Archive of Our Own

Nancy got to go to college.

It felt like an obvious statement, considering her very vocal intent of ditching Hawkins for college since the age of eight. But at some point in her senior year of high school, the town cracked in half and for some reason it was Nancy’s responsibility to glue it back together. She would never be sure of the reason. Her naive, younger self would’ve called it punishment, for what happened to Barb or whatever. But then she grew up, and paid more attention to the news, or her bosses, or the mouth breathers who thought it a good idea to flirt with her while on a shift. Bad people don’t get punished. The politicians, the bosses, the mouth breathers - they all slept soundly. Nancy didn’t. She was probably just unlucky.

She went to college, she studied and waited, and studied and waited, and repeated the process two more times until she was in a graduation cap holding a diploma. She packed up her dorm room on the last day, despite being old enough years ago to get her own place, and left the place behind. Some swotty little eighteen year old interrupted her packing process, though, asking if this was room 108. It was. Nancy mumbled something about the bathroom lock needing some force.

The kid gave her a toothy grin. “Thanks! Is it fun? College, I mean.” She suddenly shifted, glancing at her feet. “Like… was it worth it?”

Nancy’s mouth hung open for a little too long, and she shrugged. “I guess it depends on who you are.”

“But was it for you?” The girl looked at her as if her entire future rested on Nancy’s answer. Nancy remembered thinking like that, maybe not in college, but somewhere before the end of high school. Like everyone above her had some secret wisdom they could give her. It always made her a little excited, the idea she could learn everything from all of her elders and end up smarter than them. By the time she turned seventeen she realised she was probably already smarter than them.

“Sure.” Nancy said. “No complaints.”

She didn’t have any. A part of her expected to burn out, she’d heard the stories of the smart golden child who had just a little too much weight on their shoulders. She’d been that child, emptying her guts in the school bathroom before every final during high school. She’d always sort of had an inkling of where her life was going. College dropout, working at a dead-end job, she used to have so much potential.

But that didn’t happen. She passed her exams, she got her diploma, she got a job offer. Okay, she wasn’t the straight A student she used to be, but she was better than most others. And it didn’t bother her that she got Bs or even Cs sometimes. It was okay. This was probably what peace felt like.

Nancy got a promotion.

It was her dream job. Sixteen year old Nancy would’ve been ecstatic knowing all her hard work paid off. She got to speak to people, hear their stories, give them a voice. Each assignment was new, they were interesting, they were real. She’d written about the successful suing of the sham company that had scammed thousands of people out of their money. Or the time that missing person’s body was found, and his family could rest. The new laws finally put into place on inter-dimensional experimentation. It was good news. The world was getting better, slowly but surely. Nancy’s life was getting better. She had enough money to at least make a small dent on her student debt, and get herself an apartment with a second bedroom. She did, because why wouldn’t she? She was growing up. 

The next day at work she spoke to a woman who lived in a van. She drove it around the country, even out of the country on occasion. She saw the Niagara Falls, visited the capital, and drove the US-66 from Chicago to sunny California. Her van was packed full of memories, she’d shown Nancy inside. Little trinkets from every place she’d visited, varying in size from keychains tucked inside boxes to an Alaskan license plate hanging on the wall. At some point Nancy took her lunch break, the van was parked in a field outside the city, it wasn’t like there was any place else to eat. The woman made her a sandwich and a coffee. It was the first time she’d been off the job with a client.

“Have you ever travelled?” The woman asked.

Nancy laughed a little. “If you count the road trip from my home town to here, before college.”

“Where are you from?”

“Indiana.”

The woman smiled, her eyes stared past Nancy, past reality. “Beautiful woodland in Indiana. In the fall, the orange trees, the streams running through the forest. I’d love to go back. Maybe I’ll go there next.”

Nancy nodded. “We had woods outside my house growing up.”

“When was the last time you went back?” She asked.

“I… I don’t remember.” Nancy said. It was during college, for sure. Sophomore year? Or maybe even Freshman. A winter break, she never bothered to return in the summer, she’d rather work.

“Your family must miss you.”

“Does yours?” Nancy diverted the question. “Must be hard to speak to them, never being in the same place.”

“I don’t have any, dear.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” The woman smiled, she patted Nancy’s hand. “You know, our lives aren’t so different.”

“No?”

“My favourite part of the travelling is the people. This van is good for a lot, but in bad storms I’ve had strangers put me up for the night, give me a cooked meal. And they’re so interesting. You know, they live in houses you wouldn’t even look twice at, towns you see on a weather map and nowhere else. Their lives are in this tiny bubble that goes as far as their county. I was young when I started travelling, I thought I was better than everyone, more free, more… awake. But they’re all so interesting.” The woman chuckled. “Sometimes I feel a little boring compared to the so-called ‘boring’ people.”

“How can you be boring?” Nancy laughed. “I’m writing an article about you for a reason. Your life is…”

“…driven by others. I just soak it all up and… and I love it that way!” The woman looked at Nancy with curiosity. “That must be a little like your job? Speaking to people, writing articles, covering different stories.”

Nancy felt her hand shake a little. She couldn’t remember her last article. “How do you soak it up?”

The woman leaned in close. “You live.”

Nancy quit her job that evening. She didn’t know why, it was a decent job, and she’d been good at it. But she went home from that tiny van and stared at her second bedroom. White freshly painted walls and wooden floors. There was a single hook on the wall for a painting.

She got another job. It had better pay, and that was what she told her mom. No, that was what she told her dad because she’d specifically asked for him when she’d done her monthly phone call. Because ‘it has better pay’ wouldn’t fool Karen Wheeler for a second, and Nancy couldn’t be bothered with the lecture about how she was probably throwing her dream career away because of a mid-life crisis that had come two decades too early. She told Ted to tell her mom, and hung up. The phone rang five minutes later. Nancy didn’t pick up.

It wasn’t a mid-life crisis. She wasn’t in crisis. She was perfectly okay. She typed stuff into computers all day, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was typing, but she was probably good at it, because she was a fast typer. And then she’d get home at five-thirty instead of working hours overtime to reach a deadline, and switch on the TV until she got too tired to keep her eyes open. TV was good these days. There were more options than there used to be, or maybe Nancy was just watching more.

Nancy got a phone call.

Two weeks later she got a phone call, and she’d probably gotten calls in between the two weeks, but those ones didn’t matter.

Those ones weren’t Robin Buckley.

Nancy wasn’t sure when she’d given Robin her new number. Come to think of it, she didn’t even think she had. 

“I’m in Boston for a wedding in a couple weeks. I know it’s been… a while, but maybe we can catch up?” Robin spoke.

Nancy nodded. “Do you need a place to stay?”

“Oh, no, that’s fine. My friend booked us a hotel room.”

“Friend?” Nancy wasn’t sure why she said that.

“Yeah. It’s her sister, actually, who’s getting married. They were originally from Boston, her family lives there.” Robin explained.

“Oh.” Nancy said. “Why are you going to your friend’s sister’s wedding?”

Robin snorted over the phone, for a second Nancy thought it was interference, but no, Robin was laughing at her. “Because her sister is also my friend. They’re twins. We met in college. Yadda yadda, are you saying yes or not?”

“I already said yes.”

“…No, you didn’t.”

“I… nodded.” Nancy winced. “Yes. I’d like to meet up.”

“Okay! Great!” Robin sounded so happy.

“Great.”

The phone went silent. “…Nancy?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna give me your address, or…”

“Oh! Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, it’s 108-” Nancy stopped herself from reciting her old address. Her old old old address. Christ, was that her fucking dorm room number? “Sorry, no, that’s not-”

Nancy stared at the open door to her second bedroom.

“Nancy?”

Nancy sighed. “You know, this place is a shithole. Rat infested. I know you’re not a fan of rabies, so…”

“Oh.” Robin said. “Okay. Coffee shop?”

“Yeah. Sounds good.”

Robin was in the coffee shop by Nancy’s old newspaper two weeks later. She looked like the travelling woman. Well, not really, they had completely different features. But still… there was something about the two that was eerily similar.

“Nancy!” Robin’s eyes lit up as she spotted Nancy by the door.

“Hey! You look good!” Nancy greeted her.

“So do you! Oh my god, we were in college last time we spoke. Can you believe that?” Robin laughed. “Time flies, right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it does.” Nancy agreed. For some reason she was a little hurt. Some small part of her wanted Robin angry. She wanted a ‘where the fuck did you disappear to?’ or a ‘why did you stop answering my calls in college?’ or a ‘where did you go, Nancy?’ or anything other than a brief acknowledgement of the passage of time.

The barista dipped a rag into someone’s coffee and wiped the counter surface with it, and Nancy remembered bad people don’t always get punished.

“So…” Robin smiled. “How’s work? Journalism! You got what you wanted.”

“It’s good!” Nancy nodded, and let her face fall. It was genuine sadness, written on her face. But she didn’t have to let Robin see it. That was a choice. “Actually, I… uh, I got fired. Couple months ago.”

“Oh, Nancy…” Robin looked at her with pity.

“You know me, mouthing off to the bosses, getting myself in trouble.” Nancy rolled her eyes.

“All for the sake of a story, huh?” Robin scoffed. “You haven’t changed a bit. I like that.”

“Yeah.” Nancy nodded, again. “I like that, too.”

“You got any work lined up?” Robin asked.

“Temp job.” Nancy shrugged “For the bills. What about you? What’s your… job?” Nancy should know this, she should definitely know this.

“I’m a tour guide! Pretty cool, huh?” Robin grinned.

“So you get to ramble to strangers all day about Chicago architecture?” Nancy laughed. “I had that experience before we left for college.”

“Oh. No, not Chicago. Hawkins, Nance. I moved back to Hawkins.” Robin said.

“What?!” Nancy exclaimed, and for a moment her eyes lit up a little. Robin hated Hawkins, she’d spent her entire life wanting to get out. And for a single, fleeting moment, Nancy was happy Robin didn’t. And she had no idea why.

“It’s not like it used to be.” Robin said. “I mean, it’s not a sleepy, rural town anymore. Tourism is massive, everyone from everywhere wants to see the remnants of the gate. The town where the world almost ended. It’s a good hook. The economy is good, the town is more diverse, people keep moving there. There’s actually a little bar, a few streets from Main Street. You know, for people like me. It’s not legal or anything, but it’s there. That wouldn’t have even been heard of in Hawkins five years ago, huh?”

“Yeah, that- that sounds great.” Nancy said. “I’m… I’m glad you’re happy there.”

“I am.” Robin smiled. “You should come visit sometimes.”

“I will. Definitely.” Nancy had lied about quitting her job, but somehow that ‘definitely’ was the biggest lie of the day. “People really pay to see the gate? Is it even still there?”

Robin snorted. “God, no, it’s literally just a slightly newer looking concrete. But tourists will pay for anything. Oh! They did open up a bit of the old Russian bunker, though. Now it’s like a haunted tour or an escape room or something? I don’t know. I’m not going near the thing. No way.”

“Isn’t this all a bit…”

“I get that. I felt that way, too. But it’s not just an ‘end of the world’ tour, you know? I show people other places. The old railroad, the history of what trains used to drive through the town. And the quarry, the lakes. Hawkins has an interesting history. And anyway, that’s what all the Upside Down stuff is at this point. History. It’s good to teach it, now that it’s all out in the open. People will learn what we went through, they learn about how we saved the world.”

“Right. And for five bucks they get a keychain to go with it.” Nancy nodded.

“It’s not like that, Nance. Maybe there are some bullshit money-making tours, there’s places like that at every famous landmark. But this is me, Nancy. Come on, you know me. I saw it, I lived it. I’m not doing this to make a quick dollar, I’m doing this because I love it. I love talking about it all, as weird as that sounds. Everything we went through, all those NDAs we had to sign, all those hoops we had to jump through just to live our lives. I get to tell people the real story, not the exaggerated one the tabloids use, or the watered down one the government uses. The real story. My story. Our story. It’s not different from your old job, getting paid to tell people’s stories.”

“I know.” Nancy sighed. “I know. It’s just… hard to wrap my head around, I guess.”

“I get it. I’m not asking for you to be totally on board or to actually come to one. It’s different for you, I know.” Robin said. “Just because I managed to move on… not everyone can. I understand.”

“What makes you think I haven’t moved on?”

“Wh-” Robin opened and closed her mouth, and her face twisted into genuine confusion. “I- I don’t know. Sorry. Hey, I have to go soon, bridesmaid duties. But the bachelorette party is tonight, you can come by?”

“I don’t wanna crash a stranger’s bachelorette party.” Nancy laughed.

“No, it’s totally fine. I know my friend, she is very much a ‘the more the merrier’ type of person. You won’t be the only stranger there, I guarantee it.” Robin said. “Please. We only just got reunited, I don’t want this to be the last time I… I don’t want to end the week here.”

“Uh…” Nancy bit at her lip. Fresh Prince was on at eight, but that didn’t sound like a good enough excuse. “Sure! Why not?”

Nancy didn’t know why she agreed to this thing. Hanging out at a bar, a bar full of people who she didn’t know, but all knew each other. And one person she did know, which maybe was worse. 

Robin was happily chatting with two girls across the bar. One had a bright white sash that read ‘Bride to be’ in gold lettering, the other looked exactly like the bride. The infamous twins Nancy had heard so much about. The single one, or at least not engaged one, wore a patchy green bomber jacker, jeans ripped practically to shreds and had about a dozen earrings, some in places Nancy didn’t even know were possible to pierce. She had a book in hand, because of course she brought a book to the bar, she was Robin’s supposed best friend.

Nancy took one look and left.

“Nancy!” The voice caught up with her as she marched down the street. “Nancy! Where are you going?!”

Nancy pretended she couldn’t hear her.

“Nancy, woah.” Robin grabbed her by the arm, puffing a little after running to catch up. “Why’d you leave?”

“I, um…” Nancy bit at her lip again, and at this point it had to be obvious that that was her tell. She couldn’t think of an excuse, this time. “Look, we were friends, back in the day. But you have your life and I… I have mine, okay? It was good catching up, Robin, really. But that part of my life is over. I’m sorry.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

Nancy looked past Robin, the way the travelling woman did when revisiting her own memories of Indiana. Except Nancy probably looked a lot less blissful. “I’m glad you found your place in Hawkins. But none of that is me anymore.”

“And, what, I’m just collateral damage?” Robin scoffed slightly.

“No, but… it’s been six years! What do you want me to do, pretend we’re still having movie nights at my mom’s house like we’re teenagers? I don’t know you anymore, Robin, and you don’t know me. We’re adults now.”

“Speak for yourself.” Robin huffed. “Okay. Fine. But can I ask one question, and then I’ll be gone.”

Nancy gestured a go ahead signal.

“Why did you lie to your parents?”

“Wh- what?”

“About your job. You told them you quit, but you got fired. I mean I get it, all their expectations and shit. Just, you know, since you’re so detached from Hawkins and everyone in your past. Why’d you lie to them?”

“I…” For once Nancy hadn’t lied, not in the way Robin thought she had. But the truth was worse. “I don’t know. Instinct. Whatever. Better question is how did you know I told them that?”

Robin sighed. “They called me. It’s how I got your number in the first place.”

“Jesus, so you’re just here to check up on me?”

“What? No!” Robin exclaimed. “I’m here for a wedding, not because your mom asked me. And she didn’t. She doesn’t even know I’m here, and honestly, that was a little on purpose because I knew she’d probably try and come with me. So you’re welcome for saving you from a surprise visit from your mother, by the way.”

“Thanks.” Nancy muttered. “I answered your question.”

“You did.”

“So… guess you can go.”

“You’re the one that’s going, remember?” Robin cruelly reminded her.

“Right.” Nancy turned on her heels. “Goodbye, Robin.”

“Goodbye, Nancy.”

Except it wasn’t goodbye, Nancy wouldn’t be that lucky, because five hours later the phone rang.

“Nancy?”

“Robin?” Nancy checked her watch and groaned. “It’s one am.”

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Robin whispered over the phone.

Nancy glanced over at Letterman on the TV. “No, not really.”

“Okay. I’m sorry, I know we went our separate ways, or whatever. But there was an issue with the hotel rooms, and Julia wanted to be in the separate room as Danielle because they’re fighting right now but there was a key missing and…” she sighed. “Basically, I have nowhere to stay, and not enough money for a motel. I know you said you had no space, but seriously, I will sleep on your kitchen floor if necessary.”

It wouldn’t be. And Nancy knew damn well she’d be exposed as the liar she was if she let Robin stay. But Robin didn’t deserve to be punished because Nancy was bad. Ten minutes later she was letting Robin inside as slowly as she possibly could, and wondering if she could book it out the door before Robin noticed she was gone.

“Woah.” Robin looked around. “Not what I expected.”

“Yeah…”

Robin, the natural explorer, found the bedrooms in seconds. “Oh! There’s two.”

“My roommate.” Nancy blurted out before she could stop herself. 

“It’s empty. Clean as a whistle, there’s not even a single mouse trap.” Robin gave the already open door a push further. Her shoulders deflated, she looked down and sighed. “You really didn’t wanna see me, huh.”

“It wasn’t like that, I-”

“It’s okay, you said your peace. I’ll be out by the morning, I promise.” She looked at Nancy, and smiled. “It’s fine. I get it, we have our own lives now. I’m okay.”

“You are?”

Robin nodded, and it looked genuine.

“Why are you okay with that?!” Nancy snapped.

“Huh?”

“I lied to you over and over again, why aren’t you mad at me?” Nancy continued.

“Because I got the wrong idea! It happens! Maybe I’d be madder if…” Robin trailed off, and now she looked hurt.

“…if you cared enough?” Nancy nodded. “A friend lying to you sucks. A stranger lying to you is no big deal.”

Robin sighed, running her hands down her face. “You stopped calling me, Nance. Five years ago. What do you want me to say? You were right, we don’t know each other anymore.”

“I want to.” Nancy admitted. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that shit outside the bar, truly, I don’t. I don’t know why I keep lying. Every decision I’ve made since you called has boggled my mind, truth be told. You make me… crazy, and maybe that’s a good thing.”

Robin sat on the couch. “Bachelorette party was a big swing, I’ll admit. Look, why don’t we go out tomorrow? It doesn’t have to be a big reunion, you can bring other people, if you want. Yell at a sports team on the TV, or play pool, I don’t know. We’ll just… drink and hang out.”

“I don’t do that.” Nancy sat beside Robin, clasping her hands together.

“You don’t drink?”

“I don’t have friends.” Nancy buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god, I don’t have friends. I didn’t even notice. Why do you have so many friends? Before it was just Steve and only because you worked together and got, like, kidnapped together. How did you get friends naturally?!”

“I talked to them!” Robin laughed, rubbing circles on Nancy’s back. “Nancy, have you tried that?”

“No!” Nancy exclaimed. “I don’t think I talk to people, either. Except my boss.”

“What about old college friends-”

“-I don’t have any.” Nancy said. “Robin, you were my last friend.”

Robin looked at Nancy, like staring at the crazy shit they used to see as teens. And then Nancy was pulled into Robin’s chest, wrapped in a tight hug. “What have you been doing this whole time?”

“…I don’t think I’ve been doing anything.”

Robin hugged a little tighter. “Would you like to?”

Nancy was in Hawkins two days later. Staring at the tiny storefront on Main Street that read ‘Hawkins History Museum’.

Nancy wasn’t the only one that undersold her job status. Robin was the fucking curator.

“Holy shit.” Nancy said as she walked through the doors. A wave of awful, awful memories hitting her as almost every piece in Robin’s collection had some kind of trauma attached to it. Will’s missing poster, the old drawings of the tunnels underneath Hawkins, a Scoops Ahoy name tag, Nancy’s old shotgun. “This is obsessive, Robin.”

“It’s history! And like I said, it’s not all about the Upside Down. Look.” She pointed in the direction of other exhibits, a model steam train that used to ride through the town, the history of Main Street, a little section on the semi-famous Hawkinites. “It took me ages to get the train. Off some guy from Colorado. I drove to Colorado, Nancy.”

Nancy, naturally, was drawn more to the shotgun. Encased in glass, with a small plaque beneath it. “While most firearms were used by the military rather than civilians, this particular one was illegally modified and used by a teenage girl. She assisted in the death of Henry Creel, a bullet from this very gun was found in the autopsy.” Nancy chuckled a little. “And here’s me thinking it was still under my old bed.”

“This little girl wanted to hear your whole story a few months back. Fascinated by the idea that a teenage girl could do something so powerful.” Robin smiled. “A lot of people think it was just a military operation. That’s why I’m here. To prove them wrong.”

“What did you tell her?”

“I told her you were brave, and strong, and you never stopped fighting. I told her you were one of the greatest people I’ve ever known. She said she wanted to be like that.” Robin said. “This is what I meant. This isn’t just a get rich quick scheme, it’s our story. You changed the world, Nancy, and now some little girl is trying to change it too because of you. You’re a hero, you have an award for it and everything.”

Nancy hadn’t thought of that in years. She could remember the feeling of the medal being pinned to her by some military official. Her heart fluttering, nervousness, excitement, a little bit of imposter syndrome. She used to stare at it a lot. Sometimes she’d wanted to throw it into the lake because she probably didn’t deserve it, other times it was her most prized possession. And now it was just gathering dust in her closet somewhere. Now she just stared at her empty second bedroom.

“I didn’t get fired.” Nancy felt inclined to say. “I quit. I didn’t lie to my parents, I lied to you.”

Robin scratched her head. “Why did you tell me you got fired? I mean, objectively, that is worse than quitting.”

“Worse than quitting my supposed dream job? Do I really need to ask how you would’ve reacted?”

“Okay. Fair. But I’ve cycled through loads of jobs, I wouldn’t have judged you.” Robin said.

“Yeah, I got the Christmas letters the first few years. Trainee zookeeper, radio presenter, at some point you were trying to patent an invention?”

“TV remote with a tiny TV on it, yeah. Didn’t work out.”

“My point is, those are all insane. And fun, and different. Now I work at a grey, boring office doing data… something, and it pays well and I have no intention of doing something fun or insane or different.”

“That’s all fine, Nancy, but why did you quit your journalism career?” Robin asked, and for once it meant Nancy had to think about it.

“There was this woman who travelled around the country. She said she lives by soaking up other people’s lives. She’s so happy, and fulfilled, and I thought about all the crazy people I’ve met with different stories and lives and… and what do I do?”

“Nancy, you’re one of the craziest people ever! You fought inter-dimensional monsters, you lived in the town that tore the world apart, you have one of the most unique stories ever.” Robin laughed, as if Nancy was ridiculous.

“And now I work an office job and have no friends.” Nancy stated. “Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe the craziest thing that will ever happen to me has already happened, and now I have nothing left. Maybe my life just can’t be fulfilling because nothing I do will ever be as interesting as ‘The Teenage Girl Who Saved the World’. It makes a real nice plaque, Robin, as long as you don’t tell that little girl what happened afterwards.”

“You graduated college and got your dream job.”

“Happily ever after. End of story.” Nancy’s hand thudded on the glass case, staring down at the shotgun and wishing she could hold it just to feel something. “I went to my dream college. I got my dream career, I got everything I’ve ever wanted. And then I quit my job and now work in some dead end office with no soul and I feel exactly the same as I did when I had my happily ever after..”

“I think you’re wrong.” Robin said. “End of story. I don’t think it was.”

“Vecna died. It was over.”

“People died. That doesn’t end.” Robin wandered towards another case. “This section is a memorial. Everyone who lost their lives because of what happened is on here. There’s a picture of Barb. Don’t worry, it’s not that photo. That one is in storage somewhere. I’ll never display it, Nancy, I promise. Never.”

Nancy nodded, turning away little. “It’s not about her.”

“Says the girl that can’t even look at me right now.” Robin said. “Tell me about an article you wrote, back in the day. Any one of them.” Robin said.

“What?”

“Just…please.”

“Uh… okay. Well, since we’re on the subject…” Nancy scoffed. “There was this kid, he was nineteen, went missing in eighty nine. From a bad neighbourhood, had run ins with a gang beforehand. No one cared when he went missing. It was obvious what had happened, so why would the cops bother, right?”

“Let me guess, some big twist? It wasn’t gang-related at all.”

“No, it was. He was shot. No one would’ve known or cared, but the family reached out to the paper. It was before I worked there, but someone took a chance on them, wrote a story on it, on how no one was even trying to bring justice to this family. And in the end it put pressure on the police. They found his body, his parents gave him a memorial. I wrote the follow-up story on it. They said they felt like they were going crazy for three years. And now their minds are at rest.” Nancy scoffed. “If you’re gonna make some kind of analogy… I already know. I see the similarities.”

“Alright. So the parents, they felt sane again. They got justice, they got clarity.” Robin nodded. “But come on, Nancy. You’re smarter than this, you think that was the end? You think burying their son gave them a happy ending?”

“I never said it did. It was tragic.”

“Yeah, but you did say you see the similarities.” Robin pointed out. “They’re gonna grieve for the rest of their lives. And so will you. And I think you have been this entire time without even noticing it.”

“I don’t even think about her that much.” Nancy shrugged. “It was almost a decade ago.”

“Look at the photo then, Nancy.” Robin said. “Okay people can look at photos.”

She glanced up at the glass casing, the photo only a few steps away from being in her field of vision. “I know what she looks like.”

“Then this shouldn’t be a problem.” Robin said.

“Why are you doing this?”

“I’m not forcing you to do anything.” Robin sighed, moving away from the memorial and taking a seat at a swivel chair by a desk. “You said you’ve been doing nothing this whole time.”

“Yeah?”

“That can’t completely be true. What have you been doing?” Robin asked, and once again Nancy actually had to think about the answer.

“I don’t know, in college I mostly studied. I mean- it was harder back then, at first. It wasn’t long after the final battle, I was still on edge. I struggled, I almost wanted to go home. But then… I don’t know, I just got better! I moved on. I don’t keep guns anymore, I don’t flinch when I see clocks. Everything is… fine.”

“I didn’t ask how you’ve been doing, I asked what.”

“Jesus.” Nancy rolled her eyes. “Nothing, okay? Work and watch TV.”

“Go out anywhere? To a bar, or something?”

“No. You were right, in Boston, I don’t drink.” Nancy shrugged. “It’s not a big deal, I just… I don’t know why I don’t. Not interested, I guess.”

“Or you don’t drink because you’re avoiding the feelings you felt as a teenager.” Robin stated, as if it was nothing. “Avoiding making friends because you don’t want to lose any. Quit your dream job because you needed an excuse for why you weren’t happy.”

Nancy could kill her, suddenly she wished she still had those guns. “You’re not a fucking therapist, Robin. In fact, you’re not even okay yourself! You’re just an obsessive creep collecting memorabilia from the past all because you can’t deal with your present feelings about it all. Okay, you can spout off dates, and timelines, and whatever, but that doesn’t make you an actual museum curator, it just makes you stuck in the past.”

“Well, at least I’m admitting that I’m stuck!” Robin stood up, her voice raising. “All that talk about how we’ve moved on from each other, and you have your life in Boston now, all because you couldn’t admit that it killed you to have even a tiny reminder of what happened here. I’m not a traumatic experience, Nancy, I’m a person.”

“Yeah, well, neither am I!” Nancy yelled. “I’m not one of your little museum pieces. You can’t bring me home and put me here and act like you’re a good person for it.”

Robin looked sad, and sad didn’t look right on Robin. “Fine.”

“Fine?”

“I’m sorry.” Robin shrugged. “I thought it would help. But you got on the plane with me, Nancy. Maybe I took you here for the wrong reasons, but you did come here for a reason. Ask yourself why that is.”

“So you can throw the answer back in my face later? Do some ‘I told you so’ routine?” Nancy scoffed.

“I’m not telling you anything, I don’t know the answer. I’m just saying, you’re in Hawkins. Do something with it.” Robin pulled open the front door. “See you around, okay?”

Nancy wandered. That was all she did, while acutely aware this maybe didn’t count as ‘doing something with it’ like Robin had suggested. Every place she ended up had some horrifying memory attached to it. The hospital, the trailer park, the storage facility that used to be Starcourt Mall. Maybe there were so many ruined places in Hawkins that it was impossible not to come by them, or maybe Nancy’s feet just knew where to take her.

She ended up in the woods, at some point, and when she reached the clearing, she ended up in her back yard. She didn’t even realise she was walking home until she found herself staring at the place.

She was supposed to stay with Robin tonight, but even if she wanted to, it was still too far to walk at this time in the evening. She only had one option.

“Nancy, oh my god.” Karen threw herself into Nancy’s arms once she answered the door. “It’s been so long. Wh- you didn’t tell me you were coming, what are you doing here?”

Nancy, for once, answered honestly. “I don’t know.”

The house smelt the same, but that was pretty much it. Not only was Nancy’s stuff tucked away in the attic, but Mike’s was, too. He was at college… somewhere. Nancy really should remember where.

Karen called Holly into the kitchen and Nancy instinctively looked down as she saw feet entering. Turns out she had to look up now. Holly was only fourteen, but now she was 5’9. Taller than Robin. Almost as tall as Mike.

“Woah, what happened to you?” Nancy exclaimed.

Karen laughed. “She, uh, she certainly shot up, right? I could swear it happened overnight.”

Holly just shrugged. She wore a jean jacket Nancy was pretty sure belonged to herself once upon a time. Her hair was no longer in pigtails, and she had lipstick and a band t-shirt and maybe if Nancy had passed her in the street she wouldn’t have even known it was her sister.

Nancy was pretty sure every piece of clothing and jewellery currently on her body had been purchased in high school. It wasn’t like she hadn’t bought clothes since then, but mostly out of necessity than want. She used to want clothes, it used to be what most of her allowance was spent on.

Her bedroom was the guest room now. Mike’s room was empty, Karen wasn’t sure what to do with it. Nancy knew the feeling.

Karen hovered over the light switch after tucking Nancy in (entirely against Nancy’s will). “I missed you more than anything, you know?”

“I know, Mom.”

“We’re talking about that job, tomorrow.”

Nancy sighed. “Okay, Mom.”

She couldn’t get her old job back anyway, as much as Karen would probably beg her to. At least, she didn’t think she could. She’d never checked.

The next day she ate scrambled eggs for breakfast, and realised she hadn’t had a good breakfast since the last time she ate scrambled eggs here. Thank god Mike wasn’t here to douse them in syrup, though.

“So…” Karen cleared her throat. “Quit your job.”

“It was months ago.”

“No explanation.”

“It had better pay, I told dad.”

“Hm.” Karen breathed out a laugh. “You were never particularly interested in speaking to him before then. Don’t think I don’t see what you pulled.”

“I just figured he’d be proud of me.” Nancy stabbed her fork into the eggs.

“Yeah…” Karen said, as if it wasn’t a good thing. Nancy knew it wasn’t a good thing. “Remember the rats with rabies?”

“The obsession that got me fired from my internship?”

“The obsession that saved the world.” Karen said. “Still feels weird to say. Weird to think about. You fighting all those monsters right under my nose. How could I be so blind?”

“I hid the truth well. So did Mike.”

“You don’t hide anything well, Nancy. I knew something was wrong, I just didn’t believe the truth was even possible. No one did. Except you.” Karen smiled sadly.

“Me? I mean- I lived it, I didn’t need to believe, I was there.”

“No, I mean before. When Barb was still ‘missing’, when you were convinced you saw a monster in the woods outside Steve Harrington’s house. How many people would’ve decided it was a man in a mask, or some kind of animal? Not you.” Karen said. “You’re a fighter.”

“Right.”

“So why the hell are you working in that office?” Karen circled the conversation back around.

Nancy sighed, and stared at her eggs. “I’ve got nothing to fight. Life is good.”

“What about all those articles? I read every one. Scam companies, injustice, fraud, corruption. You fought every time, why on Earth would you quit?” Karen continued.

“I wasn’t fighting. I just wrote stuff.” Nancy said. “The rats with rabies, maybe… maybe I was only so passionate about them because I knew deep down they were to do with the Upside Down. Maybe I can’t get passionate like that again.”

“Oh, please.” Karen scoffed. “Before the rats with rabies, it was the stores closing on Main Street. Before that it was the lack of traffic lights on Fox and Morecombe. You were passionate about every single idea you had, and those assholes turned you down every time. And now you got the opportunity to write anything you wanted, you were calling the shots, and you quit! What would she say, huh? What would that little girl crying in her bedroom say if she knew you were the asshole turning her down?”

“I’m not turning her down, I didn’t want to do it!” Nancy said.

“So you wanted to work some office job that’s only good for paying the bills? That’s what’s making you happy?!”

“Nothing makes me happy!” Nancy yelled, for the first time.

“Nancy-”

“-I have to go.” Nancy scraped her chair back, darting out of the house before anyone could stop her. She hopped on her bike, well, Holly’s bike that used to be hers, and pedalled straight to Main Street.

“Nancy!” Robin looked surprised, but maybe not that surprised.

“You were right, okay? I’m miserable in Boston, I don’t think I’ve ever been happy there. You told me so. Now tell me how to fix myself.” Nancy demanded.

“A little out of my job description, Wheeler.” Robin swallowed her half-chewed breakfast. “I already told you I don’t know.”

“You were the one playing therapist yesterday.” Nancy said. “If happily ever after doesn’t make me happy, then what will?”

“There’s so such thing, Nancy. Come on. What do you want?” Robin asked. “Forget what you wanted as a teenager. Right now, what do you want?”

Nancy’s eyes met the shotgun encased in glass. “I wanna shoot something.”

They were in a firing range in Indy two hours later. It didn’t feel like it used to - shooting. During the worst of times she was shooting to live, during the in-between she was shooting because she was angry. Nancy wasn’t doing either. It was okay. She could still aim pretty well, despite being out of practice. They gave her the target sheet afterwards, and maybe that could be pinned to the wall of her empty bedroom.

“Had fun?” Robin asked, having waited outside.

“No, but it wasn’t not fun.” Nancy said. “I just wanted to see if it would give me the same feeling it used to.”

“And did it?”

Nancy shook her head. “I guess that’s a good thing. It means I’m not fearing for my life anymore.”

“That’s good.” Robin twisted the key into her car. It was weird, being driven around by Robin. A little scary. Maybe she was fearing for her life, just slightly.

“I don’t think I’m anything else, either.” Nancy sighed.

“You need friends.” Robin stated. “Human beings are social creatures.”

“I don’t know how to make any.”

“You have one.” Robin smiled.

“You live halfway across the country.” Nancy sighed. “I don’t wanna go back to Boston. I mean, I don’t really wanna stay in Hawkins, I just… I like the change.”

“Then don’t go back yet. What’s stopping you, the job you don’t care about? The apartment you don’t care about?”

“I need money, I can’t just drop my life.” Nancy laughed.

“You’ll find something. And you have savings.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Because you have a nice paying job and you’re still living like a broke college student? Seriously, Nancy, you’re apartment is freakishly empty.” Robin said. “That’s a second thing you need: stuff.”

“I’m not interested in stuff.”

“You weren’t interested in friends until you made one. You’re still holding that target sheet by the way.” Robin pointed to the folded sheet of paper in Nancy’s hands.

“My mom’s gonna lose her shit if she learns I’ve left my entire life behind for no reason. I already got the quitting your job lecture this morning.”

“You stayed with her?”

“Yeah. Holly’s tall now. Dad has gray hair, but other than that, he’s exactly the same.” Nancy groaned. “If anything’s gonna snap me out of this, it’s the idea of ending up like him. I called him, Robin, not Mom. Because I knew he would approve and not her.”

“Ted Wheeler approving of something you do.” Robin shook her head. “That’s bleak.”

“Yeah, I got it.”

“How was Holly?”

“Teenager.” Nancy mumbled. “I don’t think she cares all that much about me, I don’t even think she remembers me fully. I don’t blame her.”

“Shut up, of course she does.”

“Her big sister who ditched her family five years ago and only calls out of obligation?”

“Her big sister, the hero.” Robin said. “You weren’t the only one who lied.”

“What?”

Robin sighed, pulling the car over as they reached the ‘Welcome to Hawkins’ road sign. “The little girl who asked me about you? It wasn’t just a random little girl.”

“Holly?” Nancy sat up in her seat.

“Karen was having a rough time processing everything. Any question Holly asked her about what happened would get shut down. At some point she got frustrated and came to me. Asked for the whole story.” Robin explained. “I gave her it. I told her about you being brave, strong, etcetera. But I told her everything else, too. Losing your friend, not being able to tell your parents. Nancy, she thinks the world of you.”

“Come on. She barely even spoke to me yesterday.”

“She’s shy, probably a little intimidated.” Robin chuckled. “I know you don’t feel like a hero. But seriously, there is nothing you could do that’ll stop her from believing it. It’s not about what you do, Nancy, it’s about how much you fought to get here. Sure, you’re working an office job, but in another universe you’d be dead. We all would be.”

“You said she wanted to be like me when she grew up. She wouldn’t. Not this me.”

“Do you want to be this you?” Robin asked.

“No.”

“Go home, Nancy. Spend time with her. Make a friend.”

“What if she realises I’m not good enough? What if I stop being her hero?” Nancy asked.

Robin shook her head. “It won’t happen. You’ve done the heroic part, it’s over. You just gotta do the rest.”

Nancy took Holly shopping. She wasn’t sure what Holly was into these days, but shopping felt like a good place to start.

“Do you remember those earrings you had, the stars?” Holly asked. “I liked those.”

“I think I still have them. I can’t believe you remember that.” Nancy replied.

“I liked those ones.” Holly hummed. “Did you ever wear them during a battle?”

“Uh… yeah, maybe? I mean, I don’t remember exactly what earrings I wore then, but I got them around the right time.” 

“How did you choose what to wear? I always figured I’d categorise my clothes. Like these boots would be good for kicking stuff, this jacket would be warm for the Upside Down. Did you do that?”

“Most of the time I didn’t really know anything bad would happen that day. That’s why I wore heels most of the time.” Nancy scoffed. “Bad idea.”

“You wore heels?! Like, while fighting monsters and shit?” Holly’s eyes widened. “Like, femme fatale.”

“I don’t think you quite know what that means.” Nancy snorted. “I was more… covered in dirt, sweat, and blisters.”

“Like Die Hard. Got it.” Holly nodded. “I have questions. Robin didn’t know the answer to all of them. But she told me that for some people it’s hard to talk about. Which I already know, because Mom never talks about it. But… if it’s hard for you, that’s fine, too.”

“It’s… no, you can ask me them.” Nancy agreed. She had to start somewhere, right?

Holly beamed. “Great. I have a lot of questions.”

She did. A lot. Even Nancy didn’t know the answer to some of them. But she could tell Holly that her revolver was stolen from Lonnie Byer’s car, the first time she saw something dead was that deer in the woods, and she’d never shot a guy, other than Henry.

“I have one last question.” Holly said. “Were you scared?”

“Scared?”

“Like, you weren’t that much older than me. It must have been scary. But you were so cool, and strong. So maybe you weren’t. I would be scared, I couldn’t do what you did.”

“I was terrified. That’s what made me strong.”

“Do you think I could do it, too, then? If I ever had to?” Holly looked almost hopeful.

“You won’t have to.”

“Yeah. Maybe I don’t want to find out if I’m good enough to fight. You made it all better for us, anyway.” Holly smiled. “I like hanging out with you. I thought you’d be different.”

“Different how?” Nancy felt her heart rate pick up.

“I don’t know, scarier? More… adult? Mom always said you had this big career in the city, I guess I pictured you with a suit and briefcase, or something.” Holly said. “You were too busy doing business stuff to care about me.”

“That’s not true. I… I care about you, a lot. The reason I’ve been so M.I.A…” she sighed, what was she supposed to say? “The reason is complicated, but it’s got nothing to do with you.”

“When are you going back to Boston?”

“I don’t know. Maybe… maybe I won’t. Not for a while.”

“Really?” Holly looked like a kid on Christmas Day.

“The truth is… I need something different. You gotta show me all the cool stuff around here. Boston wasn’t very fun, and I think I need to have some fun.” Nancy told her sister.

Nancy ate dinner at Robin’s place. It was small and cramped and full of stuff, and the exact kind of place Nancy longed for when she stared at her second bedroom.

“I’ve had more fun today than I’ve had since I was a kid.” Nancy admitted while Robin’s mouth was too full to do another ‘I told you so’ routine. “I just don’t know how to keep having fun.”

Robin wiped the food from the corner of her mouth with her sleeve. “We can go back to Boston in a day or two. Pick up some of your stuff, ditch the job and the apartment. Then in two weeks I’m heading back to Chicago. Just for a couple days. Gonna check out the museums, get some inspiration. Want to come along?”

“Sure. I do need to go apartment hunting around here, though. I really can’t stomach living at my parents again.” Nancy said.

“Live with me, I’ve got a spare room.”

“You do?! You judged me for my place, and this whole time you’ve had an empty room, too?” Nancy said.

“Before you it had Eddie, when he was passing through Hawkins. Max and Lucas stayed a while because they needed a romantic getaway during summer break and their parents places weren’t cutting it. Steve lived with me for the first year or two, but now he’s in Indy.” Robin replied. “See, Nancy? It’s not an empty room. It’s got you in it.”

Nancy stared at her empty room. Her new one. She hung the target practice sheet on the wall along with the polaroid of Holly taken earlier today. And suddenly, the room looked a whole lot less empty.