Chapter Text
reo isn't a reckless driver, and for that nagi trust him with his life. and he couldn't help but feel it's his fault that all of this happened, nagi felt his body go numb when he finally realized they crashed with another car. his car belt that was loose around him because he was too lazy to put it right didn't help that much making him hit his head to the side.
reo that was the one driving had the belt well placed, but the other car crashed by his side of the car, so reo got most of the impact. nagi could feel how some liquid dripped down his head and he closed his eyes as he felt dizzy, a headache striked him fastly after the dizzyness. it was his fault, wasn't it?
some minutes before, reo and him were arguing about such a silly thing that even him doesn't know why it started, but reo lost the focus on the road and that left this scenary. a car crash, nagi's head slammed to the window and even the glass shattered, reo with his eyes closed that he couldn't even tell if he was alright.
and it's not like nagi's dizzyness make him able to check up on reo, maybe he should have placed the belt correctly and this wouldn't have happened, maybe nagi should have not started the discord between them and this wouldn't have happened. his ears ringed as he heard some voices, maybe he was dying.
he blacked out after he heard sirens, and he couldn't recall what happened after. he just woke up in the hospital, on the bed while his parents were there, they looked worried. but their appeareance to nagi's life was surprising, he couldn't recall when was the last time he saw them.
"seishiro, dear." his mother started, she looked relieved that he was awake and alive. "we came here as soon as we could, how are you felling?"
he tried to talk but his throat felt sore, nagi looked around the room to see that he was infact in a hospital, his gaze wandered until he felt like talking wouldn't be a hassle.
"sore." he mumbled, trying to even be heared but his throat felt too sore to even try to raise his voice, and for nagi it was such a hassle to even try to do that.
his father that was quiet the whole time sighed, he felt a bit relieved to see his first and only son alive. then the memories of that incident strike him like a flash, the crash, reo shutting his eyes as the impact was full on him, how his head was forcefully slammed to the window, making some glass cut his face. good thing it didn't reach his eyes, he wouldn't have know what was he going to do if it did.
"reo, where is he?" nagi asked, didn't cared if his throat hurt right now. he felt bad that he caused the incident, he wanted to say sorry to him.
his parents looked at each other worriedly and then looked at his son, nagi's dad sighed and opened his mouth meaning he was the one who was going to drop the information.
"well, you see seishiro." his father said hesitantly, not finding the right words to continue. "you lasted two days to wake up, but.." he sighed.
"your friend doesn't have the same luck, he's in a coma. the doctors doesn't know if he'll ever wake up."
okay, his parents dropped a bomb to him and expected him to not be disturbed? Because the looks they gave him when he parted his lips in disbelief and his half-lidded eyes were now fully open showed that they didn't expect that reaction.
well maybe him being apathetic all the time was the reason of their expression, but he couldn't help but feel hopeless. how was he supposed to react when someone tell you that a loved one is in a coma? that the doctors themselves doesn't know if he will ever wake up, meaning that some day they will need to shut down his life method since maybe he will never be able to open his eyes once again. maybe this was a dream, there's no way it's even happening right now.
nagi will wake up in any moment, on his bed with his phone in hand meaning that he just fell asleep while playing, or even better, he waking up with reo besides him while the other tells him something like; "you are being really clingy today, and that's a lot because you're clingy always."
he thinks, maybe this was how bachira felt when rin died on the hospital bed, the same hospital he is in── nagi still can remember how his cheerful friend cried for months, that memory still mortifies nagi, and still after a year bachira can't bring himself to move on.── or this was how isagi felt when he got in a car crash and he was no longer able to play soccer, the sport he loved.
he wasn't able to relate to their pain, certainly still isn't. but he can get a reference with what he's feeling now, sadness and pain. a strange feeling nagi hasn't felt since his parents left him alone when he was six because they decided to go on a work trip. (leaving him alone with his grandparents, when they were still alive.)
"seishiro, are you okay?" his mother asked, approaching the bed and placed her hand on his arm as a comforting way.
it would have make nagi feel good, if it wasn't that he felt pain at the touch, making him wince and glance at the arm his mother's touching. it's wrapped in a bandage, carefully and well-made, he remembered once again that the arm in fact was the one that was slammed to the window, so maybe it was bruised and with cuts. however, his mother noticed him wince and inmediately retracted her hand as she gave a muttered apology.
he just bring himself to look at the window that was in his hospital room and nodded at her question before, he was okay, he wants to be okay.
but he knows that he was definitely not okay, no when reo was in other hospital room because of his fault, he was the one to blame anyways.
nagi after was informed that he had sprained his leg ligament due to the accident, somehow, he just doesn't remember what hit his leg at the accident so he can't give a proper explanation to himself of why he got that injury, since at that moment he just felt pain, also discovered that he had a minor concussion. and obviously, like he expected, he had bruises all over his body in strategical spots and some cuts on his head and arm. what a hassle.
at the third day of him being awake, he was able to get visits outside his family members. being isagi, bachira and of course, chigiri. the three were relieved to see nagi okay, but they still had some worrysome for reo (who they visited after nagi.)
"nagicchi, i was so worried for you!" bachira whined, but didn't try to approach and hug him tightly due that he isn't brainless, he knows that the injuries still hurts.
to say that nagi was confused to see bachira there was understable, the boy since rin hasn't stepped in the hospital and said that for him it only brought bad memories so he mostly avoids it.── and nagi certainly doesn't want his friend to be in a place he doesn't want to, nagi knows how broken he was last year.
"when we got the news about the accident we couldn't believe it, and those pricks who calls themselves doctors didn't let us visit you or reo!" chigiri complained, a bit annoyed at the doctors but then his eyes softened. he was glad nagi was alright.
nagi looked at chigiri with his usual bored self, but at least it seems he was interested in what the redhead was talking about. nagi missed his friends, they don't see each other frecuently so he was quite glad that they even bothered to visit him.
"don't call them that chigiri, they are just doing their job." isagi said with a nervous smile as he looked at chigiri and shaked his head when the other scoffed."we are glad you're good, nagi."
nagi just gave a nod and looked down at his lap, gripping tightly the blanket that was over him, and sighed. he just wanted to sleep or even see reo, maybe he could. will the nurses let him see reo? he knows how he's doing because for some reason his parents come and talk to him about his condition. they just knew nagi was a close person to their son.
"uh, yeah. thanks for coming." he said now looking at the three that were watching him carefully.
"don't worry nagicchi! i know reo will wake up soon." bachira assured him and smiled, or tried. it was obvious this hospital ambient wasn't comfortable to the other.
chigiri and isagi nodded at bachira's words, and after a while they just talked. nagi just apporting with shrugs, nods and shakes his head, like usual. in some moment, they bid their goodbyes, tell him to get rest and wished him a fast recover. and they left nagi alone, with his thoughts.
He couldn't help but wander about the fight they had before, before the incident. and the fight was so dumb, really;
"sei, can you drop the phone for a moment?" reo asked him that day, side-eyeing him and then his gaze went back to the road. "you literally spent all our date looking at your phone."
"don't wanna, shut up and let me play in peace."
and that's how it started, yeah, dumb. he started the fight, he didn't pay attention to him that day, did he? he doesn't even remember the whole date since he was in his phone, he was the worst boyfriend ever. and that's what got reo pissed, how he never took him seriously then reo turned his head to look at him, and they missed the red light that gestured to stop and the other car crashed them due to it being drived fast.
after some weeks, nagi was able to leave the hospital with minor things like the bruises that were still seen. his parents stayed with him until he got discharged from the hospital and was able to go back home, after that they just stayed three days after going again for their work. not like nagi cares anyways.
"how's he?" nagi asked as he approached while dragging his feets with his usual lazyness to reo's parents who had eye-bags, they seemed to not have even take a good night rest, and how could they?
reo's mom sighed and shaked her head, reo haven't made a sign to even wake up, not even a slight move, or even slightly answer, the doctors even feared the worst case ever; brain death.
nagi didn't want to think of that possibility even if reo's dad was sure that they needed to withdraw his life support even if they didn't want to, because he was so convinced that reo indeed was brain dead. instead reo's mom clinged in the idea that it isn't possible and won't agree with her husband in this thing, thing being deciding if they will keep reo alive. ──fortunately, reo's mom still winning the discussion and nagi hoped that she will never lost it.
"he's still in that state, but he will wake up soon, don't worry. he's a strong guy." reo's mom said determined, glaring at her husband when the male sighed and shaked his head.
"i know he is." he leaned on the wall and let out a sigh.
he knows reo's a strong guy, and he will surpass this. he just know it, he kept visiting. not everyday, because sometimes he's just lazy for it or because isagi convinces him to come along with him to keep him distracted for all the stress. he sighed when he was lying on bachira's bed, with bachira lying his head on chigiri's lap while isagi is sitting on the floor.
"heyy! nagicchi, how's your leg doing?" bachira asked, turning his head to look at nagi.
"good."
and it wasn't a lie, his leg was definitely good. bachira nodded and turned his head again to be in a comfortable way, chigiri who was looking at his phone just turned to see nagi.
"and you? how are you doing?" chigiri asked, his glance towards nagi as he spoke then looking at the male who was lying his head on his lap and stroke his hair.
"stressed, i guess."
now that answer wasn't the correct one, because everyone glanced at him and sighed in unisone. nagi would say it's impressive since they did it in sync, isagi then was the next one to open his mouth;
"well, you shouldn't be. everything's going to be fine." isagi said as his gaze went back to his sport revist.
"but-"
"no but's, nagicchi!"
and that's how they spent their sleepover, all cozy and snuggled all together to keep nagi away from his thoughts. and he did forgot about his issues at that moment, he will see the next day when all it strike him again.
and after that whole thing happen three months, nagi had visited reo a lot during these months. not everyday because he feels he had no right (and because sometime he's too lazy). in one of his visits, were he go to see reo and give him a resume of what he did throught the day, something happened.
reo finally opened his eyes, he seems to be adjusting his eyes to the light as his eyes wandered through the room and in that very moment nagi walked outside at his own pace to inform it.
"reo is awake." was the only thing he could say, reo's parents stands up fastly as they heard those words.
reo's mom gave her husband a look that said 'told ya' as she rushed to the room, after that reo's father followed. nagi didn't made any move as he wasn't going to enter right now, didn't wanted to disturb mikage's family reunion.
doctor walking towards reo's room as he heard the news of his awakening, and nagi just gave a fast text to the three boys, telling them reo finally woke up. he finally brought himself enter to the room, reo's worried gaze changed to one of curiosity, frowning as he tilted his head and glanced at his mom.
just by the eyes, his mom knew what her son was trying to say, so she simply said. "it's just nagi, your boyfriend"
reo shaked his head and looked confused and even mortified, nagi took a curious glance to the doctor, who just sighed.
"well, we have made some revisions to Mikage's state." the doctor started, he sighed as he had to continue talking. "and it's more likely that he is suffering amnesia, we don't know how much he forgot."
and nagi didn't wanted to believe what the professional said, how could he? reo looked the same as troubled as him.── thanks to what the doctor said.── the boy took a glance to nagi and frowned slightly as if he was trying to remember him.
but eventually looked away as he saw that he wasn't able to, nagi didn't wanted to even approach so he just bid his goodbyes to reo's parents and reo himself, who seemed that was going to take a nap again. reo just to be polite waved him a goodbye.
his first thought was to vent to his friends, but who? bachira is too troubled with his own problems.── working at a coffee shop while the regular happens to be the brother of your deceased boyfriend, who keeps saying is your fault he's dead.── isagi is out of the town since he went to visit his parents for the week, and nagi doesn't want to drop his problems throught the phone.
the last hope was chigiri, who after he texted if he can come over the redhead accepted almost inmediately. and now they were here, chigiri looking at him directly as nagi was lying on chigiri's bed.
"how's he? i read your text." chigiri said, going to lay besides him and looked at the ceiling.
nagi turned his heard to look fully at chigiri, and sighed as he went to look at the ceiling too, chigiri noticed the turmoil going throught nagi and that made him so curious. nagi finally was going to talk.
"he forgot everything." he mumbled avoiding chigiri's surprised glance."the doctors doesn't know how much, but certainly he doesn't remember me."
chigiri stayed silent for a moment, nagi went to see at the redhead who had his eyebrows furrowed as he processed about what nagi just said to him. eventually, chigiri finally thought about it.
"so, are you telling me that reo doesn't remember anything about us?" chigiri asked and groaned when nagi nodded slowly.
he closed his eyes as he tried to distract himself, this was obviously his fault, his fault that reo lost his memories. chigiri caressed nagi's hair for comfort, nagi couldn't help but feel that reo was the one who was doing these ministrations so he leaned to the touch.
"rensuke might come later, we were supposed to watch a movie later." chigiri talked again, looking at nagi curious."wanna come?"
chigiri ask it like if they weren't going to watch the movie in this room anyways, nagi just shaked his head as he didn't wanted to disturb the couple in their movie night. chigiri just sighed and let him be, maybe he just wanted to be alone.
that settled in, nagi left minutes before kunigami arrived. he walked alone in his thoughts towards his house. what if reo never remembers him? what will he even do? nagi felt lost and there wasn't the one who directed him, who helped him to see the direction he was taking, reo wasn't there like always, to help him like he did even when they meet each other.
"fuck life, why is it so hard?" he grumbled as he kicked a rock until it go to other way and he was too lazy to even search for it and continue kicking it. nagi just wanted reo to remember him, but that was going to take a long time.
or even, he could never regain his memories, maybe reo wouldn't even love him like he used to before. and for the first time he felt fear to even think of that possibility. so he just shut down his thoughts and continued his walk.
"i'm home." he said quietly, knowing he's the only one who lives here, in this little space he calls home. it just became an habit when reo stayed at his home because nagi told him to.
no reply, but still his brain can remember a faintly "welcome home" from reo, who just said it back because he wanted to be polite. nagi went to throw himself on the bed, he turned on his phone and saw multiple messages from bachira and isagi, wanting him to elaborate things.
yeah, he forgot he just texted in their groupchat. 'reo woke up.' and just that, but he felt to lazy to even answer so he just slipped away the notifications, opened his game and tried to distract himself with it.
but then, when he was about to win, so close. bachira started a video call in the groupchat, he groaned and left the game to answer knowing that the call was because they wanted nagi to talk.
the only ones that joined the call were isagi and him, chigiri maybe still on his movie thing with kunigami and left his phone in do not disturbe mode and the other that didn't joined, reo, is still in the hospital so he most likely won't be in his phone.
"nagi seishiro, elaborate." bachira warned him, he was still on his work uniform, maybe he was in his break.
isagi on the other hand was stretching his legs like he does everyday because of his injury.── chigiri taught him how to when he didn't do it right.── his nerve damages that made him unable to play soccer ever again.
"yeah, you just left us with half-information." isagi joined the conversation when he stopped stretching and grabbed his phone to sit down on the couch.
nagi sighed and looked away his phone, he then looked back at his friends who were looking at him expectant. he sighed and looked away.
"reo doesn't remember anything, well, obviously doesn't remember us." he started, he certainly knows that reo remembers his parents since he wasn't confused by seeing them, even if nagi's lazy, the male is perceptive so he easily noticed he was only confused by him.
and reo met nagi first than the others, so it just make sense if he doesn't remember the others too. bachira almost dropped his phone and a voice too familiar told him to be careful, the boy just rolled his eyes but then he still had that surprise look on his face; isagi on the other hand, choked with his own saliva as he tried to regain his composure, his mom asked him if he was okay but isagi completely ignored her due to the shock.
"WHAT?!" was what bachira and isagi yelled in sync, nagi was starting to feel frightened that his friends always found a way to be in sync.
nagi stayed quiet for several minutes as he waited for his friends to recover from their shock. bachira tried to say something; isagi was lost in thoughts.
"and certainly, i don't even know if he will ever be able to regain his memories again." nagi mumbled, looking away as he does.
"what if he doesn't?"
bachira frowned at what nagi just said, and shaked his head. "don't say that! don't lose hope, he will soon"
nagi appreciated bachira's way to comfort him, so he just sighed troubled with everything that was going throught his mind and sighed, isagi hummed agreeing with what bachira said. they would have stayed talking a little bit more, but bachira's boss told him to get to work and isagi bid his goodbye telling him he needed to go since he's gonna do family things.
maybe he will go to visit reo tomorrow, it would be good, right?
tomorrow will be a better day, well, nagi wants it to be a better day. but he can't help but feel unease, what if reo never remembers him? he closed his eyes and finally fell asleep after rolling around the bed for several times.
the next day, he lazily woke up and went to brush his teeths and wash his face, he yawned after and went to eat a jelly he had in the fridge. after he ate he put some clothes and headed to the hospital, when he arrived he noticed reo's parents that were more lively.
nagi was glad.──or how glad his expression could show.── reo's parents haven't take a proper rest, so at least seeing them more relieved was cool. he walked towards them, to greet them and be polite.
"good morning, miss and sir." he said, bowing slightly for respect to his olders.
reo's mom smiled softly at him and greeted him back while reo's dad just smiled and gestured him that reo was awake and that he could enter.
"reo's awake, you may visit him." was the only thing reo's dad said, and it's not like nagi expected him to talk anyways.
when nagi enters the room he caught the sight of reo looking throught the window, as he was still lying on the bed, the sound of the door opening draw his attention making him to turn and look at reo curious enough.
"hi reo." nagi greeted and walked over, sitting on the chair besides reo's bed. perhaps dragged by one of his parents to be near him.
the boy being as polite he could be greeted back with a wave, and nagi could understand the pain he was in right now with his throat. and even, reo haven't talked for months so it was understable at least.
"i'm nagi seishiro." he introduced himself so reo can knows his name, the other boy nodded hummed. "and you mother already told you what i was to you, i guess."
reo's face was tinted with frustration but nodded slowly after that, the purple haired boy was a bit awkward, and nagi himself is an awkward person to even talk to, so it wasn't a surprise that after that no one opened his mouth to talk. reo was deep in thought while nagi looked at him.
"i'm sorry, it was my fault, i'm the reason why you're here."
reo frowned slightly and looked at him confused, nagi watched how the other started fidgeting his fingers and his gaze wandered around the room as he felt awkward, at least nagi could say sorry, right?
even if the other doesn't know why he's even apologizing for, and neither remembers him. he still can feel how uneasy reo was looking at him, how when he sat down the other flinched and gestured to back away. he couldn't really blame reo for it, since for him, nagi was a stranger.
"It's..." reo started and looked away, his gaze going to the window."okay?" he could feel the confusion tint in reo's voice.
nagi could hear how raspy reo's voice was, and how he started to cough after talking. nagi looked around and saw a water cup at the side and handed it to reo, who drank it slowly and carefully.
"be careful, don't force it if you can't." he mumbled and then grabbed the cup when reo finished drinking, he placed it where it was before.
reo just nodded slowly and looked at nagi, his gaze showed confusion, interest and suspicious. not to blame, completely understable. he could tell that reo felt disoriented and even overwhelmed, due to just wake up from an accident he doesn't even remember it happened, to wake up at a hospital with a male who you can't remember, and after being visited by the same male who apologized to him claiming it was his fault that everything happened.
nagi wouldn't blame him if the other just kicked him out, and will comply if he does. reo didn't try to talk again and nagi eventually left when his parents came in, waving goodbye to the family and leaving.
he will visit soon, not tomorrow because he doesn't want to overwhelm reo.