Chapter Text
The door clicks open at two am.
This gets Akito’s attention.
So he does what you’re supposed to do when someone returns home: get up and greet them—well, kind of, because for starters, he feels horrible, so greeting the returnee normally is out of the picture, and second, he feels he’ll go insane if he doesn’t get up. “Touya,” he manages. Geez, he sounds disgusting. How long has it been since he’s spoken anyway? Three hours? Four? Five? Was he sober? Drunk? Maybe he’s dead. God forbid, he can’t tell anymore.
“How was the date?” asks Akito, stumbling toward Touya—it’s him, right? The blurring figure at the doorstep. It has to be. He reaches out and just grabs, doesn’t really know what it is he’s grabbing, but it’s soft. Probably Touya’s jacket, he distantly realizes. “Wait, what time is it right now?” Why is he interested, why is he asking these questions, why did he suddenly ask what time it is, he doesn’t want to know. If he did, dying would seem easier than anything else. He also would prefer to not know when he started drinking, when he became so suddenly interested in Touya’s private life, and all that stupid shit, either. “Two in the morning?” he randomly guesses. He’s definitely slurring his words now. The more he speaks, the worse he feels, too. “You didn’t have to come back, you know.”
"Akito.” The way Touya calls his name is different from usual 'cause, apparently, there’s only a tone that Touya uses for him (An’s words, not his). Only for the person called Shinonome Akito. But, right now, that tone’s long gone, and it’s as if they were strangers.
“Geez, what’s the deal? No need to be so angry, I’m just pointing out how you’re returning so unusually late.” He’s definitely drunk, he wouldn’t be spewing nonsense like this if he were sober.
“Akito, that’s enough.”
“Sorry, did I ruin your good mood?” And, well, Touya punches him right on the nose instead of actually responding, and Akito thinks he definitely deserved that (but holy shit, it actually hurts). Akito almost—almost—feels upset about the punch then concludes he reserves no right to be angry or upset or whatever at Touya; if anything, it's Touya that should be feeling that way toward Akito. (Also if the punch reminds him of the time Akito hit Touya right in the face back in high school, he doesn’t admit it. Akito also thinks Touya might’ve broken his nose, which is fine. A broken nose is nothing).
“Sorry, I don’t know why I–” Touya pauses, then decides to drop it. “Let me get the first aid kit.”
‘Come on, just spit it out,’ Akito would usually respond. Or even, ‘It’s no big deal man. Don’t worry about it’ (regarding his broken nose). But what comes out instead is: “No,” Akito blurts. “It’s fine, it doesn’t hurt. Just—just stay with me.”
Touya doesn’t really get much of a choice ‘cause Akito and his idiotic self pulls him back down to the wooden floor, then does something even more stupid by wrapping his arms, tightly, around Touya’s torso. Akito's subconscious is screaming at him to let go, but he physically can't because Touya just smells too good and feels so warm. He’s so comfortable that he’d normally just fall asleep immediately.
But again, this isn’t ‘normal circumstances.’ He can hear Touya’s heartbeat so clearly; almost too clearly that it makes him uncomfortable. Uncomfortable in the sense that his heart’s not pounding like Akito wanted it too. Angry at himself for having expectations when he was already aware of this. To the person named Aoyagi Touya, Akito meant nothing.
“Akito.”
The room’s dead silent. It’s never been this silent between them. Not once in their entire decade of friendship. There’s always something to say, always some remark to make. But there was nothing now.
“You don’t like me, do you?”
There it is. The question he’s been dreading for so fucking long. At least he can finally let that innate fear go. The innate fear that Touya would one day find out.
“No,” Akito replies. Touya stiffens underneath his embrace, and Akito guesses he’s probably about to apologize for making assumptions just about now, but it's not like Touya was wrong, it’s just that whatever Akito feels for Touya, is much stronger than merely ‘liking.’ “It’s worse.”
To that, Touya says nothing.
It’s better that way.
Akito doesn’t leave the house for a week. (He hates himself for using his sick days off for such a stupid reason, but if he had to go to work in this state, the first thing he’d do is drive into a pole). He stays up most nights and only knows it’s dawn (or nearing it) when he hears Touya get ready for his day, and speaking of Touya, It’s laughable how unfazed he is, especially after a love confession—a love confession from his best friend of nine years, mind you.
But man, it sucks.
He doesn’t remember what his last meal consisted of, and he probably smells worse than a sewer rat right now. The only time he got out of his bed was when he had the visceral urge to puke until he began to vomit blood. And Akito's present state looks something like this: head shoved under a pillow, trying to ignore the millions of notifications he’s getting—and none of them are from Touya probably—until he can’t.
He groans, hoisting himself up on an elbow and grabs his phone off the bed-side table, swiping it open. Another groan escapes his mouth at the texts. Seems like the culprit is his sister, Ena. Who’s in the United States of America, like, across the entire globe (or not, Akito nearly failed to graduate high school). Some texts are from others like the staff group chat, An, and others he could care less about. He doesn’t bother to read them.
The first couple of Ena’s texts go along the lines of: “oh my god did u finally kill urself” Then they later shift into something like: “akito????? are you okay” “dude don’t tell me you actually killed yourself what the fuck”
Me 6:08 PM
im fine
Akito moves to set his phone down since Ena responds hours later—mainly due to their time zones—but surprisingly, he gets an immediate response.
ena 👎👎 6:08 PM
WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
YOU DISAPPEAR FOR LIKE
4 ENTIRE DAYS AND ALL YOU SAY IS
“im fine”
YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE
Akito gets Ena's worried. He really does. If Ena fell off the face of the planet for four days straight, he too would be worried out of his mind, but he just doesn’t have the energy to reciprocate Ena’s energy right now.
Me 6:09 PM
my bad 😭😭
just like idk
shit happened and i shut myself in my room
ena 👎👎 6:09 PM
shit happened
ok so what’s the shit that happened
Akito types, deletes, types, deletes and repeats that a hundred times over. It’s not like he doesn’t trust his sister (it’s his sister, for God’s sake); feelings are just… gross, and it’s worse when you let them out and actually admit it.
ena 👎👎 6:11 PM
ok fine
if you dont wanna tell me just say so
im not gonna force u
Me 6:11 PM
nah i will
just gimme a sec
ena 👎👎 6:11 PM
one
ok times over loser
Me 6:12 PM
💀
ena 👎👎 6:12 PM
sorry
take ur time tho actually
im not doing anything today
Me 6:16 PM
so basically um
a week ago i kinda got rlly drunk and confessed to touya haha lol
and he doesnt like me back haha
ena 👎👎 6:16 PM
oh
Me 6:16 PM
yeah
idk
he hasnt talked to me since then
like he asked me if i liked him and my ass was like
“no worse” and i think he got that i meant im in love with him
so uh
yeah im kinda screwed lol
ena 👎👎 6:16 PM
yk how i said i was gonna confess to mizuki before
Me 6:16 PM
uh
yeah?
ena 👎👎 6:17 PM
yeah well
apparently they were dating rui
when i confessed
so we’re on the same boat
i guess
i’m still not over them which sucks
it’s been like months
so i get where you’re coming from
Me 6:17 PM
oh
sorry i
i didn’t know that happened
ena 👎👎 6:17 PM
dont stress
i didnt tell you so
They text like that for a couple hours, the conversation only ending when Ena says she needs to sleep because she has a fan meeting she needs to do tomorrow. That gives Akito motivation to get out of his room and shower.
Ena visits Japan three days after their conversation.
She called it a ‘surprise visit,’ but Akito would rather label it as sudden ‘cause Ena had called him last Saturday, saying: “Akito, be a good kid, and pick your sister up from the airport,” and Akito had said “Okay,” as he was half awake then realizes that it was Ena who had called, that he agreed to picking her up from the airport at one am, and that she was in Japan for some reason. He debated just leaving her there for seven or so hours, but because he’s such a caring little brother, he doesn’t. (He wanted to, though). So, the remainder of his work break is spent following Ena around everywhere, but he doesn’t complain once (again, ‘cause he’s such a caring younger brother), and she also hasn’t been in Japan for years, so he lets her get away with all the stupid social media stuff she’s obsessed with.
But it’s also so—tiring (also, like, why was everyone around him famous, at least ten people asked about Ena’s identity during their trip to the mall), and Ena was no help as she always tried to go, “That’s me! Would you like an autograph? Or a selfie?” whenever she was asked if she’s the Shinonome Ena (she is). So, Akito had to stop her every single time and go: “No, sorry, but she gets that a lot” and drag her away. Also, from the looks he’s getting, they probably think he’s her boyfriend or some weirdo, but he doesn’t have the energy to correct them though it’d be absolutely disgusting if they thought they were dating; they’re siblings, for God’s sake.
“Are you embarrassed of your famous sister or something? Shouldn’t you be elated that I’m rich and famous instead? Or maybe you're just upset you’re not famous yourself?” Ena complains, dragging her feet behind Akito, clearly upset that she doesn’t get to spend all day signing autographs and taking selfies.
“Complain one more time, and I’m throwing all your bags out the window,” Akito warns; truthfully, he feels more like Ena’s slave than her younger brother (see to the countless bags decorating his arms as if he were a Christmas tree).
“Don’t you dare.” This forces Ena to match his walking pace and snatch a few of the bags back, like he’d actually do it (he would). “You don’t know how expensive these materials are, do you?”
“No, I don’t actually, seeing that you could’ve just bought out the entire store instead,” Akito deadpans, glancing down at the five bags that were all from the same store. “And couldn’t you have just bought these items in America?”
“America’s taxes suck ass, and the stuff in Japan is cheaper.”
“You’re literally rich.”
“And?”
Akito sighs, “whatever. Anyway, are you done? I’m starving, dude.”
“Okay, Jesus, be patient. Oh, by the way, did I tell you? I specifically came to this mall because there’s a trending restaurant on social media lately, and oh my God, the food was decorated so cutely! I wanted to take some pictures and post it on mine, too. You know, make it more famous while I’m at it.”
Oh. My. God.
If Akito learns nothing today, he does learn how the word “peace” isn’t in the vocabulary for celebrities. No matter if you’re an idol, an actor, or a voice actor even, the notion of peace ceases to exist entirely for them (if it even existed in the first place). He learns this through two experiences: the first one is lunch with Minori and Haruka a couple days back.
The second is lunch with Ena (he also decides that he’s never going to eat lunch with famous people ever again in his fucking life) because people first go: “oh my God, isn’t that Ena? The mangaka of ‘Crimson Umbrella’?” and then they go: “hey, isn’t that the same guy that was seen eating with Minori and Haruka a couple days ago?”
“Didn’t you say you were starving?” Ena’s irritated (Akito can tell) as she finally sets down her phone and points her fork at his barely touched sandwich.
“Uh… yeah. Right.” Akito’s not gonna tell her that he lost appetite because of all her fans whispering around them, so he reluctantly picks the sandwich up and takes a massive bite into it, regretting it immediately. Maybe it was due to his lost appetite, but the sandwich tasted fou, but he also isn’t looking to throw up in front of all these people so he tells Ena, “Sorry. Bathroom,” and hurriedly walks off toward the restrooms.
Akito doesn’t throw up (thankfully, ‘cause otherwise his breath would smell disgusting); the splashes of cold water to his face are enough of a remedy, and just as he’s about to leave:
“Hey, isn’t that the guy eating with Ms. Ena?”
“Looks like it. Wasn’t he seen eating with Minori-chan and Haruka-chan, too?”
Oh god fucking damn it. Akito decides it’s best to ignore them and go on his (not so) merry way back to lunch, but, fuck him, he feels a hand grip onto his shoulder, stopping him from opening the door.
“Ignoring us, huh? You clearly heard us, didn’t you?” Yeah, I did. Very clearly, like you said, is what Akito wants to say, but he’d rather not get punched in the face again. He drops his hand from the door handle and sighs; he’ll give them what they want. Just this once, because he’d rather not get into a fist fight in a public restroom.
“Yeah, I’m eating with Ena and was seen eating with Minori and Haruka a couple days ago. Happy?” Akito confesses, raising his arms in surrender since he really doesn't have the energy to deal with any of this right now and turns to face his—assaulter? Akito doesn’t know. He doesn’t feel threatened nor assaulted; he’s just fucking annoyed.
“You creep, what do they even see in you?” his assaulter demands. Akito settles on calling this ‘assaulter’ Guy One, and his sidekick (who isn’t doing shit) Guy Two; he’s too lazy to come up with nicknames right now.
“Sorry?”
“How many more celebrities are you fucking, huh?”
Ew? Theoretically, Akito could tell the truth, but he’s already learned that those with such… punchable faces are a bunch of idiots, and nothing will get through their thick skulls.
“Definitely more than you, that’s for sure.” From how Guy One’s nostrils flare up in anger, he’s definitely more pissed than before. “Anyway, nice talk. See you.” Akito moves to open the door to leave (he’s surprised no one’s entered the past couple whatever minutes they’ve been doing this) but stops instead; he can’t push the weird familiarity he’s been getting since he turned to look at Guy One’s face, what the hell was it? “Actually. Have we met somewhere before?”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Guy One grabs the collar of Akito’s hoodie, pushing him against the door (and Guy Two’s still not doing anything; why was he here then? To watch?)
Akito swears he’s heard those words somewhere before. “Woah, calm down, geez. I’m just asking if we met some–” Then it clicks. His memory’s hazy, but he easily recognizes those words. “You’re the same one that attacked Touya two years ago, aren’t you? You’re still alive?” Seeing how Guy One’s grip slowly loosens on his hoodie, Akito assumes he’s right. Okay, well, now it’s his turn to be pissed.
“How the fuck do you know that?”
Right. Only like ten or so people in the entire world know that Akito Shinonome is the bodyguard of superstar Aoyagi Touya. Now what? “It was all over the news, was it not?” (It wasn’t).
“No the fuck it wasn’t.” (Guy One’s back to tightening his grip on Akito’s hood). “Why the hell are you bringing up Touya? This isn’t even what we’re fucking talking about! The only people who know about that incident are—wait.”
“Whatever you’re thinking, I suggest you ignore it.” Akito realizes he’s screwed. He has been the second he indirectly admitted that he’s Touya’s bodyguard. It accidentally slipped, yeah, but the guy who was the cause of everyone’s stress two years ago was right here, ready for Akito to beat the shit out of again, and he just has such a punchable face. So, yeah, Akito did swear not too long ago that he’d preferably not get into a fist fight in a public restroom, but, in theory, he’s Touya’s bodyguard, and it’s his job to keep him safe, right? Right. Also, like, you know, self defense, because he was basically being choked? Yeah, so, theoretically, it’s okay that he may or may not have sent Guy One flying across the entire bathroom? (Also how Guy Two kind of possibly recorded everything?)
And also that he’s criminally fucked and exposed to the entire world?