ͅẢ̴̙b̵̖̄a̶͎͝n̶͇̏d̸̺̑ö̸̥́n̸̰͋m̵͕͐e̸͖͝ṋ̴̎t̴̺̑.̷̬͠ Towards ẖ̷́e̷̮̔r̴̛̼.̶͈̿

F̵e̵e̵l̶i̸n̴g̷s̶ ̶t̵h̷a̵t̶ ̵P̸̟͝ő̷͉̳n̶̬̾̽̽m̴̥̈́i̴͈̽̑̆ ̵m̸a̴d̴e̶ ̶h̶e̶r̸ ̸f̶e̷e̵l̶.̵

And what does it mean for someone as flawed and alone as me if sometimes, even R̴̨͛a̶̯͑g̴̞̀a̸̧̎t̸͚̓h̶̠̔a̷̟͋ c̵̡͎̙̀̌̂́̐͝͝ą̵̞͖͇͚̳̪̜͋̄͂̎̉͌̕ņ̵̥̰̮̜̮̺̯͆̃̋̀̎͑͝͝ͅ ̴̰̦̎́̽͋̃̏͘f̸̢̗̤͖̺͉͖̳̅͌̉̒͆̐̉è̶̡̨͎̩͍̖̩̿ė̵̛͕͎̼̱̑̄͋̀l̶̞̯̩̒͛̿̕͠ ̷̨̹̐̾̅̀̀̿͐ḻ̶͙͒̊͋̈́ö̵͓͎̭̝̩̇̒͋̏n̶̨̛̟̘͉̱͓̹͈͋̿e̴͇͖̔͊͊̑͘͝l̶͈̩̫̥̾̂̌́y̶̛͍̘̱̣͚̖̺̫͚͗͆̓̎͋.̵̗̊̀.̴͙̻̊͗.̸̥͝ ̸̥͖̅͆̏i̷̡̫̰̘̼̭̳͉̔̌͌̈́̍̆͘f̶̢̣͍̦̝̼͓̃̒͆̒̂̒̾͊̓ͅ ̷̢͉͍̙̟̟͇͍̓̃̿̽̄ͅĕ̸͕̙͈̗̙͐̉̿̀͗̚͝͝v̶̘̪̹̰̜̳̞̯̐̀̒͗͜e̴̙͍̎̅ń̵͕̥͎̹̲̰͔̠̎̽̊̓̿͋͠ ̶̪͕̜͇̯̘̆̇s̸͍̆̾̑ḥ̴̳͍̤͍̱̥̅̐͆͜e̸̟͆̈̒̾͐̾̀ ̵͙̑̌͋̉̿ǹ̴̛̬̝̲̙̪̭̜͚͓̒́̍̈́e̷̜͖͎̜̯̺̯̳̙͚̺̯͐͌̌̄̀̕͘e̷̻̭̩̙̻̯͓͈̰͓̖̮͝ḑ̵̨͉͙̟̩̪̯͖̗̆͒͆̾̑̀̄s̴̨̡̤̼̫̰̣͎̳̯̬̥͎͔͛̇̆̐̍͋͆́̃̓̐̚͘ ̷̜͔͖̘̳̘̎́͐͂͌͋͜-̶͙̟͔̘͇̝͋͌͌ͅ

[̵̨̡͎̗̹̯̜̤͍̫̭̻̤͇̼̭̻̗̆̂͐͌̀̚̕͜͜ͅͅ@̶̧̨̡̠̳̠̪̜̥̺̬̲̩̺̥̱̖͓̤̪̳̼̈́̀̅̚ͅ!̶̧̤̞̫̫̼̲̮̣͓̯̖̩̘̙̮̞̺̖̤̯̘͍͗͝ͅ#̷͒̈́̄̓͌͛̑͋̊̆̌́̽̓̾͘͝͠&̷̢̨̛̥̟̰̤̱̩̫̬̦̝̝͚̾́͌͊̆̓̔̀͝]̴̦̊̅̏̈̅͋̂̾̉!̸̨̢̨̡̛̞̼̙̦͔̜̱̟̦̞̠̦͖̙̘̇̽͐̇̉̆́̾́́͋̊͌̾͑͌̓̐͘͠͝!̸̧̨̖̝̱̯̞̬͖̦̠̺͔̱̺͖͚͆͌̿̀͆́̉̇̚!̸̗̘̦̼̄̊͆̃̍̐̋̉́̅̊̄̍͒̑̃̈͆̄̅͘͘̚͠

̸̧̨̱͚̭̤͎̖͙̳̳͈̖̏̎̋͒͛̈́͐ͅ

[̶̧̗̓̀̾$̸̼̞͖̂͛͑%̴͈̍̈́ͅ@̴̩̈́#̴̛̳̮̈́]̵̤͋͑̚ ̶̮̖̤̞͗[̷̿ͅ*̵̤̭͚͝&̶̜̝̓̆͛@̷̼̪̠̘̋̐͆͝!̴͔͊̿̌́]̶̦̲͈̻̑ i̸̯̩̘̋͝n̷͙̄g̵̮͗ͅ ̷̖͔͆[̴͖͉̭̇̾̉?̸̫͘#̴̰̼̫͊͂̓̄͜*̷̜̦̍̈̍!̵͎̗̀]̴̹̑͝!̷̰͈̳͑

T̵̳̦̭̖͐̔̓ḫ̷̊͆a̶̝͈̼̒͗t̸̢͉̝̄͜͝ ̷͖̘̯́͠Ḣ̴͕U̸̲̪͆̅̾R̷̬͓̮̳̂T̴̝͘S̴͚̳̹̼̈̕!̵͍͓̂

Y̵̗͕̘̺̋́̓̐ê̶̘p̶͖͒, oką̸̇y, still feels like touching a hot stove with my brain. Ow.

I’m used to the bad thoughts doing emotional damage but this… it’s physical now with this. They’ve got some bite to ‘em. And pain was exciting the first time back when it was Kinger bashing my face in at the manor but man , I gotta say pain’s very quickly losing its novelty appeal.

And it's not just pain, there's a pull to it. A gravity. And...

I̷ ̴k̸͓̈́n̷̪̿o̷̤̓w̵̺͠ ̵w̸h̷a̶t̵ ̸t̸h̵a̸t̵ ̴p̸u̷l̷l̶ ̷i̵s̴.̷.̷.̴

NO! 

Abort! Retreat! I'm stopping all this right now. I'm messing with thoughts that are way too dangerous for this place. Shouldn't have even started. Stupid.

Scrap it. Scrap all of it!

And so... now what? I guess talking through the day didn't help me safely sneak up on the idea like it usually does, so I'm out of ideas. [%&#$] it. I'm just going to have to cram that whole topic in the “don't think about it” bin and give it a few good stomps. It's not gonna be easy, I'm not even sure it's possible, but that seems like my only recourse now. Avoid both Pomni and Ragatha for a few adventures, probably Jax to be safe, and forget. It’ll blow over without me needing to watch, just as soon as Jax gets bored with the whole thing and Pomni realizes her sick little game accomplishes nothing.

Zooble. Zooble’s safe. They never do anything. I'll stick with Zooble.

Today's just one of the days I discard, simple as that. I've done it before. It's part of why daydreaming as much as I do is a useful tool. See, when my mind is full of a bunch of daydreams and hypotheticals, vividly imagined best and worst case scenarios, it's easy to take the real memories, the poisonous ones, and stash them away all mixed in with th-

user0026

…H…Hello…?

user001E

What the- Don't recognize that voice. A new NPC? Don’t tell me Caine is rolling out another storyline this fast. What was I talking about again? How if I mix the bad memories... with daydreams, it... Whatever, doesn't matter.

Zooble! Sounds like Caine's got a new story to play through! I know you hate 'em but get up! It’ll be a nice distraction!

user0026

…I'm sorry, I-I don't understand.

Help me… help me I can't feel…f…

user001E

Hey Zooble! 

…of course you didn’t hear it. And if you did, you wouldn’t care. Right.

BACK! BACK! BACK!

Jax you heard that voice right? No?

NEXT! NEXT!

Gangle? You? No? Nothing?

user0026

I-If anyone can hear me, I need help! 

I'm… floating.

user001E

Sounds like it's coming from everywhere.

user0026

I can't feel anything, but I see…

Well I'm looking down on a…

well, a purple bunny man in a colorful room?

I hear… talking.

I… I don't really… hnng…

user001E

Jax!

BACK! BACK!

Jax! It's you! She's talking about you, bunny man! Not even gonna look up for the spooky ghost voice echoing through the circus?

user0026

A-Am I dead?

user001E

C’mon Jax, I know you normally don't go for Caine’s games when they don’t involve violence, but this one sounds like a pretty creepy mystery.

user0026

Please, whoever's talking, I…

I don't understand what you're saying.

 Who's Jack? Cane games?

 Can you hear me!?

user001E

…wait.

user0026

…hello?

user001E

…wait wait no wait wait wait…

user0026

Um, okay?

user001E

Shhh shh shh shut up…

I'm going to try asking it a question. A specific one. And it's not going to answer. Because this has to be a coincidence. There's literally no way it answers. But I might as well try, so here goes nothing…

If you can hear me…

…what’s your favorite fruit?

user0026

…peaches?

user001E

Holy [&$@$]ing [@#$&] she [*$?@]ing heard me! [$!?*#$@&] [#@!?&#] [&#$] she actually [*$?@]ing answered holy [&$@$]!

user0026

I’m sorry! I’m sorry!

P-Please stop yelling! I’m sorry!

Chapter Text

user001E

New arrival today. At least it certainly seems that way. 

And to be perfectly clear, this one’s not just a hypothetical or a wishful fiction I'm losing myself in. She's here.

She arrived maybe an hour or two ago, and she’s here. Right now. Listening.

user0026

H-Hello!

user001E

No. I told you, you don't talk during these. These are sacred spaces for me to reflect, one of my methods, and it throws the whole thing off if you talk. You remember what I told you about methods? How important they are in here? Just- just stay quiet for a bit let me do this, please.

…

Okay, continuing, the new arrival! I have two main theories about her.

Theory one: the digital circus now has its second spectator. Simple. She's here for the same reason I'm here, whatever that reason may be. Seems to be the much more likely theory.

Theory two: my psyche got pushed well beyond the breaking point, fracturing my mind and suddenly giving me some sort of extremely vivid imaginary friend. Less likely than theory one in my opinion, but still very possible. I think. I’m not a psychologist (at least I don't remember being one), so I don't know whether that's a real thing or just a movie thing. And regardless, maybe it's a Digital Circus thing. Maybe I partially abstracted and went through some sort of… mitosis. Seems far fetched but the fact that it happened on the day it did is very suspicious timing don't you think?

user0026

What?

user001E

You know what? Don't think about it. Doesn't actually matter which theory is true. The most likely answer is she's human, like me. That's the safe assumption too, always good to err on the side of not solipsism. And it's all functionally, empirically the same to me, right? So I might as well pretend I'm certain she's real. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth (whatever that expression means).

Think like Ragatha, focus on the positives. This opens up the possibility for conversation. Real conversation. Someone I can talk to who will actually talk back.

user0026

How… How long have you been-

user001E

No. Quiet. Not yet. I'm still recounting here. God where was I?

Things were a little… hectic at first when she arrived. Even more so than usual when someone shows up. It couldn't have happened on a worse day. After that Ragatha business, I wasn't entirely stable. I’ll admit I freaked out a little bit, mostly got a little too excited trying out an actual back-and-forth dialogue, which freaked her out in return.

user0026

…y…yeah…

user001E

Funny enough, there was actually a time where I had a whole orientation speech planned out for this exact circumstance, for the off chance a new spectator like me arrived. It was fun to think about and I went over it dozens of times. Unfortunately it's been so long since I've even considered the possibility that I completely forgot how it went. It's a real shame I’ve never been able to write anything down. 

And so, today I just had to sort of wing it. 

I've definitely come to learn that I am not good at winging things.

Long story short I didn't quite put things as delicately as I probably should have, sort of blurted everything out at once, came on a little strong with my eagerness to have someone to talk to, got a little annoyed that she wasn't saying the right things. She kept saying New Girl things. Relations broke down. She started crying. But luckily all those unpleasant sobbing noises reminded me of just what she needed. Or rather, who she needed. And so, I finally got to do my first official Ragatha with an audience, saying everything the way she would. Comforting. Reassuring. Calm and to-the-point explanations. And I have to say I think I did a pretty excellent job.

user0026

 And I… really did appreciate it.

Even with that, um, weird voice you did.

user001E

If I didn't do the voice it wouldn't be Ragatha! Don't criticize things you don't even understand yet, New Girl!

user0026

S-Sorry, sorry.

user001E

No, wait, actually I'm sorry. I'm not supposed to call you New Girl, I learned that lesson already and I am not backsliding. We're using names only from now on, right?

user0026

Right, yeah! You asked me to c-

user001E

I've requested to have her call me ‘Speck’ with the qualification that it is strictly a working title and not set in stone as the name I'm going to keep going forward. Only a temporary measure borne out of necessity.

Meanwhile she’s already gone with-

user0026

Peaches!

user001E

Yep. That.

And this is despite how much I warned her of how important a name is, how it's something that sticks forever and requires a lot of thought, consideration, and iteration, that's what she goes and picks. A cheap reference to our first interaction. Newbies, right?

user0026

Right.

user001E

Rhetorical.

user0026

I… I'll just stop talking again.

user001E

Please. You're really messing with my flow here. My initial excitement is very quickly being replaced with the gravity of the situation. How much of a change this is going to be, with her just… present all the time.

user0026

Sorry, I know you don't want me to talk for now but… I just feel so invisible when I'm not talking, you know? Like I gotta keep talking to exist. This is such a weird dream…

user001E

Oh god, the “dream” thing again. Why do the new people always say it's a dream? It's like they all get handed the same script. Is this a dream? Am I dead? How do we get out? Not a single original thought. I'm stuck with Pomni 2.0 over here (with a dash of Gangle) and I can't even hide from this one. Jesus.

user0026

…s …sorry…

user001E

But… on second thought, for better or worse, Pomni’s already quite different than she was when she showed up, isn't she?

user0026

I don't know who Pom-

user001E

Okay, Peaches, unless I address you by name, how about you just assume every question is rhetorical, alright?

user0026

Mhm.

user001E

Anyway, Pomni. Even if Ponmi was New Girl for a while, and everything that came with it, didn't she develop into her own identity in no time? After… what was it, a couple weeks tops? Like Zooble before her, or Gangle before them? …Jax? Actually, none of those are good examples of people who turned out alright. Especially Pomni considering the recent b̵u̸s̸̹̀ī̸͜n̸̞̓e̵s̵s̴ that I'm n̴o̸t̴ ̶͉̄ṭ̸̾h̶̨̒i̸̤̿n̵̦̐k̸͜͝ï̴̮n̵̨̑ḡ̵͓ ̴̠͝ä̶̝́b̸̢̿o̸̳͌u̷t̷.

But for the first time in my life the ball’s in my court. I’m responsible for how she turns out when the New Girl Syndrome fades.

Peaches here just needs to get it all out of her system, right? All the annoying New Girl-isms. Some time to adjust. Some guidance. That's what Ragatha would say at least. And even if Ragatha-like thinking is̸n̷'̷t̶ a̸s im̴p̷e̷n̴e̴t̵r̸a̶b̷l̴e̵ as I thought it was, it's still my best option to approach this situation. The way she would handle things. And she'd let “Peaches” here work through this at her own pace. She'd guide her. Mold her into an ideal citizen of this digital world. And after Peaches gets over this initial rough patch and stops being so pitiful, after I train her a bit, I'll have what I've always wanted, someone I can have an actual conversation with! No pretending needed!

And imagine that! After she gets to know everyone else, I could probably convince her to play the part of other people too. We could act out whole scenes together! We could take turns pretending to meet Jax for the first time while the other one plays the role! Or Ragatha! I mean she won’t be as good as me but with some practice maybe she’ll be passable.

I just have to be her Ragatha first. Without even doing the voice.

user0026

S-Sorry but… the way you're talking about me…

You know I can actually still hear all of this, right?

user001E

I know.

user0026

Oh.

user001E

Actually, you know what? Since you can't seem to keep yourself from stomping all over my monologue, and even the fact you're listening in is kind of ruining it for me, let's give it a shot. Why don't you try one?

user0026

Try what?

user001E

A monologue. A report. A journal entry. Whatever this is, I'm not sure what to call it. Just pretend it's your job to tell someone all about what's happened. Pretend it's really important that they know everything .

user0026

…who am I telling?

user001E

Nobody. Yourself. Me. Anybody who might be able to somehow hear it. The “who” part isn't important. Just describe everything that's happened so far so you can wrap your head around it.

user0026

I think you covered most of it.

user001E

Oh come on, you can do better than that! Just start at the beginning.

user0026

B-But I'm mostly just gonna be repeating-

user001E

That's fine. Go.

user0026

Okay. Okay, um, so… f-first thing I remember, I was suddenly in this room. A small, really bright and colorful room, w-with this purple bunny man…thing sitting on a bed below me. It kind of felt like waking up but… more sudden. Like, I wasn't anywhere and then suddenly I was here . I tried to look around and I realized I was floating. I couldn't see my hands, couldn't feel them, couldn't feel anything.

I was starting to get scared, so I tried to call out to the bunny man, I-I was terrified that maybe I wouldn't even have a voice but luckily I did, but… he didn't seem to be able to hear me at all. But someone else could…

This… other voice had been talking in the background the whole time, but what they were saying made no sense. Until suddenly I realized they were talking about me. They asked me what my favorite fruit is for some reason, a-and when I answered they just started screaming and shouting a-and I was so scared...

user001E

I was excited, okay? You don't have to make it sound like I was some sort of psycho.

user0026

R-Right, sorry. Well, um, Speck- the voice -started asking me question after question about who I was, what I felt, if I was real, what I remembered, and I just… it made me realize that I could hardly remember anything about myself, e-even how I got here, and I just kept getting more scared and- and every time I'd ask them something they'd call me a ‘newbie’ and get annoyed, then give an answer that made no sense like “No you don't have a body anymore” or “This isn’t a dream this is your real world now” o-or “No, there's no way out of here, shut up” a-and I just… I j… just…

…I…couldn't…

user001E

Okay but talk about the next part where, after you started crying, all of my years of practice and dedication playing the part of Ragatha culminated together to perfectly save the day in a cathartic display of how much I've grown.

user0026

Right, o-okay.

Well, Speck suddenly started doing a different voice, softer and gentler. I wasn't sure if maybe they were expecting me to believe it was suddenly a different person or something, because it was clearly still them, but now they were acting much calmer and nicer so I… wasn't gonna complain. They started answering all of my questions, gently this time. They told me that I'm in some sort of kids’ game, that I'm just going to be stuck watching for a while, b-but that it's okay, because nothing can hurt me here. They told me that I exist, and I’m alive, a-and that there's a life for me and even some fun to be had here as long as I take it one day at a time. Oh! They said something I really liked, it was… “you don't have to figure everything out today, just figure out how to get through today,” a-and that despite everything they're so glad to be able to meet me…

user001E

I mean she's underselling it, but even then, pretty spot-on Ragatha impression, right?

user0026

I still don't know who that is.

user001E

Wasn't talking to you.

user0026

O…Okay?

…

Anyway I… a-and please don't be mad at me for saying this, Speck, but I could sort of tell they were faking? With that weird forced gentle voice. Like they didn't really mean it. A-And maybe they really did mean it but that's how it sounded. But it… it still really did help a lot.

I asked them to go back to their normal voice and we talked a bit more, about how things work here. Th-They told me I need to develop a “method” or two to deal with living here, that I'd eventually find my own and then I’d be less “unbearable”. Then they said one of their methods was listing out everything that had happened that day. They told me to stay quiet for a bit so they could do it, and… um… yeah.

Then it was now.

And I still don't really know what's going on, o-or how I get back to my body, or whether or not this is real, or um…

…

…h…how was that?

user001E

…you'll get better.

user0026

Oh.

user001E

Now, I think we've seen just about enough of Jax sitting around scratching his butt, don'tcha think? How about I show you how to move around the player list, get you introduced to everyone? 

Oh! I can even roleplay their parts for you so it's like you're really meeting them, it'll be fun.

Sound good?

user0026

Yeah. Sounds good.

Chapter Text

user001E

So it's pretty simple, just clearly and singularly declare ”NEXT!” or “BACK!”, either in your mind or out loud (but out loud makes it easier), and it happens. The order is always the same, and if you see a dark room full of rainbow eyes, immediately say it again.

user0026

Full of… rainbow eyes?

user001E

Don't think about it. Don't look at them. Just keep moving and it'll be fine.

user0026

I-I’m sorry, but why would there be-

user001E

I feel like you're focusing on the wrong thing here. We’re trying to get you introduced to everyone right now. Focus on that.

user0026

O-Okay.

user001E

Alright, now, unfortunately Jax is sandwiched in the middle of some of those rainbow eyes, so… you're gonna have to pass by one to leave. But that's fine, it'll be good practice and Jax is definitely not the first person you should meet, so… let's get you over to Gangle. And once you're there we can begin the immersive roleplay experience. You'll probably get along great with her.

So I'm going to need you to shout out “next” two times in quick succession, as forcibly as you can. And remember, no matter what, say it twice.

user0026

Is this dangerous? I-It sounds-

user001E

Go, Peaches! Go! NEXT! NEXT!

user0026

Ah! NEXT! N-Next!

Oh… oh god… Speck, I saw them. I saw th-

user001E

“Eek! W-Who are you?”

user0026

W… What is that voice you're doing?

user001E

“...w-what do you mean?” she sniffles. “This is just my usual voice. I-I'm really sorry if you don't like it… Who are you?”

user0026

Oh, are we already in character? Y-Yeah okay.

Hey there, I'm Peaches. I… like your ribbons?

Uh… offers hand out for a friendly shake.

user001E

She takes the hand tentatively in her ribbony grip and gives it a few delicate shakes.

“Gangle,” she replies, and then with a gasp of realization she continues. “Oh no! D-Don’t tell me you're another human stuck in here like the rest of us...”

user0026

Sorry, I’m pretty sure that's what I am, yeah…

user001E

Tears begin to well at the eyes of her mask.

“A-Another one? Trapped in here. Oh that's so sad. I-I'm so sorry, I… excuse me…” she choked out as she turns, hiding her tears as she scurries away sobbing.

user0026

Oh! Uh, o-okay. Can I, like, run after her? Try to calm her down?

user001E

Nah, on second thought Gangle’s boring to play anyway. It's time for the next one. NEXT!

user0026

Um. N-Next!

Oh! There's two here! Which one am I looking at?

The chess piece or the pink triangle… thing?

user001E

The latter. We'll get to the chess piece later.

The multicolored amalgam of shapes regards you with mild interest as you approach, raising their brow and crossing their mismatched arms.

“Sup. NPC or human?” they ask, cocking their bulky triangular head to one side.

user0026

Human! I'm new here, actually. I'm… going with Peaches if that's alright. Are you- uh -are you human too?

And I shake her… what is that, a claw?

user001E

They sort of just let their claw get limply shook in your hand without much effort.

“A new human, huh? Well that sucks to hear. And yeah, I'm human. What, do I not look human enough for you?” they ask rhetorically with a low snicker as they gesture over their form.

“The name’s Zooble by the way.”

user0026

Peaches. B-But I think I already said that, sorry.

user001E

Zooble squints, their blazé expression flickering with concern.

“How are you feeling? You holding up alright? I know it's a lot.”

user0026

Thanks for asking…

I’m… sorta still trying to wrap my head around it. Trying to accept it's real, not just some crazy dream, y’know?

user001E

“Real?” they repeat with a snort.

“Lemme give you some advice. All of this?” they note, gesturing broadly with their arms at the surroundings. “All the colorful sets and stupid games? The ridiculous body I've got? There's nothing real about any of it. None of it matters. Don't let it distract you. Because there is one thing that's real in here, and that's the people. You and me? We're what's real.”

Zooble leans close, like they're issuing a dare.

“Don't forget that.”

user0026

Oh… wow. 

That's actually really helpful Spe- Zooble. I'll try to keep that in mind, thanks.

user001E

“Don't mention it. Just do me a favor and don't end up like Jax.”

user0026

Who's that?

user001E

“You’ll see…” they reply with a cryptic snark as they saunter away.

user0026

I wave goodbye? Are we… already moving on? 

I like her.

user001E

NEXT!

user0026

O-Oh! NEXT!

Aw, this one’s cute! A little jester girl…

I… walk up and introduce myself.

user001E

…actually? Nah.

user0026

Nah?

user001E

Nah on second thought I'm vetoing this one.

This is Pomni, by the way. She's the one who you just usurped the position of “Newest Member” from. I know exactly how it’s gonna go, and you guys are way too similar for it to be any good. It'll just be you two awkwardly, politely complimenting each other, complaining about everything, gushing about feelings, then a barrage of questions fired back and forth about how the Digital Circus works, anxieties rebounding off each other and getting multiplied in the process in some sort of... New Girl feedback loop. Like putting two walkie talkies together. It’ll be bad for both of us.

user0026

Can't we just see what it's like before w-

user001E

Let's do Kinger next. The player list resets after Pomni, and Kinger's actually so old that the fastest way to get to him is by looping around. Gimme five quick “NEXT”s in a row. It's a long trip through the cellar so say them fast. And make sure it's only five. You do not want to overshoot because after him it's 25 more to Ragatha. Never do the long way around from Kinger to Ragatha, trust me.

user0026

O-Okay that is a lot of info you just threw at me a-and a lot of it was very scary sounding.

user001E

Just do it all at once like this:

NEXTNEXTNEXTNEXTNEXT!

user0026

Wait, but-

user001E

GO!

user0026

Next! Next! OH GOD! NEXTNEXTNEXT!

Wow.

I do not like doing that.

user001E

“Me neither,” the chess piece replies, “or maybe I do. It depends on what you're talking about, actually.”

user0026

W-Wait, are we already doing the… the thing?

user001E

“And that depends on what you mean by thing,” he muses, “you really need to work on your clarity, ma’am.”

user0026

So I'm guessing you're… Kinger?

I’m Peaches.

And I shake his- 

user001E

“Like the fruit or like the food?”

user0026

Is… the fruit not a food?

user001E

“It can be.”

user0026

…

So, Speck says you're the oldest?

user001E

“Oh no, not unless you only count digital years. Which probably is how it should work. And even then, only if you don't count a few of them,” he whispers, his floating glove of a hand pointing to the floor ominously, “which I don't.”

user0026

And who’s… them?

user001E

His eyes dart away in discomfort.

“Oh you don't have to worry about that. That's what cellars are for aren't they? Long term storage?”

user0026

Oh… I… think I know who you mean…

user001E

You do? [%#$@]! Then I made too much sense, didn't I?

Gah! Kinger’s so hard to pull off! It's such a delicate balance! On one hand it's mostly random nonsense, but there's this underlying subtle logic to it that you only get little glimpses of…

user0026

So what he was saying about there being people in the cellar, ones that have been there longer than him… that was the truth?

user001E

Disregard that, seriously. I was just saying Kinger nonsense.

user0026

Those rainbow eyes in the dark… that’s the ones he's talking about right? The ones you were talking about.

user001E

Alright, fine. Yes. You guessed it. Congratulations.

user0026

…what… what happened to them?

user001E

Peaches, trust me, that's not a “first day” conversation, alright? I’ll tell you later just… can we get back into it? I'm trying to do all this in a specific order here, introduce you to the circus step by step, and that's to the benefit of both of us. You won't gain anything from cutting in line and finding out now. Just… let's keep going through the list, alright? There's just two more. Jax and Ragatha. Just start saying “Back!” until you hit the bunny man, alright? The one you first saw when you got here.

user0026

And you promise you'll tell me later?

user001E

Peaches, we're going to be stuck with no one to talk to but each other for a while. You're eventually going to hear every last thing I know, and we've got plenty of time for me to say it. For now… let's just have this.

user0026

…

…if you say so. You know more than I do so it's not like I can really…

Fine.

Back! Back! Back! Back, back, back, back! Back! Back!

Yep, there he is. Bunny man. You said he's called Jax, right? I… knock on his door then walk into his room.

“Hey, Jax right? I'm Peaches. I'm new, trying to get to know everyone.”

user001E

…

Okay, I'm curious, what does your avatar look like? I'm realizing when it comes to Jax I sort of have to know for this to work.

user0026

W-What do you mean?

user001E

If you did have a body, based on the other people you've seen so far, what do you think yours would look like?

user0026

Ooh, that's a tough question.

Maybe like… a cat? A short, round, fluffy cat with orange fur, comfy purple dress, blue eyes…

No! One blue eye, one yellow. A tiara, and-

user001E

I didn't ask what your fursona is. Do you mind picking something that actually fits the aesthetic?

user0026

That's not- I-I'm not… this guy is literally a bunny! Why isn't a cat allowed?

user001E

Ugh. Yeah, okay, fine. Just… let's start at the beginning again.

user0026

O-Okay. I knock softly at the door but haven't come in yet. 

“H-Hey! You're Jax right? I'm new. I'm… trying to meet everyone.”

user001E

“A new sucker already, huh? Well you know what they say about one being born every minute… Well, come on in. No sense knocking, not like there's even anything I could be doing in here that needs privacy. This is a family friendly game world, haven't you heard?”

user0026

I… walk in and give him a friendly smile.

“Heh. Well I can't argue with that. Hi! I'm Peaches, by the way.”

user001E

The rabbit man, who was lazily slumped across the bed, sits up, swinging his legs off the side as he looks you up and down in mild amusement.

“What, did some stray cat wander in from the street, jam its face into a headset?” he snickers. 

user0026

“Hee hee… no, I… maybe. And maybe I was just following the scent of some juicy bunny to eat?”

Oh god, I'm so sorry Speck I-I am so bad at banter, that was awful. Can I-

user001E

“Ohohoho!” Jax replies with a chuckle, standing from the bed, “So I guess you've got claws, huh? Hope so. Might be a nice change of pace. Everyone else always takes this place so seriously. Can you imagine that?”

He presents the painfully colorful room around them with a wave of his hand.

“Taking this place seriously?”

user0026

“I’m not really sure how to take any of it yet. None of it makes any sense. But you’re right. There is something kinda funny about it all, I guess? In a creepy sorta way.”

user001E

“Hah, man, glad you see it like that. You know you're surprisingly chill for a newbie. Most of ‘em are freaking out at this stage.”

user0026

“Oh I am freaking out a little bit, haha. Under the surface. But I’ve always sorta been pretty good at just… accepting stuff as it comes? I don't really fight things when they happen. Sorta a blessing and a curse really…”

user001E

His tone doesn't change, nor does his smile. But something in his eyes certainly does.

“Accept stuff? Like what?”

user0026

“Oh you know, like, if I'm having an unlucky day, or someone's being a jerk, or things seem unfair, or I'm stressed out. I know that sort of thing gets a lot of people angry or upset, but… ever since I was a kid I've sorta just been able to take that stuff as it comes, you know? Accept it.”

user001E

“Ohhh, I get it now. You're one o’ those types. In that case, I think Caine messed up making you a cat, huh? You seem like more of a sheep to me.”

user0026

“Like… nice and fluffy?”

user001E

“Docile, complacent, mindless, just sits there and lets anybody do anything to ‘em...” he murmurs, a smug smirk on his face as he closely gauges your reaction.

user0026

S-She’s…

I-I mean I'm … a little caught off guard.

Is that really the sort of thing he’d say, Speck?

S-Sorry, um, she keeps smiling, and she says…

“I j-just… like getting along with everyone, y’know…? Don't like rocking the boat or letting myself get upset…”

user001E

He pats your shoulder with a patronizing grin.

“Can't please everyone sweetheart, some of us actually like folks to have a backbone. But… I guess your kind can be fun too, in your own way. At least Gangle will finally have some competition for biggest doormat. The three of us’ll have fun.”

user0026

Speck c-can we… take a break from this, please?

user001E

“Aw c’mon, and here I was just a minute ago thinking we'd finally gotten a member who didn't hate fun. So serious. You gonna need a little cry sesh where Ragatha kisses your boo-boos, hm?”

user0026

Speck? P-Please, I’m asking you to stop. S… Speck?

user001E

Oh fine. I'm just trying to give you an authentic experience of the crew by the way, I'm not saying those things because I agree with them, that's just how Jax is.

But we can be done with him for now, on one condition: we're doing one more introduction. Last one is Ragatha to round it all out. You remember Ragatha, right? Two quick “BACK”s and you're there. I promise you won't regret it. She's the best of us.

user0026

…yeah, I remember her…

…

…fine.

As long as she's the last one, a-and as long as you don't do… w-whatever that was back there again. I do kinda wanna see what she looks like…

Back! Back!

user001E

As you enter Ragatha's room, she instantly turns to greet you, dress twirling through the air and red locks dancing. The instant her eyes take in your dower expression, her face begins to glow with a near angelic warmth of care and sympathy as she approaches with a patient smile.

“Peaches, you're back,” she doted, taking your hand in hers, “how’d it go? The meet and greet?”

user0026

...less fun than I’d hoped it would be, honestly…

user001E

She lets out an empathetic sigh, lamenting that a worry of hers had come true.

“I know that a lot of them aren't the easiest people to get along with. Trust me, I know. But you've got to understand, they aren't pushing you away to hurt you, not on purpose. Everyone’s just trying to get by, find their own way of dealing with this place, and some people have resorted to methods that are… less healthy than others. But that’s not your fault, understand?”

user0026

Are you talking about Jax, here? O-Or… Speck?

user001E

“Who’s Speck?” she asks with a quizzical expression.

user0026

N-Nevermind…

user001E

“What I'm saying is, you have to keep trying, keep pushing to reach them even through all those barriers they put up. Because at the end of the day, all we really have in here is each other. We have to make it work.”

user0026

But… w-what about those things in the cellar? What about getting out? Getting back to our bodies? I don't even understand what's happening, w-what this place even is, but there must be some way t-

user001E

She pulls you into a tight, cushiony hug, clinging onto you in her plush arms like being embraced with the comfort of a childhood doll.

“We will. Someday all of us will get out of here and back to where we belong. But until then, we have to take it day by day. Have to keep it together. Have to find the connections that keep us going. Because n̶o̵b̶o̷d̵y̷ can d̷o̷ ̵i̵t̵ ̶a̵l̵o̷̝̕n̷̛̤ȅ̷̮.̸.̶"

She leans back and lifts your chin gently, her button-eyed gaze meeting yours.

“And so I'm just gonna say it, I don't care if it's selfish. I'm glad you're here. That we're here together.”

user0026

I'm… 

…I guess I'm glad you're here too, Ragatha.

...or… Speck?

user001E

Gah! Stop saying my name, you're ruining this for me.

(Image is for illustration purposes only. Actual appearance if they receive a body may vary.)

Chapter Text

user0026

So we're starting now?

user001E

Yes we're starting now! Shush!

user0026

I mean maybe it would help if you gave, like, an official signal. Like if you said “dear diary” or something whenever you start.

user001E

I'm not saying that.

I'm just going to start now.

It's been approximately a day and a half since Peaches’ arrival and she's acclimating nicely. Ish. She's getting more comfortable with switching characters and going between first and third person. She still prefers third. We listened to some of the sparse conversations that happened between games so she could see everybody first hand (though everyone was a little quieter than usual). Then, we invented some games! In one game, we each took turns trying to guess what the other one was looking at.

user0026

Heehee…  you're acting like I invented it.

Have you really not heard of “I spy” before?

user001E

Oh! Then we practiced by doing races for a while, see who could get to a character first.

user0026

And I almost won some of them!

user001E

And, big news, on one occasion she accidentally overshot into the dreaded Kinger-to-Ragatha gap in the player list, but she stayed calm and just kept saying next until she was through.

user0026

R-Right! Oh my gosh it was so sc-

user001E

And as a reward I even let her roleplay out a few more comforting hugs from Ragatha to settle her nerves! It's fun for me too actually, really getting into character and being as descriptive as I could.

user0026

Haha… which… um… you really don't have to do that for me anymore, Speck.

Like, seriously.

L-Like I'd sorta prefer you… didn't…

user001E

You don't have to be embarrassed about it. Everyone needs some Ragatha time.

Speaking of which! I've been mulling it over all night, and I think you should spectate Ragatha for today, as your first adventure.

user0026

Right. Yeah. I sorta figured.

Can't I ju-

user001E

It was a tougher decision than it would seem, I hate to admit it but Ragatha’s had a couple moments… n̸o̸t̶ ̸l̸i̶k̴e̵ ̷h̷e̷r̵s̶e̸l̷f̴ lately. But I’ll be there too, and so if she starts doing or saying anything that might give you a bad impression, we’ll switch over to Zooble. But, it's well worth the risk!

I want you to really pay attention to her, Peaches. Learn how she sees things. Learn how she thinks. Try to get in her headspace. And bam! You'll be feeling right in no time and all those New Girl thoughts I'm sure are swimming around in your head will be banished for good.

Don't want you turning out like Pomni, now do we?

user0026

That's… ominous.

But I'll try my best, I guess. If Ragatha’s really as great as you say, I guess I could learn some things. I just don't want to lose whatever small parts I have that are still me, y’know?

user001E

Oh, pshh, that's overrated. Right now all that you are is a New Girl. All the new people are the same, spectator or no. It's all whining and moping and asking existential questions.

user0026

…h-have I really…?

…I really don't think I've been that bad, Speck.

user001E

Look, just learn how to be Ragatha, then you can take the time to figure who you want "you" to be. Alright?

user0026

…

That feels… backwards.

But I guess I don’t really have a better plan, do I?

Okay. I’ll watch her. Maybe pretending to be someone good really is how you become someone good?

user001E

Exactly. It's how I turned out so helpful.

user0026

Heh. Yeah, you're a real model citizen and pillar of stability, huh?

user001E

STOP.

That sort of sarcasm? That was something Jax would say.

Don't you EVER do that again. I'm serious.

user0026

…

user001E

…

Look, I think this is all quickly taking a turn it really didn't have to. Let's just take a moment to reset, okay?

It's your first Caine adventure, you're going to see everyone in action, see the real Ragatha in action. It's a good day. It's going to be a good day.

On second thought. Just… just forget what I said, and try to have fun today, alright? You'll watch Ragatha, you’ll have a good time, and you'll learn through osmosis just like I did. Don't try to force it. Just… being close to her is enough.

Let's just try to have fun. I'm sure Caine has some wacky adventure cooked up.

u̸s̵̻͚̈́e̶͔̦͑r̸̺͊̃0̶̨́0̸̜̝̊1̴͉̕E̴

N̸͖̻̾O̶̘͚̾̍P̷̮̀E̶̤̽!

N̶O̷!

We are bailing on the Ragatha plan! We are not watching Ragatha today!

user0026

W-What? But… the game hasn't even started? All she said is she'd be there if Pomni needs her, she seems-

u̸s̷e̴r̷001E

To Zooble. N̸O̵W̵!

We're watching Zooble today.

Five “next”s, and I want to hear you say them.

For the love of god this is not going to be your first impression of Ragatha.

user00026

F-Fine… Zooble…

Next, next, next, next, next…

user001E

And not a single "next” or “back” from you until I say so, got it?

Nextnextnextnextnext!

user00026

I... don't really get what's happening here, Speck.

Or why any of this is bad.

user001E

Caine rarely does player versus player, and that's for good reason. Things can get very toxic very quickly in here when you turn people against each other. Best to stick to the one who cares about these games the least, trust me...

user001E

Okay.

Okay it's over. 

We're all safe in the Loser Corner and things are fine. The bad guys won but… whatever, it's just a game. The important thing is that the powder keg of bottled up anger amongst the crew didn't explode completely, and through it all we avoided any potentially awful first impressions for Peaches here. You know what they say about first impressions so today was critical for her development.

Zooble was definitely the right call. I took a few quick glances at the other POVs without Peaches and phew! Bullets dodged. Pun intended.

Instead we got to see a surprisingly touching moment between Zooble and Gangle, we got to have some thrilling gunplay, Peaches got to see firsthand what [@#$]holes Jax and Pomni are, and we uh… w-we gave Ragatha some distance while she… g-gets back to being h̸e̶r̴s̸e̶l̷f̸ again…

Didn't even have to see her.

…

And what about you Peaches, have fun?

user0026

Y-Yeah!

It was nice seeing everyone interacting with eachother, like I was getting to know them on a whole nother level after Speck's uh... introductions a few days ago. See what makes everyone tick! Well, I didn't see everyone, b-but you know what I mean.

I know you moved us over to Zooble as a last resort but I'm glad you did, there's so much we woulda missed otherwise. I mean that talk Zooble had with Gangle I… I'm gonna be honest I probably woulda been tearing up if I could, it was so sweet. It... really spoke to me, actually. How loving the parts of yourself you can't change is something that takes effort. She's... really smart.

I actually felt a little uncomfortable listening in. Like, she clearly intended that to be private conversation, right? Would she be alright if she knew we w-

user001E

Don't think about it. We do what we have to. They'd understand. They might be a little creeped out, but I'm certain they'd all get it.

Keep going.

user0026

Right, what else?

Oh and when she put on the extra arms at the end? So cool!

It's sorta embarrassing to say, but… I really like her.

user001E

Them.

user0026

W-What?

user001E

Whatever. Continue. We've got to wrap this up before the Favorite Character Awards start. I do not want to miss those. We all know Ragatha is going to win and that's exactly the confidence boost she needs right now.

user0026

Okay, wrapping up… I dunno. I liked it?

I liked today.

Honestly if every day is like this… I think I can learn to handle it. It's fun, getting to watch their lives. 

Like, yeah, I wish I could actually hang out with Zooble, or talk to Gangle but… this was still more fulfilling than I expected.

Hopefully I hold onto that feeling.

I mean if you think about it, it's sorta the best of both worlds, spectating. Like I get to be a part of it without the fear I might screw things up, y’know?

user001E

I mean you can still screw things up with me, you know.

user0026

Right, yeah… thanks for reminding me.

user001E

Exactly. Just like that. With a Jax comment. Don’t do that.

Anyway, looks like Caine’s teleporting everyone to the show. And I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to see Ragatha get that award…

user001E

Rigged. Totally rigged. 

Of course Ming would get the most votes from a committee of fellow wood dolls.

user0026

It was a pretty funny bit though.

user001E

Regardless, even with the disappointing final results, I enjoyed that quite a bit.

It was nice that he thought up an award to give everyone, made everyone feel appreciated. And I know Caine makes all these games for us but it’s nice to see these faint glimmers that he’s actually paying attention to us as people in his own weird way. That something is getting through.

user0026

Well, I mean, not us. But-

user001E

It made me weirdly…nostalgic. But in a good way. Normally I hate thinking about the past, it’s a dangerous area but… reflecting on everyone, it just keeps reminding me of how much people keep changing. I know it’s something I’ve rambled about before, not going to keep repeating myself but…

Man. Things are really moving these days, I tell ya. Way faster than usual. Emotional growth all over the place.

And I have to admit, Pomni's arrival might be somewhat of a factor (don't ever tell her I said that) but I still don't think she's the main factor. I think it was Kaufmo’s abstraction. It set off some sort of…chain reaction. It was the first abstraction we'd had in a while so I guess it really got people reevaluating things, thinking about all the topics you're not supposed to think about. But as rough and as painful as it's been, all the old wounds reopening and getting picked at tactlessly by Pomni’s cruel clumsy gloved fingers, everyone thinking about don't-think-about-it things, it somehow seems to be helping? I mean we're getting conversations like the one Zooble and Gangle had almost every day now! Never expected that. I don't fully understand it.

user0026

I mean, if I understand what you're saying… I think sometimes it helps, y’know?

Letting it out.

If you just keep-

user001E

I'm gonna stop you right there Peaches because you are talking about things way out of your depth. You've got no idea how things work around here, okay? Normally, everyone airing out the dirty laundry like this just leaves the whole place a mess. I'm specifically pointing out recent events because they're the odd exception. But everything that's happened recently, good and bad, it's all happened before.

user0026

You've… seen Caine give everyone a bunch of guns then hold an award show before?

user001E

What? No.

I'm saying I've been through one of these post-abstraction chain reactions before, where everyone gets talking and thinking about all the things they shouldn't. And believe me, it was probably the worst few weeks of my life.

user0026

Is it something you can talk about?

user001E

I...

God, normally all of this is on something I like to call the "Don't Think About It" list. All the things I don't let myself think about so I don't slip up and…

…but something about today, and the fact I know someone is actually listening... it feels... different.

Hopefully it was far enough back, it should be safe. Besides, it has a- well, not a good ending but a bittersweet one. 

It all started, inexplicably, with Zip.

I say inexplicably because, to this day, we don't even know why it happened to her. She seemed to be fine, as full of energy as ever. We had an alright adventure with Caine. The games were a little cruder back then, generally more minigames than storylines. That day it was… some sort of pachinko game, kinda boring and luck-based but it was alright. She even seemed like she had fun. She was pretty competitive. Tended to like those sorts of games. Usually won. I think she even won that day. Then everyone headed off to their rooms like normal, everything was fine, but then that night, when I went to check on her… she…

She was there… and… and she…

…

user0026

You don't have to say it.

J-Just skip ahead to the next day if you want.

user001E

Right, yeah. Thanks. You're getting the hang of this.

The next day… well, we were devastated when we found out, as we always are. Even Kinger was. He was slightly more aware those days. But I hope it's not self centered to say, I think it hit Ragatha and me the hardest, even though we knew Zip the least. It was the first time it had happened since either of us got there. Ragatha and I were just starting to get our bearings, learning to care about the people here, then… that. 

A reminder that existence is finite, even here. Or at least… existence where you're still you . This cruel punch to the gut that we won't even have each other , not forever.

Everyone sort of got quiet for a while. Contemplative. Nothing but those blank stares that Pomni’s so well-practiced in. We played the games together, sure. We still talked. But there was a distance there, like we were going through the motions, afraid to connect anymore. And I'm pretty sure that’s what led us straight to number two. 

Thatch. Gone. Out of nowhere. 

And of course, without Thatch, Pixie didn't even last two more days. Those two were always codependent.

user0026

What, like, a couple?

user001E

Oh it's not important, you can forget just about every name you don't recognize by now. You probably won't hear any of them again.

The point is, it was an absolute mess . All of us were in shambles. I think I remember everyone just outright refused to go on any of Caine's adventures for a bit, everyone but Kaufmo who went on a few solo.

We were down to just four players. Well, five if you count me. Kinger, Kaufmo, Ribbit, Me, Ragatha.

I tried to watch over everyone. Any time people were alone I’d be there, watching, desperately looking for any of the early signs of abstraction. As if I could do anything if I saw them. Everyone was wondering who would be the next to go. Kinger? He's the oldest, maybe it’d be him. Ragatha? She’s the least used to all of this, and seemed to be hit the hardest by the losses. Ribbit? He'd never seemed to fully fit in.

This was actually also around the time Jax showed up too. He picked a bad time to join, and his newbie woes certainly didn't help the situation. He latched onto Ribbit and they had their whole weird… thing. And we saw how that turned out.

user0026

…a-and how did it-

user001E

Bad.

But that's not my point.

The important thing is that as everyone was sinking in the muck, the mourning and fear, something happened. Kinger had a talk with Ragatha, the most important one of Ragatha's life. Unfortunately, I don't even remember what he said. I was at the point I had stopped caring enough to really listen to anything that was going on. It was just some series of cryptic Kinger-isms as far as I remember. You know he talks. But… suddenly she was different. She wasn't just going to sit around and wait for the next abstraction, she had found her purpose.

She went to everyone, one by one, and started helping them through things. She organized a ceremony for each one we lost, kicking off the tradition of the psuedo-funerals we've done every abstraction since. She got everyone involved in Caine's plotlines again, convincing them to play along. She looked after Jax (as best as one can). She focused all that pain she felt and directed it towards others, towards fixing things. It was the most inspiring thing I'd ever seen. It the reason why ever since then I've been in-

…i-in deep respect with her.

I realized it was something only she could pull off. There was something special about her that we could all only hope to emulate.

Then, because of her, things mostly stabilized for a while, as much as they can at least, and slowly our crew grew back up in size.

Things were fine, for a time. Mostly. Only a few slip-ups.

When Kaufmo went I was terrified that it would happen again, another spiral of misery and lost friends. That not even Ragatha would be able to stop it. But instead… It's been the opposite. It's been bringing everyone together. It's been breaking everyone out of their shells. Still painful, angry, heated, but… everyone seems to be actually healing. Connecting. Things are being talked about that shouldn't be and in the long run it's helping. People are breaking down but coming back stronger. I don't understand it but… here we are. 

It's happening, and I'm not even sure how.

user0026

Um… I think… do you mind if I say something?

user001E

Sure, fine.

user0026

I mean I've only been here a little so maybe I'm wrong but… I don't think it's just Ragatha…

user001E

What?

user0026

To explain why it's going better now, I mean.

I mean yeah she's really nice.

 And I'm sure what she did back then really helped out but…

I don't think it's just Ragatha doing it anymore.

I mean look at Gangle and Zooble today. Supporting each other. They all do, I think. The ways they all do it are small but… yeah.

user001E

So you're saying that all the other players… ever since Ragatha took on the mantle she did, that it started inspiring the others? Brought everyone together into one big team to try to follow her example?

user0026

I mean maybe, yeah?

Or, y’know, maybe they just started doing it themselves? N-No offense but Ragatha doesn't have to be the only one w-

user001E

Where are you even going with this?

user0026

Well, like, y-you even said Kinger was the one who first got Ragatha t-

user001E

I’d really appreciate it if you stopped trying to undermine me on everything, Peaches. With your, what, three days of experience here? Quick math, that puts me in the ballpark of… of several hundred times older than you doesn't it? 

And after I told you that whole story, a story where she explicitly turned everything around for all of us, that's your takeaway? Instantly dismissing her accomplishments!?

Stay in your lane, New Girl! You haven't even got a halfway decent impression of anyone down yet and you think you know better than me!? Your favorite one is Zooble for god’s sake, and you expect me to respect anything you say?

user0026

W… What does th-

user001E

Stay in your lane!

user0026

A-Alright. Fine, fine.

 I'll drop it. Sorry.

…

By the way, I thought you weren't supposed to call me that.

user001E

What?

user0026

“New Girl”. 

Didn't you say you had a rule against it or something?

I mean I don't have a problem with it, just…

user001E

Wait, did I call you that? 

And no, it's not any sort of formal rule just… something I learned I should stop doing.

user0026

Oh, maybe I'm just getting mixed up.

After all, with all the other rules you have about can and can't be said, it's a little hard to keep track.

user001E

What th-

Where is this coming from?

user0026

…forget it.

I just… I really don't like getting yelled at.

It makes me feel…

…I don't like it.

I thought we were having a nice moment, then-

user001E

I wasn't yelling , I was… passionately defending Ragatha from besmirchment and correcting someone who doesn't know the full story. If that’s yelling then-

user0026

Look, it's fine, can we just… get back to it?

user001E

…

I mean I was pretty much out of things to say about today anyway.

How about you just stop talking for a while, hm?

I've noticed that's something else I've been feeling nostalgic for.

The quiet.

Chapter Text

user001E

Is there a word for a nightmare that happens during a daydream?

user0026

…

user001E

…

user0026

Am I supposed to ans-

user001E

Rhetorical.

If there isn't, I'm coining one now: daymare!

I bring this up because the fact I don't sleep means I'm not able to dream, only faint daydreams when my mind's distracted and things are quiet. I'm sure it's the same for you. But in those daydreams I still have daymares (see? it works!), or at least detailed… hypotheticals my brains cook up that leave me shaken.

One of those daymares, a commonly occurring one, goes like this: one of the players somehow manages to find a method to get us all out of here, to shut the circus down and wake us all up. Or so they think. Everyone gets all excited, convinced they're finally going home, there's cheering and tears, and they hit the button. And blip. The game closes. And we all just cease to exist. We wouldn't even know it happened. Just gone.

Somehow I find that worse than the idea of being trapped in here forever. Just how forgotten we'd be.

And I know what you’re thinking-

user0026

Me?

user001E

The royal you.

I know you're thinking: “But I thought most new arrivals mention a memory of recently putting on a headset, wouldn't that mean that we're just a bunch of people strapped to a computer somewhere, wearing headsets? Wouldn't turning off the headsets just wake us up?”

user0026

Well, I do remember putting on a headset.

Sorta…

Like when you're just barely remembering something that happened in a dream…

user001E

Well yeah, but the theory we're still all wearing headsets has some holes, doesn't it?

user0026

It…does?

user001E

If I have a body up there with a headset strapped to it, who’s keeping me fed? Is some psycho just keeping people trapped multiple years, changing out their food bags, keeping them all clean, dealing with all their poop, and hasn't woken a single one of us up once? I mean, it's possible but why do through that effort just to keep people in a children’s game?

“But what about time dilation?” the royal You asks, “what if we're wearing a headset but we've only been stuck in here an hour or two, and it just feels like years?”

Now, I'm no neuroscientist (at least I don't think so), but I'm pretty sure the human brain has speed limits on how fast signals can be sent around. Through the hormones and chemicals and… whatever. I'm almost certain you could only speed the brain up so much before you start running into some physical limitations. It can also only think so long without sleep and I haven’t slept in years. Now if my mind was entirely digital? Sure. Things could be time dilated out the wazoo. But that can't happen sitting in some chair.

user0026

So… what does that mean, then?

user001E

It means that even if we find a way to pull ourselves out of this place, or shut this place down, it may not be a good idea until we know exactly what we're doing.

user0026

…why?

user001E

Because we may not have bodies to go back to.

user0026

…w…what?

user001E

Well, okay, my fantasy is that some sort of magical bull [#?!@] happened when we put on the helmets, and our bodies somehow got digitized and zapped straight into the computer.

user0026

Is that a thing that can happen?

Like, at all?

user001E

I have hazy memories about that sort of thing. I'm ninety percent sure I'm remembering something that happened in a movie, but I'm holding out hope. It would certainly make things easy. Somebody in here finds the button that lets us all out and bam! We all get zapped straight back to the real world with our bodies just as they were, everything returns to normal.

There's… definitely a more realistic option, though.

user0026

…do I even wanna know what it is?

user001E

My “digital copy” theory: the bodies that exist out there aren't ours.

At some point, a human out there put on a helmet, their brain was scanned, uploaded, and a digital copy was uploaded here. That human moved on with their life, potentially unaware this copy was even made. And one of those copies is you. In which case, we don't have a way out, because there's nowhere to go out there. We were born here, and can only exist here. This is our world.

user0026

Oh god…

user001E

Makes sense when you think about it, right?

user0026

…h…how is this not one of your “don't think about it” topics, Speck!?

user001E

The idea somehow hasn't ever bothered me, not too much at least. It's kind of… comforting, thinking maybe we belong in h-

user0026

N-No! No shut up!

What the [$#&@] is your problem!?

I… I'm vetoing this! We're not thinking about it!

user001E

You don't get to add things to th-

user0026

It's on the list now Speck!

I… I-I’m not… oh god…

user001E

Fine. Yeesh.

user0026

Oh like you're not just saying all this as some sort of punishment. You've been pouting all day, ever since the award show this morning, a-all for something you think I should feel guilty about.

A-And now you're just trying to get me back...

user001E

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm just trying to make conversation here. I thought you liked talking. How was I supposed to know you’d get all sensitive and st-

user0026

Sensitive!?

You're the one who’s always going on and on and ON about how “Oh there's just so much we can't think about! Don't ask me about that Peaches, I don't think about that! Don't you dare say a single thing about Ragatha!” Telling me what I can and can't say! Telling me who to be! Then when you drop this bombshell theory of yours on me and I need a [&%#$]ing SECOND to think, you g-

user001E

Yeah, I get it, fine. Figured you were due for your New Girl scream out any day now, like all the others. Now can I get back to what I was saying without you deraili-

user0026

And STOP interrupting me!

Why do you always do it!?

user001E

Because you alwa-

user0026

RHETORICAL.

I’ve tried to be nothing but nice to you up until now, Speck.

C-Could you please stop acting like I asked to be here? Like I'm just here to ruin your day? Part of some hivemind of new people that all act the same to annoy you.

Maybe we all act similar b-because it's a horrible experience, waking up here.

I'm stuck here just like you, a-and I don't need you making me feel guilty on top of everything else…

Treating me like I'm in the way.

Blowing up on me whenever I say a single thing you don't like!

user001E

I mean you’re the one who's blowing up. But if this is what we’re doing right now, fine.

You want to know why I'm treating you like you're in the way? Because you are in the way.

Like every new player but worse, because I can't even ignore you.

user0026

That isn't my fault!

user001E

You came in here and disrupted how I do everything. A week ago, nothing I said mattered. Now, suddenly, everything I say matters. A week ago, I was always alone. Suddenly, I can never be alone. It's like I got yanked out of the desert and thrown in the [$#&@]ing ocean. And things can't ever go back to how they were now.

user0026

THAT ISN'T-

user001E

I KNOW! It’s not your fault! None of this is your fault! So I'm sorry. But I'm getting used to this as much as you are. And I hate it. I hate it as much as I hate everything else about this place. And I hate that you’re stuck in here and going to have to go through all the things I have, and I can’t do anything about it.

user0026

O-Okay.

Okay.

But… you don't hate me, right?

user001E

...

I don't think so, no.

user0026

Okay that's… something.

I'm just saying, we have to figure this out together, some way to make us able to talk where I don't just feel… policed all the time.

We're in this together so we have to make this work together.

Isn't that the sort of thing Ragatha would say?

user001E

Yeah, I guess it sorta is.

…

user0026

…

Tell me what abstraction is.

user001E

What? Now? Right after-

user0026

If we’re gonna be helping each other, I need to know.

At this point I've figured most of it out anyway. The way you've been trying to dance around has been cute but you’re not great at being subtle. The cellar. The rainbow eyes. The gaps in the player list. I pretty much know already. But if I don't hear it from you, i-if you don't help me put the pieces together, they're just gonna be swimming around in my head.

Besides, you promised.

user001E

Okay, I'm going to need you to sorta mentally brace yourself here, because this might go badly. A-And if you need more Ragatha roleplay at any point just say so. Ready?

user0026

I'm ready.

user001E

Well, it turns out that if a player reaches a certain level of emotional distress, has a total mental breakdown where they lose themselves completely, even for a moment, the system seems to not really be able to handle that and you get... stuck like that. Corrupted. Caine doesn't seem to know how to fix it so he's just been stashing them in their own little area he calls the cellar. As spectators we have to flip past them because they're still on the player list and still... players.

user0026

…thanks… thanks for telling me…

I was ready for that to be the answer but… had to hear it.

…just hidden away, like… broken toys…

No wonder you didn’t want me looking at them.

user001E

Yeah...

I don't know if it's contagious or anything, none of us do, so I've figured it's best to keep contact to a minimum.

user0026

…makes sense…

Still, it’s awful. Just knowing they’re there. Still watching.

Do they know we’re here? That we see them?

user001E

I don't want to freak you out, but...

I'm fairly certain I've seen some of them look at me.

user0026

…

Okay.

That’s gonna be living in my head now. Forever.

Thanks for that.

user001E

Can I keep going?

user0026

Yeah.

I’ll listen. I want to. Even if it’s scary.

user001E

So I showed up about two years ago by my guess, and at that time there were already two dozen people down there in the cellar, and five "normal" players. In the time since I've seen seven new players show up, and I've seen six players, some new, some old, end up going... uh... down there…

user0026

So nobody really leaves. They just… shift. From one kind of stuck to a worse kind. And right now most of the people that are in this place… a-are…

How do you even stay okay, knowing that?

user001E

D-Don't think about it has been the current method... just... if you start to think about it, think about something else, anything else before you spiral. You know how I said at the beginning you need methods? Like my roleplay game and my... "journal everything" out method? That's why. Everybody in the circus who's still around has found some.

user0026

Right… right. Methods.

Distractions with rules. Like a ritual.

You’re right. I-I guess I’ll find some. I have to.

user001E

I can give you some examples of other people's, if it'll help.

user0026

Yeah… I’d like that.

Even if I don’t use them, it might help to know.

user001E

Well, Ragatha has the most benevolent one, obviously. Hers is the simple satisfaction of helping others, her selflessness alone keeps her too busy to dwell. Kinger's been here the longest and mostly seems to get by on this weird... self-induced dementia trauma response, where he just has no idea where he is half the time or what's going on. Jax tries to pretend he’s someone who doesn't care about any of it and acts... how he does as some bizarre way of trying to prove it to himself. Gangle somehow manages to keep herself sane out of this self-pitying martyr complex I can't fully understand, she practically finds purpose out of being a victim. That might have changed recently though. Don't know what her angle is now. Zooble, as you saw, just tries to disengage and keeps insisting that since this place isn't even real, that it can't emotionally affect them. Only really cares about the people.

And personally? I just try to get far too invested in their day to day lives and drama to notice my own situation, and know what topics to avoid. That last part’s getting harder and harder though. It just seems like there's a landmine in any direction my mind wanders now, but I can't even figure out why without risking setting one off.

user0026

That’s…

God. That’s kind of heartbreaking, hearing it all laid out like that. Everyone, just barely holding on in their own way.

But also… comforting? I dunno. I guess it means there are plenty of ways to hold on. Even if it’s messy. Even if it’s weird.

user001E

Yeah honestly, your whole attitude of just trying to accept everything that comes your way with a smile. I- I mean "Jax" -was giving you [$#@&] for it but it may be enough on its own.

user0026

Heh… I mean, maybe.

It’s not really strength though. Sorta just… resignation in a cute outfit.

Besides, it seems like all it does is build and build until I explode. Like earlier…

Doesn't seem like it works, not really. Keeping it all bottled. Based off what you said it seems like it would just eventually lead to a… y’know…

…abstaction…

C-Can we even? As spectators?

user001E

For years I wasn't sure myself. I always wondered. But then, well... the other day, just before you arrived…

user0026
…w-wait, what!?

You think you almost did?

What happened?

user001E

O-Okay, let me preface by saying this is very dangerous territory to talk about so it... uh... might be tricky . I'm going to need to be ready to pull back at any moment if topics seem… spiky.

user0026

Okay.

Just… say what you can. I’m here.

user001E

I’m honestly ashamed to admit it, because really it was over almost no̴t̷h̷i̵n̷g. But I guess that’s likely how it was for everyone down there in the cellar, it’s always something stupid that catches you in just the wrong way. Ragatha w̶a̷s̵… mildly upset by something Pomni was doing. That’s it. That’s the extent of it.

user0026

Okay, that’s the thing that set it off, but that’s not why it happened.

What was your reason?

user001E

I don’t know. I’m not sure I can safely think about it. We’re getting into very treacherous waters here, lots of rocks .

user0026

Well, can I take a guess, if that’d help?

Because she matters to you, on a… I’m gonna be honest, on a level I think is… not good.

Because she’s your anchor, and even the idea that anything can shake her feels like you’ve got nothing steady to cling to. Is that it?

u̸ser001E

You still don’t get her, do you? I keep trying to explain her to you and you still refuse to get it. Why am I the only one who can see it!? She’s not like you or me. She found herself a method that works. A perfect method for a perfect individual. She could stay here for a thousand years without abstracting. There h̸a̶s̴ to be one, a perfect method for each of us, and she’s found hers. I have to believe that. Because if a̷l̷l̷ methods are fallible, e̴v̶e̴n̸ ̴h̵e̸r̵s̸, then with e̶n̴o̷u̷g̸h̷ ̷t̵i̵m̵e̷.̵.̸.̸ a̴l̴l̷ ̷o̶f̷ ̵u̸s̴.̴.̶.̷ A̷̧̝̰̘̣̠̎̆̈́́L̴̮̱̥̾͋ͅĹ̵͇̩͓͎ ̷̢̖͚͂̈́o̸̺̫͂̊̆f̴̢̳͙͐ ̶̠͕͗u̷͎͎̘͂ș̷̛͗̑.̷͖͕̳̓.̷̥̋.̶̖̟̖̎

user0026

O-Okay I can feel that… weird tingling you're giving off. Which is probably n-not good.

I'm gonna need you to trust me here Speck, because this is something I gotta say to the finish or it’s just gonna keep pricking you like this. Even if me saying it is, honestly, really scary for both of us and I’m kind of terrified right now…

Here it goes.

I think… I'm pretty sure…

There is no perfect method to staying fulfilled. For anyone.

No one answer. No big enlightenment or perfect zen whatever. All of them are gonna come up short eventually. People change. Old habits stop working. Things we thought we cared about stop mattering to us. That's life. The chase is never gonna stop.

u̸̧̥̤̼̫͆͂̀͊͆̕ͅŝ̴̥̓͝ȩ̴̛̳̲̟͎̙͙̋̽̅̓͑̾̐̇͝r̷̢̪̟̝̦̻͚͈̟̖̈́̅͆̊̈́̈́̐0̷̡̢̟̬̬͚̥̖̹͖̜̟͂̀̿̒̓̑̂̆̾̿̈́͗0̷̣̬̦͊1̴͚͕̟͒́͊ͅĘ̸̠̎̾̂̃͊͝

̶̙̀.̷̧̳̋͆̚.̵̟̇͝.̸̮̭͇̎ņ̸̮̼͈̳̩̫̹̱͚̥̞̹͂͌̈́̕ę̵̨͈̪̖̩͓̪̜̯̭̼̻͓̪̞̾̚͜v̶̨͍͙͇̥̘̙̰̥̞̩̈́̎͂̎̊́̀̔̾͝͝e̸̫̳̮͎̣̘̐́͛͑̀͝ṛ̸̲̙̮̜̳͖͍̔ ̶̨̙͉̺͓̟̠̜̟̪͚̮͙̠̜̀̏̅̾̐̈́͌̚͠ͅs̶̝̞̖͖̞͖͍̔t̸̟̞̜̗̍̆̑̿͑o̴̗̤͉͔̞̽̅́̓̈́̄͆̽̌̀̇̚̕̕͜ͅp̸̙̱̺̙̣̰̊̉͌̋̄̇̇̀͐͋̈́́̎̔̂̓͘.̶̡̻̖̭̪̩̪̙̳̜͉̥͉̀͊̓̐̇̌̀̈́̈̌̑̆.̷̛̟̥̝̥̱̹͈̓̈̎̋͌͌͘͝͝.̵̡̡̰͚̣̺͉̱̯̝̙̈̉̆̇̾?̷̨̢̥̪͔̻̹̪̦̼̟͛̌͑̆͐̀̔̈́͐́̿̋̔̃͒̓̚͜

user0026

BUT! But- there's a bright side! P-Promise!

And it's that we can keep making new ones. There's always new ones to try, right? New ways to stay happy. New purposes and things to care about. New ways of looking at things.

ṷ̸̢̢͔͖͎̥̮͈̻͙̹͋́͐̍͗̕̚͠ͅͅs̵̢̪̟̣̼̣̫͖̞̥̮͎̹̩͒͑̃̂ͅę̴̘͈͇̳̫͇́̀̃r̵̛̘̤̱̳̖̘̥̙̼̙̮͕̃̐͒̌͠0̶̢̳͔̩̗̩͎̟͈̭̖̞̇̎̊̒͗̄̌̐̀̊̆̅̄͋͘͝͝0̷͕̾̽̔̄͋̿̀͆͝1̸̡̞̫̑̓̈́̌͐̽̈̐͗̆̓̇̉E̵̛͕͔̥͎͗̽̍͆͗̇͆͒̏̀́͊͛͝

.̶̨̨̥͍͕̫̲̄̅̀̅̾̽̒͗.̸̛̻̯̝̥͒͋̓̈́͜.̶̢̹͙̲̘͇̣̞̬̗̱̩͍̄̐̓̉̆͗̀͊̑̈̽̚͘̚a̴̢͈̝͊͆̈́̋͒̓ņ̷̡͙̳̘̟͎͈͔̻͉͍͎̘̫̖͋ e̸͕͂̃͗̾͋̊͆͋̄̏̊͂͐̀͊͂̏̄̕͝ņ̵̢̱̼̘̬͉͔͖̟̠̗̬̝̺̬̗͙́͜ͅd̵̢̧̧̛͇̣̦̟̩̭̙͖͙̦͎͎͐̆̃̈́̈́̇͆͂͌̄́̎̓̉͂̂͌̄͑̒̐̈́͘ͅͅl̷͕͓̩̪̱͔͖̱͇̥͔̯̫͈̗̽̃̾̋͋̅̔̎͌͂̒̍̓̏́̀̊͝͠͠e̶̜͍̘̺̺̳͔̣̹̹̟̲͍̺̮̩̹̪̲̦̱͊́̈̏̐̾̊͂̋̎̂̐̍̓̈́̍̾͌̾̚̚͝͠͠͠s̷͉̮̥̳̉̿̐̒̈́̃̂͝͝s̴̢̧͈̫͉̼̘̘̗͎̜̤̥̣̠̺̱͕̪̯͕̤͇̓̋̃̒͗̈́̈͛̂̄̊͐̈́͗͊͛͘̕͜͜͝͠.̶̝̅̕.̵̧͍͕͉̩̬̣͉͈̤̗̦͚͊̔̿͆͛͗́͌̃̅͊͗͆̈́̊͆͋̑̈.̴̧̡̟̘̘͚͙̥͙̙̪̪͓͉͍̟̰̪͙̄̂͊̀̏̊̐̌̈́̽̈́̉̀̂̒̔͘ ̸̛͔̤̝̯̻͍͕̌͆͛͐̅̅̉̉͋̈́͌͂̽͝p̶̧̦̻͙̜̰̗̮̺̹̉̓̀̈̍́̇͂̂͐́̚̚͜ǫ̵͈̮̻̲͔͖̯͉͕̰̦͕̬͌͌̓̈́͂̄͊̑̋͛̓̓̌͆̏͜i̴̫͔̬̦͕̼͙͚͉̳̖̜̖̹̰̖̐̈́̇̚ͅn̷̡͔͎̭͎̙̺̦̞͖̮̼̰͂̾̍͑̅͋̇̓̂̏̆͒̕͜t̵͚͈̟͉̆̄l̷̰͛͗̄̃̄͆͛͘̕̕ĕ̶͎̻̬̭̱̋̉̆͆̋̑́͂̏š̸̡̳͈̰͉̹͉̼̘͒̾̂̆̾̾̅̉̆͐̂̓͊̈́̈́͜͠͝ͅs̸̖̣̻̺͈̻̪̫͆̈́̆̓͌͌̈̚͝ͅ.̸̧̡̡̨̬̹̳̼͎̲̘͎̣̞̟͕̆̌̆̋̚͝.̶̧̫͉͕̩͚͚̺͎̜̙̉̉͗͆̔́̀̈́̀͗̂̿̇̉̆͘͠͝.̴̼͖̰̺̖̮̦̖̟̮̜̥͔̌͗̃̒̏̆͠͝͝

user0026

Oh god… o-oh god, um…

And like, you're not alone here. My sense of ‘okay’ got pretty [%*&#]ing shattered by that theory of yours earlier. But I'm pivoting.

And so will Ragatha if hers stop working.

And so can you.

A-And I think that's sorta what life is, we keep changing, the method keeps changing, and we just sorta keep… bumbling along, finding whatever works right now.

And right now, I think what’ll work is you and me, talking like this, finding stuff out about each other. Like, w-we don't even have to like each other, we just have to keep this up.

Talking about anything we can.

And if that stops working we find something different.

But for now it's working for me.

…

…d …did any of that make sense? I-I was sorta just… freestyling there, haha…

…hope it wasn't too cheesy.

…p-please tell me you're still there, Speck.

A-And not…

u̶̢̕s̴̬̈́e̷̩̋r̶̟̓0̴̙̐0̵̫̆1̶̣͐E̶̥̓

Y̶o̴u̴…̸ really are a lot like Ragatha, aren't you?

user0026

No.

I'm really not.

Honestly I'm not here to help you, o-or for you to lean on, or to figure anything out for you. That's… really not something I think I can even handle.

At least not while I'm still figuring things out myself.

B-But like I said, I think I've always been good at accepting things. And people.

So… if talking to you and watching what everyone in the circus gets up to, if that's all I have…

Then I guess that's gotta be enough.

u̵s̸e̷r̶001̴E̸

̶.̴.̷.̶

So̵unds c̴l̵u̶m̶s̷y̵.

And makeshift.

I don't like it.

I mean it's no different from what I've been doing, just distracting myself with anything that works.

But there has to be something beyond that right? Somewhere it's all headed in the end.

user0026

The end of what?

Like you said earlier, for all we know this might just… be it.

All we have.

What you said about how we might not have bodies, it made sense. But we're here now. And if you're hoping for something more, if you think you need something more…

You don't.

You and me and whatever we make up together… i-it’ll have to be enough. Sorry.

user001E

Well, somehow I'm still here. After you just recklessly unleashed an entire battery of topics I didn't think were remotely safe for me to think about. So… something about it must be working.

user0026

I'm sorry. I got pretty carried away and I didn't know it would be so…

S-Sorry.

user001E

Don't apologize, I said it's working.

user0026

…right. Good.

user001E

…

user0026

…can I… ask for a favor back?

…from now on, do I have permission to tell you if you’re being a jerk?

So that you can, like… back off?

user001E

…fine. Whatever that means. Sounds reasonable…

user0026

…thanks.

user001E

…

user0026

…

user001E

…so since talking is supposed to be our survival method now, here's something: you can hear that too, right? Or… hear isn't the right word… feel that. The nametag whenever we talk?

user0026

You mean, like… user zero-zero-one-E and zero-zero-twenty-six?

user001E

Oh good so I'm not going crazy, I was trying to ignore it in case I was.

Why am I 1E? What does that even mean?

user0026

Hexadecimal.

user001E

What?

user0026

They're just numbers in hexadecimal, how computers store them. It’s simpler than it looks.

Yours is… let's see it's sixteen, plus… fourteen. So yours means user number thirty. Mine is… double sixteen plus six so… thirty eight.

user001E

How do you even know how to do that?

user0026

Dunno.

They store colors on the computer in hexadecimal too. It makes me think of colors. Y’know, like how pure white is #ffffff or whatever?

…I think maybe I liked to draw on the computer. Y’know, digital art.

That definitely feels right.

user001E

Wish I knew what I liked to do out there.

A few of them seem to be able to remember pieces of their lives before, but I never could. You?

user0026

Not really…

user001E

You know what would be an incredibly ironic twist? What if… it turns out my job is one of those people that watches security camera feeds all day? That's a real job, right? Not just a movie thing? What if we get out of here, I go to work, and in a tragically comedic twist it's the exact same as what I do here? It'd be really funny.

user0026

At that point would you quit or take it as a sign it’s your true calling? Haha.

Ooh! Idea!

Maybe we can make a game out of it! Like, I’ll just start listing every hobby and job I can think of, and if ever one feels right, you stop me, and then you do it back. Seems like it would pass some time, yeah?

user001E

Yeesh, you’re a natural at this.

Chapter Text

user0026

“A-Are you sure we should be doing this?”

user001E

“Heh, and what are we doing, exactly?”

user0026

“We’re… I-I mean it seems like…”

“...w-what I mean is d-don't you think we should be getting back? The others…”

Gangle starts glancing back and backing away.

user001E

Zooble’s claw falls on Gangle’s ribbony shoulder. Just resting there. A firm and heavy presence. A reminder. Something about the steady weight of it there is grounding. Real.

“Yeah? What about them?” they ask, cocking their bulky head.

user0026

“W-Well…”

“Well what if they come looking for us?”

user001E

Zooble snorts out a playful snicker.

“Since when have they cared about what we get up to?”

user0026

“But Caine! He could warp us back to the game any second, and… a-and…’

user001E

Suddenly the claw on Gangle's slender shoulder becomes more insistent, gently urging the smaller woman closer.

“Then we'd better make this moment count, right?” Zooble murmurs in a low purr, just for the two of them.

user0026

“Eep!”

But she doesn't pull away at all.

Her ribbony feet tippy-toe closer.

user001E

“Level with me Gangle,” they continue softly, running a featherlight touch of the harsh pointed claw along the silky fabric of Gangle’s ribbon, snaking down her back, “if you didn't have to think about anyone else, if you didn't have to think at all… what would you want to do right now?”

user0026

“I'd… I'd…”

But that's all she says.

Instead of finishing, she just sorta slowly starts leaning in, and, um-

Y'know a-actually I'm not sure where it goes from here. Zooble doesn't have a mouth right? It's just like a-

user001E

Guh, just get creative!

user0026

Okay…

So Gangle kinda has to, I guess, take the porcelain mask mouth… hole, and sorta just like… presses it on the smooth surface where Zooble's mouth would be if she was, like-

user001E

Nevermind, just stop. Forget it.

You understand Gangle pretty well and are doing passable dialogue but you really need to work on your imagery, Peaches. I think we need to go back to the basics with simpler scenes for now.

user0026

Yeah, y-yeah you're probably right.

That one was sort of starting to get… Phew!

…out of hand…

user001E

As in you think it's a mischaracteristization? Yeah, I was considering the same.

The two of them haven't openly expressed anything flirtatious, and I don't want to be downplaying the validity of platonic friendships.

But on the other hand, I dunno. There's a fun hypothetical there. I'll admit maybe we weren't portraying the most likely outcome, but I've been sensing something between those two that has the potential t-

user0026

N-Nevermind, just-

I need a little break.

Don't get the wrong idea. It's still fun, and you're very… authentic with the acting but…

I'm pretty sure we're like four hours deep.

user001E

No idea. It's been a while since I've had any metric on what an hour is.

user0026

Just saying I wouldn't mind an intermission. Sorta wiped out.

Mind if we just channel surf for a bit?

user001E

Fine, I doubt anyone is up to anything though, between games like this. I'm surprised a new one hadn't started by now, actually. Usually Caine’s quicker than this.

user0026

Does that mean anything?

Like, good sign? Bad sign?

user001E

You can't really predict much of anything with Caine, he doesn't think in human ways even if he tries the talk like one. But if I had to guess, a longer wait means he's either planning something more elaborate, or couldn't think of anything in time and we'll play through some rushed mess he made last minute.

user0026

So it doesn't mean he's in a bad mood or something, right? I know with creative types sometimes a creative block can be sorta a circle.

 You’ve got no energy so you stop creating, then you get depressed because you're not creating, so you've got even less energy…

user001E

Sure, that's an apt analysis if he were a person, but I don't know if he even actually has moods. For all we know he just feigns emotions because he thinks we'll like it. He genuinely wants to keep us happy as best as he can in his own strange way, I’ll give him that much, but beyond that I wouldn't trust a thing about his act.

user0026

Huh, I'll keep that in mind.

…

Woah.

Speck come look at Jax. He definitely seems to be in a mood.

user001E

What? Did he finally start doing things?

user0026

The opposite.

Man, I don't think he's moved since I last scrolled past him, and that was before our roleplay practice. He's been like that since the award show.

user001E

Huh, you're right. He's got those New Guy eyes…

user0026

Has he gotten like this before?

user001E

No.

Well, yes, sort of. But that was back when he was still quite a ways off from being Jax. Just the clingy New Guy who was always hanging around Ribbit.

Hasn't happened since those days.

user0026

Any idea what could have set him off this time?

user001E

Well he was alone with Pomni for maybe a half hour during the gun game. I guess that was enough.

I'm telling you, she's dangerous. More than any other newbie. Even more than you. Everything around her just turns volatile, I still don't fully understand why it's so effective. She's used it for good on occasion, helping Gangle out of a spiral once, but…

There's a reason I've been having you stay away from her.

user0026

Y-Yeah.

I mean I've only caught bits and pieces of the little conversations she has with the others, and from what I've seen she definitely acts nice enough, sweet really. But then I saw her in a game for the first time, and the way she was smiling with that gun, chasing Zooble around, the way she sang at her door…

Freaky.

I mean, is that just how she is? Haven't you been curious what she's like when she's alone? Like, is toying with people something she does on purpose or just a reflex she has?

It seems like you try to learn everyone’s quirks so what if we-

user001E

No! 

I've felt that morbid curiosity, but it's not worth it. I've always stuck to avoiding her whenever I can, and so should you.

Just because we're incorporeal doesn't mean we're safe from whatever dangerous thoughts she spreads. In fact that's the only thing that can hurt us.

Avoid her. Avoid Jax.

user0026

If you say so.

And what about Ragatha? Do we really still have to hide from her too?

user001E

...

Let me check.

…

Okay, she seems to be doing alright again. Spending time with Kinger. 

user0026

And remember, even if she's not doing alright, she's still Ragatha. You gotta remember that.

Sometimes she's not okay and that’s okay.

user001E

Don't! What are y-

…

Wow it feels so wrong being able to safely broach that topic. I've gotten so used to it being an automatic hazard. Give me a little warning next time!

user0026

S-Sorry… I thought it helped last time you heard it.

user001E

Yeah, when I was already breaking down, I'll admit it was a necessary measure then. But why are you trying to blindside me with this hopeless gospel of yours on a good day?

user0026

It's not hopeless, just… genuine.

user001E

Oh yes, so genuine of you, reminding me that nothing's going to last. Even if it is true what’s to be gained in constantly reminding people their lifeline is fraying away while they’re still clinging to it.

user0026

I'm not saying this is the way I want things to be, man. But if you accept that the things we rely on aren't gonna last forever, you can be ready if things change. Like, she's gonna have a bad day again some day. She'll be ready for it and so should you.

user001E

...

You know part of me likes you better when you WERE New Girl, instead of this... "nihilistic teenager who just took a philosophy class" persona you seem to be rapidly adopting.

Weren't you all friendly less than two days ago?

What happened to your “I'm just so accepting of everything and everyone and I never rock the boat” spiel?

user0026

...

O-Okay, ouch. Remember how you promise you'd back off if I said you're being a jerk?

user001E

I'M NOT-

Gah, fine.

…what I meant is that you were quite a bit nicer when you first got here. It was easier to deal with than this whole… prodding therapist act.

user0026

Look, being super friendly is mostly just what I do when I'm freaked out. Y’know, to keep things from escalating. Yeah, maybe I was nicer the first few days, but I was also sorta panicking.

If I'm in here for the long haul I’d rather be honest. I mean it's not like you've been holding back at all when it comes to honesty.

user001E

Honesty is one thing. Talking like you’ve already cracked the secret of existence is another.

user0026

That's not what I've been saying! Really it’s the oppos-

user001E

Yeah, yeah. "No, see, the secret to figuring it all out is that you CAN'T figure it all out! Oooh! So mystical and deep!"

Same thing. Either way it's still only day six for you and you're already lecturing me all the time about how I should be looking at the universe.

I'm the one who should be teaching you how things work around here.

I'm the one with the time tested method.

user0026

…

Okay there are some super snarky Jax things I could be saying right now and I'm choosing not to.

You’re getting so exhausting to talk to, man. You can't just keep falling back on the fact you’ve been here longer every time I try to suggest anything.

user001E

Forgive me for thinking firsthand experience might actually count for something.

I don't think you realize just how much time I've had to think in here. There’s nothing you can tell me I haven’t already thought about ten times over.

user0026

Oh give me a break. Yeah, you’ve got more experience here. I respect that. But-

user001E

You don’t get it. For years the only voice I ever heard was my own. My own thoughts, I can steer them. I know the safe routes, I know the rules.

But you? You just say things. And I don't even know you enough to predict you like the others. That's the problem with all of you, the Pomnis. Do you know how dangerous it is letting someone like you slip a word in sideways? Just unfiltered chaos with every sound you make. Sticking your nose absolutely everywhere without warning.

user0026

God, you’re so dramatic. You make it sound like I’m out here attacking you or something every time I talk! You keep acting like I don’t get it, like I’m just the dumb new kid sent specifically t-

No. No no, hold on. This is the same fight, isn’t it? We’ve had this one already like a day ago. Basically the same, at least. And I don't think either of us want to go through it again. I'm not doing it again.

And you told me yourself last time: you don’t hate me. You don’t blame me for showing up here. So… maybe we could start from where we left off? Because I don’t want this to be every conversation we have from now on.

user001E

Then why continue to poke around in my business? Digging into foundations you don't understand.

You've gotten so horribly insistent at it out of nowhere. Why?

user0026

Because… look, if I’m being honest? Part of why I keep pushing it is… because I’m scared too. Not just of this place, but… you. Some of the things you say. The way you think about certain things. The way you treat me sometimes. They're not…

Good.

user001E

Oh, so you're the grand vizir on all things good, are you? You get to decide wh-

user0026

Speck, please just-

Before this gets off the rails what I want you to know is I'm trying to help with all this.

I know I said before that I'm not here to help you. I don't want to have to. This isn’t some movie where I'm, like, this perfect cheerful free spirit girl that teaches you to love life again or whatever. I want you to just be you. I want to accept you as you are, sit back and leave you to it. It'd be a lot easier if you weren't my problem. But... we're stuck in this together. We both know there are ways of thinking that are bad in here, I just think you've got a few blind spots. Ways of thinking you don't notice are bad. A-And I've probably got some too, so let's just... have eachothers' backs, y'know?

user001E

...

Fine. But since we're being honest...you know I hadn't noticed how nice it was until it was gone: being free from the responsibility of someone else worrying about you. Now on top of everything else I have to wonder what you think. What would happen to you if I abstract. What topics I'm fine with that you might be sensitive to. Just an entire new layer of concerns in my head.

user0026

But that's not how Ragatha would see it would she? When has she ever seen having a new person to worry about a bad thing? She lives for it, right?

user001E

Oh [*$#@] you.

Clever.

Using Ragatha-like-thinking against me. To corner me.

user0026

…you... don’t sound mad.

user001E

Hah. Maybe not. Maybe I’m… caught offguard. That you actually seem to be starting to get her.

user0026

I wasn’t trying to do anything clever. I just… I know how much she matters to you. And if that’s the lens you need, then fine. I’ll use it. If it helps you hear me.

...

Don't expect me to do the voice for her though.

user001E

Good. I don't want you to. You have the general idea down but I doubt you'd be able to handle her vocal nuance.

user0026

Heh…maybe. 

…so does this mean we’re not fighting anymore?

user001E
Until you decide to start one up again.

user0026

Fair enough… I guess?

…

I hope this was at least worthwhile, all the drama of the past two days. Can't tell if we made progress or what.

So was this all worth it? I hate having to keep getting on your case like this…

user001E

It was something at least. You're something. That's one of the biggest things I've learned here, even if sometimes I need reminding. Something is always better than nothing. There have been plenty of people who I've found far more grating than you, and I've missed every last one of them after they were gone…

And ultimately you're right.

She's Ragatha, even if she's having a bad day, even if her method isn't working as well as it should, even if she is still in a slump, she'll still be her and she'll always keep going. She'll always find some new bright side. And that's why I-

…trust her so much.

So let's go see her.

user0026

...

You can't see it but if I had a hand I’d be giving you big supportive thumbs up right now.

No wait, I'm gonna try something. Bear with me.

Hnnng… HRRRRRRG!

HGGGGK-GCK-CK!

👍

user001E

Holy [&$#@]!

WE CAN DO THAT!?