Chapter Text
For what felt like the umpteenth time since this whole thing had started, Collin found himself regretting having started a “business” with his friends Keenie and Cletus.
Yes, it had been fulfilling for a while— helping out the loved ones of Winners down on Earth —but it had gone so wrong so fast that Collin felt like his head was still reeling even months after the fact.
Their actions had— indirectly and completely unintentionally —led to someone’s death. Which in turn had caused them to be banned from Heaven without so much as a chance to say good-bye to their own loved ones— Gosh, Nana must be worried sick about him —leaving them stranded on Earth.
They’d had to steal in order to survive: tricking and deceiving so many of the people they had previously been trying to help that Collin felt sick just thinking about it. It almost felt as bad as when they had no food at all; their stomachs growling and aching while they huddled together in a soggy cardboard box they’d managed to wrestle away from some mangy raccoons.
Then they’d been captured by a human government organization that initially thought they were demons, of all things! Cletus lied to them— more lying- why why why?! —and claimed the three of them were actually exorcists sent to kill demons. Collin would have laughed if he wasn’t so terrified. Them? Exorcists? Cletus have you seen those women? They looked like they could take all three of them down with a single flap of a wing, if that!
But clearly these humans didn’t know that, because they believed them and gave them weapons and showed them a portal that went to Hell and said “Good luck!”
And Collin didn’t like I.M.P., he really didn’t— Murdering people?! Because someone paid you to?! —but he didn’t hate them so much that he wanted to go hunting them down— What would it solve? What would it change? They still wouldn’t be allowed back in Heaven! —but Keenie and Cletus insisted; just like they insisted he was the best at doing paperwork, and being a distraction for wild animals, and before Collin knew it they were in literal Hell on top of their metaphorical one.
Their first time in Hell went bad enough; aside from getting their collective butts handed to them, Collin had seen so many things being casually displayed in storefronts he was still having nightmares about them.
He’d argued the second time had gone even worse.
It’d barely been a week since the first time, and only because it had taken their wounds that long to heal. The humans hadn’t had more sets of armor ready for them yet, so instead they’d simply equipped them with guns and sent them back with encouragements that had gone in one of his ears and out the other he’d been so scared.
They’d found the imps and hellhound again— though their boss was nowhere in sight this time —and had gotten thrashed again, only somehow worse than last time. It almost felt like they were taking their frustrations about something out on them, they were so vicious.
They didn’t kill them— though Collin couldn’t fathom why —the hellhound simply chucking them towards a portal that they had conjured up. Cletus and Keenie had gone through just fine, but Collin found himself sailing straight past the portal— far larger than theirs had been and oddly shaped like violet diamonds? —bouncing, tumbling, and skidding along the pavement, until he’d come to a painful stop against a wall. He’d managed to shake off his disorientation just in time to watch as the portal closed with a ‘zip’.
It had taken him several moments to comprehend what had just happened, but once he did he started panicking; their device had been destroyed again and that had been his only way back to Earth!
He was trapped!
In Hell!
Collin spied I.M.P. gathering together on the street and for a moment briefly debated going and asking if they could open the portal again to properly end the fight, but they looked so mad still and their backs were to him- had they noticed him? He didn’t think so? And he couldn’t hear what words they were saying, but the hellhound was snarling and Collin-
Collin ran.
He ran until the numbness in his wings from hitting the side of a building finally went away and then he flew. He darted down the sidewalk, through this alley and that, sometimes bumping into demons because he’d risked a glance behind him; his quiet reflexive apologies obscured by their loud curses and threats. He moved until his back burned from the strain of flying so fast for so far, and then he moved some more.
Eventually he simply, ran out of energy; the last of it getting him halfway down a dingy looking alley in a maze of identical alleys, before he could go no further.
Gasping for air, foul smelling and tasting as it was, Collin banged shoulder first into a rusty dumpster, sliding down to the ground, not even feeling as it caught on his turtleneck and feathers.
It washed over him again, that he’d been separated— left behind in Hell —only the feelings were ten times worse than before without the adrenaline to distract him. His eyes flickered around the stained bricks and concrete all around him, trying to urge himself to get up, to keep moving-
But he couldn’t.
He just...couldn’t.
And it dawned on him that even if he could move so much as a feather, he didn’t have anywhere to go.
He was lost. So much more lost than he thought he already had been.
So, Collin did the only thing he could do.
He curled his knees into his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs and his wings around them-
And wept.
Razzle sighed, only half paying attention to the fight breaking out behind him as he finished bagging up groceries for the hotel. From the sounds of it, some dumbass new arrival was learning the hard way that retail workers in Hell could, and gleefully would, throw hands with anyone who showed them the slightest bit of disrespect while they were at work. In a world packed with killers, rapists, and cannibals, one simply did not try to pull a Karen on a store clerk; they were just built different.
Normally, when this happened— and it happened on every other shopping trip it seemed —he and Dazzle would pause their outing and place bets on which sinner would win...
He sighed again and placed the last bag on top of the already full cart, pushing it out the front of the store just in time to avoid a spray of blood.
Razzle arrived at the limo— miraculously with all the wheels still attached to it —and began the process of loading the bags into it. He focused extra hard on making sure each one was placed properly on the floor of the back; trying not to think about how it took twice as long as it used to, and was half as fun, and exactly why either of those reasons were occurring.
He was almost successful. Almost.
Returning the cart— unimpressed by the number of souls who hadn’t —Razzle was halfway back to the limo, when his nose caught a whiff of...something.
Something...sweet?
Razzle paused, hovering above the ground as he took a few more sniffs. Yup; definitely sweet. Almost like a bakery...
But the nearest bakery was blocks away; he’d just stopped there earlier. And this was coming from the opposite direction regardless.
Curiosity getting the better of him, Razzle followed the trail across the parking lot and to the mouth an alley that ran alongside the grocery store. A hot breeze wafted into his face and brought a fresh dash of the scent along with it, now with tones of— sniff-sniff —gunpowder?
His ears caught the sound of crying from farther in the alley; someone was definitely in there. Most likely right on the other side of the dumpster pushed up against one side.
Probably a trap, he thought, weighing his options. Aside from the dumpster, the alley was fairly empty, allowing him to see clear to the other end.
A dead end would have been more effective; maybe not a trap then? If it wasn’t, then the crying he was hearing could belong to someone who actually needed help.
Charlie wouldn’t like it if he went and did something reckless and got hurt in the process.
But she’d also wouldn’t like the idea of him leaving someone in need alone when he could have done something.
Nodding decisively, Razzle flapped his wings and rose up toward the roofs of the two buildings forming the alley. He was all for helping people, but he was also keen on keeping his skin intact; and he just had this suit cleaned!
Reaching the shorter of the two roofs, the small demon moved along the edge, peering down into the alley as he went. Drawing level with the dumpster, he was unsurprised to find that there was, in fact, someone tucked away beside it.
What did surprise him was, well; everything else.
They were small; his size, if he wasn’t mistaken. Though it was hard to tell for certain, curled up as they were. It was hard to even see most of their body, covered by their own feathery wings as they were; little hooves peeking out from underneath them. Razzle could just make out a pair of sheep-like ears poking out of a head of curly pale lavender colored hair. From where he stood on the roof, he noticed that the figure was putting off a soft glow long before the ring floating above their head caught his eye.
Razzle’s breath caught in his throat as he realized what he was looking at.
A halo.
An angel.
For a moment, all he could see and hear was that day. The last time he’d seen any angel besides Vaggie or Lucifer himself.
The last time he’d seen his brother-
Razzle shook his head, trying to quiet his own heart, and looked again. This was definitely some kind of angel, but they didn’t look like an exorcist. Certainly didn’t act like one either; he could count on one hand the number of times he’d seen Vaggie break down like this, and never in such a public place.
A Heavenborn then? He wondered, cocking his head, Maybe even a- What did they call humans souls in Heaven? Something pretentious- Winner, maybe?
Well, whatever they were, it was clear to the artificial demon that they were lost and probably in the need of some help.
Course of action decided, Razzle hopped off the edge of the roof, using his wings at the last moment to slow down just before he hit the ground. Moving slowly, he crouched in front of the small angel.
“Brep?” Are you okay? He asked, gently placing a hand atop a wing where he thought a shoulder would be.
They squeaked, head popping out from under their wings long enough for Razzle to catch sight of a muzzle to match the ears and a pair of wide eyes, before they dove back down again.
“P-Please-” they stuttered, shaking even harder than before, “-D-Don’t hurt me!”
Ah, poor little one’s terrified, Razzle frowned, unsure of what to do. While it was good to see that they were cautious of strangers— an invaluable habit in Hell —it did making helping them a little bit trickier. Razzle had long since learned that understanding his version of words was very much an acquired skill, and he couldn’t sign to them with their head ducked down like that.
So how in the name of Hell could he let them know he was only trying to help them?
Razzle chewed on the question for a moment before his eyes lit up with an idea.
He bleated to the angel to wait there— knowing they wouldn’t understand but wanting to let them know anyway —and zipped back to the limo, popping open the back door once again. After rummaging through the bags for a moment he found his prize; a box of donuts, fresh from the bakery!
They were still unopened too! Quite the feat, since usually when he and Dazzle shop they-
He paused, before shaking his head rapidly.
Not now. Help first; mope later.
Closing the door again, he returned to the alley, careful not to drop the box.
Landing in front of the angel, he went “Bep?” and held the now opened container towards them.
I hope this works...
Collin felt like he was going to completely lose it!
When he’d first felt the touch on his wing he’d had a split second hope that it was Keenie! Or Cletus! That they’d come back and found him and they could all go back to Earth now, which still wasn’t Heaven but gosh was it better than Hell-
Only to look up and find a demon staring at him.
Bad enough everything else had happened— the death, the banishment, being left behind —but now he’d been found by another demon!
It was only a quick look, before Collin had hidden his face in his arms yet again, but it was long enough for to see that this new demon wasn’t an imp; though he doubted that improved anything about the situation.
“P-Please! D-Don’t hurt me!” he managed to get out before his tears blocked him from saying anything else.
What am I going to do?! Collin thought panickingly, I dropped the gun the humans gave me! Can I summon my crossbow?! No- I’m so tired- I can’t! But if I don’t- What do I do-What do I do-What do I do?!
“Bep?” the demon went again, making Collin flinch. Was this it? Were claws or fangs about to rip into his flesh? Was this the end?! Was-
...Was that... donuts?
In spite of the wings and the snot undoubtedly clogging up his nose, the cherub could have sworn he could make out the scent of freshly baked donuts. But that didn’t make any sense?
Unless...
Slowly, biting his lip all the while, Collin raised his head just enough for his eyes to peek over his wings.
The demon was still there, surprising the angel even though he had literally just heard him make that odd noise again.
They were crouched on the ground in front of Collin, almost down to his current eye level. And there, in their hands, opened up towards him, was a box of donuts, in a wide variety of colors and glazes. Some even had sprinkles.
The demon... smiled softly at him, holding the box that much closer towards Collin with another small sound.
He...wants me to take one? Collin thought. ...Why? No. A trick. It’s gotta be!
Neither one of them moved for a minute or two. Collin kept waiting for something to happen: for the demon to grow impatient and simply attack him, but... He didn’t. He just stayed there, looking at him.
When it finally seemed to occur to the demon that Collin wasn’t going to move, he did frown for a moment before his face lit up again. Turning the box halfway towards himself, he picked up a donut— one with a pale red frosting that Collin belatedly realized matched of the color of his fur —and held it up for the angel to see. Seemingly waiting to make sure he had Collin’s attention, he made a show of taking a massive bite out of the treat, almost taking a third of it in his mouth in one go. Cheeks bulging, he chewed for a few seconds before swallowing hard enough that Collin could actually track the mouthful as it moved down his throat.
“Brep?” he went again— Bleating. He’s bleating. Like a goat. —holding the box towards the angel once more.
The message was clear: ‘It’s okay. These are safe. You can have one.’
But what if it was still all an act-
-Grmble-grm-
Collin blushed as he heard as much as felt his stomach grumbled. He’d been so nervous before the C.H.E.R.U.B.'s second venture into Hell that he’d barely eaten anything. Coupled with his mad flight through the city, and Collin realized that he was starving.
His eyes darted between the demon, the box and the delicious looking donuts held therein.
His mouth watered.
They...do look really good... And the demon had eaten one with no problem...
-Grm-grm-grmmmmm-
Swallowing hard, Collin slowly pulled his wings back, allowing his arm to unwrap from around his knees. He inched his hand forward- only to flinch backwards when he caught the demon’s mouth twitching.
The movement was finished as quick as it had started— What was that?! A smirk?! Is this really a trick?! —but looking at the demon’s vertically slitted pupils, Collin could see what he would almost call...concern? Just barely hiding behind the demon’s slightly dulled goatish smile.
Following the gaze, they led down to his arms, which, now that he had a moment to really look at them, he realized were in less than great shape. The sleeves of his turtleneck were torn, revealing ruffled looking fur, smeared with dirt— please Lord let it just be dirt —and speckled here and there with his own golden blood.
The demon’s eyes met his again and the smile warmed back up, just a bit.
Is...Is he worried about me?
Collin eyed the donuts again.
He picked one up.
The demon beamed and only moved to take another bite out of his own donut.
Collin brought the treat— one covered in a lavender-tinted glaze —to his face and gave it a sniff. It...smells okay?
...
He took a small bite before he could talk himself out of it again.
It didn’t taste quite as sweet as he was expecting, but it was far from bad. Before he could stop himself he took another bite, bigger this time, and then another, and another. The donut was gone and he was licking the icing off his fingers as the demon moved again. Collin froze, but the demon was simply placing the box onto the ground; scooting it a bit closer towards him, before straightening back up and making a quick strange motion with his hands.
He darted down the alley using bat-like wings just as Collin’s brain caught up and realized that the motions had been sign-language. Ones that he thinks had meant {Be right back}.
There are demons that use sign in Hell? Collin thought in wonder, plucking another donut from the box just as the demon returned. The angel was surprised to see that he was holding a white box with a red cross on it; a first aid kit?
Placing it on the ground next to the donuts, the demon started signing once more.
{Can I help you?}
“You use sign?” Collin asked before he could think better of it. He winced, expecting annoyance at the blunt question, but the demon just smiled wider.
{You know sign?!}
“Uh...yeah. M-My Nana, she’s been Hard-of-Hearing for as long as I can remember. Signing helps.”
{That’s great!} the demon grinned, {I don’t often run into people who already know sign. I’m not H-O-H but I can’t really speak.} He made a bleating sound to demonstrate.
{My name is R-A-Z-Z-L-E,} He fingerspelled for Collin, {What’s yours?}
“Razzle?” Collin said, trying to correctly pronounce the spelled name, “Like, ‘razzle-dazzle’?”
‘Razzle’ winced, for some reason— maybe he’s not a fan of that comparison? —but nodded all the same.
“I’m Collin,” the angel said, fingerspelling it as well on reflex even though he already knew Razzle could hear him.
{Nice to meet you! Now, can I please look at your injuries? I only want to help. Promise.}
Collin bit his lip, thinking it over for a long moment, before he eventually nodded.
Razzle smiled and got to work, the angel keeping his eyes on him the entire time.
It was a mostly silent affair: Razzle would point and sign a request for Collin to move this bit of clothing or lift that limb and Collin would quietly obliged while continuing to eat from the box of donuts. Before he knew it, the angel found the box was half empty and Razzle was clicking the box closed after disinfecting and bandaging what wounds he could.
“Thank you,” he said, quietly but genuinely.
“Brep!” {You’re welcome!} Razzle signed, holding the kit’s handle with his thick spade tipped tail that reminded Collin a bit of a dragon’s.
{Do you have somewhere you can go?}
The reality of his situation washed over him once more, and Collin shook his head glumly. Razzle frowned but tried to quickly cover it with a smile.
{Heaven has an embassy down here-}
“Wait- Really?!” An embassy?! Maybe I could talk to someone up in Heaven?!
Razzle nodded. {Yes! But, usually no one’s there unless there’s a meeting scheduled.}
“Oh...” Figures...
{C-H-A-R-L-I-E should be able to get you one, though!} the demon explained.
“Charlie?” Collin asked, tilting his head, “Who’s that?”
{She’s my boss. Kinda,} Razzle said, waggling a hand in a so-so manner. Snapping his fingers he dug around inside of his suit jacket, pulling out a slightly crumple looking pamphlet, which he handed to Collin.
{She runs this!} he signed once both hands were free.
Collin examined the pamphlet curiously. It was on stiff stock paper, rubbed soft along the edge from presumably being in Razzle’s pocket for a while. The front showed a rather grand looking building that reminded Collin of a fancy hotel. Glossy words printed at the top of the page confirmed his guess and he looked at Razzle questioningly.
“What’s a...Hazbin Hotel?”