Archive of Our Own ^beta

"Hey, Shepard! What's for dinner?"

"This one wonders if you consider yourself fortunate?"

"Oh, no... you're kidding, right?"

"What? You must have been talking to Joker too. Didn't he tell you about the new hanar Chinese restaurant?"

"Some words just don't belong in the same sentence, Shepard. Hanar and restaurant might be a good example of that."

"C'mon, Kaidan, where's your sense of culinary adventure? Admit it, it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. And it's in Zakera ward.... must be aimed at the tourist traffic."

'You really want to try it, don't you?"

"Yeah. It could be fun. At worst, it's another mediocre noodle shop."

"All right, then. You're on. Tell me I won't regret this in the morning."

"Looks like this must be it – This One's Golden Dragon Noodles.

"Yeah... look, there's a menu screen propped up in the window. Looks like they lifted a menu from a Chinese strip-mall place in Saskatchewan - from the mid-twentieth century."

"The hanar respect and value tradition, Kaidan. Maybe that extends to their food offerings."

"I guess. Pick one from Column A and one from Column B... haven't seen that in a while. Okay, let's give it a try."

"See, this wasn't so bad. The noodles were spicier than I expected. Although maybe I asked for it by ordering it as the 5-torch Enkindle this! option. Not up to Grunt's standards, but that's hard to meet."

"Speak for yourself, Shepard. I'm still trying to figure out just what the 'beef' is that went into the Szechwan beef with Kahje flavor."

"Probably better not to ask."

"Either I'm going to have one hell of a migraine soon, or the way the lights are all blurring together is a side-effect of some hanar mushroom. They looked like shiitake..."

The hanar waiter drifts over to our table with a dessert menu in one tentacle and a bottle of opalescent purple liqueur in another.

"May this one offer the esteemed Spectres an after-dinner drink? Or perhaps something from the dessert offerings?"

He pauses with what passes for dramatic flair for a hanar and lowers his voice to a whisper. "For special guests, slices of mindfish might be offered."

Remembering Thane telling me about the hanar intoxicant and its effect on other species, I decline for us both. I don't have a couple of days to spend being out of it right now.

"No, thank you."

"Wait, Shepard... no dessert? That's just not right. Can we at least get a couple of fortune cookies?"

The hanar gestures with another available tentacle. "It will be this one's pleasure. Are these others feeling fortunate?"

I guess he has a sense of humor after all, if he's quoting Blasto.

"Very fortunate. Two cookies, please. And maybe a cup of tea for me. Kaidan?"

"No thanks. I'll stick with the beer."

"Okay, these must be imported from Earth. They even smell like real fortune cookies. And they have the little paper strips sticking out of the fold."

"You first, Kaidan. What does yours say?"

He nearly chokes on the beer he just swallowed. It takes a few moments before he recovers enough to read it aloud. "A handsome stranger awaits. Enkindle this!"

"Really? You're not making that up? That's classic! And it seems like a good idea... though I think we're a little beyond the 'handsome stranger' stage."

"You'll do, Shepard. Yeah. You'll do."

He watches as I break open my cookie and unfold the strip of lavender paper. Prepared for another laugh, I read and reread it before sharing it aloud. "Land is always on the mind of a flying bird."

"Does that sound like hanar philosophy to you?"

"I don't know. Thane told me that the hanar had some surprising depths... including their poets."

"It seems to suit you, Shepard."

As I hesitate, considering, Kaidan reaches over the table to take my hand. "I guess. Maybe so – Tuchanka, Rannoch... Thessia..."

"Earth."

"Yeah, always Earth. Even when I try not to see it as we left it... it's never far from my mind"

Kaidan squeezes my hand tightly. "I know."

I try to shake off the mood shift, determined not to let the Reapers hijack our shore leave. "I like your fortune better, Alenko. Let's go home and see what we can do about enkindling something."

The hanar proprietor stops us just as we're about to leave. "This one hopes the others were pleased."

I nod to the hovering being. "This one was very pleased. We feel very fortunate."

Kaidan is leaning heavily against me as I wrap an arm around his waist to steady him while we call a cab to go back to the apartment.

"That doesn't mean we have to eat here often does it? I'm still not so sure about those mushrooms..."

"Only if you want to, Kaidan. I like your cooking better anyway... you can make that Canadian delicacy of yours for me anytime."

"Okay then... we'll need more bacon."