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A lot of people are jealous of Gojo. He seems perfect in every single way on the surface. He literally has infinite power at his disposal, and the means to effectively control it with his Six Eyes. With his abilities, words like ‘impossible’ are meaningless, and there seems to be no downside to it. At least, no downside that he’s ever let publically show.
Nanami knows that it’s stupid to think that Gojo has never suffered for his powers. Even without going into the heavy burden of responsibility they come with and the effects of growing up a god on the human psyche, there are downsides to the abilities he possesses. It’s just that the Gojo clan has always been very careful not to advertise the fact, knowing how desperate people can be to find any weak point to take advantage of when it comes to their most blessed children.
Nanami initially discovered the flaw of the Six Eyes after Geto left. Until then, Gojo had been careful to not let even the other students at the school know. But that was a tumultuous time in his life, and his control slipped in more ways than one. It just wasn’t possible for him to maintain a perfect facade, not around everyone.
Nanami was just the one who happened to have the responsibility of kicking the prodigy out of bed and into class that day. He doesn’t know if it would’ve been different, had it been someone else. But when he knocked on the door and there was no response, he let himself in and saw something very few people have ever seen: a vulnerable Gojo Satoru.
Not a whiny, overdramatic Gojo complaining about not having his way in things where it doesn’t even matter. But a pale, pained-looking Gojo, who didn’t even try to brush his condition off with a joke like he would’ve any other time. Nanami was faced with Gojo crying, whispering about how much it hurts, begging for him to make it stop somehow.
The Six Eyes are impossibly perceptive. Seeing everything all the time in vibrant, radiant clarity, however, is draining. The Six Eyes are sensitive in more than the perception sense of the word, and they come with head-splitting migraines as a result when they’re overworked.
Nanami took Gojo out to buy blackout curtains the very next day. It took him a while to convince Gojo and make up excuses he’d be comfortable enough to use, but eventually Nanami got him to wear a blindfold instead of just his glasses. Of course, Gojo had been worried about looking weird and people asking questions. Nanami thought at the time that Gojo was just being a stubborn, vain asshole. Now, years later, he wishes that’d been the case.
There are a lot of people who want the Gojo prodigy dead, unfortunately. That’s how it’s always been for every single person born with both of the abilities, and the modern day is no different. It’s been trained into Gojo since birth to never show weakness, to never cower, never submit, never hurt, never allow anyone to think you are anything less than untouchable. Gojo wasn’t avoiding wearing a blindfold because he didn’t want to look weird. He was avoiding it because the thought of anyone noticing that he can experience pain made him want to vomit.
Nanami has become significantly more empathetic towards Gojo since returning to jujutsu. Growing up, becoming an adult and understanding his own problems through therapy has given him perspective. Gojo can still be an insufferable, egotistical asshole, and Nanami still will not put up with it, but now he sees the why of it all. Even if he can’t really understand, as humans can never fully understand each other, the slivers of pain and loneliness and traumatic conditioning that he can see are enough for him to give Gojo at least some lenience.
***
“I’m fine,” Gojo insists. He shakes his head, but the movement is choppy and stops just as soon as it starts. Nanami is sure that if it had been anyone but Gojo, he would’ve seen some signal on his face of the pain that caused him to abort the movement. Gojo is unfortunately talented in all aspects of life, including and perhaps especially pretending that he’s okay when he’s very much not.
“You are not. Go home,” Nanami responds. His voice is stern, but quiet. Even if Gojo won’t admit it, Nanami knows he has a hellish migraine right now. As frustrating as Gojo can be, Nanami still doesn’t want to cause him pain like this.
“I’m literally so fine, Kento, don’t worry about it. I can teach hand-to-hand to some first years,” Gojo tries to convince Nanami. The attempt is unsuccessful. Nanami hasn’t had migraines before, but he has had more than his fair share of terrible hangovers, and he imagines the two are similar enough for him to know that Gojo should absolutely not be up right now. The idea of teaching combat of all things with horrible nausea and an ache drilling into his skull sounds like torture.
“Satoru, cut the crap. I know yesterday strained your eyes, and I know you didn’t have enough time to sleep it off with how late the mission finished,” Nanami scolds the white-haired man. It’s honestly incredible how horrible Gojo is at taking care of himself. Nanami briefly wonders how he ever even stayed alive through the years that Nanami was gone.
“Enough is a relative concept,” Gojo responds, trying to brush Nanami off. He’d probably roll his eyes if it didn’t feel like he might actually throw up from the pain if he did that right now. It’s not like Nanami would be able to see the gesture anyway, since he’s wearing a blindfold, but that’s never been enough to stop him before. Nanami knows when he’s doing it regardless.
“I’m not doing this. Satoru, you’re going back home, and I’m going to take over your class,” Nanami declares. He can see Gojo shrink at the tone he’s being lectured in. Nanami wonders for the millionth time why nobody else has ever bothered to put the man in his place. (He knows it’s because the thought of trying to put the Gojo Satoru in a corner sounds like an impossibility at best and a death wish at worst to most. To him, it only sounds like a hassle.)
“It’s not just class, though. I have meetings with the kids afterwards, too, it’s time for progress reports,” Gojo counters. He sounds a little bit less hellbent on forcing his way through the day, which is a win in Nanami’s book. It means he’s starting to give in and actually listen to Nanami. Now, if only he could just do that all the time instead of needing to go through all these arguments.
“If the progress reports still use the same template as ten years ago, and I bet they do with how fast things tend to change around here, I am well qualified to take care of that, too,” Nanami says. He brushes away the issues Gojo brings up as easily as a speck of dust. And really, the issues just are that small for him. Even if they’re impossibly heavy and unmanageable in Gojo’s anxious and pain-filled mind, the reality of the situation isn’t that stark.
Gojo hesitates for a moment. Nanami knows he has him. He’s had him ever since the first seed of doubt that maybe he really should go home sprouted in his mind. All Gojo needs is for Nanami to convince him, to take the decision away from him. When Gojo has control taken away from him, his guilt and doubt go with it, and then he can allow himself to take what he needs.
Nanami wonders sometimes about the ethics of it all. It’s not like they’ve ever discussed any of this. He’s not sure Gojo’s ever going to be ready for a discussion like that, if he’s honest. But Nanami’s practically using his desperate need for someone else to be responsible against him and forcing him to do what Nanami thinks is good for him, without real consent. Even if it’s done with good intentions, it still feels somewhat wrong.
“Uh… I guess so,” Gojo mumbles, all fight drained out of him. He lets out a shaky breath and his shoulders slump. He looks small and fragile all of a sudden, now that Nanami has taken down his defenses. There’s nothing left but for him to admit that he needs help, that he needs to rest.
“I’m glad we’re in agreement. Now, I’m going to escort you back home and make sure you’re set for the day, and then I’ll come back and take care of your students, okay?” Nanami claims. It’s not really a question, and both of them know it. Nanami’s simply doing Gojo the courtesy of letting him know what’s going to happen.
Nanami takes Gojo’s hand in his to lead them out of the school. He can tell it’s enough to fluster the taller man, since Nanami doesn’t really initiate touch the same way Gojo does. It’s new and vulnerable, somehow, when it’s this way around. Nanami squeezes his hand, silently reassuring him. Gojo follows him without argument, passive and pliant. Now that he knows he’s going to be able to rest, the pain must be starting to feel overwhelming.
“Thank you,” Gojo whispers when Nanami buckles him into the car. It’s a vulnerable, pained, genuine thing. Nanami squeezes his hand again in response. He doesn’t think there’s any words for the situation, and the sound of his voice would be painful to Gojo right now, anyway. But this is enough for him to feel a little less guilty. Even if Gojo can’t say it out loud, can’t ask for this yet, he needs someone to control him and take care of him. Nanami can allow them both to let things stay as they are, for now.
They get to Gojo’s place in silence. Nanami puts Gojo to bed right away, securing the blackout curtains in front of the windows and making sure there’s painkillers and water on his bedside table. Once he’s satisfied that Gojo is resting as best as he can right now, he goes to the kitchen. Of course, there’s no food ready. It’s not like Gojo could’ve cooked last night or this morning. Nanami prepares a few meals for him. He writes instructions for reheating on a post-it note on top of the containers.
The first-years are ecstatic to get a lesson from Nanami. He thinks they all benefit from working with a different teacher for a change. As talented as Gojo is, it’s good for them to also see how far hard work can take you. Filling the progress report forms with the kids is easy, too. There really was no reason for Gojo to be as worried as he was. Nanami handled every responsibility of the day without issue.
Nanami hopes that one of these days, he’ll have done enough to convince Gojo that he can be relied on. Of course, it’s going to take a lot of time for Gojo to find the courage to actually ask for help when he needs it, but Nanami hopes he’ll at least keep getting better at receiving the help he doesn’t have to ask for.