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“Hey, Kabru. You've kissed a lot of people, right?”
“Ah?” Kabru blinked, caught off guard by the question. Laios had a habit of asking about the most unexpected things out of the blue. Usually it would turn out he had a reason for it, something on his mind that prompted him to consult Kabru on it, but working his way backwards to the source of the inquiry was a deeply confusing process. What kind of question even is that? Kabru used to say irritably, but he learned not to do it anymore. At the end of the day, it was probably better if Laios asked questions about the things he was curious about, even if they occasionally veered into personal territory. “Well, you could say that, I suppose,” Kabru admitted, setting aside some papers, all bearing Laios' signature on them. “I haven't had the time for it as of late, though. Why?”
“I was just thinking,” Laios said, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded on his chest and his eyes screwed up to the ceiling. This is how it always started. Kabru braced himself for an explanation. “You're a couple years younger than me, right? And you've already done so many things that I still haven't. It doesn't make me feel bad or anything, at least most of the time. I never thought that I needed to be kissing anybody. I figured that nobody would want to do it with me so I just didn't think about it.” He tapped his fingers on his forearm and puffed out his cheeks. “You know what I mean? It's not that I don't want to. I heard it's nice. It was just better not to think about it. But now,” he went on vaguely, “I guess I kinda have to.”
Kabru glanced at him curiously. Of course, he knew that Laios was engaged in the past, and that it happened when he was twelve years old. He also knew that the engagement was broken when Laios left home to become a soldier. He didn't seem torn up about it at all. Kabru's impression was that he didn't feel any particular way about that girl, and things ended before they could begin. He was still a child back then, far too young to truly understand love and marriage and such commitments. It only made sense that he shrugged it off. Then again, in this regard, he wasn't that different in adulthood, either. He stubbornly refused to get engaged, but if his back was against the wall, he would probably accept an arranged marriage with a similar indifference towards the results.
That said, the engagement from fifteen years ago seemed to be the full extent of Laios' experience with anything resembling romance. The man himself wasn't particularly eager to divulge the details of his past, and Kabru didn't want to pry, but perhaps there was simply nothing to pry into. He heard something interesting from his party members, though, something a woman who tried and failed to wrap him around her finger. He treated her kindly, but apparently wasn't aware of her intentions – probably to this very day, too. Therefore, that experience didn't really count for anything.
Kabru came closer and put his hand on Laios' shoulder. It wasn't that he was unattractive, far from it. Even before he met him, Kabru had become aware of Laios' existence through a variety of rumours, including those about his face giving him a royal appearance. Those in particular were rendered hilarious, of course, by Laios becoming an actual royal. As the king, he couldn't stay entirely out of the public eye, no matter how much he seemed to want to. And so the comments kept coming, whispered between giggling chambermaids, exchanged by foreign officials. The king looks so mysterious and brooding. Has anyone ever seen him smile?
Those people would never see the king smile, no. He always wore a frown around them because he was overwhelmed or bored, or both at the same time. This was the secret of the brooding face that left such an impression on everybody. But Kabru had seen him smile many times. He had seen him stretch his arms above his head and yawn and relax as soon as everyone left him alone. He had seen him speak passionately about something or other, he had seen his face light up with joy. In a just world, this kind of man would be cherished by everyone around him, and not say such miserable things as it's better not to think about kissing because nobody would want to do it with me.
“You have nothing to be ashamed of,” Kabru assured him, stroking his shoulder. “It's true that I'm more experienced than you in this particular regard, but there are a lot of things that I could learn from you. For instance, I never learned how to cook for myself. You are still a young man, my liege. If you want to, you can catch up on whatever experiences you missed right now. I'm sure if you said the word, quite a lot of people would line up to help you.” He tilted his head and furrowed his brow. “Why do you say that you have to think about it now? What happened?”
“Well...” Laios pursed his lips. “I could afford not to think about it before, but I gotta learn about all of that stuff now. One day, I'll have to get married, and I guess I'll learn either way when that happens, but that's kind of scary to think about, right?” He looked up at Kabru. “There's so much I don't know about that stuff. I know about handshakes, I guess. I mean, kinda. I still need you to tell me if it's okay to shake hands with all the people that come here or not. And that's the easy part!” He let out a whine. “I don't know what's appropriate at all. Usually I just don't touch anybody unless you tell me to. But it's not like I can ask you to stand there and show me what to do.”
Kabru giggled into his hand. “Well, I don't know if that makes you feel better, but it's entirely possible to go your entire life without kissing your spouse at all. That said, of course, there are other duties, and I assume you know even less about them...” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “And of course, not all kinds of physical contact exist entirely within a romantic context, not even kisses. It would certainly be beneficial for you to learn about it.” He hummed softly, and finally turned towards Laios with a smile. “All right, I can teach you everything I know.”
Laios' eyes widened. “Really? You will? Kabru...!” Laios squeaked, flailing helplessly. In his excitement, he leaned a bit too far in his chair and nearly fell backwards on the floor, but Kabru caught him at the last moment. The strain on his arms was painful, but well worth it.
“Yes, of course. I will do anything I can to help you,” Kabru said, trying not to grimace as he massaged his forearms. “I understand your anxiety perfectly well. It's scary to think about doing things for the first time. Especially since, as I understand, marriage itself is an intimidating idea for you.” He cleared his throat and put his hand on Laios' shoulder once again. “I don't want to overwhelm you, either. I know it may be a lot to take in at once. I will accommodate your pace. Don't hesitate to let me know if you want to stop at any point. Does that sound good?”
“Yeah, it does.” Laios sighed, relieved, and relaxed into the touch of Kabru's hand. “I'm so glad you said that. I don't think I could ask anybody else.” He tapped his fingers together and puffed out his cheeks. “Sorry if it's gonna suck for you, though. I have no idea what I'm doing, so you'll have to tell me what to do all the time.”
Kabru's lips curled into a smile. “Oh, don't worry about it. That's perfectly fine by me.”
*
“Let's start with a kiss on the hand,” Kabru said later that day when Laios visited him in his chambers. Laios stood opposite him, eyes fixed upon his face, anxiously twiddling his thumbs. “I know you've experienced this one yourself. In certain cases it's customary to kiss the monarch's hand when you approach them on their throne.”
“Oh, yeah.” Laios nodded, scratching the back of his head. He cocked an eyebrow and pouted. “The first time it happened, I didn't see it coming at all. I had no idea they were gonna do that.”
“That doesn't surprise me,” Kabru sighed, shaking his head lightly. “I suppose everyone neglected to tell you in advance. Well, I assume you've grown to expect it now, but an explanation won't hurt.” He got down on one knee and held out his hand. “Give me your hand,” he said emphatically, when he noticed that Laios wasn't planning to move. “I'm not going to reach for it myself.”
Laios shook his head like a dog trying to dry itself off. “Right, sorry! I forgot,” he murmured, reaching out his hand with outstretched fingers. “This is okay, right?”
“Good enough, I suppose. A kiss on the hand can be a sign of respect,” Kabru explained, touching Laios’ hand with only his fingertips. Laios’ hands were noticeably bigger than his, and of course much paler, but otherwise they weren't that different. His fingers were just a bit thicker, his palm a little wider, and his fingernails more square. Indeed, his hands appeared surprisingly smooth and delicate. This certainly wasn't the case just a year or two ago, back when he was an adventurer. Their current state wasn't a result of paying attention to skincare or anything of that sort, but simply a matter of having fewer opportunities to dirty his hands with combat or manual labour. Currently, the only symptom of that lack of care was the untrimmed fingernails, coming dangerously close to resembling claws. Kabru grimaced. He would have to trim them himself or ask Laios to do it before he would get to the part of this exercise that involved Laios’ hands on his body. “Technically speaking, it's not supposed to be a kiss directly on the hand, but rather, kissing the ring, or rings, on the monarch’s hand. But of course,” he added with a sigh, “you refuse to wear any.”
“I don't like how they feel on my fingers,” Laios complained, scrunching up his nose. “I don't like metal touching my skin like that. It makes me wanna scratch myself until it's gone”
“I know, I know. I'm not berating you for it. I'm simply trying to explain.” Kabru brought Laios’ hand a little closer. “In the absence of rings, the next best thing is a kiss on the ring finger. Of course, we're only talking about a light touch,” he clarified quickly. “Not slobbering all over the finger. Some would go so far as to avoid touching the skin directly, stopping just short of it.” He hesitated, but finally pressed his lips to Laios’ finger for a split second. “Like so.”
Laios nodded. He was staring so intensely that Kabru shivered under his gaze. “You're right! I barely felt it. It just tickled a little bit.”
“Tickled?” The corner of Kabru's mouth twitched. “Well, I hope this won't tickle.” His grip on Laios' hand changed. No longer careful to barely touch it out of respect, he now held it in a natural way, palm to palm, giving it a light squeeze. “A kiss on the hand can also be a romantic gesture, while still remaining as a sign of loyalty and respect.” He cleared his throat and looked up at Laios' face for a second before his eyes slid off to the side entirely. “Do you want me to demonstrate the difference?” he asked, choking on his own embarrassment. Be professional!
“Yeah, sure.” Laios nodded, looking down at him with innocent curiosity.
“All right.” Kabru brought the hand closer once again. “This time, the kiss doesn't have to be so restrained. While it is still quite respectful, it is also affectionate. Hands are quite a special part of our bodies. We use them to interact with the objects around us, right? In a sense, the hand is the clearest extension of us.” He hesitated, looking down at Laios' pale hand. “There is no rule as to where you should begin, and where you should finish. If you are particularly passionate, you may want to kiss the entire hand. I, however, will stick to what feels most intuitive to me.” He gulped. A kiss to each of the knuckles, from left to right, and then one in the middle of the back of the hand, lingering for a moment too long. “How was it? Still ticklish?” he asked.
Laios' fingers curled up around his hand, once, twice. His free hand shot up towards his bottom lip. “A little bit,” he said in a daze. His eyes were wide, blinking slowly, and his cheeks were noticeably flushed. “It felt pretty nice, though.”
Kabru laughed, getting up from his knees. “Well I'm happy to hear that.”
“Is it my turn?”
“Huh?” Kabru stared at Laios, who was looking at the palm of his hand. His fingers continued to curl up rhythmically. “Your turn, my liege?” Kabru knitted his eyebrows. “I, uh... I don't know how I should say this.” He forced a smile, shaking his head lightly as he put his hand on Laios' shoulder. “As I told you, a kiss on the hand is a sign of respect towards a monarch. You will never have an opportunity to do it to anybody else. You only need to understand what it means...”
“Oh.” Laios visibly deflated. Was he really this eager to return the favour...? “That's a bummer. But you said there's the other way to do it, right? Can I do that?”
Kabru hid his mouth behind his hand. He couldn't help the smile that appeared on his face. He couldn't possibly say no to such a request, could he? “Well, I suppose I can't stop you if you want to try your hand at it.” He closed his eyes and sighed deeply. “That wordplay was not my intention. Also, just so you know, you don't actually have to get down on your knees to do it this way.” He opened his eyes again and reluctantly reached out his other hand.
“I don't?” Laios said, with a hint of disappointment. So he really wanted to do it... Kabru filed that bit of information away in the back of his hand. It could become useful later.
Laios looked down at Kabru's hand, examining it closely, as if he had never seen it before. Carefully, as if he could break it with a single touch, he took Kabru's hand into his. After a moment of hesitation, closed his eyes and leaned in, pursing his lips. When they touched his skin, Kabru understood exactly what Laios meant when he said that the kisses tickled. It was a strange feeling, slightly wet. One kiss for each of the knuckles, and one in the middle of the back of his hand, lingering for just a moment too long...
A pair of amber eyes shot wide open and looked directly at Kabru, startling him. Why did his face get so warm in an instant? He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping that it would go away. Laios slowly pulled away, but stayed hunched over and didn't break eye contact. He licked his lips and opened his mouth. Kabru's heart dropped in his chest. What was he going to say?
“Wow, Kabru! Your hand is really soft.”
Kabru exhaled sharply. That was it, he supposed. “I know. Now, while you're leaning like this, I suppose we can move on to forehead kisses. If you wish.”
“Oooh, sure!” Laios stroked his chin and knitted his eyebrows, deep in thought. “Come to think of it... I don't remember if anybody ever kissed my forehead before? Maybe when I was little.” He sighed softly. “I'm too tall now. Nobody can reach it. But I kissed the dogs on the forehead before.”
“I can do it right now,” Kabru offered quickly, and perhaps almost too enthusiastically. “I mean,” he added with an awkward chuckle, waving his hand dismissively, “your forehead is right there in front of me right now. I might as well. You're right, I suppose. Usually a kiss on the forehead is meant for those who are shorter than us. My mother used to do it quite a lot,” he said, and couldn't help grimacing, “but of course, it can be a romantic gesture under the right circumstances.”
Without a word, Laios nodded eagerly. Kabru gently grabbed his head with both hands and pressed a kiss right in the centre of his forehead. Laios' short hair tickled his upper lip, nose and cheeks. He let go and stroked his nose with the back of his index finger, scrunching up his face.
Before he could say anything, Laios leaned in and kissed his forehead in return. Instinctively, Kabru closed his eyes and parted his lips, letting his body melt into this small bit of affection. Regrettably, it only lasted for a moment before Laios pulled away, putting his hands up. “Sorry! I forgot to ask if I can do this too!” he said in a panic. Kabru opened his eyes and shook his head.
“No, no, it's fine! I understand that you want to try everything for yourself to make sure that you got it right. I don't mind at all,” Kabru said, putting his hand on Laios' shoulder. If he were to be honest, perhaps he would say that he wanted Laios to do it again, but he would rather die. “You may have encountered a kiss on the cheek before, I assume,” he prompted, changing the topic. “It varies depending on culture, but I understand it's common in familial settings in certain places.”
“Oh, yeah. Not my family,” Laios said, looking off to the side, “but I know people do that.”
“That's what I thought.” Based on what Laios had told him, Kabru gathered that the Toudens were not a particularly affectionate family. It was an interesting thought, considering that Laios himself wasn't averse to affection at all. Not only did he let Kabru touch his back, shoulders and arms constantly, but he took every opportunity to hug his friends – though, admittedly, he kept a respectful distance then, too. “A kiss on the cheek can mean many things, but it works particularly well as a greeting between friends and family, if they are the type to seek out this kind of physical contact. And of course,” he added, putting his hand over his heart, “lovers favour it, too. I understand why. It's close to the lips, but there's an innocence to it. Do you mind if I...?”
Laios eagerly shook his head. His cheeks were lightly flushed. “No, no! Go ahead!”
With a soft sigh, Kabru got up on his tip-toes. He grabbed Laios by the chin and tilted his face down slightly. He kissed both of his cheeks, lingering on each of them for a moment. A pleasant shiver went down his spine and he pulled away, blinking rapidly. Laios looked down at him, and Kabru took solace in the fact that his expression probably looked just as silly as his.
Laios gulped and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to each of Kabru's cheeks. Kabru felt his warm breath on his skin and shivered with pleasure again. Laios pulled away and looked down, scratching his head. “Your cheeks are really soft too,” he murmured. Kabru stifled a scream.
“In a sense,” Kabru said quickly, just to say anything at all, “there are as many types of kisses as there are parts of your body. Sooner or later, a passionate enough lover,” he went on, feeling his face grow warmer with each word, “will want to leave their mark on every inch of your body. But we need not worry ourselves about that. I only have to cover the basics for you, after all.” He stroked his chin. “I suppose I should mention that a kiss on the neck is a sign of trust. Rather,” he corrected himself, “allowing another to kiss one on the neck is, I should say.”
“Oh!” Laios clapped his hands. “That makes sense. The neck is a really vulnerable area. Predators target it to get a clean, easy kill.” He put his hand up to his exposed throat and hummed. “I guess you'd really have to trust someone to let them near your neck,” he mused under his breath. He looked as if he wanted to say something more, but decided against it. Kabru put his hand up to his own throat, hidden under a turtleneck. He gulped.
“Then, all we have left is a kiss on the lips. I don't have to tell you that a kiss on the lips is a romantic gesture, I assume. I should, however, say that it's perhaps the most difficult one to navigate.” He laughed, pointing at his nose. “It's all because of the nose. It's impossible to comfortably kiss when it's in the way. That's why both parties have to tilt their heads in opposing directions. If communication fails, it's easy for someone to go the wrong way. And even if you try your best, you will bump your nose either way. Thankfully,” he added, putting his hand up to his chest, “I've done it enough times that I'm comfortable in my ability. Shall we try?” he asked, holding his breath as he looked up at Laios. “If you want to stop here, I will understand.”
“What, no!” Laios took a deep breath. “No, no, let's do this. It's okay. Actually,” he added, stroking his cheek, “I'm kind of glad that my first kiss is with you, even if it's just for practice. It's so nice of you to help me. I hope it won't be too horrible.”
Without a word, Kabru cupped his cheeks and pulled him down slightly. He lowered his eyelids so far that his eyes would seem closed, but he continued to watch Laios through his eyelashes. He tilted his head slightly to account for both of their noses and his lips met Laios', surprisingly soft and warm, and just a little chapped. Laios relaxed into the kiss, closing his eyes, but didn't kiss back or touch him at all. Slowly, Kabru pulled away, looking into Laios' eyes.
“How do you feel, Your Majesty?”
Laios gulped. “Sorry I froze up. It was really nice,” he said, tapping his fingertips together, “but I feel like I messed up.”
Kabru laughed. “I wouldn't say that you messed up,” he said in a soothing voice. “For your first try, it's much better than I expected.” He cleared his throat. “Though, of course, you do know that you're supposed to kiss back, right? Just a little bit of pressure is enough.”
“Oh, right.” Laios furrowed his brow. “Can I try again? I'll do it better this time!”
Kabru gulped. “Sure.”
Just like before, their lips met. Kabru cupped Laios' cheeks, but Laios didn't return the favour. His hands hovered awkwardly at his sides. They would have to deal with this later, Kabru thought. He felt relieved when Laios' lips pressed against his. He really was quite an obedient boy. This was probably a good sign for the future. Kabru pulled away and smiled at him.
“Good work, my liege. You're improving quickly. I told you that you could catch up in no time, didn't I?” He laughed softly, patting Laios' cheek. “If you want to stop here for the day, we can.”
“Actually,” Laios said, and hesitated for a moment. He inhaled sharply and looked anywhere except at Kabru. “Could we keep doing this for a little bit? I think I'm getting better at it, and it feels much nicer than I thought it would, so...” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Only if you don't mind!”
A smile danced on Kabru's lips. “Of course. I don't mind at all.”