Chapter Text
Harry Potter was an unusual pre-teen boy with untidy black hair, emerald-green eyes hidden behind a pair of black full-moon glasses, and was stick-skinny. He was already back at Privet Drive for the summer holidays, and the Dursleys (his relatives) treated him as they usually would. It was breakfast time on a warm Friday morning of July 31, 1992 (which was Harry’s twelfth birthday); and Uncle Vernon was glaring at Harry while gritting his teeth because of the racket that Hedwig (Harry’s snowy female owl) made because she had been padlocked inside of her cage and Harry was forbidden to let her out. It wasn’t the first time Harry got into an argument with his nasty uncle even if the fault lied with the Dursley patriarch for forcing his nephew to keep his owl locked in her cage around the clock.
“I’m warning you, boy,” snapped Vernon. “If you can't control that ruddy bird, it’ll have to go!”
“But she’s bored,” Harry tried, yet again, to explain. “She’s used to flying around! If I could only let her out at night when most of the citizens would be asleep.”
“Do I look stupid to you?” Vernon snapped again, a bit of egg hanging from his moustache. “I know what’ll happen if you let that ruddy bird out.”
Harry opened his mouth to argue, only for a long loud belch to stop Harry from saying anything. The belch came from his cousin, Dudley, who had gotten fatter to the point where his bottom drooped over either side of the chair he was sitting on. Despite the obesity, Dudley’s clothes were still depicted as being loose (since Harry saw him hitching his trousers up a couple times when he entered the kitchen moments ago, as Harry was frying eggs during that time).
“I want more bacon!” Dudley whined to his mother.
“There’s no more in the frying pan, sweetums!” Aunt Petunia told her son in an affectionate voice. “But there’s more sausage links in another one if you’re still hungry.”
Turning his attention to his cousin, Dudley instructed, “Pass the frying pan.”
“You’ve forgotten the magic word!” Harry replied in an irritable voice.
The effect of that simple sentence had a profound effect on the family. Dudley gasped in horror as he fell over backwards in his chair, Aunt Petunia paled in fright, while Uncle Vernon got up onto his feet with his teeth gritting more intensely as his face turned puce with pure anger.
“I meant please,” said Harry quickly. “I didn’t mean…!”
“WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU,” shouted Vernon, spraying spit in Harry’s face. “ABOUT SAYING THE ‘M’ WORD IN OUR HOUSE?!”
“But I…!” Harry tried replying.
“HOW DARE YOU THREATEN DUDLEY!!” Vernon shouted again without a care that he interrupted his nephew, pounding a fist into the table.
“I just…!” Harry tried replying again.
“I WARNED YOU!!” shouted Vernon, interrupting his nephew again. “I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF!!”
“YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL THAT I MEANT PLEASE, YOU FAT FUCK!!” Harry shouted back as he frantically wiped his face, finally having had enough of the Dursleys’ treatment towards him. “THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY SO-CALLED ABNORMALITY, SO YOU NEED TO COOL THE FUCK DOWN AND STOP GETTING SO FUCKING ANGRY OVER SOMETHING THAT ISN’T A BIG FUCKING DEAL. I NEVER THREATENED DUDLEY AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT. IT’S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU INTERRUPTED ME FUCKING TWICE, BUT SPRAYING FUCKING SPIT ALL OVER MY FACE WAS FUCKING UNCALLED FOR, YOU FAT FUCKING TUB OF GUTS. SO YOU’D BETTER JUST STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME FROM NOW ON, OR I’LL MAKE FUCKING SURE THAT YOU’LL BE FUCKING SORRY!!!”
Aunt Petunia paled even more, shocked by her nephew’s sudden outburst and standing up to them. Dudley was still laying on the floor, too frightened to even move and get back up onto his feet and set his chair back up. Uncle Vernon gritted his teeth so forcefully that they looked like they were going to break off any moment and his body trembled even more than ever as he found it hard to believe that ‘the freak’ had the gall to use such colourful language at him. He attempted to slug Harry in the face, but he missed since Harry managed to dodge it. So the Dursley patriarch stomped his way around the table towards his nephew to try again, but Harry was ready and kicked his wicked uncle in the groin.
“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Uncle Vernon squealed, placing his chubby hands over his family jewels as the pain flared up and he collapsed onto his knees and widened his eyes.
It was even enough for Uncle Vernon to cry because getting kicked in the jewels certainly hurt excruciatingly, but Harry didn’t care due to having had enough of his relatives’ nasty treatment. However, Harry looked behind him just in the nick of time to see his aunt having regained her composure to aim a heavy blow at his head with one of the frying pans left out, with Harry instinctively ducking to avoid getting hit. After yelling at him for his ‘bad behaviour’ for about five minutes, Petunia gave Harry extra work to do with the ‘promise’ that he wouldn’t eat anything until he was finished. After getting over the shock, Dudley lolled around watching Harry doing ‘chores’ while eating some chocolate ice cream. Harry did the usual work like washing his uncle’s company car, mowing the lawn, and tending the garden that his aunt took credit for. When he tended the garden, Harry thought he saw a pair of big bulgy eyes looking at him from within the bushes.
Being out in the sun for half the day burned the back of his neck since he wasn’t allowed inside until he got the outdoor ‘chores’ finished first. Then Harry had to do the indoor chores before he was allowed anything to eat. By the time Harry was finished with his chores, it was already dinner time for him and he had to eat his food as quickly as possible since he knew that Dudley would steal it while his relatives could care less as long as their ‘precious’ son got more to eat. Vernon was glaring daggers in his nephew’s direction as intensely as he could, but Harry had zero cares about that since he wasn’t going to apologize for standing up for himself combined with the well-known fact that Vernon felt zero remorse for his outburst at breakfast.
However, the Dursleys had other things on their mind since Harry could hear some of it earlier about some kind of dinner party and rehearsing for it, since somebody wanted to make a huge purchase from Uncle Vernon’s drill-manufacturing company called Grunnings. Petunia was even working on a violet pudding that was meant to be for dessert. Dudley tried to sneak a small bit of the icing, but Petunia lightly smacked his hand as she affectionately told him it was for the dinner party. Harry saw that there were three dining chairs in the living next to one of the couches, since both couches were only big enough for two people. Vernon and Petunia were likely going to sit in the armchairs, and Dudley would likely occupy one of the dining chairs. Harry wondered how many guests were being invited to this dinner party as he finished eating and put his dishes in the sink to wash them, but he knew better than to ask since he was always forbidden to ask questions.
“Now Rohan Patil and his wife should be here with their family any time within the next half hour or so,” Vernon reminded his family. “Now let's use the time to, once again, go over what all should be said and done.”
‘Are they related to the Patil twins?’ Harry mused to himself while maintaining a neutral expression on his face.
“Alright, Petunia, when the Patils arrive, where will you be?” Vernon asked his wife.
“I’ll be in the lounge,” Petunia replied proudly. “Waiting to welcome them graciously to our home.”
“Wonderful!” Vernon praised his wife. Then he turned his attention to Dudley and asked, “And Dudders, where will you be?”
“I’ll be waiting to open the door!” Dudley replied. “Since I want to impress the female guests and show them I’m a ladies man.”
“Excellent!” Vernon gave his son endless praise. Then he turned to Harry and inquired, “And you?”
“I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise, and pretending that I don’t exist!” Harry replied.
“Precisely!” Vernon replied with some nastiness in his voice. Then he turned to his wife and son and asked his wife, “Now Petunia, what will you do when the Patils show up with Dudley?”
“I’ll show them over to the couches,” Petunia replied, again in a proud voice. “Where I’ll make room for them to take seats on the couches. Then I’ll ask Rohan and his wife Priya if they’d like any beverages, then I’ll ask his brother Abhay and Abhay’s wife Pari what beverages they’d like, and finally ask Abhay and Pari’s twin daughters Parvati and Padma what they would like to drink!”
‘I KNEW IT!!’ Harry thought triumphantly, still maintaining a neutral expression (knowing that a happy him was his relatives’ worst nightmare). ‘Too bad they won’t get to see me, since I’ll have to stay in my room and pretend that I don’t exist. Damn my luck! It would be nice to talk to someone from school, especially since I hadn't received a letter from Ron or Hermione as of yet. Will they ever get around to sending me a letter or something? I don’t know how much more of staying here enduring my relatives nasty treatment I can take.’
“Marvelous, Petunia!” Vernon praised his wife. Then he turned to Dudley again and asked, “What will you do after you open the door for our guests, Dudders?”
“I’ll offer my arms out for the female Patils and lead them to the living room and offer to put their jackets over chairs,” Dudley replied. “Then I’ll lead the male guests to the living room after I help get the ladies seated. Once the male Patils are in the living room, I’ll offer to take their jackets off for them and place them over the unoccupied chairs.”
“Way to go, Dudders!” Vernon endlessly praised his son again. Upon turning to Harry, Vernon inquired, “And you?”
“I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise, and pretending I don’t exist!” stated Harry.
“You got that right, boy!” snapped Vernon, deliberately avoiding giving his nephew any sort of praise. Then he turned his attention to his wife and son once more and asked his wife, “Now Petunia, once our guests have their beverages, what will be the next task for you?”
“I’ll get biscuits for our guests and place them on the coffee table,” Petunia replied. “That way they can have some lovely appetizers before we eat dinner!”
“Incredible, Petunia!” Vernon praised his wife once again. Then he turned his attention to Dudley and asked, “What will you do after you put the jackets belonging to Rohan and Adhay?”
“I’ll get hand towels to put over the laps of our guests,” Dudley replied. “That way when they eat they won’t have to worry about getting food on their laps and ruining their formal clothes.”
“That’s my son!” Vernon endlessly praised his son once again.
“They’ll love him!” Petunia cried. “The twins especially will be swooning to see how much our son has turned into a gentleman!”
It was too much for her and Harry, with Petunia hugging her son in a proud manner while Harry had to duck under the table so his relatives wouldn’t see him laughing (whether or not he was trying to be as silent about it as possible). It didn’t take the Dursleys that much longer for them to notice that Harry was under the table. They weren’t going to have their ‘freak for a nephew’ ruin anything even before the Patils’ arrived for the party. After all, the Dursleys were notorious perfectionists when ordering their nephew to do the long list of chores, even a smidgeon of a flaw was enough for them to rip Harry a new one.
“And you?” Vernon inquired once again, with Harry crawling out from under the table and getting back on his feet while trying his hardest to keep his face straight.
“I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise, and pretending that I don’t exist!” Harry replied.
“Too right, you will!” Vernon told him in a no-nonsense voice. “The Patils don’t know anything about you, and it’s going to stay that way. Once Rohan pays for the drills, we plan to have a vacation in Majorca and look around there for a vacation home. This is the biggest deal I’ve made since the start of my career, and you will not mess it up.”
“Yes sir!” stated Harry.
“Good!” Vernon gave his nephew backhanded praise. Then he gestured with a thumb before telling, “Now get upstairs to your room and stay there until the dinner party is over. And remember, one sound and there’ll be trouble for you.”
Harry quickly left the living room and headed upstairs, but he waited near the foot of the stairs to listen and see what Dudley may try doing to the Patils, while Harry made sure to stay hidden to avoid the wrath of his uncle afterwards. Harry had been waiting for about eight minutes when there was a knock at the door. The door was heard being opened and the sounds of the Dursleys and the guests greeting one another.
“May I take your arms and escort you to the living room, Mrs. Patils?” Dudley was heard asking.
It was taking Harry everything he had to avoid laughing, even though he knew that Dudley wasn’t doing any of that for genuine purposes but because he was well paid for it. The sound of Dudley’s feet were heard, which meant that he returned to do the same for Parvati and Padma (even though Harry didn’t see either twin). As much as he wanted to go back down to the living room and see them, it was too risky given Uncle Vernon’s warning about keeping his existence a secret. The sound of Dudley’s feet was heard a third time, meaning that he came back to escort the male Patils to the living room.
Then Harry turned back around and down the hallway to his room so he wouldn’t run the risk of tempting fate. Harry made his way into his room and closed the door as quietly as he could. Then he turned around to collapse on his bed and think of a way to pass the time, only to find his bed occupied by a strange being. Harry avoided screaming as soon as he remembered his uncle’s warning, but that didn’t stop his curiosity from piquing as to what this strange was and what it was doing here in the first place. The strange being’s eyes were tennis-ball size, and Harry remembered seeing them somewhat in the bushes when he was tending to his garden.
‘Curse my rotten luck again!’ thought Harry. ‘Things just never get easier for me, and it seems incredibly unlikely that my rotten luck will go away, if ever!’