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After she was caught, here was how the fan explained her actions.
See, everything had gone wrong when Kaito Momota had gone against his character and started dating Kokichi Oma, which was super bizarre, since he had clearly been written with dating Maki Harukawa in mind.
Then, because Kaito was acting so OOC, that meant Maki—who was designed to date Kaito—had no choice but to start acting OOC too. And that was how she ended up dating Shuichi Saihara, which was actual madness, the two clearly had nothing in common, watching them take photos together always had her wondering if someone was holding a gun to their head off camera.
Y’know what I mean?
Anyway, so because Shuichi ended up with Maki, that meant he couldn’t be with the person he was OBVIOUSLY supposed to end up with, Kaede Akamatsu! So of course Kaede had to end up with someone random, and that was how she ended up dating Rantaro Amami, which then meant she was disrupting his pre-destined pairing…Tsumugi Shirogane.
And I’m just such huge Rantaro and Tsumugi fans, it was killing me to watch Rantaro be with someone he couldn’t possibly love, while Tsumugi was out there being alone, it was killing me, someone had to do something to help them all, and the more I looked at it, the more and more I just knew the original problem stemmed from Kaito dating Kokichi, which was so wrong honestly for already a thousand different reasons, like ew, but clearly something had gone wrong with him because the Real, True Kaito would obviously have ended up with Maki, they were made for each other, literally!! So he just needed to go back to being his base, most canon self and—
Anyway, yeah, that’s why I flashed him with that flashback light. So that everyone could end up with who they’re supposed to be with. And Rantaro and Tsumugi can finally be happy.
How could I wipe away all of the memories of someone I’m trying to help?
I’m a real fan. How could I not?
-
“Sort of feels like I’m kidnapping you.”
Kaito looked away from the window, glancing over to the driver, a man named Kokichi.
(Screaming. Kaito’s first sound had been hearing a scream of pure, animalistic rage.)
(Nails like claws, digging into the woman holding the flashlights face—)
(“HOW DARE YOU, WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, I’LL KILL YOU!!”)
“Huh?” he asked, a beat too late to play it off that he hadn’t been lost in his head.
“You keep craning your neck to read all the street signs,” Kokichi explained, not looking at Kaito, just shrugging as he drove them through hill-side streets, “You’ve got a whole ‘planning an escape route’ vibe going on.”
“Oh, I’m not!” Kaito said, the sound a nervous bark of a laugh before he explained, “I’m just trying to learn the area! I mean, I should, right? I live here?”
There was that note of uncertainty when Kaito asked. Like he kept waiting for Kokichi, or anyone, to go ‘Nope, psych! This was all an elaborate prank! You really do live with your grandparents still! Who exist! And you’re still eighteen, not twenty-four! And you’re an Ultimate! And you’re still going to be an…’.
But the man with the pretty, angled face and eyes half the size of his head just nodded. “Yep. You live here.” A beat. “With me.”
(Kaito enthusiastic, grinning, staring right past everyone who had come to visit him in the hospital.)
(Introducing himself as an astronaut to Shuichi, who stood there on the verge of tears.)
(Asking the silent, seething Maki if she was okay, if she was another patient at the hospital, did she need help?)
(A startled gasp when Kokichi was finally properly introduced for who he was to him.)
(“Really?” Kaito said, staring at Kokichi like he was looking at him for the first time, and wasn’t entirely pleased with what he saw, “…us?”)
It was only when they had turned into the parking garage of their building did Kaito say, “I don’t feel tense. I’m in a good mood, it’s great to be out of that hospital! And I’m grateful you’re letting me stay with you, just so we’re clear.”
“Well, I ought to!” Kokichi said too loudly, with too much snickering enthusiasm for the absolute non-joke of saying, “Your name is on the lease! Kicking you out would be the heist of the century!”
The joke falls flat. Kokichi hates himself a little for having tried for it in the first place, pulling his keys from the car. Kaito doesn’t know anything about Kokichi’s ‘Supreme Leader of Evil’ storyline. Doesn’t remember the bombastic personality Kokichi had for the game.
(He didn’t remember a thousand fights that turned into a thousand conversations.)
(He didn’t remember a trip that had felt spontaneous but had actually been meticulously planned by Kokichi, inviting Kaito to drive out to a waterfall in the woods, not long after Kaito’s attempt to get his medical issues waved to take the astronaut exam had been officially denied. Its lightly rippling pool had sparkled like the stars under a full moon, the two leaning back and watching the sky and the water and talking for hours about how unfair it all was.)
(And then talking about how there were still other beautiful things to see, though.)
(He didn’t remember Kokichi drawing back, over and over, until Kaito had finally taken his face in his hands and, with a determined look, leaned in to kiss—)
(When Kokichi had been told that woman had needed eight stitches, that her skin would be disfigured for life, he had only felt grimly disappointed. He had hoped he had gotten her eyes.)
Kokichi and Kaito lived in a small place on the hillside, near the city. They had picked the place carefully, after a year of searching. It was a small enclosure of hillside that had been partially carved out for townhomes and little houses. It was quiet and out of the way, but near enough the city that it was easy to take a drive down. Mostly families lived there. There was a good school nearby.
Kokichi had felt mildly relieved when they entered their condo and Kaito had whistled, impressed. “This place is nice!”
“You would think that. You did most of the decoration.” Kokichi snickered, taking off his coat, about to hang it up, before holding onto it when he noticed Kaito head inside without taking his off. Holding it in his arms as he followed him inside, “I’d just like to remind you that when you see the kitchen and the office, I let you decorate everything else, got it?”
“Hah, okay, let me check out the kitchen, see what you’re warning me about—holy shit!! What the fuck, why is there a giant clown butler just next to the fridge!?”
“That’s Buggy and you will show him respect!” Kokichi said, another small twinge of relief running through him. Kaito seemed in better spirits now. Going from the sterile and hostile atmosphere of the Monophanie Rehab Center to a nice house decorated in a past life to suit his own tastes apparently the right move after all, to improve Kaito’s morale.
(Not that Kokichi could have left him in that place anyway. He and the others—their friends, though it had taken Kokichi years before he had been willing to call his V3 castmates as such—all had agreed that leaving Kaito in the rehab indefinitely just wasn’t really an option, even though Danganronpa had offered it. No one had been happier leaving the rehab than Kaito had been, back the first time around. Leaving him there alone now, waiting for memories that were never coming back? It wasn’t an option.
And he had gone home with Kokichi. Because it wasn’t like any of the others were better options. Kaito hadn’t just forgotten his time after the game had ended. He had forgotten meeting Shuichi and Kaede under the dome. Had forgotten reaching out to Maki and holding on no matter what. Had forgotten defending Gonta from Kokichi, or killing Kokichi beneath the press.
Kaito was exactly who he had been, the morning he had woken up from the dome. He hadn’t remembered any of them. Kokichi no more a bitter, hated enemy than he was now a boyfriend. Kokichi was just a stranger to Kaito. Like everyone else.
So, back home with Kokichi was as good as anywhere else.)
“Hey, I’m going to sit out on the balcony a bit, okay?” Kaito had called back, “It’s too nice a day out to spend inside!”
That explained Kaito holding onto his coat. He had known he was going to want to sit outside for a bit as soon as he walked in.
Kaito didn’t really know what to do inside, Kokichi guessed. He wasn’t sure what items were his, how to navigate the kitchen or living area, what hobbies he had to indulge in or how to pass the time. Outside watching the city was the easiest choice to make, right then. Kokichi understood.
Kaito also probably needed to be alone a bit. It had been a hard week. Police statements. Nurses hovering. (His friends crying any time he said anything, like ‘what's your name?’ and ‘were we close?’ and ‘So, wait, we’re… boyfriends or something? But how can that… I don’t…?’)
Kokichi understood that too.
“Do you want some company?” Kokichi asked anyway.
“Uh, yeah, if you want to!” Kaito said, not sounding super enthused.
Kokichi went out to the balcony anyway.
Kaito, to his credit, was genuinely trying his best to deal with the whole situation. But then, that was part of his design, wasn’t it? In the death game, when he had woken up in the dome, his first action had been to brag about his ultimate title and insist Shuichi shouldn’t complain about a terrible situation in the face of a kidnapping and a cage, and Kaito now had stuck to that mentality (nevermind all those years of the others convincing Kaito it was okay for him to ask for help) as he grinned cheerfully and said, “Hey, look at that, we have a great view! There’s a park really just right down there, huh?”
“You wanted to live near the park.” Kokichi said simply, looking down at the playground.
“Yeah, I sort of wondered why we were so far from where you said I worked, but I think I get it now. The area seems nice! Very…” Kaito looked around the surrounding buildings, lots of families out and about on their balconies or down the sidewalks and in the park on the chilly, early spring day, “…calm! Cozy! I guess we’re calm and cozy people?”
Kokichi could hear the uncertainty in that question. Eighteen year old Ultimate Astronaut Kaito hadn’t been a calm or cozy person living out of the way to live in a nice family district. Kaito pre-death-game had wanted to take on the seas, earth and heavens!!
Kokichi didn’t know how to explain time had passed. That they had gotten older. That broken dreams had been replaced with new ones. Kokichi didn’t know how to explain the plans…
Kokichi didn’t even really know how to be right now, as he smirked, “We’re just keeping a low profile so that no one knows I’m planning to take over the world.”
Again, no laugh. Kaito just grinned at him uncertainly before looking back out at the view. Kokichi briefly considered doubling down and laughing maniacally, and didn’t. He felt out of place in his own home, in his own body. For the first time in years, he didn’t know how to talk to Kaito.
Kaito didn’t seem to know what to say to Kokichi either. They were silent for a bit, both pretending to be enraptured by people watching, both trying to figure out what to say next. What to do next. What was the future going to look like? Like this? A bunch of long, uncomfortable silences with a total stranger. One of them in love, the other…
“It’s still sort of trippy to think I was in a death game,” Kaito suddenly admitted, “Or, I guess that ‘someone’ was in a death game. What was that guys name…the one with the eyelashes?”
“Shuichi.” Kokichi said, choosing not to think about Kaito noticing his eyelashes above everything else.
“Yeah, Shuichi! He said I didn’t have to consider everything I did in the death game as something I did, if I didn’t want to. That we had all as a group basically decided anything we didn’t personally remember just wasn’t our problem? That who I was when I was ‘Daichi’ is irrelevant to me too, so it didn’t have to be different with that, uh… version of Kaito, I guess is the easiest way to say it,” Kaito frowned, “…but I don’t know if that’s really realistic for me, even saying it now. Like, you all know me as that Kaito, seems like everyone knows me as that Kaito, and everyone knows everything I did in that game—”
“There was a lot of life after that game too,” Kokichi said, “Way more of it than there was the death game. We’re all a lot more than what happened that month.”
“Yeah! Yeah, that’s true! Hahaha… um, where was I going with all of that? So, what I mean to ask is, Shuichi said I shouldn’t watch what happened, if I don’t want to, that I don’t need to, but what do you think I should do—”
“You’re putting on a voice,” Kokichi said, “Did you realize?”
“What?” Kaito asked, frowning, “What do you mean? No I’m not.”
“You’re dipping your voice lower,” Kokichi said, resting his feet up on the balcony’s edge, tipping his chair back, “And pushing air from your chest to sound gruff. I haven’t mentioned it before because I kept hoping you’d stop on your own, but it’s been a week now and you’re still doing it. Why?”
“This is… it’s just my voice! I’m not dipping it low!” Kaito insisted. “This is just what I sound like!”
It wasn’t. Kaito sounded like a teenager trying to sound older than he was, his voice forcibly down a few octaves, like he was growling every other word. Kokichi hadn’t noticed it much in the game, that Kaito did this around new people, because he and Kaito hadn’t interacted much early in the game, and Kaito had basically cut it out by the third trial. He had noticed it a little when they were first doing talk shows for Danganronpa and had proceeded to mock Kaito until Kaito had been too self conscious to not notice he was doing it, fixing the impulse as he got older. He had stopped doing it so long ago that Kokichi had forgotten it was a thing.
Seven years of progress. Gone. In a flash.
“Kai-chan is putting on a voice,” Kokichi said, vaguely trying to remember what he had said about it six years ago, when he had first noticed that habit, the way his voice dipped low and gruff when he was nervous around new people. “He sounds like a poorly acted shonen.”
Kokichi had hoped that Kaito would rebuff him. Maybe make fun of something about him.
“Tsk.” Kaito scoffed, looking away, wrapping his arms around his chest, withdrawing rather than lashing out, “Yeah, whatever. It’s not a ‘voice’.”
Kokichi wasn’t sure why it was this that had done it. But he suddenly had a gripping, terrible sense of fear run through him.
How were they ever going to get back to where they had been a week ago, when Kaito was seven years away?
How do you speedrun seven years of a relationship that shouldn’t have worked the first time?
-
“Oh,” Kaito said, staring at their room, “There’s only one bed.”
“There suuuuure is~” Kokichi said, the amusement in his voice feeling terribly strained to himself as he laughed, “We’re not one of those early hollywood couples, with two beds each beside a nightstand. We’re the real deal! Kicking each other in our sleep and all!”
“Oh… oh, is that where those bruises on my legs came from!?” Kaito suddenly realized, looking down at his legs like he’d be able to see them through his pants, “I was wondering!”
“Well, you also bruise like a peach. Your blood thinners make my big, strong Kai-chan all dainty and frail. Can’t handle a few leg brushes without being all dramatic about it.” Kokichi scoffed, heading to the bed.
Again, no direct response to any of that. No earnest defense of him NOT being frail, dammit, no over-dramatic declarations that he was NOT overdramatic!! Just a quiet, nervous tension coming from the other man that, again, made Kokichi feel like a kidnapper as he grabbed two pillows from their pile of four, backing up with them, “Alright, so the master bathroom is through that door there. Your toothbrush is the one covered in space junk, a-doi. And your blood thinners are in the first drawer to the right! Don’t forget to take them, call me if you need a reminder how to use them. Enjoy!”
“What?” Kaito asked, watching as Kokichi headed to the door with his pillows.
“What? You think I want to sleep next to you while you’re all stiff as a board? Get real, Kaito, the couch is way more comfortable than sleeping next to you right now. I need to get some real sleep before I go to work tomorrow.”
Kaito wondered what Kokichi did for work, but was too distracted to ask, saying instead, “I can sleep on the couch, you don’t have to give up your bed for me.”
“Kaito, you’re twice my size, our couch isn’t massive.” Kokichi said, rolling his eyes, “Just take my generous offer and go sleep, I’ll be fine.”
Kaito frowned, his eyes trailing down the hall to where the stairs to the living room was… before he focused on another door at the end of the hall. “Do we have a guest room? What’s that door?”
“That door?” Kokichi asked, glancing at it, like he had forgotten it was there, “Oh, no, don’t worry about that door.”
Something about the way Kokichi said that piqued Kaito’s interest, taking a step towards it, “Why, what’s in there—”
Kaito gasped when Kokichi suddenly stood in front of him, a strange, twisted smile darkening his face. The look so intense that Kaito took a step back towards their room in instinct, a rush of alarm running through him.
“I said Go To Sleep, Kaito.” Kokichi snarled… before his sneer turned into a sweet smile, “I’ll show you that room tomorrow, okay? It’s been a long day, go get some rest!”
“…okay.” Kaito said, stepping back into the bedroom. Kokichi watching him from the hall with that same strange, uncanny smile on his face, until finally Kaito closed the door on him, “Goodnight.”
What was that about…?
-
In the middle of the night, Kaito was woken up by a strange sound. Like a whirring sound… a drill bit?
But it was over almost as soon as Kaito was coherent enough to wonder what it had been. He felt too awkward to go explore the unfamiliar place at night, not with Kokichi out there sleeping on the couch, so he went back to sleep.
-
The next morning, Kaito headed out of the bedroom, and saw a padlock had closed a newly installed swing-lock, closing that second room to Kaito.
“What the…” Kaito murmured, looking down at the small pile of fresh sawdust on the floor, “What kind of freak… what’s in there!? Who padlocks a door in the middle of the night!?”
But Kokichi wasn’t around to demand answers from, having indeed gone to work, wherever that was.
Kaito had been told he worked as a flight planning coordinator for JAXA satellites. He had been told he had a degree in Aerospace Engineering, which he had worked hard for after he had finished grieving his lost Ultimate status. He had been told he was an aspiration for other ‘ex’ Ultimates, newly fresh from the games, about what reclaiming their fabricated talent could look like in practice.
No one talked about what it would mean now, that Kaito didn’t have that years of education in his mind anymore, those years of job experience. He was told JAXA had put him on a paid leave of absence for an indefinite period of time while all of this was sorted out. No one could guess what Kaito’s work-life would look like, when he was allowed to come back.
(Tojo, trying to be kind, had guessed, “They probably won’t fire you. Perhaps you’ll end up an executive assistant in practice, for the team you worked with. I doubt they’ll cut your pay, if only because of the optics.”)
(It had been the wrong thing to say.)
Right now, though, Kaito was more curious about the newly locked door, then he was about what he was going to do for work in the future.
Kaito suspected it’d be easy enough to break into the door, if he really wanted to. Boltcutters? He could get his hand on some boltcutters… but then he’d have to grapple with Kokichi, because there was very few easy ways to hide that he had broken Kokichi’s lock open. He could maybe buy a new padlock and replace it? He’d have to be so careful not to leave any marks though…
But before Kaito could settle on a plan, Kokichi came back by noon, holding a bag of fast food as he explained, “I decided to run some errands today rather then work. I got some food from the pastry place you like! Well, you don’t know you like it yet, but trust me, you’re nuts for this stuff.”
“Hey,” Kaito said, standing up from the couch where he had not really been watching the tv, crossing his arms over his chest and looking stern, “The hell is up with that padlock?
“Padlock?” Kokichi asked.
“On the door that you wouldn’t let me go look at yesterday.”
“Oh, THAT padlock!” Kokichi shrugged, unpacking the food, “That’s always been there, Kai-chan, it was there when we bought the house.”
“What!?” Kaito sputtered, “That wasn’t there yesterday! Quit screwing around!”
“Oooooh, are we going back to catchphrases?” Kokichi asked, giving Kaito a briefly dry, unimpressed look, before his face twisted into a snickering smile, “Sure, I can do that too! Neeheehee~ the padlocks always been there, space-boy! But then, of course, it’s a lie!! HA HA HA HA… aren’t catch phrases fun?”
“Would you knock it the fuck off, I don’t know what the hell I just said that’s a ‘catch phrase’ but it’s just how I fucking talk!” Kaito shouted.
“Oh, it’s hilarious hearing you say that, while still putting on that STUPID, GRUFF VOICE!” Kokichi shouted back, suddenly fierce and snarling, “I thought I told you to cut that shit out, it sounds so fucking stupid that I don’t even want to take you around people.”
“I’m the embarrassing one!?” Kaito scoffed, “You padlocked one of the doors shut overnight! Like that isn’t fucking weird enough, you’re acting like I’m the freak for pointing it out! What, did you think bringing me food your old boyfriend liked would distract me from that!?”
Kokichi’s face suddenly went incredibly still. “You’re my boyfriend.”
“I don’t even know who the hell you are.” Kaito grit his teeth, squaring his shoulders, “And we all agreed that any memories we forgot don’t count anymore, right?”
Kokichi SCREAMED.
It was the same type of scream that Kaito had watched the man wail just before attacking that woman with the flashlight, tackling her onto her back on the sidewalk and clawing into her face until other people going to the Danganronpa highlights talk show—(something they hadn’t been contractually obligated to do, but had volunteered for, because the pay would help and they had big, big plans)—had pulled him off of her. He had been covered in blood that was too red, far too red (wasn’t blood pink? a dazed, newly born Kaito had managed to wonder) and Kaito quickly stepped backwards, a rush of fear running through him as he put up his arms, trying to protect himself.
Kokichi pushed him, then again, and a third time until Kaito had stumbled out into the balcony, where Kokichi then slammed the glass door shut, locking it.
And then he SCREAMED again… before, hands shaking, Kokichi pulled out his cellphone. Turning his back to Kaito, who had just been staring at him in stunned, alarmed horror from the other side of the glass, not wanting Kaito to see the way his eyes had reddened as he waited for the phone to ring, once, twice—
“Kokichi?” Shuichi answered.
“You’ve ruined my relationship! You finally did it, you bastard! Pretty, long-lashed bastard, you finally fucking did it!” Kokichi screeched into the phone, clutching it tightly, his whole body shaking as he said, “Are you happy!? Are you proud!? Is it worth finally getting to fuck him!?”
“…K-kokichi? Kokichi, we’ve talked about this, I’m not… what’s happened—”
“He’s the original Kaito and everything, he’s perfect for you, you’ll love him, I’m sure you two will be so fucking happy because god knows he’s never going to be happy with me again—DON’T YOU FUCKING HANG UP ON ME!”
But the phone had buzzed silent. Kokichi panting, staring wide eyed at his home, his whole body trembling, convulsing, because his boyfriend was locked out in the balcony and didn’t love him and didn’t count the last seven years of their fucking LIVES and his home had been half decorated by him and half decorated by the space-case who didn’t know him and wouldn’t know him because Kokichi had no idea how to talk to him now and Kokichi couldn’t show him that room until Kaito loved him again, he couldn’t what if he ran—
The phone rang. Kokichi picked up.
“I’m coming over. ” Maki said, “Try not to fuck it up any harder than you already have in the next ten minutes.”
Kokichi sobbed.
-
Maki used her key to walk in, and the sight wasn’t any better than she had feared it’d be.
Kokichi was sitting with his back to the glass sliding door, a haunted expression on his face, like a guard dog who hadn’t been allowed a break in years. Kaito, in turn, was sitting on one of the balcony chairs outside, wearing nothing but pajamas and shivering in the cold. An expression of sudden hope on his face when he saw Maki walk into the living room. “Hey, hey, what was your name again… Maki? Maki Harukawa!? This bastards locked me out here for like twenty minutes!” He called through the glass.
Maki glanced over at Kaito, before looking down at Kokichi, “How long as he been out there?”
“Maybe twelve minutes.” Kokichi admitted, glaring at his knees.
“He’s fine.” Maki said. “But he still probably needs a coat. Unless you want to deal with him having a cold, on top of everything else.”
Kokichi grasped his hair by the roots, pulling at them lightly as he buried his face in his knees… before mumbling, “I should just let him back inside. He’s going to leave me. Better to just get started now.”
“Stop acting pathetic, and go get his coat.” Maki said, “We’ll figure it out.”
“Hey! Hey, are you going to let me out!? You can’t just keep me here!” Kaito shouted through the glass, it dawning on him that Maki’s presence wasn’t the get out of balcony free card he had thought it was going to be, Kokichi handing her Kaito’s coat before she came to the sliding door, “He’s crazy, he’s out of his mind, I can’t live here with him—ooph.”
“Here.” Maki said, throwing the coat into Kaito’s arms, “Now shut up for a while. I’m trying to save your damn relationship, which, trust me, you want me to do. We’ll be back.”
“YOU’RE BOTH CRAZY! I’LL SCALE DOWN THE BALCONY! YOU THINK I WON’T JUMP? …Maki!? Kokichi?? Guys, don’t leave me out here!”
“He hates me.” Kokichi sniffled, as Maki led him to the kitchen, still in view of Kaito at the balcony, but not able to overhear them now. “I don’t know what to do.”
“He doesn’t hate you. There’s no one to hate yet. He doesn’t know you.” Maki said, opening up the fridge and grabbing some milk. Putting it down on the counter as she said, “Pass me the hot chocolate packets. Do you have rum?”
Kokichi sniffled, wobbling back and forth as he went to dig out the hot chocolate packets, Maki pouring milk into the kettle, “R-r-rum was Kai-chans f-favorite.”
“It’s still his favorite, he’s not dead, he’s literally right there. Stop being overdramatic.” Maki said, turning on the burner. “You two are always so extra. Why on earth did you call Shuichi screaming about him being a homewrecker? We’re literally married.”
“G-good for you! Glad you’re h-h-happily married and Shuichi, with his ‘pretty long lashes’, would have to do a bunch of paperwork t-to leave you!” Kokichi wailed, flopping the upper half of his body onto the counter, sniffling and snorting snot as he whimpered, “My boyfriend can just, just, walk out! He could walk out! B-b-because the last seven years don’t count.”
“If you don’t pull it together enough to breathe without drooling all over the hot chocolate,” Maki said, pulling open one of the drawers and pulling out a knife, glaring at Kokichi, “I’m going to cut you. And then you and Kaito can bond over him having to take you to get stitches.”
SNIFF, SNIIFFFF , “B-bully! M-murder girl! B-b-b-bitch!” SNIIIIIIIIFFFF… “…sorry. It’s been a hard morning. I didn’t sleep last night.”
“Just couldn’t manage it?” Maki asked, putting the knife down and going back to the kettle.
“I went to three different 24/7 convenient stores before I found one that sold swing locks and a padlock,” Kokichi sniffed, smooshing his face into the counter, a puddle of his own tears awkwardly getting into his eye, “Ow…”
“Why?” Maki asked, pouring the hot milk into three different mugs, mixing the chocolate.
“…I didn’t want him to see the room next to ours.”
“……” Maki sighed, grabbing the rum and giving all three mugs a generous dose, “Kokichi, Kaito getting amnesia is not permission to suddenly be the shittiest version of yourself. You’re better than this.”
“I was better for him.” Kokichi whispered, taking one of the mugs and holding it close to himself, soothed by the heat, “Who am I without him?”
“Who knows. I’d rather not find out,” Maki admitted, grabbing the other two mugs, “So let’s go salvage this. And stop talking like Kaito’s dead. He’s just pissed and glaring at us through the glass over there. Very much opposite of dead.”
“Well, you would know.” Kokichi said, snickering… before his face fell, “Sorry, I forgot how un-fun those jokes were.”
“You’re having a weird week. We all are. I can be murder-girl again for a while.” Maki shrugged, heading to the sliding door.
-
It took a few minutes to talk Kaito out of bolting the second the door was opened. Maki arguing that Kaito wanted to stick around and hear them out, that she had made hot chocolate, that it had some alcohol in it, that Kokichi was very sorry, weren’t you Kokichi?
Kokichi had whispered miserably he was sorry, Kaito had been a little curious to drink rum-dosed hot chocolate—he had never had alcohol before, as far as his eighteen year old memory was aware—and finally he had calmed down enough to sit in the living room with them.
Kaito took one sip of the hot chocolate… before lighting up. “Oh! I like that.”
“Told you.” Maki told Kokichi, sipping her own, “Kaito, you don’t have to stay here tonight if you don’t want to—”
“What!?” Kokichi said, looking betrayed.
“—shut up, Kokichi, you’ve been a terror last night and today, apparently, I’m not here to tell Kaito that he has to put up with bullshit like that.” Maki said, “But Kaito, you two really should talk it out. A version of you from a week ago would hate me if I didn’t at least try to get you both talking like normal people.”
“Right… I’m sorry, who are you to me again?” Kaito asked Maki.
“I’m your best friend.” Maki said, a small frown twisting her features for a moment, before she forced it to relax, “I’m married to Shuichi. Some people will still insist on referring to me as the Ultimate Assassin. I still have memories of being the Ultimate Assassin. That said, I’m not.”
“Ultimate Assassin? How could anyone believe you’re an Ultimate Assassin?” Kaito frowned, tilting his head.
Maki and Kokichi both waited a beat, watching Kaito appraise her.
“….you’re too nice for that.” Kaito said. “I mean, definitely an asshole, but not ‘murder people for pay’ sort of asshole. More of a ‘leave a guy on the balcony while you make him hot chocolate’ kind of asshole. Which is nice.”
Subtly, both Maki and Kokichi relaxed. Kaito giving Maki the endless benefit of the doubt was part of his original storyline, sure, but a part of them had been waiting for Kaito to dismiss her out of hand anyway. It might have been artificial, but it was nice to see the more reliable parts of Kaito, the ones that had lasted years after the game, still there.
“I agree, though it took me a long time to accept that.” Maki said, “I’m a lawyer now, if you were curious.”
“Woah!” Kaito’s eyes widened, “Cool!”
“Great, fantastic.” Kokichi grumbled, “So glad you came over, Maki, so that he could gush over you.”
“Well, what do you do for work?” Kaito frowned, “You never said.”
Kokichi glared at the mug in his hands.
“Kokichi didn’t have time to get an education or find a new job.” Maki said, “Danganronpa keeps us on PR contracts for five years after our show ends, and Kokichi, for our game, felt the brunt of that more than anyone. He was constantly touring, constantly doing events, participating as a special guest in other shows,” Maki said, “He’s one of Danganronpa’s biggest stars in their whole franchise. He only got out of the contract two years ago, and that was us having to fight them trying to auto-renew him for another five year contract. He hasn’t worked since then.”
“Oh…” Kaito frowned, giving Kokichi a newly concerned look, “…but isn’t Danganronpa the people that put us in a death game? You worked for them for five years?”
“He didn’t have better choices, Kaito.” Maki said, “If he had broken the contract, Danganronpa would have buried him in debts he could have never crawled out of. Debts that would have ruined your life too, as his live-in partner. He did it so you both could have a future.”
Five years sacrificed for that goal. Leaving Kokichi with no other life skills other than pandering to Danganronpa. And Kaito couldn’t remember any of it.
“Not that you owe him your life for it.” Maki said, glancing meaningfully at Kokichi, who glared slightly back, “Because Shuichi was right, Kokichi. We can’t expect him to live up to promises he doesn’t remember making. We all know how this works. It’s a new start for him. We have to let him figure out what that means for himself.”
Kokichi, briefly, swelled up. Like he was planning to start screaming again. To start wailing in fury…before he suddenly deflated. Just looking tired and sad as he nodded. “…yeah, I know.”
“Kaito,” Maki said, looking back to Kaito, “…you fought the world for this relationship. For this little bastard here.” She said, pointing at Kokichi, who pouted, “You fought me, all your friends, Danganronpa and the world itself, to be here in this living room with him. I won’t say you have to honor that in your new life. But you might want to stick around long enough to at least understand why the previous Kaito had done all of that, before giving it all up. You owe yourself that.”
“I…” Kaito bit the inside of his cheek, thinking it over… before nodding uncertainly, “Okay. Alright, that makes sense. Sure. You’re convincing. You’re a good lawyer, huh?”
“I manage.” Maki said, putting down her mug and standing up, “Alright, I’m going to leave you two to talk this out more together. I have to go console my sobbing husband, Kokichi.” Maki said, glaring at Kokichi, who looked away sheepishly, “Kaito… you have my number. Call me if you do end up needing a hotel tonight. I won’t try to talk you out of it a second time. I’ll help move you out of here.”
Kokichi closed his eyes, scrunching over his mug defensibly.
“Okay.” Kaito said softly, watching Maki head to the door.
It clicked shut behind her, and the two men sat in silence.
“…” Kokichi stared at the coffee table between them.
“I want to know what’s in that room.” Kaito said.
“Nothing that matters anymore.” Kokichi mumbled.
“Let me be the judge of that, because apparently whatever it was was so important that you started acting like a jackass the second I brought it up,” Kaito said, “You were fine before that. Quiet, a little awkward, but the second I brought up that door? It was like you were a different person. Someone I would not want to be with.”
“You don’t know what that does to me, hearing you say things like that.” Kokichi said tensely, squeezing his eyes shut, “Kaito… I don’t know what this is going to take. And it’s terrifying to think about it.”
“What ‘what’ is going to take?”
“You falling in love with me again!” Kokichi said, putting his mug down and running his hand through his curls, “I don’t know… I don’t even really understand why you fell in love with me the first time! You hated me! We fought all the time, we had blow-up fights like these every other month, no one wanted us together! People threw interventions for you, trying to get you away from me!”
“…so,” Kaito frowned, “Why did I stay?”
“I don’t know!?” Kokichi said, running his hands over his face, “I mean… the last few years have been better! Especially after I finally got out of my contract, it’s been so much easier to not feel like I have to be a loud, vicious bully to people without people literally applauding me for every witty insult I can get out on camera. And I like to think I was better even before that, for a few years, when it was just us and I could be… sweet. Without it feeling like a disaster waiting to happen.”
Kokichi looked up, staring miserably at Kaito, “But those first few years? I have no idea. I was in the same camp as everyone else. I thought you were staying with me because killing me had broken something in you. That being with me was some sort of self-punishment for you. I had no idea why you stayed. I was just too selfish to make you leave.”
“….killed you?” Kaito asked.
“It doesn’t matter. Shuichi’s right, whatever happened in the game… it shouldn’t matter by this point. It was one month in seven years where we were all stuck on puppet strings. Even if it meant you’d love me again, you know… I’m glad you don’t remember the show? It’s the only silver lining to all of this.” Kokichi said, rubbing his temple, “…I just don’t know why else you stayed. I don’t know…”
“Do you think I fell in love with you because you acted like that?” Kaito asked.
Kokichi flinched.
“Because if that’s what this whole mornings been about?” Kaito frowned, “Don’t try that shit again, I can tell you now, I was not attracted to any of that. Whatever you did to draw me in last time, screaming insults at me and shoving me somewhere I couldn’t escape wasn’t it… wait, you keep making kidnapping jokes. Did you kidnap me in the game!?”
“…”
“Kokichi, whatever happened in the game, you can’t recreate it here.” Kaito said, looking around their cozy, warm house, even with it’s weird, seven foot tall clown butler statue, “This isn’t a place two guys barely holding back from attacking each other live. Whatever you and the Kaito from before had? It wasn’t what I saw this morning.”
“…you’re right,” Kokichi whispered, “We haven’t been like that in years. We were proud of that. Getting past that phase in our life. We never wanted to go back.”
“Right, so… so,” Kaito sighed, “What is our relationship like? If I’m staying, Kokichi? I need to know what I have to look forward to. Because it’s hard to see it right now.”
Kokichi nodded minutely… before he stood up, “Come on. Let me show the room.”
Kokichi led them upstairs to the door next to their bedroom, pulling out a key from his pocket and unlocking the padlock. Opening the door, Kokichi grimly stepped aside, letting Kaito inside.
It was a nursery. Freshly painted.
“…what?” Kaito whispered.
“Relax, a baby isn’t showing up tomorrow or anything.” Kokichi grumbled miserably, unable to bring himself to step into the nursery with Kaito, who was looking around in shocked silence, “We had started the interview process, and we’re in the stages of proving we have a nice place for a baby to live. We have an interview in three weeks to show this room off. Or… or we had an interview,” Kokichi glared at his feet, “…we’re probably not ready for a kid now. Not anymore.”
“But we’re not married.” Kaito said dully, “Isn’t it too soon for kids if we’re not married?”
“We’re gay, Kaito.” Kokichi said, rolling his eyes, “Well, I’m gay, you’re bi, but either way. We’re never getting married. We have a certificate, but…I dunno, it doesn’t mean much, legally. It was more you just wanting to have a nice party for us, telling me you love me and junk.”
“…do we have a video of that?” Kaito asked, looking back at Kokichi from the center of the nursery, for the first time looking truly…something. Disturbed. “Of the party?”
“I’m not lying about it.” Kokichi said, “We have tons of video on it.”
“No, I’m not saying you’re lying, I just,” that disturbed look again. Like Kaito, for the first time, was grappling with what exactly he had missed, losing the last seven years, “That sounds like a big deal. For us. I just want to see it.”
-
The videos were on a playlist online. “Unlisted,” Kokichi said, “All of our friends added videos they took too.”
And despite how Kokichi had tried to downplay it, the playlist had been clearly called, in all caps KOKICHI&KAITO WEDDING PLAYLIST!!! CONGRATS!
“Kaede put together the playlist for us.” Kokichi explained, like that was the question Kaito had, staring at the ‘wedding’ title.
Kaito started to click through random videos in the list. There was a lot of them, all from different channel names. Their guests, all uploading their handheld videos in their own names, all unlisted.
Kaito hadn’t entirely remembered who ‘Kaede’ was until she showed up on screen, in a pretty pink dress and beaming happily as she said into the camera, “Hold it steady, Rantaro! Okay, okay, Kaito! Kokichi! I’m pretty sure you’re making out in the bouncy castle right now, so while you’re gone, I wanted to film a toast! And I wanted to tell you how excited I am for you, and how proud—”
Kaito paused the video, looking at Kokichi, “Bouncy castle?”
“I wanted a bouncy castle!” Kokichi insisted… before smirking, “It was a good choice. She’s right…for the most part. We were in there.”
Kaito’s ears reddened, and wanting to banish the surprising amount of fluster that ‘for the most part’ came with, he clicked on a different video.
“YA-HAHAHA!” A woman—Angie, Kokichi explained—from behind the camera cackled, watching as Kokichi shoved some cake into Kaito’s face, “That’s right! Get ‘em, brother!”
Kaito on the screen had looked briefly surprised, before smirking, grabbing Kokichi before he could escape backwards and, pulling him into a hug, smooshing his cake-covered face against a squealing Kokichi’s.
Kaito couldn’t help but stare at himself in the video. The Kaito on the video didn’t look miserable, grappling with never being an astronaut and his life being a lie. He seemed thrilled. Stepping back as Maki with even shorter hair than she had now went over to cut more pieces of the cake for everyone, draped over Kokichi’s shoulders as he thanked ‘Maki-roll’.
He couldn’t seem to stop touching Kokichi. As he clicked through more videos, watching a large man Kaito recognized as Gonta wept his joy for the happy day on camera, a woman with lazy, amused eyes giving tongue-in-cheek honeymoon advice before she was interrupted by a blond woman Kaito hadn’t met yet but had seen over video chat in the hospital, saying she had left gifts in their room that would REALLY REV UP their honeymoon night… every time the cameras came back to him and Kokichi? Kaito was touching Kokichi. Holding his hand, draped around him, kissing him.
Like Kaito couldn’t get enough of him.
Happy.
…Kokichi looked happy too. Happier than Kaito had seen him this week.
“I can see why you freaked out.” Kaito suddenly whispered, “This has been hard on you.”
Kokichi seemed to wince at that, looking away, “Well, I didn’t just lose seven years of my life—”
“But you kind of did, didn’t you.” Kaito realized, pausing the videos, looking at Kokichi with a frown, “You just lost the guy who did all of this stuff with you. Who experienced the game with you and got past it, had a wedding with you, was in the process of having kids with you… you know.”
Kaito swallowed, scratching the back of his neck, “You’re really scary to me, right now.”
“I know I shouldn’t have pushed you out to the balcony—”
“No, not just that. Not even locking up the nursery to keep me from seeing it. Both of those sucked, yeah, but they weren’t what scared me.” Kaito said, “The very first thing I remember? My first, real memory? Was watching you attack that girl. You looked like you were trying to literally claw her eyes out. I had no idea where I was, who you were, I was just suddenly standing in this random crowd with no idea what was going on, and you were covered in blood…”
“I’m sorry.” Kokichi whispered… before saying stiffly, “For scaring you. Not for attacking her. She hurt you. I don’t regret hurting her back for a second.”
“Yeah, but… what I’m saying is, you did that because she attacked your husband.” Kaito realized, “Attacked the guy you’re trying to have kids with… that’s a whole different thing, than just being some stranger attacking some girl in the street. That context? It changes that memory. I get why you lost it. I…” Kaito stared at the Kaito on the screen, who was staring at Kokichi like his eyes were full of stars, clearly absolutely smitten in that moment, “…I’d have lost it too, if it were you.”
Kokichi nodded lightly, swallowing… before his eyes welled up with tears. Biting his lower lip as he seemed furious for a moment, like he was trying to get his face under control, before throwing his head into his palms. “ Fuck. I used to be good at this! I hate this! I want to stop crying!”
Kaito frowned as the man wailed into his hands beside him, and while in many ways Kokichi, despite all of this, really was still a stranger to Kaito… Kaito still wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close, hugging him to his chest, “I’m sorry.”
“I-It’s not your fault! It’s her fault! It’s all ruined because of her!” Kokichi wailed into Kaito’s chest, “It’s all ruined!”
Kaito felt his own eyes redden, and he closed them. Grieving a life he couldn’t remember. But one that, yeah, had definitely happened as he held Kokichi tight to himself.
(And… wasn’t that odd?)
(How familiar it felt?)
“It’s not ruined.” Kaito whispered, “It’s just… we’re set back. But it seems like we’re naturals, at figuring it out when the odds are stacked against us. It’s not ruined.”
“I don’t want to trap you.” Kokichi whimpered into Kaito’s shirt, even as he clutched at the fabric, “I don’t want to kidnap you. That wasn’t supposed to be us, anymore. I don’t want to go back to being that person!”
“Hey, look…” Kaito frowned, pushing Kokichi back by his shoulders lightly, to look down at him, “I don’t know much anymore, I’ll admit. But I know how to call for cabs and where to find an ATM to grab some cash—”
“No one uses cabs or paper money anymore,” Kokichi wobbled miserably, “Danganronpa’s memory implants put us all back fifty years, technology wise. There’s a tutorial video they show us to try to catch us up. I’ll find it so you can watch it.”
“…okay, I have Maki’s number. I can call her for help. My point is,” Kaito frowned, “I’m not going to stay unless I want to. You’re not going to kidnap me. I really could have scaled down the cliffside beneath the balcony, if I had really been determined to!”
“Please don’t do that you’re going to hurt yourself, your bones are so thin. ” Kokichi grumbled, wiping his eyes, “I’m not going to do that again. I was panicking. I’m sorry.”
“You’re not kidnapping me.” Kaito said, refusing to be distracted, “I’m not a captive here. I’ll leave if it gets like this morning again, but… I’m trusting you that it won’t. That we really are past all of that. And we’ll figure out how all of this is going to work. It’s not ruined.”
Kokichi wiped his eyes again, sniffing, “…I’m sorry, Kaito. I’m supposed to be the strong one right now. But I’m so scared. I’ve been scared all week.”
“Well, you managed it till this morning.” Kaito grinned, brushing Kokichi’s tears aside with his thumb (another oddly familiar motion), “…look, I’m actually starving. You said you had ordered my favorite food?”
Kokichi nodded, and with a breath, stood up. Leading Kaito back to the kitchen.
It wasn’t…perfect, after that. But as they ate their food, and night turned to day, and day turned to days, they didn’t have another morning like that first morning back.
And while Kaito’s memories never returned—same way they never had for Daichi—there were things that felt second-nature to him. He knew how to take care of the plants in the house without needing any instructions, following muscle memory of how much to water them and plucking their leaves to keep them healthy. He knew how to use the oven and the bath faucets and the laundry machine. He fell back into routine that he hadn’t realized the old Kaito had already established for him.
Talking to Kokichi got easier over time too. The two discussing their future at first, sure, but then over time just talking about their days. Watching shows together. Debating if they should watch ‘The’ show, putting it off for now. Getting to a good place where they could just talk about nothing much together.
Touching Kokichi had felt natural. Not a lot. Nowhere near as much as Kokichi wanted him to, Kaito knew. Small steps.
But brushing past him on the way into the kitchen to get coffee felt nice.
Leaning against him during a long movie felt comfortable.
And one day, while they were standing at the balcony, watching the neighbor kids play in the playground in the park down below… Kaito had tried holding Kokichi’s hand.
And he had known why the original Kaito had fallen in love, feeling the way Kokichi’s hand fit into his own.