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It was a day like any other for Horrid Henry and a normal day for him was being yelled at by his mum for being mildly disobedient and being severely punished for it by his mother as his dad stood there and let his wife berate their oldest son for being mildly distracted from doing his homework. He’d even join his wife in the berating sometimes, but not today. It seemed like this time he was just content on watching. His punishments this time were pretty run of the mill for him. Sent to his room early and no tea.
“It's not fair!” Henry thinks to himself. They’d never punish Perfect Peter for getting a little distracted from his homework, or anything else for that matter. And it was a Friday! He had the entire weekend to get it done. Although they would probably make Peter think he’d be banished from the family for getting a less than perfect score on it, or not finishing it fifteen minutes after he got home. He can’t help but feel bad for the worm in that regard.
He’s supposed to be doing his homework right now in fact, but he’s not just to spite his putrid parents. He turns to Fang and says “Oh Fang, at least you’ll always be there for me,” he gets Fang out of his cage to pet him.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Fang responds in his weirdly deep voice as he sits on Henry’s hand. Henry continues to pet Fang for a while. Until he hears a strange thumping on his window. He wonders what it could be.
A tree branch knocking against his window? His imagination? A real alien invasion? He turns his head in time to see a small pebble banging against his window pane, “Well that’s strange,” he says to Fang. Henry immediately goes to investigate. Only to see Rude Ralph standing in his backyard armed with a bunch of pebbles.
Henry immediately opens it up to see his best friend in the whole wide world, “Ralph!? What are you doing here?”
“To see you, duh. I would’ve used the normal way, but your mum told me you were being punished. What was it this time?”
“I got distracted from doing my homework.”
Genuinely baffled and confused Ralph says, “Really, that’s it?”
“Yeah!” Henry is properly angry again, “And now I’m stuck in my room without tea!” Ralph can’t help the pain his heart feels when Henry says that. He knows how often his parents deny Henry food as punishment, so Ralph makes sure whenever Henry comes over to his house that his pantry is stocked with food Henry likes.
Why, even right now Ralph’s hoodie pockets are full of Henry’s favorite crisps, “Hey Henry if you’re hungry I got some crisps in my pockets! I can throw them up!”
Henry thinks for a moment before he says, “Nah, I got a better idea. Wait there,” Ralph of course starts to wait and hopes he won’t be caught by Henry’s putrid parents, or even Moody Margaret. She lives right next door after all. He doesn’t think he will though the kitchen window faces out to the backyard and he doesn’t see Henry’s mom, whatever her name is.
He doesn’t know nor does he want to learn. Why would he want to know the name of the woman who hurts his cru- his best friend. He can also hear the muffled noises of a cello, so it seems she was watching the child she actually loves play an instrument he doesn’t even like all that much. Ralph was so lost in thought he didn’t even notice the dangling rope made of bedding until a couple of seconds after it drops.
He was so confused. Eventually Henry had to say, “Well, aren’t you gonna start climbing?” Ralph gives the line a firm tug to test it, it holds. So, the boy in red starts climbing. When he reaches Henry’s window, he realizes his face is only a couple of centimeters from Henry’s. Hopefully Henry will think that the fact his face was as red as his hoodie was from the climbing of the rope.
Henry takes him by the hand and helps him the rest of the way through his room. Ralph looks around at all the dirty clothes and toys strewn about and says, “Geez, this place is a real pig’s stye Henry.”
Henry turns slightly red in embarrassment and a little in anger, “Well, not all of us can afford a live-in butler.”
“True, but let’s not dwell on that. What do you want to do?” Ralph will cheer up Henry if it kills him.
Henry’s stomach growls, “I wanna eat those crisps,” Ralph quickly takes them out of his hoodie pocket and Henry just as quickly snatches them from the other boy’s hands. Henry eats them like he hasn't eaten in hours, and knowing what Henry's parents are like that’s a distinct possibility. Ralph isn’t even mad there are none left for him, he’s just glad he knows Henry has eaten something.
“So... now what do we do?” Ralph asks his favorite person.
“Hmm,” he looks around the room. His eyes land on Fang in his cage. A lightbulb goes off in his head, “Eureka! That’s it!” Henry’s whole demeanor brightens up.
Feeling the new energy from his crush, he just can’t deny it any longer Rude Ralph loves Horrid Henry, he matches it and becomes just as excited as Henry, “What!? What’s it?!”
“We could make an obstacle course for Fang!”
“That’s a brilliant idea Henry!”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Fang chimes in with his own agreement.
The boys get to work, stacking books, making mazes with clothes, and using a ruler Henry was supposed to be using for his homework as a bridge. When it's done both boys are so proud of their handiwork. Henry laughs, a noise Ralph could never forget, and he says “Great job Ralph! Making that ruler a bridge really tied the whole thing together!”
“Oh please, making your dirty floor clothes into a maze is clearly the best part,” Henry takes Ralph’s hands in his own, rubs them and speaks.
“Hey now Ralphie, don’t sell yourself short. You have wonderful ideas. I’ve seen your sketchbook; all those clothes look so cool. I’d totally wear those boots and that jacket to a Killer Boy Rats concert,” Ralph is over the moon right now. He remains in his trance when Henry lets go of his hands to get Fang, so he can run the obstacle course, entirely oblivions to what his best friend and favorite person is feeling.
‘Ralphie!? He just called me Ralphie!’ Ralph is elated to receive a nickname from Henry. He’ll have to return the favor sometime.
Henry can’t help but notice the way Ralph looks right now, like he’s in some sort of trance, “Hey, Ralph you ok there?”
“Oh, I’m just lovely right now Henny,” still in a daze.
“Oh... ok then. Are you ready Ralph?”
“I’m ready for anything you want Henry.”
“Uh ok,” Henry says confused at his friend’s strange behavior and the ‘Henny’ thing, “Are you ready Fang?”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” with his confirmation from his beloved pet hamster Henry places Fang at the starting line and just like a bullet the little rodent is off. Although only Henry is watching Fang. Ralph’s eyes are glued to Henry.
First up on the obstacle course is just the flat surface of Henry’s bed. At the foot of Henry’s bed is a stair case made from LEGOs, Fang has no problem climbing down it. On the floor is where the maze starts. Fang agilely runs between the dirty clothes, zipping this way and that. He only took a few wrong turns.
When the brown hamster is out of maze of finds himself in front of a book. It's not that thick, so Fang can easily climb up it. When he climbs on it, he sees other books only a few centimeters away from each other. Fang gets the memo and starts jumping the small gaps from book to book.
Fang than comes across the ruler bridge, its suspended by two books. He’s a rather chunky hamster cause unlike Henry’s parents Henry feeds him, so it's more like a tight rope to him. Although he isn’t gonna dissapoint Henry or himself, so he starts crossing it. When he comes to the end of the other end of the ruler, he notices the words ‘FINISH’ on a piece of homework. It appears that his owner used his homework as the finish line.
The second Fang crosses the finish line Henry starts to cheer, “Give it up for the greatest hamster in the world! Fang!” Henry isn’t too loud because he doesn’t want to get caught. He’d be banned from tea for the rest of his life if his parents found out Ralph was over without their permission. He picks up Fang, pets him and puts him back in his cage for the night. He went straight to sleep, the obstacle course really tired him out.
Speaking of Ralph, Henry finally noticed Ralph was staring at him. Quite intensely too, “Um watchya doin there Ralph?”
Nervously Ralph turns his head from Henry. He looks more like Anxious Andrew than Rude Ralph. Henry can clearly tell something is wrong, “Ok Ralph, what’s wrong?”
“Huh? What do you mean, mate? Nothing's wrong?” ‘Oh no, Henry’s noticed how weird I’ve been around him. I used to be so good at hiding it, what’s changed?’ Ralph thinks and thinks, ‘My feelings for Henry have only been growing and growing. Maybe that’s it?’
Ralph is pulled from his thoughts when Henry says his name, “Ralph? Are you alright?”
He can’t let Henry know. It could ruin their friendship, “Yeah mate, I’m fine.”
Filled with concern since Ralph is bright red right now, he checks again, “Are you sure?”
“Sure, I’m sure.” Ralph tries to seem confident, but fails miserably. He knows Henry would see through it instantly. So, he deflects with his rudeness, “Just shut up Henry, you have no clue what you’re talking about.”
Henry doesn’t believe or even bat an eye at the comment. Just like Ralph assumed. Instead, he grows more and more concerned for his best friend, “Look Ralph if something is wrong, we can fix it together.”
Ralph starts to feel guilty about lying to the boy he loves and his rude remark, “I don’t think we can. There’s a chance if I tell you why I’m acting like this way you’ll never wanna talk to me ever again. And I don’t want that.”
“Nonsense. We are members of the purple hand gang and best friends to boot. There is NOTHING that’ll stop me from being your friend. Not my putrid parents, not the teachers separating us, not even whatever is making you act this way. Now please, please, please tell me what’s wrong, so I can help you fix it.”
Ralph just stands there amazed at what just came out of Henry’s mouth. How could he not have a crush on Henry especially after something like that. It's now or never. Ralph takes a big breath in, lets it out and says, “I love you.”
“Really? That’s it? I love you too, man.” Henry says nonchalantly. Like it’s the easiest thing in the world for him to admit he loves Rude Ralph.
“No, no, I mean I’m IN love with you. Romantically.”
Confused Henry says, “I love you too, but we’re both boys? How does that work?”
Ralph can’t help but laugh. Of course that’s what Henry would focus on, “Hahaha, it’s called being gay Henry. I am gay and in love with you,” Ralph says earnestly.
“Wait you can do that? Boys can like other boys? Well, I think I finally understand why I like the Fearless Phantom so much.”
Ralph continues to laugh and laugh, “HAHAHA, of course that’s the first thing you’d say. Well since you can’t date a fictional superhero how about you date me?”
“Huh really? You like me that much?”
“of course I do! You’re wonderful”
“But everyone always says I’m horrid.”
“Well, they’re wrong. You’re kind, funny, and come up with the most brilliant plans. And schemes. Who cares if you’re bad at school? School isn’t everything. So, I’ll ask again. Horrid Henry, would you like to be my boyfriend?”
“Yes!” With that Ralph jumps into Henry’s arms and gives him a peek on the cheek.
They were both so happy, only for the moment to be ruined by a shrill shriek, “HENRY! It's time for bed! Lights out!”
Henry checks the clock on his end table and sure enough it is his bed time. It’s also dark and rainy outside. Henry doesn’t want to make his new boyfriend walk home in that mess so, with Ralph still in his arms he asks, “Hey, wanna spend the night? We can squeeze onto my bed.”
Ralph smiles and says “Yes,” so there the rude and horrid boys lay on the all too small bed. Ralph is essentially on top of Henry with his head nuzzled onto the boy’s chest to make fitting both of them on the twin sized bed easier. Henry’s arms are wrapped around Ralph’s middle. They don’t mind the tight fit at all, in fact they welcome it.