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It had happened to him again.
Allen Walker used to fall asleep at the baths. Today, it didn't cut it.
It wasn't a problem. The water was warm, he was comfortable there, Timcanpy, which he was gently polishing, was against him. Allen was really relaxed. It unstressed him, he never had something that felt so good. He was comfortable. He forgot everything, even the fact that he wasn't alone and that he was perhaps monopolizing the space a little - he took the best seat, right where the water heated, it burned his butt, but it was extra - and that he could easily have slipped and drowned in the water. The communal bath was big enough for 6 or 8 people, but, well, he never had a problem and at least when he got out of there, Allen felt clean, fresh, happy.
So of course, lulled by the intense heat that surrounded him, Allen ended up closing his eyes, hugging Timcanpy against his chest, both submerged in the water.
He finally blinked when he heard someone slip into the pool with him, a splashing sound waking him up. By the time the young man emerged — he was sleep deprived, after all, he started thinking.
He wondered who was going to be found here, with a cheerful haste. Lavi, maybe they could have talked, it would have been nice. Marie, Krory, or Link, with whom he could have made conversation. A Finder, someone a little pleasant who decided to take a bath around 4:30 p.m.
Allen smiled, opening his eyes, only to find none other than Kanda Yû.
Crap.
It wasn't about him that Allen thought when he imagined someone nice.
He frowned, unsure whether to go back to sleep — but with the Bakanda nearby, really? At any moment, the latter would want revenge for the jokes he and Lavi regularly made, and he would take the opportunity to do something to him, such as stealing his towel, or something stupid like that — or, alternatively, stay awake and stare with an annoyed pout.
He opted for the annoyed pout. Well, maybe that was a bit exaggerated and not very nice of him, Kanda hadn't said anything yet. He wasn't looking for a fight, Allen had no reason to bother him either. They could ignore each other, they were two big boys, after all - although Allen still found it hard to believe that Kanda was older, he was more than just as much of a kid as him!
Still, silence would be great.
Allen sighed, going back to rubbing Timcanpy with a small towel he took on purpose.
Kanda chooses this moment to speak.
“If you go back to sleep, Moyashi, at least do me the favor of not snoring. It sounded like a bear.”
Allen had wanted to be nice to Kanda.
Ignore it. Do not say anything. This guy's just trying to make me go wild.
But Kanda had just been provoking him, so screw it, Allen couldn't hold back. Grimacing, clearly annoyed, he glared furiously at his comrade:
“My name is Allen, and I don't snore like a bear! I was resting, Bakanda!”
Kanda stifled a cynical sneer.
“Yeah, acting like a bear.”
“Leave animals alone! You always call Lavi a rabbit, and now I see I got my new nickname, what is it? Do you want to open a farm? Go ahead, no one will hold you back! You will give us a vacation!”
Proud of this retort, Allen crossed his arms over his chest. He was growing ever more annoyed.
Kanda laughed, and it almost shocked Allen, before he replied mockingly:
“Have you ever seen a farm with bears? I see that the gentleman is a specialist of the countryside.”
“Kanda, I hate you!”
Stretching in the water, Kanda's chest bulged forward, and Allen couldn't help but stare at his muscles with a certain... jealousy. Kanda was built like a Greek god; it was just infuriating that a guy with such a shitty personality was so hunky and handsome! He had a face prettier than a girl’s; Allen had never seen that in anyone. That tattoo on his chest, too. Allen swallowed, and he couldn't help but think that perhaps the Bakanda had done it on purpose to get him to watch.
The thought seemed twisted and weird to him because there would be no reason, other than being pretentious which was after all entirely plausible.
On the other hand, he realized that yes, he was staring at Kanda.
He was staring at him for a long time.
And the latter had noticed it, seen as he gave him an irritated look.
This time, Allen felt himself blushing.
He looked away, hearing Kanda sigh.
“Whine as much as you want, I'm right.”
Allen gritted his teeth, ready to answer back, when Kanda did it for him:
“Your farm thing isn’t a bad idea. You would make a wonderful pig. I already have my first pet.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Allen had literally jumped up, forgetting his nudity, standing up, threatening Kanda to punch him while towering over him.
Allen hadn't thought at all about the fact that his body tended to have certain embarrassing reactions in the water. In addition to the fact that today, he had the impression that this awkward situation, as he had been caught in the act of detailing his rival, was no stranger in what was happening to him.
Kanda's eyes widened as he looked at him, Allen following his gaze and returning to the water faster than he had ever entered it, turning crimson.
The swordsman burst out laughing, mockingly, while Allen was petrified, really hoping that he wouldn't get the wrong ideas.
“Holy fuck, you have a hard-on!”
“The water is hot, Bakanda! I.... It happens sometimes, don't tell me otherwise, you're also a boy!”
It seems at least, with your long hair and your pretty face, he thought. But he didn’t say that. That would have been a bit low. Allen avoided being too low. He didn't want to be mean. Then, as for checking, he refused to look between his comrade's legs, although the latter did absolutely nothing to hide what was there.
Normal, they were guys.
Allen held Timcanpy against his stomach, hoping it would hide what...had to be hidden. His face was really red, and he knew Kanda saw it. He was humiliated. There, he had difficulty imagining how he was going to bounce back. It made him feel ashamed, very ashamed indeed. Kanda had him trapped.
The oldest complied.
“It happens to me, yeah.”
Under other circumstances, Allen would have said a sarcastic "glad to know" between disgust and shock, because it was none of his business, but now, given their conversation, he felt strangely comforted in his sense of humiliation.
He looked up at Kanda, still embarrassed.
At least the latter had not misinterpreted his bodily reaction. It relieved him. Without knowing why, because there was no real reason for it to be misunderstood, right. Allen wasn't even sure if looking at Kanda was the cause, it had been a coincidence, that was all.
“Relax, kid. It's not dramatic.”
Allen gasped.
“I'm not a kid! And that’s what I said, it’s not dramatic! You still made fun of me while watching, it's embarrassing!”
Kanda grumbled under his breath that he was a “damn whiny baby", to which Allen stormed back that he was a poorly behaved boor. It didn't affect Kanda, of course.
The two boys had once again missed an opportunity to quietly ignore each other. Kanda had it coming. Allen knew that sometimes he was not to be outdone in their conflict, but there was nothing he could do about it, Kanda had called him a bear, all the same! It was really over the top. He didn't snore, either. Link never complained about it. He might sometimes have had shadows under his eyes when he woke up, but that didn't mean Allen was to blame.
He simply had too much work.
They stopped bickering. Allen was, somehow, satisfied with this. Kanda closed his eyes, stretching back again and straightening his legs. Allen, for his part, made an effort to look away - not his fault, the movement had caught his attention despite himself, it wasn't his fault at all!
Allen went back to rubbing Timcanpy, doing the same.
It was a bit awkward being all alone with the Bakanda at the baths, in truth. Allen disliked the fact that he couldn’t talk when there was someone else around, but with Kanda, the mere idea of discussions, like the ones they had just had, didn't end well. It was pissing him off.
On the other hand, what could he have said to Kanda? Nothing.
They weren't friends, Kanda had nastily reprimanded him the rare times Allen had wanted to be friendly. For Allen, the deal was signed, Kanda would be his eternal enemy — not to the point of wishing him harm or anything like that, Kanda hadn't done anything horrible to him, but they would never like each other. That was all.
He was still a little morose, and the feeling of embarrassment grew.
Would he and Kanda ever be able to have a nice conversation? At least a little?
He looked away, heaving a new sigh.
Kanda opened his eyes at that moment, Allen still reacting to the movement, and they made eye contact from which the younger quickly slipped away, affecting an flustered face.
Things getting on his nerves as well, Kanda let out a 'tch'.
Allen, for his part, was still sulking, his uneasiness growing further. He pursed his lip between his fingers, and scratched it nervously, turning his face to the opposite side of Kanda's. He couldn't get over this feeling.
It was not a good sensation.
Maybe he had spent enough time in the bath?
He refused to let this ass of a Bakanda ruin his favorite time of the day, and to leave early because of him, but...
Kanda chose that moment to huff again.
“Do you have a problem, Moyashi?”
Allen bellowed without delay:
“I'm Allen, and no, not at all, I don't know what you mean!”
Kanda snorted mockingly.
“You can’t fool me. I can see that you can't get over it.”
“I got over it, it was just... Aaah, you're a pain in the ass! Don't insist!”
Kanda sneered at his crestfallen face.
“Don't worry, I saw enough horror during the war. I'll forget that one without a problem.”
What do you mean, “that one”?! There was nothing horrible about his... well, Allen assumed. He restrained his urge to complain, not wanting to have a conversation like that with Kanda.
Allen would have liked to forget too. He couldn't help but bounce back, raising an eyebrow, slightly offended:
“You have a such a weird way of saying things, Kanda, I swear...”
But if they could both forget, and maybe talk a little more calmly, he was fine with making the effort to move on by subtly changing the subject.
Allen Walker was willing to make an attempt at appeasement. Kanda also seemed on the same wavelength as him, since he had started the conversation first. Strange, but notable.
Kanda shrugged, as if to say that the way he spoke was simply his own. However, he looked at Allen, detailing him in a way that set him on fire. Allen didn't understand why Kanda was looking at him like that. It was strangely intense. Allen felt like he wanted to bury himself to escape his staring eyes.
“Do… Do you... have a problem, Bakanda?! Don't gaze at me like that!”
As if he was upset, Kanda grunted.
“I'm not gazing at you. I just noticed you turned into a shrimp. You lost weight. I see your ribs.”
“Wh-what?” Allen blushed—again, wrapping both arms around his body, embarrassed as can be. “But wait, why are you even looking at my ribs?!”
There were too many things driving him crazy. Kanda had decided to tease him, but it wasn't just teasing! He was bullying him, it had to be it, and he was going too far! So of course, Allen had also watched, it was still more embarrassing when Kanda did it, especially to tell him that.
Especially because Allen knew for a fact that if he shared his own thoughts with Kanda, other than flatting his ego, it would have done nothing. It made him furious.
“I'm not a shrimp! Stop looking at me! Between that and your eyes trailing between my legs, I'm going to wonder about things!”
Kanda gave him a cheeky eyebrow raise.
“Not even in a dream, Moyashi.”
“Because you think I dream about it? Do you want us to fight?”
A vicious smile appeared on his comrade's lips.
“It depends. I won't fight you naked and even more while you're still hard.”
Allen looked down at his crotch, shame taking over him again.
“K-Kanda, stop! It's wrong ! You said we must forgot, do it too!”
And yet, yes. He was still hard. The water was hot, it wouldn't deflate as long as the water was hot like that. It was so nice. Allen couldn't help it.
“It’s you who wants to fight. I'm just telling you that I won't do it under these conditions.”
“I can't help it, I swear, water does that to me... every time.”
It was awkward discussing this with Kanda. But the latter, to his great surprise, just chuckled half-kindly.
“I don't miss having a 16-year-old body.”
“You say that like you're 40! How old are you, exactly?”
It seemed to Allen that Lavi had already given him Kanda's precise age. Except he had forgotten it. He just knew Kanda was older. But that he was three years old of mental age. Maybe even less.
“19 years old.”
“Oh, that’s all! You're not that old!”
Kanda shook his head.
“It's not that. It's because at your age, hormones are shit.”
“Except it's not the hormones, it's the water, grandpa! Then, you must have it too, Lavi is a year younger than you, he never stops ogling girls! It doesn’t go away like that!”
Well, Lavi seemed to be a very special case. Neither Allen nor Kanda could have been at his level. No, Allen even had the impression that on that matter, Kanda and him were the same. Quite sober, as for their physical attractions to others. Allen out of modesty, moreover because he didn't feel that much about it. As for Kanda, Allen would have been surprised that anyone had given him such feelings... Except perhaps his sword, Lavi had already joked about it. It wasn't very nice, looking back on it.
Allen was vexed, however.
For his part, Kanda shrugged, not bouncing back on that anymore.
Allen was still intrigued as to why Kanda was making this comment about his ribs.
“Otherwise, can I know why you call me a shrimp? Except to insult me?”
Kanda gave him a sidelong glance.
“So that you watch out for yourself. You've grown taller recently, but your weight isn't keeping up at all. This is not good.”
Allen felt his cheeks turn pink, again, but for another reason. Kanda...was worried about him? For real?
No, not possible. He was in another dimension. This Kanda was not Kanda but an alien who had become Kanda and killed the previous Kanda. Or maybe his left eye didn't see it but Kanda was an Akuma. That’s why he thought about the alien first. Allen didn't know, it just wasn't possible.
“Why do you care? You're not my mother! And let me tell you I eat a lot!”
He ate a lot, yes. But right now, he was stressing a lot, fighting a lot, so... the ratio was difficult to maintain.
“You will be less able to follow the training sessions. I don't want to fight a twig.”
“I'm not a twig! Besides, if I grow up, you'll have to stop calling me Moyashi!”
Kanda laughs.
This time it almost seemed…nice. Before he answers.
“Not even in a dream, for that too.”
“Piss off! You'll see, one day, I'll be bigger! And there you will be humiliated!”
“We'll see. I don't really believe it.”
This made Allen angry for good.
To hell with his efforts, Kanda and him bickered for a long time, before Allen, at his limit, took Timcanpy and left the bath.
“Hey, Moyashi,” Kanda called out to him as Allen grabbed his towel. “I'm serious.”
“About which part?” the boy said annoyedly. “Do you really think I won't be able to surpass you in height?!”
Kanda sighed through his teeth.
“No, dumbass. When I tell you to watch out for yourself.”
Oh, Kanda was trying to torment him.
It was vicious. Very vicious.
Allen ignored the strange feeling that came over him. He tied his towel securely on his hips.
He put Tim under his arm and glanced at Kanda. Between his teeth, he muttered that he didn't understand anything. Then, forced to admit that it was still sincerely kind of Kanda, he whispered softly:
“Thank you, I suppose.”
And he left.
Having Kanda worry about him was definitely weird. He should seriously talk with the others about his assumptions about whether he was an Akuma or an alien in disguise...
A few days later, Allen was much happier. He had asked Jerry for a little more food than usual during his meals, still showing concern not to exhaust their reserves single-handedly, and it had ended up paying off.
In a way, he retained a form of misplaced pride in feeling annoyed at following Kanda's advice. Still, it had worked, and Allen actually felt a little better. Leaving the cafeteria, Allen saw Kanda passing in the hallway, perhaps going to the meditation room or one of the training rooms to occupy himself as he was not on a mission either.
Spontaneously, Allen didn't even think about the fact that it was this stupid Bakanda who was annoying him and who had frankly made him go through all the emotions when they took a bath together. No, he was so happy that it had finally worked, that he no longer looked like a shrimp - it had upset him more than he would have liked to admit, that he burst out in front of him, a big smile on his face, lips tinged with vengeful pride.
“Hey, Kanda! I gained three kilos. I'm no longer the twig you didn't want to fight with!”
He looked like a kid announcing that he knew how to tie his shoelaces by himself. When Allen realized this, he was, damn it, very embarrassed. He felt stupid. As if he needed the other boy's approval!
Especially since Kanda blinked, his eyebrows furrowed, looking like he was seriously wondering what he wanted from him.
He must have forgotten.
By having just said all that himself, Allen had just shown one that he didn't, and two, that it had touched him.
He had shown himself to be a complete moron. He had sold off his pride, but still took a hit on it. There was no one to blame but himself.
Allen once again wished the ground would open beneath his feet to swallow him.
Why was he humiliating himself in front of Kanda?!
The latter finally spoke:
“…Good for you, Moyashi.”
His monotone voice, his neutral face, gave Allen the impression that he was the lowest idiot. Kanda seemed to be mocking him, again, and there was a good reason, frankly, as if it were normal between them, that Allen was so... happy to see him, on the one hand, and that he came to talk to him about such personal things!
Allen stammered:
“I, I... Forget it, I don't know why I'm talking to you about this, you don't care, I... I'm going to leave you alone...”
He turned around, definitely ashamed.
Kanda spoke behind him.
“It's not sarcasm. It's good that you succeeded.”
“Oh...”
Allen turned around.
He looked Kanda in the eye for a moment. He didn't know what to say anymore, he was as red as a tomato, and it bothered him to show himself like that in front of Kanda. Why had he called for him as if he was his friend or... something else, because a friend wouldn’t care that much about his weight. It was embarrassing.
Even more so when Allen realized what was really embarrassing.
He had the impression of seeing Cross with his mistresses telling them that they had to eat a little more, to take care of themselves. They were victorious in announcing that, on the contrary, they had lost one kilo or that they had won some but that it would go away very quickly - on that, Allen also pleaded guilty, not his fault, but with the stress and his symbiotic body, his weight would not stay the same for long. His master's lovers took great pride in it as soon as it happened, while Allen fought to keep every last kilo he gained to have enough muscle mass and be simply in good health.
Women were interesting but strange creatures, sometimes. As a man, Allen struggled to understand. He also struggled to understand that it wasn't really their fault, but he could see a form of pressure regarding their physical maintenance. Greater than that which he himself suffered on a daily basis, which was mainly imposed on him by himself.
What he understood better now was the mixture of embarrassment, annoyance, and a certain form—although he hated to admit it—of contentment that someone was paying attention to his appearance, to his well-being, because it meant that he was given importance. Only, damn it, of all people, why was it Bakanda?! He was definitely not his friend, nor... he refused to think about that, it wasn't likely and it couldn't happen. They were two boys; it would have been really... improbable. Anyway, why did Kanda treated him like that? Why was he interested in him all of a sudden?
Allen wanted to bury himself even more than before, now.
Kanda turned around, extracting himself away from this absurd conversation they were sharing, without trying to talk.
Allen stayed behind, with his poorly controlled shyness, feeling more than stupid. He kept rehashing the same thoughts while understanding absolutely nothing about his conversations with Kanda.
“Moyashi.”
“Uh... what?”
Kanda had finally retraced his steps. He went back, this time giving him a crooked smile that unsettled Allen. To the point that he didn't even complain about the nickname.
Allen felt it coming, the signs were all here. Kanda was going to say something that was going to piss him off or embarrass him.
There was no doubt about it.
“You're cute when you’re blushing.”
He was being ironic, he was making fun of Allen, but with the way he was looking at him... something in his eyes suggested he meant it.
Allen felt like he was going to literally explode as he choked on his saliva and could only stutter something unintelligible, between a "Bakanda, what the hell...!" absolutely outraged. He stayed dumbfounded for a few moments, even after Kanda had left him behind for good. Allen continued to see his face and to hear his words in his head.
The question that worried him the most was why the fuck something weird happened in his lower abdomen that he had never felt before when Kanda had spoken.
However, he understood something.
He hated that stupid Kanda. For real.