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Carter slowly entered the recovery room, which seemed darker than usual. Almost spooky. He was immediately reminded that Curtain 3 was set the same way when he found Lucy: the lights out, only a small trace of blood on the floor, the sense that something wasn’t right. It was unsettling.
But then he stopped himself and tried to empathize with how Lucy was feeling. She probably found the darkened room to be just as scary, if not more so, as she tried to absorb what had happened to her and just how close she’d come to dying.
He approached her bed. Sure enough, she was lying motionless, with a trach in her neck, and staring straight ahead. She was still pale from the blood loss, and her blonde hair looked tangled and had streaks of blood. He gently took her hand and saw that her fingernails had a hint of blue, as did her lips. Although she’d had multiple blood transfusions, it would still be a while before her color came back.
“I talked to Dr. Corday,” he began. “You are very lucky to be here right now.”
She gestured to a notepad sitting at her bedside table, and he handed it to her.
I know, the paper read when she turned it back over toward him.
“I watched the surgery for a little bit,” he continued to explain. “Benton tried to tell me I wasn’t in a position to do so and needed to go wait for news like the rest of the staff. I didn’t listen, of course, because I tend to not. He was right, though. I decided to see myself out about halfway through. It was a lot. But you don’t care about that.”
That time, she just closed her eyes and breathed heavily in response. He couldn’t tell whether she agreed with his last sentence or was trying to assure him not to worry, but he figured he could keep talking.
“We got a hold of your mom. It’ll be a while before she can get here; she said she needs to try and find the first flight out. I won’t talk about your injuries; it sounds like you already got the scoop.”
Yeah. I just want my mom. Glad she’s coming.
“Lucy, look, there’s something I want to say. I would’ve never ignored you about Paul if I’d known it would come to this. Of course, it’s hard to predict something like this happening, especially when you worked hard to get him to trust you. I know you were handling this the best you could. But I failed you, and psych failed you, and we need to own up to that. There’s no excuse for your attack. I won’t unload my feelings on you, but I want you to know that I do care and I’ll do whatever it takes to be here for you now as you start bouncing back from this.
“It’s going to be a long road. After this, you’ll have to stay in the ICU for a while. Then a step-down unit before going home. And there’s no telling how long it will be until you can work again. I know that sucks, especially since you’re so close to graduation. That said, this is the last time I’ll ever think about blowing you off, as long as you want me around that is.”
Thank you.
“I’m sorry,” Carter finished. “I really am.”
It’s OK.
Then, she looked up at his hand and tried to reach for it, but realized she couldn’t with all the equipment around her bed.
“Here, let me help.” Carter gently rested her arm down and then took her hand. “You let me know how long you want to sit like this. I’ll stay as long as you need.”
She nodded, indicating that it worked for her and he didn’t need to let go for now. After all, she’d been oriented enough in Curtain 3 to see him trying to do first aid and hear him calling for a trauma team.
Even though he wasn’t the one who had been brutally stabbed, he felt some survivor’s guilt anyway. Still, it seemed she didn’t hold his mistakes against him and just cared about resting and getting better.
There would be more time to talk later. But for now, it was time for both of them to recuperate. Now, the darkness felt almost calming, a sign they needed to be thankful that Lucy was alive and could slowly but surely pick up the pieces and put her life back together.