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It would be a lie if Prompto said he never felt nervous every time he came to Noctis’s apartment. Each and every time he stepped through the door and the security guard asked for his ID, he felt a wave of uncertainty crashing down on him, trying to make him collapse from the fear he would be rejected one day.
One day Noctis would find him boring, grow tired of his constant babbling, and wish to never see him again. Eventually, all good things had to come to an end, right? Prompto couldn’t see why he would be that lucky to stay as a friend of the prince forever.
A small voice tried to tell him differently, trying to bring up his spirits and make him remember Noctis always enjoyed his company. That little voice tried to give him the confidence he needed, but he was doing a really bad job at acknowledging it.
Still, he made his way past the security desk without issue, heading to the elevator that would lead him to Noctis’s floor.
While riding in the elevator, Prompto took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm down his bubbling turmoil before he reached his destination.
Can’t let him see how nervous I am. He can’t know how afraid I am of being rejected. He wouldn’t get it…
As Prompto approached Noctis’s door, he put on one of his bright smiles, the type of smile that made sure no one would see what hid underneath.
After a quick knock, he waited only a few seconds before Noctis opened the door.
“Heya, Noct! Glad to see you aren’t sleeping!”
“I don’t sleep in when I know I have a friend coming over.”
Prompto pushed his smile to be brighter, wishing he could truly let the warmth of the comment comfort him. “Aw, well thanks for doing that for little old me!”
Noctis stepped aside, letting Prompto in so he could take off his shoes. “When it comes to you, I’ll be ready and awake to hang.”
“Even if I want to take you on my morning jog?”
Noctis laughed. “Hey, let’s not push it that far. I have a limit on early morning rising.”
“Right. So only semi-early, I got it,” Prompto teased.
The banter was easy. Even with years of having no friends, or being completely alone at home, he had found a way to make it work.
Countless hours had been spent in his room, staring at his mirror. He would talk to himself, practicing over and over on what he would say. He made up all sorts of scenarios, making sure he would be ready for anything.
Sometimes he thought about joining the theater improv club, having found a good flow in snappy responses in a moment’s notice. But, he could never bring himself to do it, preferring to stick to the sidelines where the attention wasn't directly on him.
“Anyways, we got video game plans for tonight. That's far more fun than any old jog.” Noctis asked.
“Don't diss the jog ‘till you try it early enough to see the sunrise!”
“Eh, I'd still rather sleep.”
As they entered the main room of the apartment, Prompto gave him a playful shove. “Okay, mister vampire, whatever you say!”
“Yeah, I'm a vampire. You got me. And you're my next victim.”
Prompto was ready to reply, but Noctis grabbed him by the waist and pulled him down to the couch.
“H-hey! Let me go!” Prompto said as he tried holding back a burst of laughter. Noctis knew how ticklish he was, and he already was squirming in his grasp.
“Not ‘till I get my fill, human!” Playfully Noctis pressed his nose against Prompto's neck. “Now your blood is mine!”
No longer able to hold it back, Prompto let out his laughter. Within a matter of seconds, Noctis started laughing too. Infection laughter filled the room, causing a constant cycle of causing each other to continue laughing.
Together they laid there, with Prompto still wrapped up in Noctis's arms. He couldn't even take a moment to process just how close they were as he tried calming himself down, trying to take a moment to breathe again.
“You're such a dork!”
“Says the one who called me ‘mister vampire’!”
“Yeah, okay you got me there. But, you're still a dork too.”
Noctis sighed, leaning back on the couch, taking Prompto along with him. “Yeah, we are both dorks.”
Finally, now having a clear mind, Prompto realized something as he sat there. “Hey, uh, Noct? You can let go of me now.”
Noctis's grip didn't lose. “Hmm, not yet. You're cozy.”
“C-cozy?”
“Mmhm,” Noctis replied, pressing his head against Prompto's back.
Prompto felt his heart do a flip. He had never been good with close moments due to a lack of a proper childhood.
Thanks to his busy, nearly neglectful parents, he never got the experience most kids did with loving parents. Hardly ever hugged or comforted, he never knew how to handle situations like this with Noctis.
Part of him craved for more, wanting to stay in this comforting bubble between them. The warmth was tempting him, wanting to lure him into a feeling he deeply desired.
On the other hand however, he was afraid. He wanted to stay like this more than anything, but as the seconds ticked by his anxiety started screaming. He was probably being weird for wanting this. Maybe even Noctis would find it strange the longer they stayed so close.
I don't deserve this… this isn't for me.
He struggled to pull away from Noctis, trying to break free from his arms.
“Come on! I thought we were going to play some video games!”
“Maybe later,” Noctis replied, trying to keep Prompto from getting away. “What if we just took a nap?”
A nap with Noctis? He wants to take a nap with me?
Heart rate spiking, turning into a fluttering sensation, he practically jumped off of the couch. “W-whoa! D-don't you think that's a bit much?”
Turning around he saw Noctis's disappointed look and that heart flutter turned into a sour drop.
“Oh… sorry. Didn't mean to upset you.”
Trying to reverse his sudden bad choice of words, Prompto shook his head. “No! I don't mean it like that. Just… Wouldn't it be weird? We aren't little kids having a sleepover.”
Noctis shrugged. “Eh, I didn't think it would be weird.”
Guilt eating him, he flopped down next to Noctis. “Sorry. That was just a bit out of the blue for me. Didn't know how to respond.”
“It's fine. Let's just forget about it,” Noctis said, his tone still holding some disappointed weight.
Great, now I've really screwed it up. If he wasn't bored of me before, now he probably thinks I hate him.
“Really Noct, I'm sorry. I just… I don't know…” he breathed in slowly, trying to hold himself back from crying. He tried to not be the guy to ‘wear his emotions on his sleeve’, but when things stirred in him, sometimes he found it hard to control.
“Don't know what?”
He swallowed. He didn't want to admit the truth. He couldn't admit it, not if he wanted his worst fears to come true. He didn't want to lose what he had with Noctis.
Instead, he thought to tell something that was true, just not involving his best friend he cherished so much.
“My parents, they… they were pretty busy when I was young. Never had a lot of time to, uh, well… to give me a hug,” Prompto said, taking slow and steady breaths.
Noctis stared, shock all over his face. “Your parents never hugged you?”
“I wouldn't say never, but more like, hardly ever,” he admitted softly.
“I didn't know. I probably made you really uncomfortable. Sorry.”
Prompto hated to hear Noctis apologize. He had nothing to apologize for! It wasn't his fault, it was Prompto.
He was the weird one. The one with the insecurities and the fears he wasn't good enough. Prompto was just a boring, pleb boy with a terrible lack of self confidence.
“Don't apologize. I'm not uncomfortable, I actually…”
I craved it. I didn't want you to let go. I wanted arms I could feel safe in.
His emotions were getting the better of him, his eyes beginning to water.
“Prompto? Are you-”
“I'm fine!” he lied. “Just a little tired. Don't worry about me, I'm fine, really!” He wiped away the tears before they could really get going. He wasn't about to have a breakdown in front of the freaking Prince of Lucis.
“You sure? You know you can talk to me if something is bothering you.”
“Nothing's bothering me. I'm just over thinking. That's all. But if an opportunity ever arises, I'll take you up on that!”
Noctis stared, looking rather unconvinced. “Alright. So, video games?”
“Yup! Ready to totally beat you in everything!” Prompto breathed in sharply, pushing all of his foolish feelings down. He could ignore them for now, and once he was home, then he could break down into a pathetic mess. Once he was alone where no one could see him, he'd let those walls down.
Putting his big display of emotions aside, they were able to get to their main plan of video games, starting first with the fighting games. Prompto felt better as they got to playing, laughing and raging over the silliness of the games.
After another round, with Prompto having the win, Noctis leaned back. “Oh yeah, I almost forgot, but I won't be at school tomorrow.”
“Got some stuffy board meeting stuff?”
“More like boring meetings! But yeah… it's an all day thing. Dad says I'm required to attend.”
“Aw, well sucks to be stuck in a stuffy meeting! You'll miss our amazing math test! Oh! And the super cool Eos history test too!”
“And that means you can tell me what’s on the test so I can prepare for the answers,” Noctis snorted.
“Isn’t that cheating?”
“Nah, it just means I’m doing my homework and studying from a great source. Totally legal and fair.”
Prompto laughed. “You’re so lazy! I thought Ignis was supposed to teach you to actually do your homework yourself!”
“And I will, with a secret little helper!”
“Alright, but if Ignis finds out, you’re on your own!”
Noctis grinned. “Deal.”
After a moment, Prompto sighed, staring down at his lap. “So the whole day, yeah?”
“Yeah… But I’ll be back after that. You’ve survived a day or two without me before, this is nothing new.”
Nothing new, but that doesn't mean it sucks any less…
“I know,” Prompto replied, smiling warmly, ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth.
He had spent many days at school when Noctis wasn’t there, whether it was when Noctis had meetings or if he had a sick day. He had also been alone before he met Noctis, so he knew what to expect.
He would go to school, spend each class in the corner trying to not draw attention to himself, and go home. It was a lonely cycle, but one that he had grown to be attuned to. No one wanted to talk to him, not with casual conversation anyway. He had learned to ignore and tune out the classmates that decided to be less than pleasant anyway.
Despite knowing what to expect, he managed to keep a positive attitude throughout the rest of the evening. He savored the remaining hours of him and Noctis playing video games, ordering pizza, and ending the night with a campy movie.
“Can you at least text after all your meetings?” Prompto asked once they were heading towards the front door.
“I’ll try to, if they don’t go too long. Maybe I’ll even sneak a few during them if Ignis isn’t looking.”
Prompto smiled as he slipped on his shoes. “You’re such a troublemaker.”
“That’s only if I get caught.”
“Which you have! Twice before!”
Noctis waved him off. “As long as Ignis doesn’t take away my phone at the start, I’ll be fine.”
As Prompto was ready to go, he stared back at Noctis, giving him a smile to let him know he would be alright. “Okay, see you later, Noct.”
“See ya, Prom.”
Prompto took his leave, heading back home. Each step of the way he felt a heavy weight pulling at him.
Maybe one day he could be a bit braver and tell Noctis what was truly on his mind. If he could do that, then maybe he would feel more confident in himself.
But, that was all one big maybe…
It could be possible. Gotta stop thinking so negatively.
He tried to tell himself that to lighten his spirits. After all, he had gotten enough confidence to come forward to talk to and befriend Noctis over a year and a half ago. That had taken so much practice and prep, and in the end he had proved to be successful in his endeavor.
If he had done that and didn’t fall into a panicky mess then, why was he so nervous now? What had changed since that day that made him feel like he lost that confidence?
Though, maybe it was just a fluke. I just got lucky that day and didn’t chicken out… Still, Noctis accepted me as a friend then…
He shook his head, trying to get out of the constant battle of his inner turmoil. Today had already put him through enough, with the memory of Noctis clinging to him still freshly burning in the back of his mind.
That was something he wasn’t going to forget for a while. The way Noctis held him, snuggling close and asking to take a nap alongside him.
Thinking about it for all of a few seconds was enough to make his face feel hot, his imagination playing into a long, hidden fantasy.
He got back to his house soon enough, shuffling inside to his cold and lonely room. He was ready to just go to sleep, knowing tomorrow would be a drag.
School was just as he expected. He was by himself through all of his classes, and left to his own devices during lunchtime. Normally, he would sneak up to the rooftop with Noctis where they could spend the hour in peace. Without him, he had no reason to go up there. Why bother if he was just going to be alone?
Instead, he sat in the cafeteria, in the far corner away from most of the other students. He had hoped it would be enough to deter others from coming up to him, but sadly when you’re friends with the prince, that meant people didn’t consider you a person and instead a medium to learn more about the prince.
Two students walked up to him. He knew who they were from some of his classes, but he couldn’t remember their names.
“So where’s Prince Noctis?”
“Is he sick again?”
Prompto sighed. “He’s busy today. Princely stuff.”
The two students didn’t seem entirely pleased with the answer.
“That’s all you know? No details? No gossip?”
Glancing down, Prompto tried to focus on his food. “Noctis isn’t going to tell me all the details of that stuff.”
One of them smirked. “Hm, maybe he’s growing tired of you.”
“Yeah, how much of a weirdo like you can he take before he gets bored?”
That was the point Prompto went on eating his lunch, ignoring the two that were still hovering over him. They snickered, muttering things amongst themselves before finally leaving him alone.
Don’t let it get to you. Don’t let them win.
He pulled out his phone, checking to see if Noctis texted him. When he saw no new messages he tried not to feel too upset, knowing Noctis was busy and wasn’t really supposed to be on his phone. But, there had been some hope that during a lunch break he would get a chance to send a message.
Feeling a little antsy, he shoved his phone back into his pocket. He could ignore it for now, push the feelings away and forget about them.
When school was over, he headed in the direction of home. He checked his phone again and thankfully, this time, there was one message from Noctis.
There were only two emojis, an exhausted one followed by a sleeping one. That was all it took to make Prompto smile.
Silly Noct, stop trying to sleep through your meetings.
Prompto hummed as he typed out a response, teasing Noctis about his sleeping habits again.
After the message was sent he continued home, back to his little place of solitude. When he arrived, he gathered the mail before heading inside to his empty, barren space he called home.
Shuffling through the letters, he saw one from his parents. Slowly, he moved into the kitchen to get the letter opener, not letting his hope get the better of him. He had far too many times where a letter from his parents made him think they would be coming home soon, just writing to let him know to clean up the house before they came.
But, most times the letters were always the same, and this one was no different. They weren’t coming back yet, their business trip extended by another three months.
Nothing new there at all. By this point, Prompto was pretty much numb to it, knowing that he shouldn’t expect something like that to happen. He couldn’t be that lucky of a person.
Everyone’s always busy…. It's always the same.
Stumbling to the couch, he slumped down onto it. He let a few tears sneak through, breaking his defenses. Despite all his efforts to block out and ignore what bothered him most, it came back in full force.
He wished it could be easier, that he didn't have to feel like this. All he wanted was to go through a day where he didn't have to constantly have to battle against a mountain of insecurities.
Sitting there for a while, stirring in the deepest parts of his mind, he started to doze off. He had just about fallen asleep when his doorbell rang.
He sprung to his feet startled, quickly making his way up to the front. As far as he knew he didn’t have any packages coming today, so curiously he opened the door to see who was on the other side.
When he pulled the door open, his eyes widened seeing Noctis standing there.
“Hey Prompto, you busy?” Noctis asked with a grin.
“I… What are you doing here? I thought you were at meetings?”
Noctis shrugged, stepping into the house. “They got done half an hour ago, so I thought to swing by and say hi.”
“But, uh, why?”
Half awake and slightly dazed, he forgot to take the opportunity to make a joke. Normally, under his bubbly, goofy persona he would have taken the chance to laugh and poke fun with Noctis, but now he was finding himself dumbfounded.
“Well, why not? You get to visit me, so can’t I visit you?”
“O-oh, yeah. Sure you can come in.”
Prompto’s stomach twisted at the premise. His home was nothing compared to Noctis’s fancy apartment. He lived in just a regular house, but one that felt far more empty and barren than others.
Noctis had never been to his house before. He had never seen how pathetically he lived compared to him. Prompto had to take a few deep breaths, trying to keep his unease at bay, hoping this wouldn’t be his most feared moment.
The moment Noctis would realize how lame he really was… and that he wasn’t worth the time anymore.
Noctis was just about to start looking around when he turned to stare at Prompto. “Hey, are you okay? You look a little pale?”
Shit, am I that obvious?
“Ah, nah, that's just the lighting. Haven’t turned on any lights yet, see? Just the lighting!”
Noctis frowned. “Prompto, is something wrong?”
Prompto shook his head quickly. “No! Nothing’s wrong. Why don’t we, like, eat a snack or something?”
Noctis snatched his wrist and pulled him over to the couch. “Sit.”
Prompto sat without any complaint.
Noctis sat down a second later. “Ignis told me I need to be more aware of things… and I think, if I’m reading this right, you have something bothering you.”
A shakily laugh was let out. “You're reading too deep, Noct! Ignis has you overthinking too much! I swear, I'm fine!”
“You don't sound it.”
Prompto felt his hands trembling. He shoved them against his legs, begging for it to stop. “Well, I know me, and I say I'm fine.”
“Prompto… you can talk to me. Tell me what's bothering you.” Noctis placed a hand over Prompto's. “Please.”
Noctis's plea was so sincere, Prompto felt he could spill out at any given second. Despite the usual rumor that Noctis had no social awareness and was a spoiled prince, he actually would take the time to be honest and kind. It was something Prompto loved that only he and a few others knew about Noctis.
But, that still left him hesitant.
“I… I don't know if I can. You wouldn't understand, Noct.”
“Try me.”
Be confident. Tell him how you feel. He'll listen.
For once his stronger, more positive inner thoughts were coming through. He felt like he could actually believe them, taking in a deep breath and trying to grasp onto some form of confidence.
“It's just… I feel like I'm not…” he swallowed heavily. “You should know I'm not always a goofy, energetic, fun-loving guy. A lot of times, it's just a mask, hiding what's underneath.”
“And what is underneath your mask?”
“A huge lack of self confidence to say the least. I’m just a blob of worry bubbling at the core.”
This was it, the moment that could make everything fall apart. If Noctis didn’t like the true him, then this would be the end.
Noctis stared, making his expression hard to read. But, a moment later it turned into a soft smile. “That’s all?”
Somehow, that wasn’t the answer that he expected.
“T-that’s all? What do you mean that’s all? I just told you that I’m not always a happy-go-lucky guy! I’m constantly worried what others think, trying to keep myself from saying too much or acting like a weirdo. I’m walking through everyday worried I’ll mess up, that I’ll end up not being good enough. That one day everyone will get tired of me. How can you say ‘that’s all’ when you’re dealing with a mess like me?”
Still, Noctis’s smile remained gentle. “‘Cause, you don’t need to prove yourself. I love you just the way you are, bubbling blob and all.”
The anxiety racing inside him slowed down, coming to a halt. “You really mean it?”
Noctis moved his hands to Prompto’s shoulders. “You’re my friend who cares more about me as me than as a prince. You treat me like a regular person, and I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
Prompto felt like he could burst out crying at any second. All of his fears for months on end were just foolish now, all due to his overthinking tendencies.
“T-thanks, Noct. I… I’m glad you like me even if I am a weirdo.”
“Of course, you know I would always want you around, weirdo or not.”
Feeling his own smile spread across his face, he started feeling better. Though, a second later, something finally processed in his mind.
“Did you say that you… love me?”
Noctis’s face turned red immediately. “D-did I? Uh crap, I didn’t mean it like… Sorry if I made it weird again.”
Trying to hold onto his new sense of self confidence, even if it was small, he decided to poke the thought.
“Did you mean love like… friendship love or…”
Noctis looked away. “Don’t want to make this weird after helping you.”
Feeling his heart beating loudly, Prompto listened to its steady beat as he reached over, placing a hand onto Noctis’s arm. “You just made me open up about my feelings. Now, it’s only fair you do it too!”
Noctis chuckled. “Okay, you got me there.”
“Then spill the beans!”
“Right… I did mean it. The other kind of love…”
“Are you saying… you have a crush on me?” Prompto asked slowly.
“Would that be weird…? I know I’m a prince, and I’m supposed to be interested in princesses and noble ladies, but I’m just… not.”
Prompto pointed to himself. “But, you’re interested in me?”
Noctis nodded. “Yeah.”
A lot of suppressed feelings were leaking through Prompto’s mind. The type of feelings he had kept locked deep away with other ambitious dreams and fantasies he never thought could be any more than just that.
“Not weird, Noct. Not weird at all.”
“It’s not weird to have a crush on your best friend?” Noctis asked skeptically.
Confidence… Be confident and tell him… let him know how you feel,
“Not if said friend has a crush on you too.”
“You're being serious?”
Prompto smiled. “Yeah, of course I am. I just never thought you'd feel the same way.”
Noctis turned, placing a hand on Prompto's cheek. The touch was warm, comforting even. It calmed Prompto’s heart as he happily leaned against it.
“Well,” Noctis said, his fingers gently running across Prompto’s cheek.. “Glad we both decided to be confident today.”