Archive of Our Own ^beta

Buck wandered to the safe location that had been set up to deal with the aftermath of the tsunami. He was sopping wet and covered in dirt, cuts, and bruises. When he wiped at his face, his arm came away bloody red. He had Christopher’s glasses wrapped around his neck and was very unprepared for when he saw Eddie. The look on his best friends face after he said he’d lost the little boy only lasted for a second before Eddie saw his kid in the arms of a strange woman. Buck followed him with his eyes, swaying a little when he saw Christopher was here. He was alive. He was safe.

“Buck?” Bobby said, coming over to the young man. “What’re you doing here? You’re not cleared to be in the field.”

Buck turned, looking up at the man with wide eyes. “We-we were at the – at the pier.” He glanced back at Christopher and Eddie, then back at Bobby. “The water, Cap…the water.”

Buck gasped and started to fall down, suddenly completely out of breath.

“Hey, easy,” Bobby said. “Easy kid. Chim? Hen? Need you over here.”

The two paramedics came rushing over, getting Buck on his back and assessing him while Bobby stood over them, fretting. His cuts were superficial and other than some bumps and bruises, they determined that he was dehydrated. They got Buck to a cot and laid him on it and then Hen started an IV.

“Rest here for a bit, kid,” Bobby said, patting his shoulder. “I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

Bobby sat quietly by Buck’s side. They could’ve left awhile ago, but Buck’s IV bag was almost empty and Bobby wanted him to get all the fluids and rest he could. The kid had been through so much the last year and he worried what effect this tsunami would now have on him.

“Alright, Buckaroo,” Bobby said quietly. “Let’s get you inside.”

Bobby didn’t even think about taking Buck back to the kid’s loft and instead brought him back to the house he and Athena shared. Buck stumbled out of the car, letting Bobby hold him up as they headed in. Athena wasn’t there yet, which Bobby thought was probably for the best at the moment.

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen,” Bobby said. He knew Buck did best with direct orders and instructions. Or better, at least. “You’re going to go get cleaned up. I’ll leave some clothes outside of the bathroom. When you’re done, come sit on this couch. I’ll make some food.”

Buck nodded, but when he went into the bathroom, he could only stare at the shower. The thought of being underwater again was suddenly terrifying. Bobby frowned when after twenty minutes he still hadn’t heard the shower running and the sweats and t-shirt he’d left out for the kid were still on the floor in front of the door. He left the leftovers in the oven to keep warm and headed for the bathroom, knocking gently.

“Buck? Everything okay in there?”

Buck didn’t respond and Bobby, assuming the boy maybe fell asleep on the toilet, announced he was coming in. He wasn’t asleep on the toilet or in general. He was standing in the middle of the bathroom, staring at the shower.

“You going to get in?” Bobby asked gently.

“I don’t-I don’t want to be wet,” Buck said quietly.

“You have to get cleaned up, kid.”

“I know.”

Bobby sighed and then said, “You need help?”

“Christopher?” Buck said, turning to him, suddenly panicked. “Where’s Christopher.?”

“Christopher’s fine,” Bobby said. “Right now we just need to worry about Buck, okay?”

Buck nodded warily and turned back to the shower, but didn’t move.

“Come on, arms up,” Bobby said. “

Buck lifted his arms and let Bobby strip him from his shirt and then step out of his pants. Bobby left the underwear for a minute, against his better judgment because they had to be uncomfortable with how wet they were too.

“Stay here,” Bobby ordered. He grabbed a wash cloth and headed to the kitchen. He grabbed a mixing bowl and filled it with water before coming back.

Bobby dropped a bar of soap in the warm water, then the wash cloth and then started at Buck’s face. He gently wiped the grime off the young man, rinsing it in the basin until he had to go change the water, which he did in the kitchen. They could deal with the water fear tomorrow. Finally, he’d finished wiping the boy down.

“Think you can get dressed now?” Bobby asked gently.

Buck nodded and once Bobby had stepped out of the bathroom, he stripped off the underwear and dried himself. He pulled the sweatpants on, then the faded 118 shirt that Bobby had picked out for him. Both were too large on him. Bobby was waiting on him in the hallway and walked him to the kitchen where he placed a plate with a leftover stuffed pepper in front of him. Right now he just wanted to get the kid fed and to bed.

“Come on, just a few more bites,” Bobby coaxed. Buck had eaten less than half of the pepper and filling and he wanted to get a little more into him.

“Not hungry,” Buck mumbled. “Just want to sleep.”

“I know,” Bobby said. “Are you sure you can’t just eat a little more for me?”

Buck looked up at his pleading mentor’s face and sighed. He took a few more bites and then pushed it away. “No more.”

“Alright,” Bobby sighed. “I’ll save the rest.”

Bobby led Buck to bed, helping him under the covers and then tucked them around him gently.

“Come get me if you need me, okay?”

“Okay, Bobby,” Buck said quietly.

Buck slept for over twelve hours. He was dead to the world at 2AM and 1PM and when 2PM rolled around, Bobby went into the room. If the kid was going to sleep that night, he needed to get up now. Bobby knew this thanks to all the odd hours he’d worked as a fireman. Maddie had gone to Buck’s house for him and packed him a bag filled with clothes and any other necessities he’d need for a few days and dropped it off that morning. Bobby had a feeling he needed to keep the kid close for awhile.

“Come on Buck,” Bobby said, gently rubbing his back. “Time to get up, buddy.”

“Mmm,” Buck mumbled, turning away and shoving his face further into the pillow.

“I know,” Bobby laughed. “The bed is so comfy, but if you don’t get up you won’t sleep tonight and then you won’t sleep tomorrow night. It will be a whole thing.”

Buck pushed himself away from the bed and looked at Bobby. “I only just went to sleep.”

“You’ve been sleeping since last night.”

“Woke up,” Buck said, rubbing at his eyes. “A lot.”

“Why didn’t you come get me?”

“You were sleeping.”

“Next time, wake me up,” Bobby said. He patted Buck’s back and smiled. “Now, you wake up. I’ve got coffee for you.”

Buck groaned and got up. He went to the bathroom first and used the toilet, then frowned at the sink. He froze up, unable to turn it on and then sighed and just doused his hands with the sanitizer instead.

He ate the rest of the bell pepper Bobby had saved for him and said, “Thanks for last night, Bobby. I guess I should probably get going.”

“Get going where?”

“Home,” Buck said.

“I don’t think so,” Bobby said. “I had Maddie stop by your place and pick up a few things. I think it’ll be better if you stay here for a bit. Yesterday had to be rough and you shouldn’t be alone.”

“No, Cap,” Buck protested. “I can’t impose on you and Athena like that.”

“It’s not imposing,” Bobby said. “Because I insist.”

“You and Athena can’t want me here for days. Come on, you’re newlyweds.”

“Tell you what, Buckaroo,” Athena said, walking in the room with a mug. “I’ll let you know when you start overstaying your welcome.”

With two of them ganging up, it was harder for Buck to refuse. And so he stopped and just nodded. “Alright.”

After he’d finished eating, he went back to the guest room. Maddie had packed him some clothes, but after he’d pulled on a new pair of underwear since his others were presumably still in the bathroom and stinking of salt water, he pulled on Bobby’s sweats again. Then he took stock of everything in the bag. Lots of spare clothes, his toothbrush, hairbrush, and then, to his slight embarrassment, underneath everything was a stuffed bear.

One of his earliest memories was of Maddie giving him the bear. Back then he’d been three or four and the bear new, but after over twenty years, it was looking a little worse for wear. But he loved the thing. There was a reason he still had the comfort item and why Maddie would’ve found it hidden in his pillowcase and stuffed it in his bag. He pulled it out and looked at it with a little smile, and then clambered back into the bed. Bobby probably wouldn’t even know he was napping for at least an hour and surely Buck would be up by then.

Bobby came looking after twenty minutes and sighed when he saw Buck curled up on the bed. He pushed the door open wider and came in, stopping when he saw Buck was holding a stuffed bear in his arms, the ear of it tucked into his mouth.

“Kid,” Bobby said softly, rubbing his back. “You gotta get up. It’s too late for you to be sleeping. You can have an early night.”

“No,” Buck whined, stretching out and trying to push Bobby away, but the man just chucked.

“Come on, wake up. You can introduce me to your friend.”

Buck blinked and then turned as red as a fire engine as he realized his Captain was seeing him cuddling with a stuffed teddy.

“Sorry, Cap.”

“Nothing to apologize for,” Bobby said. “Other than you napping when I told you it was time to be awake.”

“I’m tired,” Buck whined.

“I know,” Bobby said. “Come on, you can keep me company watching movies.”

Bobby pulled Buck up and pushed him out of the room before the younger man even had time to set the bear down.

Buck had gone to bed at seven thirty. Bobby would’ve liked to keep him up for at least another hour since he knew Buck never went to bed before ten if he could help it, but the boy had been close to tears. It turned out it was a good thing he’d turned in early because it was going to be a long night.

At nine, Buck was awake. He whined, kicking out in his sleep and woke up gasping. He’d been dreaming, but that was a loose description as it hadn’t been pleasant. He pushed himself up and out of the room. It was dark, too dark in there and so he went toward the light. Bobby and Athena were on the couch in the living room watching the same movie they’d been on when Buck had gone to bed. When he stumbled in and collapsed in the arm chair, they frowned.

“Buck, you okay?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah,” he said. “Fine.”

“Are you sure because you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Buck didn’t answer and just curled up on himself. He had the bear in his hands and figured they’d seen him hold it the rest of the day, might as well not care if they saw it now.

“Hey,” Bobby said, moving over to him. “What’s wrong?”

“Bad dream,” Buck mumbled. “Water everywhere. Couldn’t find Christopher. Couldn’t find way up. Everything was dark.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a nightmare alright,” Bobby said. “You want to go back to sleep?”

Buck shook his head and Bobby sighed. The boy was wrecked.

“How about a warm drink?” Athena offered up. “I can make some tea or maybe some hot chocolate?”

“Chocolate, please,” Buck mumbled.

“Coming right up, Buckaroo.”

She brought him the mug of hot chocolate with a healthy dose of marshamllows on top and he took it gratefully in one hand and Bobby was quick to tap his other hand.

“Both hands,” Bobby said. “I don’t want you spilling that on yourself. It’s hot and you’re a little shaky. Can you let go of the bear for a bit?”

Buck frowned. “No.”

“Come on, he can sit next to you while you drink.”

Buck almost said no again, but he sighed and placed the bear next to him. When he finished the hot chocolate, he let Bobby lead him back to bed. At midnight, he was awake again. And again at three, and then four, and then six. At eight, he figured it was probably best to just be awake. He felt bad having woken up Bobby twice, but he’d just been so scared. On the next night, he shifted back and forth on his feet.

“Buck, you have to get clean,” Bobby said softly. “You haven’t taken a shower since the tsunami. You can take a shower and then I promise you can go to bed.”

“I can’t. I don’t want to be wet,” Buck said softly.

“I know and I understand, but it’s the only way for you to get clean. And bud, I’m sorry, but you’re starting to stink.”

“It’s fine,” Buck said. “I can put on more deodorant and I can use more sanitizer.”

“Evan,” Bobby said quietly. “You know you can’t bathe in sanitizer. For a variety of reasons, all of which you know.”

Buck shifted again and looked at the shower. He and Bobby were standing in front of it and Bobby was blocking the door.

“Can’t we just do like before?”

“That won’t get you clean. That was fine for getting some of the grime off, but you need to actually shower.”

“I don’t want to be wet,” Buck said again. “On my face, my head. Feels like drowning.”

Bobby hummed thoughtfully. “What about a bath?”

“You want me to sit in a body of water?” Buck said, his breath hitching.

“Think about it. Water won’t be pouring on your head out of control and  you’ll always be touching the bottom.”

Buck chewed on his lip and looked down at his feet. “Will you stay?”

“If you need me to, I will.”

Buck cried the entire time. From the moment the water started running all the way through until he was out and wrapped in a towel. It was the worst when Bobby helped him to wash his hair because he needed it to be washed. He’d done the trick he had used when his kids were small, covering the face with a cloth and using a cup to control it, but Buck wasn’t having it. The second he was clean, Bobby was draining the tub and holding the kid.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Bobby said softly. “All done.”

Buck managed to dress himself, though he did opt to pick a shirt out of Bobby’s laundry basket much to the man’s chagrin.

“Alright, kiddo,” Bobby said. “Ready to try going to bed now?”

Buck climbed into the bed and Bobby covered him gently.

“Got your bear?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah.”

“Good,” Bobby said. “And if you wake up, what are you going to do tonight?”

“Come get you.”

“Right,” Bobby said. He moved to the door, one hand straying to the light switch. “Good night, Buck.”

“Bobby?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you keep the light on?”

“Do you think that will help you sleep?”

“I don’t like the dark.”

Bobby stepped back in the room and sat on the edge of the bed. “I’m not sure that lying here with overhead lighting is going to help you sleep.”

“Please?” Buck said softly.

“I’ll leave the bedside lamp on for you,” Bobby conceded. “But this one goes off.”

Buck chewed his lip and then said, “I think that will work.”

Bobby ruffled his hair, turned on the lamp, and then turned off the overhead lighting. “How’s that?”

“Can you leave the door open too? Just in case?”

“I can do that. Good night, Buck.”

“Night night,” Buck whispered.

Bobby shut the door almost all the way, just a couple of inches left and headed back to the living room.

“How’s the baby?” Athena asked.

“Scared out of his mind still,” Bobby sighed. “If I hadn’t seen his paperwork, I’d think this was something else.”

“Yeah, me too,” Athena said. “You want me to look into it?”

“I don’t know. It’d be hard to forge. Are we sure he’s not just young and traumatized?”

“Could be.” Athena took a sip of her wine. “You tuck him in with the teddy bear?”

“Yeah,” Bobby sighed. “I did.”

Buck woke up and for once wasn’t in the dark, but the dream he’d had had been awful. It was dark in the dream and everything was wet. Why was everything wet? He let out a little bit of a cry as he realized that he’d had an accident. Buck sniffled and got out of the bed, rubbing at his eyes and pulling at his pants. The only thing he could think was that he needed Bobby.

He headed for the master bedroom and pushed open the door gently. Both Bobby and Athena were tucked into the bed and sleeping soundly. Buck hated to wake them. But maybe Athena could keep sleeping.

“Bobby?” Buck whispered. He reached out and touched the man’s arm.

“Baby? What’s wrong?” Athena said, waking first.

Buck took a step back. “Sorry ‘Thena, you keep sleeping. I-I-I just need I need Bobby.”

“Well I’m awake now,” Athena said. “Bobby? Bobby wake up.”

“I’m up,” Bobby said. “I’m up. Buck? What’s going on? Did you have another bad dream?”

“Uh-huh,” Buck said softly.

Bobby rolled over and turned on the bedside lamp and then looked at Buck, assessing him. “Hey, Athena, I got this. You just sleep, okay?”

“Alright then,” Athena said, knowing from her husband’s tone that something had happened that Buck wouldn’t want her to see.

Bobby cuffed Buck behind the neck and led him to the bathroom, stopping only to grab another pair of his sweatpants for the kid.

“I’m sorry,” Buck whispered. “I didn’t mean to.”

“I know,” Bobby said. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

Buck allowed for Bobby to strip him and clean him back up, stepping into the sweatpants. When he was dressed again, Bobby led him back to his room and ushered him into bed next to Athena.

“You stay here,” Bobby said softly. “I’m going to go take care of your bed.”

Buck’s face was completely red and he shook his head. “Stay with you.”

“I’ll be back, ten minutes okay?”

Buck didn’t listen. He climbed out of bed and followed Bobby and the man decided to just let it happen. No use in upsetting the kid or waking his wife, though he was fairly certain she was just pretending to sleep.

“Alright kiddo,” Bobby said when he’d finished changing the sheets. There was a waterproof mattress on the bed and Bobby was glad for that now. He turned and picked Buck up and placed him in the middle of the bed. “Let’s try to sleep again, okay?”

“Can’t yet,” Buck mumbled.

“Why not? Do you need to go potty first?”

Buck blushed again at the childish verbiage, though he knew he deserved it. He shook his head.

“Then what’s up? Why can’t you sleep now?”

“You have to give me my smacks first.”

“Your what?”

“Smacks,” Buck said. “For peeing the bed.”

“No one is going to smack you for that, Buck,” Bobby said. “I promise.”

“I don’t want to wait. I know you will,” Buck said. “Please just get it over with.”

“I won’t,” Bobby said firmly. “No one is going to smack you for an accident and if someone ever did, they were the ones that were wrong.”

“But…”

“No but’s,” Bobby said firmly. “So here’s what’s going to happen. You are going to get some sleep. Your options are to sleep in here or in the big bed with Athena and me. And in the morning we are going to have a talk. So what’s your decision?”

“Sleep here,” Buck said, rubbing at his eyes. “Alright then. I’ll stay until you fall asleep. And if anything happens again, you come and get me just like you did this time, okay? You did just the right thing.”

When Bobby came back to bed, Athena opened her eyes. “You change your mind?”

Bobby sighed. “We’re going to have a chat with him in the morning. If we think he’s lying, then yes, I want you to look into it.”

Buck laid in bed long after he’d woken up in the morning, staring up at the ceiling. He’d kept his secret for a long time. Longer even than he thought he’d be able to. He’d thought first they’d find out after he was traumatized when that kid, Devon, had plummeted to his death on the roller coaster. Then he thought for sure after that disastrous date with Abby when he’d choke on bread. And again when Maddie came back. Then when Maddie was missing, he was sure they’d all noticed he was doing some dropping. And of course after the fire rig exploded on him. But by some miracle, he’d kept it all a secret. The tsunami had changed it all though. He’d had one too many traumatic events and now he didn’t care anymore.

When he couldn’t lay down anymore without it hurting, Buck pulled himself from the bed and headed out to face the music.

“Where’s Athena?” Buck asked.

“She’s visiting May,” Bobby said.

Buck took a seat at the kitchen table and gladly took the glass of water that Bobby handed to him. Only for him to shake so badly that he immediately dropped it. Bobby whirled around.

“Buck, don’t move,” Bobby said.

“I got it,” Buck said, reaching for the broken glass.

Bobby could only see the broken glass and Buck’s bare feet and shaking hands. “No. Sit up and put your feet up on the chair. I’ve got it.”

“I’m a firefighter. I think I can handle a bit of broken glass.”

“Yeah, but I’m not going to let you,” Bobby said. “Feet up. Now.”

Buck listened, bringing his feet up to the chair and sighing as he watched as Bobby cleaned up his mess. He was quiet when he was handed another glass of water and as he ate the eggs and bacon that Bobby had made for him.

“You ready to have a little chat now?” Bobby asked once the kid had ate his fill.

“Do we have to?” Buck asked. “You already know.”

“I have some suspicions,” Bobby agreed. “But you know we need to have a conversation.”

Buck curled up on the couch under a blanket. He’d been loaded with blankets the last few days because he just couldn’t seem to get warm.

“So,” Bobby said. “You want to tell me why your paperwork says you’re a neutral?

“Sometimes paperwork is wrong,” Buck said.

“I’m not sure if that paperwork would be wrong. What did you do?”

“I didn’t have anyone, Cap,” Buck said quietly. “My parents didn’t want me and basically disowned me after the classification. Maddie left me. I didn’t have anyone and I just wanted to be a firefighter.”

“You can be a firefighter and little. They changed that rule a long time ago.”

“But I’d need a regular caregiver and I don’t have anyone!”

“You could’ve asked for help,” Bobby sighed. “Immediately. I’m a caregiver, Athena’s a caregiver. Hell, Hen’s a caregiver. And Eddie.”

“It had gone on too long,” Buck mumbled. “And I liked living in my loft and having a life.”

“You can live alone as a little and have a life,” Bobby groaned.

“But only if I had someone,” Buck said. “And I didn’t.”

“Kid, you’ve got a whole team who would help you.”

“Am I fired?”

“Not today,” Bobby sighed. “But you’re probably suspended for even longer pending an investigation. Your paperwork will have to be updated. Have you been dropping?”

Buck turned away and Bobby took that as the answer he didn’t want to hear. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. Buck was definitely responsible for the majority of his gray hairs.

“Have you been taking blockers?”

“No!” Buck said quickly. “No, I promise. I don’t take those. I never do.”

“That’s good,” Bobby said.

“What happens next?” Buck said.

“What on Earth was that boy thinking?” Athena said angrily.

She and Bobby were sitting out on the back patio. Buck was inside and hopefully taking a nap, and they were using the time to catch each other up.

“He just kept saying that it was because he didn’t want to be alone,” Bobby said.

“That boy is not alone. He has all of us,” Athena said firmly. “Oh wait until I get my hands on him.”

“I know,” Bobby said. “But wringing his neck isn’t going to help anything.”

“It might help him get some sense in that damn mind.”

“It might or it might make him never trust you again,” Bobby said. “I’ve already told him that we’re not mad anyway.”

“Not mad? Not Mad? Bobby I am furious!”

“I think the disappointment is enough for him,” Bobby said.

The disappointment was enough. Buck was so upset with himself that he’d let everyone down and he wasn’t even really little. He waited until Bobby came and got him before he climbed out of bed this time.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Bobby said. “I thought I’d have to come in and pry you out of bed again.”

“Didn’t sleep,” Buck said quietly.

“That’s fine. Never said you had to.”

“Thena’s mad at me.”

“Yeah, she’s a little mad at you.”

“Because I lied?”

“That and you could’ve put yourself in real danger lying about your classification. And with you not dropping? That’s just a recipe for disaster.”

“I’m sorry,” Buck said quietly.

“Come on,” Bobby said. “Enough moping around. Come eat lunch with us.”

Buck trailed behind Bobby and tried to use the man as a shield when they walked into the room where Athena was plating the table.

“Now don’t try to hide from me, Buckaroo,” Athena said. “You know I can always find who I’m looking for.”

Bobby stepped away and automatically Buck reached out for him.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Bobby said.

“Youa re and ‘Thena’s going to get very upset and what if she gives me my smacks?” Buck whispered. “She probably does them real hard.”

“I’m not going to give anyone smacks,” Athena said. “But I am going to tell you that I’m not proud of your behavior.”

Buck hung his head and Bobby rubbed his back. “Remember what I said last night, Buck? You’re not going to get smacks for an accident.”

Buck screwed up his face and looked away from them.

“He’s right, baby,” Athena said. “No smacks for little boys with wet beds.”

Buck flushed a brilliant shade of red. He didn’t say anything during lunch, but nodded and shook his head as the lecture from Athena came. Bobby’d told him earlier that he would be in for it and he’d have to take it and so he did. And after lunch, he rested on the couch with Bobby until the man stood up.

“Well, I’ve got to get to the store,” Bobby said. “It’s getting late and if I want to be back soon.”

Buck got up and followed him to the door.

“What’re you doing?” Bobby asked.

“Going to store,” Buck said.

“You don’t have to come with,” Bobby said. “You can stay with Athena. I’ll be back soon.”

“No, I go with you,” Buck said firmly.

“Alright then,” Bobby said, deciding it was best to not argue with this. “Get your shoes on.”

As they walked through the Walmart, Buck kept close to Bobby. He kept his head down, not really caring about anything they were getting (though he did make a face when carrots were added to the cart), and was just happy that Bobby had not left him. He kept one hand on the cart, except when Bobby strayed a little too far away from it and Buck had reached out and grabbed a fistful of the back of his shirt instead. Bobby looked back and smiled at the kid.

“You okay?”

“Uh-huh,” Buck said quietly.

Bobby smiled and soon they transitioned from walking the grocery aisles to wandering the rest of the store. He hadn’t been lying when he said he’d wanted a quick trip and be back soon, but with Buck there, he thought he might want to give him the chance to pick out something he might need.

But Buck didn’t reach for anything as they walked. He kept his hand on the cart or on the back of Bobby’s shirt and watched the ground.

“Do you need anything?” Bobby asked. “We can pick up some things if you do.”

“No,” Buck said. “I’ve got the stuff Maddie packed for me.”

“That was a small bag,” Bobby said. “You sure you don’t need anything else? Or want anything?”

Buck was quiet.

“Hey, you can ask for things.”

“Can we get apple juice?”

Bobby let out a sigh that was a little bit of a laugh. “Yes, Buck. We can get apple juice.”

“I-I-I don’t think I need to go to sleep,” Buck said.

“Buck,” Bobby said. “You’ve been yawning for over an hour and were almost just asleep on the couch.”

“I was just-just resting my eyes,” Buck said.

“Come on,” Bobby said, hoisting the younger man to his feet.

Buck grumbled as Bobby led him to the bedroom and whined as he was pushed onto the bed. Buck was already basically in pajamas, but Bobby did pull the socks of the boy’s feet.

“Bobby,” Buck whined. “I really don’t need to.”

“What’re you scared about?” Bobby said. “Bad dreams?”

“Yeah,” Buck said quietly. “And what if it happens again?”

“Does it happen often?”

Buck shrugged a little bit. Of course it happened often. Even if he hadn’t been dropped in years, he couldn’t run from the bed-wetting. Especially given the nightmares.

“Buck,” Bobby said gently. “Do you normally wear something?”

Buck shrugged again and rubbed at his eyes.

“Here’s the thing,” Bobby said. “It’s late and you’re tired. We don’t have anything for you tonight, but we can get you something tomorrow. You need to sleep though.”

“I don’t want to have bad dreams again,” Buck mumbled.

“How about if I stay with you tonight?”

“But you sleep with ‘Thena,” Buck said quietly.

“And tonight I can stay with you,” Bobby said. “Look, if you promise to go potty and get back into this bed and then try to sleep, I will go put on my pajamas and come back in here and go to bed too.”

It was a hard bargain, but he accepted. Bobby led Buck to the bathroom, leaving him there, and went to his bedroom to pull on pajamas. Buck used the toilet, sanitized his hands, and then when Bobby wasn’t in his room yet, he went to the master and climbed into that bed, waiting. When Bobby came out of the master bath, he was only slightly surprised to find Buck waiting for him.

Buck looked up at the man through tired eyes. He had his left thumb in his mouth and his right hand was gently rubbing against his shirt. Bobby was starting to think he was going to have no shirts left because Buck kept stealing them out of the laundry.

“Hey, kid,” Bobby said softly. “I thought you were going to sleep in your bed.”

“Waiting for you,” Buck said.

Bobby smiled and came over, picking up Buck and carried him out of the room. “Do you want to say night night to Athena?”

Buck nodded sleepily and placed his faced in Bobby’s neck, letting the older man carry him.

Athena was curled up with a book in the living room, but she placed it to the side when the boys came in.

“Well looks like the two of you are all ready for a sleepover,” she said. “You take good care of Buckaroo, won’t you Bobby.”

“Always do,” Bobby said with a smile.

“Ni-night,” Buck said sleepily.

“Night night sweet boy,” Athena said. “You be good for Bobby now, okay?”

Buck nodded and let Bobby bring him back to his room and tuck him in. The man lied next to him and Buck shifted to rest his head against Bobby’s chest.

“I really think that therapy would be good for you.”

Buck shook his head immediately. He had stopped crying but was still whimpering as Bobby helped to dry him off. Buck still hadn’t been able to get into a shower and Bobby could only cajole him into a bath every couple of days and washing his hair was a struggle.

“No,” Buck said. “No therapy.”

“Why not? You know I’ve been to therapy. So has Athena. So has nearly everyone at the 118. You went before and it helped, didn’t it?”

Buck looked away. The last time he’d been in therapy had been awful. He’d never told Bobby what happened, but maybe now was the time?

“I didn’t like it.”

“Why not?”

Buck chewed on his lip and lifted his arms so Bobby could put him in his shirt for the day. Once it was over his head and he was hidden for a moment he said, “She said sex would help.”

“Your last therapist?” Bobby said.

“It didn’t help. I didn’t want it to happen. I don’t wanna go back.”

“Evan,” Bobby said firmly. “Did your therapist have sex with you?”

Buck nodded warily. “I didn’t want to but she said it would work. I was crying and wanted to stop and be better.”

“Okay, well that’s absolutely not what’s supposed to happen in therapy,” Bobby said. “And I think you know what happened if you said no.”

Buck whimpered and shook his head. “It wasn’t like that. I consented.”

“Not if you were crying like that. That’s not consent. And she was in a position of authority over you.”

“No more therapy,” Buck said firmly. “Or showers.”

“We’ll discuss therapy,” Bobby said. “But the showering thing is non-negotiable. You have to be clean.”

Buck shook his head, whining a little bit as he was led out to the kitchen. Athena was pouring coffee in a mug and she handed it to Bobby before pouring another one for her. Buck reached for that mug and she raised an eyebrow.

“’Thena,” he said. “I need coffee.”

“I don’t think so,” Athena said. “You are in no place for caffeine right now.”

“Need caffeine,” Buck said mournfully. “Please?”

“No caffeine,” Athena said firmly. “Water or apple juice?”

Buck stomped his foot in frustration looking very much like the little boy he was, but didn’t yell or complain. Athena let him get his frustrations out, not bothered in the slightest as he worked out his big feelings. And when he finished his foot stomping, she handed him a glass of apple juice, making the decision for him.

He took it and drank a large gulp of it. “I love apple juice.”

Bobby and Athena laughed. They knew he did. Since he’d been here, they’d gone through nearly two gallons of the stuff and Bobby was already thinking about doing another store run to get some more. Maybe when he got off his shift.

Buck frowned. He’d been watching Bobby over breakfast, which he did every morning now, and something was wrong. When Bobby got up, Buck trailed him like a duckling.

And when Bobby put on jeans for the day, Buck ran to the front door and started to pull on his shoes so he was ready.

“What’re you doing, Buck?”

“Where’re we goin?”

“I am going to work,” Bobby said. “You are going to stay here with Athena.”

Buck frowned and shook his head. “I go to work too.”

“You know you can’t,” Bobby said firmly. “You haven’t been cleared medically yet and besides, they’re still discussing suspension for your trickery regarding your status.”

Buck’s lower lip started to wobble. “I go too.”

“Come on, Buckaroo,” Athena said gently. “Don’t you want to have a day with me? We can have our feet kicked up and watch some movies?”

“I want to go with Bobby,” Buck said. “I can-I can be good.”

“You’re very good, Buck,” Bobby said. “But you can’t be at work right now. So I’m going to go, but I’ll be back at six. And you’re going to stay right here with Athena and keep her safe for me, okay?”

Buck chewed his wobbly lower lip and looked up at the man. He was sitting on the floor in front of the door. He had both shoes on, but neither of them were tied. Bobby knelt down and gently pulled the shoes off and picked the boy up, bringing him to the living room and setting him on the couch. He hated that as he walked out the door, Buck was crying again, but he had to go in.

Bobby checked in with Athena several times throughout the day. Ordinarily, he wasn’t one to be on his phone on his shift, just a text here and there, but today he needed his own assurances. Athena could handle Buck, but he was worried nonetheless. Athena sent pictures, most of which had Buck with red eyes and a pout. He refused to nap and Bobby knew why. If he had an accident while he slept, well, he wasn’t going to want the woman to help clean him up.

The door opened and Buck turned to look as Bobby walked in. He had been sitting on the floor by Athena’s feet while she carded her fingers through his hair. She had a Pixar movie playing for him and he was sucking on his thumb, but when Bobby walked in, he immediately reached out to the man.

“Daddy!” Buck said, making grabby hands.

Bobby froze. One minute he’d been walking toward the boy, ready to pick him up and the next he was frozen and staring. He stumbled backward, shaking his head a little bit.

“Daddy’s had a hard day today,” Athena said quietly, reaching out. “Watch your movie for a minute okay?”

Buck whimpered some and lowered his arms while Athena got up and led Bobby to their bedroom.

“Now I know you are not going to disappoint that little boy out there, Bobby Nash.”

“He called me daddy,” Bobby said thickly.

“I know,” Athena said. “It’s only been a matter of time before he slipped and called you that instead of Bobby. That boy’s been looking up to you like a father since the day he arrived at the 118.”

“I never thought anyone would call me that again,” Bobby said.

“You know, he’s not the only one who has been ignoring his classification to some degree,” Athena said. “You haven’t had a proper little since the fire took your kids.”

“I didn’t deserve to have one,” Bobby said.

“That’s bull,” Athena said. “And you are not about to upset that little boy out there.”

Bobby nodded and took a few deep breaths and left the room. It may have caught him off guard, but the happiness that swelled inside him was huge. Buck was his kid. And he was missing.

“Buck?” Bobby called. “Buck where are you?”

Bobby checked the bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom. He checked around everywhere and Athena did too. Buck was missing.

Buck was going to go home. To his home. He hadn’t been there in two weeks and as nice as it was to play family with Bobby and Athena, they weren’t. Bobby was just his boss, Athena was just his boss’s wife, and Buck was just his employee. He would go back and pack up his things and then he could run again. He couldn’t be a firefighter again, but maybe he could do something else. He didn’t know what yet, but he’d figure it out.

He didn’t have his truck and he wasn’t able to tie his shoes. In frustration, he just shoved the laces loose into the sides of the shoes. It was a sensational nightmare, but he had to make do. He would just go back to his loft and then go. And then the worst possible thing happened. It started to rain. Buck covered his head with his hands, but it didn’t work to do anything. There was no way he could go back to his loft in this and going into a store like this would just put him back in some room to wait for Little Protective Services. The cops would be called which meant Athena which meant Bobby and neither of them did more than pity him. Besides, he was only in a residential area. It wasn’t like he could duck into a store anyway.

Everybody was canvasing the area. Of course the rest of the team had been told about Buck’s classification. Maddie knew, but Buck had promised her that he was taking care of himself but that he kept that part of his life private so she’d respected that. Chimney and Hen both had suspicions, much like Bobby and Athena and hadn’t been surprised. Eddie was probably the least surprised, but he understood why Buck did what he did. And all of them were upset with Bobby because now Buck was probably lost and definitely terrified, though only Bobby and Athena knew of the true extent of his water phobia.

“Buck!” Bobby called.

“Buck!”

“Buck!”

Buck faintly heard his name over the sound of the rain, but he didn’t move. He’d found himself against the side of a house, curled up and using a broken down cardboard box to try and shield himself from the rain. It didn’t do a great job, but maybe it was better than rain beating down directly on his face.

“Buck!”

“Anything?” Bobby called, answering a call.

“I got nothing, Cap,” Chimney said. “Do you know what direction he went in?”

“No,” Bobby said. “I don’t. Probably he headed to his loft if I had to take a guess?”

“Well Eddie took up that way but he hasn’t found him yet either. And Hen went east and nothing. Does he have his phone? Maybe we can call it and see if it pings off the cell tower?”

“He didn’t take it,” Bobby groaned in frustration. “It’s sitting in my living room. He’s alone Chim and he’s deathly afraid of water right now.”

“We’ll keep looking, cap.”

Bobby wanted to scream in frustration. He had his flashlight and was trying to shine it in yards without disturbing anyone, continuing to call for his kid. Because that was his kid. He frowned when he heard something, just three blocks away from his house.

“Buck?” he called. It sounded like sobbing. Maybe the bump of recycling.

Bobby moved closer to a house that was dark, all the lights out and shined his flashlight. This happened once before to him but he’d been greeted by a family of raccoons. But this time, there were no raccoons.

“Buck? Evan!” he said. “Evan!”

Bobby ran to him and despite the boy’s crying and squirming. He picked him up and rocked him, shushing him.

“Shh, shh,” Bobby said. “Daddy’s here. It’s okay. Daddy’s got you.”

Buck clinged. He wrapped his arms and legs tight around the man and pressed his face into Bobby’s neck.

“It’s okay,” Bobby murmured. “We’ll get you home and dry. It’s okay. Daddy’s here.”

Bobby barreled into the home and straight to the master bedroom. He called Athena as he stripped Buck of his wet clothes, simply saying that he found him and they were home before hanging up. He didn’t have time for anyone else, not even his wife. He wrapped Buck in a large, fluffy towel, drying him from the rain. Buck sniffled and brought a hand up to wipe at his nose and Bobby quietly knocked it aside and held a tissue to his nose.

“Blow,” Bobby said softly. Buck complied. “Good boy.”

Bobby threw the tissue out and picked Buck back up. He kept up constant reassurances as he dressed Buck, starting with the pull-up that the kid didn’t even fuss at. Bobby wished he would fuss over it because then that would be mean he was back to normal. Then he pulled on his sweatpants and an old 118 shirt, keeping him in the comfort clothes he’d been living in.

“Come on, baby,” Bobby said softly, tucking him into the bed and laying down next to him. “Why’d you run away?”

“B-burden,” Buck whimpered. “You-you don’t want me.”

“No, that’s not true. I was shocked,” Bobby said. “You calling me daddy just took me by surprise, that’s all. I just needed a minute to process, that’s all.”

Buck sniffled again and Bobby was sure that on top of everything else, they were going to be dealing with a sick kiddo over the next few days.

“What was he thinking?” Athena murmured. She had come home immediately after calling the rest and telling them the boy had been found. She climbed into bed on the other side of Buck and started stroking his hair.

“Thought he was a burden,” Bobby said. “He was going to run away again, I think. But we got him.”

“I am putting a GPS tracker in him tomorrow, I swear,” Athena said. “He is never going to scare me like that again.”