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They say that nighttime walks are supposed to soothe one’s soul. Bring some happiness after a moment of somberness.
Shouto wanted this. He desperately needed to feel some sense of calmness as the war drew closer and closer. So, on the eve of the war, Shouto snuck out of their temporary dorms and headed down the hill and into the forested area, ensuring nobody saw him.
Of course, he knew this was dangerous and very delinquent of him. He was going way past his curfew. He should be sleeping, not wandering outside. But the suffocating walls of his new dorm were proving too much for him. He needed the tranquility that nighttime brought; the quaint atmosphere provided the perfect opportunity to reflect on the events that were soon to take place.
Shouto took slow steps, taking deep breaths as he did. He could hear his footsteps on the twig-littered soil, crunching as his feet stepped on them. He felt his lungs fill, attempting to suck in the serenity of his quiet surroundings, but his mind roamed, trouble.
“Out of the remaining heroes, you’re the only one with any hope of opposing him.”
Shouto knew this. He had agreed that he would be the one to face him and stop him. He was the one who was going to stop his brother.
But even with this resolve, he felt conflicted and saddened. He never wanted this; he never wanted to see Touya like this. His brother may be a villain and he can’t ignore all the terrible things he has done, but he is still his brother.
When he saw him, his eyes were ravaged with anger and revenge. But Shouto saw something else… he saw misery. Touya was just as hurt. He knew it. All he wanted to do was to hug his brother and urge him to stop. But would he be able to do that? Could he stop him in time?
As Shouto continued his nightly walk, he looked contemplatively up at the starry sky. It was a full moon, allowing him to see his surroundings without bother. Be hoped it wasn’t, he loves to see the array of colors from the mesmerizing display of the galaxy. The purple, blues, and whites mixing to form a cloud of intergalactic hues was a spectacle to see, one that Shouto had always longed to witness.
It was stunning. It was perfect — if only his family could be here to witness it alongside him. But his mom, Fuyumi, and Natsuo were currently locked in their own house under heightened security, which the heroes had implemented out of fear that Touya might come for them. Naturally, nobody dared to confine Endeavor. And Shouto — well, Shouto was crucial to their plan.
Logically, Shouto understood that it was necessary. He knew the facts and figures; he had read briefing after briefing on what Dabi had done. But Dabi and Touya… even though they were the same person, they would always be somewhat separate in Shouto’s heart and mind. Once upon a time, Dabi had been Touya, yes, but that was the case no longer since he was pushed to his breaking point by Endeavor. But maybe, just maybe, Dabi could be Touya again.
Shouto was well aware that anyone else would tell him he was deluded, but couldn’t one have some hope in the midst of this dreary, demoralizing, despairing war?
To take his mind off the inevitability of the upcoming battle, he recalled happier, more lighthearted times. Holding out his hands, palms up, Shouto allowed a delicate flame to dance across one hand, while on the other, he formed a crystal ice sculpture of a sled. Once upon a time, he’d shunned his fire and leaned too hard into his ice. But now, he was in a perfect equilibrium; there was beauty in both sides of his power.
If only Touya could have had a chance to realize that too.
Shouto let out a long sigh as he distinguished his ice and flames.
It all rested upon his shoulders, and he was happy to bear this burden so that no one else would have to.
But who could willingly want to- to-
He drew in a shaky breath. And then another. I have to contain my emotions. I can’t let them get in the way of duty.
I can’t I can’t I can’t-
Overwhelmed, he sank to the ground, grasping for and tearing at the long grass as his knees buckled under him. Why? he wanted to scream. Why does it have to be me? Why does it always have to be me, why couldn’t I just be number two, why do I have to be perfect and powerful and calm and collected and-
He screams. It’s a guttural, ugly noise, released into the void of the night but carried away by the wind within mere moments, like it was never there, like it didn’t matter.
When had his feelings ever mattered? When had his opinions mattered? Why did he have to be the one to literally kill the brother that he knew, deep down, could still be saved?
He wanted to hold out a helping hand, to pull Touya back from the depths of Dabi. He didn’t want to hold out a hand that was holding a knife or a spear made from ice. He didn’t want to turn Father’s fire against Touya.
Suddenly, despite his innate temperature regulation abilities, he felt the sting of the cold air.
But it wasn’t long before he registered a presence behind him, and a fluffy weighted blanket being tossed over his shoulders. He spun around, ready to lash out instinctively, but when he saw Midoriya’s concerned face, the words died in his throat.
“What are you doing here?” Shouto choked out.
Izuku shrugged. “I should be asking that to you, really. I just came to check on you — you didn’t look too good during dinner.”
“How’d you know I’d be here?”
“Intuition and lucky guess, I suppose,” Izuku answered with a smile as he moved to sit beside Shouto. “I come here sometimes myself before a big raid or an important event. It’s nice to be alone with your thoughts.”
“That’s what I wanted at first,” Shouto admitted helplessly, his erratic heartbeat calming the more he spoke. “I needed a chance to wrap my mind around the reality of what’s happening tomorrow. It’s been a day.”
“But then…” Izuku trailed off. It was clear he knew what had happened next.
“Mhm.”
They sat there in silence for a long while before Midoriya broke the uneasy quiet that had settled over them.
“Want to talk?”
“I don’t know,” Shouto began, his fingers tightening around the blanket as if it were a lifeline. “You — you should be focusing on the fight, Midoriya. This whole operation revolves around you. I’d rather not dump my family worries onto you, on top of everything else.”
Izuku let out a quick hum and looked at the starry sky thoughtfully. “You are not bothering me, if that is what you are worried about. Yes, this war has been at the forefront of my mind, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help those around me.” He turned to look softly at Shouto. “Todoroki, you are my friend. I am here to talk if you need to, but if you just want to sit, that is okay with me. That’s why I brought the blanket.”
Shouto watched as Izuku smiled at his small comment. He hugged the blanket tighter, feeling its warm embrace. He hated how his quirk tended to react to his emotions. When he was sad or down, he would feel colder than usual, and when he was angry, hotter. He has gotten better at regulating how his quirk reacted to his slew of emotions, but since his power converged from his heart, it was hard to keep it in check.
Izuku seemed to know, hence the blanket.
“Is it Dabi?” Izuku suddenly asked.
Shouto eyes widened. Immediately after, tears began to well up, shimmering with unspoken emotions. “Yeah,” He quietly murmured, “I know I have to fight him, I’m the only one who can but — he is still my brother. I want Touya back. But can I really remove Dabi and bring him back?”
Izuku wondered, “I don’t know, but how you are feeling right now is how I feel about Shigaraki. Back in the war with the paranormal liberation front, I sensed a kid, he was crying. I am assuming that was him, asking for help. But can I save that small kid…I don’t know. I know I can’t really say much since he is your brother, but I would say try. Do what you can to stop him and then see if you can get through him.”
“Yeah, looks like that is the only option, huh?” Shouto sighed, sorrowfully, “That power I showed you — I hope it can stop him…end all of his anguish. I know it seems impossible. Everybody thinks he is a lost cause, but he is in there. I know Touya is in there. I just want to — when the war is over and he is back, I want to take him somewhere. Maybe get some soba or something.”
Izuku laughed, “I think that is a wonderful idea, I’m sure Touya would love and appreciate that,”
Shouto smiled, “I also hope I can get to know him, as brothers, you know?”
“Yup,” Izuku nodded, “I’m hoping you do.”
He didn’t want to say, “Oh yeah, I’m sure that will happen” or “your brother will be saved.” He didn’t know if any of that would happen for sure, and he was sure Shouto knew that as well. This war — well, anything could happen. But what he could do is be there for him and listen. That was what a true friend would do in such troublesome times.
“I think — I think I’m good for now, we should probably head back,” Shoto explained as he stood up, clutching the blanket tightly around his body. The warmth and security it provided were a solace to his weary soul.
“Yeah,” Izuku said, standing up as well. Once he did, the two began their walk back.
“Thanks again, Midoriya. I appreciate you being here, you are a great friend.” Shouto expressed gratefully.
Izuku smiled. “Of course; I am always here for you.” He paused to listen to the sounds of the eerie night. The nocturnal creatures and the rustling of the leaves enveloped the landscape in flickering echoes. “Well, we have a busy day tomorrow.”
“Yeah.”
“But we got this. We can do this. And as for Touya, I know you can stop him. I will be thinking of you, fighting alongside you!” Izuku proclaimed.
“And I’ll be right there with you… let’s win this, Midoriya.” Shouto added.
“Yeah,” Izuku said, nodding, “let’s win this.”
The two walked back to their temporary dorms, the start of the new day looming before them.
Shouto doesn’t know what will happen next, but one thing is for sure: he’ll do everything he can to save Dabi. He doesn’t want to kill him and he will not.
Instead, he will eat soba with him, and maybe for once his family will be whole.
Maybe for once, Touya will return home.