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Scene 1
SETTING: WELSKNIGHT’S dungeon, a tight room with multiple cells. In each cell lie two bedrolls and a chamber pot. The room is dimly lit by torches on the wall, and light filters through iron bars to enter into the cells.
AT RISE: WELSKNIGHT lies in one cell on a bedroll; the door to the cell is open. He is awake, head propped up against the wall. His hands are clasped on his torso, and he looks defeated. His rucksack is next to him.
WELSKNIGHT
(sighs deeply)
I suppose I can rule out the dungeon – not that I really thought that was the answer.
(WELSKNIGHT stands up and brushes himself off. He huffs again.)
Eugh, I didn’t realize there were so many spiders down here. I guess I haven’t cleaned the cells in a while.
(He steps out of the cell and takes particular notice of one torch, looking at it quizzically.)
Is this torch… brighter than usual? I don’t think I remember it being that… penetrating. It’s – (yawn) – Is it…?
(He blinks, rubs his eyes, looks back at the torch, and squints.)
Just my eyes. Um, my eyes… playing tricks on me. (Beat) I really need to figure this issue out. First having the dreams, then not sleeping… and now I’m hallucinating. I mean, I haven’t had symptoms like that since… hardcore? Is that why it feels familiar? (Beat) No, I don’t… I don’t know. But I think I know who to talk to.
(He takes up his things from the cell and exits left.)
(BLACKOUT)
(END OF SCENE)
Scene 2
SETTING: BDUBS’S forest at nighttime. The area is moonlit and at points lit in green to indicate large trees that serve as the barrier between his land and the surrounding world. Through the forest runs a clear creek off of a beaten path. The creek is only a few meters wide, and a meter down at its deepest point.
AT RISE: BDUBS sits on a stone next to the creek, thinking. Burbling water noises, crickets, and wind rustling the grass can be heard. WELSKNIGHT is entering from left, and BDUBS notices him from across the creek.
BDUBS
Wels! Not often that I see you around here! I hear you’ve been quite busy lately. Lots of construction at the castle, eh? I gotta get out there and see it, y’know, I’m sure it’s just beautiful.
WELSKNIGHT
Oh, uh, thanks Bdubs. Yeah, I’ve been working on it, um… tirelessly. Sleeplessly . A little bit.
BDUBS
(rising from the stone)
Is that so? Come to talk to old man Bdubs about your nighttime troubles? What’s been botherin’ you, Wels? Anything specific?
WELSKNIGHT
(at the opposing bank -- only a few steps away)
Ah, yeah. Well, no. Nothing specific. Except -- well, it feels familiar. Not that I’ve had issues with sleeping before. I’m, ah, not that kind of guy.
BDUBS
Uh-huh.
WELSKNIGHT
It’s just that whatever’s keeping me up, that’s what feels… I don’t know, just like I’ve felt it before. But I don’t know when, or why. It’s like… something that’s not me , but is like me , if that makes sense.
BDUBS
(wading through the creek, but stopping to think)
Hm. Yes. Y’know, I’ve heard people say that sometimes it feels like their anxieties take on minds of their own. Is there anything you’re worried about right now? A project or what-not, somethin’ taking up all your brain-power?
WELSKNIGHT
Uh, no, I don’t think so. Not since Demise ended, and that was probably the last time I slept well . Like, it was over, and then suddenly… yeah. It feels like something’s bothering me, but more like… like there’s something pestering me. And whatever is pestering me is real annoyed.
(WELSKNIGHT helps BDUBS out of the creek onto his bank, and they both sit facing each other slightly.)
BDUBS
(getting comfortable)
Well, I can tell ya, these cases sure aren’t simple, and I can't fix ya on my own. Takin’ care of it’s gonna not gonna be easy, Wels, and you’re gonna come out of it different. Good-different, hopefully -- stronger, hopefully -- but, hey now, don’t be mad at me if you don’t like what happens.
WELSKNIGHT
Believe me, I’m no stranger to bad-different. (yawn) Or different-different.
BDUBS
Hey, hold on, now -- didn’t you sleep through half a whole season a while back? We went through the reset cycle, and you stayed behind! Somebody even had to go get you, you were knocked out so hard!
WELSKNIGHT
Well, yeah, I don’t really see why that --
BDUBS
Man, that puts a whole new spin on things! Wels, I know what’s comin’ for ya, and I can’t spoil it, but I can tell you this: You’ll sleep faster than ever when this is all over. You let me know when you want the night, and I’ll give it to ya, no questions asked, alright?
WELSKNIGHT
Um… alright…?
BDUBS
Good. Here, let me help you --
(He helps himself and WELSKNIGHT up from the ground.)
There we go. Now go home, and choose a comfortable bed to sit in. I can practically see the tension radiating from your neck.
WELSKNIGHT
(chuckling)
Yeah, will do. But, hey, Bdubs?
BDUBS
(turning to face WELSKNIGHT)
Yes?
WELSKNIGHT
Should I be… I dunno, scared?
BDUBS
Ahh… y’know, maybe. Maybe so. As scared as you are of any night. But that’s just fine. That’s why we sleep, isn’t it?
WELSKNIGHT
(pondering, turning away)
Yeah, ah, I guess it is. I’ll see you around, Bdubs.
(WELSKNIGHT exits left while BDUBS watches.)
BDUBS
See ya ‘round!
(BLACKOUT)
(END OF SCENE)
Scene 3
SETTING: WELSKNIGHT’S bedroom, the same night. A spacious space with hardwood floors, a teal carpet, and a bed with regal purple linens. Plants are placed in corners that seem to receive sunlight but are for now struck by the moon, and other decorations like armor displays are sparing but present. The room is lit by a few lanterns.
AT RISE: WELSKNIGHT enters left, placing his rucksack by the bed and half-lying down. His head is propped up on the windowsill behind his bed.
WELSKNIGHT
(closing his eyes)
Oh-kay, let’s try this again.
(deep breath in and out)
Time… to… sleep. (Beat) Sleep.
(After a few beats, a buzzing noise rises. WELSKNIGHT pops an eye open and looks around, but seems to see nothing and closes it.)
Um, time to sleep .
(The buzzing grows. He opens both eyes now, looking annoyed.)
What is that noise?
(sitting up, beginning to look around irritatedly)
Not a wink ! Not a moment’s peace! It’s like something's tracking me! Is that what this is? Some sort of curse? Or a sick--
(He’s interrupted by a lantern catching his eye, which he inspects closely for a moment.)
Oh-- oh-ho, I get it now.
(Beat. He turns out and looks up.)
(Voice raised) Hey, what doesn’t kill you, right?
(HELSKNIGHT enters right.)
HELSKNIGHT
(chuckling, menacing)
Yes, indeed. I’m glad you finally found me -- I see you’re just as dense as the day we met.
WELSKNIGHT
And I see you’re just as persistent.
HELSKNIGHT
(drawing his blade lowly)
A knight keeps his word.
WELSKNIGHT
Indeed. (Beat) So what’s new? I know you’ve found a way over from Hels, so how did you get here?
HELSKNIGHT
Hmm. Where is here ?
WELSKNIGHT
What do you mean, where is here ? You’ve been slipping onto Hermitcraft for years now. What kind of hole did you find?
(He waits for an answer, but HELSKNIGHT only raises a brow coolly. The buzzing noise swells, and WELSKNIGHT seems to notice it this time.)
Don’t tell me Beef built another cloning machine.
(WELSKNIGHT looks around briefly.)
HELSKNIGHT
(irritated, sighing)
Oh, no, your friend has nothing to do with this. Not this time. In fact, I’d say that the only one at fault here is you .
(approaching, raising sword)
You’ve failed to take care of me for years. You won’t incapacitate me, much less kill me. I have unlimited time, unlimited hate . You make way for me again and again. You pitiful fool. You bring me here because you don’t cut off the problem at the source -- and, you know, I always return.
WELSKNIGHT
I don’t need to kill you. I don’t need to cut you off . You’re part of me; I’m part of you. You’re -- you couldn’t do --
(The buzzing noise cuts him off, swelling again, and settles into a noticeably loud hum. WELSKNIGHT knows where he is.)
HELSKNIGHT
And now you’ve come around.
(He prepares his blade properly.)
You do always put up a good fight. (Beat) Let’s end this.
WELSKNIGHT
(grabbing a sword from an armor display)
There is no ending this.
(A fight begins. They’re perfectly matched, but HELSKNIGHT is more ferocious. The humming crystallizes. Their hits find a rhythm.)
HELSKNIGHT
You think that you’ll keep taking me,
But really, what’s the point of this?
I far outpower you, and still,
You stay, unyielding -- pacifist.
You barely fight with blade and hand,
Emblazoned banner on your back,
But I forever trudge to you;
You have my promise, yet you lack.
WELSKNIGHT
(matching him)
A pointed comment, I concede,
But let me put your point to rest;
I am the knight of written word,
Of parchment plastered to one’s chest.
I am the warrior of speech,
Of nailing theses to a door,
Of mouthing-teething-tonguing breath,
Of counting meter, two-by-four.
HELSKNIGHT
(more intently)
The pen’s not fit for flesh or blood,
Your slicing words are not a sword.
And surely you would know it best:
The bard can never be a lord.
WELSKNIGHT
(immediately, gaining the advantage)
Yet I persist, you said it first,
Unyielding, yet I do not crack.
I labor over language, but
When you appear, I send you back!
(He strikes HELSKNIGHT’S blade a final time, pushing HELSKNIGHT onto the floor. WELSKNIGHT wins.)
HELSKNIGHT
(He stands and pauses, then has an idea. His tone is tempting.)
That silver tongue is doomed to rot.
WELSKNIGHT
(turned away)
That I’ll accept; I join you not.
(HELSKNIGHT spits and exits left. The humming dies down, and the light grows; it’s morning. WELSKNIGHT turns left, then turns around. WELSKNIGHT exits right.)
(BLACKOUT)
(END OF SCENE)