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Buck has been back at work for 2 weeks and the team still won’t talk to him, apart from Hen, who gave him a cupcake his first day but has barely acknowledged him since.
Chim nods his head in his direction occasionally but still refuses to talk to him.
Buck thinks Eddie’s strategy is to pretend he never existed, at this point, Buck doesn’t think that would be to bad.
And Bobby still hasn’t let him out on a call, and has him doing the light work like moping floors and cleaning the truck, well most of it.
“Buckley” Bobby said, sternly.
”Yes Cap?” Buck replied
“I think something stuck under the truck, it was making a weird noise on the way back from our last call, fix it”
Buck just nodded and went to grab the board to get under the truck, he placed it on the floor to roll under but he wasn’t even under for a second before he felt his heart racing.
The bombing, the pain, the recovery, the lawsuit, all the memories he desperately wanted to push to the back of his mind came crashing to the surface.
Buck pulled himself out from under and sat up, desperately rubbing at his chest, trying to get his racing heart to beat to a normal rhythm. Which felt near impossible at this very moment, tears already filling his eyes and breathing coming out laboured.
Buck felt pathetic, he couldn’t do one thing right, he was having a panic attack because of an event that happened 6 months ago, and no one noticed, and if they did the didn’t care. He wasn’t wanted here.
Buck was sitting for what felt like an eternity, wanting his heart to slow down, tears to stop, and breathing back to normal.
“Please stop” Buck mumbled to himself, not thinking anyone was listening.
But Eddie was, he was coming down the stairs, on his way to the bunks to lay down but he heard Buck mumbling to himself and when he turned he was faced with Buck rubbing his chest, he face covering in tear stains and his breathing coming out laboured.
Eddie didn’t even have to think before he was sat in front of Buck, trying to get him to calm down.
“Hey Buck” Eddie whispered “breathe for me, slow breaths in and out”
Eddie didn’t think Buck knew he was there so he grabbed Buck’s hand and placed it on his beating heart so Buck could feel more relaxed, and that got Buck to look up, Eddie’s eyes filled with concern.
“Breathe slowly, in and out” Eddie said, quietly between the two.
Buck tried to breathe but it was still a struggle but with words of encouragement from Eddie, Buck eventually started to breathe normally and his heart was slowing down.
Eddie didn’t let go of his hand until he pulled Buck to his chest and wrapped his arms around him, Buck immediately latching on to his… best friend? Co-worker? He’s not sure where they stand right now.
After a few minutes of hugging, Eddie slowly pulled away and tried to look Buck in the eye, but Buck was looking down to his lap.
“Hey Buck” Eddie whispered so gently, Buck thought he might start crying again, “can you look at me please?”
Buck slowly moved his head up and Eddie held his face between his hands and slowly traced his thumb underneath his eyes to get any lingering tears.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Buck shook his head and mumbled under his breathe “I don’t want to be exhausting” but Eddie still head and realisation washed over his features.
”Buck-“ Eddie began but he interrupted and said “no don’t worry about it, I’m fine” Buck said and went to get up but before he could, Eddie pulled him back into his arms and starting talking into his ear, so it was just between them.
“You’re not exhausting, you never have been, I’m so sorry I said that, I didn’t mean it. I was just angry at everything. You’re amazing Buck, at everything you do, that’s the truth, I’m sorry I told you to suck it up, that’s just how I was raised but I know that’s not healthy. You’re my best friend. I love you”
The last 3 words just slipped out his mouth, not because he didn’t feel it, Eddie’s been in love with Buck since they first met, but because he didn’t want to overwhelm Buck after he just calmed down from a panic attack.
Buck sucked in a breath and pulled away. The two boys stared at each other for a few moments before Buck said “do you mean it?”
Eddie didn’t have to thinking before he pulled Buck into a gentle kiss and said “of course” and Buck immediately kissed him back and said “I love you too”
Both boys were happy but Eddie knew they had to talk.
”Now can you tell me what that was about?”
Buck nodded but had to think of the words to say.
”Take your time” Eddie said, brushing a stray hair away from his face.
”Flashbacks, to the bombing, when I went under the truck, every memory and emotion I pushed aside just came back all at once”
Eddie looked sadly and Buck before pulling him back into his arms and said “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you like I should’ve been” Buck just nodded but didn’t move or talk.
Eddie kissed the side of Buck’s head and said “go lay down in the bunks, I’ll be there soon”
“But I have to-“ Buck began
”I’ll do it”
”But what about Cap?”
“I’ll talk to him, you do lay down” Eddie said, more sternly this time.
Buck finally agreed, got up and left to lay down.
Eddie sat down for a few more minutes before he went to go talk to Bobby who was making dinner.
“Hey Cap?” Eddie said
“Yeah Eddie” He replied
”Can you let Buck lay down for the rest of shift?”
That got Bobby’s attention, who gave Eddie a stern look.
”Why would I do that?”
”He got a panic attack when he went under the truck” Eddie said so no one else would hear.
Bobby’s once hard look, softened and realisation then guilt crossed over his features before mumbling “shit”
He looked back up at Eddie and said “yeah, of course, I’ll talk to him soon”
Eddie nodded before walking back towards the bunks and as soon as he walked in, Buck was already fast asleep, a smile brushing over Eddie’s face before slowly walking over and laying next to Buck, who immediately laid his head on his chest.
That’s how the fell into a peaceful sleep.
And if the others walked in and took photos, they will never have to know.