Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Essek woke up. That was the first strange thing. He hadn't slept in years, and so it was a rather disorienting sensation. The second strange thing was the pounding headache he woke up with

The third was that he didn't know where the fuck he was

He opened his eyes groggily, wincing as a dull pain punched its way through his skull. He felt a mattress beneath him, and blankets over him. But it wasn't his bed - the blankets felt wrong, and the mattress was too hard. There wasn't anyone else in the bed with him, which was a small relief, at least. The bed felt… familiar, in a way he couldn't describe. But he'd never seen it before. It was unsettling

He launched himself up, and regretted it immediately. His head throbbed, and his vision swam. He groaned, curling in on himself. He wasn't particularly well acquainted with hangovers, and every passing second was reminding him why. Every muscle ached, and he could feel bile rising in the back of his throat. But he couldn't pause, he needed to work out where he was. He spotted a phone - his phone - on the bedside table and lunged for it. He pressed the power button, and the flashing no power icon speared through him. Shit

He could feel his breathing getting heavier. Fear coiled into him. He felt like he was being watched. He swung round, waiting for something to leap out of the shadows. He was hyperventilating now. Where am I Where am I Where am I Where am I-

He would like to pretend he was able to fend off the impending panic attack with grace and dignity. In actuality, he misjudged his flailing and toppled off the bed, only just reacting in time to prevent a serious head injury. So now he was on the floor, in a bedroom he didn't recognize, and all the blankets had come down with him. He probably resembled a large fluffy turtle. He sighed. At least no one was here to see that. He stood up

Disentangling himself from the covers, he crept over to the only door he could see. He pressed his ear to the wood, straining to make out anything that might give him more information. He couldn't hear any talking, nor any movement. He couldn't decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing

He tried the door handle. Unlocked. Praying the hinges didn't squeak, he opened the door, pushing it ajar just enough so he could peer into the next room

What he found before him was the lounge area of a fairly unremarkable apartment. The furniture was a little scruffy, the walls an off white. There was a truly staggering amount of bookshelves. His gaze drifted a little lower. His breath shuddered. His legs threatened to give out

In the centre of the room was a weathered sofa, at least ten years old. And lying atop the sofa, fast asleep, was one Caleb Widogast

His fear retreated at the sight of him, making way for curiosity. He went into the lounge, walking as quietly as he could and propping open the door with an empty bottle to stop it slamming shut. He felt ratty old carpet against his feet as he walked. He looked down to discover his feet were completely bare. It didn't take long to find his shoes, set up by the door, his socks folded neatly and left beside them on the floor for him to find

Caleb was sprawled along the sofa at an odd angle, his head resting on the hard looking arm. It didn't look comfortable in the least. His hair was all over the place, as if he had been running his hands through it. He still had his boots on. Hell, he still had his coat on, and his scarf - he must've collapsed almost immediately upon arriving in this place

He stepped closer to his sleeping friend, and frowned. On his shoulder, stark against the pale skin, was a large bruise. Had he gotten into a fight? Essek remembered going out with his friends the previous evening, but he didn't remember much once they arrived at the bar. Caleb wasn't the sort to start fights, unless one of his friends had been insulted. And in that case they would've all joined in. Perhaps that's why he only had the one bruise - his wizard was many things, but ‘good in a brawl’ was not one of them. He looked closer, and startled. Was that a bite mark? What sort of unsavoury characters had they managed to entangle themselves with last night?

He wasn't sure if he made a noise, or if it was simply the presence of another so close to him, but Caleb started to stir. His eyelids flickered, before cracking open slowly, revealing bloodshot eyes beneath
“Ess’k?”
“Caleb” he nodded awkwardly “Um… where are we?”
Caleb blinked. He rolled over a little. He frowned
“Wha’you mean? This’s my apar’ment”
“Oh, right” well, that was a relief “And… why am I in your apartment?”
Caleb looked baffled for a moment, before something seemed to come back to him
“You were- You were drunk. You couldn't remember yuuuur address. So I brought you here. Wuz tha- izz tha’ okay?” he blinked up at him
Something in his stomach fluttered “Yes, that was very kind of you”
Caleb made a noise that sounded vaguely self deprecating, and shut his eyes

“Um… perhaps you should go to bed?” Essek suggested, biting his lip “That sofa can't be good for your back”
“Huh?” His eyes cracked open again “No, but- y’rrrr guest. You get the bed”
That fluttering in his stomach again “That's very sweet, but I don't sleep as long as you do. It's free for you”

Caleb made a little noise of acknowledgement, but made no attempt to move. Essek sighed
“Alright, come here” he held out a hand
Caleb took it, and Essek just about managed to pull him to his feet. He overbalanced, toppling into Essek's shoulder, making him stumble backward. Having the full weight of Caleb leaned against him was more than he anticipated, but he just about managed to stay upright

“Are you well, Caleb?” he asked, looping one of his arms around his shoulders “This isn't hurting you further?”
“Wha’you mean? ‘mm not hurt”
“Aside from the bruise you mean?”
“Bruise?”
“On your shoulder” he pointed
“Hmm-?” Caleb followed his finger. To his surprise, he blushed, his eyes widening “Oh. That's, uh- it wasn't- i’sss not a bruise-”
“What do you- Oh” he felt all the blood drain from his face “You mean it's…?”
“Yeah”
“Oh” he felt light headed all of a sudden “Well, I, ah- I'm glad you're not injured, at least”
“Hmm”

He managed to half lead, half drag Caleb into the bedroom. He sat him down on the edge of the bed and went to undo his scarf. Caleb blinked slowly at him, running his hands along the bed as if he had forgotten it was here until now
“Wha’re you doing?” his voice was slurred
“Taking off your scarf”
“Why?”
“Because I need to get to your coat” he said “There's probably all sorts of things in the pockets that will dig into you as you sleep. But the scarf’s keeping the coat trapped to you, so…” he gestured vaguely
Caleb stared at him for a long while. Essek managed to undo the scarf and pull it up over his head. Then he started on the coat buttons
“You…” Caleb swallowed “You're being kind to me”
Something inside him clenched. He sounded so surprised
“Of course” he said thickly “You were kind to me, bringing me here”
At that, Caleb's face did something strange. But it was gone too fast for Essek to figure out
“Hmm…”

He finished with the buttons. Caleb helped with the arms as he pulled the coat off him. He leaned back, sinking into the mattress with a sigh. Essek chuckled lightly. He knelt down, going to undo the laces on Caleb's boots. Caleb made no kind of acknowledgement of this, his eyes shut and his breathing steady. Essek thought he might've gone to sleep until, just after he had finished with the second shoe, he spoke
“Essek?”
“Hmm?”
“About last night…” Essek paused “I'sss alright. You don't need’t worry about it. We can jus’ preten’ it didn't happen”
Essek swallowed. What had happened last night? Had they had some drunken falling out? Perhaps that's why his being shown basic kindness in this instance was so baffling to him. Had he been the one to give Caleb that bruise? Except, no, wait, it wasn't a bruise, it was- well…

He should explain to Caleb that he couldn't remember whatever this possible argument was. It would be the sensible thing to do, but, well. Caleb was exhausted, clearly, and he wasn't exactly feeling sprightly himself. Perhaps this conversation should wait
“Okay”
Caleb sighed. He sounded… well, tired “Ok, then. Goodnight”
“Goodnight”
Caleb rolled over, and went to sleep

Then there was silence, broken only by Caleb's soft breathing. And Essek just stood there. He didn't want to risk waking him up. What if there were creaky floorboards under all this carpet?

It was strange - in the almost-year he'd known Caleb, he had never considered him particularly at ease. With himself, with his work, with the state of the world. But right now, in this moment, he looked… peaceful. It was sweet. Essek smiled
“Mreeeeow!”
He jerked backwards as a blur of orange came into his field of vision. He just about managed to clamp a hand over his mouth to muffle a scream

He took a moment collecting himself, and when he looked back, some sort of creature was perched on the bed. It was small. Quadrupedal. Orange fur with black stripes that went to rings closer to its hind. Keen yellow eyes peered at him with suspicion. It opened its maw, revealing its sharp teeth, leaned forward on clawed paws, and hissed

Essek felt frozen to the spot. He was torn between running, or throwing himself between Caleb and this beast, whatever it was. Caleb stirred, and the thing turned to look at him. Essek's stomach lurched, but the creature didn't move to attack. Caleb reached toward it blindly, mumbling in Zemnian
“Frieden, Frumpkin. Er’st gefahrlos”
“Mrow?”
The creature hopped over Caleb's legs, and curled itself up by his head. Caleb's hand followed, running down the creature’s back over and over
“Das ist Essek. Ein Freund. Schlaf”
There was a strange rumbling noise, and after a moment he realised it was coming from the creature. Its eyes were now closed, its attention diverted. Whatever the thing was, it must be Caleb's pet

He turned and left the room. As he did, he was struck by the thought that he had heard Caleb mention a ‘Frumpkin’ in the past. It had stuck in his mind, as he had considered it a surprisingly cute name for an arcanist of his calibre to give a pet. He had just (wrongfully, clearly) assumed he had been speaking of a dog. A rather strange assumption, in hindsight - just because Jester had a dog, didn't mean every Imperial pet would be similarly canine. He would need to look up more Imperial animals - so far all he had seen were dogs, pigeons and one distressed weasel. But, in order to do that, he would need a working phone

He found a charger plugged into the wall under a window, and luckily the end fit in his phone. He didn't have long to celebrate that victory before his headache came back with a vengeance. He staggered to the kitchen, head in hands, and poured himself a glass of water. At the end of the kitchen was another door. Essek couldn't help his curiosity. On the other side was some kind of small storage cupboard, and inside there were several blankets. Ah, jackpot!

He grabbed a couple at random and tiptoed back into the bedroom. The creature seemed to have joined his master in slumber, praise the Luxon. He laid the blanket over Caleb, trying to cover as much of him as possible while avoiding the orange beast. The way Caleb had his head tilted, the bruise- no, the hickey was on full display. Deep, dark blue-purple, the size of a satsuma. Two indentations from what looked like fangs. For some reason, looking at it made nausea rise up in him

He felt something move against his wrist, and jumped, gaze shifting down. Caleb was looking blearily up at him, his eyelids only open a fraction
“Essek?” his voice was rough, barely louder than a whisper
“Hush, Caleb, go back to sleep”
His hand moved, gripping Essek's wrist weakly
“Es tut mir leid, dass ich dich nicht geküsst habe” his eyes were shining “Ich wollte es. Ich verspreche”
Essek didn't understand most of that, but he had heard Caleb say ‘Es tut mir leid’ quite a lot in the past. He was fairly sure it meant ‘Sorry’. His stomach clenched
“It's… It's quite alright” he tried “It's in the past. Just forget about it” he pulled the blanket over his shoulder and added, softly “V'dri, ussta vallabha abbil”
Caleb's mouth twitched up “Deine Stimme ist schön”
His eyes closed again

Essek left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. He went and sat down by his charging phone, back against the wall. He wanted to read, but he doubted the small text in books would help with his headache. So that just left him with his thoughts. Joy

He looked around the small apartment, curious despite himself. When he had first arrived in Rexxuntrum, he had failed to make preparations for accommodation. He had emigrated from Xhorhas rather hastily (read: ran away) and had been very lucky that the two people he knew outside of his home country - Jester from her blog posts about his guilty pleasure books turned online friendship, and Caleb from discovering him on magic forums turned Skype calls and exchanged theories - had both been willing to help him, and willing to bring him into their shared friend group

Caleb had managed to get him an interview with the university he worked at, which turned into them working in the same department, and Jester had offered to open up the spare bedroom in her flat to him. And he had accepted gratefully at the time, but… Jester might be a wonderful person, and an even better friend, but the two of them were not suited to living together. She was very loud, in everything she did. Be that the decoration of the walls, the parties she held, or the… activities occurring with her boyfriend Fjord, who came over very frequently. He had learned quickly to invest in noise cancelling headphones, and had been very glad when he managed to save enough for a place of his own

However, Caleb had also offered to open his home to Essek, when he had first arrived. He had realised just after he said it that it might not be the best option, given his apartment's lack of a guest room. But even so, this could've been the place he lived in, in another world. What would it have been like? He'd like to think it would've been nice. This building wasn't large, by any stretch, but it was… cosy. Homely. And he imagined that he and Caleb would've probably made better flatmates than he ever was to Jester

He couldn't help but wonder about the previous night. He knew it was pointless speculating, not when there was no way to gather evidence- well, actually, if he was to break into Caleb's phone… No. He squeezed his eyes shut. No, he wasn't going to do that. An invasion of privacy like that would be something that Old Essek would do. He was better than that now. Or, he was trying to be

His mind drifted, of its own volition, to the bruise decorating Caleb's shoulder. The bite mark. The hickey. Who was it who had done that to him? Someone at the bar? Or did he have a significant other he hadn't told them about? Was it everyone who didn't know, or was it just him whom he didn't trust? The idea hurt, even if it was understandable. But the alternative… An image came into his mind, of some dark, shadowed figure at the bar pressing Caleb up against a wall, sucking bruises into his skin. It was disconcerting, how upsetting he found that idea

He had seen enough similar bite marks on his brother to know whoever this mysterious partner was, they were definitely drow - the two imprints were too close together for it to be anything else. So that certainly narrowed it down. There were hardly any drow in Rexxuntrum. He didn't think he'd seen any others around, in fact. Or at least, not any that he could remember. But no. He shouldn't be attempting to find any secret significant others of Caleb. He was his friend. He just had to believe that, even if Caleb didn't trust him enough yet to tell him about this, he would in time

He checked his phone. 30%. More than enough to figure out where he was in relation to his flat and return there. Thank the hells. He couldn't stand to sit here alone a moment longer.

He stood up, shut his eyes and shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts. It didn’t work. Switching on his phone, he got up and left the apartment, taking his shoes with him. He couldn’t help but feel… disappointed as the lock clicked behind him. And he had no idea why

Chapter Text

Caleb was avoiding him

It wouldn't have been obvious to anyone who wasn't very aware of their respective habits. Essek's research led him to spend most of his time in his office in front of a computer, with the door closed. And Caleb had several lectures every day, so he spent the majority of his days out of their department. So to the untrained eye, it would be perfectly reasonable for them not to run into each other over the course of a day

And yet, they always managed to find time for each other. Caleb always seemed to know when he'd hit a lull in his research, and he'd come to expect that hopeful knock on his office door two or three times a day. And it was always obvious to him when Caleb was in their department’s little lounge area - the timbre of his voice had become very familiar to him over the last year. But he hadn't been in there once all day. And there had been no knocks on his door

Caleb was choosing not to talk to him. Why did that hurt so much?

Of course there was every chance he was simply busy. He always seemed to have hundreds of little tasks he needed to get done all at once, what with his classes and marking coursework and his research projects (always multiple, he could never stick to just one idea). But, well. It hardly seemed a coincidence, that the first weekday in months where he hadn't seen Caleb came right after a weekend where some vaguely undefined Bad Thing happened involving the two of them

And just the two of them, it seemed. He had spoken to Jester about it that morning. She worked at the coffee shop where he got his breakfast (though ‘work’ might be the wrong term for what she did - she charmed enough customers into returning that it made perfect sense that the shop kept employing her, but she very rarely did the tasks she was actually paid to do). According to her, Caleb had been perfectly happy when he had left the bar with a very drunk Essek in tow (she'd shown him several videos of himself that she recorded. They were all mortifying). There had been no major arguments at the bar. He had also left with just Essek, and had arrived home fast enough that there probably weren't any detours - he had texted them all to let them know he'd got home safe. So there was probably no secret significant other. He wasn't sure why that was such a relief

He sat in his office, watching idly as numbers flashed across his screen. Most of his research these days focused on weaving the arcane through modern technology - much to Xhorhas’s chargin - and this was no different. He wanted to see if he could use chronomancy to speed up slow computer programs. And unfortunately, in order to test anything, he needed a control sample. So what he was doing right now was waiting for a program he knew was functionally useless, and that he specifically designed to take as long as possible without setting his computer on fire, and timing it as it ran. One could hardly blame him for letting his mind wander

He was familiar enough with Caleb's schedule to know he was about to start a lecture, although he couldn't say where or what on. He hoped he was well enough for it - he wasn't sure how long hangovers lasted in humans. Perhaps… perhaps he had called in sick. It would be the sensible thing to do, if he wasn't doing well, and it would mean there was a reason why he hadn't seen him all day. He could- he should go and check

He logged onto the website the university used to keep track of which lecture theatres were used by whom at what time. He found the right one very quickly - Practical Applications of Transmutation in Lecture Theatre E. The site still listed Caleb as the lecturer, but if he had been replaced at the last minute then the university definitely wouldn't have been organised enough to update people's timetables. It seemed the only way he'd know for sure was to go and check for himself

Well. It wasn't like there was much keeping him here at the moment, was there?

It was a short walk across campus from their department to the lecture theatres. But it was long enough for him to realise he had no plan as to what he was going to say. He wanted desperately to fill the gap in his memory, but given they seem to have argued, did he truly want to know? And would Caleb want to talk about it?
About last night… It's alright. You don't need to worry about it. We can just pretend it didn't happen
Had he said that, because he himself wanted to pretend, or because he believed Essek would? Agh, Light's sake, this was all so very frustrating. If he could just remember anything, anything at all-

But if he chose not to ask about the argument, what else could he say he was there for? Admittedly, he was curious about the orange beast that had perched on Caleb's bed, but he didn't want to ask about that. He knew Caleb was under the impression that he was a refined, knowledgeable, judicious type, and he wasn't about to ruin that reputation by asking about an animal that seemed to be quite common in this part of the world. He had attempted to Google “orange animal four legs pointy ears”, but he didn't get very far with it. He was fairly sure that, whatever it was, it wasn't a fox or a red squirrel

He reached the lecture theatre just on the hour ít was starting. There was a door at the back of the hall, so it was easy to sneak in unnoticed. And there was Caleb. He didn't look ill, which was a relief, but he did look tired. The bags under his eyes were far more pronounced than usual, and he could detect a tremor in his right hand that wasn't usually there. There had been two nights between now and the morning he had woken up in his apartment. Had he not been sleeping well since then?

All it took was a simple hand gesture, and the whole class fell silent. And then he started to teach. Essek couldn't help but fall entranced. Caleb was always hard to look away from, especially when he was excited about something. Normally he was excited about learning something new, either from his research or Essek's lessons. But now, speaking about his area of expertise, there was a confidence to him that made something in Essek stir. It was utterly mesmerising. He already knew most of what he was talking about, and yet he thought he would be content sitting here for hours, just listening to him teach

The hour-long lecture passed in an instant. Essek blinked, and it was over. Most of the students filed out, but a few stayed behind to ask questions. It was all the distraction he needed for him to come down the stairs to the front of the room, and lean against the wall. Caleb didn't respond to his presence at all

The remaining students left, and Caleb started organising his bag. For a while there was silence. He wasn't sure if Caleb was deliberately ignoring him, or just hadn't spotted him
“An interesting lecture” he said “You are an excellent orator”
Caleb jumped, swearing in Zemnian. Then, taking in the words, he flushed
“Ah, well… so says the pot to the kettle” he waved a hand dismissively
Essek tilted his head to the side “The what?”
“The… Oh. I just meant, so are you”
Essek chuckled “To smaller groups, perhaps. People to whom I'm at least a little familiar. But to a crowd of strangers, and children no less? I wouldn't be able to explain arcanum half so well as you did, and have them come away with any understanding. I doubt there are many capable of it to quite your calibre”
Caleb smiled sheepishly, turning to face him “I imagine most of my students would resent being called ‘children’” he said, clearly unsure how to respond to the compliment

He's not looking me in the eye, he noticed. And the flush that had started in his face wasn't retreating - if anything, it was getting stronger
“So, ah, what can I do for you, mein Freund?” he said
“You've been avoiding me”
It wasn't a question. It didn't need to be. Caleb bit his lip, eyes now fixed on the ground
“Ja. I have. I'm sorry. You weren't there when I woke up on Saturday morn- afternoon, so I thought you didn't want to see me”
Essek frowned “Why would I have stayed?”
Caleb flinched
“Ja, well, quite” he laughed bitterly “Anyway, I thought you might want some space after…” he trailed off

“Right…” he sighed “Caleb, I don't remember what happened”
Caleb blinked slowly “Was?”
“I don't remember what happened that night” he said again “I remember coming to the bar, I remember meeting up with you and everyone else, but after that… it's all gone. I must've had too much to drink”
Caleb's jaw went slack
“You… did have a lot to drink…” he said quietly
“So, listen-” he swallowed “Whatever argument we had, whatever cruelties I laid at your feet, it was unfounded and unwarranted; I value your friendship above all-”
“Essek” he reached over to put a hand on his arm, effectively shutting him up “What are you-? What makes you think-? We didn't argue that night. At least, nothing beyond silly drunken bickering”

“But then…” he furrowed his brow “If I didn't insult you, why have you been avoiding me? What happened?”
Had he simply grown tired of his company? It wouldn't be the first time it had happened, though in previous instances it didn't hurt anywhere near as much as this prospect did
“I…” Caleb pulled his arm back. His blush seemed to get worse, if that were possible “You might not believe me…”
“Just tell me, Caleb. Tell me how I hurt you. Tell me how I can make it right”

“You didn't hurt me Essek” said Caleb “You… kissed me”
Essek's brain short-circuited
“I… what?”
“You kissed me” Caleb took a deep breath “After we reached my apartment. The others don't know, so you don't have to worry about teasing-”
“Wha-?” his mind was molasses “But I don't-”
“It's alright, I know you don't feel anything for me” Caleb said, hiding his face briefly “I knew you were very drunk. You probably thought I was someone else”
“No, that's not- I wouldn't have thought that. There’s no one else I- that I would've wanted to… do that to…”
“Oh. Well, okay then” Caleb scratched the back of his head

“So, the bruise on your shoulder…” he swallowed “That was… me?”
Caleb nodded mutely. Essek's mind screeched to a halt once again
“I… I… I shouldn't have done that” his insides felt cold “I'm sorry”
“It's alright” Caleb said again “It's faded enough that it's easy to hide-”
“No, no no no, that's not- I shouldn't have just… jumped you” the very idea made him sick to his core “Even if I was drunk, I should've asked permission-”
“You did”
“Huh?”
Caleb's blush flared up again. He didn't respond

Essek processed this in silence. Or at least, he tried to. His mind was a whirlwind, a hurricane. Static on a broken television. He trusted Caleb with everything, so he knew what he was saying was true. But it just… it wasn't the sort of thing he did. He didn't go around kissing people. Not unless he was trying to seduce them, on the rare occasion where he did that
“The… the bed” he said slowly, chewing on the words as they came out “You weren't there with me. We didn't-?”
“Oh!” Caleb's eyes went very wide “No! No, it was just one kiss. And, uh, well-” he gestured awkwardly to his shoulder
Oh, well. Good. At least that was something

“So, ah…” Caleb pulled out a fidget toy “Now you can see why I thought you might want to keep your distance”
“No… surely it would be you who'd want to stay away from me, right? After all, I'm the one who… did that to you”
Caleb made a noise that might have almost been a laugh “You make it sound like you attacked me”
“Well-”
“No, Schatzi” Caleb finally looked him in the eye “I told you, you asked permission. I gave it. You've done nothing wrong. I just thought you may be embarrassed, that's all”
“So… you're not upset at me?”
“Nein, not at all”
Essek released a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding “Ah. Good. That's… good. I… Caleb…”

Caleb's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, and jumped
“Scheiße! My next lecture’s in two minutes. I'm going to be late” he pulled his bag over his shoulder “I need to go-”
“Oh, er, yes, of course-”
“It's another hour one. Maybe…” his eyes met his again, suddenly nervous “Maybe I could find you afterwards?”
Essek smiled “Xas. Yes, I'd like that”
Relief overtook Caleb's expression, so strong it hurt Essek's heart. Then he turned on his heels and ran from the the room

Now alone, Essek's head swam. He felt as though he were falling, despite him currently looking at his feet firmly planted on the ground. What spooked him wasn't so much that he had kissed Caleb - though of course, that was quite the shock - but more that he couldn't remember anything about it. Caleb clearly could, and was clearly upset by it, if not at him. But he couldn't be sure what the specifics were that he should be apologising for. He hated this. This stretch of hours that were a void in his mind. It was the same reason why he detested sleep

He hadn't noticed himself moving, but he found himself walking back to his office. As good a destination as any, he supposed. He kept walking

Caleb said he had asked permission before… doing that, so he must've said yes, right? If he'd said no, then he wouldn't have done it. He might not remember it, but he knew his own mind well enough to be sure of that. Why on earth did Caleb say yes? He knew Caleb was attracted to him, but that didn't mean he particularly wanted to act on that. And if he had wanted it, why had they stopped after only the one kiss? He was sure, even though it hadn't been said, that Caleb had been the one to stop it - he wasn't one to do things in half measures, and if he wanted to kiss Caleb in that moment, he definitely wouldn't have only wanted it once. So Caleb had stopped it, and yet he had said yes when asked. Why? Had he felt threatened, cajoled in some way? The very thought was horrible

And why had he kissed Caleb in the first place? It's not like he was curious about the sensation - he had kissed people before. He'd done more than kiss people before, and remembered the experience perfectly well. He'd found it all rather tedious in the past. He'd heard it was different with someone you were attracted to, but he wasn't attracted to Caleb, right? Every book he'd ever read told him that physical attraction happened immediately upon meeting a person. There'd been nothing like that when they had first met, or even upon first seeing him in real life. It was possible that he was an unusual case, but… well, it did mean there were far fewer books available for him to consult on the matter

It was a shame he didn't have anyone to ask about all this. His friends were all rather knowledgeable about desire and, in Cad’s case, the last thereof. But they were all also Caleb's friends, so he could hardly expect them to be objective. He needed someone who he was close to, but who had no stake in his relationship with Caleb. Preferably someone who he knew well, and trusted, and had experience with matters of the heart…

Of course. Why hadn't he thought of him first?

He reached his office. The program was still running, but that wasn't a surprise - it would be for hours. He sat down, pulled out his phone, and found his brother's number. His chest twisted. He hadn't had the chance to say a proper goodbye to Verin when he left, and nor had he told him when he was going, beyond ‘somewhere safe’. He hoped he wasn't upset at him

He scrolled through the pictures on his phone, finding the most recent one with Caleb present. There weren't many available - Caleb tended to like being the one to take the pictures, rather than be present in them

He found one from about a month ago, and sent it to Verin

Do you think the human in this picture is attractive?

He realised just after sending it that Beauregard was also present

The man I mean?

He switched off the screen and put his phone back in his pocket. He hadn't spoken to his brother in months, and he was in a different time zone. It would take a while for him to see the message, and he would probably make him wait for an answer

The phone buzzed within two minutes. Essek jumped, pulling it back out and turning it back on

Sure
Not exactly my type
But yes hes cute
Why do you ask?

Essek frowned. That was a good question. Technically whether or not Verin found Caleb attractive was irrelevant, and yet for some reason that fact that he did felt good. But he couldn't say that, it sounded bizarre. So he didn't answer

Instead, he bit his lip and asked

If someone kisses someone when they're drunk, does it count?

He could see that Verin read his message instantly, but there was a pause before he started typing a response

es has something hapened
did thatman do somthing to you
i can get red of him
if you want
i can bethere tmrw
if i leeve now

Oh, bollocks. Maybe he had phrased that badly

No, nothing has happened to me. You don't need to worry, and you certainly don't need to come here. He's a friend of mine

Alright alright
Keep your pants on

He sighed. Now sure Verin wasn't about to run to the nearest train station on an ill-conceived rescue mission, he went back and re-read his texts properly. The spelling mistakes suggested he'd typed as fast as possible. A wave of affection came over him. Verin had always been protective of him, even when they were little. Essek might've been older, but Verin overtook him in height very early on. This wouldn't have been the first time he had fended off bullies for him

Light, he missed him sometimes

So he kissed you when he was drunk?
Were you drunk too?

No, I kissed him. Apparently. I don't know if he was drunk, I don't think he was
I don't remember anything that happened, but I woke up in his bed and he was asleep on a sofa and he said I kissed him

And you trust him?

Yes. I don't think he'd have a reason to lie

He could be trying to trick you
Into dating him

He's not like that. And-

He paused his typing. Should he tell his brother more? He took a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound…

He's not like that. And he had one of those kissing bruises on his neck. It hadn't been there the previous evening, and everyone says he only left with me

…You gave someone a hickey??
You sure youre really Essek???

Essek frowned. His surprise was a little insulting, even if it was entirely reasonable

Yes, I am. Et'zarreth

Alright alright lol
What do you mean ‘does it count?’

Does it mean I'm attracted to him?

His fingers shook a bit as he typed out the hypothetical. Like even floating the idea might set it in concrete

It doesnt have to mean anything

He was given several seconds to breathe a sigh of relief. But then Verin kept talking

But the fact ur asking suggests its up in the air

He shut his eyes for a moment, gathering his thoughts. When he opened them, Verin had said more

Do you think this guys attractive?
Bit more important than what I think lol

I don't know. I haven't ever really consciously thought about it before. Objectively yes he's good looking, but that's not attraction, that's just spotting relative symmetry

Ur such a nerd
Did he kiss you back?

I don't know. Why?

Would you like it if he had?
Would you like him to again?

Essek bit his lip. He hadn't let himself imagine that until now. What would it be like, to be kissed by Caleb Widogast? He approached every problem he found with a single-minded determination that Essek had always admired. He imagined his attitude toward… physical pleasures would be rather the same. What would it be like, to be subjected to the full force of Caleb's attentions? He had experienced a similar level of scrutiny during their lessons, and that had been overwhelming enough, even through a laptop screen. To have that again, in person - perhaps one of his broad hands on his cheek, leaning in, lips soft and warm and eager…

I think I might be attracted to him

;)
Whats his name?

Caleb Widogast

Oh THATS Caleb?
Oh yeah your definitely into him
I couldve told you that lol
You wouldnt shut up about him
So annoying

You make me sound like some lovestruck teenager
Also it's you're not your

I wonder why???
Also shut up

I'm not in love with him-

He stopped himself before he sent that. Was he in love? That concept sounded so foreign to him - a puzzle piece not built to fit in him. But, well. Being around Caleb was always so wonderful. And he didn't realise he was attracted to him until about two minutes ago. It was worth asking, at least

Okay don't laugh. How do you know if you're in love with someone?
Because all the descriptions I've seen in books make it basically sound like friendship

Hmm
Hard question

Essek rolled his eyes. Very helpful, brother

Id say
You know it when you see it
But thats not useful is it

Not particularly, no

You have other friends right?

Yes, Verin, I have other friends

Is how you feel about this one different?

Essek thought about that. He didn't have to think for very long

Yes

How so?

He's… safe. Home. He knows me better
Or, no, they all know me very well. But he… understands? I'm not sure how to phrase it
I relax the most around him
Be myself
But that could just be because I speak to him more often

Okay
That sounds right to me
Why do you want to know?

So I know if I should do something about it

Asking him out?

Yes

If you knew you were in love with him youd ask him out?

Yes

Ok
Ask him out

How do you know I'm in love with him?

I dont
Ask him out

But what if it turns out I'm not?

Then maybe you fall for him over time
You dont have to understand entirely how youre feeling to start something with this guy
If you want to try something new than do it
And you clearly do
So ask him out

Essek swallowed. His breath was shaking

What if it goes wrong?
He's important to me

I know saying it wont isnt very helpful
But
It wont
Youre good friends
You can talk about it
Like grown ups
If he says no he says no
You can stay friends

What if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore?

He still wants to talk to you after you kissed him
Doesnt he?
And if he doesnt hes a dumbass and ill beat him up for you

Essek smiled. He didn't think Verin stood a chance against the Mighty Nein, but the sentiment was sweet

Thank you, Verin. You've been very helpful

For once haha
Are you gonna ask him then?

I'm going to think about it

Alright alright
Hope it goes well when you do

If I do

When you do
Youll tell me how it goes?

If you want to know

Yep
I hope youre very happy with him
:D

Essek sighed. He'd had quite the couple hours. He needed to think. Caleb was finishing his lecture in about a quarter of an hour. He wasn't going to mention any of this today. He wasn't that rash. But… tomorrow was another day. He'd have to see

Also, this isn't important at all, but do you know of any small Imperial animals with orange fur, pointy ears and little claws?

Um…
Maybe a fox?

Essek groaned, and turned off his phone

Chapter Text

Essek paced up and down the corridor by Caleb's front door. He had been doing so for the past fifteen minutes

What am I doing here?, he wondered for the umpteenth time. This wasn't a romantic comedy film - there wasn't some contrived reason as to why had had to talk to Caleb at right this moment. Should he leave right now, he would see Caleb at work tomorrow and this conversation could take place in his office. He had enough free time there for it, for certain. And yet, here he was, pacing. The world had not decreed he be here, and yet his heart seemed to

It's not like he even knew what he was going to say. He felt, given the circumstances, it would be appropriate to give some grand speech to declare his feelings. And yet, his mind came up empty every time he had tried to compose on the drive here. That felt like a failing on his part. Caleb very much deserved romantic gestures, frequent and extravagant. He would need to study in future, should this conversation go as he hoped

He took a deep breath, and went to the door. It loomed over him, casting its captious shadow over his heart. His hands shook as his raised a hand and knocked

The door opened immediately, fast enough to make him jump. Caleb peered down at him, looking concerned
“Are you alright, Essek? Has something happened?”
Essek blinked “Did you know I was here?”
“Ja. These walls aren't too thick. And your pacing was quite loud. Then I texted you and heard your phone receive it through the door, so…” he shrugged “You sounded agitated. I didn't want to spook you. Is something wrong?”
“No. Well… mostly no. It doesn't have to be. I mean-” he shook his head, trying to clear it “Can I come in? I need to talk to you”
“Of course…”
Caleb leaned against the door, letting Essek inside

The apartment was a lot messier than it had been three days ago. The beast trotted in from the bedroom. Upon seeing Essek, he raised his head haughtily, tuned on his heel, and strolled back the way he came
“I don't think your… pet likes me very much” he said
Caleb laughed “If he didn't like you, he would've attacked you by now. He's just cautious around strangers”
“Hmm. A sensible instinct”
“Quite”

Essek turned back. Caleb was hovering awkwardly by the now closed door, playing with his hands
“Can I get you a drink?” he said mechanically
“No, that's quite alright, I won't be staying long” he responded in turn, before blinking “Or, well, I might - I guess it sort of… depends…”
Caleb tipped his head to the side, raising an eyebrow in curiosity “Okay. What did you need to talk about?”
Essek opened his mouth, but no sound came out. He really should've prepared this beforehand…

“Did you kiss me back?” he blurted out
Oh, okay. Might as well get straight to it, then
Caleb's eyes widened “Was?”
“When I kissed you, last time I was here. Did you kiss me back?”
“I-”
One of Caleb's hands jumped to his upper arm, but then he stopped himself
“Um, ja” he admitted ”B- But, just briefly”
“Why did you stop?”
“…You were drunk” he said, like it was obvious “You were barely aware of your surroundings, the whole bus ride home. You probably had no idea who I was. I- Well, I assume you just wanted sex, and I happened to be the nearest warm body”
“I doubt that”
Caleb's brow furrowed “Why?”
He shrugged “It's very rare that I want sex, and even rarer I want to… partake with someone else. I haven't felt that particular urge for almost five years. It's not impossible that it flared up again that night, but- well. Like I said. I doubt it”
He realised after speaking just how much he had just said. He blushed, but Caleb barely seemed to notice

Caleb frowned “But… but then why-?”
“So the only reason you stopped was because I was drunk?” he interrupted
“Ja. You were in no position to give consent, and I was mostly sober still so I had a responsibility to look after you”
“So, if I wasn't drunk…” he took in a long breath “If I had been sober when I asked… you would've said yes?”
“I… Well…” he laughed awkwardly “It… It doesn't really matter, does it? You wouldn't ask while sober, so…”
“But if I did?” he insisted
He knew he was being a coward by demanding this. But that didn't stop him. Cowardice was an impulse hard to unlearn, it seemed

Caleb looked mortified
“I… would, yes” he couldn't look him in the eye “I'm sorry”
Something in his chest flared
“You don't need to apologise. I asked in this hypothetical”
“Ja, well… the implications…” he sighed “You don't need to worry about it. I'm quite adept at hiding unrequited feelings from others. I have had a lot of practice - my heart is a traitorous little beast to me sometimes” he laughed bitterly “So, I'm not going to… I don't know. You don't need to worry, anyway. We can still be… this. Nothing needs to change. Okay?”
“Okay” he said, without really thinking
He needed to tell Caleb everything. Damn his nerves, just watching the sadness bloom in his eyes was killing him-

“May I ask a question in return?” said Caleb
Essek blinked, thrown out of his train of thought
“Of course”
“Why did you-” he sighed again “I know you don't remember, but I don't suppose you have any guesses as to why you kissed me? If you didn't think I was someone else, and you didn't want sex… I don't know. I know you were drunk, so it could've all just been muddled and random, but…” he squeezed his eyes shut “The memory of that kiss has been haunting me. I can't sleep but for thinking of it. So any insights you might have… I would be very grateful for”
He swallowed. Time to be brave “I cannot say for sure, but I believe the alcohol helped me realise things it has taken me several days since to rediscover”
“Realise what?”
“That I… have feelings for you”

Caleb froze. His face had gone slack. Essek bit his lip. There, he'd done it. He'd set off the bomb. Now he just had to wait for the smoke to clear, to uncover what destruction he has wrought
“What” Caleb stumbled over his words “What sort of feelings?”
“I cannot say for certain, I only realised yesterday. I've been turning it all over in my mind all day, but I haven’t gotten very far. I know I love you” he said, and Caleb's breath hitched “But I cannot say for certain the particulars of what type or types of love it is. I don't exactly have much experience with this. Or, well, any really” he laughed sheepishly “I just know… I care for you a great deal, and I love being around you. And, well… you are very handsome” he could feel his face start to heat “So, um, to answer your question, I imagine I kissed you because I realised that I very much wanted to. Kiss you, I mean” he added awkwardly

Caleb didn't say anything for a long time. His face was unnervingly hard to read. Essek kept talking - now that gate had been opened, it didn't seem to want to close
“I must've realised at the bar. Maybe someone talked to me about it. It seems I'm incapable of knowing my own heart before conferring with a trusted advisor. I've been texting my brother, an- Honestly, how did it not cross my mind that I was the one who kissed you? I knew it was…” he couldn't help but laugh “Honestly, I'm such a fool with matters of the heart. I just… it's been such a long time since I kissed anyone, and even longer since I actively wanted to. I was barely out of childhood, some stupid, fumbling teenager. And what I felt for them wasn't half so intense as what I feel for you. I've been under the impression that I wasn't someone who wanted those… softer intimacies. I mean, libido is one thing, but… I'm sorry, I really need to shut up”
Strange, he never usually had a problem with verbosity. But, well, even right at the start he'd had the habit of telling his friends far too much. Why stop now?

Caleb was staring at him, still in a stunned silence. Slowly, he took a careful step towards him
“You want to kiss me” he sounded as though he couldn't decide if that was a question or not
“Yes” he did his best to look him in the eye “It's alright, I know- well, you desire me, but it probably doesn't go any further than that, so we don't have to-”
He didn't notice Caleb's hand moving until it made contact with his cheek. He gasped quietly, savouring the feeling of Caleb caressing the skin, his jaw
“Who said I don't want more?”
“I- I- Oh, that-”

He leaned into his touch. The contact was grounding, somehow. It made him braver
“I really like you, Caleb” he whispered “And I don't think it's just in a friend way”
Caleb's eyes were shining. And - oh. He was very close to him now
“I really like you too” his voice sent shivers down his spine “And I'd very much like to kiss you. May I?”
Essek didn't trust himself to speak. He nodded. Caleb smiled, radiant, and closed the distance between them

He felt suddenly aware of his own body, its movements. Every touch. He felt stiff, uncoordinated. Less a thinking creature and more a bundle of twigs given sentience. The first brush of Caleb's lips against him was a spark that set him ablaze. He shuddered, welcoming the inferno

Caleb tried to pull away after a short moment, but Essek chased after him, pressing more firmly against him. He felt a pleased hum against his lips, and a joyous warmth bloomed within him

One of Caleb's broad hands pressed against his lower back, pushing him in closer. He went eagerly, sparks shooting through him as their bodies met. The hand that had been on his cheek moved down to grip his hip. Essek made a deeply embarrassing noise at that, pressing deeper in the hope it might be muffled against Caleb's mouth. Given Caleb's answering chuckle, and the feeling of a teasing squeeze on his hip, he doubted it worked very well

They pulled away for air, but only by a hair's breadth. Essek's body was jelly. He found he couldn't form words. But that was okay. He was content to simply share air for a moment
“Was that-” Caleb was breathing heavily too “Was that okay?”
“Hmm” he nodded
“Can we- Can I try that again?”
“Hmm”

Caleb beamed and leaned back in. Essek put a hand up to his chest to pause him
“I'd like to- to keep going-” he could only manage a few words between each gulp of air “But I think- I need to- lean against a wall- or something… My legs feel like that of a newborn deer”
Caleb raised an eyebrow “I have that much of an effect on you?”
He was clearly going for teasing, but he couldn't help but answer in earnest “Of course. You shake the very foundation of the earth out from under me”
Caleb blinked owlishly at him “…Oh”
Essek sighed, grinning “My dear, sweet, wizard. You will be the death of me” he said, and kissed him

Caleb's arms were back around him in an instant. He felt himself being turned around, and led backwards. He went willingly, paying far more attention to warm lips and exploratory touches

He felt his calves hit something solid. He pulled back, to find them halfway across the room, his back to the coach. Caleb pushed him back gently, and he dropped onto the seat. Caleb followed, straddling him with his thighs and pulling him into another kiss, deeper, hotter than the others. Essek's stomach swooped

He pulled back only when his lungs had completely run out of air. Caleb didn't seem to be worried about breathing - he continued, running his mouth against his cheek, along his jaw, down his neck. Each touch drew new sounds out of him, whines and moans that even he had never heard before. But he was far too gone to be embarrassed anymore. Not when it all felt so good…

Caleb reached his shoulder and paused
“May I mark you?” he asked, his voice rough with use
“Wha- mar-?”
Before he could ask, Caleb shifted, and he got a full view of the hickey, faded but still present on his skin. Realisation struck him like a blow
“O-Oh. I… okay. Please. M-Mark me” he wasn't used to saying things like that. The words stumbled awkwardly out of his mouth
Caleb pulled back, to look him in the eye “Are you sure, Schatz?”
“Yes, I am. I… I want us to match”
Caleb's eyes softened

Caleb fell quiet, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek before leaning back a little to consider his canvas. Cold fingertips brushed his clavicle, searching for the perfect spot. Essek shivered. It was always captivating, watching Caleb work. And this was all the more intense
“Please…” spilled out of him, unbidden, desperate
Caleb groaned and surged forward, running his mouth along a spot high on his neck. A distant part of him realised that a mark there would be very hard to hide later. But that thought only made him tilt his head back, allowing him better access

At the first sensation of blunt teeth across skin, Essek's whole body jolted. His arm jumped forward, latching onto Caleb's back. It was imperative that he didn't stop whatever it was he was doing. Caleb's mouth was so warm, hot, and entirely overwhelming. He felt as though he had swallowed several lit sparklers
“Caleb…” he whined
“Hmm?” Caleb's voice rumbled against his throat
“I… I don't know” he giggled, feeling wonderfully giddy “I just like saying your name”
“Ah” Caleb chuckled “Well, I rather enjoy your name too, Essek Thelyss”
Essek shivered, pleasure rushing through him

He felt his mind start to drift. He shut his eyes, and let himself float in sensation. All his worries, all the stresses he carried, were quiet in this moment. There was only the softness of the sofa at his back, the comforting pressure of Caleb's body against his front, the heat of the mouth at his neck. Everything was starting to blur, and it was a surprise how easy he found it to turn off. Just for this moment, he was safe, he was taken care of

When he opened his eyes, he found Caleb in front of him again, fond eyes peering down at him
“You back with us, love?” he said
“Hmm?” Essek blinked
“You went into your own head a bit, there. Are you okay?”
“Wha-? Oh” he sighed “Yes. It was nice, to let go a bit”
Caleb smiled “I'm glad”

Caleb climbed off him, sitting down beside him on the sofa. Essek could help but feel disappointed at that
“Oh, are you not going to-?” he gestured to his shoulder
“Am I not?”
Caleb reached over, and pressed a thumb against his neck. A gentle shock of pain shot through him, and he hissed
“O-Oh”
He pulled out his phone and turned on the camera. Turning it toward himself, he tilted his head toward the screen. He could just about spot where his skin was turning a dark indigo
“It won't be quite as obvious as yours was” he said quietly
“Ah, well, that's quite alright” Caleb brought his mouth right up to his ear and whispered “We'll both know it's there”
He dropped his phone. Caleb chuckled

As he bent down to pick up his phone, he felt Caleb shift. When he looked up, Caleb had laid down, an arm under his head. He barely had time to wonder if he should give him some space, when he reached out and grabbed Essek by the shirt, pulling him down atop him
“Caleb-!” he yelped “What are you…?”
He felt two arms wrap around his middle, and pull him close. Their legs tangled together like headphone wires. He rested his head on Caleb’s chest. The fabric of his shirt was soft against his cheek, and if he pressed close… there! His heart, a steady thump thump thump pulsing through him. He sighed

For a while they lay in silence. Caleb traced vague shapes on his back, while his hand found its way into Caleb's hair. It was fine and sleek, he discovered, slipping through his fingers like water. Caleb's fingers found their way back to his new hickey, tracing around it in a large enough orbit to not cause any pain
“Was- Was this okay?” Caleb asked again “It wasn't too much?”
“No, it's good. It's perfect” he smiled
“Ah, okay. Gut. It just- the thing you said about not liking sex… I want to make sure I'm not making you uncomfortable”

Essek attempted to parse through their previous conversation to find what he was referring to. Everything that happened before Caleb started kissing was a blur. But there- ah, yes, there was it
“That's not- I meant I don't like having sex purely for its own sake. I wouldn't have wanted it if you were just a… ‘warm body’, I think you put it” he went back to running his hand through copper hair “I'm fairly neutral on the act itself. If you wanted it, I'd probably enjoy it, but I wouldn't seek it out again without prompting. But the intimacy that can come with it? That I would like to share with you, very much. So I would like to have sex with you, but perhaps not for all the reasons you would” he noticed then that Caleb's eyes had gone wide “…Oh. Is this one of those things you're supposed to wait a while before discussing?”

“I-” Caleb opened and closed his mouth several times, with no sound coming out “I've only ever been in one other serious relationship before, and I was seventeen, so I don't exactly know what's ‘normal’ here. I just-” he dropped eye contact “I'm quite tired. This has been lovely, but I don't know if I could manage much more-”
“Oh! No, not now!” he blushed “I only meant- some time in the future, maybe-”
“Oh. Oh” he grinned sheepishly “Well, then. I'd like that”
“Good. I'd like that, too”

His mind drifted again. There wasn't an accompanying floating sensation this time, so much as the feeling of being wrapped in a warm blanket. Caleb's arms were hardly covering a quarter of him, and yet he felt enveloped in a thick, comfortable weight

He met Caleb's eye. Such pretty eyes. Caleb raised an eyebrow
“Something on your mind, Liebe?”
“No, no, just… you like me” just saying that made him smile
“Very much so” he smiled back
“And I like you” he said “I just… I don't remember ever being in a relationship where those two things were true simultaneously. I'm… yeah. I'm happy. Being here with you makes me happy”
And wasn't that something?
“Being here with you makes me happy too”
“O-Okay. Would you… I mean…” it was strange how, despite everything that had just happened, he still felt nervous asking “I'd like to try being… well, us. Would you?”
Caleb beamed at him “Yes. So much”
Joy burst inside him, far too much for his body to take. He shook his hands back and forth, releasing some of the pressure, and, for once, wasn't embarrassed in the least that someone had seen him do that. He leaned back onto his knees, boxing Caleb's head with his hands
“I want to kiss you again, right now” what a novel sensation that was, wanting physical intimacy “Can I?”
“Please”
So he did

They traded kisses back and forth for a long while. Eventually, Essek's arms started to tire, and so he had to pull back. Caleb attempted to follow, before lying back on the sofa. Essek noticed shadows starting to form under his eyes
“You look exhausted, Caleb” he said “You should rest”
“I… ‘s alright…” he yawned
“No, come on” he said, fond “Listen. Have you had dinner already?”
“…Ja, before you arrived. Why?”
“Perhaps you should go to bed. An early night might do you good”
“Hmm…” he watched him for a while. Then, he smiled and said “Only if you come too”
“I- huh?”
“Not to sleep! I know you don't need it. Just…” he bit his lip “I like having you around. I'd hate to cut our time together short by being tired. Would you perhaps like to stay the night?”
“Oh” he felt his heart flutter “O-Okay. If it will bring you comfort, than yes, I'll stay”

He followed Caleb into the bedroom. An odd feeling curled inside at the sight of the bed, somewhere between nostalgia and déjà vu. Frumpkin was stretched out on the windowsill, batting the cord for the blinds with a paw, watching as it idly swung back and forth
“Hallo, Frumpkin” Caleb said, walking over “I'm afraid you'll need to get down from there, I need to close the blinds”
The creature made some hideous wailing noise as Caleb picked him up and put him on the ground. To his horror, the beast walked right up to him, looking up at him expectantly
“Ah. Hello” Essek said, nervous
They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Frumpkin made a sound a little like ‘hmph!’ and wandered off. He looked up to see Caleb watching him, clearly trying not to laugh
“I take it you didn't have many pets growing up?”
“Ah, not exactly, no”

Caleb pulled his shirt off over his head, discarding it on the floor. Essek's throat closed up
“I… Uh…”
Caleb turned to look at him “Something wrong?”
Ah, yes. He had almost forgotten about his friends’ attitude toward nudity
“You… are going to be wearing something to bed, right?”
Caleb blinked “I- oh. Ja, of course. If that's what you'd prefer”
He laughed lightly “Xas, well. It's a rare enough thing that I share a bed with another for the night. I don't think I've ever been with someone with your… disregard for propriety”
Caleb snorted “That's the polite way of putting it”

Thankfully, he did own pyjamas. He pulled those on, and got into bed with little fanfare. Essek found a book that interested him, and brought it with him to the bed, turning off the lights as he did. It became immediately obvious that this bed was not made for two people. They managed to position themselves in such a way where they weren't falling off, but only just. He was on his side, facing away from Caleb, who was pressed right up against his back, his arms wrapped tight around him. Soon, Caleb's breathing slowed

It was strangely soothing, curled up against him like this. He hoped they could make this a more regular thing. Although hopefully they would go to his apartment the next time - at least he owned a double bed

A simple cantrip had the book he had chosen floating in front of him, turned to the side so he could read it properly. It turned out to be a novel. He could tell very quickly upon starting it that it had been sent his way by Jester. Ah, well. As much as he was loath to admit to anyone but her, he did enjoy all of the books she recommended. He imagined this would be enjoyable, though perhaps not… intellectually stimulating

He didn't register for a long while that the lighting in the room had changed. But as he went to turn the page, he spotted a small glowing orb floating in his peripheral vision. He looked up. There were four in total, slowly orbiting his book. He turned round to see Caleb leaned sideways on his elbow, reading his book over his shoulder. He sighed
“Caleb, come on” he rolled onto his back, putting his fingers into Caleb's hair and pulling down until his head rested against his chest “Have a rest at least”
Caleb laughed softly, submitting to being manhandled
“Oookay. Promise…” he tilted his head to look up at him “I'm not gonna wake up to you gone this time, am I?”
“What are you- Oh” his stomach clenched “I apologise. I thought you'd rather I leave quickly, that night. I didn't want to be a burden”
“Y’rrr not a burden”
“Thank you. No, I promise I'll be here when you wake” he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead “Now sleep, d’anthe”

The dancing lights blinked off, and Caleb lay down atop him. In the other room, the orange creature made another odd noise - something like ‘mrow’. Essek jumped, suddenly alert
“Ah, hang on, just one thing”
Caleb smiled guilelessly up at him, his eyes only half open “Hmm?”
“I… I don't actually know…” he sighed. Ah, fuck it “What kind of animal is your pet?”
Caleb blinked at him for a moment, then, he grinned sleepily
“Frumpkin is a cat, liebling”
“Oh. Okay” he had never heard of those before. Perhaps he could look them up while Caleb rested “Goodnight, Caleb”
“Goodnight, Essek”
With that, Caleb closed his eyes, and went to sleep