Chapter Text
Kol slammed the door behind him when he entered the Mikaelson mansion. He was wearing a happy grin which was an unusual sight for his family nowadays. But little did he know that everyone in that house was aware of the reason for his sudden change of mood.
The vampire headed into the kitchen to have a drink and there he met his brother who was already sipping from his own glass of alcohol.
“Nik,” he greeted him cheerfully.
“I see you've had an enjoyable day indeed,” Klaus commented as he inspected his younger brother.
“Well, I'm not gonna lie.”
Kol pulled out one of the oldest bottles of bourbon they had there and poured himself a drink.
“Do you mind telling me who's behind this happy mood of yours?” Klaus questioned.
“Why should someone be behind it?” Kol returned the question and took a sip from his drink.
Klaus shrugged. “Just wondering. You're sure it's not that Salvatore sister though?”
“What do you mean?”
Kol avoided his brother's eyes. He wasn't aware his mutual friendship with you was so known among his family. Before he came home, he was outside to feed with you since you were also a vampire. The two of you met not so long after he was undaggered and brought back to life when he was on a mission to fill his body with the needed blood to regain energy.
And there he met you.
Damon and Stefan's younger sister.
You were currently feeding on a middle aged man when he stepped in, asking if he could join you. And ever since then you had been going out on hunts together.
You talked about your lives, about how many people you had killed and your family. You kept complaining about how annoying your brothers could get and in return Kol would tell you stories about his brothers and their former lives as humans. You would always sit there and listen to everything he had to say. It wasn't hard for Kol to find comfort in your presence because he couldn't remember anyone else who would willingly be in his company for so long.
“Don't even try to pretend she hasn't grown on you,” Klaus told him, knowingly smirking.
“She's a great company for a Salvatore.”
Klaus hummed in agreement. “You know, I'll never forget how quick you were to barge in here when you found out she had been bitten by a werewolf. You were begging me for my blood.”
“I remember it quite differently,” Kol objected.
“Strange. So you don't recall that you might have feelings for her?”
“Feelings? Are you drunk, brother?”
“I'm just merely pointing out facts,” Klaus said casually.
“Well, your facts are wrong,” Kol snapped back, his cheerful mood disappearing in the blink of an eye.
Kol gulped down the last remnants of his bourbon and harshly put down his now empty glass. It was a wonder it didn't crack from the impact. His brother's words opened something in him. It got him thinking about his shared moments with you. He hadn't loved. Never. In the thousand years of his life – from which he was daggered for a long time – he had never found someone he could imagine a future with. But what Klaus was saying… What if you had really grown on him? Just based on his thoughts about you alone he could tell you had definitely left a mark on his dark soul. And somehow he hadn't thought about this before Klaus mentioned it. In some way, everything with you just effortlessly flowed. Like a river. A peaceful river that took its time because it knew it had all the time in the world. There was no need to rush. And that's how Kol felt around you.
Could Klaus's words be true? Could he really have feelings for the Salvatore vampire? Or even more? Could he… love you? Could a psychotic maniac like him even love?
“Kol?” Klaus spoke after Kol had been standing there unmoving and quiet for a moment now.
“Why must you always be right, Nik?” Kol asked bitterly.
Klaus saw the realization on his brother's face. “You truly, hopelessly love her.”
Kol turned back around and grabbed the bottle of bourbon, this time drinking straight from it instead of using a glass.
“I can't love,” he spat out. “I don't want to love. There's just… no way.”
“Maybe there is.”
“No. I– I don't like what it means for me.”
“What does it mean for you?”
Kol chuckled dryly. “You're the one to talk. Your most favorite hobby is daggering your siblings and yet you're asking why the bloody hell it would bother me to love a girl.”
Kol kept battling his inner feelings. As if the realization of his love for you wasn't enough already, he also had to worry about his brother. He could literally dagger him any time he wished and he'd leave you behind with no explanation. Who knew what his siblings would tell you. That he'd left? Vanished? Fled?
His life was far too complicated as it was already.
And now he felt like he was drowning in his feelings.