Chapter Text
A branch cracks beneath his boot and Mafuyu tenses – alert for any people that may be nearby. While he has earned enough authority to avoid getting into any trouble, he’d rather not have to answer any bothersome questions about why he’s out at this hour.
The almost full moon illuminates his path just enough that he can pick his way through the grove of trees leading up to a shrine. Ever since Mafuyu has heard the faint notes of a melody drifting along the wind, he’s been tracking down the source. Judging by the volume increase, he must be getting closer.
Once Mafuyu enters the clearing, he spots a woman with long white hair, eyes closed and singing to a statue of what must be the Goddess. Mafuyu is not particularly devout – his main duty is to protect and defend – and not recite the scriptures or participate in the rites.
Carefully, as to not disturb the singer, Mafuyu eases himself onto a stone bannister, content to observe for now. The song is haunting – there’s bright notes interspersed with long, drawn out verses. Something about it latches on and resonates with him to his core. It’s an odd song to sing to a being as lofty as the Goddess. Still, Mafuyu leans back and closes his eyes, letting the music wash over him.
“Did you come to pray?”
Mafuyu opens his eyes to the priestess standing over him, brow knit in confusion. He didn’t mean to get caught like this, so he takes his time to regard the priestess before answering, “Is singing at this time customary for worship?”
The priestess frowns. “I asked my question first.”
“I heard you singing after retiring from my post. I decided to investigate the source.” Mafuyu shrugs.
The priestess gives a dainty curtsy. “I apologize if my actions have caused a public disturbance.”
“They haven’t. I’m more curious about the answer to my question.”
“...You’re very persistent, sir knight. But no, it isn’t,” the priestess answers.
“Then why do you sing?”
The priestess settles down beside Mafuyu and neatly folds her hands. “To practice. It’s said that the better the singer, the more likely the Goddess will answer the prayer.”
His family only gave cursory thanks to the Goddess – they always scolded Mafuyu to only expect results from his own two hands and feet. There was little point to expecting divine intervention, they said. Even with his lack of knowledge, the priestess’s actions are odd.
“Is your current singing inadequate? It did not seem that way, unless the Goddess requires a truly exceptional caliber of talent,” Mafuyu queries.
The priestess shakes her head, an odd smile on her face. “The head priestess says that I have excellent singing.”
Ah, she avoided mentioning her own opinion of her singing. “Forgive me for not asking earlier, but may I inquire what your name is?” Mafuyu says graciously.
“My name is Kanade, and I’m the head priestess in training. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”
“Head priestess in training? That’s rather impressive. My name is Mafuyu, knight commander of His Majesty’s forces.”
Kanade chuckles lightly. “I would say the title of knight commander is more impressive, Sir Mafuyu.”
Mafuyu waves a hand dismissively. “With enough training and skill, anyone can rise to the status of knight commander. In comparison, my understanding is that only a select few people are eligible to become priestesses, let alone head priestess in training.”
“You’re correct, but it is only a matter of luck. Priestesses are selected based on their closeness to the Goddess and then trained in the rituals.”
“I see. It has been pleasant conversing with you, Kanade. It is getting late for me, however, and I must retire to bed soon. Will you be here tomorrow at this time?”
Kanade smiles. “I usually am.”
“I didn't expect to see you again, Sir Mafuyu,” Kanade comments, curtsying upon Mafuyu’s arrival.
It had been a particularly rigorous day, putting down multiple disputes, one of which involved a noble. Conflicts that involved nobles were always a hassle to handle, being very demanding and either attempting to bribe themselves out of punishment or demanding harsher consequences for the other party that went beyond the laws. Sometimes they got their way, too.
Mafuyu lets himself have this though, and his mouth quirks. “The word of a knight is as good as an oath.”
Admittedly, Mafuyu himself was also surprised to find himself here. The first time could be construed as a mere whim, but the second time lent itself to pointing at some sort of intent.
Kanade smiles. “I suppose it is.”
“What is the song that you always sing here?”
“Oh, it’s called the Echoes of Dawn and Dusk.”
“What is it about?”
“It’s about the cycle of life, death and rebirth. Of farewells and new beginnings.”
“It seems like a rather solemn piece to sing to the Goddess.”
Kanade’s eyes trail up to the statue. “The Goddess is said to be the watcher of all, that we are mere souls trapped in a cycle of reincarnation. Reincarnation is not a gentle process.”
“Then what do you pray to the Goddess for?”
“For this life to be a good one, and for the next life to be better,” Kanade answers simply.
Mafuyu scoffs. “I don’t believe in anything foolish such as reincarnation. There’s no proof that we will have any sort of existence past this one. The only thing we should focus on is what we can do here and now.”
Kanade smiles. “If you said that aloud in some social circles, they could have you executed or posted in an undesirable location.”
“Is the head priestess in training going to report me to my superiors?” Mafuyu says, a lilt in his voice.
“I think this priestess will invoke sudden deafness. There is no infraction to be reported to anyone.” Kanade’s mouth twitches.
Mafuyu finds himself smirking. “I owe you my undying loyalty for your restraint. I give oath that if you are ever in need, I shall do all I can to assist.”
Kanade’s eyes light up. “In that case, I call upon your oath for a task, for I am in dire need.”
Mafuyu gallantly gets down on one knee, making an exaggerated sweeping bow. “And what may that task be, Milady Kanade?”
“You must sing with me.”
“Wha-” Mafuyu glances up in surprise. “Sing?”
“Learn this song of mine, and the oath will be fulfilled.”
Mafuyu exhales in amusement. “Very well then. May I ask why this task in particular?”
“I think your voice is lovely, Sir Mafuyu. It would be a waste if you never sang.”
Mafuyu stands back up. “Since I have given my word, it shall be.”
Kanade giggles, the bright lively sound echoing in the secluded area. Mafuyu thinks that he wants to burn the sound into his memory and replay it over and over.
This is worth it. Not much gives him joy, but something about seeing the priestess – Kanade – happy also gives rise to something vibrant within him too.
Mafuyu smiles. “Teach me the first verse.”
Kanade obliges, and soon enough his voice is joined with hers, filling the ritual area with a haunting melody.
It becomes a bad habit, showing up every night at this location. Mafuyu has refused any assignments that would interfere with his meeting with Kanade, much to the chagrin of the Grandmaster. The Grandmaster indulged him anyway – due to his long history of exemplary service.
He’s picked up the Goddess’s songs quite quickly. It’s similar to learning the motions of swordplay for the first time. Both require good breath control and visualizing the next several steps to create a perfect execution.
After a long practice session with Kanade, Mafuyu leans back against a short wall, gazing at the Goddess statue. In all the imagery Mafuyu has seen, sometimes the deity is shown to be in the midst of singing, sometimes she is holding a cherry blossom branch – but the Goddess is always depicted as a fairly young maiden with long flowing hair.
“Was being a knight what you always wanted?” Kanade interrupts his musings.
“Knight commander,” Mafuyu corrects her.
Kanade assents, “Knight commander then.”
“I don’t know if I would say I wanted to.”
“Then why did you become one?” Kanade inquires.
Mafuyu sighs. “As you know, becoming a knight is one of the highest honors. I come from a commoner family, and my parents insisted that this was the best path for all of us.”
“It must be hard for you.”
“It’s what’s best for my family.” Mafuyu states. Perhaps his tone was too harsh, after seeing Kanade fall into a contemplative silence.
“...My mother was once in line to become the head priestess.” Kanade explains.
“I’ve never heard anything about that before,” Mafuyu comments. Although if he had thought about it, the current head priestess is very old for her position.
A pained look crosses Kanade’s face. “It’s because she left her position to be with my father and raise me.”
Ah. Priestesses certainly were not allowed to wed another nor bear a child – believed to be an ill omen the more one strayed from the Goddess’s likeness. Something that Kanade had informed him in one of their previous meetings, in fact.
“Is that why you're here then, to atone for your mother?”
Kanade breaks eye contact, looking at the statue herself now. “No one forced me to. I chose this.”
Mafuyu lightly scoffs. “I don't believe you.”
“The townspeople say that it could have been acceptable that my mother was wed. But after I…” Her voice shudders. “I couldn't bear to see my family suffer anymore.”
Mafuyu doesn’t have any right to criticize her. After all, was she not doing what he was – just in a different way? Still, Mafuyu forces himself to ask, “Are you happy?”
“I am.” A smile stretches across Kanade's mouth, and even he can tell it's merely a facade.
Mafuyu gracefully chooses to believe it though. “That's good to hear.”
“Are you happy?” Kanade asks, firing his previous question back.
“I wasn't,” Mafuyu admits, “I'm still not. But it's…easier these days.”
Kanade's smile turns genuine, “I know what you mean.”
They spend the rest of their time together, silently taking in each other’s company. The sliver of the moon, carved into a smile, kindly shines down upon them.
Ever since Mafuyu memorized the last song, they’ve spent less time practicing together, and more time simply being. Sometimes they would make excursions into the surrounding trees, sometimes they would sing together regardless, and sometimes – like now – they would merely sit together chatting about the day or anything else that came to mind.
The grass feels soft and ever so slightly damp from the day’s light rain. Fortunately, Mafuyu only had morning duties today, dodging the rain and allowing him to shed his cumbersome armor later in favor of a tunic. He’s close enough to Kanade to reach out and take her hand, but it would be unbecoming of him as a knight to initiate with one such as a priestess.
“After you become head priestess, then what?” Mafuyu asks.
Kanade gives Mafuyu a knowing look. “Then perhaps I could forgive myself.”
“You don’t need forgiveness. You had no say in the matter.”
“Even still, it is my sin to bear,” Kanade says solemnly.
This argument never goes anywhere – he’s never able to convince Kanade otherwise. “I don’t believe that I will have the opportunity to rise past my current position, so I was curious,” Mafuyu instead says.
Kanade appears to take it as the peace offering that it is, and laughs lightly. “I doubt that. It seems the Grandmaster is fond of you.”
“He’s not fond of anyone.”
“Even I’ve heard the rumors of his legendary strictness,” Kanade points out, “yet from the stories you’ve told me, he lets you do things that he would punish others for.”
The thought that the Grandmaster has been lenient on Mafuyu creates an uncomfortable knot in his stomach. “It must be that he thinks I have less ability then, to even warrant reining in.”
Kanade is unperturbed though. “I think it’s more that he intends for you to take over his position one day.”
“For a commoner to rise to Grandmaster is unprecedented. It would not go without incident.”
It had been hard enough already, to become a knight initially. Mafuyu had to prove, beyond any doubt, that he was capable and could serve His Majesty well. It was also why standing and reputation had rained down upon his family after he rose to knight commander.
“You are quite unprecedented. I believe you are capable of weathering through any issues too,” warmth sparks in Kanade’s gaze. Her hand inches closer to his.
“If someone in such high esteem as you believes so, I suppose I must make it true,” Mafuyu replies, resting his hand on top of Kanade’s.
Kanade leans into him, sharing her body heat and impossibly warm. Side by side, they watch the fireflies dance at the edges of the clearing until the last specks of moonlight fade.
The Grandmaster’s office is rather severe in aesthetics for the amount of wealth he must possess – there are maps neatly tucked away on a shelf, the desk lacking elaborate carvings, and sturdy, well-built chairs with just enough cushioning to ward off any aches. It’s something admirable to Mafuyu, that the Grandmaster has deliberately chosen to aim for practicality rather than opulence. Money was not something that flowed in his household, and such luxuries would have been frowned upon.
“I have a new assignment for you.” The Grandmaster sits at his desk calmly, ink and quill in hand.
“What is it, Sir?” Mafuyu respectfully salutes.
“You are to be deployed on the frontlines. We need you to suppress the invaders on our Northern border.”
“How long would this assignment be?” If it was simply a temporary stint, then –
“His Majesty and I anticipate that this will become an all-out war. The assignment duration will be in the order of years, and you will need to leave in the next few days.”
With each word from the Grandmaster, Mafuyu feels his heart sink. No more late nights with Kanade, talking and singing without a care in the world. No more seeing Kanade’s soft smile, or bright laugh, or–
“Is there no one else qualified to take this assignment?” Mafuyu asks. He could still call upon favors and debts if he needed to – he’s lent a helping hand to almost everyone at this point. There was a chance still, if a substitution was allowed.
The Grandmaster sighs. “There is no one else, unfortunately. The others I trust don’t have the skill, and people who have the skill are not completely trustworthy.”
“I see,” Mafuyu responds. There’s nothing he can do, then.
“I’ve already given you the remaining days off, if that is any consolation. I recommend you use the time to settle any remaining affairs.” The Grandmaster lingers on the last few words, staring intently at Mafuyu.
He numbly nods. “It will be done, Grandmaster.”
It’s not their appointed time, nor their usual place. But Mafuyu’s footsteps lead him to a church, complete with stained glass windows depicting the Goddess’s image, with a shock of green for the hair. Mafuyu had asked Kanade why this was the case, and she had responded that it was probably because the color was tied to rebirth. Mafuyu privately thinks that it was just to make the Goddess seem more “otherworldly”, to separate her from all the mere, poor mortals.
Pushing through the heavy wooden doors, Mafuyu causes a few heads to turn in his direction. Ignoring their gazes, he finds an empty seat on a pew towards the back. It’s not the greatest spot for Mafuyu’s purposes, but the view was secondary to one thing.
Kanade, dressed in a flowing shimmering dress and her arms outstretched, as if welcoming all who were there in song.
Mafuyu has seen Kanade underneath the moonlight, when her silvery white hair seems to be made out of moonbeams themselves. When her face is often half obscured. When she seemed…mortal. Human. Something equally soft and flawed at the same time.
Now, while earnestly performing her duties, Kanade can only be described as angelic. Heavenly. Sunlight streams through the high glass windows behind her, illuminating her in a golden aura.
So this is the head priestess in training.
At this very moment, Mafuyu doubts anyone would call the priestess anything less than divine.
Perhaps the night makes them both honest. Perhaps it strips them both of the faces and roles they held underneath the sunlight. Under the moonlit shadow of the Goddess statue, they are not priestess and knight, but Kanade and Mafuyu.
And perhaps that’s why Mafuyu slowly trudges to their usual spot – not unlike their first meeting, but he muses, for entirely different reasons.
Kanade is expectedly here, still at their usual time and location – well after most have retired to bed, and underneath the gracious gaze of the Goddess statue.
He should get this over with.
“This will be our last meeting,” Mafuyu states.
Kanade opens her eyes at that, wariness creeping into her expression. “What happened?”
“We still haven't gotten found out yet,” Mafuyu answers, “But you should have heard about the hostilities emerging around our northern border.”
Kanade tilts her head in agreement.
“I was assigned to lead the knights there to fend off the invaders.”
Kanade’s eyes widen ever so briefly. “That's a dangerous task, isn't it? Even for you.”
“It is,” Mafuyu confirms.
The words hang between them, heavy in the night breeze. They're both still, standing and staring at each other, taking measure of the other.
Mafuyu steps closer to Kanade, head tilted downward and sighs. “It was never meant to be.”
A single tear trails down Kanade’s cheek, and Mafuyu resists the urge to wipe it away. There was simply no point in endearing himself further to her. It would only make the parting worse.
“You are the head priestess in training, and I am a knight commander. There would be no way for us to be together without neglecting our respective duties. Our current arrangement was always temporary,” Mafuyu says mechanically.
“Even so, I’m allowed to grieve.” Kanade smiles sadly. “...I think I understand my parents better now – why they did it.”
If he and Kanade ran away…They could escape into the neighboring country and settle down. They could go far enough away where no one would know who they were. Mafuyu could find some manual labor to earn them money. Or maybe he could privately tutor a noble’s kid in swordsmanship – his skills were good enough for that. They could settle down with that money. He would go home to Kanade every day. They could even –
Pain brings him out of his fanciful imagination. He must’ve clenched his fist too hard – his nails digging into his palm.
“We shouldn’t repeat the same mistakes,” Mafuyu says in a low voice.
Kanade closes her eyes, seemingly steeling her resolve. “No, we shouldn't. This is greater than any one of us.”
Mafuyu has a duty to his family. He has sworn an oath to protect his country. He could never abandon them. What was a selfish desire compared to a looming war? Or in Kanade’s case, appeasing the Goddess?
Still, Mafuyu is allowed to want. To desire. Just not grasp for himself.
“...If this goddess of yours truly answers prayers, I think these circumstances would necessitate it.”
Kanade smiles gently at him. “I’ll pray for us then. The Goddess will surely answer it. Will you sing with me, one last time?”
Mafuyu takes her hand and moves beside her. As the bittersweet melody leaves his lips, Mafuyu closes his eyes and silently prays.
Goddess, I don’t believe that you exist. I don't even believe in a life after this one. But, I’m willing to try here and now. If you can hear me, please grant this one wish. Let Kanade and I meet in our next life, and all lives after.