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“Babe!” Deuce called out as he walked into his apartment, shutting the door with his foot. “I got this weird envelope in my mailbox, I think it’s from your brother?”
“If it’s from Sabo, don’t open it, he’s probably trying to slander me, if it’s from Luffy, fuck if I know, I hope he hasn’t found anthrax.” Ace replied from his spot sitting upside down on the couch, phone in hand, likely engrossed in another one of the ‘cutting things with a 1000 degree knife’ videos that he said he didn’t like.
“Don’t say shit like that!” Deuce rolled his eyes and dropped his bag next to the couch, flopping onto the couch. He accidentally disturbed Ace’s position, and he yelped as he dropped his phone on his face, slumping forwards until his head hit the floor.
“Ow…” Ace looked up at his boyfriend with big puppy dog eyes. “K-”
“Do not say kiss it better, I will kick you out of my apartment.” Deuce tried to hide his smile as Ace pouted and pulled himself back up to sit on the couch normally.
“It looks like Luffy’s handiwork.” Deuce held out the envelope so he could truly examine the thing in front of him. It was a homemade envelope, half made out of glittery dark blue paper that looked too much like the shade of his hair dye to be an accident, and half out of a nice piece of pastel blue card. His name was plastered on the front in newspaper cuttings of letters, and the back had ‘Open Me’ in pasted on in a similar fashion.
“So that’s why he wanted to know what dye you used!” Ace clicked his tongue. “Getting paper the same colour as my boyfriend’s hair. Average Luffy hijinks.”
“Do you know what it might be for?” Deuce asked as he started to attempt to open the envelope, which appeared to be superglued together.
“Maybe? And don’t open it like that, tear it at the bottom. That’s how Luffy opens all his mail.” He tapped a finger against the bottom of the envelope.
“Thanks.” He sighed, and opened it carefully, catching the piece of paper that came out of it before it could get blown away by the small fan that stood beside the couch.
“You are cordially invited to Luffy’s 18th Birthday Party Bash Extravaganza, with a little smiley face and at least twenty exclamation points.” Deuce read out loud. “May 5th, at dad’s house, the one near the forest, show up whenever.”
Ace’s face dropped, and Deuce raised an eyebrow.
“What is it? Is this someone impersonating Luffy trying to kill me or something?” He joked.
“No, definitely not. You’d probably know if it was someone impersonating him. It’s just that he’s having the party at dad’s- well, his dad, my sorta dad’s place near the forest. It means that he’s inviting everyone .”
“Like, his friends and your siblings?” Deuce frowned. “I’ve met Sabo, and a couple of your other siblings, and some of his friends, I’m sure it’ll be fine babe.”
“No, Deu, you don’t understand.” Ace flopped onto his back. “He’s. Inviting. Everyone. ”
“Like, extended family?”
“You could say that.” Ace’s voice was strained, and he sat up quickly. “Listen. There are some things about my family, and Luffy’s friends, and everything that I’ve kind of not told you about.”
“Ace, what is this?” Deuce narrowed his eyes, not enjoying how serious Ace was getting. They’d been dating for close to a year now, ever since Ace had saved him from his old apartment building burning down, and they’d kept in contact. It was the best relationship Deuce had ever been in, and he was able to handle some of Ace’s family’s eccentricities, like how his dad was Edward Newgate, a practical saint, and how his two brothers he lived with were a bit quirky, and how the rest of his siblings were just kind of scattered throughout the city.
“Okay.” Ace took a deep breath in and breathed out slowly, preemptively wincing. “So, ourfamilyiskindainvolvedinorganisedcrimeandmydadisntactuallypopsandluffysdadsareactuallylikereallyreallyimportantandiknowyouthoughtpopswasallofourdadandhekindofisbutnotreallyand-”
“Whoa, whoa, slow down babe.” Deuce took Ace’s hand in his, gently rubbing circles onto the back of his hand. “I didn’t get any of that.”
“I’m sorry.” He flopped forwards into Deuce’s lap, groaning. “So, my family situation is… kind of complicated. And there’s going to be a lot of people at this party, that you might recognise from people you’ve already met, and some people that you might recognise for… other reasons.”
“Is your family famous or something?” Deuce ran a hand through his boyfriend’s wavy black hair.
“You could say that?” He sighed again, and leaned into Deuce’s touch. “I’m just really worried that they’ll be weird, or some of Luffy’s friends might scare you, and you’ll think I’m a weirdo, and break up with me.”
“If I thought you were a weirdo and wanted to break up with you, I would have done it when you accidentally made me a painting that consisted of the broken bits of spaghetti you and Luffy found while you were high.” Deuce smiled, and leaned down to gently kiss Ace’s forehead. “I don’t think meeting even more of your family and Luffy’s friends will scare me off.”
“Okay… but if you ever want to leave, just let me know, okay?” Ace curled up around Deuce’s body, cuddling into him. “But you’re stuck here for now. I’m getting in my hugs after you so cruelly abandoned me to go pursue a further education.”
“Alright, you win.” Deuce let his upper body fall over on top of Ace. “But that means we don’t get to enjoy the lovely apple danishes that Thatch gave me on my walk home.”
“You bastard.” Ace scowled, and tried to wriggle his way out of the boyfriend cage he’d been trapped in.
“I learned from the best.” He laughed, and squeezed his boyfriend lightly. He was sure that the party wouldn’t be anything too crazy. If family would be there, surely it wouldn’t get too insane, right?
xXx
Deuce was wrong. Standing in front of the looming mansion, because that was what it was, an actual fucking mansion, he could already hear the general sounds of a party from here. There had even been security at the gate to get in, even though Ace laughed and hugged the imposing man with a buzz cut that reluctantly gave him a fist bump.
He clutched the carefully wrapped present to his chest as Ace led him around the side of the mansion, into what could only be described as a fucking football field sized yard where the party was happening.
And holy shit. There were so many people. Ace was not kidding.
He could at least recognise some of them, like Thatch, who gave him a friendly wave from where he was standing at a barbeque, and Zoro, one of Luffy’s friends, currently doing what seemed to be a staring match to the death with a very scary looking gothic man and-
“Oh holy fuck, that’s Dracule Mihawk.” Deuce clutched onto Ace’s arm dangerously tight. “Ace. Ace. That’s the fucking fashion model and kendo, swordfighting and figureskating champion Dracule Mihawk.”
“Yeah, he’s Zoro’s kind of dad? Mentor? Enemy?” He shrugged awkwardly. “I did say that the family gets a bit-”
Deuce’s grip tightened on Ace’s arm as a tall man wearing a kind of cloak walked past them, not making a noise.
“Oh, hey Dragon-dad.” Ace waved with his free hand. The man turned slightly, just enough so that Deuce could see the tattoo on his face, and his dark eyes, eyes that he had just seen in the newspaper.
“Ace. You made it. And you brought your boyfriend.” He nodded, and continued walking.
“What- was that-” Deuce stuttered.
“Don’t worry, he likes you. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have acknowledged you.” Ace tried to pry Deuce’s fingers off of his arm, but was unsuccessful.
“But-”
“Ace!! Deuce!” Luffy bounded towards them, wearing at least three party hats, and covered in paint. “You made it!”
“Like I’d miss my little brother’s 18th birthday party!” Ace laughed, pulling him into a one armed hug.
“I’m so happy you decided to come along Deuce!” Luffy grinned, hugging him as well. “Ace said you don’t do too well with big social things, so there’s a couple of quiet rooms inside, I know Robin and Cora are in there having some tea if you wanted to go in!”
Deuce’s head was spinning, so when he opened his mouth and said he was fine to stay out, he wondered whether it was just morbid curiosity or something about Ace’s friends and family were rubbing off on him.
“Cool!” Luffy squeezed him lightly and then stepped back, noticing the present that was mildly squished now. “Aww, you got me something?”
“Yeah, uh, I made it myself.” Deuce passed the present over, and kept a still face on as Luffy decimated the wrapping paper to reveal the medium sized meat on a bone shaped plush toy.
“This is the best thing I’ve ever gotten in my whole life.” Luffy declared, and tucked it into the front of his shirt. “I’m going to go up to my room here, and put it there, so it’ll be safe! I’ll see you guys in a bit- Sabo’s over near the drinks if you wanted to go say hi!” He smiled again, and began sprinting towards the back doors.
The second Luffy had left the party area and was out of sight, something changed. Multiple people stopped smiling, and he saw at least five people pull out actual guns.
“Ohhhhhhh what the fuck.” Deuce hissed as a ridiculously tall man wearing a bright pink party hat with a somehow menacing mask and scarf combo mimed cutting a neck at another guy with bright red hair and a prosthetic arm, who bared his teeth and looked like he was actually fucking growling back. The man next to the red-head had somehow gotten SCYTHES out, and was twirling them boredly.
He managed to spot Marco, because it was honestly hard to not spot that hairstyle in a crowd, who looked like he was squaring up for a fight with two men who were wearing matching bracelets and wearing an orca shaped hat, and a hat with a penguin on it respectively. Both men had knives.
A fist fight had broken out near the food table, and there was a clown nervously twirling his long blue hair and yelling something as he hid behind it. A blonde, who Deuce vaugely recognised as one of Luffy’s close friends, Sanji, did a fucking cartwheel jumping kick that looked like it came out of a martial arts movie, and hit both of the fighters in the head.
And Luffy ran back out, and it was like the switch had been flicked back to normal. Deuce couldn’t see any weapons on anyone anymore, and people who had been at each others throats only seconds before were either talking cordially, or smiling cheerfully like they’d never even been about to fight.
“What the fuck .” Deuce turned Ace to face him. “What the fucking fuck .”
“So, most of the people here are in organised crime?” Ace did awkward jazz hands. “That does technically include all our family. Who are in opposing gangs. And some people here are technically terrorists.”
“Those domestic terrorism charges against me were dropped.” Sabo appeared next to them, and it took all of Deuce’s self control not to scream. “Hey Deuce. I’m assuming Ace didn’t have the talk with you?” He smiled knowingly, and passed him a cup of some kind of soft drink. “Passionfruit soda.”
“He told me that your family situation is complicated in terms of your parents, and that some of Luffy’s friends are weird, not that you’re all criminals!” Deuce hissed, and took the cup, taking a small sip, which did little to calm his nerves. “Thank you, and what the fuck do you mean the domestic terrorism charges?”
“I’m not at liability to say.” Sabo smiled serenely, and hooked his arms around Deuce and Ace’s and began walking them to a quieter corner of the yard.
When Sabo stopped, he put a hand on Deuce’s shoulder, both his eyes burning into his own.
“Now, you cannot tell anyone about this. You’re lucky because you don’t have many friends outside of Ace’s own, or the Whitebeards, and they’re all safe. What our families, and the majority of Luffy’s friends get up to is illegal. Many people here want to kill each other. Many people here want to kill Ace’s Pops or Luffy’s dad’s. This is a neutral zone. If any of them hurt you, let me know, and they will be taken care of.” Sabo’s voice was dark, and Deuce suddenly had a very good idea of what was happening on those business trips he was always on. “Ace should have done this properly, before you came here, but he’s terrible with this. I am a part of the Revolutionary Army, Dragon is my boss, technically also mine and Ace’s adoptive father, and Luffy’s biological father. Ace is a Whitebeard, and so are many of the people here. You’ve met them as Edward Newgate’s kids, and they technically are. We operate on similar playing fields. But there are crime family members here, gang members and dangerous individuals. If you want any information on the people here, just ask me.”
Deuce felt like he was going to pass out a bit.
Sabo’s hand left his shoulder, and he returned to the usual happy Sabo that Deuce knew.
“Okay, I’m gonna go get Iva and Inazuma from the front, they’ll probably be doin a show with Bon Chan later.” He nodded at Ace.
“Oh fuck yeah, Bon Chan’s here?” Ace smiled, and Sabo’s gaze hardened, and he flicked his eyes back to Deuce. “Ah, yup.”
“So… I completely understand if you want to break up with me and move away and never see me again.” Ace winced a little, and risked a glance at Deuce’s face.
“All I really want to do is have a nap right now.” Deuce sighed, closing the distance between them so he could lay his head on Ace’s shoulder. “This is all fucking insane, and I wish you had told me that ‘hey, my family is actually a crime family’ a little earlier, but as long as the stuff that your family is doing isn’t like, fucked up, like human trafficking-”
“Oh god no, none of our family does that shit. Dad- Dragon-dad, literally is the Revolutionary Army, they work against that shit. And a terrorist. Technically.” Ace hugged Deuce tightly.
“Okay…” Deuce closed his eyes. “And, the Whitebeards?”
“We’re similar to the RA. Technically a gang because the government doesn’t fuck with what we do, but it’s all for good reasons.” Deuce could feel Ace sigh as well, it ruffled his hair slightly.
“Alright.” He drew back from the hug, and looked Ace in the eyes. “But we are having a big talk when we get home, okay?”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Ace smiled. “I’m just so happy you aren’t breaking up with me because of this.”
“Still on thin ice.” Deuce narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend, but kissed him on the cheek nonetheless. “Now, introduce me to some of Luffy’s friends?”
“Of course.” Ace grinned and pecked him on the lips gently.
They started walking, with Ace pointing out people to not talk to, and some of Luffy’s friends that he had seen or met before.
They were intercepted by Sanji, who had a plate of hors d'oeuvres, and was more than happy to engage in small talk.
“You’d think Luffy would stop inviting the clown and his circus, but no, he just thinks they’re hilarious.” Sanji sighed heavily, before taking a long drag from his cigarette.
Deuce was about to ask if the barbeque had any vegetarian options, but his eye was drawn to the edge of the yard, where a tall stone wall stood. Just on top of it, he could see vibrant pink feathers, and then a hand. He frowned. Another hand joined it, and there was now half a man in a very very bright pink feather coat over the wall.
“Uh, is that, meant to be happening?” Deuce pointed at the wall, and both Ace and Sanji let out a loud groan.
“Fuck, it’s one of Dad’s exes- Luffy’s dad, not the terrorist.” Ace clarified. “God he does this every year. Is Law inside right now or-”
“DIE YOU FUCKER!” There were sounds of people moving out of the way, and Sanji huffed.
“You know the answer.” He rolled his eyes, and stepped smoothly to the side just as a tan man wearing a dark trench coat ran past them and-
“Is that guy running around with a sword?” Deuce stared as the man continued running and yelling something about revenge, death, and hatred.
“Ōdachi” Ace and Sanji corrected in unison.
“Oh.”
The man had reached the wall now, and was likely yelling something about the man in pink dying a slow, painful death.
“Can someone get Cora?” Someone yelled from the crowd, and a murmur of agreement spread out.
Suddenly, another extremely tall man (was it a requirement to be above average height to be a part of a crime family or something?) came stumbling out of the back door.
“Law!” The man, presumably the aforementioned Cora, yelled out. “Put Kikoku down, don’t try and kill him again!”
“Again?” Deuce whispered.
“This happens every time Law spots him, don’t worry.” Sanji blew out a cloud of smoke. “I’m sure Bon Chan and Daz are on Doffy duty right now.”
It looked like the pink feather coat man had gotten on top of the wall, and was probably yelling something back at Law, who was likely continuing his ‘death, hatred, revenge’ diatribe.
“Law D. Water Trafalgar!” Cora nearly fell over as he passed their small group, and Sanji helpfully stopped him from falling over by putting his leg out, meaning he only half fell over. “Thank you Sanji. Law! Stop threatening to kill my brother!”
“Trafalgar- Ace.” Deuce stared at Ace, who started sweating. “Is this the Doctor Trafalgar who you asked to help me with getting a placement in his department”
“He might be.” Ace smiled awkwardly.
Sanji sighed heavily, and pat Deuce on the shoulder comfortingly.
“Have fun with that one.” The blonde rolled his eyes. “See you guys later.”
Deuce narrowed his eyes again, and Ace laughed nervously.
“Uh, I love you?”
“You fucking better.” Deuce sighed, and lightly slapped Ace’s arm, before holding his hand. “Now take me into those quiet rooms, I need some of that tea Luffy mentioned earlier.”
“Of course babe!” Ace kissed his cheek, and started walking him inside. He’d just spotted a certain Red-Haired crime boss walk in, and was VERY glad Deuce had made the suggestion to go inside first. No need for Deuce to maybe see a death.