Chapter Text
Teru doesn't do love.
It was something his father told him. Which was ironic, but he let slide. After all, love was an alienated thing for him. He does wonder what it would feel like.
He remembers back when he was a kid and saw his parents whispering words of love. He too wished to feel that, so he asked. He asked his father one day, and that idea was shut down immediately. Minamotos don't do love.
He thinks love stupid then.
‐‐‐
Years later, and he still does.
He watched as a first-year loudly confess to someone only to be rejected. Bright auburn hair flowing in the wind as the purple hair only seemed to give a fake smile. The boy looked dejected before he bounced back up with he smile.
He feels something as he watches it go down. He didn't know if it was because the boy seemed too desperate or because that's a supernatural walking. What an annoyance a boy like that had the power of a supernatural.
He seemed too human.
He reeks too many negative energy to even be fully considered as a human.
‐‐‐
Love is a pitiful thing, but he gets it.
He had his sword drawn out, slightly nipping the skin of the clock keeper. An impassive look on his face as he towered over the shaking boy. It had only been a few minutes since he had cornered the anomaly, the cold tension hanging in the air as words spilled from them both.
He closed his eyes and sighed. He felt pity for the body, he supposed, he wasn't sure about what he felt. The first year was tricked into becoming one of them. Playing with a student's life just to curse someone. How disgraceful.
He eventually withdraws his katana and resheathed it. He hears the heavy sigh from the boy on the floor. Teru says a few words to him before putting his charming smile back up and leaving the empty hallway.
He thinks it's slightly too stupid to risk so much for someone you want to date, but he gets the idea.
Although he's stronger than the boy, and unlike him, he knows how to protect the people he cherished.
‐‐‐
Teru was now a second-year in high school, and he thinks love is confusing.
He thinks back throughout his year in the Komome school. Ever since his third term in his first year of middle school, he found himself gradually gaining a reputation, and many, many admirers.
It was awkward at first. His whole childhood consisted of him being lonely and out of place from his peers, so it was rather a big change for him. So, when he started to get flocked by students, letters continuesly getting shoved to his face by both men and women. He felt a bit bashful.
The attention was a bit too much, but he still acted polite to the people. They didn't do anything wrong since, from what he had read, love makes people different. Plus, the people were kind anyway. They didn't do anything weird or anything pushy.
He also thinks it's a great way to hear about rumors more easily if he simply asked someone.
But, he does find it confusing when he tries to fully understand it. He has read and watched romance novels and shows and observed it. He uses the information provided when he rejects someone. He always felt bad when he did. But he finds himself thinking why people would go out of their way when he constantly rejects people and have said that he wasn't interested.
Why do people go for others even when they knew they would be rejected?
His eyes followed the teary-eyed girl walking away from him, another rejection.
Teru sighs. Love is confusing.
‐‐‐
Teru watched as Aoi ranted about his crush. He almost wanted to smack him.
Aoi to teru was probably the most weirdest person he ever came across when it came to love. He would never understand why the redhead would constantly declare his love to someone who clearly shows no interest.
He was pathetic. (No hate to his fans, though. Aoi was just a different breed.)
A teased slipped out of Teru and the vice president spat out a curse. He laughed at the showcase of the boy's emotions. He finds it rather interesting how one could simply be different when in love.
He wonders what it feels like to love someone that deeply.
So, he found himself swallowing a tiny bit of his pride and asked the most pathetic man he knew.
“Aoi.“
“No.“
The immediate response had Teru deadpanning at the copper eyed male. He hadn't even said anything yet, how rude. It wasn't like he was gonna do something.
“Don't be mean to your senior, Aoi. I'm just going to ask a simple question.“ The cerulean eyed male spoke was faux exasperation.
“Is it a beneficial one? One that won't annoy me?“ Akane raised a brow at him. Annoyance and speculation swimming in his eyes.
“Well, it would benefit me.“ Teru replied with a smile, “it's just a question made from my own curiosity.“
Akane stared for a while before speaking, “And it's?“
“How does love feel like?“
It sounded robotic and inhumane. It sounded better in Teru's mind than it did when he brought it out. He felt a bit squeamish after asking that question. He felt like it was an odd thing to say.
“For you, I mean.“ He added, hoping it would save his odd question.
Akane never anticipated that question from him. He was waiting for another annoying question that he knew would tick him off. It was an odd one, for sure.
“Uh, well,” he started off, a slight hum resonating from him as he thought about it.
“Love to Ao-chan feels… euphoric. I mean, I always feel happy around her, and I can't help but feel blessed every time I'm with her. She's like a big, big blanket that would always engulf me and keep me warm. I love her so much. She always keeps me up on my toes and makes me feel all giddy inside. She captives me with her smile alone. I would never stop loving her. She means a lot to me.“
Teru watched as he rumbled about his feelings. The way his pupils would dilate and blush would adorn his freckled cheeks. He watched with outermost curiosity. Aoi's words fascinated him.
Is that how love felt like?
You'll feel warm and euphoric? Makes you giddy, almost like those so-called butterflies would burst out any moment? Makes you never stop loving them?
He knows what family love felt like, but never romantic love. He loves his family, obviously. His siblings were who he took care of.
What's the difference between platonic love and romantic love anyway?
He never had friends. Always one to keep people at arms distance. Maybe Aoi would count. He always felt at ease with him. He was the one who knew him outside the person he was to others. He t-word-ed him, too.
Almost every time they talked to each other, he felt like he didn't need to please him in any way. Because Teru knows insults and banters were thrown around. He had fun with Aoi.
Teru smiled even more, and Akane caught it. His rambling about his love ended for a while now. He thought of the smile to be condescending. He felt a tease would come sooner or later. Which did since now the auburn student was now flipping the blonde male off.
Yeah, Aoi was someone he would potentially feel platonic liking to.
‐‐‐
Days later, Aoi's words were still stuck in Teru's mind. Love was a really complicated thing.
How does one fall in love anyway?
He has seen multiple people fall in and out of love in seconds. Teru never understood the nature of it. Even when he has read about or anything romance related, he still finds himself stuck.
What do they mean about the metaphor “feeling butterflies in your stomach”? Or when you felt your mouth dry up and you feel weak? Or maybe about the feeling of being subconscious about yourself when it came to love?
He doesn't think he has fallen with someone before. He never felt what people would say when they had a crush. Well, he does when he talks to Aoi, but when he searched in Google, it told him it was a platonic crush, so he went with it.
It did make sense since he was rather lonely in life. Not that he'll ever openly say it. He was fine that way anyway.
He's simply happy now that he has someone to annoy. No expectations to put up front.
He sees Aoi like a friend who was constantly being bugged by him. He has seen his peers like that, so he knows he's doing something right.
‐‐‐
Teru proclaimed to himself that he'll never experience love.
He had come to terms with it before, but he was sure now. He was majorly busy, and he wasn't that close to anyone to consider them someone he'd love.
Teru had analyzed the people who were more interactive to him than the rest.
Aikawa-san, his classmate in front of him, was a nice guy. He wouldn't say he was a friend, but a great acquaintance to be with. He does find him an okay person to hang out with. They talked during breaks while they waited for the teacher, so maybe?
Tagaki-san, someone who walks with him for classes from time to time, was an objectively cute girl. She was sweet to him and would help him with his fans when he finds himself in a hurry. He was relieved when she said she didn't want to do anything with her crush on him. Teru didn't want to hurt a lovely acquaintance of his. She was lovely, but he couldn't see himself with her.
Moriyama-senpai was someone Teru found himself talking to. She was a hardworker, she was the past treasurer for the student council. She wasn't someone who would back down or let people walk over her. She knew her status and work, and she stood by it. She was kind and helpful too, always doing her best to help everyone. She seemed like someone he'd date, but it felt a bit too off. Like he's missing something.
A sigh was let out, and he opened his eyes. Legs pushed against the ground as he lightly rocked the swing he was sitting on.
They all seemed like someone he'd date. He didn't know why he felt off by all of them. They all made into the checklist he made when he thought about finding who he'd love.
People all around him was falling in love, and for once Teru felt behind.
Not that he'd ever love someone or be with someone. He just wanted to indulge on a silly dream of his.
Was it too much to ask?
To know what it felt like to love someone to the point of feeling weak in the knees?