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"Is there a single moment in our friendship that has been honest, Alicent? Or should I say your majesty now?"
The sharp words rolled Rhaenyra's tongue relentlessly, too wounded to notice the endless tears and swollen eyes of the woman who followed her.
"It's not like that, Rhaenyra! Just listen to me, please!"
"I am tired of listening. Go to my father, I'm sure he'd like it if you warmed his ear."
Rhaenyra opened the door hurryied to close it when she was pushed back. Alicent grabbed her forearms and slammed the door shut with an indecent kick.
"Do you think I wanted any of this?! To marry and have the children of someone who could be my father? Of someone who watched me grow by your side?" Rhaenyra stood stiffly, watching her friend's tirade with wide eyes...She had never seen her so out of alignment, almost in trance, pacing back and forth with thick tears streaming down her cheeks and raging eyes. "I am not like you Rhaenyra! I cannot oppose the orders of my father and the king, if I were to breathe in a way that the hand did not like, I would be sent unchallenged to Oldtown to marry some unknown, unkind son of a minor house I never knew...And I...I know I should have come to you, but I thought my father was just looking for the comfort of his friend, nothing happened at first, I would just read to him and he told me stories about Old Valyria and then... It was too late, by the time I realised, it was too late and I was too scared to say anything".
Alicent collapsed on the floor and covered her face with her hands, weeping noisily.
Rhaenyra took a deep breath, jaded and angry. She knelt in front of her, not caring if it crushed her dress, and hugged her with all the strength she could muster.
Alicent trembled and melted into her arms, crying louder and louder.
"I'm sorry...I am so sorry, I don't want any of this" Alicent whispered desperately, her tears flooding down the front of the princess's dress.
"Shh...It's alright."
"Nothing is right, I've ruined everything and you...I beg you, you have to believe me, I don't want him...Please believe me, Rhaenyra."
"I believe you, my sweet lady. None of this is your fault, I'm sorry I took it out on you. I was very upset, but I promise I believe you, it's not your fault." Rhaenyra reassured, running a hand down her back in an attempt to comfort the sad woman in her arms.
And it wasn't. Damn it, it wasn't Alicent's fault. It was so obvious that she wanted to kick herself at the notion that it took her a whole day and her love to collapse to realise it.
There were two who had caused this misery to her lady, and Rhaenyra would never forgive them.
It took several minutes for Alicent to stop sobbing, none of them moved from the floor and their clothes were probably already soiled. When only little hiccups remained in her chest, Alicent spoke again, her voice hoarse and battered from the bitter weeping before. A tone so desolate that it broke the princess's heart.
"I don't know how to go on now, Rhaenyra...I don't know if I can bear it."
Rhaenyra's teeth gritted, a new determination shining in violet eyes.
"You don't have to, I won't let you, now that I know you don't want to" she declared firmly, pressing Alicent against her chest.
Alicent lifted her chin to stare at her without moving from her position. "There is nothing to be done, Rhaenyra, the king has already announced it."
"Alicent...Sweet Alicent " Rhaenyra leaned down to rest her forehead against the other woman's temple, she could feel the warm breath brush against her cheek. " We will leave, we will leave them behind, all of them."
"Rhaenyra...This is no knight's tale, we cannot cross the narrow sea and eat cake, life is not so easy outside the gates of the fortress."
"I know. When I first said it to you it was a childish fantasy. But this... this is real Alicent. We can go, tonight, we'll take Syrax and work for the future we want. You and I."
Alicent tensed, a million doubts and hopes running through her mind. Could they do it? Her father would never let her escape in peace, and the king would not lose his heir without a fight, and seven hells, he was the damn king, he had all the resources at his fingertips.
"It won't be easy... Even if we make it, they'll be looking for us and if they find us, I don't want to imagine what they'll do."
"Let them try, we'll meet them with fire and blood if they try to take us apart."
Alicent broke away from her then, standing upright on both legs again "Rhaenyra..."
The princess did not bother to move from her place on her knees, nor to release Alicent hands.
"No, Alicent. Don't you understand? I'm not joking, I want this. I want to run away from this damn place that just takes and takes until there will be nothing left of us, just ideas that they built themselves. I don't want to be erased, I deserve more. You, Alicent Hightower, deserve more, and I'm willing to fight for it if I have to."
Alicent stared at her silently for a few moments, her expression riddled with doubt and pain.
"My father will never allow it...And you are the heir, they will not let you disappear."
"Your father and anyone else who tries to get in our way can raise their pleas to Syrax. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to rid us of them, I don't want a crown tainted by my mother's blood and pain."
"Rhaenyra..." Alicent sighed her name, in that way that the princess loved so much. "You...do you really think we could make it?"
Rhaenyra smiled then, and stood up.
They would be leaving that night. Alicent argued that they had time to plan a cleaner escape, but Rhaenyra was unwilling to let her love be forced to spend another night with the king, not after the look of self-loathing on Alicent's face.
"One more night...I can take it," she had said, trying to sound convincing despite her big, bleary brown eyes.
Over my dead body, the princess thought.
They still had the day to gather what they needed. They agreed to pack any valuable jewellery which could be sold - Rhaenyra had a half-full sack of coins stashed away on her uncle's advice, blessed be- , plus a pair of dresses for each of them - the simple ones, no use for the more pompous ones now - plus Alicent's favourite light blue dress and Rhaenyra's black one. The servants were ordered to bring several loaves of bread and cheese to the princess's chambers under the pretense that she would return from a flight hungry, and packed them, as well as the only two canteens of water Rhaenyra possessed.
Rhaenyra was able to bribe two servants at the armoury and got two small daggers and a sharp sword as well as the two small leather hobbles that she hoped would fit. Not that she knew how to handle any weapons...yet, but it was better than going completely unprotected.
It was the best they could collect from the fortress without attracting suspect. But they would make a quick stop at Dragonstone, as princess, Rhaenyra would have more freedom to take more money, books Alicent did not want to leave behind -Rhaenyra could not denied her- , and some tools needed to camp more safely and comfortably if they could not find a safe place to spend the night.
Night fell, and the castle did not notice the two figures dressed in riding clothes and covered with heavy cloaks advancing to the dragon pit.
Alicent watched nervously as Rhaenyra saddled Syrax and secured the leather bags, no matter how hard she tried to pull back her nails, she couldn't stop digging into the already injured skin.
This was a disaster.
There was nowhere to run, they would find them and her father would send her to the silent sisters and Rhaenyra...Oh, sweet and kind Rhaenyra who was willing to give up a lifetime of luxury, a crown, the entire kingdom because Alicent couldn't keep her mouth shut and the crying in her private chambers. This was wrong, she was ruining her friend's life out of weakness and surely she wasn't worth all the trouble. No...she couldn't do that to her, it had to stop.
"Alicent?" Rhaenyra's touch stopped the swirl of harassing thoughts. "We're ready, it's time to go."
The princess looked so beautiful, the silver hair more ethereal than ever in the little moonlight that came in.
Her Rhaenyra, so beautiful and confident. There was not a hint of doubt in her eyes. She would be the best queen Westeros could ever ask for.
"I can't...I can't do this to you and take away something else from you, I can't take away from the realm the excellent queen I know you will be."
"Alicent" the princess approached, already shaking her head. "Do you not know all that you have already given me, that it weighs so heavily on you to take from me something I am happy to give up willingly?"
"What have I given you but trouble and displeasure?" denied Alicent, her voice already cracking.
"Light, Alicent. The banner of your house has never found so worthy a bearer, you light my path." Rhaenyra clasped her hands more tightly together, a decisive look in her eyes. "You have done so since the first time we met, that day I convinced you to accompany me to this very place all those years ago and you watched me as I took my first flight on Syrax, do you remember?"
Alicent can't help but smile slightly. Of course she remembered, it was one of her fondest memories despite the fear she had felt being close to a dragon for the first time. "I still don't know how you convinced me."
Rhaenyra smiled back and lifted her hands to rest against her chest, taking half a step closer. At that distance, she could feel the warmth of Alicent's body calling to hers.
"What you don't know, sweet Alicent. It's that you convinced me first, you give me the courage. When we talked about Syrax you were so scared and yet you seemed so curious and bright when I told you about her scales, I could only think that I needed to show you how they shone in the sunlight. You were so brave, when I came down that day and ran to you, you were so amazed, your eyes glowed brighter than Balerion's fire and I knew then that I would do anything to make sure they didn't lose that glow" the princess raised a hand, brushing her friend's cheek with her knuckles gently. "You have only given me, Alicent. Your trust, your friendship, your loyalty, your...affection. What are a crown and a chair of broken swords in comparison?"
The princess's smile widened as she noticed Alicent's cheeks darken to a reddish hue and couldn't help but lean in to kiss the delicate skin.
"If you truly don't want to leave, I will stay with you because I could never leave your side...But if you choose to fly with me now, do so knowing that it is also what I choose, I choose to fly with you and eat cake."
Alicent had to breathe through her mouth to keep from choking, her heart was pounding so hard she feared it would burst out of her chest and her skin burned where Rhaenyra had touched it. The corners of her lips lifted almost against her will and she had to plant her feet firmly to keep from following the impulse to lean in the direction of her lips.
Violet eyes awaited her.
Freed of presumption, and shame and anger, but full of courage and something else that she could not elucidate. Alicent wanted to see them like this all her life, she wanted to feel like this forever.
Alicent could be brave once more, for Rhaenyra and for herself.
"Help me climb up."