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“What the fuck are you eating?”
“Uhh,” He Tian looks up from his spread of instant noodles, an unpeeled boiled egg, a half pack of Hot Cheetos, a banana, and two Monster drinks all bought from the convenience store a block away from their apartment. “Girl dinner?”
“A what ?” Mo Guan Shan looks at He Tian like he just spoke another language as he puts down the bag of groceries on the kitchen counter.
“You know,” He Tian makes a vague waving motion with his hand that’s not submerged inside the Cheetos packet. “Girl dinner.”
Mo Guan Shan stares at him like he’s gone crazy—which, to be fair, is a look he gives He Tian at least once a day since they’ve known each other.
“Girl dinner! From TikTok! How can you not know what girl dinner is?!”
“You keep saying that like it actually means something.” The condescending look Mo Guan Shan shoots He Tian is enough to put a lesser man to shame.
But! He Tian is not, and therefore, undeterred. Besides, he gets that look from Mo Guan Shan often enough that he’s built up an immunity. So, he just puts down his chopsticks, licks his hands clean of Cheetos dust, and pulls out his phone to open TikTok.
“Wait. Lemme show you. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of girl dinner. It’s all over TikTok.”
“And what the hell is a TikTok?”
“Ah, sorry. I meant, Douyin. TikTok is just what they call it in the states.”
“If it’s the same then just fucking say Douyin.”
“Whatever. Come here and watch this.”
Mo Guan Shan walks to where He Tian is seated on the couch. He’s pulls up a video and in it, the person is eating…a macaroni and cheese in a wine glass. What the hell. The audio is in English but Mo Guan Shan has taken enough lessons to understand what it's saying, and then it’s followed by a ridiculous tune of someone singing the words 'girl dinner' over and over.
He Tian scrolls to more videos and all of them are just food combinations that get more and more appalling to Mo Guan Shan.
A half-eaten sandwich and a glass of chocolate milk, coleslaw and beer, chicken nugget dinosaurs and a couple of cheese cubes. He even saw one that was just a slice of cold pizza and her…anti-depressants—as toppings.
“What the fuck.”
“See, the idea is it’s not a full meal,” He Tian explains. “Just whatever you have that you can eat because it’s just dinner anyway.”
“Yeah, I got that,” Mo Guan Shan says and repeats, “What the fuck.”
“You have to admit though. In fairness to me, I’m eating way better than these people,” He Tian says as he scrolls through his feed, shoveling more Hot Cheetos into his mouth. “I mean, now that I think about it, this isn’t actually girl dinner at all! I’ve got carbs, protein, sugars—hell, I even have a fruit. This is basically a full-course meal, yeah?
Mo Guan Shan’s eyes look between He Tian and the spread he has on the coffee table before once again leveling him with a stare that implies he’s gone insane. He’s not sure if he’s being serious or messing with him because He Tian’s relationship with food has always been weird in Mo Guan Shan’s opinion.
“He Tian, you’re—” He sighs before returning to the kitchen. “Swear to god you went overseas for a couple of years and you got whitewashed.”
“Wha—” He Tian stops mid-chew of his noodles. “Whitewashed? This was how I ate before I met you!”
The pitying look Mo Guan Shan shoots him this time offends him, He Tian’s not gonna lie.
Mo Guan Shan honestly has no idea how He Tian kept himself alive before he started making him cook for him. He packs away the groceries before starting on dinner prep. A proper dinner. Not that idiotic girl dinner bullshit He Tian is stuffing himself up with. Fucking idiot.
He starts cutting up some vegetables for a quick stir fry after turning on the rice cooker and seasoning some chicken cutlets he plans to grill. He rolls his eyes when he looks up and sees He Tian is still eating his stupid girl dinner meal but at least he’s eating the banana now.
“If you’ve still got an appetite after that junk you just ate you’re welcome to join me for a real dinner.”
“I always have room for your cooking. You know that.”
“Alright.”
“You need help or anything?”
“Nah. It’s fine. This will be done quick. Just set the table when I tell you to.”
“Copy that.”
It’s silent then save for He Tian scrolling through his phone and watching videos. Every now and then, something will make him chuckle and Mo Guan Shan will feel his phone vibrate in his pocket, which means He Tian has sent those videos to him. Later, they’ll lay in bed and He Tian will watch those videos again with him and laugh all over.
The rice cooker timer goes off just as Mo Guan Shan turns off the stove. He Tian throws his trash and tucks his phone away to set the table.
“Why are you eating that shit anyway?” Mo Guan Shan asks as he scoops rice onto their bowls.
“There wasn’t anything in the fridge I could make when I got home. I wasn’t sure what time you’d be back and you weren’t answering your phone.”
“I was in line at the cashier. Couldn’t pick up.”
“Well, you weren’t home and I was hungry. So.”
“Well, I’m here now so quit eating shit like you’re a broke college student. You’re not eating girl meal—”
“Girl dinner.”
“—or whatever the fuck you call that garbage. Not in my fucking kitchen you're not.”
“Alright, alright. Geez. So strict, Little Mo.”
“Tch. For such a picky eater you eat absolute trash. I thought I trained that out of you by now.”
“What am I a dog?”
“Nah. I’ve seen dogs who eat better than you.”
“Oh, like that one lady who has two huskies? Yeah, I’ve seen her videos. Those dogs eat like kings. I mean, prime-cut steaks every day? Fuck.”
“Shit. I know, right? And she even cooks them too like—”
The rest of dinner is spent idly chatting. Mo Guan Shan puts more vegetables in He Tian’s bowl, which he eats without complaints because he knows it makes him happy. After dinner, He Tian washes the dishes while Mo Guan Shan makes them tea and thinks about dishes he can stock the fridge with that He Tian can just heat up whenever he gets hungry.
They fall asleep scrolling through the videos He Tian has sent Mo Guan Shan throughout the day.