Chapter Text
"I don’t think it’s a good idea," said Madison.
"Yes, it is," said Jefferson. "Look at her! What a gorgeous guillotine she is. I’m so glad the French built this masterpiece.”
"Sir, it’s definitely not a good idea," Madison continued. "You’ve been inciting severe panic among both parties.”
“It is a great idea, a brilliant one!” Jefferson insisted. “Everyone will have to think twice before expressing their opinions now.”
“But Jefferson—”
Jefferson interrupted Madison almost immediately. “Dear sir, are you applying for a one-way guillotine tour with your neck?”
~Madison‘s POV~
I didn’t want to work for Jefferson anymore. This man had gone insane a long time ago. He had become a tyrant, and I couldn't bear such a farce any longer, no more.
For years, I had supported Jefferson’s ridiculous, ludicrous, and preposterous ideas as his political collaborator. A threat of having my head chopped off was my reward. How dared he?!
HOW DARED JEFFERSON?!
Jemmy, calm down. Calm down. Take a deep breath. Everything would be fine. I would not resign.
I planned to stage a coup. Jefferson needed to go.
~Jefferson’s POV~
Nine times out of ten, Madison agreed on nothing with me. It was unprofessional and unethical. But now I had the Guillotine! If Madison kept opposing me, I would show him no mercy.
I loved the Guillotine. She made executions fast and efficient. I wanted to write a customer review as soon as possible, so I needed to see some beheadings.
Whose head should I choose? Hmmm.
Let me think of the person who had disrespected me the most in the past, present, and future.
Hamilton? Too late. Burr had already called dibs. I believed Burr had killed Hamilton last month.
I got it! Adams. Damnit, definitely John Adams. Four years ago, he had told the newsletters to publish that I was dead.
I would arrest him, imprison him, and execute him. Every step would be legal because I was such a responsible president.
“Madison, issue a warrant for the immediate arrest of John Adams in Massachusetts,” I said. “He committed… treason!”
I glared at Madison threateningly.
Madison’s face remained expressionless as ever.
I expected an objection from Madison, him saying my order was against the law and that we couldn’t arrest a man in another state. But I didn’t care about Madison’s opinions. I had already pressed my secret button. (I had lied to Madison, telling him the machine was for ordering ice cream.) Birds were out. My loyal pigeons would deliver my command to the troops.
However, Madison said nothing, just nodded and left my office without a word, probably because he was scared of being beheaded.
The Guillotine was fantastic!