Chapter Text
His heart was struggling to beat in between his inflamed lungs. Which made his pulse all the more recognizable.
“God, that was hard. I'm so glad that I had a chibi here to protect me~” He moves closer to Chyuua as they are walking. He doesn't notice but a small blush spreads on the ginger’s cheeks.
He stops walking. “We need to talk” Dazai only takes a few more steps before noticing his companion stopped. He turns around to face him.
“Oh?” He puts on his curious face, as if he has no idea what is about to come out of the other person's face. “But Chibi-”
“No. I have to talk.” He takes a breath, something that is almost a struggle. “I am in love with you.”
The air sits still for a moment before the words come out of his mouth as if he has rehearsed them for this occasion. “Well isn't everyone?”
“Dazai, I'm being serious.” He sighs. “I hate that I'm telling you this. I hate that I'm even feeling this way” His voice becomes louder as he goes through the sentence.
He moves his hand to his chest with a flourish “I know, everyone just loves me so much-”
“Fuck Dazai.”He drags out the fuck in obvious annoyance. “Why the fuck do I feel this? Why cant you fucking listen? Why am I even fucking telling you this?” He moves his hand to his face. Dazai doesn't respond. He opens his mouth but the words come out of Chyuua’s mouth first. “No. It's fine. I'll go. Forget I said anything'' He starts to walk away. When Dazai grabs his shoulder to stop him.
He drops the fake face that he had. “I can't forget it.” He has to look down slightly to make eye contact.
Chyuua jerks his shoulder away from Dazai’s grasp. “Well you don't feel the same way. I know that. I knew that. This conversation doesn't change anything.”
“And how would you know that? I didn't expect the great mafioso to be so self conscious~” He tries not to overdo the response, knowing the tension between them. He can sense the tension between them.
Chyuua makes eye contact with him. “I have hanakahi.” They both go silent for a second. When Dazai didn't respond after a few moments he continued. “It's when you have unrequited love. Flowers start growing in your lungs.” Dazai breaks eye contact but still doesn’t say anything. “I've had it for a while.”
“Why did you confess to me?” His hand is still somewhat outstretched when he starts and he lowers it to be next to him.
“Really? Thats all you fucking say?” His face starts turning red and he gets louder than he was.
“What do you want me to say?” He starts to get louder as well. Chyuua opens his mouth but Dazai speaks first. “That I'm sorry? That I love you? That I didn't notice you've been sick for months and I was hoping that you were finally going to talk to me about it?” His eyes become moist but the rest of his face is dry. Chyuua opens his mouth and closes it multiple times before the noise comes out of his swollen throat.
“I'll talk to you later.” He walks away and this time he isn't stopped. This makes both of them feel a pit in their stomach that is forced to be ignored.