Chapter Text
He couldn’t remember falling asleep, but he remembered his dreams, well memories, very well. He had two brothers, two brothers who... died. He had seen the newspaper; how would he not know?
He choked back a sob, a sob of agony that threatened to rupture his heart and end his life. His brothers, who he could have saved, no longer alive because of his inaction.
His tears became harder to choke back, refusing to cry with Koala at his side like he knew she would be. He had to think, he had to plan, no matter how difficult it was to think currently.
He needed to get the Gum Gum fruit, and the Flame Flame fruit, he needed to get them, to get his hands on his brothers fruits and give the Gum Gum to Shanks, and the Flame Flame he had no idea what to do with, Ace’s own father was dead as well, as well as his whole crew. He didn’t know what to do and it hurt.
His heart ached and finally he could no longer hold the tears back, his heart ripped and tore until a scream of rage and grief finally broke from his throat, curling in on himself as it did so.
He hated himself, if only he remembered sooner, if only he knew about his brothers.
The following screams were filled with haki, rage covering his entire being as well as grief. He had so much to do, he needed to go see Dadan and Makino, somehow. He needed to get the fruits, he needed to get graves set up, he simply needed to do so much and he couldn’t think not with that ANNOYING HAND ON HIS SHOULDER!
He lashed out, a dragon claw slamming into someones side. “Don’t touch me!” His voice was gruff and harsh, he didn’t want to be touched right now and he needed to make it known in the only way his mind would allow him.
He didn’t hear a response, so he curled in on himself once more, gut wrenching sobs escaping the, barely twenty, boys entire being. He sobbed so hard he almost threw up multiple times during the ten minutes he sobbed on the bed.
He felt the hand on his shoulder again, and he lashed out again, “I said don’t fucking touch me!!”
His hand was caught this time, and he was pulled forward and a harsh voice crowed in his ear. “If you ever hit Koala again I will kill you.”
It was Hack, and fuck... he had hit Koala in his lashing out, he couldn’t stand himself he needed to disappear.
“Sabo!” He could swear he heard Luffy, a child of 7 and his baby brother, “I love you Sabo!”
“Tch, stop crying dumbass. Luffy’s the crybaby not you.” He swore he heard Ace’s voice, and it only caused him to break down even more. Not able to respond to Hack or the voices of his dead brothers.
He finally gave into the urge, and his vomit landed directly on Hack’s shoes. He just wanted his brothers. His brothers who died.
Sabo shot up, he had so many things to do and so little time to do them. He couldn’t stop the pain that threatened to consume him, but he could do something about it.
He could start with locating his brothers fruits.
Before he could get very far Dragon pulled him aside, “Sabo, son,” He winced at Dragons words his eyes cutting to the floor.
“Son look at me. What is wrong with you right now?”
“I’m not your son.” Sabo whispered, “And nothings wrong I-I need to go.”
“Son.” Dragon sighed, running a hand down his face. “Talk to me, you hit Koala.”
“I’m not your son!” He snapped, refusing to call the man who abandoned Luffy father any longer. It didn’t matter that he knew why, he still abandoned Luffy with a man even Dragon himself feared still, He would no longer respect him in the sense a son would a father.
“And I’m fine Dragon. I need to go do paperwork.”
“Koala did it.” Dragon droned, “Seeing as you collapsed at your desk. And then promptly slept for three days.”
Dragon didn’t even seem to care that his son was dead, he didn’t even care. He didn’t cry nor break from what Sabo had seen. He couldn’t even feel turmoil through his haki. Dragon. Didn’t. Care.
Sabo felt his anger rising, turning to leave.
“Do not walk away from me.” Dragon was in front of him in an instant, blocking his path.
“I will do as I please. If I have no paperwork to do I’d enjoy being able to find a way to get fire fist and straw hats Corpses away from the government.”
“The corpses will stay where they are.” Dragon scowled. “The dead stay where they rest.”
“If they have the corpses they could-“
“I do not care Sabo. Let the dead rest.”
Sabo clenched his fists. “They were my brothers. I have a-“
“I do not care that they were your brothers. In the end family does not and should not, matter to a revolutionary.”
Sabo clenched his fists, as he breathed in deeply. “Repeat. That.”
Dragon raised an eyebrow, “Excuse you?”
“Repeat what you just fucking said.” Sabo took a step towards Dragon. “I said repeat it!”
“Family does not matter to a revolutionary.” Dragon repeated.
“Aren’t we doing this for family?! So our families can live freely?!”
”Step back.” Dragon ordered, but Sabo did not obey.
“No! Im not going to stand for this.” Sabo started to take steps towards Dragon. “I won’t. You are not the man I thought you were!”
“Sabo. Listen to me.”
“No! My brothers are-” Dragon’s hand snapped out, Sabo’s head flying to the left as he gaped at the nothingness of the blackness of his closed eyes.
He struggled to breath, disbelieving the man who before today he loved with all his heart as a father.
He slowly opened his eyes, breathing in deeply struggling to keep calm so he didn’t murder the man in front of him.
“You touch me again and I will make you pay for it.” He hissed out, growling lowly under his breath in rage.
Dragon still wouldn’t move, so Sabo rushed him, pushing past the man and towards his room. As he packed his things quickly, he tasted blood in his mouth spitting it on the desk to remove the taste he grabbed his handkerchief, the one with his name sewn into. Running his thumb over the stitching softly, he let out a weak laugh, feeling self-hatred run through his entire being at the fact he had abandoned his brothers.
Even if logically he knew he didn’t abandon them, emotionally he believed he did and that was what mattered to his brain at this moment.
He left without telling Koala, or Hack. He simply left, refusing to speak to anyone here for fear of them trying to keep him from leaving.
He made his way to Garp, knowing his brothers grandfather would at least understand.
He found Garp in a bar on a random island in the south blue, drinking away his sorrows with a familiar straw hat clutched to his chest.
“Luffy wouldn’t want this.” He whispered, sliding into the seat beside Garp.
“And what do you know about my grandson brat?” Garp slurred out, his eyes drunkenly narrowing on the young blond man.
“Considering he was my brother, I’d hope a bit.”
Garp’s eyes narrowed taking in the appearance of the young man. “...Sabo.” He scowled for a moment before his tears began again, “You grew up well brat.”
“Heh, your son raised me.”
Garp scowled, swirling his bottle. “I too’ Luffy from him for a reason. He didn’t want to give him up. He would have given the boy up as a way to get away from the marines one day.”
Sabo scowled, “He would have?”
“Yeah. He would have.” Garp groaned softly, “He never wanted kids so when he got his ex pregnant he tried to pawn the boy off on three different people before I took him.”
Sabo clenched his fists, looking down at the table. “...Do the marines have their bodies...?”
“No.” Garp chuckled loosely, “that red-haired brat came and took them away. He forgot this hat.” Garp slid Luffy’s hat across the table. “I would have too, taking away my own captains son and all.”
“Ace wasn’t Rogers kid.” Sabo whispered, “And he may have called Whitebeard pops but... when we were little he wanted to call you dad.”
Garp froze, his tears falling down his face in all now. “He did?”
“Yeah, you were a hardass, but he knew, somewhere you only were because you wanted us to live. So... thank you. Dad.”
Garp sobbed into his hands, dropping the bottle to the table, holding his face in his hands. He took a few minutes to calm down, breathing shakily. “No... no problem brat, no matter how bad you all turned out. Oh, who am I kidding I’m so fucking proud of all of you.”
Sabo’s hand stopped right above the straw hat between them, “You-You are?”
“You all grew up to do what you loved brat.” Garp sighed, “Of course I would be proud. You’re all my family.”
“Gar-Garp-”
“You call me dad and then call me Garp?” He chuckled weakly, “I’m your dad you little shit use the term.”
“Dad,” Sabo whispered, “Did... they die happy...?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t close enough.” Garp whispered softly, “Only Shanks knows truly if they died happy.”
“I suppose we should find him?”
“Nah,” Garp shook his head, “Can’t see the brat. I did abandon him when he was younger to go find Ace.”
“You abandoned him?”
“I was in a relationship with Roger and Rayleigh.” Garp whispered, “Shanks and Buggy are my kids too.”
“Gar- Dad, we should find them, so you can explain.”
“I can’t.” Garp shook his head, “And I don’t want to add unnecessary grief to him currently.”
“Unnecessary grief?” A voice came from behind Garp, causing the older man to look back. “Shanks misses you every day.” It was Benn Beckman, who had his arms crossed. “And I want to show you something. So let’s go you two.”
“Are you sure?” Sabo stood up, helping Garp stand.
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Both of the men, one drunk and leaning heavily on the younger followed. When they got to the Red Force Beckman lead them right to the infirmary where, immediately Garp dropped to his knees, sobs of pure relief escaping him. As both of his grandsons were there, sleeping and pale, but alive. Shanks was sitting in a chair beside Luffy’s bedside, sleeping. And suddenly Sabo’s world that had been torn to pieces was fixed.