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“What are you doing here.” Joel said flatly after he opened the door and saw who had knocked on his apartment door at nine o'clock at night.
“Well hello to you too,” Scott said with a playful smile. “We brought goodies,” he added on sweetly after Joel just stared at him for a few seconds, gesturing to the bag in his hand.
“Lots of goodies,” Gem said excitedly as she lifted up the bag she was holding, which was bigger than the one Scott was holding.
Joel eyed the two of them skeptically, “What are you trying to bribe me to do?”
Scott laughed and shook his head. “We're not bribing you. We're just here to hangout,” he said warmly. His gaze softened after a moment, the amusement melting into concern. “We heard about what happened with Grian.”
Joel tensed up and looked away from Scott immediately. “Not that it's any of your business. It's fine, I'm fine,” he said insistently, though it sounded a little too emotional to his own ears.
Gem shifted slightly so she was in Joel's direct line of sight. “Joel,” she started, waiting until he met her gaze, “Grian told us what he said to you.” Her voice was gentle as she spoke with her eyes filled with concern.
Joel swallowed hard as his gaze dropped to the floor. Of course Gem and Scott would take it upon themselves to check on him after Grian told them about what he had said. They didn't know the extent of the pain Grian’s words had dealt him, but they had been in his life just as long as Grian and Jimmy had. There were some things that the two just knew about him, it came with the territory of having known each other since they were five. They didn't know how much it hurt, but they knew that it hurt and that was enough for them to want to stop by.
Joel stepped back to open the door wider and silently invited them inside the apartment.
The two entered the apartment and took off their shoes before making their way over to the couch. Gem set her bag down on the coffee table with a light thump and then turned towards Joel. “Do you want to see the snack goodies first or the other goodies first?” She asked with a smile.
Joel raised an eyebrow at her as his head tilted slightly. “You brought mystery goodies?” He asked while his eyes darted towards the bag on the table in an attempt to get a peak of what it was. Gem's hands moved to block off the opening of the bag so he couldn't see into it. “Now I have to pick the mystery bag,” he said with a small laugh.
Gem beamed and reached into the bag and pulled out a massive fluffy light green and light brown diamond patterned sweater. She presented it to him with a bright grin before handing it over. Joel took it into his own hands carefully and marveled at how soft the material was. His fingers brushed over the fabric for a moment before he looked at Gem again. “We also brought some edibles and movies to watch. We figured that, since Jimmy is out with Tango tonight, we could have a chill night in.”
Joel blinked at her, looked down at the sweater in his hands again, then turned his head to look at Scott. He was sitting on the couch with his legs tucked up under himself. He offered Joel a warm smile when Joel looked at him. “You remember when you used to come to our house after my father left?”
Oh, Joel remembered. He had been spending the night at their house to get away from his own parents fighting, unable to stay with Jimmy or Grian since Jimmy and his family had been out of town and Grian’s adoptive parents didn't allow sleepovers during the week. It had been a fairly normal evening with the three of them in the garage, Gem and Scott excitedly showing Joel a song they had written and Joel enthusiastically cheering them on. Scotts’s father, Gem’s uncle, had gotten home earlier than he usually would and had asked Scott's mother, Melinda, if they could talk.
That night had ended in tears as Scott’s father admitted to cheating on Melinda and told her that he was leaving.
Joel remembered how he held Gem and Scott in his arms that night when they went to bed. The way they clung to him and sobbed into his shoulders as they laid in Scott's bed. The way he had heard Melinda finally break down when she thought they were all asleep. How in the months following he did as much as he could for them, helping out where he could and holding Gem or Scott or both of them late at night as they came to terms with the fact that Scott's father wanted nothing to do with them.
It had been a long year, but Joel secretly cherished those moments. It had been hard, but the Major family had willingly let him help. It was one of the few things that he had been good at.
“Yeah, of course I do,” Joel said quietly, allowing himself to be honest with the two of them.
“Well, we wanted to return the favor,” Scott said gently. “You've never let us take care of you the way you took care of us. So we're making you let us now.”
There was a sting that settled in Joel's eyes at Scott's words, the urge to cry welling up. “You don't have to. I'm fine-” he started to say, only to be cut off by Gem.
“Stop saying that,” she said firmly while dropping the bag onto the table again, abandoning the rummaging she had been doing. In a few quick strides she was in front of Joel and grabbed his shoulders with a careful grip. “It's okay if you aren't fine, Joel. We want to be here to help. Please?” Her voice was softer while she looked up at him with a pleading gaze.
He hesitated for a long moment, gripping at the sweater in his hands a bit tighter. “I-” he floundered while his eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to will the tears away. One of Gem's hands moved up to run through Joel's hair soothingly. Joel pulled Gem into a hug after a silent moment and she returned it immediately, wrapping him up in her arms in a mirror to how he had done for her when they were younger. The tears broke free as she squeezed him and he buried his face against her shoulder as he sucked in a shaky breath.
Now that she was holding him, Joel realized that they hadn't hugged in years. The last time had been before Joel's own parents split the following year, albeit for different reasons. Back before his messed up world had been flipped on its head to be even messier. Back before he started running away from his own problems.
Even when he stopped showing up at their house they hadn't stopped sitting with him at lunch when they were still in high school. They hadn't stopped inviting him to dinner and Melinda never stopped asking about him. Even when he more-or-less abandoned them, they still cared.
“I'm sorry,” he choked out, muffled against Gem’s shoulder. “I'm so sorry.”
Gem shushed him as her hold on him tightened a fraction more. “You have nothing to apologize for, Joel. It's okay,” she whispered.
He wanted to argue, wanted to tell her that it wasn't okay, but exhaustion was heavy in his muscles and he couldn't muster up the energy to give anymore weak refusals. He just slumped into the hug, not quite putting all his weight on her but letting her support him.
They stood like that for a little while before Scott tapped on Joel's shoulder lightly. “Let's get you changed into something more comfortable,” he said gently once Joel lifted his head up. The other reached up with both his hands and brushed the dampness from Joel's tears off of Joel's cheeks. Joel nodded slightly and pulled away from Gem’s hold reluctantly. She reached up after they parted and ruffled Joel's hair lightly.
“I'll get everything set up. Take your time.”
Scott led him away after Gem’s words, guiding Joel towards his own room in the apartment. Joel went along silently, his hands gripping at the sweater in his hands. It wasn't until he was standing next to his bed as Scott was looking through his dresser for some cozier pants than the jeans Joel was wearing that he finally spoke.
“Is this…” Joel trailed off. The sweater was knitted in a similar fashion to the sweaters that Gem and Scott had received as a gift on their last birthdays from Melinda. The only difference was that this sweater looked a little fluffier than the other two.
“Mum was saving it for your birthday coming up, but she called Gem and I yesterday saying that she just couldn't wait that long to give it to you,” Scott explained with his back still facing Joel, unknowingly confirming Joel's thoughts. “She wanted you to have one like ours.”
A soft noise escaped Joel's throat - something between a sob and a choked breath - before rubbing at his eyes with one hand in an attempt to physically stop the tears welling up in his eyes again. He was so sick of crying and the vulnerability it brought, along with the intense wave of shame that rocked through him at the fact that he was crying over a gift. An incredibly thoughtful and time consuming gift that Melinda had made for him.
The tears won and all he could do was stare at the sweater while they streamed down his face as he took in shaky breaths and breathed out a bit too harshly.
Scott returned to his side shortly after with a pair of Joel's dark brown joggers. He set them on the bed before easing Joel's hold on the sweater and putting it to the side with the pants. His hands returned to Joel's own and carefully squeezed them as he silently urged Joel to look at him. “She's always going to care about you. You've done so much for her - for all of us - and she doesn't want you to forget that you always have a place with us.” His hands moved from Joel's hands up to his wrists, over the leather jacket he was still wearing. “We don't want you to forget that,” he tacked on in a softer voice.
How was Joel meant to respond to that? He had spent years putting distance between himself and them because he couldn't stand the thought of his reputation or his parents’ reputation ruining Gem’s or Scott's or Melinda's and they were still allowing him a place in their lives. Even after everything, after so many years, they still cared.
He turned his gaze away, unable to hold Scott's gaze any longer. “I ruined Grian and Scar's relationship,” he said weakly after a minute to put everything out on the metaphorical table. Maybe if Scott understood how awful Joel was he would take Gem and leave and Joel wouldn't have to face the genuine words the other was saying.
One of Scott's hands lifted and tilted Joel's face up with gentle fingers so they could lock eyes once more. “Grian made his choices, Joel. Even if you and Scar hadn't kissed that relationship would have been on the rocks anyway.” Scott pulled Joel in then and enveloped him in a hug while tucking Joel's face against his neck. “You didn’t ruin anything.”
Joel melted into Scott's hold hesitantly, breathing in the other's scent. Scott's scent had always been a bit of a strange one; like a beach after an intense storm, almost electric in the way it filled his senses, mixed with the calmer scent of wildflowers. He couldn't find it in himself to say anything else, unable to process his thoughts in a productive manner. All he knew was that he was safe in Scott's arms and Scott's scent was familiar in that nostalgic way that reminded Joel of when they would scent each other as children.
He missed it, he missed them.
A hand soothed down Joel's back slowly as Scott let out a quiet hum. “Let's get you changed,” Scott said after a long moment. He didn't wait for a response, instead coaxing Joel into pulling back enough to allow some space between them. Scott took his time easing Joel out of the leather jacket, maneuvering Joel's limbs for him.
Joel gripped at his own arms the moment the jacket was off, suddenly hyper-aware of his body without the jacket in place. The sleeves of his tee were just barely long enough to cover his upper arms and his hands held the sleeves in place above his elbows. “Scott-” he started, startled by the amount of panic that colored his voice. Scott froze immediately where he was halfway through hanging Joel's jacket up. Joel took a second to breathe, fighting against the tightness that had grown in his chest. Reflexively his fingers dug into his arms slightly as he struggled to ground himself as the ring finger and pinky finger of his right hand brushed against scar tissue on his left arm from where the sleeve rode up a bit which made his breath hitch.
He always made a point to not look at his bare arms if he could help it, unable to face the visual reminder of when his father left that he had unintentionally inflicted on himself.
There was only one person who knew about the scars and that wasn't Scott.
Scott smiled reassuringly when Joel didn't continue to speak and finished hanging up the jacket before he turned around so his back was to Joel. “I won't look,” he promised.
The tension that had been building faded away at Scott's words and actions. Joel released his hold on his arms to shake his hands out, the lingering tingles of anxiety persisting stubbornly, and breathed slowly. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the direction of his laundry basket with a brief glance. Then he snatched up the sweater to pull it on, covering up the scars on his skin before he could get lost in his thoughts about it. If he allowed that to happen now he knew he would spiral hard and he didn't want to have to deal with that. Soon enough he was fully changed into the comfy clothing.
He wrapped himself up in a loose hug once he finished, practically drowning in the oversized sweater. “I'm done,” he said in a quiet voice.
Scott turned back around, still smiling, and moved over to be at Joel's side. A warm hand settled on Joel's lower back and he was being guided out of his room in a similar manner to how he had been guided to it in the first place.
Gem smiled brightly at them once they stepped out of the short hallway. “Welcome back!” She said enthusiastically as she bounded over to them and slid into place on Joel's other side. Joel leaned down slightly to nudge his head against hers lightly and she nudged him back in the same manner. “I ordered some pizza from your favorite place and got your favorite,” she explained, leading Joel and Scott over to the couch. Gem and Scott maneuvered Joel onto the couch in unison, Gem taking up the space on Joel's right and pulling him into her side. Scott was moving around to get one of the movies they had brought with them set up.
Joel wrapped an arm around Gem and relaxed into her as she threaded her fingers with his own before their clasped hands settled on her thigh. “Thank you,” he spoke quietly as she settled her head on his shoulder.
“We're always going to be here for you, Joel. Never forget that,” she said as her hand squeezed his lightly.
Scott settled onto the couch on Joel's left, sliding his arms around Joel and Gem to squeeze them both before Joel could respond. He looped his left arm around the other to hold him close as well. “You should visit Mum with us soon,” Scott said softly. “She misses you.”
A small smile tugged at Joel's lips at that. He rested his head against Scott's shoulder and went relatively limp now that he was being held up by the other two. “Okay,” he agreed softly. “I miss her too.” His attention went to the TV then as his arms squeezed the other two slightly. They returned the squeeze in kind and let out quiet, happy hums in unison. Joel breathed out a satisfied sigh, settling into himself slightly under the pressure of the two of them leaning against him.