Work Text:
“I’ll bet you a hundred quid that I can get into Ryan’s room,” Gavin said as he walked into the kitchen where Michael was sitting.
“Dude, do you have a death wish?” Ray asked from the couch without looking up from his game.
“You’re on, boi. A hundred bucks to get into Ryan’s room and survive,” Michael agreed.
Gavin paused, “Wait, really?”
“Heck yeah man! There is no way you can get into Ryan’s room. God knows what he’s hiding in there. He probably has traps or some shit set up. I’ll give you two weeks,” He added, holding out his hand to Gavin.
“Alright, let’s do this!” Gavin shook Michael’s hand, sealing his fate.
Gavin immediately started scheming. He knew where Ryan’s room was, of course, as they all lived in the same penthouse. He also knew that he couldn’t just waltz in there all willy-nilly, he needed a plan. He would wait until Ryan went out on a job and sneak his way in.
It was just Gavin’s luck that Ryan decided to go on a murder break that very day. No one knew how long one of his murder breaks would last, but as long as it was on that meant he wasn’t going out on any solo jobs. Unless they were all doing a heist, he’d stay home baking or something.
Honestly, he’s so weird… Gavin thought to himself as he tried to figure out a new plan. He couldn’t risk going in there while Ryan was home, but why would Ryan leave if he was on a murder break? Hmm... Aha!
Gavin found Ryan in the living room watching some boring news station.
“Hey Ryan, we, uh, we need groceries!” Gavin blurted out.
Ryan raised an eyebrow. “And?”
“Could you go and get some?” Gavin managed without stuttering.
“Doesn’t Jack usually do the shopping?” Ryan asked flatly.
“She’s busy!” Gavin said a bit too quickly.
“Doing what?” Ryan, of course, noticed Gavin’s jumpiness.
“She’s, uh, she’s, she’s… She’s getting her hair cut!” Gavin said, proud that he could come up with something. “Yeah, it’s been getting too long for her.”
Ryan stared at Gavin suspiciously for a moment, then shrugged it off. “Okay, sure.”
“Thanks Ry!” Gavin said and went back to his room.
After he was sure that Ryan had left, Gavin crept out of his room. He approached Ryan’s door apprehensively. He tested the doorknob; locked. That’s fine, he was expecting that. He knelt down and picked the lock with relative ease. He stood up, took a deep breath, and opened the door.
Gavin blinked. Ryan’s room was… nice? He had expected bodies and blood and torture devices. What he found were plants and bookcases and sunlamps. He forgot completely about why he was there and started to explore.
The room was a pretty standard bedroom. There was a king sized bed against the far wall of the room, with a nightstand next to it. On the nightstand there was a pair of reading glasses, an alarm clock, and a small lamp. There was a desk with Ryan’s computer on it. All around the room were plants; hanging from the ceiling, sitting on any available surface, even on the floor. Bookshelves lined one wall and they were filled with fancy looking books.
“What is bloody going on here? This can’t be Ryan’s room…” Gavin muttered to himself. He inspected a few of the plants. There were daffodils, aloe, primroses, and carnations, to name a few. They were all real, and they weren’t significantly poisonous as far as Gavin knew. Then he approached a bookcase.
“Hamlet, Romeo and Juliet, Othello, Macbeth, King Lear…” Gavin read the titles aloud, “Wait a second, those are all shakespeare!”
Just then Gavin heard the front door open and close. He bolted out of the room, not risking getting caught. He shuddered to think what Ryan would do to him if Ryan found him in there.
He paused to take a deep breath and attempt to calm his nerves before he entered the living room. As it turns out, the sound of the door was just Michael and Ray coming in.
"RYAN'S A BARDOLATER!" Gavin squeaked as he vaulted over the couch.
"He's a what now?" Ray questioned.
"Use your words man!" Michael commanded.
"I was... And he... Plants! Shakespeare..." Gavin panted, still out of breath from his 2 meter dash.
"Breathe Gavin, holy crap. You wanna try that again?" Michael suggested.
"PLANTS, MICHAEL. The guy's got bloody flowers growing in his room! And he's got, like, EVERYTHING Shakespeare's ever written! It was horrifying!" Gavin waved his arms frantically as he spoke. "I'm telling you, Michael, Ryan's-"
"I'm what?" Ryan's voice growled from the doorway.
"!!!" A strangled sound ripped it's way from Gavin's throat.
Just then, Ray jumped on Ryan's back. "I'll distract him, run Vav! Run for your life!"
"Thanks X-Ray!" Gavin squeaked as he headed toward the window.
"Run, Gavin, Run!" Michael laughed as he flung himself on top of Ray and Ryan.