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Tommy loved Evan Buckley, in a way that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to express with language. He loved the way he smiled at everything, the way that he lit up every room, the way that sometimes when he was happy, Tommy could practically see his tail wagging. He loved Evan’s puppy dog eyes, and big hands, and the scars on his leg that proved that he was still there. He loved waking up next to Evan because he got to see the sleep-slack expression of a man without worries for just a few hours, and he loved to wake his boyfriend up with soft kisses to his temples and jaw, murmuring small phrases to him as a welcome to the day. He loved the sex, too, getting to fall asleep in Evan’s arms still sticky with sweat and barely cleaned up as they were exhausted, knowing that he was safe against Evan. He loved that Evan didn’t expect him to be one thing; if he wanted to be a pillow princess one afternoon and then take over and be Evan’s daddy that night, he could. He loved everything there was to love about Evan, and things that no one else would think to love, like the moles and freckles on his shoulders, and the irritated way he rolled his eyes, and the stutter his parents had tried so hard to train out of him as a kid. He even loved the stupid way he laughed when he was overly tired or slightly drunk, the donkey braying sound of a man amid a pure moment.
He could still remember the first time he heard it. They’d only been dating for a few weeks, and he’d convinced Evan to join him at karaoke trivia night. When he went with Eddie, they played for fun. It didn’t matter if they won or not, because it was just about hanging about with his friend. He should’ve known that going with Evan would be different, because Evan was a fount of knowledge about the weirdest shit, and he had been studying apparently. They destroyed the other teams, and it was beautiful to watch Evan preen over getting the bonus question right when no one else had. Evan looked beautiful anywhere, under the bar lights or in the relative darkness of Tommy’s bedroom, it didn’t matter, but there was just something otherworldly about Evan holding up the weekly trophy – a beer glass you could get filled as many times as you wanted that night – with that proud grin on his face. They drank a lot that night, and it was only when Tommy was trying to wrangle Evan into a cab to take them home that he heard it.
“No, no, but, but, baby, Tommy – no, look, look at them, ” Evan said, his voice far too loud as they stumbled towards the door. Tommy had his arm around Evan’s waist, but he was slippery and fast. It was weird that a man so large and bulky could be hard to grab onto and keep ahold of. “They were gorgeous . With the eye makeup, and the hair – god, they were pretty. I want to be pretty like that.”
“Baby, you are pretty,” Tommy assured him, and steered him away from the drag queens that Evan was pointing towards. “Stop pointing, you’re gonna get us in trouble.”
Evan somehow ducked out of his arms and slipped back towards the group.
“Oh, fuck,” Tommy groaned and hurried after his boyfriend. The drag queens were settled at a table with cocktails in front of them, and the closest one had her eyes on Evan as he approached. Tommy got jostled back by a crowd of college students who he doubted were legal age to drink, and by the time he reached them, the drag queen had her hand cupped around Evan’s chin to hold him still, the other holding a lip gloss wand carefully before swiping it along his lips. He was oddly still as he let her apply the gloss in a way that Tommy had never seen from him. Even in his sleep, Evan twitched and talked.
“Oh, now who’s this handsome hunk?” one of the other queens asked, and Evan lifted his eyes to meet Tommy’s gaze. “This your pretty boy, baby?”
“Yeah,” Evan said, and he grinned at Tommy. “This is Tommy, he’s my boyfriend. He’s a pilot, and he’s really hot.”
“He is,” the queen touching up Evan’s lip gloss said. “What’s your name, hot pilot boyfriend?”
“Tommy,” he answered.
“That’s a good name,” she said. “Alright, Buck, I’m done, sweetie. Let’s see what Tommy the hot pilot boyfriend thinks.”
She released his chin and Evan stops up straight, turning entirely to face Tommy. His lips pouted and drew Tommy’s eyes, the gloss catching the light and putting a spotlight on them.
“You look good,” he said, his voice rough, and the queens chuckled at the table as if they could see right through him.
“You think so?” Evan asked, and Tommy nodded. Evan grinned and launched himself into Tommy, letting Tommy catch him without worrying that he could. “Wanted to be pretty like you.”
He pressed a long kiss to Tommy’s lips before he drew away. He touched Tommy’s gloss-smeared mouth and let out the worst sound Tommy had ever come out of his mouth, and somehow the cutest sound at the same time. It was a honk from a dying goose, harsh to the ears and startling, but Tommy had never heard something so beautiful.
“What?” Tommy asked.
“I made a mess of you,” Evan breathed. “It’s cute.”
“I love you,” Tommy replied, and Evan grinned at him. “Don’t ever change, baby.”
“I won’t if you won’t,” Evan replied. “C’mon. I wanna go home now, see where else I can get lip gloss on you.”
Tommy laughed, pausing with one hand on Evan’s waist, taking out his wallet just to put a few bills on the table in front of the queens.
“Your drinks are on me. Thank you,” he said, before dragging Evan out of the bar and back to his house, and if a tube of lip gloss fell into his shopping basket the next time he was out shopping for groceries, that was no one else’s business except his and the man he loved.