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Himiko would have thought they’d be together by now.
Yes, admittedly it was true that Dabi and Hawks had tried to kill each other the first time they met. And the time after that. And- well, that had been the case pretty much every time the pair interacted for an entire month.
But in time, antagonism had given way to an unspoken agreement that allowed for tolerant coexistence, which had shifted further into a dysfunctional friendship-of-sorts filled with day-to-day married-couple-style banter.
Yet here they were, stuck in this stasis, constantly dancing around each other, neither probably even aware of his own feelings. Whenever Himiko asked one of them about it, they would clam up or brush it off as the other person ‘just being silly.’
It was so obvious it was painful. It made Himiko want to tear her hair out.
“Hey, Dabi,” Himiko singsonged one afternoon as Dabi strolled into the bar and immediately flopped onto the couch. “How was your date with Hawksie?”
Dabi let out a long sigh. “How many times do you have to be told that it’s not a date?” he asked, crossing his arms and glaring at Himiko from his sprawled-out position.
Himiko let out a matching sigh, though for a completely different reason: the obliviousness was driving her absolutely crazy.
“And he’s utterly insufferable, thank you very much.”
“How so?” Himiko questioned him in return, knowing exactly how the conversation was going to go. Dabi would make some dumb excuse, pinning the supposed idiocy on Hawks. Midway through, he’d drop in an offhand comment about how Hawks was annoyingly good at this or that. Finally, he’d storm off to his room to sulk (more like pine) in peace.
Dabi lived up to her expectations.
“Today we were flying back from his apartment because the stupid bird forgot his gloves or something, and he did this awful dip all of a sudden, sending us into a fancy spinning thing just so he could show off his flying skills and bring us back up.”
Himiko patted him on the back, jumping back just in time to avoid the small burst of flame that Dabi sent her way.
“And then what?” she prodded. “Did you at least enjoy it?”
Dabi rolled his eyes. “It didn’t suck. I didn’t die.”
Himiko’s jaw dropped. “You enjoyed it!” she exclaimed. “You’re admitting that you enjoyed it!”
“No.”
It was at that moment that Hawks strolled in through the door, large bags of takeout in his hands. “Honey, I’m home!” he called out.
The sheer domesticity of it all made Himiko grin giddily at the two not-yet-lovers. She couldn’t imagine how they were still so oblivious — they were practically already dating. Or more accurately yet, already married.
“Hawksie!” she exclaimed, skipping over to stand in front of him. “What’d you get for us tonight?”
Hawks smiled. “Oh, just regular old Italian barbeque. Spending the Commission’s money, as usual. It’s just- I figured we could all just get the same massive group order and then sit down and eat together — you know, like a family.”
Himiko’s heart swelled at the words. A family.
Her real family hadn’t been much of a family at all, but the League more than made up for it. The crazy late-night feral game sessions, the frenzied social media spamming, the stupid fanfics she wrote where she could project their real-life interactions onto other characters — she wouldn’t trade them for the world. They were her world.
A sudden, brilliant thought occurred to her.
Speaking of family… what if Dabi and Hawks became my dads?!? Omg, that would be adorable! A dream come true!
She turned the thought over in her mind as Hawks began to preheat up the oven so that the barbeque would be kept hot while they waited for the rest of the League to join. All throughout their chaotic dinner (in which a nonzero number of cannibalism jokes was made by both Hawks and Dabi) she considered the possibilities. They had so much potential for co-parenting…
She just needed to get them to confess. Then her dream family could be even better.
But how… just how could she engineer a situation for them to just spit it out?
~~~
She had the best idea.
She would convince them to steal a car! And during the big dramatic car chase, one of them would think he was going to die, and in order to avoid having any regrets, he would confess! It was perfect!
Only… she had underestimated things a little bit.
After nabbing Endeavor’s one million yen luxury car that had been parked right outside (seriously, it had been asking to be stolen, how much easier could a target get?), they were currently in the getaway car, Himiko in the back seat, Hawks in the passenger side front seat, and Dabi in the driver’s seat (Dabi and Hawks’ roles had been swapped up until thirty seconds ago, when Dabi finally decided that Hawks’ driving was volumes worse than his flying).
“I’m going to kill you for this,” Dabi was yelling as the car hit a nasty road bump at full speed. “Both you, Hawks, and you, Toga! I will murder you both!” He attempted to negotiate a curve, but failed to slow down enough, and the car skidded wildly before he was able to regain control.
“You know, your driving isn’t much better than mine, Hot Stuff!” Hawks screeched in reply as they were all violently slammed to the left by inertia and the centripetal force.
Himiko wasn’t sure why she had thought this would be a good idea to spark a confession. The only things they were shooting at each other were death threats.
Although… threats were a form of love too, weren’t they? Especially in Dabi and Hawks’ unconventional case? Yes, that was probably right.
“Your driving was going to murder us all before I got the chance!” Dabi shot back. “Stupid bird, I’m the only one who gets to hurt or kill you!”
“Love you too!” Hawks cried.
Dabi’s hands froze on the steering wheel and he snapped his head to the side, staring at Hawks in total absolute shock. “Wha-”
Hawks cut him off with a shout. “Look out-!”
Startled back into action, Dabi spun the steering wheel frantically, so that they narrowly avoided death by tree collision.
Endeavor’s luxury car, however, was not so lucky. When the three of them got out to examine the damage, they found that the exterior was completely demolished. Tree branches, thorny bushes, and all kinds of organic matter was embedded deep into the once-polished paint, the windshield was severely cracked (having hit a larch branch), and one tire was torn to shreds.
“Mission accomplished,” Dabi said, nodding in satisfaction, although he was clearly more than a little shaken. So Himiko’s plan had worked — the impromptu confession really did happen!
“Hey, wait.” Hawks leaned against the tree that they had crashed into, very much trying and failing to act suave. “You, uh, why’d you freeze?” he asked.
This is it. Finally, the culmination of all the pining. Finally, I get to watch them be lovebirds instead of stupid ‘just-friends.’
“What do you think?” Dabi spat. “You don’t just tell someone you love them and expect them not to freeze like that!”
Now it was Hawks’ turn to freeze. “I… so do you… I meant…”
“Well, I like you back, happy now?” Dabi snarked.
Instantaneous relief crossed Hawks’ face. “Yeah. I’m on top of the world — and you could be too, if you let me take you flying again sometime.”
Dabi’s lack of negative reply was a reply all in its own.