Work Text:
12pm
Penelope could kill her husband. She really could. He knew she'd say no to this so he tactfully offered to host when she wasn't present and then waited till the last minute to tell her. Game night. She hated game night. Everyone hated game night, except the Bridgerton's who failed to see what choas they were causing and Kate who was competitive and didn't care what people said to her during game night. Now she was running around the house checking for anything pointy, flammable or anything that might cause injury. Someone would most likely end up in hospital no matter what she did, but at least she was trying. Unlike her husband, who was obsessing over why they had decided to play Articulate and who he should ensure ended up on separate teams. He had three whiteboards ,covered in post it notes, that he'd specifically gone out and brought for this purpose. He was a walking meme.
Game night in laws
Pen: All set
Simon: I have wine. And beer. And spirits. The shop worker was judging.
Gen: Thank god I'm not breastfeeding anymore, I don't think I can do this sober.
Michael: Fran's making me practice.
Lucy: Nice to be included, what's going on and why is Kate not in here.
Pen: Kate is one of them when it comes to game night. I can't drink, but I can fake a spot of morning sickness if I need Colin to chill.
Gen: 👍
Gen: We'll definitely need to use it.
Simon: Violet is having our kids and Kate and Anthony's
Gen: And ours
Phillip: And the twins. She said she'd rather have a million kids then be available for game night.
Gen: It's a good job it's your first child Penelope, Benedict would be no use to me now unless I was in active labour. I'll be drinking my way through tonight.
Penelope: Surely someone else has a tactic to distract their spouse.
Philip: Yeah not on game night.
Michael: Fran might believe I was having a heart attack if push came to shove... but it's 50/50 really.
Gen: Remember when we played Monopoly and I told Benedict his gallery was on fire to try calm him down?
Lucy: Oh my God, what did he do.
Simon: Said he'd deal with it another day.
Penelope: Then spent an hour arguing with Colin about the value of Bond Street.
Gen: When I say I almost divorced him...
Penelope: So basically I'm our only hope?
Lucy: Is it that bad?
Michael: If you don't love Gregory then you'll not survive tonight.
Penelope: Don't scare her.
Gen: We'll look after you Lucy.
Simon: Yeah or just drink your way through.
Bridgersons:
The baby: Please don't freak Lucy out too much, I don't want her breaking up with me over this.
Penelope's man: Aw Greggles is in lurrrve
Arty ass: We'll do our best.
Elder and better: I'll tell Kate not to insult her. I make no promises.
The whole fam:
The boss: Children, no hospital trips, no attacking each other, no saying awful things to each other. I will be asking Penelope to fill me in on anything that happens.
Globetrotter bro: Pen won't snitch on her own husband, Mum.
Colin's better half: Oh but she will Colin.
The other boss: I'll try keep everyone in check.
Demon Sis: We're not children.
Art Bro: Erm Hyacinth you're literally a child.
The boss: Yes and if I hear you've had any alcohol Hyacinth Bridgerton...
Gen: I'm looking forward to some drinks.
The boss: Greg you can have ONE beer.
Dukey: I'll keep them in check Violet.
Duchess sis: Simon has literally spent hundreds on drinks.
Scottsman: That's what I like to hear.
Rugby Bro: Cheers mum
Scottish Sis: Are we sure we want articulate?
Equality Sis: I'm not having another three hour argument over the game. Amanda and Oliver are better behaved then all of you idiots.
Plant dude: So I guess Articulate?
Badass Sis in law: Bring it on!
Penelope considers chucking articulate in the bin, but they'd probably just go buy another copy so she refrains. May as well save money, the chances of the house burning down are already high enough. No point wasting twenty pounds on a new version of Articulate. Instead she tries to work out teams, running it past the in laws first before making sure Violet sees the teams.
The whole fam:
Colin's better half: Okay here's my team suggestion. No married couples together so no one can claim an advantage and obviously I've also put me and Eloise on separate teams and then I drew names from a hat. Otherwise if you don't like it you can fix it yourself... last couple too arrive draws straws to see who goes last. There's four counters:
Red - Colin, Kate, Garreth, Daphne
Blue - Me (Penelope), Fran, Lucy, Benedict
Gold - Eloise, Anthony, Gen, Simon
White - Philip, Greg, Hyacinth, Michael
The boss: You're sticking to these teams. Your mother has decreed it (in laws I'm sorry I don't accuse you of sinking to my children's level of stupid when it comes to games.) XXX
The boss: Good luck. Please don't kill each other. I'm not explaining that to your children.
6pm:
Everyone had arrived at the same time, no Bridgerton wanted to be last. Daphne had nearly crashed into Eloise and then there had been a fight to get in through the door in which Michael had been pushed and ended up cutting his knee and his hand. Still Simon had been last through the door, having waited for everyone else to go in, and so his team would go last. Gen didn't care, but Eloise and Anthony were not at all happy. Gen was already on her second glass of wine. Simon wreaked of the cigarettes he only smoked on game night having excused himself multiple times to go into the garden. Penelope was already considering faking sickness or simply eating something that she knew would make her barf so no one could accuse her faking it.
The red team went first and shouted over each other. Garreth holding his own suprisingly well for just his second game night. The first one was before he and Hyacinth were even dating. There was a brief debate about whether Colin had included too many actions in his descriptions and then they had moved on. They had all gotten through the first round and it was the red teams turn again when the first fight happened. Poor Gareth had landed world. "A country." He'd stated. "Really far away. It has mountains I think... and chocolate and skiing." All sorts of guesses had been thrown out, but the time had run out. "Switzerland guys." The poor boy had said.
Kate had glowered at him. "Are you stupid? Switzerland isn't far away and what were those descriptions anyway?" She'd asked.
Hyacinth got to her feet. "Don't you dare talk to him like that Kate. You're not better than any of us even if you think you are."
"Okay..." Colin had defused the situation. "We still got three so we're off world." Penelope had shot him a smile for defusing the situation. Maybe he'd learned from last time, but that would be wishful thinking.
Penelope was next to get on the wrong side of the Bridgerton siblings when she mixed up two actors.
"Seriously Pen that was dumb." Fran scolded.
"How stupid do you have to be to confuse Michael Cane with anyone?" Benedict added glowering at his sister in law. Gen took a gulp of wine, wondering if this time her husband would believe his gallery was on fire. She knew he wouldn't.
Colin stood up. "Don't you dare accuse her of being stupid! At least she didn't need a brother to bribe her way into college."
Benedict raised an eyebrow. "She wouldn't know anything about family support would she?" Silence fell. Benedict had gone too far. Gen downed the wine. Lucy's jaw dropped. Penelope was ready to eat the chicken salad that had made her gag that morning. At least sickness would get her out.
"She would." Eloise snapped. "She's a Bridgerton." Silence filled the room. Gen mouthed sorry at Penelope and everyone was watching her carefully. Was it too early to fake labour? The answer was yes, but Penelope was tempted anyway. Knowing that Benedict would not apologise to her tonight, Penelope suggested the game carry on which it did.
The next few turns went smoothly and then poor Lucy confused Finland and Sweden and all hell broke lose. "What a stupid mistake." Benedict declared angrily.
Gregory, who had had more than just the one bottle of beer Violet had allowed him had stumbled to his feet. "Don't talk to her like that." He had snapped, shooting him a glare.
"Christ Anthony, how much did you let him drink?" Kate asked unhelpfully.
Eloise scoffed. "Unlike you Kate, he was actually focused on doing well for his team."
Kate shook her head. "It's not my fault my team are stupid." She declared. "Penelope chose the teams, clearly she rigged it."
Simon chose that moment to step out the room, not even trying to hide the fact his is going for a cigarette. Philip just behind him, claiming he was going to look at some plants outside.
Colin stood up, glaring at Kate. "As if Penelope would do that, she isn't delusional like you and she'd never cheat!"
Kate narrowed her eyes. "Delusional? Just because you think you have more brain cells then me, which for the record you don't."
Lucy's eyes have widened as she watches the exchange in horror. Gregory having drunk far too much to do anything. Michael placed a hand on her shoulder, which seemed to snap Francesca out of her game night mood and she leaned forward to say something to Lucy. The two women get up and walk out the room, Michael behind them.
Benedict who has carefully watched the scene stands up. "Penelope may not be the brightest, but she most definitely didn't rig this. She once accidentally ate mum's cupcake and brought an entire large Costco cake to make up for it. She couldn't possibly have the balls to rig something like this."
Colin seemed ready to punch his brother, so Penelope decided it was time to play the sickness card, clamping a hand over her mouth and running from the room in the most dramatic way she could. It worked. Colin has followed her. "Pen?" He asked, reaching a hand to steady her.
"I really thought I was going to be sick." She said as an explanation as to why she went running.
Colin laughed. "We both know you just needed to get out of there." He states. "But to be honest so did I, so I'll go along with it." He added with a small smile.
They take the moment they needed. A crash startled them, followed by a shriek of pain. Everyone came running into the living room, to find Gregory stood on the coffee table, his foot having gone through the glass. Blood spurted like something out of a horror movie, onto the carpet below him and worst of all everyone in the room stood frozen. No one making an effort to help Gregory.
"What happened?" Penelope demanded.
"Genius over there," Benedict gestured to Gregory. "tried to attack Kate." He stated. Lucy's eyes could not be any wider then they were.
"To be fair," Gen cut in. "Kate did call him some names."
"His leg seems to be stuck." Anthony stated, finally snapping into action and doing something. He couldn't pull Gregory out and several siblings shouted at him to stop before he did any more damage.
"I'll call for help." Michael said, leaving the room.
Penelope knew it was the last thing she should be worried about, but the white carpet she loved so much was well and truly ruined, as blood dripped onto it. She shot Colin a glare.
Game night In laws:
Gen: @Lucy how's Greg?
Lucy: Alive. Leg isn't great. No more rugby for a while. Kate and Anthony and Francesca and Michael are with us cause Violet still has the kids.
Lucy: Kate and Gregory are still arguing.
Simon: We tried to pick our kids up, but Violet said they were asleep. I think she just doesn't want to have to deal with it.
Michael: Yeah she doesn't. How's the carpet @Penelope
Penelope: Ruined. Colin knows he fucked up by offering to host game night.
Philip: Is he doing the Bridgerton grovel?
Lucy: The what???
Penelope: Yeah he is.
Gen: It's three stages @Lucy
Michael: One is the apology. They keep saying sorry.
Gen: Then two is wild love declarations.
Simon: And three is sex.
Lucy: Oh so that has a name.
Simon: Yeah
Michael: And that's why we haven't let Garreth into this chat cause him and Hyacinth are too young.
Lucy: Erm... Kate just threatened to scalp Anthony cause he told her to be nice to Greg.
Lucy: What do I do?
Gen: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Penelope: Bridgerton 101 is only get involved of absolutely necessary.
Gen: Like if they're about to kill each other.
Michael: And even then you gotta decide is it worth it.
Philip: They hold grudges. Francesca hasn't forgiven me for when Amanda put a frog in her bed.
Penelope: But Bridgerton's do hate frogs 🐸
Gen: Why have we never just brought frogs to game night?
Lucy: Good God, what have I gotten myself into?
The Whole Fam:
The boss: Children... why is one of you in hospital??? Why is that one of you DRUNK??? Why did I just catch Francesca with a CIGERETTE??? Why has Penelope's lovely carpet been ruined??? Worst of all WHY are half of you shouting that no one won???
The boss: Oh now you all go quiet.
The boss: Articulate is banned.
The boss: And before you all tell me your adults, adults don't behave the way you do... T
he boss: Don't make me uninvite you all from this summers holiday...
The boss: Fine you're all banned. I'll just take the children.
The chat without Mum:
Benedict: Did we just wrangle a summer of free babysitting by ignoring Mum?
Anthony: I believe we did.
Kate: She has no idea what she's done.
Benedict: Game night for the win!
Penelope: But Colin and I are never hosting again.