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But I'm still tryin' to make my mind up

Summary:

Young Wei Wuxian struggles with his new environment and changing circumstances in the Cloud Recesses and beyond in light of his curse, but it's not all bad -- he now has a very entertaining Lan to pester all year!

Then the Wens show their faces, and things get real complicated, real fast.

 

or; Wei Wuxian in the Cloud Recesses through the Xuanwu of Slaughter arc as this universe's version of a werewolf.

Notes:

...Am I free, or am I tied up?

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The moon shines bright and luminous overhead as Wei Wuxian lopes up the mountain, keeping to the shadows under the trees out of habit, though he knows that his bright white disciple robes make it almost a moot point even in the darkness of the evening. He’d left Suibian in his and Jiang Cheng’s quarters, hoping to get out some of the energy festering in his limbs with a run up and down the mountain on his quest for some of the famed Emperor’s Smile.

The bottles of said rice wine swing slightly in his hands as he slows his pace, the liquid inside sloshing a little. The walls of the Cloud Recesses loom ahead, and he regards them thoughtfully, looking for a good entrance point. The wards are airtight, and Wei Wuxian had only gotten out of the Cloud Recesses the first time by way of a gap in them that he’d discovered. He’d come around the other side of the mountain on his way up, however, and didn’t have the patience or time to trek to the opposite end of the compound, only having a little over half of an incense time before he’d have to shift.

Plenty of time! And Jiang Cheng says I’m irresponsible.

He contemplates the full moon, looming above him like the bulbous eye of a giant Yao as the curse paces excitedly in his head, its eager whines ringing in his mind in a way that is more thought than sound. He shakes his head to dispel the sensation before deciding to hop up onto the wall and search for another hole in the wards.

This place is ancient-- they surely have more than one!

Applying a burst of spiritual energy to his legs, he leaps onto the wall, shoes finding purchase on the tiles with a small shff sound.

As he walks along the wards, prodding at them curiously, careful to not trip any alarms, the scent of sandalwood suddenly wafts into his nose. It’s strangely pleasant, if a little strong. Then the owner of the scent makes himself known, jumping gracefully up onto the wall across from him from the opposite side.

“Ah! Good evening! I’m in a bit of a hurry, could we chat a little later?” he says with a smile, but his eyes alight on the Jade Token hanging from the Lan disciple’s hip.

Looks like I found my entrance point!

The other man, delicately handsome and limned by the moonlight, doesn’t look charmed. If anything, his face is blank as stone, even as he says, “Leave the wards-- late returners are not allowed back inside until mao time.”

Aware suddenly that he’d been inspecting what was definitely the Lan sect’s greatest defensive measure for weaknesses, Wei Wuxian smiles winningly.

“Ay, you can’t really expect me to sleep outside! I’m not some hound you can put outside when it’s been bad!” Wei Wuxian says brightly, laughing at his own joke.

“You are to blame for staying out past curfew,” the other teen says flatly.

Oh, good! He thinks I’ve been out all night!

“I know, I know! Hey Lan-gongzi, let’s say we make a deal! You let me in with that handy token of yours, and I’ll let you have some of this!” he says, holding up a jar of Emperor’s Smile enticingly with a grin.

The other man’s eyes narrow, zoning in on the bottle of rice wine in his fingers. “Alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” the other man says flatly.

“What does your family not prohibit?” he quips. Then, calculating the time he has left, he plops himself down on the tiles of the wall. “Fine then, I’ll just drink it right here. I’m not inside, so it’s not breaking the rules!” he says, then pats the top of the wall next to him. “Join me, Lan-gongzi! Only the two of us will know!” he says mischievously.

“Alcohol is forbidden in the Cloud Recesses,” the Lan disciple states once again, like repetition will change Wei Wuxian’s mind.

“And like I said, we’re not in the Cloud Recesses,” he pouts. “Fine then,” he says, faux mournfully, “drinking alone it is then!”

Then, Wei Wuxian bites off the top of the lid to the jar of wine, tips it back, and drinks it in one go.

The blank, indifferent look on the other man’s face turns to (what he assumes is) stunned shock as Wei Wuxian does this, the other teen’s eyebrows raising and eyes widening slightly. This reaction, small as it is, delights Wei Wuxian, and as he wipes his mouth, he watches that expression turn to a clear rage.

He is even further delighted as the first step of his plan succeeds, the Lan disciple drawing his sword and brandishing it at Wei Wuxian, his golden eyes alight with anger.

Yes! Come and get me! Wei Wuxian thinks with glee.

He hops to his feet as the teen crosses through the wards and comes at him, the sword stabbing into the roof where he’d been sitting as he dodges to the side, the tiles splitting under the force.

“Damaging property? What would your elders think, Lan-er-gege?” Wei Wuxian says.

He’s rewarded with the fury that contorts that pretty face even further, and Wei Wuxian grins.

Wei Wuxian lunges suddenly, the Lan disciple taken off guard by this reckless move, but Wei Wuxian only grabs his shoulder, delighted to feel the effect of the Jade Token activate on him as well. It feels like a cool blanket on his skin, and Wei Wuxian uses the momentum to spin them both to the other side of the ward separating the two sections of the wall, the thick film of the barrier slipping easily over their bodies.

The Lan disciple’s face twists further, most likely having caught on to Wei Wuxian’s plan. Wei Wuxian only laughs brightly.

Then he finds that he can’t disengage and, strangely, doesn’t want to.

They dance for… Wei Wuxian isn’t even sure how long. The Lan attacks skillfully and precisely, blade flashing in the moonlight, keeping Wei Wuxian on the back foot. Wei Wuxian alternates between deflecting the blade of the sword with swift kicks and dodging the swiping metal with high leaps and twirls into the air, even going so far as to do a completely unnecessary backflip with a brilliant laugh.

The wolf howls with exhilaration right along with Wei Wuxian’s racing heart, and he thinks that if he’d had Suibian, he and the Lan disciple would be evenly matched.

Then he stumbles as his spiritual energy seals itself off, only barely avoiding a cut to his cheek.

He blinks, eyes widening, finally paying attention to what the moon has been telling him, having been thoroughly distracted by the fight.

He’s almost out of time.

Maybe Jiang Cheng had a point about his levels of responsibility.

Dodging another blow, he says, “Listen, Lan-er-gege, I uh, I’m really in a hurry, my roommate will be cross with me if I'm out much longer, so let's continue this tomorrow, eh?”

“Accept your punishment,” the Lan’s expression is almost back to its base state of blankness, but Wei Wuxian can still hear his heart beating a rapid staccato due to his ire.

“What!” Wei Wuxian squawks, “but I didn’t even know the rules!”

“You know them now. Give me the wine.”

Wei Wuxian pouts, handing over the jug he’d been hiding behind his back.

It was worth a try!

“Return promptly to your dorms,” the man says, looking at him sternly, but the speed of the Lan’s heart tells a different story.

“Aye aye, Lan-er-gege!” he says with a shit-eating grin and a wave.

Lan-gongzi’s heart trips with his outrage, his white robes luminous in the light of the moon.

Wow, he really hates me! Wei Wuxian grins wider. I’m going to have the time of my life with this guy!

Wei Wuxian squints.

Wait, why are his ears turning red?

Then, something shifts under Wei Wuxian’s skin.

He startles, then says, a bit too loudly, “HAHAHA! BYE SEEYOULATER,” his words running together in his haste. Then he leaves without a backward glance, though he feels the Lan’s inscrutable gaze burning into his back.

Wei Wuxian leaps down from the wall, making good time to his and Jiang Cheng’s temporary quarters. The wolf howls, scratching at the confines of his mind with wispy phantom claws.

He skids to a stop in front of their room, opening the door with more force than he intends to with a wince.

Jiang Cheng, who, from what Wei Wuxian could tell, had been pacing back and forth in the small space, jumps about a foot in the air at the loud noise.

“There you are!” he snarls, glaring. “Do you have any idea what time it is? Where were you? Do you want to be exposed?”

“Aw, were you worried for me?” Wei Wuxian grins cheekily, entering the room and closing the door more softly behind him.

“No!” Jiang Cheng lies, glaring harder. “Don’t avoid the question! What the hell were you doing?”

“Ahahaha! Well, I--”

“No, nevermind, I don’t care! Do you want to disgrace our sect the first night we’re here?”

“Wh-- Jiang Cheng, of course not! I was just-- ah, celebrating our first night here! I wanted to celebrate with some Emperor’s Sm--”

He’s cut off by a loud crack of shifting bone and a whimper escaping through his lips as pain radiates sharply from his hip. He uses the wall to support himself, knowing from experience that he won't be able to hold himself up with that leg.

Jiang Cheng curses and races to his bag, fishing around inside for a moment before returning with a silencing talisman in hand, hastily slapping it over the door. The talisman activates with a pulse of spiritual energy, coating the room with a thin layer of said energy to keep any sound made in the closed-off space from escaping.

As soon as the talisman is in place, Wei Wuxian lets out the ragged groan of pain he has trapped in his throat, sweat beading on his forehead.

“Do you. Do you need any help?” Jiang Cheng asks gruffly, as soft as he ever gets, the winds of anger seemingly taken out of his sails.

Wei Wuxian shakes his head. “No, just turn around and cover your ears,” he says, and is surprised when his voice barely wavers.

Jiang Cheng nods and, looking pained and awkward, turns around to face the wall and plugs his ears with his fingers.

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath, leaning back against the wall. He quickly shimmies out of his robes until he stands bare chested in the room. Not looking at his shidi, he works his way out of his underclothes, jarring his hip in the process more than once even as he holds it back from deforming further inward. Naked, he gets down on his hands and knees and, shuddering with dread, removes his seal-embroidered hair ribbon.

The thought that his shijie had made this for him helps, the memory of her soft gentle scent calming him down when his fingers touch the smooth cloth, feeling the imprint of the embroidered seal. But it only lasts for a moment before he lets it fall to the floor and the howling of the curse hits him full-force, no longer dampened by the suppression of the ribbon. He squeezes his eyes shut as the pain engulfs his body like a tidal wave, and he can’t stop himself from crying out. He hears Jiang Cheng flinch and clenches his teeth together, determined to be more quiet.

This is why I needed that sweet, delicious Emperor's Smile! he laments.

He’d discovered that alcohol dulls the pain of the shift, and he’d been drinking immediately beforehand to help with it for the past year.

Not that he’d ever tell the Jiangs that.

Aiyah! That damned Lan! I could really use that second jar of wine right now!

Then the change takes him in earnest, skin rippling as bones and organs shift and grow within him, never breaking skin. The shape of his spine curves, his elbows and shoulders become more compact, the joints shifting up and out as his ribcage narrows. His teeth and jaw start to ache as his mouth stretches into a snout and he can’t quite hold in a keening whine before his throat itches with the thickening of vocal cords. Finally, his hands and feet warp into paws and fur sprouts along every inch of his skin.

He stands there, shaking and panting with the exertion and the pain still tingling from his nose to the tip of his tail. He opens his eyes, blinking as his sharp vision takes in Jiang Cheng standing farther away than he’d been before, his shoulders hunched up around his ears in visible distress.

The desire for mischief lights up Wei Wuxian’s heart, and he trots forward on silent paws. Then, he stands himself up on two legs and shoves Jiang Cheng over with his front ones. Jiang Cheng falls over with a shout, arms pinwheeling as he lands, not quite catching himself as he thumps to the floor.

“What the-- You asshole!” Jiang Cheng shouts upon turning over onto his back to face Wei Wuxian.

With a yip of glee, Wei Wuxian pounces on Jiang Cheng, claws carefully sheathed. Pinning down his shoulders with his front paws, he lets his tongue hang out in his shidi’s face, tail wagging wildly behind him.

Comprehension dawns on his face and he says, “No, wait, don’t-- don’t you fucking dare Wei Wuxian, I swear--!”

And Wei Wuxian cuts him off by licking a long stripe up the side of his face.

“AUGH! STOP STOP STOP STOP!”

Jiang Cheng thrashes, but doesn’t actually put any real effort into pushing him off as Wei Wuxian covers his face in the sloppiest kisses he can manage. He could shove him off fairly easily-- Wei Wuxian weighs about the same as he does in his human shape and isn’t physically any stronger than before.

Jiang Cheng may have had to get rid of his puppies, but at least he still has a wolf once a month!

Wei Wuxian sits back on his haunches, tongue hanging out in a wolfy grin.

Jiang Cheng sits up, wiping his face, “Ugh! You’re disgusting!” he says, but Wei Wuxian can see the corner of his mouth ticking up as he holds in laughter.

Wei Wuxian wags his tail, the appendage thumping on the wooden floor of the room.

Jiang Cheng’s half-faked annoyance is cut off as he yawns.

“Let's go to bed. We have to get up at mao time tomorrow,” he grumbles.

Wei Wuxian lets out a low groan and flops dramatically onto the floor, lying motionless on his side like the mere thought of getting up before si time has slain him.

“You’re so dramatic, getting up early won’t kill you.” Jiang Cheng snorts, like he hadn’t just been complaining about the same thing.

Wei Wuxian flops over onto his other side with a mournful bark. He closes his eyes as he hears Jiang Cheng start to change into his sleeping robes.

He can’t help but think of the Lan he’d met tonight. He’d looked young, around Wei Wuxian’s age with a handsome face and a tall, lithe build not betraying the strength and grace underneath that Wei Wuxian had experienced first-hand. His eyes had been the color of spun gold, his hair silky and his scent layered in a way that made Wei Wuxian want to dig into that emotionless facade to find whatever lay underneath.

I’m pretty good at it so far! he thinks with glee, tail thumping on the floor.

Jiang Cheng huffs behind him, “What’s got you looking so happy? Wait, were you late because you were with a girl?” he asks incredulously.

Wei Wuxian lets out a high pitched growl and lifts his head, opening his eyes and snapping his teeth in Jiang Cheng’s direction.

Even I’m not that shameless!

Jiang Cheng huffs and rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Just don’t embarrass the sect.”

He perks up his ears as Jiang Cheng climbs into bed. Getting to his paws, he pads over to the side of it and whines.

“What-- No! Go sleep in your own bed!”

Wei Wuxian lets out the most pitiful whine he can muster, widening his eyes and lowering his ears, tail wagging slowly behind him.

“Ugh-- just-- stop, stop! I hate when you do that!”

Wei Wuxian whines louder, straining his vocal cords to make the sound undulate up and down, his eyes so wide that he’d look deranged if he’d done it in human shape.

Wei Wuxian can see the moment Jiang Cheng caves, his shoulders slumping.

Success!

“Fine, fine! You’re insufferable!” he groans, but scooches over and blows out the candle with a puff of spiritual energy.

Wei Wuxian yips happily and jumps onto the bed, the soft comforter dipping under his weight. Snuggling up to Jiang Cheng, he curls up in the curve of his knee. He’s so big now, though, that his shoulder reaches Jiang Cheng's ankle and his paws hang off the edge of the bed.

The only thing missing is a post-shift snack! He thinks, content despite the growling hunger in his gut.

Wei Wuxian lets out a long sigh in the dark and drifts off to the sound of his shidi’s sleeping breaths.