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I watch her eyes glistening in the summer light; no one's eyes are quite like hers. Dimples form as she smiles up to the sun.
I love her. But I can't - I really, really can't.
Her curls ruffle across her face and she laughs as I shift to stand a barrier between her and the wind, letting my own hair dance in front of me, framing her face. Her lips split into a grin, as she teases me; 'her gentleman'.
I really, really can't love her.
But she's just standing there, staring back at me with that smile on her face, the look in her eyes as the breeze kisses her skin and brushes her lips.
"Darcy?" she asks, resting her hand in mine. Her warmth seeps into me, echoing through my body.
There are no butterflies in my stomach - a more accurate analogy would have to involve hornets.
"Yeah?" The moisture leaves my mouth as I search her face for an answer. Any answer. Do you love me? She asks in my head.
I want to tell her. Every part of me aches to say those three words, but... I can't. What if she doesn't feel the same? What if I ruin everything? The thought of loosing her, of seeing her smile fade because of me, is unbearable.
My mind drifts to my mother. From her; the words are poison. I learned early that love could be a weapon, a tool for control. I don't want to end up like her.
I don't ever want to hurt Tara.
"Do you want ice cream?"
We're walking past an ice cream truck; of course that's what she was asking. Stupid.
"Um, yeah, yeah okay." The grin comes naturally, sincere, but as she looks at me, I wonder if she can see through to all the thing's I dont say out loud. I love you too. My tongue dances on the words, but she turns to place her order.
Tara.
We sit on the grass, my legs resting over hers as we pass the ice creams between us. I lean in and kiss the ice cream off her lips and warmth spreads from my chest as she laughs against my mouth. I'm still watching her, waiting for something more. I won't let my love become a weapon like my mother's. We'll figure this out together.
"Tara?"
"Mm..yeah?" she says, glancing away from the ice cream.
I have to say it now. Now before it's too late.
"I love you," I whisper.