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Alex looked down into her backpack and sighed. No keys. Again. Her roommate was going to be convicted of homicide at this rate, and Alex wouldn’t fair much better. She reached around in her bag one last time, just on the off chance that they were buried under the debris at the bottom, but it was a lost cause. She distinctly remembered placing them on her desk before heading to class earlier that day. Stupid.
Just as she had pulled out her phone to call Jessica down to the front door, soft music drifted into her awareness from somewhere to the right. She felt herself slowly freeze as she was pulled into the tune, a slow, pretty thing that stirred up memories deep in her mind that simply couldn’t swim up to the surface no matter how hard they tried, like time had coated them in heavy molasses. Before she even noticed, she started walking away from the front door, drifting towards the shadows, towards that music.
As she continued around the corner of the building the volume increased and the melody became clearer, though those memories stubbornly remained out of reach. The only open window was the second around the corner. Its light spilled across the ground in a slanting rectangle, illuminating a small patch of flowers growing a few feet away like a spotlight. The flowers were so dark Alex at first couldn’t tell what color they were supposed to be. Red, she decided. Alex reverted her attention to the sounds from within the window, creeping forwards and leaning her elbows against the sill. From this vantage point her nose was less than an inch from the screen separating her and the blonde girl sitting on her bed, plucking at a guitar. The tune was simple, repetitive, hypnotic…and so familiar.
The girl seemed to be singing quietly under her breath. Alex couldn’t make out the words, and by this point she was practically pressed against the screen. The song was a round, four lines repeated over and over and over. The girl was probably trying to learn it for the first time, or maybe she just found it soothing. Alex did.
After a few minutes the girl finally straightened up and flexed her hands.
“Bravo.”
Claire would deny the scream that left her lips until her dying day. As they laid her in the ground her tombstone would read, “Totally didn’t scream when that random girl showed up at my window in the middle of the night. Fuck you, Alex.”
In reaction to this nonexistent scream, Alex doubled over in laughter and Claire grumpily (but gently) placed her guitar back in its case before sliding it under her bed. She spun around and marched over to the window, angrily demanding “What the fuck are you doing creeping around in the middle of the night?! Who does that? Who are you?”
Alex’s laughter died down at this and responded, “I left my keys in my dorm room, Blondie. What’s your excuse for playing music at two in the morning? I could have sworn there was a rule against that kinda stuff.”
“Well, I was being quiet for a reason. Thanks to you someone probably thinks I’m getting murdered.”
“I promise not to murder you if you let me into the building.”
Claire rolled her eyes. “Get lost, wierdo.” She reached to close the window, but Alex’s hand slammed against the screen, stopping her with its suddenness.
“Wait! Please? I really don’t want to make my roommate come all the way down here. And you’re already awake. Is it that much of an inconvenience?”
Claire looked at the girl, really looked at her for the first time. The screen in front of her cast shadows across her face, but the light from inside the room highlighted her square jaw, dark brown hair, and her pale blue eyes that suddenly looked all too sincere. Claire sighed and opened her mouth to answer her when three sharp knocks at her door interrupted her.
She groaned, then turned to the girl outside and, in a whisper told her to move out of sight. Alex did as was requested, sliding to the left and barely turning to peek into the room. When the blonde girl opened the door Alex almost snickered at the sight of their distressed RA standing with her hair in a messy bun, wearing light blue matching pajamas that contrasted with her dark skin and even darker, now frantic eyes.
“Claire, oh my God, what happened? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?”
“Dara, I’m fine. I’m sorry about the screaming, there was…a spider…”
Dara frowned. “A spider? That’s it?”
Alex could practically feel the embarrassment radiating off of the girl. Claire. “Yeah but I killed it so we’re all good now thank you Dara and goodnight.”
Dara’s hand shot out to catch the door Claire started to shut, before she went on to say, “Why aren’t you asleep yet anyway? Were you drinking too much coffee again? I told you that caffeine can mess up your sleep schedule. And – oh is your window open? You’re gonna catch a cold –“
Alex pulled back at the mention of the window but still heard every word of Dara’s mother-henning, a phenomenon no one in their building was safe from. She allowed herself to extend a bit of pity to Claire.
“- I don’t understand why you don’t let me take care of you, honey – “
“Dara, this is real sweet and all, but one of the reasons I went to college out of state was to get away from my foster mom, not to find a replacement. Thank you, and good night.”
Dara still didn’t seem happy to go but she let the door close this time nonetheless. Claire sighed in relief. When she’d been assigned one of the only single dorm rooms in the building she hadn’t anticipated this many annoyances in the middle of the night. Now all she had to deal with was the window girl. Who, she noted when she turned around, was now standing front and center again with her palms pressed against the screen. Claire was starkly reminded of just how striking this girls eyes were. Or maybe she just seemed sadder for some reason.
“You can keep staring if you want but it is a bit chilly out here…”
Claire blushed, a soft pink staining her round cheeks as Alex fought back a smile. “You’d think for someone who wants a favor from me you’d be a little less irritating.”
Alex rolled her eyes but acquiesced. “Fine. I’m sorry for teasing you. Please let me in.”
Claire deliberated for a few moments, holding eye-contact with Alex but soon turned around and walked over to the door. Alex felt a surge of triumph at winning over such a seemingly stubborn girl, and couldn’t help but retort, “At least I’ll let you take care of me, Claire.”
Claire froze with her hand on the doorknob, and for a split second Alex was sure she’d blown it. Now she would have to find another way inside and Claire would never talk to her again. Claire jerked the door open, stormed outside, and shut it behind her, and Alex was left to face the silence she’d left behind.
“Claire…I was just joking…come on, I didn’t mean anything by it…Claire! You’ve gotta be kidding me.” That last line was directed more towards the general universe than towards Claire. If she could have just kept her goddamn mouth shut –
“You can stand there all night shouting into my window if you really want but I think people would start avoiding you.”
Alex spun towards the voice to her right where Claire was standing with a pair of keys in hand, her eyes much darker with only the moon to brighten them, and much more amused than they’d been earlier. “Ah so she finally takes the offense. I’m proud, blondie.”
Claire turned and started walking back toward the front entrance, so Alex jogged to catch up. She contemplated slinging an arm around her shoulders but decided not to push it. Once inside, Alex took off for the elevator, throwing a quick, “I owe you one, Claire,” over her shoulder.
“What could you possibly do for me?”
The elevator doors opened and Alex stepped inside. She smiled at Claire. “If you ever find another spider in your room, I got your back.”
Claire looked like she wanted to say something in response, most likely a half-hearted insult, but when the doors started to close Alex’s hand snapped out to catch it, and before she’d even thought it through she found herself saying, “What was that song? The one you were singing earlier.”
Claire blinked in surprise, but answered, “I don’t know, actually. My mom used to sing it for me. A long time ago. It’s just a lullaby I guess.”
Claire watched as a glazed look came over the girl’s eyes for a moment before she stepped back and let the doors close between them. She stared at the spot the other girl’s face had occupied for several moments, hypnotized for some reason, then snapped out of it and turned back to walk down the hallway. It wasn’t until she was back in her room that she realized she’d never even gotten the girl’s name.
If Claire had expected her life to go back to the way it was before meeting Window Girl, she had severely underestimated how easy it apparently was to forget a pair of keys. At first it was every few nights, three or four times a week and mostly on weekends, but soon it was every night. Every. Night. On the second night Claire demanded, “If you’re gonna treat me like your own personal bellhop I should know your name.” That had earned her a long laugh, which surprisingly included crinkly eyes and a thrown back head followed by a huffed out, “Alex.”
Most nights Alex would introduce herself with a question.
“So how’d you manage to nab a single room on the first floor?”
“How long have you been playing guitar? You seem pretty good.”
“Did you hear that some kid died in the basements here, like 20 years ago?”
“Why don’t you have anything on your walls? Posters and pictures not good enough for you, Claire?”
Some nights she didn’t say anything. She would introduce herself by clearing her throat and give Claire a tight smile before walking away to wait at the entrance. Those nights Claire would pretend not so see the dark circles under her eyes, or the bruises that would show up on her jaw, or her red rimmed eyes that may or may not have been from crying. Those night Claire didn’t sleep much.
Some nights Alex didn’t show for hours, and Claire would pretend she hadn’t been worried. Still she preferred those nights to those in which Alex didn’t bother to show up at all. Those nights Claire would swing back and forth between worrying that Alex was hurt, and worrying that she’d simply found something better to do, decided Claire wasn’t interesting enough anymore. Those nights Claire simply didn’t sleep.
It took a while, actually, for Claire to admit that she liked Alex. She’d grown fond of her dry humor and her pale eyes and her smooth voice pretty quickly, but acknowledging that her midnight nuisance had turned into a comfortable presence in her life took longer for some reason.
But soon came the night when Alex limped up to the window, a cocky smirk plastered on her face, and rapped her knuckles against the frame to call Claire’s attention. Claire was already watching the window of course, and couldn’t help but notice the streaks of red across her hand and the bruise forming at the corner of her eye. Before Claire could even say anything Alex had swept away, and Claire followed suit, intending to find her waiting outside the front doors.
Instead Alex was propped against the inside of the doors, one arm thrown across her midsection and the other twirling a set of keys by her head. Claire froze and watched as another smirk spread across Alex’s face at Claire’s dumbfounded expression.
“What? I’m responsible sometimes.”
“If you had your keys why did you bother coming to my window?”
Alex snorted, pushing off from the door and limping past Claire towards the elevator. “Was I supposed to not brag about this?” She hastily pressed the button for the elevator. “And besides, make you go all night without seeing my face? Couldn’t leave you waiting for me on the balcony, Juliet.”
Claire grabbed Alex’s elbow, pulling her to a stop and looking her over. Alex’s bloody hands, the leg she seemed to be limping on, and her eyes lingered longest on Alex’s face. She opened her mouth to say something, whether it was a sarcastic retort to her previous statement or something else Alex wasn’t sure, but she ended up snapping her mouth shut and pulling Alex down the hall towards her room instead.
Once inside, Alex took a second to look around. Everything was the same as she was used to, but slightly off from this perspective, like getting to go backstage for the first time after watching the same play 10 times in a row. She could hear Claire digging around her closet and hauled herself onto the bed to wait. The comforter was a bright red that only made the blood on her hands seem darker. A few seconds later, Claire emerged holding what looked like a fairly large first aid kit and placed it on the bed next to Alex, popping the lid off and pulling out a few things that Alex catalogued out of the corner of her eye.
The first thing Claire reached for were the antiseptic wipes to clean the wounds on her knuckles. Alex watched her move, efficient and meticulous, like she’d done this a thousand times. “Don’t tell me…your mom was a nurse?”
Claire snorted. “Nope. I used to help out at the orphanage when the younger kids got banged up. S’hard to control that many kids at once, you know? Had to be prepared.” She didn’t look up at Alex, just continued to wipe away the caked on blood and dirt.
“How’d you lose them?”
Claire’s rubbing slowed to a stop, and she finally met Alex’s eyes. “Dad died, mom left. Same-old, same-old.” She continued rubbing, this time a bit more forcefully though Alex didn’t dare complain.
“I never knew my parents. Not my birth parents anyway. They died when I was pretty young. I had a mom growing up but…she wasn’t exactly fit to raise me.” At this point Claire had stopped moving again but remained staring down at their hands. “Now I have Jody and Donna though.”
“How are they?” Claire asked quietly, her hands no longer cleaning but instead simply curled around Alex’s.
Alex wasn’t sure how she felt about this topic of conversation but so far Claire hadn’t asked how she’d gotten so beat up that night so she decided to let it slide. Her friends really weren’t dangerous, not like her moms would immediately assume. They just got into trouble sometimes. “They’re cool. Sometimes I wish they weren’t so protective, but most of the time it’s pretty nice. They are cops after all, so it’s not like I was expecting otherwise.”
“Yikes. Cops for moms, huh?” Alex smiled down at Claire as she peeked up through her lashes. They stared at each other for a moment before each of them came to awareness and looked away. Alex cleared her throat and then waved her hand in front of Claire’s eyes for her to continue cleaning.
Claire went back to cleaning and neither said anything for a while. Alex shifted to take some of the weight off of her bad knee and soon both were lost in the silence, in the rhythm of Claire’s hands as they stripped crimson from Alex’s skin.
To Alex’s surprise, Claire started to hum. It was that same song again, the slow, soft one from the first night they met. Alex didn’t move, didn’t breath for fear of breaking the spell Claire had suddenly cast over the room. Up close it was easier to pick out the words when she started to sing under her breath.
Rose, rose, rose red
The memories in the back of Alex’s mind stirred once again, fighting to rise to the surface of her consciousness. Claire’s voice continued on heedless of the struggle in Alex’s mind. Her voice was sweet but gravely and it sent shivers down Alex’s spine.
Will I ever see thee wed?
Memories started to flash through her mind. The smell of old perfume and cinnamon. Granite countertops that stood over her head. Pale blue curtains with yellow flowers. A soft song being sung while a hand stroked her hair. She felt overwhelmed by their intensity, as if this was the first time she was able to take a full breath of air after a lifetime of half-breaths.
I will marry at thy will sire,
A blonde girl with bright blue eyes and a hesitant smile. That one wasn’t a memory though. She was standing in front of Alex, her eyes tracking her own gentle movements, lost in whatever train of thought had taken her away for the moment.
At thy will sire, at thy will.
When Claire had finally cleaned and then bandaged every broken inch of skin, she held onto Alex’s hand for a little longer and looked it over before letting it fall into her lap. Claire looked up into Alex’s eyes and frowned. She placed the tips of her fingers gently over the bruise at the corner of her eye and sighed.
“The skin didn’t break so there’s nothing I can do for this right now.”
Alex reached up and curled her own hand around Claire’s palm. It was soft compared to her calloused fingertips. “I think I’ll survive. Thanks.”
Claire swallowed. Her eyes flicked between their joined hands and the other girl’s eyes, her lips slightly parted. Suddenly she jerked away as if she’d been burned, turning and walking to over her desk. Alex leaned back a little, releasing a breath she didn’t know how long she’d been holding. She didn’t watch Claire, choosing instead to stare down at her lap, but she did here her opening and closing a drawer, another drawer, the sound of rustling papers, then a pause before Claire’s hand was thrust in front of her eyes.
She looked up in confusion, not sure how to react. Claire looked at her expectantly before realizing that Alex hadn’t quite caught on to what she wanted to happen here. She rolled her eyes and reached for Alex’s keys. Alex watched as she slipped something onto the key ring, inspecting it one final time and dangling it in front of Alex’s face once again. There, Alex noticed, nestled just between her room key and her mail key was a metal keychain curved in the shape of a flower, its petals a vibrant scarlet and its center a deep maroon with thin silver outline. Alex held the flower against her palm, too small and too big all at once.
When she looked back up, Claire was smiling but it was a barely there thing that didn’t quite reach her eyes, like she couldn’t tell if Alex liked the gift and was starting to doubt herself.
“It’s…like a gift for…congrats you know? On finally remembering your keys…although I guess you’ve remembered them before but you’ve been pretty bad about it lately-”
Suddenly Claire was certain that this was a stupid idea. Alex probably didn’t even like flowers and why would she want a dumb keychain Claire had picked up on vacation last summer? She definitely should have thought this through, but she had just been acting on impulse.
Alex stared at Claire. And stared. And stared. And stared. Claire swallowed, felt her hand twitch to take back the flower, just before she noticed the beginnings of a smile on Alex’s face. First it was a softening of her eyes, followed by the slow upturn of the corner of her mouth. Then there were hands on either side of Claire’s face and Alex’s lips pressed against hers. For a moment she didn’t react, just stood there letting Alex kiss her. But then, like a dam crashing down around her she felt herself being swept away by the current out to sea, right into the girl with the sad, blue eyes and soft lips.
They stood there for a few moments losing themselves in one another, until Alex pulled away, sliding her hands from where they were still resting on Claire’s face around and down her back, pulling Claire closer and resting her head on the bend of Claire’s neck. A few seconds passed where neither said anything, the only sound in the room being the low thrum of the heater over their heads and the pounding of their hearts against their ribs. Claire wrapped her arms around Alex waist and leaned against her knees, a position that lasted about seven seconds before Alex cleared her throat and said, “Um, Claire…that’s my bad leg.”
Claire pulled back immediately stuttering out a quick, “I’m so sorry,” and insisting that Alex lay back and rest her legs on the bed.
“You know I’ll have to walk back to my room eventually, right?”
Claire thought for a minute, then smirked. “Or you could spend the night. If you wanted.”
Alex looked at her in surprise then let out an amused laugh. “Are you flirting with me, Blondie?”
“You just kissed me, I think I’ve earned the right.”
That was the first night in weeks that Alex had remembered her keys and she didn’t even get to use them. Unless of course, one considers sleeping with the keys and their newest addition grasped tightly in her hands and Claire’s arms draped across her side one of the uses of a set of keys. In that case, Alex definitely used her keys that night.
They woke several hours later to late morning sunlight streaming in through the window, and three distinct knocks against the door. Their eyes flew open and they jumped out of bed, Claire rushing to look through the peephole and Alex wincing as she came down hard on her knee. Apparently she wouldn’t be doing much running today.
Claire snorted, then turned to Alex and whispered “Dara” with the shake of her head. She reached to unlock the door when Alex whispered, “Wait!”
“What’s the problem?”
“If she sees me like this I’m never gonna hear the end of it,” she said gesturing to her bruised face.
Claire sighed. “Fine, then hide in the closet.”
Alex looked at the closet door, then back to Claire, then back to the closet door, then once more at Claire. “Is that supposed to be a joke?”
“Oh my god –“ Three more knocks followed by Dara calling Claire’s name interrupted whatever she had planned on saying. Claire thought for a second, then walked to the window. She slid it open and pushed on one corner of the screen until it popped out of place. She gestured for Alex to climb outside.
Alex blinked. “Are you telling me you could have done that the whole time?”
“Yeah, bu I didn’t want you getting lazy. Now go outside.”
As Alex started climbing over the window sill Dara knocked on the door another time and Claire called out, “Just a second, Dara! I’m – getting dressed.”
Alex snorted, making sure to land outside on her good leg. Claire moved to replace the screen but Alex pushed it aside, leaning forward to peck Claire once on the lips. They grinned at each other for just a second and then Claire was pushing Alex’s face back out through the window and clicking the screen back into place between them.
“Asshole,” Alex whispered.
Claire smiled again and turned to answer the door while Alex spun around stepped out of view of the window. She heard the beginnings of Claire’s conversation with Dara, which seemed to be one of her usual overbearing check-ups, and found her eyes drawn to the same patch of flowers a few feet from the side of the building. She’d noticed them growing each day since the first night she’d seen them, but here in the morning sun their color was no longer the deep red that nearly blended into the ground around them. No, now they were a bright red, a pop of color in the mellow green, a cluster of art that someone must have left there solely for her to find.
She thought of the red flower attached to her keyring, her stomach filling with warmth at the memory and a smile stretching across her face. A smile that stayed with her as she walked away and carried on with the rest of her day. A smile that didn’t falter once. That is until she realized she’d left those keys in Claire’s dorm room.