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The boy is the only one who isn’t scared of her. With the adults in camp, Sadie is gruff and brief, not that many of them bother making conversation in the first place. She spends most mornings cradling a tin mug of coffee and glaring over the cliff, and that energy is enough for them all to give her a wide berth. That is, until little Jack comes up to her with a garland of flowers woven together and silently hands it to her.
Lord, let this boy stay soft.
“Good mornin, Jack” Sadie husks out, “that’s a mighty pretty necklace you’ve made. Are you sure you don’t want to save it for your momma?”
“I made it special for you, Mrs. Adler! Momma’s is red flowers because her hair is dark but these blue ones I thought would go nicer with your hair!”
“Well, thank you very much.” For the first time since Jake’s death, Sadie feels the corners of her mouth lift. Jack gives her two beaming smiles of his own, first when she puts the garland on and again that night when he notices her still wearing it at dinner. Abigail turns to Sadie after he runs off to help Arthur brush the horses.
“Thank you for wearin’ that little necklace, Jack is so proud of it,” she chuckles fondly.
Sadie isn’t lying when she says that it’s beautiful. “Almost makes me feel beautiful, too.”
Abigail smiles gently back at her. “I hope you know that we’re real glad to have you here, Mrs. Adler.”
Sadie’s wounds aren’t healed enough for her to return the sentiment yet. But she thinks for the first time that maybe she could stay here for a while.
——-
It’s hard to tell how old the kid is. Just looking at him, she’d guess four years, but he sure is smart as a whip if so. He’s already reading and writing better than most of the adults in the camp, and his arithmetic is nothing to slouch at either, if his domino playing skills are any indication.
Sadie don’t have to feign any lack of skill to lose; Jack beats her fair and square. He cheers and runs off to tell his mother, who sends another twinkle-eyed smile in Sadie’s direction upon learning this news. Sadie doesn’t humor Jack just because he is a child. She likes him, genuinely. He’s just about the only one who speaks to her as if she were a normal person, although his mother is starting to make gains in that regard.
Abigail sidles up to her later as she’s washing the pans from dinner. “How’s about a game of dominoes? I taught Jack everything he knows.”
Sadie is pleasantly surprised by this invitation. Seeing as it sounds a better evening’s entertainment than stewing in grief and rage, she assents. As Abigail divvies up the wooden pieces, she makes idle conversation, chuckling “I don’t know what you’re doing right, but Pearson’s food is downright edible now.”
Sadie hasn’t thought a kind word to herself in months. The unexpected compliment knocks her off-keel.
“Uhh, thanks. Been chopping vegetables all my life.”
Abigail takes her awkward dialogue in stride, laying down the first piece and surveying the options remaining on her tray. They keep playing for a few rounds, and then Sadie lays down what she considers a perfectly valid choice, but hears her opponent cluck her tongue.
“What?” she grumbles.
“Well no wonder you got beat by a toddler!” Abigail exclaims. “You gotta play the long game, Mrs. Adler. Make sure you get rid of those high number pieces first so if’n you lose, you ain’t givin' too much away. Consider it more like whorin’ and less like courtin’,” she winks.
“Cain’t say I’ve had much luck with either,” Sadie mumbles.
Abigail sighs as her face falls. “Oh, I put my foot in it. I don’t know what you’re goin through, Mrs. Adler, but I done had my heart broke before. I should’ve seen that you ain’t ready for teasin’ yet.”
Sadie blushes. “It’s okay. You’re the first person besides Jack to treat me normal the whole time I’ve been here. I think sometimes that I have to focus on the pain because it would be a betrayal of Jake to feel anything good again.”
Abigail softens. “You loved him? He loved you?”
Sadie nods. “He was the first person was ever generous with me. “
Abigail takes one of her hands. “You take all the time you need. But when you’re ready, I think he’d want you to feel good.”
Sadie deflects from the intensity of the moment by playing down her final piece.
“Domino,” she whispers, breath fogging under the twinkling stars.
——————
Jack, seeing that Arthur is off on other business and his father is god knows where for who knows how long, invites Sadie to go fishing. She can’t find it in her to say no, figures it might do her good to get out of the camp and soak up the sun. He puts his tiny hand in hers and leads the way, babbling all along about the stories he is reading and what fish he hopes to catch. They set up on the bank of the river, and while Sadie is impressed by the boy’s ability to wait, he can’t help but ask questions.
“Mrs. Adler, do you miss your old house?”
“You can call me Sadie, Jack." She swallows, trying to think of the best way to speak of her sadness to such a young child. "I do. I mostly miss my husband. He was the best man I’ve ever known. We had to work hard, but we did it together.”
“Is it lonely without him?”
“At first, I didn’t think I could ever get out of bed again. But you’ve done a lot to help with that, sir.”
“Sometimes I miss Daddy when he goes away, but Momma always tells me that the best way to find a friend is to be a friend. We’re friends, ain’t we?”
“We sure are.” Sadie’s line jiggles with a bite. “You wanna help me reel this one in?”
Pearson is thrilled with the bounty of fish they bring back, and Jack insists that Sadie join him and Abigail in eating their share. He bridges the gaps in conversation between them, generously avoiding any comment on how Sadie seems to be increasingly flustered in the presence of his mother. Abigail is beautiful and charming. Sadie's never had a friend like her before. She doesn't really know what to do with herself.
—-----
When Mary-Beth learns that Sadie is literate, she squeals with delight. “Finally! I’ve got a story that’s been begging for a new reader!”
Abigail warns her about the content. “Pure filth, all of it. But she does write it pretty. Say, why don’t you bring the next story she gives you over to the tent and read it out loud? I usually have Jack read stories to me, but I’m not quite ready for him to know what Mary-Beth’s characters get up to.”
“Alright, Dutch won’t let me go out with the gang anyways, might as well spend some time in the gutter.”
Sadie’s not had much leisure time in her life, but she has had the chance to read a romance story or two. This one is different though. Mary-Beth, it appears, has written about two women. Two women with physical descriptions not all too different from themselves, and who are taking liberties with their bodies that Sadie has never considered, much less said out loud before.
She’s not so much of a coward that she don’t finish the chapter, but as soon as it’s done she awkwardly clears her throat. “Well. I reckon I ought to turn in.”
“Sleep well, Sadie.” Abigail hums. “I’ve got to tell Mary-Beth tomorrow, this was my favorite one of hers yet.”
“It didn’t bother you none? Two women being together?”
“Oh, I had me a pretty full life before Jack came along,” Abigail winks. “Where do you think Mary-Beth got her information?”
Sadie ponders that thought on her walk back to her tent and has some downright sinful dreams.
—————
Arthur finally lets Sadie join in the action, and she comes back to camp with a new outfit and a new outlook. Abigail wolf-whistles. “Well, Mrs. Adler, you’re looking mighty handsome.”
“You like it?” Sadie is often quiet, but she’s not shy, except for in this moment.
“I really do.” Abigail places a hand on her bicep and gently squeezes, meeting her eyes with a smile. “I think you’re more suited to being a hero than a damsel, don’t you?”
“Momma! Sadie and I can both be your hero!” That boy is not subtle. Sadie blushes.
“I reckon that’s more than alright with me,” Abigail answers. “Two cowboys to my rescue! What more could a girl want.”
—————-
Sadie knows from piecing together context that John Marston missed the first year of his son’s life, and from observation that he doesn’t seem particularly invested in being around for the following three years. Tilly and Karen give her the full story one night, now that they’ve apparently gotten to a level of familiarity that includes tipsy gossiping. Sadie can’t help it, it pisses her the hell off. She staggers over to the waterside where Abigail is smoking a cigarette, enjoying a rare moment of quiet calm.
“You deserve better, you both do.”
“Pardon?”
“Marston’s a damned fool. If I had a woman like you, I wouldn’t leave you for a moment, much less a year. And Jack! That boy is something special, he shouldn’t have to wonder why his daddy can’t be bothered to stick around! “
“You wouldn’t, would you?” Abigail is teasing but also seems to be seriously contemplating the question.
Sadie can be reckless, angry, impatient, but she’s lost too much to be scared anymore. “I’d stand by you until they put me in the ground.”
“Ok, then.”
“What?” Sadie’s breath comes heavy. She hasn’t realized how close they’re standing until Abigail grabs her by the collar and pulls her in.
“Get over here. Let’s see how long you can keep that promise.”
When their lips meet, something that has been clenched in her since Colter unravels.
————
Sunday finds Sadie back at the domino table, squaring up against Jack in hopes of mending her pride.
“All threes this time!”
“Okay, Jack, but I’m not much for sums. You might have to help me out a bit.”
“You get points for making groups of three! Like you, me, and Momma.”
Abigail looks on with warm eyes from the open flap of the tent, hair mussed from the night before. Sadie's heart rises in her chest as she reaches for Jack's hand.
“Yeah. I can do that.”