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There must've been a catalyst, Thor decided, that urged Loki to stay with the recently departed people of Asgard. After his grand heroic act bringing the Statesman to his crumbling home to save the very people he’d claimed he had no relation to, Thor was certain his brother would simply vanish after the task was completed, as he had done many times before. Though, after his appearance in Thor’s room the very first night on their voyage, and in the halls a couple times after that, Thor was beginning to believe that Loki had finally turned a new tide and decided to stay for once. What that change of heart really meant, he didn't particularly care. Honestly, Thor was just happy to see him out and about.
Some wariness remained, however, towards Loki’s sudden and obvious aversion to him. He seemed to be interacting with the other Asgardians just fine, but he hadn’t said a word to Thor since their reunion that night in his room. He chalked it up to resentfulness, because Loki had a bad habit of simply ignoring someone if he was angry with them, especially when he was younger. To be resorting back to such childish behaviors now, however, irked Thor. Loki had never been one to consciously work though his emotions, and that often resulted in some decidedly bad behaviors. Perhaps he was simply dealing with things the only way he knew how to in the moment. Whatever the case was, it was unnerving being completely and totally ignored by his brother.
This silent anger towards Thor, if it was even that, was nothing new, he just hoped Loki would work himself through his issue before it reached a boiling point, as it had done before an infamous couple of times. Thor didn’t have time to deal with one of Loki’s moods, he had a recently devastated people to lead, and they needed him now more than ever.
That was the conclusion Thor came to with a hum, standing at the helm of the Statesman, tapping a pencil rhythmically on the steering controls. But, he pondered with concentrated inhale, what of the catalyst? What was the defining moment that convinced Loki to stay? Was it their chat in the elevator on Sakaar? Thor had been reflecting on that conversation a lot as of late, about Loki’s mildly–hidden surprised face at the mention of Thor’s adolescent admiration of his brother. Surely he knew? Surely Loki didn’t think so little of himself?
“Brother, I thought the world of you,” Thor had said. Did Loki really need a confession for him to realize that? Sure, Loki had been the center or cause for a handful of horrible things, but that didn’t mean Thor hated him outright. He loved his brother unconditionally, but that love was hard to realize sometimes.
A disappointingly large part of Thor was still waiting for another betrayal, almost expecting it. A smaller, louder part of him screamed that something was amiss, that Loki was hiding something other than one of his own schemes. He recalled a brief moment yesterday, in which he caught Loki staring out of the grand window at the helm, into space, with an almost frightened expression on his face. Thor didn’t have a chance to study the moment, because Loki noticed him almost immediately and assumed his carefully constructed neutral demeanor in the blink of an eye. In the moment, Thor just assumed he had a small fear of the cosmos, due to less than fortunate experiences with the realm, but since then, a question came to mind; what exactly happened to Loki after he fell off the Rainbow Bridge? Thor ran a hand down his face and groaned.
“You’re thinking about him again,” came Valkyrie's voice, who was accompanying him at the helm.
“I am not,” Thor mumbled, distracted.
Valkyrie shot him a look. “You’re very bad at lying,” she said, sauntering over to the window. “I’ve been spotting him around medical. Lurking.”
Thor stopped tapping his pencil. “He’s been ignoring me. Hasn’t said a word since that night.”
“So you’ve said. Why do you care, anyway?” Valkyrie said. “You’ve got bigger fish to fry than pondering if baby brother suddenly hates you or not, majesty. Ponder those star maps,” she said, jabbing a finger in the direction of the console. “You’ve got a kingdom to rule, taxes and stuff.”
Thor huffed out a laugh. “It’s not that, Val,” he looked around suddenly to make sure there were no evesdroppers, then assumed a hushed voice, reminiscent of a gossiping child, as if he were about to spill Asgard’s (second) biggest secret. “I think he’s hiding something.”
Valkyrie eyed him boredly and blinked twice. “Really, the God of Lies has a secret? That's rich.”
“No, I’m serious,” Thor said. “He wouldn’t have stayed otherwise. What was he doing in medical?”
Valkyrie shrugged. “Beats me. He’s a healer, right? Maybe he was, y’know, healing? I wouldn't get my hopes up, though.”
Thor pressed his lips into a thin line, looking up from the console to meet Valkyrie’s eyes. “He’s not injured, right?”
Valkyrie snorted. “Don’t know, don’t care,” she said. “But I don’t think so. Stop worrying.”
“I'm only wary that he’s planning something to harm us, as much as I hate the thought.” Thor said, planting both hands on the console and hunching forward.
Valkyrie’s face fell. “You don't think he is, right?”
“No,” Thor said hesitantly. “But, I cannot be certain, given his, well, history.”
Valkyrie offered a brief, awkward smile. “You’re putting the people first, don’t feel guilty about being a little cautious.” She walked over and gave Thor’s shoulder a firm squeeze. “Just be their king. Whatever happens happens.”
Thor squared his jaw. “Right, thanks.”
“Talk to him, Thor, if you’re so worried. If he refuses, at least you can say you tried. But,” Valkyrie said, her face darkening, “if he tries something, I can’t guarantee you I’ll be friendly about it.”
Thor shot Valkyrie a warning glance. “I'll talk to him.”
Valkyrie offered another awkward grin. “Good luck, big guy.”
An uncomfortable silence stretched between them as Thor shuffled on his feet. Valkyrie pointed at a spot on one of the star maps.
“Um, I think Xonplete C is our best shot for cheap fuel, lots of brokers there that are easy to bribe,” she said.
“Ah,” Thor said, “yes. The fuel. How many jumps away is it?”
“Three,” Valkyrie said.
Thor didn't respond, staring down at the maps, distracted, his haze hard. Valkyrie snapped her fingers in front of his face.
“Hey, majesty,” she said sternly. “He’s fine, and if he isn't, he will be. If all else fails, I'll make sure of it myself.”
Valkyrie smiled, and this time it was genuine. Thor smiled back. “Thanks, Val,” he said.
She stayed with Thor through the night, and together, they charted a course for Xonplete C, engaging in mindless small talk that helped quiet Thor’s mind, even if it was only momentary. However, that night after they had both retired to bed (or to the bar), the moment passed, and Thor was left to dwell on his thoughts again. The Statesman carried pilotable escape pods, if Loki wanted to leave, he very well could have, so why in all the Nine did he stay? What was he doing in medical? Sure, he was a healer, but he didnt often offer his skills as a service. Was he indeed injured, then? That didn't make sense, either, because, again, Loki was a healer, and that included to his own self. He had miraculously survived fatal wounds before, so an injury wasn't necessarily a cause for concern. He probably was just angry at Thor, or at something else, and he was overthinking it, a bad habit as of recent.
Thor turned over on his sleeping mat to face the stars outside his window. Asgard was safe for another day, but the future held cold uncertainty. Fuel would last them another calendar week, and food and water stores were limited, but adequate. Thor sighed. On paper, everything was fine, so rationally, he shouldn't worry. It was never that easy, though. Part of him was hoping that Loki would be gone once he woke, simply so he wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.
Thor closed his eyes. Curse his brother for causing so many issues, even when he wasn't physically around. He cursed himself, too, for devoting so much of his brain to something that was probably fine. Perhaps he should just sleep on it, the most rational thought he'd had yet. And so, Thor did, his mind falling into eventual, blissful silence.
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When Thor awoke, he did not think of his brother. When he arose from his bed and attended to his daily morning routine as king of Asgard, not a single thought regarding Loki fronted into his mind. When he stood at the helm and groggily reevaluated their route through space, nothing. Thor refused to spend another day ruminating over less important matters, and the matter of Loki and whatever mood he holed himself in was far less important than running a kingdom.
He succeeded, right up until he nearly knocked Loki over outside of his bedroom by turning the corner and running straight into him.
“Sorry,” Loki mumbled automatically, seemingly unaware of who he just spoke to. He looked tired, droopy eyes sunken into dark circles. Those tired eyes flicked up to Thor’s face, then they widened in realization. “Thor.”
“Loki,” Thor greeted back. Yesterday, he had about a million questions prepared for this exact moment, but now, nothing came to mind. “Um, hi,” he said lamely. Perhaps the surprise ruined it.
Loki huffed and tried to side–step Thor to continue on his journey down the hall, but Thor quickly stepped back into his path.
“Wait,” he said, “please. Just– wait.”
“I don’t have time for this,” Loki said, glaring holes through Thor.
“You look tired,” Thor blurted, and regretted it almost immediately.
“I just woke up, if you must know,” Loki grumbled. “What do you want?”
Thor smiled nervously. “Answers, to some– some questions I have. Regarding you.”
Loki rolled his eyes at the words and Thor internally scolded himself. “But! But, I deserve some answers, at least to this…” he waved vaguely, “silent treatment you seem to be giving me.”
“Why should I talk to you?” Loki said. “Haven't I done enough for you to grant me some peace for once? I’m perfectly fine with how things are right now, thank you.”
Thor blinked bewilderedly. “Perfectly– Loki, if you wanted to be left alone, you could’ve just asked. Must you always make things so unnecessarily complicated?”
Loki’s lips curled up into one of the fakest smiles Thor had ever seen. “I’d like to be left alone,” he said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more important things to do.”
Loki attempted to shove past Thor, but he grabbed Loki by the shoulder and spun him back around to meet his eyes. Loki immediately jerked away from the touch, as if Thor’s hand had burned him.
“Do not touch me,” he growled.
Thor raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, just hear me out. I’m only asking you to answer one question. Just one,” he said.
The corner of Loki’s mouth twitched. “Fine,” he said, “I will answer one, then you will leave me alone.”
“Thank you,” Thor said, then met Loki’s eyes, and mentally prepared himself for anything, as he asked, “What were you doing in medical?”
Loki’s face fell, paling a little before he quickly regained his composure, as if a switch had just been flipped. “There are numerous injured Asgardians with a very severe lack of competent healers,” he said coolly. “I’ve taken it upon myself to help.”
Thor furrowed his brow, opening and closing his mouth, processing. “I don’t believe you.”
Loki’s face paled further, even as a flash of anger crossed it. “I owe Asgard a favor, don’t you think? Is it so hard to believe that I am capable of good deeds?”
“You have done very little to deserve my trust, brother, have you forgotten what all you’ve done?” Thor said, growing very impatient. “It takes time to build that trust back up, and your aversion to speaking with me is not pleading your case.”
Loki breathed heavily through his nose. “Have you forgotten what all I’ve done? I was the one who brought this cursed ship to Asgard,” he said. “I don’t need you.”
“Then why did you stay?” Thor said, exasperated.
It was then that he noticed a thin sheen of sweat glistening on Loki’s forehead. Loki didn't respond, his whole demeanor suddenly very different. He looked vaguely frightened, like he did the other night, staring out that window. He was gripping his side, gaze distant, and Thor felt a pang of fear.
“Loki?” he said, voice low.
“I’m–” Loki paused to swallow thickly, “I’m fine–”
Suddenly, his face drained of all remaining color, then he lurched to the side, away from Thor, and vomited all over his boots.
Thor’s heart dropped to his stomach, as he stared in shock at Loki, who was still hunched over, cradling his middle, a string of saliva dangling from his lip. He looked shocked, embarrassed, but more notably, in pain. Loki’s eyes flickered as he breathed heavily through his mouth. Thor knew what was about to happen seconds before it actually did, and yet he did not make an attempt to move.
Loki’s knees buckled, and he stumbled over to the right, looking for support in a desperate attempt to stay upright. Instead, he lost coordination and rammed his shoulder into the wall, then listed to the left, back towards the middle of the hallway, then, finally, his legs gave out completely and he collapsed forward unceremoniously onto the cold, hard floor, flat on his face.
Thor simply stood there in the dead silence, shocked despite himself, his heart racing. He dared to wait another moment before slowly crouching down to Loki’s prone figure, and poked him in the shoulder twice.
“Loki?” he said.
Loki did not respond, as expected. Honestly, Thor could not make sense of what just happened, or why, or what to do about it. Was Loki drunk? Probably not, seeing as he famously despised alcohol. Was he faking it for attention? Was this the beginning of his completely speculatory big plan, a distraction? Or, was he just sick and too stubborn to ask for help? That was a rational possibility, given the tight, enclosed quarters. Viruses spread like, well, viruses in spaces such as that, and in fact, there were multiple citizens sick in the medbay, the very same medbay that Valkyrie claimed to have seen Loki go in and out of on multiple occasions. Maybe he just caught something, then, and avoided Thor until it was too late because he was too proud to ask for help. Yes, that sounded right.
Loki gurgled wetly and groaned, interrupting Thor’s contemplation.
“Loki, are you alright?” Thor asked cautiously.
Again, Thor received no answer. He rocked back on his heels and thought for a moment, before placing a hesitant hand on Loki’s shoulder, rolling him over onto his back. Immediately, Thor’s heart lurched at the sight before him.
Loki’s face was still pale, almost ghostly white, and the bags under his eyes were considerably more dark than just a few moments ago, than before he fainted. If Thor wasn’t mistaken, he looked thinner too, the hollows of his cheekbones slightly more pronounced, and the bone of his shoulder was sharper under the leather where Thor placed his hand. He was wearing a glamor, and had been for quite some time, was the realization Thor angrily came to. Loki must’ve lost control of his magic when he collapsed.
Thor scanned his eyes over the rest of Loki’s body with haste, quickly noticing something that definitely wasn't there before. He felt a pang of horror deep in his chest.
Blood, dark crimson, unmistakeable, seeping through the leathers over Loki’s right side, just under his ribs.
“Shit!” Thor exclaimed aloud, immediately placing a firm hand over the bleeding area, not even thinking twice about it.
A small, resentful part of him was yelling that this was indeed just another one of Loki’s tricks, nothing but a ploy. Thor quickly pushed that thought down, because there was a certain aura to Loki when he was tricking someone, something Thor had picked up before, and it was absent there. Something only family could see, the smallest difference in his demeanor, but Thor had noticed no such thing. That was what his rational thinking said, but a softer, more stupid side of him trusted Loki wholly.
Blood was seeping through Thor’s fingers. He couldn't do this again, not after everything else he’d lost. He felt sick. Below him, Loki stirred slowly awake.
“Don’t move, you idiot,” Thor said hurriedly.
“Get your hands off me,” Loki hissed, trying to sit up, but he quickly abandoned the effort with a face drawn tight in pain.
“I said don’t move,” Thor insisted. “Who did this? When did it happen?”
“Doesn’t matter,” Loki said through gritted teeth.
“It matters when you’re bleeding out on the goddamn floor,” Thor said, frustrated. “When did this happen, Loki?”
“Why should I tell you?” Loki said.
“So I can help you, asshole,” Thor said, gesturing his irritation aloud with his free hand.
Loki heaved for breath for a few seconds. “Rainbow Bridge,” he said eventually. “One of Hela’s.”
“Shit,” Thor swore under his breath. “Why hasn’t it healed?”
Loki’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
“Can’t heal,” Loki said. “It’s– it’s the blade. Cursed, all of Hela’s are.”
Thor breathed deliberately through his nose, trying to calm himself down. “Damn you, Loki, why didn't you tell anyone?”
Loki failed to respond, his eyes drifting as he wheezed horribly through his open mouth. He was losing too much blood too quickly, the liquid pooling on the floor beneath the pair and soaking into Thor’s pants. His heart lurched with fear.
“Loki!” he said, patting his brother urgently on the cheek. “Hey, focus.”
Loki’s head lolled for a moment before his eyes settled back on Thor’s. “There were more important matters,” he mumbled tiredly. “As I said, not enough healers to go around.”
The fear in Thor’s chest was replaced by bubbling anger. “What is that supposed to mean?” he said. “Does your well being not matter, do you really believe that?”
“I’m not Asgardian!” Loki snapped, and to Thor’s horror, his eyes welled up with tears. “I’m not– I don’t–” he paused to gather his words, frustrated at his lack of ability to find them in the first place. “I shouldn’t even be here.”
“Don’t you dare,” Thor said, voice thick. “Don't– don’t do this to yourself. You don’t get to say that. Loki, you are my brother, and you have a home in Asgard, wherever it might be. You’re the only family I have left, and I will not let the past get in the way of that.”
“You’re a fool,” Loki wheezed. He wheezed again, breath rattling in his throat, panic gleaming in his eyes. A tear rolled down his temple. “I– I can’t– Thor–”
“You can. Breathe, Lokes.” Thor said gently, using the hand not currently pressed to Loki’s stab wound to cradle his head. “How can we heal you?”
Loki shut his eyes and gasped once, twice. “Not with magic,” he said. “I tried. The– the curse, it prevents healing spells from being used on any wound– any wound inflicted by the blade.” He lost focus for a second before regaining it, clearly fighting for it. “Get your friend. The one– one who transforms into the green beast. He is… knowledgeable enough.”
“Okay,” Thor said. “Okay.”
Thor looked down at the blood that continued to gush through his fingers, tacky, warm, nauseating. He gently slipped his other hand out from under Loki’s head to press it atop the wound as well. Loki’s head rolled to the side as his breathing suddenly became very labored.
“Loki!” Thor said, perhaps a bit too loudly, shaking his brother’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, look at me.”
Loki’s eyes wandered listlessly, but failed to meet Thor’s. His chest felt tight with panic.
“Brother, look at me,” Thor demanded again.
This time, Loki did, though his eyes were glassy. He worked his throat for a minute before rasping, “Why’re you still here?”
“Shut up,” Thor said. “I’m– I can’t leave you here.”
“I told you…” Loki trailed off.
“Banner, yes, I know,” Thor said, “but I can’t leave you.”
Loki whispered something unintelligible, and when Thor gave him nothing but a confused look, he huffed and slowly raised his arm, as if it was taking all his might to, and pointed a finger towards something down the hall. Thor quickly turned and looked at whatever piqued Loki’s interest, and almost melted in relief at the sight of Valkyrie, squinting at him and looking very confused.
“Thor?” she yelled down the passageway. “What’s going on? I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”
Valkyrie walked hurriedly down the hall towards Thor, either unaware of who he was crouched by, or unaware of a second person entirely. Part of Thor wanted her to stay right where she was, but another, larger part of him was relieved by her presence.
“There’s been a slight change in course. Who is that on the– oh, shit,” she stopped dead in her tracks, paling a little as she glanced at Loki on the floor, then back to Thor. “Shit, is he…”
“He’s an idiot is what he is,” Thor said. “Valkyrie, listen, I need you to get Banner. Quickly. He’s not dead, but he’s dying.”
“What– when did this happen?” Valkyrie said, torn between sympathy and nonchalance.
“During the battle,” Thor said.
“On the Rainbow Bridge? But– that was nearly a week ago,” she said. “Are you saying–”
“Yes, I know. Like I said, he’s an idiot,” Thor said quickly, and when Valkyrie continued to stare, perturbed, down at Loki, he huffed a sigh of anxious frustration. “Val, Focus. Banner.”
“Right, just– Norns, Thor. Um, stay here with him, and I’ll be– I’ll be right back,” Valkyrie said, looking Thor sadly in the eyes before turning around and sprinting back down the hall where she came from.
The hallway grew silent once more, spare for Loki’s harsh breathing. The sound of it made Thor feel ill. Loki whined thinly, gripping Thor’s forearm weakly, his eyes half–lidded but still filled with a kind of fear that Thor never wanted to see on him again. It broke his heart right in two.
“She…” Loki mumbled exhaustedly, his voice hoarse and quiet.
“She’s going to get Banner,” Thor said confidently. “Hang in there for me, okay?”
“You…” Loki paused to gasp, his eyes drifting out of focus. “You…” He wheezed again, eyelids fluttering shut as his chest hitched frighteningly.
His grip on Thor’s forearm went slack. He looked entirely too fragile, like the wrong move could shatter him at any moment. With his face relaxed, he looked about 300 years younger, too. Thor felt like he might faint, icy fear yanking his heart, his head rushing. He shook Loki’s shoulder, a bit vigorously this time, but he was desperate. No response.
“No, no, no,” Thor said. “Don’t do this to me, Lokes.”
Thor’s eyes burned with tears. Loki remained unresponsive. He would not cry.
“Damn it!” Thor said, rubbing Loki’s chest, trying anything to wake his brother up. “You can’t do this to me!”
Thor stilled for a moment, though he still trembled, to hover his hand above Loki’s parted lips. A few seconds passed by, then he felt hot breath brush the skin of his knuckles. He was still breathing, Gods despite it all, he was still breathing.
“Wake up, Loki,” Thor whispered. “I will not let you do this. I will not–”
“Thor!” a familiar voice interrupted him from down the hall.
“Banner!” Thor could’ve sobbed from relief, whipping his head around to gesture his friend over.
Bruce was with Valkyrie, who was dragging a cart full of medical equipment behind her. Bruce looked determined, but behind that, Thor could sense his concern. Two more figures turned the corner behind them, healers, Thor realized numbly. Bruce and Valkyrie came to a stop in front of Loki, and Bruce immediately began rummaging through the contents of the cart.
“You said he was stabbed?” Bruce said.
“Yes,” Thor said, “on the Rainbow Bridge.”
Bruce pulled a pair of scissors out from the cart, then hastily began cutting away at Loki’s leather tunic, then once that was removed, his undershirt. It took a few minutes before all the fabric was discarded, leaving Loki bare from the waist up and looking very vulnerable. Thor had to consciously keep himself from reacting at the sight of Loki’s grim stab wound, still gushing blood. Meanwhile, Bruce was studying it very intently.
“He tried to stitch it himself?” he asked.
Thor shook his head. “I assume so. I’m going to kill him if this doesn’t.”
Banner looked at him apprehensively. “I’ll do what I can, but, Thor…” he said nervously, “I’m just… I’ll– I’ll do what I can.”
Thor nodded with distant acknowledgement and pressed his lips into a thin line. He glanced down at his shaking hands, noting that they were still covered in Loki’s blood.
“Jill, I need pressure,” Bruce said to one of the healers, steadfast. “Lucy, check his breathing. Get the oxygen.”
The two healers did as commanded, scrambling to their respective tasks. To have the responsibility of saving the life of Asgardian royalty must’ve been a daunting burden, so Thor did not blame them for being nervous. Lucy pulled a silver elongated tank out of the cart, and attached to it, was a clear mask with a thick rubber rim. She pressed her ear against Loki’s chest for about a minute, then fitted the mask over Loki’s nose and mouth. Meanwhile, Jill was pressing her gloved hands firmly over Loki’s injured side.
Thor stood from his knees and began pacing off to the side. Valkyrie stepped over and tried to lean casually on the wall, but it was clear that she was tense.
“He’ll be alright,” she said with false confidence. “He’s bounced back from worse, I’m sure he can do it again.”
This is different, Thor thought. He doesn't have his magic this time.
“Thanks,” he said.
Thor turned his head back to Bruce as he gave more directions to the healers.
“Lucy, start an IV for me,” he said, then turned his head towards Thor. “Thor, do you know his blood type? It’ll be an English letter then either positive or negative.”
“Uh, sure, I think it was an A, then a B, then the little plus sign,” Thor said. “AB Positive.”
Bruce pulled a walkie–talkie off his belt, pressed a button, then spoke into it. “Anna, we need two bags of AB positive in wing A–thirteen,” he said. “Prepare a bed, we have a code, um, prince of Asgard bleeding out on the floor. Just– just hurry. Please.”
Thor turned his attention to Lucy, who was prodding around Loki’s bare arm, the poor girl looking stressed. Now that Loki was halfway bare, Thor could take into account just how skinny he was. It was frightening, how his ribs poked out, and how thin his once well–toned arms were. He also noticed a smattering of dark purple and yellow bruises, dotted along his chest and arms. Amongst the paralyzing fear, Thor still held on to anger.
It appeared that Lucy finally found a vein to stick the needle into, and that’s when Thor had to stop watching. Instead, he focused on the rise and fall of Loki’s chest, though it was labored and uneven.
“IV in,” Lucy said.
“Okay,” Banner breathed, “okay.” He fumbled for his walkie talkie. “Anna, where are you?”
“We’re close, just around the corner,” came her voice through the small device. Thor had to listen intently just to catch her words.
“Copy,” Bruce said.
He put the walkie–talkie back on his belt, then wrung his hands and sat back on his heels, studying the scene before him, before turning to Thor. “He threw up?”
Thor didn’t respond, hardly even noticed that he was being spoken to, his gaze hard and focused on his brother and the two healers swarming him.
“Thor?” Bruce said.
Thor shook his head, processing Banner’s words. “Ah, yes sorry,” he said. “He did, right before he fainted.”
“That’s probably what pulled the stitches…” Bruce thought aloud. “You said he fainted? Has he been unconscious since?”
“No, he woke up for a little bit, but he, um… he was talking to me, but then he went downhill pretty quickly,” Thor said.
“And he didn’t mention anything about, y’know,” Bruce said, “getting stabbed, before this?”
Thor hummed lowly. “He kept it to himself, the fool.”
Bruce chewed his lip. “He’s lucky it’s not infected,” he said. “Very lucky. Why didn’t he use his magic? I’ve seen him use it before, is it, like, forbidden for him to use it on himself?”
“It’s, erm, a long story. Something about a curse.” Thor said.
“Oh,” Bruce said, nodding distractedly. “That makes sense, I guess.”
The pair turned their heads at the sudden, but unmistakable sound of squeaky wheels on tile. They watched as a hospital bed turned the corner, and wheeling it was the healer who must’ve been Anna. She made her way down the hall determinedly, and stopped to quickly set up the bed once she reached the small group. On the bed was an orange backboard and a white styrofoam cooler with the biohazard symbol plastered on it.
Anna placed the cooler off to the side, and set the backboard on the ground next to Loki, then she and Lucy wordlessly maneuvered the board under him while Jill continued to apply pressure.
“On three,” she said, and glanced at the two other healers.
She counted to three, then the three of them lifted the board, with Loki atop it, onto the medical bed. Lucy took the top of the cooler and retrieved a bag filled with maroon blood, then hung it on the designated hook rising from the headboard. She unfurled the long cord attached to it, then conjoined the end of it to the end of Loki’s IV.
There was an anxious queasiness settling into Thor’s gut, but once again, he ignored the feeling for the sake of being present for his brother.
He watched as Bruce pulled a small machine shaped like a box out of the cart, then placed it on the bed between Loki’s feet. He then began placing small colorful pads to seemingly random locations among Loki’s chest and stomach, and started attaching cords to them. He plugged all the cords into the small box, then the machine came to life with a beep, then two, then three. A heart monitor of some kind, Thor realized dumbly after the seventh or so beep.
Loki’s pulse was far too quick, was the conclusion that Thor came to after a minute had passed. Bruce seemed to come to the same conclusion, as he stared at the box with a concerned look on his face, then met Thor’s eyes with that same expression.
Bruce breathed inwards deeply and clapped his hands once. “Alright, he’s set for transport, let’s move out,” he announced to his small team of medical staff.
Bruce glanced at Thor again, but this time he looked hopeful. Together, the four of them wheeled the bed down the hall hastily, leaving Thor and Valkyrie standing there with a newfound, unsettling quiet. Thor watched as they turned the corner and disappeared out of sight. Now that Thor could turn his attention to himself, he noticed that his mind felt fuzzy and distant. As much as he wanted to follow Loki down the hall, he knew that his presence would only get in the way,
“He’ll be alright,” Valkyrie said for the third time that morning, but still she couldn’t hide her uncertainty. She patted Thor on the back. “Really, he will.”
Thor didn’t know whether to believe her or not. His mind was telling him not to. He was still shaking. He couldn’t do this again.
“Thor?” Valkyrie said. “Let’s sit down, buddy.”
Thor sat down on the floor slowly. He then began crying.
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It had been four hours. Four hours, since Loki was wheeled in for surgery. Four hours, since Thor numbly sat down in one of the makeshift waiting room chairs outside medical, and hadn’t moved since. He only idly bounced his leg and stared expressionless at the wall, paying no mind to the gossipers and sympathizers who occasionally tried to talk to him. He didn’t even speak a word to Valkyrie.
It had been four hours and seventeen minutes when the door to medical slid open, and, finally, out stepped Banner, looking exhausted. Thor slowly turned his head to face him.
“He’s in the recovery wing. He’s, uh, he’s alright,” Bruce said with a grin. “We’re taking him off the anesthesia now, he should be waking up soon.”
Thor let out the sigh that he’d been holding in for the last few hours. “The surgery was successful?”
Bruce ran his fingers through his hair and chuckled. “Yeah. It was, um… it was a close one, that’s for sure. He got very lucky, Thor.”
“Thank you, Banner,” Thor said. “Can I see him?”
“Yes,” Bruce said, “but just to warn you, he might be a little… loopy, from the drugs.”
“Noted,” Thor said.
Bruce tapped a button that slid the door to medical back open and waved Thor inside. Immediately upon entering was the recovery wing, a fairly tiny room for its intended purpose. Lined up on the walls were beds, separated by shabby makeshift curtains. Thor spotted Loki in an instant. His bed was on the left side of the room, the second one from the backmost wall. Thor followed Banner over as he shooed away the pair of nurses attending to Loki.
Loki’s eyes were open, but he still didn’t appear quite awake yet. He was still shirtless, and the IV sticking out of his arm was now feeding him a clear fluid instead of blood. The EKG leads remained attached to his chest, which Thor assumed must be very annoying. A pristine white bandage was wrapped around his upper stomach, a thicker part of it covering where his wound was. Thor quickly shoved down the memory of it.
“Um, hey, Loki,” Bruce said nervously. “It’s Bruce, I have Thor here with me. He wants to see you.”
Loki turned his head towards the pair and worked his throat, trying to speak, but all that came out was a croak. He swallowed once then tried again. “Go away.”
“Not happening,” Thor said.
Loki blinked slowly up at him with a slightly puzzled face. “Okay, fine. Can I at least have some water?”
“Water, yes,” Bruce said. “Can you sit up? I’ll– I’ll help you.”
Loki nodded hesitantly. Bruce, too, hesitated for a moment before skirting around to the back of the bed and fiddling with something behind it. Thor attended to Loki, whose face was held tight in discomfort, helping him sit up, while Bruce adjusted the bed into a sitting position. Once he was done, Loki sagged back into the bed with a small, definitely unintentional, pained noise.
Bruce fetched a small, white cup from the foldable metal table by Loki’s bed, and offered it to him with an expectant look on his face. Loki slowly raised his arm and tried to take the cup, but his coordination seemed to be lacking, because he missed twice. Thor took the cup from Banner.
“That’s probably not a good idea,” he said.
Instead, Thor raised the cup to Loki’s lips, but he quickly turned his head with a grimace on his face.
“It’s water,” Thor said. “You said you wanted it.”
Loki’s brow was still furrowed in confusion, but after a few seconds, he seemed to finally realize what was going on. He placed his unsteady hand atop Thor’s, and guided the cup to his mouth, then he took a slow sip. Some of the water dribbled down his chin, but he didn’t seem to care. After maybe three sips, he pushed the cup away.
“Why’re you still here?” Loki asked, his voice a little clearer, but still slurred.
“Because I wanted to see you,” Thor said.
Loki scrunched up his face. “Why?”
“Because you are my brother, and I care about you,” Thor said, matter-of-factly.
“You’re lying to me,” Loki said. “Stop it.”
Thor glared at Loki, frustrated. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Curse his stubbornness, curse his patience. Loki hardly deserved it.
“You almost died, Loki. I was scared. You didn’t speak to me for a week, and when you finally did, you almost…” Thor let himself trail off, fearing that his voice would give away his more private emotions.
Loki sat in silence for a while, trying to process Thor’s words. He looked down at his lap, brows knitted together in contemplation. When he looked back up at Thor, he looked even more confused.
“You care about me?” he said.
Thor could strangle him. “Yes, Loki, for Helheim’s sake, yes.”
“Oh,” Loki said, his face smoothing out.
Then, his expression crumbled, and Thor watched awkwardly as he began crying silently, tears rolling down his cheeks. He pressed his fingers to his face, and studied them, suddenly looking bewildered as to why he was even crying.
“When can I go back to Asgard?” Loki asked, heartbreakingly childish.
Thor pressed his lips together. “Uh,” he said, “soon. Soon.”
Loki nodded distantly and closed his eyes. For a minute, Thor thought he had fallen back asleep, but then he spoke up once more.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Thor had to take a second to recover from the uncharacteristic apology before replying. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s– it’s okay.”
It wasn't, but they could have that conversation when Loki was more coherent. Speaking of which, Loki’s face was held in a wince, and he was doing a very poor job at hiding it.
“Are you in pain?” Thor asked.
“No,” Loki replied immediately.
Thor stared down at him disapprovingly. “Loki.”
“Fine, yes,” Loki said.
“Alright,” Thor said, turning to where Bruce once was, but finding that he must’ve left during their conversation. “I’ll go get Banner. You stay right here.”
Loki nodded. “I’m not sure I have much of a choice,” he said tiredly.
Thor patted Loki on the arm and offered a sympathetic smile, even as he glared at him while doing so.
It didn't take Thor long to find Bruce, as he had only traveled to the other side of the room to speak with a nurse.
“Banner,” Thor greeted with a nod. “Hey, quick question, you wouldn’t happen to have anything for Loki’s pain, would you?”
Banner shrugged. “I mean, I can give him some Tylenol, but unfortunately morphine isn’t a common resource in, well, outer space. We forgot to put that one on the packing list.”
“Ah,” Thor said, “I see.”
Bruce shuffled around in his pocket before producing a small plastic bag filled with tiny round pills.
“I take them for my headaches, but I’d be happy to share,” he said, pulling a couple out of the bag and dropping them in Thor’s palm.
“Much appreciated,” Thor said with a smile.
Bruce grinned back, and awkwardly reached an arm out to pat Thor on the shoulder, but then decided against it.
“No problem,” he said, then shuffled awkwardly as Thor didn’t respond, lost in his own mind. He reached his hand back out and waved it in front of Thor’s face. “Hey, big guy, he’ll be alright.”
Thor nodded slowly at him. He’ll be alright. Those damned words, but this time, Thor believed them. Bruce nodded back and turned back around to resume his conversation with the nurse. Thor looked down at his fist and closed it around the three red pills. He’ll be alright.
He looked around the room, at the activity, the life shimmering in the air, and made his way back to Loki’s bed. However, upon reaching it, he found that Loki had fallen back asleep, his mouth parted slightly as he snored. Thor chuckled to himself at the sight, and stood there, soaking in the peaceful moment. He placed the pills on the bedside table, then quietly scooted the foldable metal chair that was by the table to the side of Loki’s bed. It squeaked as he sat in it, a reminder that what they had was fragile, and that it was a miracle anything even survived Ragnarok. It was a miracle in motion, the rise and fall of Loki’s chest. Thor watched as he breathed, slowly, evenly this time.
At some point during the evening, Valkyrie walked it, glanced around the scene, at Thor by Loki’s bed, and smiled at him knowingly, before walking right back out. Banner did the same, but he was a little more quiet about it.
Thor decided that his kingly duties could wait, at least until Loki woke back up. Until then, he sat in the moment, in the assurance that Loki would stay, and that for a little while longer, Thor would have his brother by his side.
For a little while longer, they were alright.