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“I couldn't help but notice that you didn't touch me when we practised kissing,” Kabru said, tilting his head as he tried to look into Laios' eyes, while Laios turned his face further and further away from him, staring intently at the wall as if there was anything interesting to see there. “I'm not angry with you,” Kabru insisted with thinly veiled impatience, putting his hand on Laios' shoulder for emphasis. “It would be an awfully silly thing to be angry about. But I'll admit that I'm curious about it. You came awfully close to touching me, but you never did, even though I was touching you. I assumed that you would do the same, because you were mirroring everything I did until then. If there is a reason for it,” he said emphatically, wearing a gentle smile, “I just want to know, that’s all.”
Laios tapped his fingertips together and puffed out his cheeks, before finally exhaling sharply. His eyes met Kabru's before drifting off to the side again. “I dunno. I guess I wasn't sure if it was okay.” he said vaguely, and the corner of his mouth twitched. “I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or anything. I don't mind it when you touch me,” he went on, his eyes glancing at Kabru for another short moment, “but I dunno about you, and I didn't wanna stop kissing you just to ask. I thought it would be easier,” he murmured, looking down at his own hands, “to just not do it.”
“Well,” Kabru said, pinching the bridge of his nose as he sighed deeply, “I suppose I understand why you didn't want to ask.” Truthfully, Kabru thought about asking about it in the moment, but he also didn't want to take a break. He also considered simply grabbing Laios' hands and putting them where he wanted them, but that didn't seem like a good solution. He promised that he would explain everything as they went, at whatever pace felt appropriate. That time, the priority was easing Laios into the mechanics of kissing itself, and admittedly, that went easier than expected, and perhaps faster than he was equipped to handle. He had to excuse himself after a kiss that had gone on for longer than five minutes and set his body aflame. Now, having cooled off, he could tackle it once again from a different angle. “You really didn't need to worry about it, though. Some degree of physical contact is expected during a kiss. It's one of those situations,” he added with a soft chuckle, “where it's not inappropriate at all. The opposite, actually.”
“I knowwww. But,” Laios pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just knowing that doesn't help me. When I was learning healing magic, Marcille told me not to be embarrassed, because it would only get in the way. And I tried, really hard. I got better at it with time,” he went on, subconsciously stroking his forearms with his hands, “but it still felt a little wrong. I never wanted to risk making anyone uncomfortable when I healed them. But maybe me being nervous rubbed off on them and only made it worse. So I tried to stop. Anyway,” he said, lightly shaking his head, “I guess it's not the same thing, but I feel just like I did back then. I know I'm supposed to be using my hands,” he said, putting them up, “but I have no idea how to do it right.”
Kabru took both of his hands in his and gave them a light squeeze. Laios had nice hands. He'd already noticed that before. They were warm and gentle. He certainly wouldn't mind feeling them on his body. “That's what you're here to learn,” he reminded, sending Laios a warm smile. “Of course, what we're doing is not quite the same as healing magic,” he added with a wink, “but I imagine you will find it useful all the same.” He let go of Laios' hands and took a step back. “If you had to guess where it would be most appropriate to touch me to begin with,” he asked, stroking his chin thoughtfully, “what would you say? I'm just curious.”
Laios' eyebrows rode up his forehead. He wasn't expecting to be put on the spot like that. “Where...? Huh...” His eyes slowly scanned Kabru's body from tip to toe and back. Under his curious gaze, Kabru felt his body grow warm, and he bit the inside of his cheek to keep his composure. Laios took the question quite seriously! “Well...” Laios' face lit up as he snapped fingers. “Ah! I remember you touched my face when we practised, so that's probably fine, right?”
“You remembered that? Good.” Kabru laughed awkwardly, relieved, as he nodded his head. “Indeed, that's a good answer. For the sake of simplicity,” he went on, stroking his chin as he looked up at Laios, “I suppose you can think of it this way: start from the top, and slowly move your way down.” He put his hands on his hips and looked down. “It makes sense when you think about it, doesn't it? The area below the belt is quite vulnerable and, one could say, intimate. You would have to be quite comfortable to let anybody touch you there, no? I know I would. Meanwhile,” he went on, poking his cheek with his index finger, “if I'm already kissing someone, it's natural that my hands would reach for their face, and theirs for mine, I suppose.” He furrowed his brow. “I hope that makes sense to you. I've never had to explain it before.”
“No, yeah, it makes sense.” Laios nodded, pointing at Kabru's lips. “If you're kissing, your faces are close anyway, so I guess it makes less of a difference.” He raised his hands and visibly hesitated.
“Go ahead,” Kabru said, letting out a soft sigh. “I won't stop you.”
Laios gulped. His fingers curled up and straightened out again. Slowly, they reached for Kabru's face, and finally cupped his cheeks. He leaned into the pleasant warmth, resisting the urge to close his eyes. He pursed his lips and tilted his head, expecting Laios to lean in for a kiss, but the other man didn't move at all. Kabru's eyebrow twitched irritably. He already got past this point last time. It should have been the easiest part, and yet he was hesitant to do it. Kabru cleared his throat.
“Very good. Notice,” he said, looking up into Laios' eyes, “that I didn't wince or flinch away. I leaned into your touch, and I'm perfectly relaxed right now. That's a sign that you didn't make me uncomfortable. If there was anything wrong,” he went on confidently, “you would have noticed, I assure you.” He put his hands on Laios' shoulders and gently pulled him closer. “I'm about the height of an average female tallman, so you can imagine, more or less, what it will be like when you kiss your future queen. How convenient, right?” he said, and his voice only cracked a little.
“Huh?” Laios tilted his head and furrowed his brow in confusion. “Ah.” He looked past Kabru's shoulder, his expression suddenly appearing distant and tired. “Yeah, I guess so.”
“With our height difference,” Kabru went on quickly, “it's most convenient if I keep my hands on your shoulders or around your neck like this. It will naturally make you lean towards me, mitigating the difference. Of course, I could get on my tip-toes, I suppose, but it's easier this way,” he said authoritatively as Laios nodded along with every word, his gaze fixed upon Kabru's lips. “Anyway,” Kabru said, licking his lips anxiously, “I think I told you everything you need to know, but I think I should mention this just in case. Obviously, I will be unable to give you verbal instructions as we go, just like last time. Therefore, as you let your hands wander down my body, you will have to pay attention to my body language, like I told you before. I will let you know if you do something I really don't like, but,” he assured, smiling sincerely, “I don't think you need to worry about it.”
“Okay.” Laios leaned closer with a determined expression. His lips were inches away from touching Kabru's when he hesitated, testing Kabru's patience once again. Everything was still and quiet for a moment. Kabru held his breath. “Thanks, Kabru. I'll try not to worry. I trust you.”
Finally, their lips met. A pleasant shiver ran through Kabru as he leaned into the kiss, watching Laios from beneath lowered eyelids. He was a surprisingly good kisser, tender but not shy, already lightly sucking on Kabru's lower lip. Well, perhaps it wasn't all that surprising. He was hesitant when it came to using his hands, but he certainly knew how to use his mouth. Kabru briefly wondered if something about his lips reminded Laios of something he'd enjoyed eating in the past, but he quickly dismissed that thought with a soft shake of his head. What he couldn't shake was the impression that Laios wanted to eat him, especially when he nipped Kabru's lip with his teeth, briefly, before running his tongue over it. An apology, or an attempt to taste his blood? Whatever it was, it somehow didn't feel unpleasant at all, as long as he didn't think about it too hard.
Laios' hands felt big and warm when they cupped his cheeks and covered his ears. The tips of his fingers massaged Kabru's scalp, letting his hair coil around them. It was relaxing, like a massage. Truthfully, Kabru wouldn't have minded too much if Laios kept his hands there the entire time. It wouldn't have taught him what Kabru wanted to teach him, but it certainly wouldn't be a waste of time, either. It would simply mean that he would have to convince Laios to be more confident next time, and try again. It was probably better than rushing him through it.
But then, much to his surprise, Laios' hands moved down onto his neck, shielded by the high collar of his tunic. Kabru shuddered and opened his eyes wide in a futile attempt to look down. Of course, he couldn't see his own neck, but he could feel the gentle touch of Laios' hands even through the thick fabric. How he wished that these hands would close around his throat, even for a moment, giving him a pleasant thrill of terror without doing him any harm. But, much to his disappointment, Laios' hands quickly moved onto his shoulders instead, and remained there for now. Well, this was fine, too. As long as his hands were anywhere on Kabru's body, this was a success.
There were two routes Laios could take now, Kabru thought to himself with certain amusement. Perhaps that was why he had kept his hands on Kabru's shoulders for so long. Was he hesitating? Unsure of which way to take his hands? It made sense, Kabru thought. The easiest thing to do would be to keep moving down the front of Kabru's body, which would make his chest the next stop along the way. Laios probably couldn't bring himself to think that this kind of touch was appropriate in this context. He had touched Kabru's chest before, when they hugged, and he apologised profusely when he realised what he was doing, even though Kabru assured him that it was fine. And it was arguably much more awkward then than it would be now!
In any case, there was the other route, too – down Kabru's back. Laios would end up with his hands on his hips or the small of his back either way, no matter which way he decided to go, but this was probably the choice that seemed safer to him. Was he still hesitating because a part of him wanted to take the risk of touching Kabru's chest instead? That was an intriguing thought. Of course, if he chose to do it, he would find that Kabru had no problem with it at all. Kabru would make sure that there was no doubt about it. But perhaps it was too early yet to take that risk.
Laios' hands reached under Kabru's armpit and landed on his upper back. Kabru exhaled through his nose, a soft sigh of disappointment and relief, as he leaned further into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Laios' neck. His chest bumped against Laios', sending another shudder of pleasure down Kabru's body. This was the one advantage of Laios choosing to go down his back instead: it gave him an opportunity to bring their bodies closer together. Perhaps this would encourage him to proceed even further down. It would be a shame to stop there, after all.
When Kabru came closer, Laios broke the kiss just for a moment, taking a deep, wheezing breath. His eyes opened wide and looked directly into Kabru's, startled to see them staring back at him. His cheeks were flushed, his forehead covered in beads of sweat. Were his nerves getting the best of him, after all? Kabru gulped, and, just in case, sent Laios a reassuring smile. Laios raised his eyebrows. He opened his mouth, as if to say something, but instead he caught Kabru's lips in another kiss. His hands moved towards the middle of Kabru's back, just above his waist, and he gave him a light squeeze. Kabru relaxed, smiling into the kiss. It was dangerously close just then, and he knew it. If he let Laios hesitate, if he didn't give him a sign that everything was fine, he would probably end up giving into his unnecessary panic.What a relief.
Conscious of the pleasant warmth of Laios' hands on the small of his back, Kabru briefly wondered how he compared to everyone else he had ever kissed. The number was far less impressive than his reputation would suggest, but still quite respectable. This was the first time he had kissed someone taller than him, though. In that sense, it was a completely new experience, and therefore hard to compare to anything else. What he knew for certain was that he was enjoying himself a fair bit. Laios was a good kisser – what a pleasant surprise! Kabru could certainly work with that. The only thing that stood in his way was Laios' lack of confidence in himself. Perhaps that would come naturally as he gained knowledge and experience. One could only hope so.
Truthfully, it was quite fun to guide him through the process. Kabru never had to approach things from this angle before. Generally, people tended to pretend that they were more experienced than they were, and of course, certain social conventions were almost universally understood. None of the girls he kissed needed him to stop and explain that they could touch him. At worst, he needed to adjust the angle of his head – a thing others could struggle with when they didn't have much experience with kissing. In a strange way, he enjoyed this much more. It was challenging, and fun, and already so rewarding. Of course, the ultimate reward wouldn't be his to claim, but that was fine, too. Knowing that he could teach Laios something useful was satisfying enough.
He couldn't help but wonder if Laios would ever move his hands off the small of his back. He was right on the line they discussed, the boundary one would only cross if they trusted their partner. Perhaps Laios wasn't ready to cross it. Maybe he was saving it for the future, for somebody else. He hadn't yet broken the kiss, so perhaps he was hesitant about it, too. Kabru had no choice but to wait for him to make his decision. This was crucial. There were still many things he wanted to teach Laios, but would only allow himself to suggest them once this boundary was crossed. If this was where it had to end, so be it. He would have to take the small victory of teaching Laios that he was a very capable kisser. At the same time, he couldn't help but hope that he could proceed.
Laios' hands twitched, and his fingers curled up. He cracked one eye open without breaking the kiss. He was checking if it was okay to proceed! Kabru's eyes twinkled as he gave a small nod. His hand reached for the back of Laios' head and gently stroked his hair. It's okay. It's okay.
For a few moments, Laios stayed perfectly still. Kabru held his breath. Please, he thought. Please.
Slowly but surely, one of Laios' hands moved further down Kabru's back, inching towards his rear. Kabru squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his leg, his whole body leaning desperately against Laios. The hand continued to inch downwards, until finally it stopped on Kabru's thigh. Kabru shuddered against Laios' body and smiled into the kiss. The hand on his thigh was unsteady, the touch light, as if Laios was preparing himself to withdraw at any moment, but it was still there.
Laios broke the kiss and shyly pulled away. Still smiling, Kabru opened his eyes. His heart was thumping in his chest and he felt pleasantly lightheaded. He was leaning on Laios with his entire body weight right now, but that didn't seem to be a problem – Laios held him without complaint. His cheeks were flushed, his eyes unfocused, and his lips parted. Kabru absent-mindedly played with his hair.
“Uh. Kabru,” Laios said finally, after what was, in hindsight, a very long moment of silence.
Kabru blinked once, then twice. Somehow, these words brought him back to reality, and he became awfully conscious that his body was still pressed against Laios', his leg still lifted coquettishly. In an instant, he straightened his back, put his foot down and his hands up, defensively, as he sent Laios an awkward smile. “Ah, sorry! I'm afraid I got distracted for a moment.”
“What? Oh, that's fine.” :Laios removed his hand from Kabru's back and used it to scratch the back of his head instead. “I was just wondering if I did okay this time.”
“Oh.” Kabru blinked again. He glanced down at the hand that still remained on his thigh, and then up at Laios' flushed face. “Oh, yes. You did well, my liege,” he said stiffly as he took a step back, putting his hands up to his awfully warm face. “Really quite well.”