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Eddie knocked three times on Buck's apartment door, waiting less than twenty seconds before knocking again.
"Buck! Hey, it's Eddie. Can you open up?"
No response, just silence. Which only served to make the knot of worry in his stomach tighten.
Buck hadn't answered any of his texts or calls all day, which was entirely unlike him. Eddie had first tried to reason with himself that Buck was probably just catching up on sleep after the thirty-eight hour shift they pulled, but when morning turned into late afternoon with still no response from the other man, Eddie couldn't help but start to imagine the worst. It's only been a few months since the lightning strike, and as much as he told himself that Buck likely wasn't in any real danger, images of Buck pale and lifeless wouldn't stop flashing in his mind. For his own peace of mind, he had to see for himself that Buck was really okay.
So, after dinner he called and asked Carla if she could watch Chris for him, then hopped in his truck and booked it to Buck's right away. His jeep was parked in its usual spot when he got there, so he was definitely home.
Eddie knocked again, louder this time. "C'mon, man. I just need to know you're okay!"
He was once again only met with silence.
Eddie exhaled a long sigh and reached into his pocket, pulling out his spare key to Buck's apartment.
"I'm coming in, Buck!" He called out, before inserting the key and unlocking the door.
He pushed the door in and hurried inside, closing it behind him as he immediately began to survey the apartment. Aside from a couple dirty dishes in the sink, and Buck nowhere to be seen downstairs, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.
"Buck?" Eddie called up the stairs.
Just as Eddie was ready to climb the staircase, he froze when he heard what sounded like a shaky whimper echo from up top. In the next instant, though, he was running up the stairs. When he reached the top of the staircase his gaze immediately landed on the Buck-shaped lump on the bed.
"Buck, are you o–"
Eddie stopped in his tracks again as he reached the foot of the bed when the all too familiar scent of ammonia hit him square in the face.
Had Buck... wet himself?
A quiet sob from the lump of blankets snapped Eddie out of his brief stupor and prompted him to move closer to the other man.
"Buck, hey." He gingerly took a seat on the edge of the bed (though not before looking to make sure he didn't sit in a wet spot) where he assumed Buck's face was. "What's going on, man? Do you feel sick?"
The only response he received was a whine that was quickly followed by another sob. The sounds made Eddie's heart clench painfully, the knot in the pit of his belly further tightening once more.
"Buck, buddy, can I see you? I just want to make sure you're not hurt."
Buck didn't move or make a sound for a moment, but before Eddie could start full on panicking, the younger man slowly began to peel the comforter away from his face. Tufts of messy curls were revealed first, followed by two teary, red rimmed eyes, then lastly as the blanket came the rest of the way down, it revealed the other man's thumb... in his mouth.
Eddie's own mouth fell open in shock, and all he could do was blink down at his best friend in bewilderment for a solid thirty seconds. Until Buck's face crumbled and he began to cry in earnest.
"Whoa, whoa, okay–it's okay, Buck. It's okay." Eddie's hands flailed over the younger man in brief panic, before one landed on his bicep in a comforting squeeze, while the other fell back down to his lap. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to stare like that. I'm not upset or anything. You just caught me a bit off guard, that's all."
Despite his efforts to reassure him, however, Buck just continued to cry.
While catching Buck sucking his thumb had been an unexpected shock, the next words out of his best friend's mouth really took the cake for shock of the century.
"D-dada! W-w-wan' da-dada!"
Eddie was officially panicking and beyond confused now.
"Oh... o-okay, um, I can call Maddie and see if she can get into contact with your dad. Yeah," Eddie said, somehow managing to keep the panic out of his voice.
Buck didn't respond, instead he just turned onto his belly and cried into the pillow underneath his head.
Eddie leaned back and reached into the pocket of his jeans, pulling out his phone and quickly finding Maddie's number in his contacts list.
While the line rang Eddie took the time to do one of the breathing exercises his therapist had taught him.
"Hi, you've reached Maddie Buckley. I'm currently unable to pick up, but if you leave a message, I'll get back to you as soon as possible."
Eddie's gut twisted with anxiety at the pre-recording of the older Buckley sibling's voice.
Oh, right. It was Tuesday. Maddie had nightshifts on Tuesdays.
Biting back a groan and resisting the urge to face palm at his panic induced scatter brain, Eddie opened up his contacts again. The only other person he could think to call was Bobby. And not just because he's their captain, but because the older man was practically a second father to Buck and would know what to do.
He hit the call button as soon as he found Bobby's contact, waiting with bated breath as the line rang. Fortunately, instead of a voicemail picking up this time, he was greeted by his captain's voice.
"Eddie, hey. Everything okay?"
There was a node of worry in the other man's tone. Which wasn't surprising, considering that it was almost ten o'clock at night.
"Hey, Bobby. I'm sorry for calling so late, but uh, I couldn't get ahold of Buck earlier, so I came to check on him and... I don't know what's going on with him Bobby, but something's clearly wrong."
"What? What do you mean? Is he okay? Does he need to go to the hospital?"
"No, no. Nothing like that. Physically speaking, he's fine," Eddie was quick to reassure. "When I got here, I found him crying in bed and, um, well... it also seems like he had a, uh, an accident–the wet pants kind, I mean," he specified before Bobby got the wrong idea. "He was also calling for his dad a minute ago, too. I tried giving Maddie a call, but I forgot she's on shift tonight, so I wasn't able to get ahold of her."
Bobby was silent for a moment after Eddie's explanation, before eventually breathing out a deep, heavy sigh and speaking again.
"Okay, I know exactly what's going on." On the other end of the line, Eddie could hear what sounded like hurried footsteps and other muffled sounds he couldn't quite pinpoint. "Eddie, I'm going to need you to listen very carefully, and do exactly as I say–all with an open mind. Alright?"
Eddie swallowed nervously. "Um, yeah. Yeah, I can do that."
"Sometimes... Buck mentally reverts back to a child. It's called age regression. Athena and I found out about it about two years ago and have taken care of him when he's in that state of mind ever since: Athena is 'mama' and I'm 'daddy' or 'dada'. I know this might all sound a little unusual, but it helps him cope with his stress and trauma in a way that's actually healthy. We try to get him to age down a couple of times every other week to help prevent situations like this from happening, but a sudden regression being triggered isn't uncommon, either. It's especially been a lot more common ever since... ever since he got struck by lightning."
Bobby paused to take a breath. He still struggled to directly talk about the lightning strike without getting swept up in the emotions that came with the memories of that night and the days that followed. Eddie understood perfectly well.
The older man cleared his throat before continuing.
"I know this is a lot of information to take in all at once, and I'm sure you have questions–and I promise will do my best to answer them later–but right now I need you to just look after him until I get there. It's a lot to ask, I know, but–"
"Cap. Bobby," Eddie cut him off. "It's okay. It's not a lot to ask. While this is my first time hearing about something like this, it's not my first time handling a kid. And besides that, he's my best friend. I would do anything for him."
Bobby breathed a relieved sigh. "You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that."
The sound of Bobby's truck starting in the background filtered through the speaker.
"I should be there in the next fifteen minutes or twenty minutes. Until then, would you mind getting him cleaned up? I don't want him to end up with a rash. Who knows how long he's been wet."
"Yeah, sure thing."
"And would you also mind putting him into a pull-up as well? There should be a pack hidden somewhere in his closet."
"Yeah, of course. Not a problem, cap," Eddie responded without any hesitation.
Now that he knew what he was dealing with, Eddie felt surprisingly at ease now. He could finally think clearly now to help his friend in the way he needed. Even if that kind of help meant changing him out of pee-soaked clothes and bedsheets and putting him into a pull-up.
"Oh, and somewhere in the top drawer of his dresser, there should be an old, grey Minnesota hoodie of mine. That should help calm him down."
"Okay, gotcha."
"Thank you, Eddie, really. I promise I'll find a way to make this up to you."
"Don't even worry about it, Bobby. Like I said, Buck's my best friend."
"I hope you know how grateful I am to you, Eddie."
Eddie's lips quirked up. "That I do, cap. That I do."
After saying their goodbyes and stuffing his phone back into his pocket, Eddie turned his full attention back to Buck and went into dad mode. Mercifully, while the regressed man was still in tears, he was no longer wailing his lungs out like before.
"Hey, Buck. Can you look at me, please?"
Eddie set a hand on Buck's back and started rubbing circles into it, craning his neck to try and catch the other's gaze.
After a bit more coaxing, Buck finally lifted his face from the now tear stained pillow and peered up at Eddie. His cheeks were smeared with tears that still fell and a thin trail of snot ran over his upper lip, the sad sight making Eddie's heart ache.
Eddie gave him a warm, gentle smile. "There he is." Using the corner of his jacket sleeve, the man wiped under Buck's nose and at the wetness on his cheeks. "I talked to Bob–I mean, I talked to your dada. He said he should be here very soon."
Like a switch had been flipped, Buck's tears almost immediately began to slow. "D-dada?"
"That's right. Your dada will be here soon, chiquito. Think you can stand up for me so we can get you all cleaned up before he gets here?"
Buck just stared at him for a minute, almost as if he was searching for something in Eddie's eyes. When he seemed to have found whatever it was he was looking for, he nodded his head and moved to sit up.
Once Buck was sitting, Eddie guided him to the edge of the bed and helped him to stand. Buck wobbled on his feet at first, prompting Eddie to wrap an arm around his waist to steady him, only letting go once he was absolutely certain the regressed man wouldn't fall.
"Come on, precioso. Let's clean you up in the bathroom."
Eddie held his hand out for Buck to hold onto, not trusting Buck to be able to walk on his own without taking a fall. Last thing either of them needed was for Bobby to come and find out his kid got hurt on Eddie's watch.
Once they were in the bathroom, Eddie helped Buck out of his wet pants and underwear. Fortunately, Buck's T-shirt made it out unscathed, so he let it be.
"Are you okay with me cleaning you up, or would you like to do it yourself?" Eddie asked after getting a washcloth out and wetting it in the sink.
Buck just stared at the floor and fidgeted with the hem of his shirt for a moment, until he eventually pointed a finger at Eddie.
Eddie gave him a warm smile. "You got it, sweetheart."
He got down on one knee and immediately got to work wiping the cloth between Buck's legs and backside. It was considerably less awkward than he thought it would be. Whether that was due to their years of friendship or the fact that he really did appear like a toddler right now, or some kind of combination of the two, Eddie couldn't say.
Once Eddie had removed all traces of urine from Buck's skin and dried him off with hand towel, he stood back up and threw everything into the laundry basket. He then guided Buck to sit down on the closed toilet seat.
"You stay right here, okay? I'm just gonna go get you a pull-up and some clean bottoms real quick."
Buck slowly nodded, sticking his thumb back in his mouth.
"Be right back, chiquito." Eddie gave his shoulders a pat before backing away and walking back into the bedroom.
Eddie went into the closet and found the package of pull-ups, then he went over to his friend's dresser and found the hoodie Bobby had mentioned on the phone, as well as a pair of black sweatpants.
With everything in hand, the man returned to the bathroom.
"Alright, nene, let's get that little tushy dressed," Eddie said, setting the sweatpants and hoodie down on top of the counter.
Eddie helped Buck to his feet again, then had him hold on to shoulders as he slipped the pull-up up his legs and around his hips. Once that was done, he got the regressed man into the sweats and hoodie. Eddie watched as Buck's expression smoothed out and the remainder tension in his shoulders melted away as soon as he was wrapped in the oversized, cotton fabric.
"There. I bet that feels much better, huh, chiquito?"
Buck just nodded, bringing his hand back up to his mouth. Instead of putting his thumb back in, however, he instead began sucking and chewing on his sleeve. Eddie briefly considered stopping him, but quickly decided against it. Bobby didn't mention anything about there being pacifiers or teethers located somewhere in the apartment, so he doubted he would find either of those things even if he looked. Now that Buck was finally calm, there was no way Eddie was going to take away the only source of comfort he had right now.
"Would you like to watch some cartoons, buddy?"
The bedding still had to be changed, so Eddie figured cartoons would keep Buck distracted while he took care of that.
Buck silently nodded in response.
"Great." Eddie gave him a smile. "Would you be okay with me picking you up? I think the stairs might be a little too hard for you to walk down right now."
With how unsteady Buck still appeared to be on his feet, Eddie didn't trust him to be able to climb down them without taking a tumble.
Buck just nodded again.
"Okay. Put your arms around my neck, please."
Reluctantly letting his sleeve fall out of his mouth, Buck did as instructed and wound his arms around Eddie's neck.
"Now, on the count of three I want you to do a little jump, okay? One, two, three–atta boy!"
Eddie secured an arm underneath Buck's bottom and the other around his lower back, then walked out of the bathroom and towards the stairs. He carefully made his way down, taking one step at a time.
"Here we go, buddy."
Eddie gently deposited the regressed man onto the couch, then grabbed the remote and turned the TV on. He surfed through the channels for a minute, coming to a stop when he landed on an episode of Curious George playing on PBS. Eddie turned his head to ask Buck if he wanted to watch, but his words were replaced by a chuckle when he saw that Buck was clearly already emersed in the cartoon playing on the screen, snuggled into a corner of the couch with the sleeve of his hoodie back in his mouth.
"That answers my question, then," Eddie muttered to himself, fondly shaking his head.
"Okay, well, I'll be back in a minute, Cariño," he told him before turning and walking back upstairs to the loft.
Eddie stripped the blankets and sheets off the bed, bundling them up before lugging them downstairs to the laundry room. He threw them in the wash, then went back up to the loft to remake the bed. Thankfully, the mattress had escaped any damage, so all he had to do was fit it with clean sheets.
Just as Eddie had finished putting the new sheet of Buck's bed, he heard the front door being unlocked. Eddie leaned over the railing to look down, watching from above as Bobby walked in. Upon hearing the voices on the TV, the older man made a beeline for the living room. Eddie made his way back down to join them.
"Hey, baby."
At the sound of Bobby's voice, Buck's head snapped up in the man's direction and a grin spread across his face, sleeve falling out of his mouth.
"Dada!"
Buck immediately made grabby hands for him.
Bobby grinned back at him, making his way over to the regressed man in three long strides and wrapping him in his arms.
"You doing okay, little man? Eddie told me you were having tough time earlier."
"Scary," Buck mumbled into the man's stomach, tightening his grip on the back of his jacket.
"What was scary, baby boy?"
A muffled whine was all Bobby received in response.
Bobby chose his next words carefully. "Buck, muffin, did you wake up from a bad dream?"
After a brief moment of silence, Bobby felt the kid nod against him in confirmation.
Bobby's heart broke for his little boy. For practically as long as he's known Buck, the kid's always suffered from horrible nightmares, but ever since his coma, the level of intensity of his nightmares had escalated. Which had been resulting in more drops in headspace after the fact in past recent months. Bobby didn't mind perse (nor did Athena, for that matter), it's just that he hated to think about what could happen if Buck woke up too little to use his phone to call him or Athena after a nightmare.
Like tonight, for instance. If Eddie hadn't shown up when he did, Bobby didn't even want to imagine how long Buck would have been left alone for. Once Buck came out of headspace, Bobby was going to have a talk with him about the possibility of coming to stay at home with him and Athena for a little while.
"I'm sorry, monkey. That must have been so scary, waking up all by yourself like that."
"Mm-hm." Buck nodded again, unhooking a hand from around Bobby's waist and bringing his thumb to his mouth.
"No, no, little man." Bobby reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a blue pacifier. He uncapped it, then gently pulled the boy's hand away and pressed the silicone nipple to his lips. "This'll feel much nicer than your thumb."
Buck easily accepted the soother without any fuss.
"C'mere, buddy. Come to dada."
Bobby hooked his hands under his son's arms and lifted him up. He sat down in the same spot on the couch, setting Buck in his lap. The regressed man curled into him but kept his head at an angle that allowed him to see the TV screen while still being completely wrapped in the older man's arms.
"So, I take it this is the reason why you, Athena and Buck had to cancel on game night two weeks ago?"
The sound of Eddie's voice briefly caught Bobby off guard, having forgotten that the other man was still here in his need to reassure himself that his son was really okay.
"Oh, uh, yeah. Yeah, it is," he responded after a moment's hesitation. "Buck was having a hard time processing what happened with the gentleman on the cliff during our shift the day before that and needed a night to decompress and let go of his adulthood for a little while. And honestly... I needed a night of taking care of him just as much as he needed taking care of."
Eddie remembered that incident all too well. A bicyclist had called in and reported a man who appeared suicidal standing on the ledge of a cliff. Buck and Bobby had been the ones to make an attempt to talk him down, but unfortunately there was no getting through to the man, and he still ended up jumping despite their efforts. Buck hardly spoke or interacted at all with the team for the rest of that day.
"I get it. That was a really hard afternoon for everyone, but I know it was especially hard on you and Buck. I can definitely see why you guys needed to spend some time like this."
Eddie walked over to the armchair next to the couch and took a seat.
"So, does he usually get this young when he regresses?"
"It all depends. He can age down as high as seven and get down to as low as three months."
Surprise flashed across Eddie's face.
"Wow. He can really get that young?"
Bobby nodded. "He usually only gets below a year when he's feeling especially stressed out, or if he's gone too long without regressing. Most of the time, though, he stays anywhere between seven and one."
"So, I'm guessing he's around a year or year and a half right now, then? That's the impression I got at least, since he's only spoken a handful of words tonight. He was also pretty unsteady on his feet."
"You would be right." Bobby shot him an impressed smile. "I would put him at about eighteen months at best."
A small, almost shy smile crossed Eddie's face.
"You know, if you, uh... if you ever need someone to look after him when you and Athena are busy or anything, I'd be more than happy to babysit for you guys. If all three of you are comfortable with that, of course. I wouldn't want to overstep in any way."
"I'll have to discuss it with Athena, and Buck when he's aged back up, but I think it would be really good for Buck to have you involved in this part of his life."
"Hopefully they'll think so, too."
Bobby's smile softened. "I think they will."
Before either man could say anything more, the subject of their conversation let out a sleepy little whine. Redirecting their attention, they saw the little boy rubbing at his eye with a closed fist.
Bobby couldn't help outwardly cooing at the regressed man. "Are you getting sleepy, bug?"
Buck just whined again in response, turning his head to press his face entirely into the crevice between Bobby's neck and shoulder.
"Well, I better get him home before I have a grumpy baby on my hands," he said to Eddie.
Eddie huffed an amused chuckle. "Good idea. Somehow, I have a feeling a sleepy, grumpy baby Buck isn't much different from a sleepy, grumpy adult Buck. Am I right?"
Bobby breathed a quiet laugh at the other's accurate assumption.
"Once again, you would be correct."