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The blanket of grass nestled beneath their hands uncomfortably prickled at their skin, the sun’s rays wavering as the day came to a gradual close. He absentmindedly plucks at the blades pinched between his fingers, thoughts wandering as he turns to look at the variable beside him with flushing cheeks.
Would X agree with the thoughts running through his head? It was something he's been thinking about a lot lately, ever since his show had ended. Being left in your own head for months on end wasn't good for one’s confidence, they've quickly come to realize; especially when those thoughts were mean, that's for sure.
They knew all the things the figments of their imagination had said weren't exactly… not true, if he were being entirely honest with himself. How could they not be? He was possessive; he loved people way too hard, and they always felt… lonely, even in a room full of people. Their friends and contestants never seemed to be enough for them; why couldn't they just be happy with the people who decided to stick around? Why wasn't it ever enough for him that some people even stayed in the first place?
Really, he was sort of embarrassed over how he acted before, destroying things and hurting X for so long… All because he wanted more. He wanted people to stay with him all of the time; if they didn't want to, did that make them… broken, somehow?
Were they broken? Even his fellow Algebraliens didn't seem to ever wanna be with him half the time. Sure, they’ve all made up in the end, which was nice. He even got a super cool party—dedicated to him and just him! It was something he's always wished someone would do for him, and this time, a whole bunch of someones did! It was definitely amazing, but…
It also reminded him of how badly he wanted things to stay that way. He wanted to be accepted and loved for longer than a single day, and he wanted forever to actually mean something. Forever didn't feel long enough as it was—not at all. Why did everyone have to leave just as they were finally starting to feel included? Why leave when everything's been so fun, anyways? Weren't they ‘fun’ enough? He could be even more fun, if that's what they wanted! Is that what X wanted them to be?
He doesn't think he could handle it if X ever left them, as selfish as it sounded. They've left once before, and already he had felt himself getting stuck in their own head. The contestants, as much as he loved them, weren't anywhere near as important to him as X was.
Did X like them enough? X was their partner now and stuff, and while they had always held hands, now they did it for, like… longer than usual. That was a good sign, right? Even when Four’s hands got really super sweaty, X would just grip on even tighter, and he'd melt at the fact that X didn't seem to care how weird or awkward he could be sometimes, unlike everybody else in their life. X has seen every single bad part of himself, and yet they were still here, right beside them. They didn't want that to change. EVER. He needed X to give him that ‘forever’ more than anyone else in the whole world, more than anything. He wanted X to want him forever, too.
“Hey, X…?” he starts hesitantly, voice unusually quiet. “Do you… like me?”
X takes a moment to let the question fully register, all before finally turning his gaze over towards them. He raises a brow, confused. “Huh? Why wouldn't I like you, Four?” he asks, leaning against the palm of his hand.
Four swallows, tapping his fingers together nervously. “Er, uh…” They take a deep breath. “It's just… You know how the others said I was a bit, well… mean? Or when over half my dumb contestants left me for some bozo they've only known for, like… five minutes…” The last part is muttered with a good amount of resentment. Two themself was still trying to apologize, even now—as much as they loved getting to be a host to their own show. Four was a grudge-holder, much to Two’s disappointment.
X, for his part, gives him an empathetic nod of acknowledgement, looking on with worry. “I know, Four… It was really hard, watching you hurt yourself for all those months…” he says sadly, seeming to droop a little.
Four feels the familiar bite of guilt begin to gnaw away at them, the unpleasant ache in their chest an unwanted reminder. It only seems to worsen further when he sees X’s lip start to wobble. “When I first saw you sink into the Earth, I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know what you did—it all happened so fast! And nobody even seemed to care, either!” X rubs his eyes with an angry grimace, kicking his feet. Four lays his head atop one of their nubs, seeking out the comfort just as much as they were. “But then, after a while, I finally found out why they were avoiding me; why they were avoiding helping you. It was because they were… they were scared. Just like me.” They sigh, clutching deep into the skin of their arm as they try to keep themself grounded. He warms at the affection. “They were scared, and confused, and still really, really hurt, Four. Neither one of us were very good friends to them, but they still cared. They still wanted you back, just like I did.” He suddenly smiles, clapping his hands together happily. “And it all turned out alright in the end! Here we are, in the Pillary Ruins, with a successful season behind us, while watching a sunset! HOORAY! ”
Four knows this already—he knows where they are, and what happened. Flower, Gelatin, Leafy, Lolli—even Loser are his friends now! So then… Why did he still feel so insecure?
He shivers, hiding his face deep against X’s skin. “Are you sure? You're not lying, are you? Things are… Things are all better now…?” he asks in a daze, his voice bordering on childish. “You don't think I'm too much? I'm… good?” X giggles.
“You're so good, Four…” they mutter softly, hugging the other closer against him. Four is—to put it simply—absolutely squished. “You always do your best, and you're, like… the most talented person I know!” They suddenly let out a snort. “You’re also a super great pattycake player.” Smiling brightly, X somehow snuggles up even closer as his voice dips down to a lowly whisper. “You make me really happy, Four… More than anything else in the whole world.”
Four stares at them with an unreadable, almost vulnerable-laced expression—though this doesn't stop him from clinging onto X even tighter. He groans, fingers clenching. “You like a lot of things, X—some things being more questionable than others.” X couldn’t help but let out an indignant-sounding squawk at that remark, taking slight offense over the simplification of his character.
He liked loads of other stuff; really, he did! Four however, doesn't seem entirely convinced, a frown tugging at his lips as they squint their eyes. “How do I know you're not just valuing me on the same level of, say—your dumb basket obsession or whatever? I'm definitely not a basket, X.”
X lightly smacks at Four’s arm, letting out an annoyed huff; he could clearly see that they weren't a basket, and even with how admittedly-oblivious X tended to be sometimes, he could see how Four was really only fishing for a reaction of sorts.
He wants X to give them an affirmation. They need to know for sure that X loves them—loves them just as much they do him, if not more.
Still, that doesn't mean he had to trash on their special interest. “Hey! I'll have you know that baskets are, uh… really cool! The coolest, even!” X insists, shaking his head.
Look, he just really liked baskets, okay? It was a passion of his, and there was nothing wrong with it. Nothing!
Four was just rude.
With a pout, he continues, the words coming out in a shaky rush. “They can hold stuff, and… a-and they also look really nice! Actually, they also feel pretty nice too, now that I think about it- ” He begins to happily list things off, all of which Four didn’t feel like listening to, thank you very much.
They quickly cut him off, crossing their arms close against their chest in obvious disapproval. “Don't care,” they say rather flatly, rolling their eyes. “Continue talking about how great and how much better I am than a basket.” They give him a bored look, one that has X curling in on themself. “Or literally anything else in your life, for that matter.”
They suddenly lean in, shoulders tensing tightly. They practically hover above him, their eyes wide with an intensity X couldn't quite define nor properly place. It wouldn't be the first time Four’s looked at him this way; he does it all the time, actually. Usually, they only do it when feeling a particular bout of insecurity, prompting them to ‘test’ X’s love, as silly as it sounds.
He didn't mind it really, and it didn't scare him. When you know Four for as long as they have, his habit for staring becomes just another quirk to add to the collection.
Four doesn't let up, pushing himself up along X’s body until they're practically straddling them, their legs resting at either side of his hips. Four never has been one for personal space. “You only think about me, right? All the time? That's all you should be thinking about.” Four gives him a blank stare, putting back on their familiar, empty smile. “If not… Something bad will happen. Really bad…” he trails off darkly.
X doesn't even flinch, not one to really be phased by Four’s… instability, as he'd call it. When you’re used to having your limbs torn off as often as he was, well… scare tactics weren't exactly going to be very effective. “Well, yeah! Sometimes, I even think of you sitting in a basket. I'm usually the one carrying it.” He pauses, still grinning cheerfully. “You know… with you inside the basket. Like, right inside it. In… inside the basket.” He blinks. “Just so you know.”
“Yeah, okay. That's great, X…” He sighs, all before letting out a frustrated growl. “Grrr—fine! As long as it involves me, and not some silly, basket-looking contestant, then it's whatever.” He huffs, the notion of such not sounding very ‘whatever’ in any capacity whatsoever. “I guess…”
X sighs, wrapping his arms around Four’s head to push him down into a kiss, something that Four was quick to melt into. “You wanna be with me forever…?” Four asks softly between kisses, panting into the breezy, open air. The sun has long since disappeared low beneath the horizon and clustering banks of trees, the stars hanging brightly against that pooling sea of darkness up ahead. X doesn't pay them any mind however, not when Four was looking at him as if he were something better than the stars. Yeah…
Forever sounded good to him.