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The transformative aspect of love made Colin seem a foot taller than Anthony, but with the slow and reluctant walk of a tired child. He had not wanted to give up one moment of Penelope’s company, especially after being cheated of an answer to his proposal. He had crossed the street and been polite to Dr. Crowder, then taken up a watchpost under a tree to stare at the Featherington house like a bear that might charge.
“I am not giving up,” he said grimly, with all the theatrical woe of a man in the limbo of suitor to fiance.
He would need errands and business to keep him from bothering Penelope and the other Featheringtons. She must at least have the rest of the day to recover, and her mother was not a relaxing person to be around. Given some steam in his fond head, he might try to call out Lady Featherington for supporting Lord Debling’s suit. It was too late to ask permission to propose. It was too early to launch an ardent and impassioned plea for what had to be Colin’s one thousandth chance to charm Penelope. Surely she liked him, and would be kind in refusal.
Their several dances every few balls apparently added up to more than it appeared. However, Colin had always shirked his math tutoring to get lost in stories. He had a romantic nature that made an early marriage seem natural now that his chosen lady was present and acknowledged. It was characteristic of him to have become the bachelor of the season while thinking himself a novice rake.
Anthony nodded. “No one should tell you to do so. She has not been able to think and decide. Until she says no, she might still say yes.”
He knew his own stupidity when Colin - lovesick and soft-voiced wanderer of the family - sneered at him.
“I am sorry my wife has made me the happiest of all men,” he said. “I wish the exact same for you with Penelope. But you knew we couldn’t steal her from her mother. If you love her enough to propose, you must also love her enough to provide the time for a respectable wedding. A lady without a title does have a standing in society that can be lost due to the haste of a gentleman.”
And she might be as good as engaged, with Debling showing a sustained and particular interest in her. There were sometimes understandings forged early in a season to let a young lady have her bachelorette days and announce the banns as late as possible. Society was full of pressures on a new couple.
Their own sister was not interested in being chased and courted, and Penelope had been much the same. It was a lady’s right to signal she was not eager to be wed without being hunted for her rarity. For example, Anthony was watching as Penelope led her maid out of the house, down the walk, and into a carriage. A helpful brother could remark on her quiet departure, or could pick a small fight so she could go in peace.
“I would not compromise her,” Colin said, his empty hands working with nervous tension.
Anthony moved with his back to the house, inviting his brother to pay attention to his gestures. “You would not mean to. Do you imagine the ring will impress her?”
He thought his brother possessed good taste generally, but rings were different and courtship was a new world. Anthony had often wondered how his casual ladies knew he was not in love with them, but his gifts had been mediocre. Cost was the least of the glitter of a jewel, and an ill-suited thing was junk if it whispered of an empty heart.
“No. Pen does not care for jewels. She will know I am serious. We have joked about many things, and I needed her to have something that proves my intentions.”
He was still looking at her house like a puppy shoved outside in a storm, and looked rather damp of soul.
“I think you should talk to our mother,” Anthony said. “She will have counsel to give. I did not see it at first, and nearly became my wife’s brother-in-law.”
It was easier to be a fool in hindsight. His ego was healed every time Kate smiled at him.
“Mother would be ashamed of me,” Colin said quietly. “I cannot tell her the truth. It was a hash, brother. I made her more angry than I have ever seen Pen.”
A lady who felt nothing did not burst pillows and faint. She was not indifferent, and he would not let hope fade before Penelope was lost.
“If she felt nothing, you would have no hope. She is thinking about it. You have made it impossible to do otherwise. It is unfortunate it was so messy, but love is often such.”
Colin began to walk around in tight circles, his coat flapping. “She didn’t want the ring.”
The most confident woman with several marriages behind her would be petrified by the intensity of Colin looming over her with a ring and a gleam in his eye. Penelope had held up rather well by fainting only the one time and being able to walk after.
“Her mother was right there, and you were practically laying your cheek to her hair and whispering to her. You must summon some patience and circumspection. Recall, Lady Featherington is the one who has to approve the engagement. Pen can accept you, but her mother can object.”
He felt the heat of a glance as he used her nickname, and decided he was going to have to warn Benedict this was not a matter for teasing. Penelope had been a very honoured guest of the family, but everyone knew her time was spoken for by either Colin or Eloise. Even Hyacinth had not tried to steal her for a friend.
“She would not!”
Anthony was going to have to lock up the guns and fencing foils. A duel with a widowed mother of three daughters was unacceptable. Lady Whistledown would recount it and Colin’s subsequent imprisonment with spiky words of censure.
“You do not think Penelope’s mother loves her the way ours loves us? She has gone to the Queen for Daphne’s wedding, and would have done the same to correct the mistaken engagement to Lord Berbrooke. Portia Featherington will not send her daughters to marriages as unhappy as her own. She can act to protect Penelope.”
“Penelope does not need protection from me,” Colin told him, his arms crossed militantly.
Lady Featherington and her late husband had not been doting parents, but they preserved the comforts of society for their children. It was correct and fair she should speak to Penelope’s respectability, even against the Bridgertons. Power did not overarch decency.
“You have not courted her deliberately. The reason for all the balls and receptions is to provide a group setting where we all might mix. Young women are not allowed to simply know men in their circle because they get along well,” Anthony said carefully. “Your time spent in public wins you the trust to meet more privately in her home. You cannot avoid the Featheringtons when you hope to marry one of them.”
The lawn would have a bare spot from his kicking at the ground. Perhaps he could save some work by the groundskeepers.
“I am not avoiding Penelope’s mother, though I know she does not like me.”
Anthony looked across the street and saw the curtains twitch as if they were also regarded warily. He sighed. It was less conspicuous if they hid in a bush, but more humiliating. Perhaps they could tell people Colin had returned home with a fondness for gardening.
“She does not see you as a suitor. You’re a distraction. Ladies are expected to marry young. The Featheringtons have had several setbacks, and there is no man in the family. Connections with other families help keep their place.”
“She should be glad to use me, as she does our presence as neighbours,” his brother said sourly.
They could not glory in being a titled family and also cry about the visibility of it. They were sought after, and part of it was their wealth. The other draw was that they were a large, prosperous and warm family. They could be trusted to quarrel only rarely, and never in public. Not every family was so lucky to like one another.
“That is assuming Penelope will not want her mother to impede you. She must say yes, willingly. I do not think she would use you for your name,” he said.
“I know that.”
He strolled to the opposite side of the front yard, hoping that craning his neck would imply he was taking the measure of the trees and gate. Colin followed with his gaze glued to Penelope’s house. It felt like a threat of a kidnapping once it was dark.
“Knowledge is not acceptance. Bridgertons are mule-headed and resistant to good sense. It’s the price we pay for being raised thinking love matches are the norm,” Anthony said. “Once our feelings are clear to ourselves, we are warlike in our focus. It is not a battle. She deserves wooing.”
And he might also need to cease charming her, once her answer was given. Colin may have to recover a broken heart, and heaven knew how far he would need to travel for that feat. He was decided, and every boyish trait was concealed by his certainty.
“You don’t think Penelope finds me charming?” His tone was arrogant but also truly a question. He was striving to be sure in the face of a reality that made a new world of his own house.
“I think she must find you charming as a suitor, not a friend of childhood. I think just as your new haircut makes you look grown up, your banter could remind her of your younger self who was not looking to marry. You returned home weeks ago a notorious flirt, and this proposal may seem to Penelope like another part of that.”
Debutantes were players in a game where the men had a bigger field and more strategies. They won by making safe moves, because their lives depended on the men who matched with them. Some ladies like Eloise refused to play at all, but she could not leave the ton behind.
“You suggest I would toy with her affections,” Colin asked.
“It is an unfortunate amusement for some men too juvenile to want a wife that they instead choose to lead on a lady and disappoint her. And a fault I saw in myself too late, so I give the wisdom to you before the sin. I think you a better man than I am, but - I know it would hurt you to hurt a lady, especially such an old friend.”
His younger brother sighed, and thumped him lightly on the back. “Your opera singer,” he said. “I know you were very smitten with her. I remember your moods.”
Siena had carried on with her life, and he wished her well. It was better to know what one could not keep, even if the brief taste of it caused sorrow. Anthony could look back and see the quality of his love had been selfish. His greatest concern was that Colin’s affections were so selflessly given they would be mortally wounded in failure.
“Moods are rather the norm in a man with a woman in his life,” he said. “Will you not come in the house? You cannot skulk about in that terrifying coat or people will think you’re here to rob houses.”
And if Colin spotted her returning home, Penelope might be snatched from her doorstep and lectured until she signed up to be the newest Bridgerton.
“Mother will worry,” Anthony said. “Gregory will find you and insist you help dig worms so he can go fishing. Hyacinth will make you carry the large basket as she cuts flowers for her bedroom.”
His brother nodded, resigned to all of it. He would take the stares and the company of their younger siblings to keep his eye on his prize.
“Send our sister out,” he said cockily. “My fiancee must have fresh flowers when I call on her tomorrow.”