Chapter Text
I woke up at the hospital. I could remember perfectly why I was there, and the bandages covering my right eye and half of my head were confirming my memories. For some reason, I cried. Tears were flowing down my left cheek, as I knew what I had to do: telling them. I needed to tell them, about everything that happened. I wiped my tears off my cheek, and walked out of my room. Looking around the pale and cold corridors of the hospital, I saw KEL, AUBREY and HERO, but... Not the real ones. They jumped around as soon as they noticed me, before running out of the hospital. I didn't follow. I've had enough of seeing those "dream versions" of my friends. In the same corridor, I could see that uncanny version of BASIL I used to meet in my dreams. Unlike the others, he headed further into the hospital, before entering a room. I walked after him, my instinct was telling me to. I walked into the room he went in, and…
I saw them. The "real" them. They were all standing next to BASIL, who was in the hospital bed, still asleep. It was my fault if he was there, our secret was just getting way too hard for him to keep it, yet, I still let him carry the weight of it. And it was eventually my fault if everything had gone wrong the past three days. Now, I feel ready to tell the truth, that's what BASIL would have wanted... Right? Whatever, sorry if that somehow wasn't the case, BASIL. As AUBREY, KEL and HERO were standing there, astonished, I took a deep breath. I was scared of their reaction. Would they forgive me? Would they even try? No matter what now, it was too late to go back.
"I have something to tell you."
They looked at me curiously, but also seemed to be relieved, as if hearing my voice for the first time since I came out of my house three days ago was reassuring them. However, I definitely wasn't here to tell good news. According to KEL's nervous reaction to my words, he already knew that he wouldn't like what he was about to hear, or maybe he was just trying not to laugh as he realized my voice didn't really change in four years. Let's get back to the point... I breathed slowly, and I looked at them, straight into the eyes.
"About MARI... It was my fault."
They looked at me as if I just had gone crazy. HERO sighed as he immediately looked away, which I totally understand. He probably wanted to avoid talking about this.
AUBREY walked closer to me, holding an emphatic glare to me.
"SUNNY, it's our fault, to each one of us... We probably weren't here for her when she needed people to help her…” She gently placed her hand onto my shoulder. KEL nodded.
“AUBREY is right for once, pal... It can't be just your fault, we also are guilty…"
Said KEL, as he joined walked up to us. I could feel tears starting to fall down my cheek again. I wasn't sad, but scared. Should I actually tell them? How would they react? How would HERO react, him who loved her more than anything? What was I supposed to do? As questions were rushing through my mind, AUBREY and KEL asked me if I was okay. I took a few steps back in panic, ready to run away, but I felt like SOMETHING stopped me and slightly pushed my back. However, that thing wasn't the one that ran after me in my nightmares, but the one who gently took my hand to walk by my side in my dreams. It wasn't the thing that would stare at me with a morbid eye, but the one who looked at me with love and care. Those two things, were actually one: MARI.
I felt her hand on my back, slightly pushing me into the room. She used to do this when I was too nervous to do something, just like when we met KEL, HERO, and their family. I was so uneasy about meeting people I didn’t know, yet, they became my closest friends. Maybe that was what she tried to tell me through that gesture, that thanks to efforts and will to go through the hardest, the most beautiful miracle can happen. Today, the hardest effort I had to do was telling them the truth. The most beautiful miracle? They were. They were my miracle, that’s why I had to be honest with them. They needed to know what happened.
"No, you don't understand... MARI didn't kill herself…"
AUBREY and KEL just looked at me with confusion, but HERO stared at me with despair. He rushed to me and grabbed my shoulders, slightly shaking me.
"SUNNY?! Why are you saying that?! Who killed her?! Tell me!!" I never saw him so despaired and angry before. He started crying, out of frustration.
"I did."
HERO's glare slowly went from sadness to realization. It looked like his heart just got snapped in half. AUBREY covered her mouth, completely shocked, while KEL’s eyes widened, he probably couldn’t believe what I said. His older brother, meanwhile, couldn't stand anymore and fell down onto his knees with empty eyes. I myself got onto my knees, waiting for him to answer. I could see it according to his face. He was lost, lost in his thoughts, lost in his memories. It was painful for me to see him this way. All my life, HERO has been a role model to my eyes, the kind of man who is able to take responsibility, who is able to take care of everyone, who can handle the most stressful situation to make the hardest choices, but now, even someone like him just couldn’t keep up with the events.
AUBREY and KEL immediately got down next to him to comfort him, at least a little. I was expecting them to yell at me, maybe even to punch me, but... They looked broken, too broken to even want to. I didn’t dare moving my hand to HERO to bring him some reassurance, but I think it wasn’t really so bad. HERO didn’t need nor even want me to cheer him up. He still was trying to process what I said, but was staring at me. I could see it, I knew his gaze more than anyone. He was horrified, he was seeing me as a monster, the monster who killed MARI.
"I-It was an accident... I swear I didn't mean it to happen…" His tears were flowing down his cheeks, his eyes filled with terror. He couldn’t stop them from running from his eyes and dripping on the floor.
"SUNNY... Tell me this isn't true... Look into my eyes and tell me this isn't true…" He was trying his best not to face the truth, hoping that all of this was just a nightmare and he would wake up soon.
"The night before the recital, something... Snapped inside of me. I just couldn't handle more violin lessons, I just was feeling like I wasn't progressing and that it was a waste of time, so... I took the violin you all gave me for Christmas and I threw it downstairs, and it eventually broke. MARI woke up and yelled at me, but I didn't listen to her and tried to go downstairs to get the violin pieces. She tried to stop me, and I-I struggled and pushed her downstairs... I-I tried to wake her up, b-but... S-She never did... BASIL was there and he told me to make it look like a suicide, and... I-I accepted..."
And then, nothing but silence. I couldn't do anything but waiting for the consequences. Maybe things would get worse? Maybe they wouldn't? Whatever, now. The truth was revealed. HERO stood up quickly covering his mouth, about to throw up.
"I... I need to get out…" He ran out of the room. AUBREY then walked closer to me. She yelled at me, her eyes watering.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" She then ran after HERO. KEL then slowly walked after her, avoiding to meet my gaze.
"I-I should probably... You know..."
I had just lost my three best friends in less than a few minutes. I was feeling miserable, more than ever, but that’s all I deserved. After all, I knew the risks of confessing, and I was ready to face them. I was now left alone in that quiet, cold hospital room, facing BASIL, as he slowly woke up from his sleep. I really didn’t go easy on him, as he has a black-eye and multiple bandages over his face. He didn’t toyed with me though… My eye wouldn’t be able to work properly for a while because of him, but whatever now. Our nightmare was finally finished.
"SUNNY? What... Happened?”
“I told them.”
“W-What? You mean...”
“Yes. Everything.”
For some reason, BASIL didn't even ask or said anything. He just smiled at me, as he looked way less nervous than usual. I just smiled back, with a sigh. We didn’t need words to express our relief. All this nightmare was finally done.
A few days later, MOM came for me at the hospital, crying and hugging me as she brought me back home. During those past days, I didn't get any visit of my friends, the only thing I got is an eye-patch, but I had no rights to complain. We had to stay three more days to FARAWAY TOWN, because of what happened, which means I had a lot of free time ahead. However, now that the house was empty and that my friends hated me, I didn’t know what to do. MOM and I arrived at our home, but I had nothing to do around here, and there was no way I stay inside for three days. I’ve had enough of staying inside my house, I want to go outside, to enjoy the bit of time I have left here. I got ready to go outside as soon as we arrived, but my mother looked at me and stopped me from going anywhere.
"SUNNY, I need to talk to you." I looked up at her, and listened. She was holding a worried, nervous glare. I could already guess what she was about to say.
"Your friends... They told me about what happened with MARI... Look straight into my eyes, and tell me... Do you realize what you've done?”
“Yes.”
“Do you even realize how I feel just by looking at you?!”
“Yes.”
“How can you even dare looking at me after what you did?!”
“I don't know.”
“You make me sick… Since that day...”
She was furious, in a rage you just couldn’t try to soothe. But most of all, she was being rude. I couldn’t really argue with that. She suddenly grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, staring into my eyes, while I wasn’t able to push her away. For some reason, despite her pure wrath, I had the feeling she wouldn’t try to hurt me. Her hands were shaky, and her gaze was hesitant, which revealed her intentions. She was also biting her lips out of nervousness, as she shed tears. She couldn’t. She didn’t have the guts to hurt me. Letting go of my collar, MOM wrapped her arms around me, before speaking with a trembling voice.
“SUNNY... You're the only family I have left... P-Please, don't tell me you'll leave like he did...”
“I promise I won't, mom.”
She was, for sure, talking about my father. I hate him for leaving her all alone the day he discovered about MARI. Instead of staying by her side to support each other emotionally, he just has left the house. MOM only ended up alone, with no daughter, no husband, and no more son left. I shouldn’t be surprised seeing MOM so close to breakdown. She has lost everything, not only her family, but also all her self-confidence as a mother. She probably was questioning herself a lot about her utility as a mother. What did she done wrong with me? If we take a closer look, she didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one who did, but eventually, as a mother, she was feeling guilty for my own acts. MOM is probably the one who suffered the most because of me, yet, she still felt like living with me. As she said earlier, I’m the only family she has now, she didn’t want to see me going away too.
After a few minutes hugging me, MOM headed to her bedroom without words, leaving me all alone. Now, I had an idea of what to do. I took my last dollars, headed to FIX-IT, and bought a few flowers. I then walked to the CHURCH, the same where AUBREY used to go. I tried to keep quiet so people wouldn't notice me. They wouldn’t like seeing me back here after the fight with AUBREY... I headed to the GRAVEYARD, still holding the flowers. It was so quiet, only the sounds of birds chirping and the wind blowing could be heard. I looked for MARI's grave, and saw… AUBREY? I didn’t expect to see her again, but I wasn’t surprised to see her here. She has told me how she used to come here to pray. I didn’t want to bother, but I wouldn’t go. Soon, she noticed me approaching, and immediately picked her nail bat as she yelled at me.
"Y-You?! What are you doing here?! How can you even come back here?!"
I kept quiet, as I walked up to MARI's grave, and placed the flowers on it. I then just closed my eyes, as to pay a tribute to my sister. I wasn’t here to fight, nor to beg for AUBREY’s forgiveness. She watched me, but didn't stop me. I could feel she was staring at me with anger, but she didn't do anything. After a few seconds, she stood by my side, paying a tribute as well.
“Why did you do that?”
“Why did I do what?”
“Why did you lie?”
I couldn't answer, and I didn’t. I didn't even know, to be honest. Probably because I was scared, unable to know what to do. There was an innumerable amount of reasons why I should have told the truth from the beginning, but I just didn’t think about them, four years ago. I just did what I thought would be the safest for me, this was hideously selfish of me. I don’t exactly remember the reasons that pushed me to hide MARI’s death, but I think I was scared of the consequences. I was sure that everyone would hate me for what I did, and that they all would just leave me. Because of my selfishness, during four years, I didn’t want to see my friends, but on the other hand, I didn’t want to be left alone. In fact, I’m the one who left them all when they needed to make sure I was okay.
“SUNNY...”
“Hm?”
“Are… Are you alright?”
“What do you mean?
“Are you okay?”
“…”
“…”
“After confessing what I did, it’s like a huge burden on my shoulders disappeared.”
“SUNNY..”
“…”
“You’re crying…”
“...”
“You went through hell, didn't you?” She sounded genuinely concerned. I nodded.
“...I’m here, if you want to talk about it.”
She said, moving next to me. However, I didn’t say anything. I was confused, and I wasn't sure to understand. Why didn't she leave? How could she say that after what happened? Her, whose life has been disturbed because of me? I glanced at her face, but she didn’t seem to be kidding, in fact, she looked dead serious. Nevertheless, I wasn’t really sure about this. I never really vented to anyone but MARI, I feel like I would just bother by doing so. As I was still hesitating, I felt AUBREY’s skin touching mine, her hand against mine, before gently holding it. I couldn’t see it, but I’m pretty sure I slightly flushed from the touch. I had forgotten the feeling of her skin, and yet, it has unlocked lots of memories. It was still as soft as it used to be. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and spoke.
“It was the worst thing I could possibly go through.”
“…”
“I… I didn’t want to do anything the whole day, so I mostly just slept.”
“For four years?”
“Mhm. To put it in simple words, I isolated myself in my dreams.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well… In my dreams, we all would be living adventures together, and… MARI was still alive… And so, every time I woke up, I just did a few chores, and went back to sleep right away.”
“But… Didn’t you eat?”
“Only once everyday.”
“Only once?! But… What about your mother? Wasn’t she around to take care of you?”
I kept quiet. I didn’t want to talk about MOM, it just was painful for me. However, I felt AUBREY’s thumb gently rubbing my hand as she was holding it in hers. This was a reflex I had back then, when I was holding her hand while listening to her on the swings as she vented. Despite not being looking at each other, this gesture let me understand she was ready to listen to me.
“I think… She just avoided me.”
“She… She avoided you?”
“She never was at home, and barely left anything to eat when she went away to check for new houses.”
“...”
I glanced up at her, as she didn’t answered this time. She looked pretty focused on what I was saying. I know she was ready to listen to me, but I just didn’t feel like talking more about this for now. AUBREY came back to her senses and looked at me into the eyes, I was feeling weird since I never actually vented to her, I always used to be the listener. This time, the roles were reversed. I wasn’t sure I was feeling better, but I felt like another burden disappeared from my shoulders. We both looked back at the grave.
“I heard you would go in three days, right?”
“Y-Yeah.”
“Please, come back from times to times. And do me a favor... Take care of yourself. You look like a corpse.” I felt my ears turning red as she said so.
"SUNNY, honestly, I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for what you did, but... I don't want you to be alone again.” We both kept quiet, looking at MARI’s grave for an entire minute. Soon, AUBREY looked up at the sky.
“I better get going.”
“Oh, sure.”
“...Meet me at the park tomorrow. There is something I want you to do.”
She looked at me one last time, and let go of my hand, walking out the GRAVEYARD. I watched her going away, as I felt... Relieved, yet, unsure. What did she wanted me to do? Well, that wasn’t really important for now. I walked out of the GRAVEYARD, going back home. I wondered how KEL and HERO were doing, even AUBREY didn’t seem to have gotten any of their news. It was too late to check on them, though. On my way back home, I looked at every houses around. In less than three days, I’ll move out to the city with MOM. In less than three days, I won’t even be part of this town anymore.
To Be Continued...