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There was nothing in this world Tyler hated more than being separated from his sister. Nothing.
He’d broken his collarbone once in a particularly rough baseball practice, it was the worst pain he’s ever been in. But he’d take it multiplied by ten if it meant his sister could be by his side right then.
The carpet in their shared bedroom was worn thin. Their apartment wasn’t necessarily expensive, and Tyler always had the habit of pacing when he was anxious. The combination of these two things meant almost all the carpet in the house was flimsy, something his mom used to complain about until Dad passed away. She never cared about anything too much after that.
He walked the short distance to the window, taking a second to memorize all the features of Taylor’s cheesy action figures that sat on the windowsill before turning around to stride towards the door. Once he reached it, he tapped it three times with his pointer and middle finger and turned on his heel, heading back towards the window.
He lost track of how long he’d been doing this. Even though he checked his phone every ten minutes, he only focused on the little notification box next to Taylor’s smiling face, not the time. When he started, the sun was out and streaming through the window, now the sky was black and the room was dark. His legs were sore and his fingers were cramping, but he couldn’t stop.
Taylor promised she’d text him before she went to bed, and he needed to be ready when the message finally came.
She was away on a two-day mechanics convention that wasn’t even out of town. Logically, he could walk to the hotel she was staying at if he really needed to. He was trying to hold back for her sake, she’d always been better at separation than he was. It was probably because he spent a good while of his childhood looking after her, making sure she was alright, taking care of her when she was hurt, cooking, holding, loving, trying and constantly failing to fill the gaping hole Dad left.
Tap tap tap , he tried shaking his thoughts out with his fingers, it wasn’t working. Mom should be asleep by now, she was usually out before the sun even set. On his way back to the window, he stared at the moon, which was just barely visible over the roof of the neighboring apartment building. It was full. His steps slowed so he could admire it a bit longer. The permanent crease between his eyebrows relaxed a fraction when his face was basked in the luminescent glow of the floating rock. Just when he was about to halt completely, his phone buzzed.
He was standing in front of the bunkbeds and snatching his phone off the bottom bunk before he knew what was happening. The crease returned to his face when he saw no notification from Taylor, and it multiplied when he saw one from Aiden. Annoyed, he opened the chat.
Idiot: Hey, u good?
He grunted in confusion and aggressively typed out a reply, slowly sitting on the bed. His legs cried in relife.
Me: wdym??
The reply was instant.
Idiot: ik Tay is away. And ik how u get.
Any kindness he could have given was wiped away at the second sentence, familiar anger flooding his veins. He made sure the text was left on read before closing the app. He started motioning to stand when his phone buzzed again. Then again. He was getting a call.
He was half hoping it would be his sister but he knew who it was. He stared at the infuriating smiling face of the fake blonde before pressing the green button.
“What?”
“Hey Ty!” Aiden’s voice sounded through the phone loud enough for him to double check if it was on speaker phone. “I’m on my way over! Thought I’d give you a heads up.”
It took him a second to register that. When he did, he flew up into a standing position. “You’re what ?”
“Yeah… I was bored out of my mind earlier so I was laying on my bed, just thinking. Then I realized I’ve never been to your house! Ben’s sleeping already like a grandpa so he can’t entertain me, so you’re up!” The game show host tone that Aiden adapted to convey that last part made his skin itch with irritation.
“No.” Tyler deadpanned. He hoped it was enough to communicate his complete resistance, but knowing Aiden that wouldn’t matter.
“Too late, I’m outside!”
“You’re what ?” He repeated.
Just then, two energetic knocks sounded from the front door and the phone hung up. Tyler stood there for a moment, contemplating the best course of action. His head hung low until his eyes landed on the bright moon that entranced him moments before. He looked to it again, this time for guidance.
No rarely worked with Aiden. He was too impulsive and wild, so he was better off just ignoring him. Then again, he didn’t want him to keep knocking and waking up his mom because that’s an absolute no-no . She was a pretty heavy sleeper but even she wasn’t immune to Aiden’s never ending energy.
So he had to approach this carefully. Another two sharp knocks snapped his attention away from the beautiful moon and towards the bedroom door. On the other side was the hallway that led to the living room, then to the front door, and on the other side of that was Aiden.
He took a deep breath and checked the time for the first time that day. The bright digital transformers themed clock told him it was 7:21 from the bed stand. Maybe Aiden would just leave? He’d never been one to give up, they were alike in that regard, but maybe the universe would go easy on him this one time?
Another loud knock. Tyler groaned.
He opened the bedroom door and walked hastily to the front one. The last thing he needed was for his mom to wake up, that’d be too much for one night. He swung the piece of wood open and was met with the smiley one in their group, sporting that same ridiculously expensive brand he’s always wearing. One of his pale hands was held up as if to knock again and the other was clutching the handlebars of a bike, how Tyler guessed he got there so quickly.
“You are an idiot, you know that? A very invasive one.”
“I’ve heard that before.” With that, Aiden tried to shoulder past him and into his home. The same home his mother was in and Taylor wasn’t.
Tyler shut the other down instantly by shoving him back out. “I said no .”
The blonde stumbled back and looked up at him almost nervously, “What?”
“You’re not coming in my house, I told you that already. Do you not listen?” The real reason he didn’t want Aiden in his house wasn’t because he was embarrassed or anything stupid like that. It was because it just felt wrong. His house, no matter how small or cluttered, was his . It belonged to him and his sister, his mother and his father. His dad may be gone but that only solidified their privacy. Taylor and him never had friends over, were never the hosts of any event or volunteered their house up. Because in all of the uncertainty in this world, all of the curveballs life loved to throw at them, they had the one constant of their home. That and his sister.
“But you’re not gonna leave, are ya’?” Tyler leaned against the doorframe and tried to look as casual as possible. It was hard with how much his mind was reeling, how much he wished he took his phone with him. Taylor could be texting him. She might need him-
“Not without you, no.” Aiden’s smile went from hesitant to beaming. “So I can come in?”
“No chance. Wait here.” Without looking back he turned and shut the door. Aiden tried to refute something but it got lost the instant Tyler left him there. He crossed the short distance to his room and pulled the draw string bag he used for practice off the wall. He eyed the tacky logo, the bright red letters splayed across the fabric: Baseball Life!
He sighed and removed its contents. His cleats were dirty, and his mitt was getting too small. He’d been saving for a new one for a while, and he probably had enough but he hasn’t got around to actually purchasing it. The small tube of lotion he carried around to moisturize his hands when they started to peel was almost out. Not to mention he used it every time he didn’t know what to do with his hands, which was happening more and more.
The phantom realm did nothing to help his tendencies. It felt like the world was slipping between his fingers, and no matter how tight he squeezed them together, it still managed to slip through. Everything managed to escape him.
Taylor helped, she always did. That’s why he needed her, and she needed him just as much. It didn’t matter if they were twins and the same age, he had to be the responsible one. Both his mom and sister needed him to be the reliable one.
The thought of his sister had him grabbling for his phone from the sheets. He quickly pressed the side button to turn it on and-
Nothing.
He checked the time again. It was 7:30. Surly she should be going to bed by now, right? It was a school field trip, after all. He didn’t care if it made him look clingy or whatever, he needed to know she was alright.
Me: Hey Tay, you okay? Lemme know when ur going to bed, k?
He pressed the send button and stared at the message for a while. After a few seconds of contemplation, he thumbed the keyboard again.
Me: :)
Satisfied, he shoved his phone into the draw string bag, along with some stray clothes that were arrayed around the room. Taking a quick trip to the bathroom, he snatched his toothbrush and other necessities before heading back to the front door.
“Sorry for the wait.” He wasn’t really sorry, both he and Aiden knew it. But he also knew Aiden appreciated meaningless pleasantries, and well- anything meaningless, really.
Aiden was doing a headstand facing him right in front of the doormat. When he realized the door was open, he smiled bright and looked up to him, which made him lose his concentration and topple over to the side.
“Finally!” He said as he righted himself. “I was just about to knock again, and if that didn’t work I was gonna keep trying windows till I found the one you were in.”
“Of course you were.” Tyler replied tiredly. He pulled his house keys off of the hook next to the door before shutting it behind him. He turned away from Aiden, who was standing and approaching him leisurely.
“So… I’m coming inside-”
“No. I’m going with you.” Once the door was locked he turned to finally meet Aiden’s gaze, only to find him completely frozen. The view of Aiden paused in front of him, one arm extended and smile turned awkward was enough to make him huff out a laugh.
The blonde comically shook his head. “Coming… with me. To where?”
Tyler double checked the lock one more time and faced Aiden completely. “To your house.” Aiden was still lagging, so he beat him to it and walked the two steps to where his bike was propped up against the railing. “How’d you get my address?”
“Tay told me.” Aiden unpaused himself but he still looked awkward. “I forgot the number, though. I ended up at the wrong door and scared the hell out of some grandma.”
Tyler just smiled, pulling the motorized bike that was probably worth more than all his saved money off the railing and wheeled it toward the street. When Aiden didn’t immediately follow him, he looked back and cocked his head with a stern face. After casting a confused look to the locked door, Aiden finally got the hint and followed after him.
“I’m lost.” Aiden drawled when he finally caught up to Tyler. “I thought-”
“You thought wrong.” Tyler cut him off, not making eye contact. He kept his focus on the black nothing in front of him. The cold air was a stark contrast to the stuffy warm climate from the apartment, and it did a better job of grounding him.
They finally reached the street when Aiden snatched the bike from Tyler’s warm hands. Their fingers brushed, Aiden’s cool fingertips sent a shiver down Tyler’s spine.
“Explain, please.” Aiden was still smiling, of course, but his eyes were far from joyful. There was something painfully pleading about them that made Tyler’s heart squeeze. “Why are we leaving?”
“I…” Tyler couldn’t take Aiden’s beautiful eyes anymore so he stared at the pavement below them. It was almost silent around them, except for the crickets and trees rustling. It reminded him bluntly of the Phantom Realm, just a lot less eerie. “I don’t want to be home. Not without…”
He felt his face heat up despite the cold. He was embarrassed. He was ashamed. And the fact Aiden was seeing him like that made it worse.
“What did you do today?”
The abrupt change of topic made him look up. Aiden looked genuinely curious, but also sad. Tyler understood the underlying question deep in his bones.
How bad was it?
“Nothing.”
Bad.
Aiden nodded, his eyes gleaming with understanding. Tyler looked to the side of the road, watching as it disappeared into nothing in both directions. The cold was starting to get to him and he clutched his arms.
“Well-” Aiden climbed on his stupidly expensive bike. “Hop on! I’ll show you a good time, baby.”
Aiden winked and grinned snarkily, looking at him expectantly. Tyler lifted his head to the moon, which was now much clearer from outside. It seemed lower than normal and very yellow. He wondered if Taylor was looking at the same moon, admiring its beauty like he was. She always liked all things astronomy, her and Logan were able to bond over it. She’d ramble to him for hours about the math aspect of it, connecting it to machines and her club. He’d nod and repeat the same responses over and over to annoy her until she asked if he was even listening, and he’d reply that of course he was, he listened to every word she said.
He bit his lip as his eyes stung and walked towards Aiden and his bike. His head hung low, so he couldn’t see if Aiden kept up the flirty chauffeur act, but knowing him, he didn’t. He swung his bag over his shoulder and tried to not eat concrete climbing behind Aiden. Two metal bars jutted out of the back wheel and those were his footholds. To balance himself, he placed one hand on each of Aiden’s shoulders. He knew from experience to crouch to make himself more streamline. Aiden was far from a careful driver.
“Everyone aboard?” It took a few moments for Tyler to realize he was waiting for an answer.
He rolled his eyes. “Yes.”
Aiden gripped his handlebars tighter and lowered himself. “Please keep all hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times, and remember: enjoy the moment.”
Tyler didn’t have time to question that last part before they were gone . He was pretty sure Aiden asked Taylor to tweak the engine or something because nothing with two wheels should be able to accelerate as much as they did. He had to wrap an arm around Aiden and pull close so as to not fall off. The contact made his skin heat up but he ignored it and instead chose to close his eyes tight and listen to the wind rush by.
“I said enjoy the ride!” Aiden yelled over the fast moving air. “That means sit up, open your eyes, and experience!”
He was tempted to throw Aiden off, knowing that would crash them both. He didn’t do it, thankfully. Any bruises he got would just worry Taylor. So, he pulled away as much as he could from Aiden without risking falling off and squinted.
A whole lot of nothing met his gaze. It was much too dark to make anything out, and they were going way too fast to focus on anything long enough to see what it was. They were passing through a residential area, but the houses were so few and far between that it looked mostly like overgrown farmland. This would carry on for a little less than a mile and then they’d be where Aiden, Ben, and Ashlyn lived.
Sharp laughter snapped his attention to the boy in front of him.
“What’s so funny?” He was sure his question got lost to the wind but Aiden answered anyway.
“Nothing! I just love doing fun things with the people I love.”
Tyler grumbled about how this was far from fun, blatantly ignoring what the second part of that statement implied.
After Aiden’s indirect confession, zooming past the rest of the distance was a blur. Tyler allowed himself to lean a little more forward than necessary, soaking up as much of Aiden’s heat he could steal. Tyler slipped a hoodie on before he left but the cold was piercing, and Aiden just felt so safe. He was a temporary haven from the uncertainty, the cruelty of this world.
_____
Tyler stood with one leg propped on the insultingly large house behind him and crossed his arms to quell his shaking. He tried to look as unbothered as possible. “Just leave it and unlock this door.”
“Hell no!” Aiden has been wrestling with the same complex lock for the past ten minutes, trying to attach his bike to a pole. “If I lose another bike my parents will cut off my allowance.”
Tyler sighed and rolled his whole head. “Why don’t you have a lock you actually understand then?”
Aiden didn’t answer, seemingly too focused on trying to get the metal bar of the lock around the rungs of his bike while not losing his grip on either. It didn’t seem to be going well.
After another ten minutes, both the lock and bike clattered to the floor for the twelfth time and Aiden stood abruptly. “If it gets stolen, I’ll just tell mother I gave it to a homeless person.” He turned and started towards Tyler and the house, “She has a soft spot for stuff like that.”
“Very honest of you.” Tyler turned towards the door as Aiden approached, watching him insert his house key and play with the lock. “Just bring it inside.”
“And risk father finding out I had a bike in the house? Absolutely not.” Aiden walked inside and Tyler followed suit. The house looked the same from the last hundred times he’d been there: orderly and clean. Even Aiden’s room wasn’t safe from the clean-cut organization of the rest of the house, which unsettled Tyler to no end.
He made his way through the living room, making a beeline to Aiden’s room. “How would he know? Aren’t they gone for another month?”
Aiden’s pace faltered along with his smile. “I think… I think they got cameras, but I don’t know.”
He stopped in the middle of the staircase. “Cameras?”
Aiden didn’t stop with him, though. He pushed past Tyler and into the hallway. “Yeah.” He whispered.
That information made his skin crawl. From the little information he had, and he meant a little , Tyler didn’t like Aiden’s parents. For one, they were never there, always leaving their already unstable son to his own devices. Sure, Ben was there, but there was only so much he could do to tame the over energized adrenaline junkie that was Aiden Clark.
Another thing was how weird they were with how and where they decided to insert their parental dominance . They hung his allowance over his head like a carrot to a pig, knowing damn well that was the only affection they bothered to give him. They’d randomly send him texts or give him calls, never to check up on him but to criticize him. I was looking at some photos, I’d really wish you’d stop dying your hair. It looks ridiculous. You better not be breaking any more dishes. If you even think about dirtying that house you’ll have another thing coming for you when we get back.
We don’t like those friends of yours .
Aiden was good at ignoring them, or at least it looked like he did. He always smiled that same smile and laughed without humor, talking about how they’re always like that. That did almost nothing to calm Tyler, though.
“Ty? You comin’?” He was already at the end of the hallway, standing outside his room.
“Mhm.” Tyler walked the rest of the distance to meet Aiden. He learned to not ask questions, to not push. Aiden knew it too, that’s why he let him come here in the first place. It was like they were constantly walking on eggshells around each other, but neither of them did anything to stop it. It was comfortable to be undefined, and as much as Tyler hated uncertainty; Aiden was the exception. He didn’t know when that started but he’d rather get ripped apart by a phantom than let it stop.
_____
Taylor texted him back at 9:30. In that time, he and Aiden played fifteen levels of Super Mario Bros before they had to stop because Aiden accused him of cheating, almost lit Aiden’s bed on fire because he knocked over a candle and had two screaming fights and one physical one. Ben miraculously slept through all of this, his loud snoring penetrating through the walls.
“How…” Tyler questioned from his position on top of Aiden. He had his arms pinned with one hand and was using the other to jab his stomach.
Aiden was giggling while trying to push Tyler off. “He-He’s been training all day.” He managed between heavy breaths and laughs, “He got a new punching bag.”
Aiden freed one of his hands and immediately used it to tickle Tyler’s undefended ribs. The action caught him so off guard that he tumbled off of Aiden’s abdomen and stood so quick that his vision grayed. He was breathing hard, chest heaving and face hot. Aiden mirrored him from his spot on the floor, propped on his elbows. They stared at each other for a moment, dark brown on red, until his phone buzzed.
He was standing where his phone was charging next to Aiden’s bed in an instant.
Taylor: Sorry for not answering!! I was with some friends and wasn’t on my phone… But I’m going to try to sleep now! See you at 12!!! Love you <3333
The weight he’s been persistently aware of shedded off his shoulders. The feeling was so overwhelming that he didn’t pay mind to Aiden placing his chin on the crook of his neck and reading his texts. When two arms wrapped around his middle, he said nothing.
Me: Dw abt it. I was just checking in. See you. Luv u too.
“Ugh, I forgot about the phantom realm.” Aiden’s words were hot on his skin but he still didn’t move. Tyler wouldn’t admit to anyone that he actually liked the contact the blonde offered. He’d always shy away from it when they were around the others, but when they were alone, he let himself relish in it.
He leaned his head back onto Aiden’s shoulder and clicked his phone off, eyes falling closed. “How can you forget after all this time? Are you stupid?”
“A little, yeah.” The grip around his waist tightened.
There were a lot of words Tyler could use to describe Aiden. Psycho ? Check. Insane ? A tad. Durable ? Not as much as the boy claimed but sure. Soft was one he wouldn’t apply to him. But in these rare moments, the word slotted in perfectly.
Aiden used a little force to pull him towards his bed, Tyler let him. He fell back and felt Aiden’s hands push him down into a lying position, watching as the shorter boy climbed over him. The irony of their position didn’t miss him but when Aiden’s face lowered centimeters from his own, he lost track of the thought.
Their first kiss was during one of the sleepless nights after the phantom realm. They endured a pretty serious scare, they all decided to crash at Aiden and Ben’s place. None of them ended up sleeping, but just being in each other's company was enough.
Aiden excused himself to the bathroom and, for no particular reason, Tyler followed. They didn’t have a heartfelt conversation or dramatic confession, but it was evident they were both in need of assurance, and they found that in each other. It didn’t matter how hard or confusing life got because they had the one constant of the other’s lips, their hands, their touch, them .
I’ve got you, is what the touch felt like, no matter how bad it gets, you’ll always have me . Tyler wouldn’t say they were dating, but he knew they weren’t nothing. Aiden was the only one who knew about how much he relied on his sister, his tendencies, his darker habits. At least he was the only one who inserted himself into his mess and refused to budge. And Tyler was the only one Aiden trusted enough to complain about his parents. It was a fragile dynamic, but it worked well enough and they had been doing it long enough that it didn’t matter.
Aiden’s lips were chapped and his hair felt like straw as Tyler pulled him closer. A curious pale hand traveled under his shirt and stayed there. The coolness of the palm on his overheating skin made Tyler groan.
Suddenly, the pressure on his lips was gone. He opened his eyes to see Aiden looking off in the distance.
“We got two and a half hours.” Aiden was close enough that his breath ghosted Tyler’s lips, and when he turned back to face him head on, that fact became prominent. “Wanna try to sleep before… y’know?”
Tyler took in a deep breath through his nose, enjoying how his chest puffed up into Aiden’s. “You never sleep.”
“I’m not planin’ on it. But if you’re tired, I won’t keep ya’ up.” The LED strip lights that Aiden refused to turn off were set to purple. It made Aiden’s skin glow in a way Tyler didn’t understand, and his eyes that much more piercing.
“I’m not tired, I’ll sleep after the phantom bullshit.” He deadpanned. “Your roots are growing out, though. Want me to fix em’?” The hand that was already tangled in Aiden’s hair caressed his scalp ever so slightly, maneuvering his head so he could get a better look.
The kind-of blonde’s eyes widened, and Tyler could see the blush despite the lighting. “Yeah… that’d be nice.”
That’s how they found themselves in the oversized bathroom that was attached to Aiden’s room an hour before the switch, fighting over bleach.
“You didn’t use this one before!” Aiden’s smile slipped, something that happened more frequently the longer he hung out with him.
“I know that! That’s why I said this was a new brand. New . You don’t listen!” He emphasized that last part by hitting Aiden on the head repeatedly with the bleach bottle. “I would let you do it yourself but you’d destroy the hell out of your hair, and it’s already on the verge of falling out.”
“Fine, do what you want.” Aiden snatched the bottle from Tyler’s hands and jabbed his stomach with it. “Since you’re clearly the expert.”
He took the bottle back. “Yes, I am.”
The slowly-fading blonde sat backwards on the toilet seat while being a brat about his damaged hair. Tyler didn’t understand why he was always so difficult on this front; Tyler obviously knew more than he did about this. That didn’t stop Aiden from questioning everything, arguing about things that didn’t matter and physically attacking the one person that could save him from going bald.
He managed to bleach and tone Aiden’s scalp without any major issues, and of course the new brand he picked out worked perfectly, just like he knew it would.
“See? Did you really think I’d pick something that wouldn’t work?” He stood behind Aiden in the mirror. The now-fully-blonde was admiring himself, turning his head in all directions with a growing smile. “I’m fantastic, you don’t gotta say it.”
“You’re fantastic.” Aiden mumbled breathlessly. He turned around sharply, beaming, and wrapped his arms around his neck. “You’re the best! I love you!”
Aiden was the perfect height to speak directly into his neck, and it sent shivers down his spine. “Yeah, yeah-” His face was abnormally hot as he tried to shove Aiden off. “-let go of me!”
Aiden didn’t. If anything it seemed like he pulled himself closer. Tyler stopped resisting and just let it happen, allowing his head to fall forward on Aiden’s. The overhead light of the bathroom was getting to him, making his thoughts slow and head hurt. He also needed to wash his hands because they were starting to burn.
“It’s probably almost time.” Aiden mumbled against his collarbone.
Tyler didn’t respond. He didn’t want to risk giving away that he was looking forward to shifting. The phantom realm meant he got to see his sister again. He was almost certain that Aiden knew it already, knew that Tyler was sick enough in the head to count down the seconds to a literal demon dimension just to see his sister who he’s been separated from for less than a day. Against his will, his face contorted in disgust, he was appalled at himself and wanted nothing more than to wipe these traits off the face of the Earth.
“Ty.”
“Hm?”
“Bathtub.”
A few seconds of silence. “What?”
Aiden answered by delicately gripping his wrist, loose enough that Tyler could pull away if he wanted to, and leading him to the bathtub. The shower curtain got ruthlessly ripped to the side to make way for the two of them. Aiden stepped over first and eyed Tyler expectantly. With a groan, he too entered the bathtub. He watched Aiden fight with the shower curtain to get it to close, and when he finally did, he motioned for them to sit.
Once they were both sitting side-by-side in the tub, Aiden clapped his hands twice and the room went dark.
Tyler’s lip curled, “Of course your rich ass has clap lights.”
“Just had them installed.” Aiden responded with a cheeky grin. Tyler looked away.
The bathtub was more like a jacuzzi, one of those expensive ones you see in catalogs. The acrylic wasn't wet or sticky, meaning either Aiden uses a different shower or he hasn’t bathed in a while. He was leaning towards the former because the shorter boy never smelled, quite the opposite, he always smelled like a mix of pine needles and whatever cologne he used.
It was quiet until: “How long do you think we have left?”
Tyler shrugged, “Not long. It has to be past eleven thirty by now.”
The blonde scooted over so their arms were pressed together and waited, staring blankly ahead. With one last annoyed sigh, Tyler let his head fall on Aiden’s shoulder.
“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” Aiden whispered. A cold hand creeped up to hold the side of his face while Aiden’s head leaned down, sandwiching Tyler between the contact. “You’re allowed to worry about her.”
“There’s something wrong with me.” Tyler spit out. He removed himself from Aiden’s touch completely, sitting upright.
If Aiden looked dejected from losing the touch, Tyler couldn’t tell. His arms crossed as he leaned his body backwards, Tyler didn’t know how he managed to look comfortable no matter the situation. “I think there’s something wrong with everyone.” He said at last, “The only difference is that some people have people, and others are-”
Aiden pulled out palm and glared at it. Maybe Tyler was going crazy but it looked like he was focusing on his wrist through the sleeve of his hoodie. “-alone.”
As persistent as ever, Aiden filled up the space between them that Tyler just created. He came closer than before and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “What I’m saying is that you have someone, so please, don’t suffer alone.”
Tyler was an idiot when it came to his emotions. He has never in his life expressed his feelings correctly, even before his dad died and mom lost it. Taking up the role of the family caretaker so young didn’t help either, he could admit that at least.
Something that he learned about Aiden since getting to know him was that he wasn’t as dumb as he let on. Sure, a lot of the things he did were stupid, and he was convinced he was invincible to an extent, but his mind was a dark and interesting place. He was emotionally intelligent to a degree that Tyler couldn’t hope for, so when he said something so astounding like he just did, it left Tyler reeling for the weeks to come.
He didn’t answer, obviously, and he also ignored what the first part of that sentence implied. Alone? Aiden felt alone? Did that mean Tyler was failing him?
He bit his lip hard, hard enough to stop his mind from racing.
“Hey-” It was then that Aiden practically draped himself over him, pulling closer and wrapping his arms around him. Tyler didn’t realize he was crying until Aiden thumbed a tear off his cheek. He didn’t break down sobbing, thankfully, but he was close. His teeth gritted and he closed his eyes. Soaking up Aiden’s warmth made him feel conflicted. He hated feeling like this, and Aiden’s touch was helping, but on the other hand, he hated that someone saw him like this in the first place.
Neither of them moved. They were going to shift any second now, and they’d be surrounded by their friends. They both knew how to lie, how to keep this secret well within their fortified walls.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, already knowing what Aiden was going to say.
“Don’t apologize.” Aiden spoke into his hair. The blonde shifted their positions, pulling Tyler over him as he leaned backwards. Since the bathtub was big enough, he had the room to do so. Tyler followed his lead, completely unwilling and unable to refuse. The second he was able to, he pulled Aiden’s head onto his, smashing their lips together. It usually didn’t go farther than that but he needed more. He needed to know for certain that someone was there for him, at least physically.
He opened his mouth into the kiss and felt a pang of satisfaction at Aiden’s surprised hum. It was hard to surprise the blonde.
It took a second to find a rhythm that worked for them but once they found it, it was addicting. Their hands were grappling at each other's bodies, exploring under shirts and rubbing skin. Aiden was always careful with his movements, the complete opposite of his personality. Tyler was the opposite, always traversing new territory without thinking twice.
“Ty- Tyler-” Aiden spoke between kisses, “Not a word-”
“I know, idiot.” He bit Aiden’s red lip at the reminder. “Have I slipped up before?”
Their secret, their touch. It was exclusive and private. No one suspected anything because they wouldn’t let them. They were experts at playing their roles, making it look like they hated each other, when in reality it was the opposite. He was sure the others could see through their banter but never deep enough to the truth. They’d shift into the phantom realm like they’ve done all the times before and act like nothing ever happened.
When the shift did happen, he lost his balance and fell on top of Aiden. It was easier to be asleep like Ben was, because then you didn’t have to deal with the dissociation.
It took a few seconds to regain his bearings. In that time, he was only aware of the boy beneath him, his labored breath and hands on his sides.
When he came to, the sky was red and his sister was in his arms. Nothing else mattered in that moment, but when he peeked over Taylor’s hair to see Aiden eyeing him with a smile, he let go of some of his self hatred.
Something was wrong with him, sure, but at least he had Aiden in his corner. He hoped he survived tonight so he could kiss him one more time.