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proudly belonging

Summary:

Buck wakes up on June 1st feeling different. It's Pride Month, and he's part of the community for the first time. It feels big and good and natural. Freeing. He also happens to have his loving boyfriend by his side.

 

or buck's first pride month and all the feelings about it. tommy helps (and shares some of his own feelings)

Notes:

for bucktommy week prompt: pride

this was genuinely emotional for me, which is why it's so short. pride is a very personal thing for me, and so it was hard for me to write. i considered writing sth else but i couldn't, in the end. so short but sweet it is!

enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The moment Buck wakes up, the air feels different. He knows exactly what day it is, and for the first time in his life, he feels like he belongs.

He smiles stupidly against Tommy’s fluffy hair in his face, curling his arms tightly around his boyfriend. The other man makes a small sound and warmth bursts in Buck’s stomach when Tommy curls closer to him, seeking his warmth. The sun is shining into the room, something Buck is more than used to, but something Tommy detests - Buck sometimes leaves the windows uncovered if only to see how his boyfriend hides against him.

He’s so goddamn lucky.

32 years old, and it’s the first time Buck’s going to be celebrating Pride for himself, not as an ally but as part of the community. The word “bisexual” rests like a comfortable blanket on his shoulders, something so cosy and right, making him feel at ease. He’s free, and only now he’s realising what that means.

He has plans to drag Tommy out to a Pride Parade, an outfit already prepared, for both of them. Buck adores Tommy (more than he should for the length of their relationship), but that man has 0 style and he will not be underdressed at Pride. The few times he went with Hen and Karen, Buck made sure to dress to fit, but now he’ll get to wear his flag colours.

For the first time, Buck will be part of Pride, a proud bisexual, with a boyfriend. He really is winning this.

“Thinkin’ hard?” Tommy’s voice pulls him back to the present, and Buck smiles down at his boyfriend.

“Hardly thinking,” Buck teases back. “It’s early, baby, go to sleep.”

Tommy groans and stretches, miles of skin for Buck to appreciate. He slides his hands to rest on his boyfriend’s waist and breathes as the other man settles back into his arms with a slight hum.

“Happy Pride,” Buck whispers after a moment of calmness.

“Happy Pride, baby,” Tommy whispers back. “Your first Pride as part of the community.”

“Yeah…” The words fill him with happiness until Buck feels like he’s a helium balloon, only kept in bed by Tommy’s bulk pinning to the sheets. “It’s different.”

His boyfriend snorts. “I bet.” He falls silent for a while, before shifting in Buck’s arms, cheek pressed against his naked chest. “I cried at my first Pride, you know.”

Buck hums, encouraging but not pressing. Talking about his past is hard for Tommy sometimes, even after all the therapy and progress, and he’ll never pressure the man into more than he’s ready for. They had totally different experiences before coming out, and Buck’s still in awe of this wonderful man.

“It was a lot of feelings, more than I was expecting,” Tommy continues eventually. “I didn’t- I hid for so long it was strange to stand in the sun with everyone else. Be part of the community I convinced myself I hated. I felt like a traitor.”

“Oh, baby…”

Buck gathers his boyfriend in his arms and pulls him fully on top of him, Tommy going easily. Like that, with all the ugly emotions bared and fresh, Tommy seeks support and safety, and Buck’s always honoured to give it to him. It’s his first Pride and here he is, with his boyfriend shaking subtly in his arms. 

It’s not perfect, but it’s theirs.

“I know better now, but it was rough for a while. I’m glad you won’t have to go through it.”

He smiles and tugs at Tommy’s hair until the man is looking at him with those dark blue eyes. They’re a bit red, and he kisses his boyfriend softly, licking into his mouth. There’s no intention to go further, just to comfort, and they fall into it easily, rolling around in the bed.

“Well, I happen to have this amazing boyfriend who’s leading me the whole way,” Buck teases gently, kissing all over Tommy’s face as he presses him into the bed. “I’m set for success.”

Tommy laughs, but his eyes are soft. “I’m glad to help, but it’s mostly you, baby. You’re amazing.”

Buck ducks his head, feeling a flush work its way to his face. It’s been a journey, but a joyful one. Evan Gerrard and occasional homophobic remarks can’t take this joy from him, and he can’t wait to share it at Pride. With Tommy.

“We’re both amazing, then,” he decides eventually. “And we’re going to be even more amazing at Pride.”

Tommy groans playfully. “Do I get to see the outfit before I have to wear it?”

“Nope!” Buck says with a smile. “I promise it’s nothing crazy, just a bit more…fun than your black henleys.”

“You love my henleys.”

“I do.” They stretch over Tommy’s shoulders so perfectly, and Buck loves taking them off his boyfriend. “But they’re not good enough for Pride, so… Trust me.”

“Of course.”

Buck beams down at him and drops, nuzzling against Tommy’s neck. He’s brimming with affection and excitement, everything in him finally settled. It’s as if he’s been looking for his whole life, and he finally found it - in himself, and in this wonderful man that looks at him as if Buck hung the moon.

He’s free, he’s going to experience his first Pride like that soon, and even with all the pain, there’s so much joy in Buck’s life. He couldn’t ask for anything better.

Notes:

leave a few comments if you liked this little thing 💜 hope you're having an amazing pride month, however you celebrate (even if you're not out or not able to celebrate, it's okay. it's still your month)

tomorrow's fic will be spicy ngl, so you have that to look forward to!

see ya then

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