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Julian made his way up the uncomfortably white and disproportionally wide staircase in his dirty air force ones, he should clean those, hoping he doesn't seem suspicious to any of the super-rich guests who are probably too focused on their calendar full of important meetings and golf-dates with other old white men either way. He had been a little worried he would be stopped by security on his way up, but he's a star, or something, and the hotel is filled to the brim with important football players anyway, so unless someone looks too closely and notices that he is not nominated for the euros and should, in fact, not be here right now, he would probably be fine.
He could have taken the sleek elevator with the shiny glass walls, but in addition to his dislike (totally not fear) of elevators, the thought of possibly being stuck with someone who would recognise him up until the twelfth floor in that see-through chamber did not seem too appealing.
Now, having reached floor number eight, he was beginning to regret his decision.
Finally having reached floor twelve, room number 1265, he stood at the door, wondering how a building even had that much space, and if he should even knock. Suddenly, he felt uncertain. Possibly slightly embarrassed, he thought he could just visit Kai in his hotel room after a successful game, to congratulate him. Congratulate him, because he played well and scored a goal. Not to ease his own soul, or to heal the wound of a [zero - two] loss in a champions league final, or because Kai looks really good in that pink jersey. Julian knocks.
He was still contemplating simply speed-walking back towards the overwhelming, bright staircase when the door opens. He's caught off guard by how little time it takes.
“Jule! I was expecting you” Kai says to him, immediately after opening the door, a satisfied smile on his face that is still carrying that typical post-win glow. Even if it was just a friendly, Kai has all reason to be proud of himself. Julian tells him so, ignoring the weird feeling in his stomach that is likely caused by the heartfelt greeting.
Kai softly closes his hand around Julians wrist and pulls him into the room, closing the door, locking it. Julian feels relieved, Kai was expecting him, and Kai was now hugging him.
“I'm proud of you, for playing in the champions league final. You did great, I only watched it for you. How do you feel after that? Are you okay?”
That had been a week ago, and regardless of his own impressive performance only a few hours before Kai wanted to know about how Julian felt. Still hugging him in the middle of some hotel room, tightly. Scraping his short nails over his shoulder blades, lightly. Julian didn't even notice when he started crying.
“Kai, I missed you” The arms around his shoulders tighten, “I missed you too, Jule”.
“I wanna play with you again, it's not as fun without you.” He feels like a child. And even though he is the older one, Kai holds him like he just got made fun of on the playground, soothing hot palms moving over his back, shoulders, neck, arms. And suddenly, he's under the covers of Kais hotel bed, he must've lost his shoes along the short way.
Julian feels helpless, like a baby, like Kai is his mother. No, that would be weird, now that said man is leaning over him and Julian kind of wants to kiss his pretty mouth. Kai beats him to it, “I missed you,” he whispers against his lips, and Julian only whimpers, tasting lips, tasting Kai, tasting love.
He feels hands resting by his collarbones and the other man's body weight on his legs. He wishes there was no blanket separating them. Kai seems to hear him, he shuffles underneath the blanket next to Julian, closing his arms around him from behind.
“I love you”
Julian hears, a nose pressed into his hair and a hand flat on his right pec, and mumbles
“I love you, Kai”
into the pillow. He feels like at least half of his soul has been sucked out of him just so it could be presented and bared to Kai, as if he would need that to understand Julians sincerity. So he closes his tired eyes, listens to the breathing on his neck, and feels for the heartbeat behind him.