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It's not that Malina regrets trying to save the world. How can you regret something you've trained for your whole life?
But she is a little miffed when she saves an entire street from a tornado and they turn on her. Even more upset that her grandfather has left her when she's only just found him, when he insisted he would keep her safe, that Luke wasn't necessary -- and yet here she is, running for her life, clinging to the man her grandfather insisted she didn't need, who is somehow the only person here to protect her.
Malina's sure she could protect herself. It's not like she spent all that time with her great-grandmother painting with watercolors and reading poetry. Okay, yes, she did a lot of that too, but she did learn a little bit about fighting.
It's just that she's not very good at it.
She gets the sense that Luke is pretty good at it. He'd have to be, wouldn't he? To kill all those EVOs.
Most of her doesn't believe that her grandfather abandoned her, that he's coming back. She knows, deep down, that he will keep his promise and come back for her. What she doesn't know is how long that will take, and how long she will be left with only Luke to rely on.
When they're a few miles away from the highway, he finds an abandoned car and jump starts it.
Add that to the list of things Luke knows that she doesn't. And to the list of reasons why she shouldn't stay anywhere near him.
"My grandfather is going to find me, you know." She stares at him with hard eyes, arms crossed. Malina has spent so much of her life training to be a savior that she acts the part. She knows where she stands in the world, and she knows she is in the moral right with her judgment of Luke. When she heard what he'd done to all those EVOs, a much larger part of her than she'd like wished she'd never saved his life, even though the reasonable part of her mind knew she'd never have gotten to Carbondale without him.
Luke just smiles and nods, which aggravates her to no end. He's treating her like a child, has been treating her like a child this whole time, she realizes. She felt it the second he called out to her on that truck, the endearment "honey" rolling off his lips as if she were someone to be dismissed.
She's not to be dismissed. She's going to save the world.
Her steely gaze remains unfazed.
"Malina, I know he will. In the meantime, we need to get out of here. You can call him when we're on our way."
It's only then that her calm falters. "He never gave me his cell phone number," she says, realizing the truth for the first time. How had they not exchanged cell phones?
Luke's easy-going smile falls. He waits a few moments, to see if she says anything more, and then continues with pragmatic steadfastness. "We still need to get out of here. Away from that storm. We don't want anyone trying to hurt you again."
Malina nods, numbly, realizing that he's right. She can't just wait for her grandfather to return. They need to find him and Tommy if there's any hope of saving the world. "We need to get to Midian. That's where my grandfather and I were headed. Maybe we'll find him there."
Luke nods, and she wonders if that same ruthless execution is what allowed him to murder so many innocent people. She slides into the passenger seat and lets the silence overwhelm them until finally, she speaks up.
"How could you kill all those people if it never brought you any peace?"
She hears the low breath that escapes, watches as his shoulders tense. He grips the wheel more tightly. Malina can tell he doesn't want to talk about it, but when he glances at her, she knows he realizes he can't avoid this conversation.
"You have to understand... I loved Jo. Unconditionally. She was the love of my life, the mother of my child... it's a bond I'm not sure you'd understand."
That right there, Malina thinks. He's treating me like a child again.
"Then help me understand, Luke. It's the only way I can allow you back into my life. Or my mission."
He sighs again. "I just... loved her. When we lost Dennis, it was like we'd lost the world. Jo thought she found a reason for living in the aftermath, and I just... hoped eventually I'd find the same meaning in the work that we were doing. I thought that loving her would be enough to make the killing worthwhile."
Malina settles down low in the passenger seat, letting the information sink in. She's not sure it even starts to make things right, but at the same time, she wants to believe in Luke. She sees his brown eyes, sees the warmth and the pain in them, and she wants to find the best in him.
She tries to imagine how she'd react if her great-grandmother was killed. Would she retaliate?
Yes, she thinks darkly, with such a quick response that she's surprised by the vicious hatred she feels bubbling inside her.
"I knew you wouldn't understand," Luke mutters, and when she glances up at him, he's staring at the road, brows tense, the steering wheel still gripped tight.
"I get it," she says. He turns to her with surprise--just for a moment, since he needs to keep his eyes on the road--but she sees the hope in him. "I mean, not entirely. But if someone hurt my family, I could see myself being tempted to hurt them too. To hurt them more than I'd been hurt. So... I get it, I guess."
She hears him let out a breath she didn't even realize he'd been holding. He never takes his eyes from the road, but she hears him whisper a soft, "Thank you," before the iPhone tells them to take another right turn.
It takes the better portion of a day to get to Colorado, and despite Malina's insistence, Luke refuses to drive through the night. When she offers to drive instead, he tells her no so quickly she doesn't even bother bringing up the topic again.
They stay at a small motel on the side of the I-70, and when Luke gives their names, she notices he uses the name of a credit card he found in the car, telling the receptionist Malina is his daughter.
Treating me like a child, she thinks petulantly. Again.
She waits until they get to the room before she complains.
"I'm not a child," she tells him flatly.
She'd hoped to have a serious conversation, but instead of responding to her, he just laughs. Slowly at first, but then it turns into raucous laughter, the kind where he's clutching his stomach with one hand and using the other to steady him.
"I'm not!" she insists.
"Malina, honey," he says, and the endearment just makes her angrier. "How old are you?"
"I'm sixteen," she states matter-of-factly. Why, she's practically an adult. Two more years and she can vote.
Luke wipes a tear from his eye as he steadies himself. "I'm nearly twice your age, Malina."
She waits for a moment, and then decides to say exactly what's on her mind.
"Nearly."
"Oh my God," he cries, smacking his forehead, letting the hand slide down his face and rest on his lips as he appears to think about what to say next.
He has nice lips.
She'd noticed it before, when they'd had their first road trip from New York to Illinois. The drive had been almost as long, and she'd had plenty of time to observe him and find him handsome. After all, back then she hadn't known he was a killer.
They're not chapped or anything. He's clearly well hydrated, but a part of her thinks that unlike the servants on her great-grandmother's estate, his kisses wouldn't be slobbery.
Her grandfather is going to kill her.
"Malina, you-- you don't realize it yet, but you're going to do a lot of growing up between now and your twenties. You're very mature, but you're still very much a child."
She crosses her arms. "We could all die soon, and you're going to focus on the fact I'm a few years shy of twenty?"
Luke looks like he wants to either strangle her, or rip his hair out. He settles on patiently explaining the difference in their ages one more time. "A few years shy of twenty is... those few years are worth a bit more than other years."
She rolls her eyes. "You're being purposely difficult."
"I'm trying to set boundaries!" he shrieks.
And that's when she has a new thought. Maybe the boundaries are more for him than they are for her.
He's had an interesting week or so, given what she's learned about him. In such a short period, he's lost his wife, found out he's an EVO, tried to kill himself, tried to change his mission to saving EVOs…
Malina may have spent most of her life sequestered in the countryside, but she thinks she recognizes a flash of something in his eyes when he looks at her. Admiration, yes. She'd seen that from the start. A bit of hero-worship, sure.
But she thinks that maybe he finds her attractive. That maybe that admiration of her spirit could turn into something more, if they both let it.
Her grandfather would never let it.
Malina's not sure she should let it.
But she's spent her whole life doing what she was supposed to. What would it hurt to do one thing she shouldn't?
A kiss doesn't have to mean anything, after all.