Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Leaning back in to the deep cushions of his couch Brad shifted his arm, his hand growing tired from holding the phone up for so long. Candace had been on the phone for nearly two hours now, moving between loud sobs and desperate questions about why her boyfriend had dumped her. They were both still kids at fifteen years old, it wasn’t his younger sisters first breakup or his first rodeo. Whenever this happened, despite having a group of friends that were probably more well equipped to deal with this then he was, she always called him.

Sitting on his bench was the ingredients for dinner, his intention to cook a pasta dish his workmate had shared with him, long past there use. The dish took more then an hour, and he had been on the phone too long to still cook it. It had occurred to him as the time ticked passed 8.30pm that he was going to have to rely on food delivery now. He had ordered it while consoling Candace, again, and he had just gotten a notification that the dasher had picked up his order and was on the way.

‘Look Candy,’ he broke in during a pause of tears, ‘maybe he wasn’t your knight in shining armour and the real one is still out there. You’re still in high school and there’s plenty of life ahead of you, didn’t you tell me last week you were thinking of taking a gap year to go backpacking?’ There was a tiny hum in response to his question, maybe he was finally getting to her.

Switching his phone to his other hand he pushed on.

‘Well you don’t know what could happen while you’re out there. Maybe prince charming is some guy from Australia, offering you a beer on some beach in the middle of nowhere.’ This time he got a laugh from Candy.
‘Doesn’t Australia have some guy in the outback who kills people?’ Candace sounded less teary and depressed now.

Brad was relieved they’d finally moved past the tears and questions about what she had done wrong.
Brad laughed as well. ‘You’re thinking of that brutal movie, Wolf Creek. Which wasn’t a real guy.’

‘Thanks Brad, I hate that you don’t live in town anymore, Virginia is so far away.’ Brad could hear the pout through the phone, and knew well enough what it looked like. His little sister had been using that pout her whole life to get what she wanted.

Brad’s phone dinged and he looked down at the notification, his dasher was nearby. Standing up for the first time in an hour Brad moved towards his door, he would have to buzz his driver in when they got here. ‘Hey sorry to cut this short kiddo but I really need to go, I’ll call you tomorrow after work okay?’

There was a dramatic sigh on the other end of the line before his sister said thank you for his help and goodbye, telling him he should come home for the weekend because everyone would love to see him.

Just as he promised Candace that he would try to, if work gave him the time off to come up, his bell rang. He pressed the speaker and let the guy know to come up to the seventh floor and which number was his door.

‘Not all of us have the cruisy life of school anymore Candy, I can’t just take off on the weekends anymore, im an adult who has a job and a bills to pay. “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.’ Just as he hung up the phone there was a knock at his door.
After opening the door, Brad wished he could just go home one more time, see his family one last time. Brad didn’t know whether he had told Candance he loved her when he ended the call. He would give anything to have one more phone call about a breakup. Looking up at the man above him, he felt the itchy trail of blood running around his body as it pooled beneath him. It was cold, and he was tired. Brad didn’t know how much time had passed, he regretted complaining about the length of his phone call with Candy.

‘Why are you doing this?’ Brad asked, voice hoarse and strained.

There was no response, only the warmth of his own blood dripping down the back of his throat as a boot came down on his face.

Chapter Text

It had been early, for the others at least, when their phones dinged with text message that they were expected at the office ASAP. Reid scrunched up his face as he used his knuckles to rub the grit and exhaustion from his eyes. When the nightmare had woken him at three in the morning he had then spent another hour attempting to get back to sleep only to give up. There was already a pot off coffee, extra strong and a little sweetened that had been half drained. Spencer was tired, the caffeine was more a commodity then a functional use, he liked the taste and it was hot.

Waking up from nightmares left him cold, clammy and shaking. Wrapping colourless fingers around a hot mug was a warm reprieve. He’d had a shower around five thirty, viciously scrubbing his skin clean under steaming hot water, his normally milky skin a beet red. It wasn’t a healthy strategy but it was warm and he needed to be clean. Now he could be at the office early, he had dressed for the day after his shower before planting himself on the sofa with a book or two. Sometimes he even slowed down his reading, took it a base level to extend whatever he was reading.

Unfolding himself from his cramped position under the light, he bookmarked his book and wandered back to the kitchen for one last hot drink. There was already a go bag in his locker at the BAU, he didn’t need to pack more then his canvas bag, he glanced at the small journal on his coffee table. Sporadically, Spencer had been jotting down his dreams and his visceral responses to them. So far it hadn’t been helping, but there was a lot of support towards it on the internet. Normally he stayed offline unless for a case or he needed an answer to something he didn’t already know, but he had been curious and desperate to find a way to handle the nightmares on his own. Spencer did not want to see a therapist of any sort.

Shaking his head, he left the journal where it was and moved out of the door. Being so early in the morning meant he didn’t have to share the staircase with anyone, there had been a few times he regretted that he lived in a building with no elevator but he had fallen for his apartment and he had quickly made it his own.

Unfortunately being a little before seven, the tube wasn’t as empty as his stairwell had been. Spencer squished himself in to a corner, protecting his body from anyone who could stand near or pressed against him. While it was mainly a crowd of workers just like him, there was always two or three per carriage that went looking for trouble. Spencer was just bone tired, his body ached and now of all times his body was starting to ask him for more sleep.

It had been a growing problem, Spencer knew when he was younger he had suffered from insomnia, his brain just too busy and fast to shut down properly. But that had been before he had seen the worst that life has to offer, before his dance with drugs and addiction and the numerous injuries and losses that he had faced. Because of the addiction history all he had was melatonin, which worked some nights and was useless on others. Spence knew he needed better sleep hygiene, but none of that stopped the nightmares.

They were never work related, or at least not always. His brain was just always turning and churning out new scenarios that would wake him from a dead sleep, heaving over the side of his bed in to a bowl he had taken to leaving there. Spence wasn’t dumb, he knew it likely revolved around trauma but he was terrified of having any diagnosis that was related to mental illness. As much as he accepted his mother and who she was he just couldn’t accept the possibility that he might be the same.

Punching in his code to gain entrance to the BAU Reid stalked towards the office area, likely strides ahead of his coworkers. It was a little shock then when he saw Garcia and Hotch having a conversation in Hotch’s doorway. Moving towards his desk, Reid put his bag down and pulled out some files he had been planning on working on today if they didn’t have a case. But Garcia was clutching several folders and Hotch had a tired look of intention on his face.
Sitting down Spence tried to act like he wasn’t watching them both as he turned on his computer to check his work emails. It was highly unlikely the others would be here within the next half an hour, so Hotch wouldn’t share what they were working on until then when they were all seated around the round table and watching as Penelope clicked through the days horrors.

Pulling up his emails Reid blankly scrolled through them all, until a subject matter caught his eye. Clicking on the title he furrowed his brow, attention drawn away from Hotch and Garcia for a moment.

WILL YOU CATCH ME DOCTOR

Dear doctor spencer reid,
I will keep killing until I get your attention. You cannot protech thm.
Will you profyle me? Tell me u lyke my work. Ive incld a few fotos for u.
Furrowing his brow Reid didn’t know what to make of the email, there were attatchments but he was unsure about whether they were safe to open which meant he would have to involve Garcia and probably Hotch. Their work emails were also not advertised to the public, they were specifically kept for within the office and purely for work related tasks.
Looking up from his screen Spence was glad Hotch and Penelope were still talking, so he called out to them. ‘Hey, guys I think I might have something here.’ Hotch’s frown became more refined as he looked over. Penelope moved towards the railing and asked him what he had.

‘Uh, there’s an email here that I kind of want to think is spam but honestly I’m not too sure, it has attatchments but I don’t know whether I should click on them.’ This brought Garcia down to him, as she moved as quickly as he pink pumps allowed, there was matching eyeliner and beaded necklaces around her neck and wrists. She bent over his shoulder with a hum. ‘Is it safe to click on them?’

Reid may be the boy genius but Garcia was the girl genius and she lorded over anything and everything tech and code, stuff that usually went over his head without her being there to guide him through it. ‘Scootch over and let me in.’ Reid stood up instead, giving her the chair and moving behind her to watch the screen. Hotch joined him a moment later, mumbling the words as he read them.

Garcia worked for less then five minutes before deeming the attachments safe, she hovered the mouse over them to click open before Hotch put a hand on his shoulder. ‘We don’t know what we are dealing with here, maybe me and Reid should have a look at them first.’ Garcia looked up at him, mouth opening a little as her eyes crinkled. Hotch was always on the look out for everyone else, it was something Reid really respected about the man.

After re-claiming his seat while Penelope turned her back and Hotch leaned over his shoulder, Reid clicked the links and rapidly several photos opened on his screen. For a moment he wasn’t sure what he was looking at, the photos were poorly taken and executed but it didn’t take him too long to work out what was a pant covered leg and a collarbone. The photos looked like a poorly done art show until he zoomed in on some of them and saw the injuries closer up, the blood he had thought was a dark rug and the obvious break in the collarbone and a whisper of bruising along the neck above it.

Abruptly Hotch straightened up, placing a hand on Garcia’s shoulder. ‘I need you to try and trace that email, and find out if its possible to trace a location from the photos.’ Garcia nodded before hurrying off, sensing the urgency. Spence looked up at him, waiting for what Hotch wanted him to do. When he turned back to him, his jaw clenched to the point it was defining his jaw line handsomely. ‘This is related to the case we’ve just been called in on, these photos are of a victim who was killed three days ago. It’s unknown whether we are working with a spree killer or a serial killer who has a very short cooling down period.’

‘How did they get my work email though?’ Reid asked, confused and perplexed. His online presence was near miniscule, if the BAU didn’t enforce that he had to have an email in the first place he wouldn’t have one. People who worked on cases with them got his mobile phone number, his answering machine didn’t mention it either. None of his cards contained the addressed. ‘The only people who have this email Hotch are people in this building.’

Hotch put a hand on his shoulder, firm and warm, a grounding touch he didn’t know he needed. ‘I’ll have Garcia look in to it, there has to be some type of reason surrounding this.’

Reid swallowed thickly. ‘How many people has he killed trying to get my attention?’ Hotch’s frown increased, it looked like he was thinking about what answer to give him. ‘The truth Hotch, I don’t need to be protected.’

Drawing in a resigned breath, hand still on Reid’s shoulder he responded. ‘Five, the latest victim was found overnight after several noise complaints were made.’ Reid didn’t know how to absorb that, five people had been killed so he would pay attention to someone. ‘It’s not your fault Spence, if it hadn’t been you it would have been for someone else, you know that.’

Nodding blankly, Reid just sat there with tension running through his muscles and tendons. He repeated Hotch’s words over and over after the older man had left him there to regroup on his own. That was five people he could never bring back no matter how smart he was. It stung and burned behind his eyes.

Chapter Text

3.
Before long the rest of the team were assembled around the table in different states of alertness, there were a few mugs of coffee and different degrees of grumbling about being at work before nine am when they were supposed to be on basic duties today. Meaning they were grounded in the office to catch up on paperwork and catch up on their work load. Rossi was lamenting his loss of a decent sleep in for the first time in three weeks, while Emily looked like she regretted her decisions the night prior.

When Hotch walked in with Garcia though they all went quiet and sat up a little straighter, showing him they were ready regardless of what was happening in their personal lives. Reid loved this about his friends, the way they were able to slide in to work mode and put their own feelings aside. If it wasn’t for them, his family, he probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now and he really did love them for that.

‘I’m sorry you have all had to come in this early on such short notice,’ Hotch started as Garcia moved around the table and doled out files ‘but I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t need to.’ Everyone just nodded and muttered their assent. ‘I am not sure if any of you are aware, or follow local news and incidents however there have been a slew of murders thought to be connected to each other within the area.’ Everyone was flipping through their files now, and Reid wanted to open his too but the email had made it personal and he didn’t want to see what this man had done to get his attention.

‘We received relevant information this morning when Spencer came in to work and checked his emails, there was one there that caught his attention. Once it had been cleared we opened the attachments to find photos of one of the victims.’ Morgan and JJ’s heads looked up at Spencer’s mention, looking over at him with worry in their eyes. ‘It appears whoever has been doing this, has been doing it in order to gain Spencer’s attention.’

Wishing he could sink under the table Spencer bit the bullet to allay the attention on him and flicked open the file. It was about as bad as he had been expecting it to be. Gruesome was one of the first words that came to mind for him, macabre. Each victim shared an array of different injuries to a varying extent, they weren’t identical but the similarity was there.

‘Are we sure this is linked to Spence?’ JJ asked, glancing between the hard lines of Hotch’s face and the softer ones of Reid’s. ‘Has anyone else checker their work email to see if they have one?’ Hotch shook his head. ‘How did they even get his email address, Spence is so paranoid he doesn’t even have social media.’

Opening up her laptop, Garcia’s fingers flew across the keys as she looked at her own email for anything suspicious before launching a department wide search. It wasn’t long before she had her answers, nobody else had received an email that matched her criteria. ‘Nope, nada.’ She announced, giving Reid another sympathetic look, he had been getting a lot of those today since coming in to work.

Drawing their attention back to the case at hand, Hotch directed Garcia back to the large screen on the wall. ‘There are five victims, all male between the age of twenty-three to thirty years old. Single, live alone, primarily in apartment buildings. Ther first thing that linked the cases was that each man had a meal laid out on their benches, like they had been interrupted before eating. All meals were takeaway,’ Hotch had Garcia skip through a row of different photos of takeout containers and half served meals on plates ‘according to a search in to their bank accounts the meals were all ordered on a delivery app such as Doordash and Ubereats.’

‘So we think he’s getting in to their apartments after delivering their meals?’ Emily asked, as Garcia continued to flick through a few more photos of the apartment.

Rossi shook his head. ‘The meals are in the process of being plated, if it was the delivery guy they wouldn’t have a chance to get that far. Could it be someone has followed the driver in to the apartment block?’

‘What if the delivery driver is hanging around in the apartment building before coming back?’ JJ asked, flipping through the images from the file. ‘He hands over the food, leaves and waits around for a little while and then makes his move?’
‘Do any of the buildings have surveillance cameras?’ Reid scratched at his thigh under the table, feeling sick over the thought that this was done for him and unable to shake the guilt. He wanted to end this case quickly, before anyone else got hurt. Maybe now that they were on the case he would stop, hand himself in to meet him. ‘Has anyone actually verified whether the killer comes and goes?’

Everyone flipped through their file, the photos and the reports from the police. There was nothing mentioned about video footage, they would have to look in to that on their own to confirm whether he went in and out.

‘We are looking at someone volatile, but not so much that he isn’t able to pass in and out without being noticed. There’s a possibility that he may be stalking these men leading up their deaths, or having outside access to their apartments to know they live alone. The injuries on these victims show he lacks proper control, he may get caught up in the moment.’ Hotch talked as Garcia flashed photos of the victims post mortem, showing the brutality of them. ‘He is able to subdue the victims, a lot of these injuries are knife injuries so he needs to be up close and personal. A lot of the victims display signs of defence.’

Photos of the victims arms and hands came across the screen, there were numerous deep lacerations on their forearms and hands. One of the men was even missing one finger while another was partially amputated, the cuts surpassed the fatty layer of tissue, some down to fascia on the thinner men. The guilt was eating Reid alive and his skin was crawling, the effects of his nightmare, insomnia and now this were making him feel clammy and nauseous.

Hotch and Garcia sat down, the tv resting on profile pictures of the victims with names and numbers under them. Reid hated that these men had been reduced to nothing but a serial number now, their lives snuffed out because he didn’t spend the time checking his work emails as diligently as he should have.

‘The local police have asked for us to step in and investigate this, they’ve hit a brick wall and they are worried about more victims. We need to move quickly on this, there is a dangerously small window between his cooling off periods.’ Hotch levelled them with a stern stare. ‘The faster we can develop a profile the better, but I don’t want fast work done poorly.’

‘What about Reid?’ It was JJ, giving him a concerned look before casting that same gaze on Hotch. ‘Is he in danger?’
Hotch shook his head. ‘No I don’t think so, I think we need to put Reid at the front of this and let this man know that we are listening and he’s gotten what he wanted.’ Reid hated the thought of that, he avoided being at the forefront and never stood in front of the cameras it wasn’t his thing. He was too awkward and gangly for that.
Everyone nodded, closing their files and standing up. They all had a job to do now.

Chapter Text

4.
Flashing their badges at the entrance to the apartment complex, Morgan let Reid enter first before stepping up beside him. It had been clear in the conference room that Spencer was taking this personally, his silence on the car ride over had been an indication that his brain was stewing over this. Normally he was chatty and hard to shut up., which Morgan didn’t always mind but the one time he wanted the conversation there was none. Spencer hadn’t given him more then a few hums and headshakes.

As they stepped in to the elevator Morgan decided to break the silence and lighten the mood a little, they both needed it. ‘I promise there won’t be any jumping, at least this thing looks safer.’ All he got was a short laugh in response, far less than he was expecting. This was going to need more intense needling, and what better time then being in an elevator.

‘Look, Reid, you can’t blame yourself for this.’ Spencer’s shoulders dropped as he kept his face averted. ‘The only person who is to blame here is the scum whose looking for a reason to blame anyone else but themselves.’ The elevator clunked as they hit the right floor, Spencer was still avoiding his gaze and moved to step out when the doors opened but Morgan put his arm out to block him.

‘Please don’t do this.’ Reid whispered, finally looking up at him with those patented puppy dog eyes that melted JJ and Garcia but he wasn’t going to fall for this.

Throwing a hand out to keep the doors open, Morgan stepped in front of Reid this time and following his gaze. ‘Don’t keep this inside, talk to me or to Hotch. Anyone. Just don’t keep it all locked up in that busy brain of yours, you aren’t alone in this okay?’ Reid nodded, a small smile all Morgan got in return but he would take it for what it was, a truce that they were all in this together.

The hallway between the rows of doors was crowded with law enforcement, people moving in and out of the room towards the end of the corridor. It was a mixture of crime scene techs and police, when they walked in to the apartment the coroner was still there taking photos of the body between the kitchen and the lounge room. Nothing had been moved or changed in lieu of them arriving, just so they would get a good grasp of what could have happened here.
First thing he noticed was the cloying tang of blood mingled with the greasy scent of Chinese food, still laid out on the bench stagnant and coagulated on the china plate. Spencer stepped around the body and moved straight to the kitchen, gazing around the leftover food. Morgan moved towards the body, agreeing with Hotch that their guy was escalating in terms of violence. Even if this guy had been alive when he left, he would have bled out rapidly.

This was frenzied, the amount of slashes and stab wounds proved Brad had no chance despite the evidence of defensive wounds. The slashes weren’t superficial, some of the lacerations on his arm went to muscle and fascia, cutting through the fatty layer completely. One of his fingers were missing, another almost sharing the same fate saved only by a portion of skin and tendon. These were wounds that would have bled heavily and been painful, he wondered if Brad had tried to grab the blade and disarm his attacker.

Squatting down on his feet Derek used a pen to lift the tattered t-shirt across his chest, drenched with clotted blood he couldn’t get a close look at the stab wounds. They were three centimetres in length, meaning a large knife had been used. Brad didn’t stand a chance coming out of this, he would have been disabled with the first thrust to his chest or abdomen. Until he had gone through an autopsy they wouldn’t know the full extent of the injuries.

Standing up Morgan looked over to Reid who was still in the kitchen, he had blue latex gloves on now as he opened and closed cupboards and the pantry before moving to the fridge. Derek stepped over the blood pooled on the carpet and headed towards Spencer, bent over inside the fridge and reading a use by date. ‘What have you got?’

‘There is fresh food in here, and on the bench along with a printed off email containing a recipe that matches with what is in here and on the bench.’ Spencer straightened up and showed Morgan the recipe which did match up with everything Reid had pointed out. ‘For all intents and purposes he should have made his dinner but something must have come up. Whoever did this hadn’t planned to do it, this was a crime of opportunity.’

That was a bold statement, especially this early on in the investigation and only one crime scene available to them. Taking some of his own photos on his phone Morgan moved past Reid and headed for the bedroom at the back of the apartment, Spencer following behind him. They both stood there for a moment, studying the bland room. Absolutely nothing stood out or caught their attention, there was no blood in here and the room was neat and tidy.

‘We can rule out burglary or a simple home invasion, there would be more evidence throughout the apartment,’ Reid commented ‘normally you would see drawers being gone through or important belongings that have monetary value but there’s none of that here.’ He pointed towards the apple watch in its charging port, along with an ipad and macbook. ‘Police found his phone on the sofa, still streaming a show through Hulu.’

‘Police came for a welfare check this morning after several noise complaints, where was the music coming from?’ Morgan asked, back tracking to the lounge room again and casting his gaze around. He was going to ask one of the responding officers when Reid muttered a soft ‘there’ and pointed. Tucked in a small nook between a bookcase and the sofa was a stand with a modern record player and several vinyl discs neatly organised below it.

‘Hey!’ Morgan called out to a duo of police officers who were standing by the front door, talking. ‘Has somebody dusted this for prints?’ The officers looked a little stunned. ‘Who turned it off? Were they wearing gloves?’ Both men shook their heads, telling him they had only recently arrived to relieve the overnight shift who had attended in the early hours of the morning.

Morgan grumbled about incompetent officers as they rode the elevator back down to their car, they had gotten all they needed from the scene and had given the green light to have the body removed. The attending officer hadn’t been wearing gloves when he turned the record player off, they would have to chase him up for a set of prints now to rule him out as the suspect. Reid stayed quiet until they were both back in the car and they had pulled out in to traffic.
‘Out with it kid, I can basically hear the gears turning in that brain of yours.’ Morgan said, pulling up at a red light as Reid let out a long sigh of frustration. It took him a few minutes before he began to talk, Morgan was just glad that he was taking his advice and getting it all out without keeping it locked up inside.

‘These murders started three months ago, the first victim happened on the third of January.’ Reid was focused on the cars passing them as they started moving again. ‘In that time frame of at least four months if we are looking at a connection to me surrounding these murders, I don’t know how that connection was even made.’

‘What do you mean?’ Morgan asked, casting Reid a glance briefly.

‘In that time frame I haven’t released a paper, done any guest lectures at universities or made a media appearance outside of work, which doesn’t even count because Hotch makes it his own personal plan to shield me from most of the press releases that we do.’ Morgan couldn’t help but chuckle at that last bit, Hotch didn’t think Reid had noticed how little he has him lead announcements to the media. Morgan would have to pull aside to let him know, or maybe he would just let it keep going.

‘So what? You think this guy has been stalking you, following you around maybe?’ That was an idea Morgan didn’t want to entertain, if his best friend had been stalked he feels like he or anyone else on the team who went out with him would have noticed.

Reid stayed silent for a few minutes, Morgan could see him gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw against the thoughts.
‘I have an eidetic memory, I remember every face that I have seen and no matter how hard I think about it I can’t seem to link one face with any other connections. Plus we have been so busy with work lately, unless this guy has the disposable income to follow us around the country with cases, when would he have the time?’ This made sense to Morgan, there possibly couldn’t be someone around them that often. ‘Add in to that our unstable office hours, how late at night we go to social events like dinner or a movie and there isn’t time for anything else in-between.’

This was obviously affecting the doctor, Morgan could hear it in his voice and see it in the way his fist was clenched on his lap and the tapping of his fingers on the other knee. Morgan wished he had the words to make this better for his best friend, but he couldn’t. Reid was the one who was a genius and he had just said himself that he couldn’t connect one face to any other situation. It killed him that they had nothing to go on here.

Taking a deep breath Morgan squeezed his fists around his stranglehold on the steering wheel. ‘Where gonna catch this guy Reid, he’s not going to get away with this.’ Reid just gave him a sad smile before slumping back in his seat, saying nothing else until they were back in the office with their team.

Emily and Rossi had been the coroners office to pick up the reports on the other victims and JJ and Hotch had been visiting family members while Garcia had been looking for video footage surrounding the crime scenes or if the apartment buildings had any cameras set up anywhere. Judging by the grim moods and the muted silence, they hadn’t had much luck.

Spencer took the pile of files and reports silently, heading for the conference room. JJ reached out and placed a hand on his arm but he shrugged her off and skipped up the stairs, they heard the lock on the door click like a bullet entering the chamber. Everyone turned to face him as he slumped down in Reid’s chair and filled them in on the drive back.

Chapter Text

Sitting in the middle of the room Spencer looked up at his work station, he had been locked in here for three hours on his own now and he had taken advantage of the silence and the space to set up his timeline. The white board and the walls had been utilised, even the floor in front of where was sitting. Staring at everything now he regretted not bringing in some coffee or water as he swallowed against his dry mouth.

None of this still made sense, he had never met or interacted with any of the murdered men or the men that had been captured grainy on surveillance footage around the city. The only one that remotely included him was a man who lived on the same block as him, but they had never crossed path before and lived completely different lives.

In amongst all of the profiles he had written down where he had been, what he had been doing and when. When he wasn’t cross country on a case he included when he went to the local deli who sold his favourite coffee beans and smoked ham, the delicatessen where he brought the cheese Emily and JJ gave him hell for and the movie cinema or restaurant him and the team had gone to upon getting home or finishing work on office hours.

There were no correlations, at least between him and the victims.

In other terms, there was a painfully obvious pattern here. Each man had ordered take away from the same food delivery app, and died within an hour of the meal delivered notification. Their meals were partially served up, none of their belongings had been missing and there was no sign of a forced entry. Whoever was killing these men had to either know them, or in someway be included in the food delivery position. Who else would someone willingly open their door to at night?

The suspect never struck in daylight, it was always after eight and in apartment blocks with no security. All the suspect had to do was buzz the apartment, be allowed to enter and then to the victims apartment. Reid didn’t know if the murders were happening as soon as the door was opened, and the suspect was serving the dinner as a diversion or if he was loitering before coming back unexpectedly. Eventually he was going to have to go back out to his friends, his family, and admit defeat.

All the brains and genius in the world and Spencer couldn’t solve the simple solution.

What did he have to do with this to cause a man with poor literacy skills to commence murdering men to gain his attention? He had tried his hardest to find a link and there was none that he could see. It was still bothering him immensely that he didn’t know how he had gotten Spencer’s work email in the first place.

Sighing in defeat Spencer stood up, swaying for a moment as he grabbed a table while his blood pressure evened out, he needed a drink and some food. But first he needed to get his friends input on this, even if it only confused them the way that it had for him.

Unlocking the door and stepping out of the room, Spencer went a little red in the face when everyone looked up at him with startled looks. He hadn’t been in there that long he thought, glancing down at his watch in shock when he realised five hours had actually passed. No wonder he was dizzy and hungry. JJ was already rushing towards him, taking him by the arm and leading him to his desk where Morgan shot up from his chair and let him drop in to it.

‘Jesus kid, we thought we were gonna have to call maintenance to come and break you out of there yourself.’ Morgan quipped, leaning his hip against Spencer’s desk and looking down at him. ‘You look like shit.’

‘Gee, thanks.’ Spencer quipped back. ‘I didn’t mean to be in there so long but nothing was making sense.’

A water bottle and a packet of crackers were thrust under his nose. He really wanted a coffee but JJ was giving him her no nonsense mother look that she saved for Henry, so he took them and chugged half the water in one go. Once he had eaten his sleeve of crackers and finished his bottle of water everyone started questioning him.

‘Did you find anything of use?’ Hotch asked, giving him a stern disapproving look for how long he had spent holed up in the conference room, it was enough to make him squirm a little.

‘The only connections I could find was to the food delivery app each victim was ordering through and that they all lived in apartment blocks that didn’t have security or surveillance. Otherwise there was nothing.’ Reid said, stretching his back out. ‘The level of violence had increased from victim to victim, the hesitation marks decreased and then stopped. The first victim didn’t die straight away, so he cut his throat but there was evidence of the cut not being deep enough and he had to go back in. After that he just got more confident.’

‘Wait,’ Emily said, getting up and moving towards them ‘apartment buildings with no security.’ Everyone turned towards her, Spencer was glad to no longer be under scrutiny. ‘What does that remind you of?’

Nobody answered for a moment, before Hotch’s eyebrows rose up in recognition. ‘Spencer, does your apartment have any surveillance?’ Reid crinkled his brow, unsure where they were going with this.

‘No, it’s a really old building that was erected in 1932 they couldn’t get permission from the heritage society to make any further renovations to the building. Why?’ Spencer asked, not seeing the correlation yet.

Hotch braced his hands on his hips and shook his head, ‘you’re going to have to stay with someone on the team. We can’t in good faith let you go home with this information.’ Reid blinked up at him, still not getting it. Hotch sighed. ‘Reid you live in an apartment building with no security or surveillance. This could be the connection to you we are looking for.’

Shaking his head no, Reid readied himself to fight for his freedom. ‘I don’t use delivery apps, and everybody who lives in the building knows who is who and would never let someone off the street in to the building. One day they didn’t even let Emily or JJ in.’ Hotch didn’t look convinced. ‘I want to stay home Hotch, you of all people should understand that. Plus I don’t think I’m the victim here, that email was sent to get my attention.

‘Kids got a point Aron, if this guy was going to go after Reid he wouldn’t have drawn attention to himself through the email. All this guy wants is recognition.’ Rossi said, even though Hotch didn’t look at all convinced. ‘This guy probably doesn’t even know where Reid lives, or there would be more murders within the vicinity of his location.’

There were no links that Spencer was being followed, he had played the last few months over and over in his head. Bringing up faces and people surrounding him within his day to day tasks when they weren’t out on a case, nobody had showed up or caused concern. Rossi was likely right, this person couldn’t know where he lived. Hotch looked like he was considering the information, JJ had her lips pursed in disapproval and Morgan looked as though he was going to offer up his spare bedroom.

‘I want frequent check ins, phone calls when you get home and when you wake up. If this person does have their eyes set on you I want to put as much in place as we can, I’ll get in touch with the local PD and have them do frequent sweeps of the block and see if they will post a car nearby.’ Spencer hated the thought of that much control being taken from him, needing to advertise his every move. Some nights he didn’t go straight home, or his insomnia had him awake and up at odd hours. Was he supposed to call someone at three in the morning without causing anxiety and fear for his own wellbeing?

But it at least got him to stay in his own apartment with his own comfort items so he found himself nodding and agreeing. Until they caught the person responsible for this, he was going to have to curb his extracurricular hobbies and events.

Despite knowing that none of his friends would see or treat him any differently to how they already did; eccentric and particular, they didn’t know about his sexuality. Being bisexual wasn’t something he was scared of his friends knowing, he just wanted something in his life that was private and his own. Recently he had been experimenting with men, which he had thought would be easier then the intricacies of women but he was wrong. Men could be just as moody and difficult to navigate. Especially when he had to cancel dates and meet ups for a case that took him out of state.

Spencer was going to have to cancel another date now, for the third time. Through private messaging apps Spencer was honest and up front about his work without naming what he did, that he was often called off and needed to go out of state. A lot of potential partners had taken this at face value and been okay with rescheduling, some said that was okay and broke contact. There had been a few however that hadn’t taken it well when it happened and he had been harassed or treated rudely. He didn’t let it bother him though.

 After Spencer had agreed to his terms, Hotch nodded and headed off to his office. Reid gave Rossi a small, but quiet thank you and a smile before turning back to his computer and switching it on. Morgan, Emily and JJ headed off towards the conference room to study the work he had done and to see if they could add anything towards it. Clicking through his tabs he moved back to his email, curious as to whether he would have another one by now. It wouldn’t have taken the media long to announce that the FBI had taken on the case alongside the Quantico PD.

Hitting the refresh button he held his breath, and there it was.

Looking around to see if anyone was looking Spencer clicked on the email, he knew he should be involving his friends and his team but he didn’t want to risk losing all of his privacy. The subject line read: FINALLY

ITS ABUT TYME DR REID. DO U LYK ME NOW?
PLS W8 4 MY NXT GIFT

Spencer knew he should call his friends over, show them the email and prepare for what was likely coming next but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He didn’t want to give this man anymore attention then he already had. Spencer knew that people like this thrived and fed on attention, if this man was going to kill someone else he would do regardless of whether or not Reid gave him what he wanted.

For a moment he hovered his mouse over the reply button, part of him desperate to know who this is and the other part wanting to handle it on his own. But then he had just been thinking about how detrimental attention could be, so Spencer closed out of the email and forced himself to reply to other emails that needed attention this morning. The team wouldn’t have to worry about where he was for some time now, between how long he was in the conference room and attending the crime scene, none of his paperwork had been touched and he still needed to write his report on their last case.

Glancing over at the little kitchenette Spencer got up warily and headed towards the coffee pot to start a fresh brew, stronger then the others enjoyed but he needed the kick and the taste. Filling a mug when it was ready he moved back to his office and got started on the pile in his in box.

Chapter Text

There was something vibrating and jingling with ferocity on his bedside table, Spencer groaned in to his pillow. It felt like he had just gone to bed and now he was being cruelly ripped away from his hard earned sleep. Reluctantly releasing a hand from his cocoon of heavy blankets, he slapped it around on the bedside until he felt his phone. Squinting at the face of the device, he opened his eyes properly when he saw Hotch’s name and photo. Sitting up and shivering in the cool air of his apartment he hit the answer button before it rang out.

Last night he had fallen asleep on the sofa reading a book, dosing off for a few hours only to be awoken by someone banging on his door. When he had opened the door, half asleep in a pair of track pants and a v-neck t-shirt he had blinked owlishly at Derek who looked like he was ready to go to war. ‘Derek?’ He had sleepily mumbled.

Apparently, that wasn’t the right question to ask. Morgan shoved past him, entering his apartment and looking around until he went to the kitchen and found Spencer’s phone plugged in next to his kettle and on silent. Spencer normally took it to bed and turned the sound back on before falling asleep, and then it hit him. Derek was expecting a phone call off him that he had gotten home okay.

‘I forgot; I fell asleep on the sofa-.’ Reid tried to explain but Derek held up a finger and he let his teeth click closed.

Derek collected himself, still holding Spencer’s phone in a tight fist. Spencer wondered if he was going to throw it at him. ‘For a genius you’re really dumb sometimes kid.’ Spencer flinched a little. ‘One task, you had one task and you forgot about it.’ Morgan pulled the phone charger out and stalked towards him. ‘Look, see all of these missed calls and messages?’ Reid watched as Morgan scrolled and winced. ‘You’re damn well lucky we didn’t send the cops kid, but I’m the one who has the key, so Hotch sent me.’

Reid had spent the entirety of the next day making it up to everyone and apologising profusely. Morgan had sat there and made him ring every single person on his missed call list, so they knew he was okay. So, Reid had made sure when he got home tonight and when he went to bed, that he was safe and okay. Hotch calling him at; he squinted his eyes at the time, four in the morning was unexpected.

‘Is everything okay?’ Spencer asked when the call connected.

Hotch sounded exhausted over the phone, a weariness they were all feeling. ‘There’s been another one, it happened within the last few hours. The victim was supposed to call their relative back within the hour, the line rang out for two hours before they called in a welfare check.’ They all took it hard when there was another victim, even if there was nothing any of them could do without enough information, and as morbid as it was; another death gave them more data.

Swinging his legs out of the bed Reid yawned. ‘Are we meeting at the scene or the office?’ He asked, standing up and heading towards his wardrobe for something warm and work appropriate. Hotch telling him no caught him off guard.

‘Rossi and Prentiss are on their way to the crime scene now, everyone else is stood down till office hours.’ Then why was he calling him? ‘They wanted me to ring you, I’m sorry for the hour but the others are a little concerned. We still don’t know your link to this and it’s putting everyone on edge.’

Sitting back in bed, shivering in the winter chill and just as exhausted as his boss was on the other end, Reid decided to fess up. ‘I’ve had two more emails; I had planned on telling you today if another had come in. They haven’t been threatening towards me or the public, it’s mostly just him begging for my attention.’ He could hear Hotch’s intake of breath and was prepared for the tongue lashing, but it never came.

‘I had figured as much; you did the right thing not confronting this person. When you come in at seven-thirty you can show them to me. The others don’t have to know, I know how their concern affects you.’ Hotch failed to hide a yawn. ‘We may need to get you out in front of the press, have you admit some role in this.’

Spencer yawned in sympathy. This was something he had been dreading but also preparing himself for. The media was a tool they utilised a lot, and it had helped them in numerous cases when they needed to get information out to the unsub. ‘I’ll get JJ help me to prepare a statement.’ They said their goodbyes, and Spencer sagged back into his bedding as he burrowed back in.

Despite having only gotten a few hours of sleep, Spencer mostly spent the rest of the morning tossing and turning as he fell in and out light dozes. Whenever he slept for longer then fifteen minutes, he was plagued with visions of brutalised corpses with his face and those of his friends. If they got hurt in the process of this case, he would never forgive himself, the guilt of knowing how concerned they were made him feel even worse.

When Spencer’s alarm went off, he grumbled, and then sniffled. Groaning, he struggled weakly to push his layers of blanket off his chilled body which made no sense because his pyjamas were damp with sweat. Morgan made fun of him whenever they had to share a motel room and Reid would come back from reception with three extra blankets, it was a purely comfort thing. The weight lowered his level of anxiety and helped him sleep better; it was already hard to sleep on a case as it was. New environments were hard.

Standing up Spencer grabbed his phone and stumbled for the kitchen, his throat was dry and itchy, and he really needed some coffee. There was a dull throb above his eyes, and he swiped a sleeve across his nose. A nights missed sleep was enough to confuse his body, add on top of that the stress and everything else he figured tonight he would have to leave work early and try to get a full eight hours of sleep.

When the kettle was boiled Spencer grabbed a mug and the instant coffee, that he kept for slow mornings like this, he added a touch of sweetener and some milk and moved towards the sofa where he had another blanket, he could wrap himself in.

There was no way he was sick, and even if he was, he was still going in to work and he was still going to address the media. This unsub couldn’t get away with killing more people because he had a little cold. There was no other excuse.

After his coffee and a three-minute nap Spencer was relieved to step in to the warm heat of his shower, he spent at least five minutes standing under the steady stream before scrubbing his hair and body. Getting dressed tired him out, but he was still ahead of time for the subway, but he didn’t think he could manage that today and ended up in the back of a taxi that was far too warm and stuffy.

Seeing as it was quarter to seven in the morning Spencer wasn’t expecting anyone else to be in yet, but Hotch had his back turned as he poured himself coffee. It wasn’t until Spencer coughed hoarsely that he turned around in surprise. ‘What are you doing?’ He asked, looking Spencer up and down before walking over and placing the back of his hand on Spencer’s forehead like a parent would for a child. His brow furrowed.

‘We have to look at the emails, right? And the media release?’ Spencer asked stupidly, putting his bag down by his chair before sinking down into it, reaching for a tissue to blow his nose. Hotch just kept giving him that confused look, and Spencer waited for the other shoe to drop.

‘You’re sick.’ Hotch said bluntly, but Reid just shook his head. He wasn’t sick, he just had a little head cold. ‘Your nose is running and red, you have a fever and that cough sounded awful Spencer.’

Spencer chuckled up at Hotch. ‘I can see why they hired you to be a profiler, very astute.’ Hotch didn’t look amused by his response.

‘This isn’t a joke Spencer, why did you come in if you were unwell? We can hold down the fort without you while you get some rest.’ Spencer just shook his head.

Turning to his computer and hitting the power button, Spencer moved his chair aside to make space for his boss. ‘I’m here now, I even spent money on a cab so I’m not leaving. I can go and find a mask if you’re worried about anyone else catching a cold.’ Hotch just gave him a sympathetic look, confusing Spencer.

‘I’m worried about you Spencer, not the rest of the team. Have you at least taken something for your fever?’ Reid shook his head; he hadn’t even thought about that when he woke up this morning. All his effort had just gone in to getting ready and getting to work. Despite his undershirt, button up and sweater vest with a cardigan over the top of it all he still felt a little cold and the sweat collecting at the base of his spine and his underarms wasn’t helping the situation. He simply shook his head.Ha

With a small sigh Hotch headed towards the kitchenette and reached up for the little first aid kit that was kept there, Garcia had put one together after everyone had complained about not having band aids or Panadol when they had a headache. Spencer watched his boss search through the contents before finding what he wanted and filling a cup with water. Hotch placed two pills down in front of him with the glass and stared at him expectantly.

A sick feeling of unease grew in his stomach, he hadn’t been the one to pop the tablets and even though he knew his boss and friend wouldn’t feed him opioids there was always that unease around taking medication. ‘It’s just Panadol Spencer, I can get the packet if that would make you feel better.’ It wasn’t said unkindly, Reid swallowed and winced at the pain in his throat.

Reaching out Spencer took the pills and threw them back quickly, sculling the glass of water. Hotch went back over to the first aid kit and surprised Spencer when he came back with a thermometer. This was a side of Hotch he wasn’t used to, Spencer imagined this was what he was like as a father to Jack. He imagined this was what it felt like to be treated by a father that cared for you. Holding still he allowed his boss to insert the end into his ear and get a reading, the thermometer beeped out an alarm and he peeked at it when Hotch pulled it away.

Turned out Spencer wasn’t actually cold; he was actually burning up. The reading of 39.2 was a little alarming, he didn’t feel that sick and had gone to bed completely healthy with no signs of illness. But then he remembered someone on the train had been coughing without covering their mouth, sitting just across from him. Even though he had moved seats after that it must have been long enough to be exposed.

‘If I send you home there will be nobody to watch over you.’ Hotch stated the obvious. Spencer shook his head. He wasn’t wrong, he had nobody intimate in his life outside of the very people on his team, his family. ‘Let’s give the Panadol some time to work and then we can recheck in a few hours.’

Moving back towards his computer Spencer opened his emails, heart racing as he saw the new email from the unsub. Waiting for Hotch to wheel over a chair of his own they sat side by side as they opened and read it. There were the same common spelling mistakes, but a few less then normal. The email asked whether Spencer had been at the crime scene this morning and warned him of a surprise that should come soon. Clicking back, he showed the other ones to his boss, who took his time reading them before sitting back in his chair.

‘You weren’t at the crime scene, which means he can’t be actively stalking you otherwise he would have known, this email wasn’t sent until six-thirty this morning. So, he wasn’t watching, or at least he was until the police turned up and then he left.’ This was reassuring that the unsub didn’t know Reid’s address.

‘I wonder what the surprise is,’ Spencer mused ‘he’s escalating now to really get my attention. I think it’s a good idea that I provide that press release today. Maybe it will be enough to lengthen the cooling down period.’

‘Are you sure you want to put yourself at the forefront like this?’ Hotch asked, making sure he maintained eye contact with Reid to ensure an honest answer from him.

‘It needs to be me, it’s my attention that he wants. I’m torn between degrading or lifting him up though, either one could have a negative affect on the community.’ Hotch nodded in agreeance. ‘I want to see photos of the crime scene before I do anything though, I need to see whether he has left anything behind.’

‘We will get through this Spencer, and don’t think that you’re on your own in this.’ It wasn’t often that he had these types of moment with his boss and Spencer soaked up the warmth of his reassurances.

Chapter Text

Everyone had fussed over him; Garcia was the worst mother hen and Morgan had warned him he better not get sick too. Rossi and Emily kept their distance, joking about germs while pushing more tissue boxes and bottles of water on his crowded desk. After a brief conversation with Hotch, JJ had given him a hug and felt his forehead the same way his boss had before sitting down with him and going over his press release together. Spencer had the bare bones ready, but she helped him clean it up and get it camera ready.

At some point he had missed Garcia sneaking out, until she was marching up to his desk and dumping a plastic bag down on his desk before taking out each item and telling him what they were for. Cough syrup, lozenges, fever reduces and honey and lemon tea. She’d made him take the syrup which made his nose wrinkle and then suck on a soothers while his cup of tea brewed.

This was, again, something he was unfamiliar with. His mum had done her best but by the time he would get home from school she would have forgotten that he was sick. It had been built in to him to care for himself and usually then it was with limited funds, so he often went without except for maybe a box of Panadol for the fever.

Having Hotch employ a fatherly role had made him glad for the fever flush in his cheeks to hide the embarrassment from his face, so accepting Garcia’s ministrations and JJ’s hug had been enough to make his eyes almost water. He knew they were there for him, they spent all of their time together and called each other family, but it was something altogether different when it was put in to play.

Shuffling through the photos from this mornings crime scene, Reid squinted at the defensive wounds before bringing the photo closer to his face. The right hand had a partial amputation, this was a severe wound and told him this victim had fought hard and long. Four fingers and the knuckles were bent and crooked on the floor, the thumb looking lonely on it’s own. The unsub was escalating and none of the crime scenes had given them anything.

They had no finger prints, fluids or witnesses. Doing this late at night gave him anonymity, they were hoping Garcia would have something for them after going through the victims phones. If they could access the food delivery application and see who had delivered the food to each victim, that would be their biggest lead.

For now though Garcia had been searching endless video surveillance, none of the apartments had any so she had branched out to ATM cameras, storefront video and traffic light cameras. Garcia had been complaining that the video footage was poor quality, and she was having a hard time cleaning it up by running it through enhancement programs. They’d all sympathised for her; it wouldn’t be an easy task especially as she still had to run the footage through facial recognition programs to see if any one face showed up at every crime scene.

‘Reid.’ Lifting his head up, Spencer looked over to his boss who jerked his head towards his office. Getting up slowly, he cursed his immune system for choosing right now to rebel against him. His joints hurt and all he wanted was a hot magnesium bath and ice cold dry ginger ale. But he wouldn’t be going home for another five hours, and his press release was due in one. A trip to the toilet to fix up his complexion and hair probably wouldn’t hurt.

After battling the stairs he followed his boss in to his office and sat down, looking up at him expectantly. ‘Stand down Reid, I just want to check your temperature again. You’re due more pain relief in an hour.’

Sitting as still as possible while his boss probed his ear with the thermometer he felt out of place, he didn’t know what he was actually supposed to do right now. When would be the right time to move or stand up? The thermometer beeped a little less urgently this time but the screen was still red, which meant he still had a fever. Hotch turned the monitor towards him, showing him the electronic reading of 38.8.

The fever had barely gone down at all, immediately his brain thought up reasons why he needed to stay at work and that he would be okay for the press release still, but all he got was another cooler hand against his forehead which felt really good. Without meaning to he hummed, pressing in to the coolness of Hotch’s hand until he realised what he had just down and felt more heat fill his cheeks.

Trying to pull away Hotch’s hand just followed him, so he sat there and let it happen. It really was wonderful and helped his throbbing head. When that hand got to warm Hotch replaced it with his other one, Reid realised he was going to run out of cool hands and almost groaned.

Once Hotch had pulled away, he sat back down behind his desk and acted like nothing had just happened, and that Reid wasn’t a giant cry baby who needed people when he was sick even if it made him feel the good type of warm on the inside. ‘How are you going with the press release?’

Apart from using a quieter voice, Hotch eased straight back to his role.

Coughing a little, Spencer pulled his tissue out of his sleeve and wiped his nose. ‘I am pretty sure that JJ has been sitting too close to me and that in the next three days we are all going to be sick. Otherwise it’s going well and I’m ready for it.’ He wiped his nose again, how much fluid could actually be in his sinuses right now? This was beyond excessive.

‘Good, we need to start getting ahead of this.’ Hotch said, picking up his own copy of this mornings crime scene. ‘Are you comfortable with your profile?’

Spencer nodded. ‘I’ve been going over it, I think it’s the right side of connecting with them or at least getting them to slip up and make a mistake. Our biggest chance at finding this person is likely to be through Garcia, getting access to the victims phones and getting the name of the delivery driver. Even if they don’t turn out to be the killer there is a high chance that they have crossed paths with the killer, they may even be the ones who are giving the killer access to the apartment complex.’

‘Some of the families are stalling, and don’t want to hand over the devices or the history but we are hitting them with everything we have to convince them to give them to us.’ Hotch sighed and leant his arms on his desk. ‘JJ and Morgan have given me some apprehension about the press release, they think this could make you a victim.’ Spencer rolled his eyes.

‘The emails haven’t been threatening in nature, they have been leading and a show of desperation. If I was going to be a victim to these crimes there would be more threats, I don’t think that this is someone that sophisticated.’ Spencer responded. ‘If I was being watched or followed I would know.’ Everyone needed to stop treating him like he’s still a kid fresh out of university, he had grown so much since his first year working with the BAU.

Nodding along, Hotch gave him a reassured look. ‘Take more Panadol in forty-five minutes.’ Smiling, Spencer stood up and left his bosses office. The press release was getting closer so he beelined it for the toilets.

Pushing through the door he grabbed a heap of hand towels and ran them under some cold water, mopping up the perspiration on his face and the crust around his nostrils that he couldn’t tell if it was dry skin or snot. Looking in the mirror he winced, where his cheeks and nose weren’t flushed he was sickly pale with dark undereye circles. His hair was almost a lost cause, his sweater vest was the only thing doing something for him and there was a tissue peaking out of each sleeve of his cardigan.

Combing his loose curls with his fingers before running some water through it, he considered asking JJ or Garcia for some foundation before thinking against it, he would just sweat it off. Spencer was hoping that the lobby where the press release was being held would be just chilly enough to stop him overheating. A cough wracked his chest and he groaned as he leaned over the sink, his body shaking with the effort.

Whoever that woman who had been sick on the train was, Spencer was going to spill coffee on her the next time he saw her on the tube. Maybe he was going to have to invest in some masks for public transport, ever since he had caught Anthrax every cold had gone to his scarred lungs. Something he had made sure to keep from his team, though they probably noticed anyway.

Gathering himself together Spencer pushed out of the bathroom and went back to his desk, stopping by the kitchenette to grab a cup of coffee to bolster his nerves. He had been in the media before, he had given presses and told reporters about unsub. But it wasn’t something he did a lot, they had JJ for that before she took on the role of a profiler and even then she normally took the lead anyway.

‘Spence, you ready to head downstairs?’ JJ was skipping down the steps from her office, paper in her hand as she approached. Standing up with an awkward smile he nodded, regretting that cup of coffee as he thought about the idea he may need to pee while he was in front of the reporters. Should he go and use the bathroom again? Why hadn’t he relieved himself the first time that he was in there? Garcia and JJ had been plying him with tea and water. Anxiety raised his heart rate.

‘You’re going to do great,’ JJ assured him ‘just stand up straight, remember not to use too much eye contact with reporters or any of the cameras. Do you need any notes?’ She asked. Spencer held up his sheet of notes as they stepped in to the elevator. ‘Are you sure you’re okay to do this?’

‘I feel better then I did this morning, Garcia’s medicine has really helped.’ Spencer lied, feeling guilty right away.

They rode the elevator in silence as Reid bounced up and down on the balls of his feet and tried to ignore the sticky beads of sweat that were collecting between his shoulder blades and running down to his pant line. When they got to the lobby he had to convince his legs to move. Using the security of the doors he took a moment to blow his nose and cough, before clearing his throat as much as he could.

There was a mass of reporters waiting for them, men with cameras on their shoulders and bright lights on either side of the group directed toward the podium where he and JJ would stand. Faltering for a moment he almost wanted to turn back around and go to his office but he had to do this, it didn’t matter how sick he felt when there was someone out there murdering people to get his attention.

JJ put a hand on his back as they moved towards the podium, JJ stepped up first. ‘We’d like to thank you all for coming here for this report, we know facts have been quiet in the media but we are here to deliver a report on the case.’ JJ looked back at him and Spencer moved forward. ‘Special Agent Dr Spencer Reid is here to give you this report.’

Clearing his throat again Reid placed his notes down on the podium, swallowing against his sore throat. ‘As you may know there have been a series of deaths in the Quantico area, the latest occurring in the early hours of this morning. We believe a male, mid thirties with a low level education and therefor entry level employment has been using a food delivery application to gain entry to apartment buildings where he is committing these acts.’ The light was adjusted to face him directly.

‘This person may present a self-assured personality, while being insecure in private or his own thoughts. They’re likely single, having grown up in an environment where relationships were unstable and included domestic abuse.’ Spencer cleared his throat again, wishing for a bottle of water. ‘We ask that if you suspect someone, you forward those details on to us or the Quantico Police Department. Do not approach this person, as he poses a grave threat. This level of violence and escalation makes it very important that we take this person off the street.’ Cameras flashed, he struggled not to flinch.

‘Thank you very much for your time.’ Spencer nodded his head before stepping back to allow JJ to field questions. He moved a few feet away from the press and turned his back to cough, before turning back around to a camera going off in his face. Slightly blinded for a moment by the flash Spencer stumbled backwards, a hand catching his arm just in time.

‘Do you have any other words for the press?’ The man wasn’t as tall as Spencer, he was lean with short greying hair and long fingers. Spencer backed away when he released his arm, looking towards JJ but she was still engaged.

‘No, Agent Jerau will be fielding any questions.’ Spencer moved away, watching as the man shrugged his shoulders and headed back to the questioning throng in front of JJ. It wasn’t long until she too was saying her goodbye and they loaded in to the elevator.

Wrapping an arm around his waist JJ lightly leant in to him. ‘You did great, hopefully that profile is enough to bring in some leads we can work with.’

‘You know airborne diseases can travel greater distances then six feet, and remain infectious in the air and environment from minutes to hours. So hugging is likely exponentially increasing your risks of catching my common cold. Not to mention the poor lack of ventilation in this elevator and building as a whole.’ JJ laughed, squeezing him a little tighter anyway.

When they got back to the office the others were there waiting, there were flying mentions of going out to grab a bite to eat for dinner when an office clerk walked up them asking, ‘Dr Reid?’ Putting up his hand the clerk handed him a padded envelope, he signed for it in confusion before looking down at the sticker.

There was his whole name printed out, and the right office and everything. Sitting down he tore through the envelope and peered inside, just as confused until he turned it upside down on his desk and several fingers tumbled out. Garcia yelped while JJ and Emily held a hand to their mouths. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan came over to inspect them.

‘Somebody grab some gloves,’ Reid asked, leaning down to inspect the severed digits ‘these are fresh, was this mornings victim missing any fingers?’ Emily went to her desk and flipped through the file before shaking her head.

‘Then there’s another victim out there that we don’t know about yet.’ Rossi said. ‘And you just went on national tv and insulted this man.’

‘I’ll have a team come down and get them, maybe they have some clues.’ Hotch handed a pair of gloves to Spencer, his own already on. They picked up a finger each, looking for any ink or messages that could be seen by the naked eye.

Spencer felt sick, someone else was dead now and it was all his fault.

Chapter Text

After the fingers had arrived at his desk a fight immediately broke out. JJ insisted Reid go home with her tonight, taking the fingers as a personal threat against him. Hotch had agreed, Spencer had said no over and over again but nobody had been listening, but he eventually settled the moment when Derek said he would step up and stay at his house rather then uprooting him. Spencer was thankful for how much JJ cared but he couldn’t risk this man coming to her house when Henry was there, plus he didn’t want to make his godson sick.

Someone had come and taken the fingers and the envelope, Hotch had put out a message for the police department to be on the look out for any welfare checks or noise complaints. They had all attempted to get on with their work, waiting on the edge of a knife to be called to another crime scene but it never came.

Spencer had been both relieved and annoyed when the day was called in, everyone around him had made the decision to go out for dinner. Spencer didn’t think he had the energy or mental capacity, the fingers and his profile had been playing in a loop in his head. The fingers were obviously a warning, and the murder had likely happened before he had done his presentation but it made him wonder what the killers next move was going to be now. Had he made a big mistake releasing a profile that could backfire on the greater public?

Before they left for dinner Hotch had checked his temperature again, which was still sitting at 38 and pushed more Panadol and nurefon on him with a crinkled brow, obviously not impressed that his fever wasn’t reacting to the medication. Garcia had taken it upon herself to repack Spencer’s little bag of healthcare supplies, fussing over him and helping him slip in to his cardigan and almost going as far to button it up for him.

There was a bubbly crackling in his lungs when he took a deep breath, so he had been focusing on training himself to take more shallow ones more frequently, which also helped to ease off the coughing. The fever had been both burning and cooling, he had given up on his cardigan because he was sick of taking it on and off so frequently and he didn’t have the heart to tell Garcia he was too warm to wear it right now.

Without anyone choosing a location they ended up at Spencer’s favourite Chinese restaurant, and while he knew he should be thankful for them thinking of him right now and the support and concern they were showing for him; he was exhausted with absolutely no appetite and all he could think of right now was a hot drink but he knew if he didn’t order some food and at least make an attempt to eat something before going home with Derek then they would only stress over him more.

Conversation had been vibrant over dinner as they ate, fun was poked at Reid when he struggled to use the chopsticks supplied until Emily took pity on him and asked the waitress for a fork. Instead of having something cold he had ordered a pot of tea and he was honestly enjoying that more then his meal. Hotch had been watching him on and off throughout the night, but Reid couldn’t bring himself to care, he was just too tired at this point and was frequently checking plates to see how far everyone was through their meals.

It made him feel guilty, and like a huge burden at the same time. They cared about him, they were basically his family and the only real consistency that he had in his life and he relished that most of the time. But tonight he was overwhelmed and the guilt was directed inwards because of him another man had died and given his profile to the media there was likely to be even more murders. Someone else was going to suffer greatly for what he had said and done, every time that he went over his profile in his head he couldn’t correlate what he had said with reality now.

This person had known his full name, the office and building address. While the FBI building could be found on google, his office and department wasn’t posted online. It was driving him mad that he couldn’t put his finger on this or work out what his relation to the unsub that was driving him to do what he was doing. Reid was a heavily private person and very rarely ever gave up his job title, where he worked or his full name. So where had this person gained access to all of his information like this?

‘Hey, you doing okay there pretty boy?’ Spencer looked up from his tea, Derek was watching him closely ‘you’ve barely touched your meal.’ He tried to advertise that he was ready to leave without saying it outright and was relieved when Morgan pulled out his wallet. ‘I think that might be our cue to call it a night.’

‘Put your wallet away,’ Rossi waved his hand at Morgan ‘I’ll cover the bill. You just get the kid home safe and sound.’ Derek asked if he was sure before putting his wallet away and pushing his chair back. ‘We still want updates, when you get back and go to bed and then again in the morning.’

‘You’ll hear from us before then if the latest crime scene has been uncovered, I’ve asked for some officers to increase their patrols in areas with apartment buildings.’ Hotch said, wiping his hands on the linen napkin. ‘I don’t think he will do something else tonight but it’s better to be safe then sorry.’

Emily stood up, pulling her jacket from the back of the chair and shrugging it on. ‘Hopefully when we find the crime scene we can get some more information. If this is escalating then he is on track to making a mistake, he’s going to get too cocky and it will be something stupid that leads us to him.’

‘Tomorrow I’m going to push some of the parents to release their sons phones to me. All I can access without the device is their location and call logs with messages, which I’ve already been through.’ Garcia came over to Spencer and wrapped him up in a hug. ‘I have a program running overnight combining all of the surrounding area video footage looking for any similar profiles, if the facial recognition software can work with the grainy imagery we may have something in the morning!’

They followed Hotch and the others out of the restaurant after Rossie had paid, huddling in the fluorescent light from the window. ‘It might be worth bringing neighbours and other tenants of the buildings in for an interview, see if there is anything that they might remember.’ Hotch rubbed his hands together in the cold. ‘I’ll see everyone at the office around 7.30.’ He nodded at them before breaking off towards his car.

Spencer was silently thankful for the first time that night that Derek was staying with him, Derek had a car which meant all they had to do was walk to it down the street, forgoing the effort of the tube and walking to and from stations. They walked to Derek’s car in silence, hands hidden in pockets and underarms in attempt to stive off the cold. It was a relief getting in the car, the heater was turned on high when they started the engine and Reid could have melted in to his seat as the warm air blew on his burning cold nose.

Fever or no fever didn’t save his extremities from the biting cold, he held his fingers up to the vent while Derek laughed at him. Once they were warmed up he rooted through the plastic bag at his feet and pulled out a lozenge. ‘Sorry we had to leave.’ He apologised. Derek took his eyes off the road for a minute to give him a surprised look.

‘Kid we left because everyone was stalling, nobody had eaten anything in fifteen minutes. They’re worried about you man, you’re unwell and someone mailed you fingers. Do you really think they wanted to just let you leave?’ Morgan always said it how it was and that was one of the things that Reid really liked about his best friend, he was fierce and no nonsense. ‘Nobody wants to see you get hurt Spence, they’re just worried so maybe let them in a little and let them know what’s playing on your mind.’

They sat in silence for a moment, the engine and the heater fan filling the silence before Reid let his shoulders drop with a sigh. ‘People are dying because of me, sons, brothers, uncles. If I had been more thorough and up to date with my emails then maybe we could have stopped them by now.’ He took a deep breath, coughing harshly. ‘I think I was too soon in my profile and that I may have been wrong about what I said and I don’t make mistakes like that, and now there’s someone else out there and likely another victim in retaliation. It will all be my fault.’ His voice got quiet at the end, the shame heavy in his words.

‘Look, Reid, come on man. We all give you a hard time for being a genius, but you’re only human kid. There’s only so much one person can know, or work with. You’re just as flawed as the rest of us, we all make mistakes and wrong decisions and we’ve all had people die on account of us. But we have each other to help carry that burden, we didn’t turn our backs on Hotch when Haley died or on Emily no matter how angry we had all been that she made us think she was dead.’ They turned on to Reid’s street, pulling in to a park as a light rain misted the windscreen.

‘Let us help you Reid, you aren’t alone in this okay?’ Morgan made sure Reid was looking at him when he said this. ‘We will all be here for you whether you want us to be or not, that’s how family works okay?’ Reid nodded and smiled softly, he was never going to get used to this- having someone who was more then his mother in his corner. He was blessed.

When they got out of the car and headed towards his apartment building, Reid was shocked when Morrgan pulled him in to a quick hug. It made him feel warm on the inside, as well as a little embarrassed but he let his arms come up around Derek anyway before they rushed inside out of the rain that was starting to pick up now.

Inside Spencer went straight for the linen cupboard, pulling out sheet sets and blankets. Spencer had been cleaning the spare room on a rare day off when they had been called off on a case and the bed was unmade. Derek came out of the room and took the sheets and blankets off him. ‘Walking up the stairs nearly killed you kid, I think I can make a bed.’ Spencer rolled his eyes before moving off towards his bathroom.

‘Did you want to shower first?’ Spencer called out, voice hoarse. His throat was killing him and it felt like there was a large purring cat on his chest.

‘Nah knock yourself out kid!’ Derek called back.

A little relieved to be under the hot water, Spencer quickly stripped off. A bath would have been preferable but if he had gotten in to one right now he wouldn’t be getting back out. Stepping under the hard stream of water he turned his face up in to it and let it hit against his forehead where he’d had a headache all day, he rubbed his temples and groaned. Sagging in exhaustion he took all his shower products to the floor and sat down under the steaming hot water, he was just too tired.

Chapter Text

Flicking the flat sheet over the double bed Morgan tucked it in, his mum would have something to say if he didn’t know how to make a bed properly, even if he still hadn’t quiet picked up how to fold a fitted sheet or put a doona cover on without a struggle. He was glad Spencer was in the shower, he was sure the genius would have some difficult technique to share with him. When he shook the doona out to cover the bed he ignored the uneven lumpy bits, he was just putting more blankets on top anyway so nobody could judge him for his efforts.

For some reason Spencer’s apartment never fully warmed up, which was good in the summer but useless in the winter. It was no surprise the kid had gotten sick, Derek hadn’t taken his jacket off yet and he was a little chilled despite having made the bed. Layering the last blanket on the spare bed he went back out to the main living areas and did a search. He moved from window to window, making sure they were sealed and locked tight, there was no fire escape outside but he felt better knowing everything was locked.

Spencer was strict inside his apartment, it was his safe space that he rarely let anyone else invade. When he had moved in Morgan had come over and helped him instal a second lock on the front door that he was diligent to lock every night. Living alone he rarely opened the door to someone, if one of his friends was coming over they often had to message him they were at the door.

There was snakes at the bottom of all of the doors, curtains thick and black out thick. Derek moved from the lounge room to the kitchen where the biggest window in the apartment was behind the wet area. JJ had gifted him a house plant earlier in the year and Morgan was a little surprised to find it alive and thriving, kid couldn’t meet his own basic needs but had somehow kept a plant alive. Go figure. The window was shut with a length of wood stopping it from being opened, he pulled the curtains closed.

It was an apartment that didn’t look like it belonged to someone who had only just broken thirty, more along the lines of a peculiar older male that collected books. It was warm and comfortable though, something Morgan was happy about. Before he had come to Reid’s apartment for the first time he had expected something either sterile or over the top cluttered. But it wasn’t like that at all, there were vintage rugs covering most of the floor boards while cluttered his bookcases showed books that were used and cared for. There were little bits and pieces that just screamed Spencer, recently he had added a keyboard to his repertoire and it made Morgan smile.

It had been obvious recently that Reid was falling more in to who he wanted to be, more the man he hoped to become then the kid of the team who needed to be babied. After his lows with Dilauded everyone had moved in to support him and to help carry the case load and keep him busy socially. But it had been some time now and Spencer was really starting to shine in his work and his social life. Morgan was happy to see it and he couldn’t stop a small smile from lilting his lips when he saw a small dinosaur that Jack had given him last week, front and centre on his coffee table.

Heading towards the bathroom he heard the rushing of the water, he wasn’t desperate for a shower but Reid had been in there a while now. Derek was going to knock on the door when there was another knock, it took him a moment to realise he hadn’t made the sound before looking towards the front door. Frowning Derek walked over, pausing for a moment at the door before opening it and another knock came.

Swiping the chain out of the lock he opened the door, frowning at the man in front of him who was sharing the same confused looking with him. ‘Can I help you?’ Morgan asked, leaning past him to look down the hallway for anyone else.

‘Ah,’ the guy stepped back and shook his head ‘unless Lucy has me coming over for a threesome I think I’ve got the wrong floor.’ This confused Morgan even more, he stood up straighter to look more menacing. ‘This isn’t level eight is it?’

‘That’s three floors up,’ Morgan looked him up and down, mid thirties and greying at the temples. Pale with a weak upper lip, eyes giving away something Morgan couldn’t quiet pin down. ‘Maybe next time follow the numbers in the staircase.’ He went to shut the door when he caught a muttered asshole from the stranger. ‘Excuse me?’ Of all times to not have his phone on him, he should be taking a photo right now and giving it to Garcia to run through her programs and track down who he was.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that.’ The guy didn’t sound sorry in the least but he was moving down the hallways back towards the stairwell so Morgan let it go. When he shut and locked the door again, he could still hear the shower running. It had taken him a while to make the bed, and his laps around the apartment. Spencer should have well and truly been done in the shower now.

Standing in front of the door he pressed his ear against the wood and tried to catch any hidden sounds behind the wood that wasn’t just the rushing of water. Bringing his hand up he called out to Spencer and knocked, pausing for a minute before knocking and calling out a little louder. ‘Kid if you don’t respond then I’m coming in.’ There was nothing in response, just more silence and water.

Wrapping a hand around the doorknob he was relieved when it opened, he’d had visions of having to explain to Reid what had happened to his door if he was fine and just had his head under the water. A billow of hot steam rushed across his face when the door swung open, the fan was on but it wasn’t coping with the amount of steam the hot water was pushing out. Waving a hand in front of his face he panicked when he realised Spencer was on the floor, his knees were pulled up against his chest, arms resting in the concave hollow of his chest with his head resting on the tiled wall.

Derek was going to kill the kid, he hated that this wasn’t the first time he had found Spencer asleep in the shower. It should not be something he had a history to compare it to but here he was, turning off the taps and squatting down beside his best friend, laying a towel over his waist to keep some of his dignity.

Quietly Derek rested his hand on Spencer’s shoulder, saying his name with a little shake that increased in volume until he got a groggy moan. ‘Kid, come on you have to get up, you can’t sleep in the shower.’ Spencer blinked rapidly, lifting his head from the porcelain pillow he had been using. It was almost comical the look he was getting right now, the situation hadn’t sunk in yet.

‘Morgan?’ Spencer’s voice was gritty, he clumsily pushed a chunk of hair out of his eyes before looking around and realising where he was. ‘Why am I in this shower?’ He coughed, groaning when he took the weight off his tailbone. ‘Why are you in my shower?’ Derek couldn’t help but chuckle.

‘You don’t remember falling asleep?’ Reid shook his head, clearing his throat and gazing around. He lifted a hand to his hair before letting it drop back by his side as he shifted again covering his body with the large towel. ‘Come on kid, I think it’s time for bed.’ Spencer just nodded as Morgan stood up and turned his back, unwilling to leave the kid alone again. He knew Spencer and he knew that while he was predominantly an insomniac he could also fall back asleep quickly.

‘Derek.’ He turned around, looking down at his best friend. It was obvious he had tried to get up, while his modesty was kept he was more sprawled out then tucked in now. ‘I can’t get up.’ Morgan almost missed the words against the ceiling fan, but the ashamed look on Spencer’s face stopped him from clarifying.

‘Keep the towel up,’ Derek told him before putting his hands under his friends arms and bracing his back ‘all I want you to do is hold on to that towel and push with your feet.’ Spencer nodded and with one swift motion or mild exertion they were both standing, though Spence was wavering in his arms dangerously so he tightened his grip and took most of his weight.

They had to do something about Spencer not taking better care of himself, there wasn’t a lot of times where they were exposed to each others bare bodies at work or in private and the kid was awfully thin. It was all hidden under the layers of clothes he wore so seeing it on display like this and being able to hold his weight without much strain was concerning. It didn’t help that Spencer was long and gangly, with his model worthy sharp jaw and cheekbones that people would pay money for.

They all did their best slipping water or orange juice in front of Spencer, taking the cups of coffee away from him when he had obviously had too much. Made the effort to promote team dinners and having Spencer taste their meals as well as his own to get food in to him, the same on cases when it came to lunch breaks. Pulling Spencer away from a map and crime scene photos was a group effort. One of them would talk about being hungry, then someone else would say what they wanted to eat and then it was just a matter of convincing Spencer to go with them.

But they had been so busy and on the road so much between cases recently, cases that took a high level of manpower and working hours that lunches and dinners had been few and far between for all of them. Even Morgan knew he himself had lost some weight, he hadn’t been to the gym in months due to their work schedule.

As Spencer wrapped the towel around his thin frame and felt more stable on his feet Morgan stepped back to let him have his own personal space again. Maybe after this case he would bring up holidays and a vacation, somewhere hot and overflowing with alcohol and sun and bottomless brunches.

Thinking of Spencer in shorts and a floral button down short sleeved shirt made him smirk to himself, he was determined to make it happen. Though the kid was so painfully pale he was going to need a gallon of sunscreen each day. Morgan was going to talk to Hotch about it, see if they can swing it someway that worked for everyone. Even if it meant putting Spencer on a sun chair with a book and something fruity and sugary in his glass, it would still be getting him outside and away from the office and the stress of their work life.

‘You gonna be okay to make it back to your bedroom?’ Morgan asked, arm outstretched as Spencer blanched a little with a dramatic sway. He nodded though, clutching the towel and moving for the open door. ‘What time do you wake up in the morning?’ Derek asked, so he could set his alarm to wake up at the same time.

‘Physically I get up at five, mentally five-thirty.’ Derek couldn’t help the sharp laughter that slipped out.

‘What does that mean?’ Spencer looked a little embarrassed but answered him anyway.

‘I get up, drag myself to the kitchen and drink coffee until I feel like I can convince myself that I have a psychosomatic level of energy that has me ready to face the world. The coffee itself doesn’t actually have an affect on me anymore unless I drink it to excess, which is when you or JJ step in and start to take it away from me.’ Derek laughed freely this time.

‘Is that why you just sit there in the morning when we are on a case?’ Spencer nodded at him, smiling himself now comfortable to be sharing this with him. Emily and Rossi owed him fifty bucks each now, they were adamant that Reid didn’t notice what they were doing with his coffee intake.

Out in the hallway they said their goodnights, Derek made sure the door was locked one more time before grabbing his go bag from the sofa and shutting the door to the spare room behind him. Dropping the bag on the bed he pulled out something to sleep in and left his clothes for the day in a pile by the bed, another thing his mum would whoop his ass for doing and crawled in to bed. He listened to the sounds of Spencer moving about his room next door and the cough that was starting to sound a little alarming. When it got quiet he shuffled around under the blankets to get comfortable and drifted off to sleep.

Opening his eyes on alert, Morgan felt every muscle tense up as he pushed himself up on one arm. There was nothing right now, just the hushed silence of the world outside his window. It would have been easy to pass it off as a dream, lay down and go back to sleep but he heard it again. A pained gasp and a raspy no cried out. Pushing the covers back Morgan grabbed his gun from the night stand, holding it down in one hand while he silently opened his door.

There was a thud and he heard Spencer cry out, he made the six feet trek to Spencer’s door quickly as he raised his gun in front of him as he moved through the open doorway. A pile of books were scattered on the floor, obviously falling from the bedside table, Spencer was crying out still as he grappled against his sheets. ‘Please, don’t, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry please.’ The words were broken, Spencer’s voice throaty and painful.

Lowering his gun he put it down where the books had been and sat on the side of the bed, he placed a soft hand on Spencer’s forehead and was alarmed by how hot it was and the sweat glistening off him. A wild hand escaped the heavy blankets and Derek caught it before he got smacked in the face.

People had always told Morgan that if someone was having a nightmare you shouldn’t wake them up, and he considered just trying to sooth his friend without doing so when he saw the tears leaking from his eyes followed by a heart breaking sob and another plea.

Pushing back Spencer’s damp, tangled hair from his face, Morgan softly hushed him and called out his name. Under his hand he felt the clenched jaw relax a little, a soft hitch followed another sob. ‘Come back to me pretty boy, come on now. It’s just a nightmare.’ He whispered the words gently, close to Spence’s ear as he thrashed a little. ‘Come on kid, open your eyes for me.’

When the eyes did open, they were blank and empty for a moment. Something that scared Morgan for a moment, he hadn’t seen that look since Hankel and everything that came after that. But it didn’t take long for realisation to dawn, he wasn’t sure if it was the remanent of the nightmare or just something he couldn’t keep in but another sob followed by streaming tears. Spencer leant in to his palm as he cried, the arm Derek was holding shaking.

‘It’s okay pretty boy, you’re okay.’ The cries drifted off to sniffles and a small keening noise. ‘There’s nobody here who can hurt you, you’re okay.’ He hoped just repeating the same words over and over would have some sort of impact on his best friend, his little brother for all intents and purposes. Sniffling turned in Spencer pulling his face away to cough in to his mattress and it sounded awful.

Feeling Spencer’s forehead again he hopped off the bed with a quick ‘I’ll be back’ while he rooted through the bag of supplies Penelope had brought for Spencer. He was relieved to find the thermometer in there, he knew for a fact Spencer wouldn’t own one.

Spencer was sitting up in bed rubbing his chest when he came back to the bedroom, he was pale under the rosy fever red that flushed his cheeks. Sitting on the bed again he let Reid know what he was going to die, surprised when he just sat there without protest. Had Spencer taken more medication before they’d gone to bed, or had he forgotten to remind him after the shower incident? The thermometer beeped its urgent warning, screen red with the high reading.

It was a shocking 40.5 and even Spencer looked shocked when he read the number, they both sat there for a moment as they looked at the reading. Morgan tried his other ear and got a higher reading. He wanted to ring his mum, she knew how to handle a fever better then he did or even Hotch or JJ. They were parents and they knew every protocol for something this high, was it only kids who had febrile seizures? Did he have to worry about Spencer having a seizure?

Rushing back to the lounge room he got doses of both medicines, and put the kettle on to boil and a glass of water. Bypassing the spare room he grabbed his phone and rushed back to Spencer, giving him the tablets and the water, watching him take them without a struggle. Unlocking his phone he brought up Hotch’s eyes, feeling bad about what he was about to do. It was only half past two, and he knew the stress it would cause to ring him at this hour but he was out of options so he pressed call.

Gazing back at Reid he was concerned by the glazed look in his eyes, and the lack of fight he was exhibiting. At what point did a fever risk brain damage? Should he be calling an ambulance instead of his boss? The phone answered just before the click for a voicemail. ‘Morgan, what’s happening?’ He had been right, his boss was on immediate alert.

‘We underestimated the wrong threat,’ Morgan looked at Reid again, he was drifting back off to sleep ‘he had a nightmare and I noticed how warm he was when I touched him, so I took his temp and it’s sitting at 40.5….’ he drifted off, unsure. ‘Is it just kids and babies who have seizures from that? Do I need to be rushing him to emergency right now?’

‘Have you given him medication?’ Morgan said yes. ‘Remove all the layers between him and his skin, he can keep his underwear and one blanket. Get a face washer and make it cold, lay it on his forehead.’ Morgan nodded along even though his boss couldn’t see him. ‘He isn’t going to want any of this to happen, he will say he’s freezing cold and likely shiver but he needs to bring his core temperature down.’

‘When should I recheck it?’ Morgan asked, there was soft snoring coming from Reid now. At least one of them was getting some sleep.

‘In an hour, if it doesn’t drop below 39 with those steps taken then it will be time to attend the emergency department.’ Hotch was no nonsense as always, the calming weight he needed in his corner right now. ‘In the morning I would take him to an urgent care, they can at least do an x-ray and draw some bloods.’

‘This is Connecticut all over again isn’t it?’ Hotch groaned through the phone at the memory.

In the six months after Spencer had recovered from Anthrax he had gotten a cold, Hotch gave him the option to sit the case out but he had insisted he was fine and come along anyway. By day three he was coughing, day five he was breathless in the field and Hotch benched him to research only. Day seven they were on top of the unsub and Reid was on the floor, he had been coughing so violently he’d experienced an episode of cough syncope. After rushing him to the emergency department and disclosing his history, it turned out he had pneumonia and they had drained at least five litres of fluid from his lungs.

The team caught the bad guy, Reid spent five days inpatient with a chest drain and IV antibiotics and was benched from anything that didn’t include paper work for two weeks. There were two more episodes of pneumonia, three cases of bacterial bronchitis and a collapsed lung that had come completely out of nowhere during a team dinner on top of pleurisy that kept needing to be drained.

They’d all educated themselves on the signs to look out for, but this recent bout had crept up on them so rapidly without any warning. He’d been fine when he left work and sick the day he came back. Morgan was starting to worry this may not have been organic, especially thinking about the Anthrax. ‘Hotch, there’s no way this isn’t something organic right? Do we need to be running cultures and getting bloods done to look for something outside of the normal?’

‘You’re worried whoever is killing these men may have infected Reid with something?’ Derek said yes. ‘At the urgent care tomorrow, have them take bloods to look for anything synthetic. I highly doubt that will be the outcome, this is a man that likes to get up close and personal with his victims. Poisoning isn’t his thing. Reid simply refuses to accept that his immune system isn’t working and that his lungs are scarred, I honestly think he wouldn’t eat or drink if he didn’t someone else doing it around him.’ Derek snorted.

‘Thanks Hotch, I’ll send you a text in an hour on the situation. Sorry I woke you up for this.’ Derek apologised.

‘Don’t be stupid Morgan, I’m here for everyone at all hours.’ They said their goodbyes, and Derek turned around to face Spencer and dreaded what he was about to have to do.

Chapter Text

When he woke up, before he had even had a chance to brew some coffee or rub the sleep out of his eyes Morgan was taking his temperature which was still reading high and pushing medication on him. After he had a coffee Morgan was making one of the medicated drinks that Garcia had brought for him. When he had actually taken a moment to look at the time he nearly choked on his drink, it was after nine, they were supposed to have been at work two hours ago.

‘Relax kid, I spoke with Hotch and he has given us the morning off.’ Morgan reassured him. ‘You are under direct order to report to the nearest urgent care centre, do not pass go.’ Derek smirked at his own pun, sipping his coffee as they sat on the sofa.

‘It’s just a cold, this case is too important to be taking time off.’ Spencer protested, but Morgan just shook his head at him and told him he didn’t have a say. If he showed up to the office without seeing a doctor he would be sent straight back home, and Hotch hadn’t been joking when he said that Morgan assured him. ‘Why does everyone treat me like a child, I can take care of myself.’ Spencer huffed.

‘Keep telling yourself that kid, I’m sure Garcia could make a whole power point about how many times you’ve failed to do that.’ Spencer picked up a cushion and threw it at Derek, unamused with his opinion.

They sat in silence for a while as Derek moved through his emails and text messages from the team, Spencer probably should get his phone out and do the same, but right now the thought of unfolding himself from the couch and the blanket he’d pulled over his shoulders wasn’t that appealing. The sound of rain smacking against the windows and the whistle of the wind on the glass had him dreading going outside.

‘You know,’ Morgan started, staring at him for a moment and looking Spencer up and down ‘I don’t think I have ever seen you in a hoodie and track pants. The odd socks, yes, but the rest? No way, even during the nights on cases I’ve never seen you in less then suits and cardigans.’ Spencer looked Derek’s own casual outfit up and down and raised an eyebrow. ‘Nah I wear this between cases, and you’ve seen me a few times when you’ve come to my hotel room. But you have always been dressed in business casual.’

Furrowing his brow Spencer tried to work out if this was true, that nobody ever saw him in casual home clothes. Did the team really think he sat around the house in suit pants and sweater vests? He knew Hotch had seen him in these clothes, they’d had after dark encounters unrelated to work before. Spencer knew JJ had definitely seen him in these types of clothes when he had been baby sitting for her. ‘Does everyone think that I sleep in tie and dress shirts?’ Spencer asked, confused.

With a snort of laughter Derek shook his head. ‘You just leave a lot to the imagination, apart from Alaska we always have our own rooms and we rarely socialise overnight if we have a chance to actually get some sleep and then we don’t see each other until the morning when we are ready to head back to the station.’ That made more sense to Spencer, maybe from now on he would have to take more time to show this side of himself to the team if wearing track pants was such a shock to Derek.

They spent over three hours at the urgent care, they took bloods and imaging of his lungs and had him walk around with a pulse ox on his finger. Despite the medication his fever was still burning, his throat was raw from coughing and the doctor had made concerned noises whilst listening to his lungs. Derek had made sure he brought up his history with the Anthrax which had alarmed the doctor even more.

In the end the doctor had prescribed Spencer two inhalers, a dose of steroids and antibiotics. The doctor had insisted that if he didn’t improve within seventy-two hours or he was becoming more short of breath he had to present to the emergency room immediately. Morgan had promised he would make sure that happened, while Spencer grumbled through their wait at the pharmacy.

Rain was still coming down when they stepped from the warmth of the urgent care to the outdoor parking lot, the wind was making it come down slanted so it was hard to protect yourself against it. When they got in the car Morgan started the engine immediately, turning the heater on high and raising the heat on their seats.

Between the traffic and the weather leaving pools of water across the road they didn’t get to the office until after three, clothes slightly damp and Reid’s hair lank. Spencer made a beeline directly for Hotch’s office, knocking on the door to announce himself before entering with a small hello. Hotch looked a little surprised to see him at first, before returning his own smile and hello.

‘I have bronchitis and half a pharmacy on my desk.’ Spencer announced. ‘Have they found the new crime scene yet?’

Sitting back in his seat Aron nodded at him. ‘They found it earlier just after ten, it was another noise complaint with concern over the possibility that the neighbour had heard from screaming. They only called it in this morning because they hadn’t seen their neighbour and the same song had been playing at full volume on a loop.’

Frowning Spencer picked at his thumb nail. ‘How long were they hearing the noise before the call came in?’

Hotch sighed. ‘The music started shortly after nine, they banged on the wall a few times and someone had been screaming in response. They gave up and went to bed with ear plugs in, while they pondered over their morning why the music was still playing.’ Spencer fought the urge to roll his eyes, people were rarely predictable when it came to these types of situations.

‘Have they already gone over the crime scene?’ Spencer asked. ‘I’d like to go and take a look myself, see if there’s something there that could have been left for me or something that only I would notice.’

‘No.’ Hotch leaned forward to gain eye contact. ‘Right now you’re grounded, office work only. I can’t risk having you out in the field right now, this person is unpredictable and he is rapidly escalating. The cooling down period is getting shorter each day, he’s moved up in the game from sending you emails to mailing you body parts. I don’t want you out there right now, we can use you more here.’

Spencer wanted to protest, he wanted to say he was more then competent enough to take care of himself out in the field, and he didn’t need to be babysat like a child but the earnest concern in Hotch’s eyes had him bite his tongue. The team saw him as the child prodigy, the litter brother because he was the youngest. But it didn’t seem to matter the leaps and bounds he was taking in his field work roles.

‘When will everyone stop seeing me as a child?’ Aron and probably Rossi, were the only ones he would ever feel comfortable asking this question of. The others would fall over themselves to make him feel better while never denying the junction that he was a child. ‘I’m thirty years old, I’ve been shot, tortured and taken lives. But none of that ever seems to matter.’

‘Spencer.’ He looked up from where he was slowly picking apart his nail to look up at his boss. ‘We aren’t doing this because of your age, or your past. Emily never told us what was going on in her life, so she had to go in to witness protection. I underestimated Foyet and the impact his presence had on my life and as a result I lost Hayley, I lost Jack’s mother. Morgan has gone rogue numerous times and has faced suspensions and warnings. We want to protect you the way we couldn’t protect ourselves all those times.’

Spencer slumped in his seat, defeated.

‘People are being killed because of me, and I don’t know how I’m supposed to sit back and be okay with that. I feel like there’s so much more that I could be doing.’ A cough wracked Spencer. ‘Sitting here and doing nothing feels like a disservice to the dead.’

The words hung heavy in the air, thick in Spencer’s voice as it settled between the men.

With a sign Hotch stood up and came around his desk to stand beside Spencer, hip propped on the wood as he placed a hand on his shoulder making the younger man look up at him. ‘You know you can’t carry the guilt or the responsibility for this Spencer. Reach out, ask for help when it gets to be too much and just know Spencer, that I will always be here for you.’

‘You carry the burden of Hayley’s death everyday Aron, don’t think we don’t see it.’ Spencer replied, a sad smile on his face as they shared in the misery of everything that had been happening around them for so long now. Hotch was a stable force amongst the chaos and he respected the older man for that.

‘We carry it together, that’s why we work so well as a team, as a family.’ Around squeezed Spencer’s shoulder before moving away and settling back behind his desk. He missed the warmth immediately.

‘You won’t be kept in the dark about the crime scenes, the forensics team have photographed and filmed the entire apartment. You will be able to review the footage at your desk, it should be waiting in your inbox. The photos are hard copies. I know this may seem intrusive but we have Garcia monitoring your inbox for any new emails from the UNSUB.’ Spencer just nodded, there was nothing personal in his work emails. ‘The letter has been sent off to look for any DNA or fingerprints, if you get a new one the order is to don gloves before opening and laying out a sterile field sheet to catch anything that may come with the contents.’

It was thorough and basic procedure, Spencer would have to email someone from forensics to drop some fields off. The letters were probably going to become regular occurrences until they caught whoever was responsible for this.

‘Garcia got a hold of two of six phones and has been downloading their history all morning and going through it looking for a link, we are relying heavily on the food delivery applications to give us the information we need on the UNSUB.’ Hotch shook his mouse to wake his screen up and Spencer took that as his chance to leave, he had kept his boss distracted for too long.

Circling an item on a photograph Spencer looked up when he heard the click clack of Garcia’s heels on the floor, he had been going between her office, the conference room where his work was still laid out and his own desk all afternoon. It was well after seven now and the rain had eased up a little, the whole team was working overtime tonight. Putting the photo down Spencer hoped they would have a break in the case.

‘Don’t look at me like that.’ Spencer looked around when Penelope said that, everyone was watching her from their paperwork laden desks.

‘Sorry baby girl, what have you got?’ Morgan asked, tapping his pen against his lips.

With a small, frustrated sigh Garcia shook her head. ‘I’ve spent all afternoon delving in to the delivery driver profiles on the food app, I was so sure that the same profile would pop up in all three phones but I was wrong.’ Garcia walked over to the white board before grabbing some magnets and hanging up several profile photos of average men.

‘These men aren’t suspects, if anything they are victims for having their basic identity needs stolen. The delivery app is loose and wild, they don’t vet or confirm identity. All you need to do is provide a valid drivers license, which all of these men did. Whether they were doctored or these men had their licenses stolen I don’t know.’ She slotted licenses under the magnets for the matching men. ‘You sign up, add basic details such a mobile number and email and that’s it. You can start right away, there is absolute no moderation in this employment sector.’

‘I have traced the emails and the mobile numbers, some of the numbers are from random companies across America and the emails were all created and used that same day and had no information connected to them apart from details relating to the app.’

How long had they been relying on this information today? They were back to square one, Spencer muffled another cough and hid his annoyances behind a cup of coffee he had let go lukewarm.

Derek stood up and walked over to the white board, lifting the papers to study the faces. ‘Can you trace the email addresses?’ He asked Garcia. ‘Find out where they were when they created them?’ She groaned and shook her head.

‘No, I tried to do that but I think this was done inside his own home where he has protection and VPNs working around the clock to redirect any searches and IP addresses to hide behind. This has been my last five hours, I kept trying thinking I had to get somewhere but there was nothing.’ She scrunched her fists up and shook them with a growl. ‘I hate this guy!’

‘It’s okay baby girl, we can work our way through this.’ Derek pulled her in for a hug.

‘What about the surrounding surveillance?’ Rossi asked.

Penelope groaned louder then ever. ‘It’s still running, I’ve had to restart it a few times due to logging and adding in new footage but so far it’s only getting hits on residents coming and going by an ATM camera.’

‘Let’s leave it here for tonight, I think we have all done enough today to warrant a break.’ They all looked up at Hotch as he and JJ came out of his office. ‘Go home and get some rest, unless we get a call about another crime scene everyone can come in at nine. Spend some time with your friends and family.’

They were all dismissed, Spencer hated it. They were getting nowhere and men were still dying. If the morning came without another body being announced he would be shocked.

‘Hey kid, we have to stop by my house first.’ Derek told him.

Nodding Spencer loaded his medications and the photos in to his satchel before pulling on a coat. Maybe tonight he could have a shower without falling asleep, he just wouldn’t sit down this time.

They rode the elevator down together, Spencer stayed out of the conversation when his phone dinged in his pocket. Pulling it out of his coat pocket he looked down at it and tried to hide his groan. He had forgotten he had plans tonight. This would be the fourth time he would have to reschedule, he was surprised the man had been okay with that  but he just hadn’t questioned it. Tapping out a quick response he turned off the sound and hugged his friends goodbye.

Chapter Text

It was quiet in the office, which was unusual for the middle of the day. Apart from some phone calls and casual conversations everyone had their heads down, desks littered with paperwork and photos that Reid had selected and circled small areas on. Aron had his office door open, he could hear JJ liaising with someone on the phone and the others in the bullpen occasionally moving to Reid’s desk to ask him questions about the photographs.

The open door policy had only recently been enacted by Aron, if he wasn’t neck deep in paperwork or on a phone call or had someone in his office, he wanted his team to know that they could approach him regardless of the topic matter.

What had happened with Emily, and his own involvement with Foyet he had decided keeping secrets or shutting people out was no longer something he could tolerate. In his own way he had been approaching the team individually and starting conversations he normally avoided, opening the door per say, to give them a chance to talk about anything that was concerning them. He could have enacted extended work with the therapist the team had been seeing, but he had also read a condensed outcome that most of them were cagey and didn’t want to talk or open up to a stranger.

Aron was intimately familiar with this response, after Hayley’s death he had been a boat slowly taking on water. It hadn’t been until he had snapped at Jack over something so small and so stupid and made him cry, that he had opened his eyes and realised he had needed help. Jessica had been tantamount in helping him find someone, and then he had had to get them cleared through the office due to the circumstances of his life and now he was seeing them regularly. Once a week if a case permitted the time, or fortnightly if it didn’t.

At one point he had even done a telehealth appointment that he had instigated during a case, less then a year out from Haley’s death that involved partners being played and kept apart while the clock had ticked down towards one of their deaths. It had been too close, too soon after what had happened. Even though he had thought he was tucked away, hidden in his motel room and talking quietly over the phone when his door had opened.

Spencer had been a little shocked when the door opened and he saw Aron in there, before he looked at his key number in confusion and the number on the door. Reception had given him the wrong key, but Aron had ended his call (they were towards the end of their hour anyway) and invited the younger man in. They had both stayed up later then they should have, but Aron had been thankful for his presence and the conversation that they had shared that night.

Pushing his chair away from the desk Hotch made a rare appearance to the bullpen, needing to get out of his own head. Emily and Spencer were the only ones left in the bullpen without their own offices now, Aron made a sidenote to look in to that before moving over to them casting his eyes over the messes of their desks.

Rapidly typing on her computer Emily didn’t notice his approach, Reid was cradling a mug as he stared down at the photos in front of him, sniffling and clearing his throat. Aron hoped someone had been reminding the genius to take his medication and actually drink some water that didn’t have coffee in it. It was rare he got to see his colleagues like this up close, he normally surveyed them from his office door.

Reid still looked flushed with fever, and Hotch could tell by the hard swallows that he was trying to supress a cough. There was a bottle of cough suppressant syrup half empty on his desk, wrappers for throat lozenges and used tissues in a neat pile. If it wasn’t safer to have Spencer here in the office where they could all keep an eye on him, then he would have sent him home to get some rest. The dark circles under his bloodshot eyes were telling, and now that Aron was closer he could see that the mug contained coffee, which must have gone cold judging by the way Spencer scrunched his face up after taking a large gulp.

Using this as his chance to break in to Reid’s attention he came around the desk in a wide arc, knowing his youngest team mate didn’t like when people came up from behind him. There was a lot they were learning about each other lately, the small moments they spent alone or sought each other out. Reid had even assisted him with Jack a few times over the years, watching him while Hotch had run errands or attended to something important and Jessica wasn’t available. Jack always spoke so highly of the genius, the same way Henry did.

‘Have you found anything?’ Hotch asked, leaning a hip on the desk and folding his arms. There were more circles on some of the photos of the scene now, numbers next to them which seemed to correlate to sticky notes covering his computer screen. Aron tried to read some of them but Spencer was using short hand and none of it made sense.

Spencer put his mug aside, shaking his head. ‘I can’t pinpoint anything, I think this victim was one of the first pre-meditated murders.’ Hotch felt his eyebrows go up and he dropped his arms back down to his side, paying more attention now.

‘What makes you think that?’ He pulled some of the pictures around to have a better look at them and started to make small understandings. ‘These are things you have in your own apartment.’

With a nod Spencer sorted through the photos until he found a particular one. When he pulled it out and handed it to Hotch he didn’t know what he was looking at, at first. It was an unassuming bookcase, littered with small replicas and Lego sculptures. Spencer was more interested in things like model planes, Henry and Jack both had some in their bedrooms that he had helped them build.

‘I have at least ten of those books, I’m waiting for a more enhanced copy of the photo to make sure I’m right but the titles match.’ He pulled another photo out. ‘Garcia gave me this when she attended a con I couldn’t because of my knee.’ It was a Dr Who figurine, Hotch wasn’t familiar enough with the show to give it a name.

After Hotch had shuffled through the photos, he placed them down and looked at his younger member. This had to be difficult for Spencer to admit to, he would know the concern and anxiety over his own role in this case would be raised once it was out in the open. Reid had every reason to keep this to himself, ride it out on his own. But instead he had shared it with him, and Aron wanted to grip his shoulder and squeeze it in approval but he knew how touch averse Reid was so he kept his proud moment to himself.

‘I don’t think this death was related to the food delivery application, I think this man was stalked and had been for some time. It likely would have been through a personal connection, he would have needed to gain access to the apartment to see the relation between interests we both shared.’ Spencer grabbed some tissues and hacked in to them, Hotch winced at how wet the cough sounded. ‘Which makes me wonder whether this UNSUB has been inside my apartment at some point to know that I share some of these hobbies.’

‘You think he’s been in your apartment?’ Emily wheeled her chair over to them, joining the conversation as she flicked between photos. ‘I remember how excited Garcia was to give you that figurine, she even asked me if I wanted your ticket to the convention but I already had something on.’ She was looking down at the figurine, frowning. ‘She told me it was a limited edition item that was only being sold there, could this be the connection that you’ve been looking for all morning?’

‘It could be, if the UNSUB has left this behind then it needs to be retrieved and tested for fingerprints or DNA.’ Spencer coughed in to his tissue again before reaching for more and blowing his nose.

They’d just made a connection between the victim and Reid, sending Reid home without someone to be there with him wasn’t in the books. But Spencer looked like he was one more cough away from passing out. Beneath the fever red he was a wan, chalky white pale and the undereye circles made it look like he had been punched. He needed to rest but had nowhere to go, they couldn’t afford to lose time on this case, not if they wanted to keep Spencer safe.

Before Aron had the chance to offer up the couch in his office for Reid to have a rest on, he spotted a clerk moving towards them with a thick envelope in his hands. Hotch knew what it was before it arrived, and wished he could intercept it before Reid did but he’d noticed the way he had stiffened and turned around.

Spencer pulled open his top drawer and removed some latex gloves and a plastic packet. He put the gloves on first before opening the packet. Hotch noticed how he was moving robotically, eyes closed off despite the discomfort that showed around his mouth and the way he was gritting his teeth. Bending over he moved his face closer to Spencer’s ‘I can do this, you don’t have to open it.’ But he shook his head.

The clerk confirmed Spencer’s name and had him sign the letter off before leaving it with them, Emily was sitting straight backed as she watched Spencer carefully cut away the portion of gum that sealed the envelope in case of evidence before upturning the letter on the sterile field he had created.

An ear and two fingers slipped out with a little bloody note: ‘you did this, this is your fault.’

Aron and Emily didn’t have a chance to react before Reid was pushing away from the desk, ripping his gloves off as he rushed towards the men’s room slamming the door behind him. Emily stood up to follow but Hotch waved her down, ‘glove up and inspect the parts, make sure there isn’t another message and then have someone come down to collect them. I’ll get in touch with PD and have them ready for another call.’ She nodded, opening the drawer for gloves of her own.

Trying not to rush Aron moved towards the bathrooms, before he got a hand on the door he could hear the heaving. Aron hadn’t even seen him eat anything that day, he winced in sympathy when he was met with the sour, acidic smell of bile. Spencer was on his knees as his whole middle heaved to remove what wasn’t there to expel. He softly let him know he was there before placing a hand on his back and rubbing, he was still so warm.

When Spencer was finished they both ended up on the floor, Reid hadn’t moved to stand up and Aron hadn’t wanted to leave him down there alone. Normally they would both be more concerned about the bacteria on the floor of a mens bathroom, but it was a thought at the back of his mind for now. He didn’t take his hand off Reid’s back, continuing to rub up and down as he panted through the nausea, coughing when he drew in too deep of a breath.

‘You didn’t have to open that letter, I would have taken it to my office and dealt with it myself.’ Too little too late, he should have insisted.

‘There’s no use hiding from this.’ Spencer said softly, sweaty locks of hair sticking to his face. ‘It wasn’t the body parts, I can handle those.’ He coughed roughly, Hotch pulled his unused hanky out of his pocket and gave it to him. ‘The letter, this is all my fault and I don’t even know what I’ve done wrong to make this happen.’

Of course Reid was holding the blame to this, he was probably the most sensitive one on the team who showed hope where there was none and went above and beyond to save the people society had abandoned. Hotch had always liked that about him, he knew he went every year to help the young man trapped inside his identity disorder. He should have known this would hit home for him, no matter what he or others said to him about forgiving the guilt.

They sat in silence, sharing in the misery. Hotch moved his hand from his back to his shoulder, pulling the younger man in to his chest and just letting them both breathe in the moment and absorb the guilt they could never refuse or stop from eating them alive. Therapy, work, Jessica and Jack didn’t stop him from lying in bed at three in the morning unable to forgive himself.

Without realising how much time had passed the peace was broken when Spencer spoke.

‘I was so sure you were going to tell me the same thing everyone keeps telling me, that I can’t blame myself for this.’ Hotch huffed out a little laugh and shook his head. ‘It doesn’t matter how high my IQ is, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still human as much as I wish I wasn’t. But people are being killed because of me and their parents are out there asking why and I can’t even tell them. How are you supposed to handle that burden?’

‘You don’t, at least not alone.’ Hotch replied. ‘It will eat you alive if you don’t say it out loud and talk about it. It’s too real and too prominent to just put it in a cupboard and try to forget about it.’ Spencer hummed in to his chest, coughing a little. ‘I tried to put mine in a gun safe and forget about the code, but I couldn’t keep doing that. My fault and blame for Hayley being killed and Jack loosing his mother was ruining my life and interfering in my parenting. I had no choice.’

Despite his body heat Spencer shivered and Aron unconsciously pulled his closer, chasing the heat. ‘I can’t sleep with Morgan in the apartment.’ Spencer admitted in a rush, jumbling the words a little. ‘On the first night I had a nightmare, and now when I go to bed I can’t sleep because I don’t want to have another one in front of him. I feel vulnerable in front of him, he commented on my house clothes and now I feel naked around him if I’m not wearing a suit.’

That was a surprise.

Aron was used to seeing Spencer in casual clothes, they both shared in insomnia on cases and had spent numerous nights going between each other’s rooms and chatting about anything and everything until one of them was finally able to sleep. There had been some nights even where they had both fallen asleep in the same bed, waking up shocked to a phone alarm and confused about how they got there.

That side of Spencer was his favourite part, the Spencer without the layers and the mask. He had always looked so natural and comfortable when he was in casual pants like tracksuits and pyjamas, Hotch made sure when they shared these moments that he was always out of his own suit and dressed down. Dinner might sometimes be shared, pots of coffee or conversations. There had even been nights when Spencer had come to his room with some books and just sat there and read while Aron did paperwork.

There was a longing for that closeness when they were back home, there had been very few moments Aron had been inside Spencer’s apartment and even then only the front room, but he longed to see more.

‘I wish I could make it easier for you, but the escalation in the case means we can’t let you stay at home on your own.’ Spencer’s face moved against his chest as he nodded. ‘Do you want to come and stay with me and Jack for a few nights?’ He asked. ‘I know he would love to spend some time with you.’

With a soft sigh Spencer shook his head again. ‘I’m a walking crime scene waiting to happen, I could never bring that back to your house Aron. It’s the same reason I won’t stay with JJ and Emily has already suffered an invasion.’

Shifting Aron asked if Reid could stand up, he nodded and took Aron’s hand for help. They flushed the toilet and washed their hands, both of them trying not to think about what was probably on their clothes now as they moved out of the bathroom. Spencer moved towards his desk before Aron took his arm and led him to the landing, pushing him in to his office before shutting the door behind them.

Spencer looked confused until Aron started to remove the cushions off the couch, leaning them against the wall before moving to the closet against the wall and opening it to reveal some clothes and blankets. Aron had started to keep stuff like that here after Hayley and Jack went in to witness protection and he couldn’t bare the thought of going home to an empty apartment. He pulled out a soft sheet and laid it down before offering Spencer a pair of pants he’d likely drown in and led him to the sofa after he had changed. Under his dress shirt had been a thermal long sleeve, he had kept his odd socks on.

Once his friend was lying down, tucked in to himself he layered a few blankets over him and closed the blinds in the window and on his office door as he considered locking it. Once Spencer looked comfortable enough, he dropped a box of tissues beside his head and went back to his desk.

After half an hour of returning emails and sending out one to the team outlining what had happened today he smiled when he heard the soft wheeze of Spencer’s snoring, he looked over and was glad that his face was relaxed and no longer distressed. He stayed in his office for the rest of the day, using email to stay in touch with his team.

Knowing that the latest victim had likely been stalked and had the UNSUB in his apartment it gave Garcia something more to work with, as the other phones had been handed in they had simply come across the same issue. The same empty profiles and untraceable IP addresses for each of them. They were waiting on a response of the latest victims phone being handed in, and the possibility that the UNSUB may be logged in contacts or social media.

JJ had spent her afternoon with the local PD with his behest, alerting them to the new nature of the crime scenes and victims. Putting them on call for all welfare checks or noise complaints, instructing they all be followed up and handled appropriately. The others had been retracing footsteps and working with the witnesses from the apartment complexes, desperately trying for anything they could get.

As Spencer slept on his couch, audibly wheezing and coughing in his sleep, Aron was determined to protect the younger man. He wouldn’t let Spencer lose like he had.

Chapter Text

It had been three days since the note that came with the body parts, three days which came with more letters, more victims, more notes. There was no more talk of cooling down periods and speculation amongst the media they were dealing with a spree killer as opposed to a serial killer. Men were on the edge, if they lived in apartment buildings they weren’t ordering takeaway or opening their doors. Backs were being watched and there was a fog of anxiety over the city as the public became erratic.

There were questions about the police department and their handling of the case, of the BAU themselves for failing to catch the killer by now and letting so many innocent men die. The media was creating propaganda, talk show hosts were tracking down friends and families of victims and letting them voice their concerns on live television.

For Spencer he had stopped receiving the emails now, the only communication was the short and curt letters that came with parts of the latest victims. Hotch wasn’t letting him open them now, the team would gather and they would handle it. Reid wasn’t left out he was just removed from the process, it was apparent to everyone in the office that the letters and the blame were getting to him. There was no way to avoid it when they came the way that they did.

How do you deny blame for a murder that was sent to you through the post. It was the same clerk each day, asking him to sign and confirm his identity. They had been working around the clock to find out how these letters were getting through, the FBI were notorious for using x-ray on their received mail. Body parts would be caught straight away and wouldn’t go through a clerk. But according to the clerk it was in his inbox towards the middle of the day every day and he had never seen who it was that had placed it there.

Not even the video camera’s were of use in the mail room, the mail wasn’t being received in there and whenever they sent the envelope off for testing there would be no DNA on the gum that sealed it or foreign fingerprints.

Spencer was starting to dread going in to work, at home things were uncomfortable. There was a reason people always said not to live with your friends. Morgan wasn’t messy but he did have a habit of leaving clothes in the bathroom after taking long showers. The blender going off at five in the morning for his protein shake was getting on Reid’s nerves. Sleep was becoming a foreign object for him at night now, he had had another nightmare and Morgan had woken him from it but caused a panic attack at the same time by leaning over him and holding his arms.

They weren’t compatible as roommates, Derek really enjoyed watching sports games and the news. Things Spencer tried to avoid, if he wanted to know the news he would buy a newspaper. The mornings dishes would be left until the night times dishes were used. On top of all of that Morgan was like a nagging mother hen when it came to his health, he was on top of the antibiotics schedule and pain relief and eating was on the same schedule.

Thankfully the antibiotics were starting to do their job, the day before Garcia, JJ and Morgan had all come together to around him to question whether he needed to go back to the urgent care but thankfully Emily and Hotch had stepped in and said he was on the mend. It had also come to light that Morgan had gone behind Reid’s back and have the doctor run extra tests.

This had left him on bad terms with Hotch and Morgan for going behind his back, even though he understood why. But he wasn’t a damsel in distress who would lose their mind over the thought of their illness not being organic. The cultures and bloods had come back negative, like he knew they would; but he was still mad for a little while.

However Spencer also knew that without Hotch he would be on the floor right now. There would be no way for him to function day to day or be involved in the case if it hadn’t been for the older man. Towards the middle of the day Hotch would call him up to his office, the pyjamas and blankets would be on the sofa and the curtains would be drawn. Aron let him sleep there until they all went home sometime after seven or nine at night. Spencer didn’t know the last time he was able to get this much sleep in one sitting.

Sometimes before he slept they talked, about guilt and their burdens. Henry and Jack and the way they played together, sharing sleepovers despite it all. Did they think the secret Emily was hiding was a love interest, where did Rossi disappear to some mornings? Spencer would slowly drift off to their talks.

After the nightmare he’d had at home he’d had another on the couch, all he remembered was a hand in his and a heavy warm weight on his brow that pushed back his hair with a small murmur of reassurance, until he drifted off to more pleasant dreams. Spencer remembered thinking maybe he should tell Morgan about this, and then thinking no, definitely not.

Beginning grumbles of a storm were brewing in the dark sky when Spencer looked up, he had always enjoyed the weather and studying it. It was fascinating how truly unpredictable it was and how quickly it could change and turnaround on you. Clear blue skies could be dark grey clouds within ten minutes and there would be storms.

As he stood under cover sipping on a rare milky coffee with caramel sweetener from a takeaway cup, he was relived he had gotten back to the BAU in time. He wasn’t inside, and knew he needed to be before the storm really hit but he was content for a moment. The streets were mostly bare, bar the few stragglers trying to use their umbrellas against the wind.

For the first time in days his fever had broken, and he wasn’t dripping with sweat or freezing cold. His lungs were still congested, and he had been using his inhaler in privacy to avoid concern, he really wished his nose would stop running it was red raw and despite always dripping the skin was dry and flaky.

Hotch had joked that he was Rudolph the reindeer, appearing for an early Christmas.

A clap of thunder shook the ground and Spencer looked up in time to see a crack of lightning fork across the deep blue clouds. Rain fell heavier with hail, bouncing against the roads and footpaths that were finally empty. The wind was icy and irritating his airways but he still didn’t want to go inside, he didn’t have to look down at his watch to know what time it was. This moment of the day was built in to his system, his muscles were tight and aching with the expectation that his failure had cost another man his life.

Living with the abject horror each day that he hadn’t found a common link out of himself to this case, and had allowed for another man to have gone on and been brutally murdered, was awful. As he was grounded in the office right now he wasn’t allowed on scene, he was left with only photos and coroner reports. It was immediately obvious these men had put up a good fight, only to go on and suffer for it.

In the beginning the UNSUB had been attacking with restraint, but now there defensive wounds that were reaching bone and amputation. Bones had been broken in attacks and major organs had been fatally stabbed. There was no surviving these wounds, the last victim had been lucky to die near instantly when his jugular had been severed.

Sometimes he couldn’t stop himself thinking about his body appearing in those crime scene photos, his blood splattered over his books and soaked in to his vintage rugs or staining the original wooden floors. How would he fight, would he fight, where would he end up dying. What would they find in his autopsy, was his death going to be bleeding out from a penetrating wound. Who would they call to tell them he was dead, who would tell his mother? Thoughts he tried to avoid but really couldn’t, not for a lack of trying.

When a hand gripped his should he jumped, nearly letting his coffee go. Hotch held his hands up and apologised. Spencer put a hand on his chest and couldn’t help the cough, digging in his pocket for a tissue. He made a face at the tissue when he pulled it away, looking around for a bin.

‘Shouldn’t the antibiotics be taking care of that by now?’ Hotch asked in concern, eyeing the contents on the tissue.

‘Most people can recover from an acute episode of bronchitis in two to the three weeks, however the cough can linger for up to four to six weeks and that’s for people who are healthy and have healthy lungs. Repeated bouts of bronchitis can become chronic which is when you have to worry.’ Spencer informed Hotch, scrunching up the tissue and shoving it back in his pocket. They were both standing side by side to be sheltered from the weather, shoulders touching.

‘Has it arrived?’ Spencer assumed that was why his boss was out here; to let him know another man was dead and his body parts were waiting on his desk, but Hotch shook his head.

‘It’s been two hours, there hasn’t been anything.’ Spencer looked at him, confused. ‘I even got in touch with the mail room and they didn’t receive it. We tracked down the clerk and he was able to confirm nothing had come through his inbox tray.’

Spencer didn’t know what to say, he didn’t understand why the UNSUB would change his routine. ‘I don’t know what to feel about this.’ He scrunched his face up, thinking about what this might mean.

A warm hand pressed against his back, a comforting weight at the small of his back that Spencer tried to deny that he enjoyed. Unconsciously he settled in to the space that was created against Hotch’s side, telling himself it was just for the warmth. Together they rested like that for a moment, Spencer slowly drinking his coffee.

‘Guys!’ They sprung away from each other, turning to face Morgan who was looking at them with a wariness in eyes before studying both of their faces. ‘Garcia might have something, I figured we should all be there as a team to hear it.’

Hotch agreed as they both moved towards the doors as they crossed the rain and the storm to reach the safety of the building. It was immediately quieter and warmer when the door slammed behind them and sealed closed. Spencer missed the warmth of Hotch as they walked through the halls. Morgan led them to the conference room where the others were sitting and talking amongst one another. Garcia was in front of the screen with a remote in hand.

Once Spencer and Hotch had sat down Garcia turned the television on, facing them with hope on her face.

‘It’s been a long time coming but I think I might have something, I limited my protocols to the absolute basic of facial features in an age progression of twenty-five to thirty-five and I had hits on several men caught within a twenty kilometre radius of the crime scenes.’ Garcia clicked the remote and Spencer stared at the men on the screen, hoping that maybe he would recognise one of them but he didn’t.

‘Which I then took down further and further until I was left with two men, I have programs running through the images right now in an attempt to clean them up and reach high definition.’ Garcia clicked the remote twice more to show the grainy images of two men in different environments as they moved through the city. ‘After that I will hopefully be able to run them through the database to see if they come up and we can put a name to them.’

Still on edge about not having a parcel today Spencer focused on the grainy images, none of them were very clear but with eidetic memory he only needed the absolute basics to recognise someone. But there were no alarm bells going off for him, the same way that none had with the victims even as they progressed more and more towards a Spencer-centric victimology.

‘Well done baby girl, after this I owe you a night out and several fruity cocktails.’ Morgan got up to give her a hug.

‘Damn right you do, I don’t know the last time I went out with all my favourite darlings.’ Emily and JJ laughed while Rossi raised his bottle of water. Hotch and Spencer were the only ones who weren’t moved by the progression of the case.

There was still something going on here, killers don’t just stop cold like this unless they’ve been arrested or killed by someone else. Other times they do it as a way to promote worries and create an effect of calm over the people involved, get them to drop their defences and to make mistakes. Spencer looked to Hotch, waiting to catch his eye as the others moved around the room.

‘I know that look, what’s happening in that head of yours.’ Spencer looked up at Rossi, after all of these years the men had never moved more comfortably towards each other the way they had with the others. They were more complicit with each other’s different intelligence and approaches to work, rarely mingling too much in social settings. Spencer knew he was Aron’s close friend though, so he had always been careful with his words.

Fidgeting a little Spencer spoke up about his anxiety knowing Hotch would be listening to.

‘Serial or spree killers move up the ladder, they need more and more to keep going which in turns shortens the cooling down period. Spree killers will likely kill several people in a short window of time. There can’t be both,’ Spencer said ‘they maintain a sense of security in their own routines surrounding the murder, this helps us in the end develop a timeline that leads us to the killer.’

Hotch and Rossi were nodding along, JJ had come over too.

‘When the cooling down period ceases to exist, they escalate even further. In a case where there is a main goal to be achieved, like there is here, the loss of routine can be taken as a way to let your guard down. If they go quiet maybe we let go of our defences, I start going to crime scenes and eventually back to living on my own.’

‘His end goal is you, and we are keeping you away from him. By stopping the letters and the murders he thinks can convince us to loosen our net so he can come in and take his place.’ Rossi was nodding along with Hotch’s words. ‘What about the other options, that he has been arrested for another crime or died suddenly? Maybe the pressure of what he has been doing pushed an already unstable man over the edge towards suicide?’

This time JJ spoke. ‘Suicide is out of the question, this man has been dedicated to sending a message to Spencer. I don’t think he would give up on this, he has an end game that includes Spencer and only Spence.’

‘I agree, most obsession cases ends with one or the other dying as a result of the obsession coming to a head in a confrontation.’ Rossi explained. ‘I don’t think this is going to end until either we find this guy or Spencer does.’

‘Garcia,’ Hotch called out ‘I need you to look through recent arrests and deaths within the last forty-eight hours that fit the specs for our guy. We need to rule out reasoning for why there was no envelope today.’

‘Yes, sir!’ Garcia announced with a salute before rushing off in a whirly of pink and purple.

They all headed off in their own directions.

Spencer felt the watching eyes of Morgan as he followed Hotch up to his office. Normally in his own office when Spencer slept on the couch he hadn’t told him what he was doing. Reid didn’t want to make Morgan feel bad that he couldn’t sleep with him in the house, so he had been hiding his midday naps. If the five hours he usually slept could be classed as a nap and not a whole nights sleep.

Stripping down to his thermal and pulling the pants on while Hotch closed the blinds, Spencer said ‘I don’t think Morgan likes me spending so much time with you, that’s the third look today he’s given you for being around me.’ He sat down on the sofa, pulling his purple and green socks up.

Snorting, Hotch looked at him with humour. ‘I think he likes to believe that you belong to him sometimes, your little brother that needs protected from the big and bad.’ This time Spencer snorted and laughed. ‘If it becomes a problem I can have a word with him.’ He pulled the blankets back on sofa while Spencer laid down and got comfortable before laying them over him.

‘I’d really rather not, please.’ Spencer let a rawness in to his voice. ‘I like what we have, I don’t want anyone else ruining it.’ He felt the flush burn in his cheeks and buried his face in the pillow to hide it.

A hand ran through his hair and Spencer was definitely blushing hard now, but he didn’t pull away. ‘I like what we have to.’ He smiled in to his pillow and wriggled his long limbs around on the couch to get comfortable and fell asleep to the sounds of Hotch’s keyboard.

Chapter Text

There was something jingling and vibrating interfering with this pleasant dream, he groaned when it slipped away, and the ringing became more insistent and louder as he opened his eyes. Lifting his head from the pillow he didn’t recognise the number on the screen. Hotch pulled an arm from his blankets and picked it up, pressing accept and holding it to his ear.

‘Hotchner.’ His voice was rough with sleep.

‘Is this Aron Hotchner?’ Blinking sleep from his eyes, he pushed himself to sitting. He didn’t recognise the voice either, and was uncomfortable with the urgency in their question.

‘This is he.’ He confirmed. ‘Can I ask who is calling?’ Hotch tried to rub the drowsiness out of his eyes and turning the bedside lamp on. His alarm clock told him it was one in the morning, he had only been asleep for three hours.

‘My name is Doctor Amy Cleave’s, I work at St Paul’s Anglican Hospital in the emergency department.’ That woke him up, what had happened? ‘We have you down as the next of kin and medical emergency contact for our patient Spencer Reid, we need you to come into the hospital immediately.’

Something was ringing in his ears; he couldn’t feel his hand holding the phone and then he finally took a breath and sensation, and urgency returned to him. ‘Is he okay?’ The words were rushed, he almost didn’t want to hear the answer.

There was a pause, and he knew it was bad. ‘I can’t tell you over the phone, we really do need you to come in.’

Where the hell was Morgan? ‘Had someone else come in with him? Another man? Was he injured?’ Morgan had to be there with him, he wouldn’t have left Spencer alone. Not a chance.

‘No, I’m afraid he came in on his own. The police were only able to gain an ID recently, he was unconscious when emergency personnel arrived at his location and brought him.’ They had to have this wrong, maybe it was a situation like his when he was stabbed by Foyet and had been admitted under Morgan’s name. ‘We really need you to come in sir, this is urgent.’

‘Yes, yes I will be there as soon as I can organise a sitter for my son.’ The doctor thanked him before hanging up, he wanted to call Morgan and give him the fourth degree and ask him where the hell he had been and why he had left Reid alone. Instead, he pulled up his call list and hit Jessica’s name.

When his SIL answered the phone groggily he apologised for the early hour and explained his cause, thanking God when she said she would be there in fifteen minutes. Hotch didn’t even bother with a suit, he grabbed the track pants he had been wearing before bed, another jumper from his wardrobe and slipped on his house shoes. As soon as Jessica arrived and gave him a long, tight hug he was in the car thinking about worst case scenarios.

Aron knew that on his drive he should have called the team, hell he should have called Morgan and yelled himself hoarse. But he needed answers first, he didn’t know for sure the killer had attacked Spencer. It would be jumping the gun, maybe his chest infection had gotten worse, and he needed emergency care, but then where was Morgan in all of this?

After parking as close as he could he jogged to the entrance, rushing through the doors to the emergency department and rushing to the reception. ‘Hi, my name is Aron Hotchner, I was asked to come straight in by Doctor Amy Reeve’s.’

The receptionist typed a few things in before excusing herself and going to the nurses’ bay, when she came back, she gave him a sticker that said visitor and led him to a small lounge. Now his anxiety was mounting, if he was alive, they would be taking him to Spencer, not a lounge full of bereavement information. He paced the small space, until the door opened, and a tall, lean woman came in with a soft smile.

‘How is he?’ Hotch couldn’t help it, he needed to know before the anxiety ate him alive and he lost his temper. A temper he was still working on in therapy, that was prone to peak the more anxious he allowed himself to get.

Approaching him the doctor motioned for him to sit down, he felt his knees give away as he did.

‘Spencer is alive, he is in a very critical condition but he’s being heavily monitored right now.’ Aron felt his shoulders drop with relief; he could do critical. Critical didn’t mean dead yet. ‘We needed to bring you in to make some decisions and approvals.’ Hotch prayed the genius wasn’t brain damaged, or brain dead.

‘What can I do?’ He flexed his hand, trying to stop it from becoming a fist of tension.

‘Spencer needs extensive, significant surgery.’ Hotch felt his blood pressure plummet. ‘Spencer has internal bleeding and organ injury, it would be a multidisciplinary surgery involving GI, cardio and ortho.’ He reminded himself to breathe. ‘The reason we need consent for this is that it comes with a high mortality rate, right now we are replacing blood and fluids as quickly as we can get them in, but he is still continuing to bleed.’

There was sweat building between his shoulders.

‘What odds are we looking at?’ Hotch knew what he would say, but he wanted to know anyway.

‘Surviving the surgery?’ Aron nodded. ‘We are probably looking at a ten percent chance he will make it through. If he does make it through the odds go up a little bit, but they go day to day. Survival right now will just be down to his body, and how much it can take.’ Aron just kept nodding along. ‘If against all odds he survives the surgery and then the forty-eight hours after that he will likely remain critical for a very long time. There has been a lot of damage done here and a human being only can withstand so much.’

Aron needed to know one last thing, the only thing that could change his decision. ‘Is his brain, okay?’ Dr Reeve’s gave him a sympathetic smile.

‘Yes, the facial damage was limited to a facial bone fracture around the cheek and eye socket. Theres no bleeding or swelling on the brain, no lesions or anything like a skull fracture that would be of concern.’ Hotch felt the relief warm his blood. ‘We’ve covered all bases; we did a brief EEG and the readings are strong and promising in that regard.’

‘Please do the surgery, he wouldn’t want to be given up on.’ He nodded along with his words. ‘Spencer’s a fighter, and I know he can make it through this.’ Dr Reeve’s smiled and stood up from her perch on an armchair just as ugly and blue as the one he was sitting on. It made the room cramped and suffocating, he needed out of here.

‘I will go and have the papers sorted out and brought to you to sign.’ Before she had a chance to turn the doorknob Aron shot up.

‘Can I see him? Please?’ He looked at the bereavement posters and the doctor followed his eyes, taking pity on him.

‘You don’t get in the way, if an alarm goes off you step out and move away. If a doctor or a nurse needs to come in and do something, you move away. You are not to interfere in any way, is that understood?’ All Aron had done since coming in had been to nod, so he nodded again.

The emergency department was heaving, people were on trolleys in the hallways and in the bays. Nurses and doctors were rushing around orderlies and visitors. They approached double swinging doors, labelled TRAUMA and Hotch moved through them behind the doctor as his eyes searched for that face that he had only seen hours prior and who had been perfectly fine except for the bronchitis.

Doctor Amy stopped at the end of a bed and Aron was confused, this couldn’t be Spencer. Moving closer though he recognised the golden brunette hair and the sharp cheekbones and jaw. One side of his face was bruised and swollen along with his lips around the breathing tube, blood was matted in his hair. On his neck was a tight compression stained with blood, his naked chest was swathed in dressings in and around the ECG dots.

Blood and fluids were running, two at a time. The numbers on the monitor didn’t seem to be accepting the assistance of them, blood pressure low and heart rate high and irregular. Hotch navigated the wires and tubes and pulled the seat pushed to the back of the bed around and sat down at his side. He was going to take Spencer’s hand, but it was in a thick splint, the tips of his fingers bloody. There was so much blood on his friend that he wanted to ask for warm water and a cloth, he knew Spencer would hate it. He needed a shirt or a jumper, having his thin chest exposed made him insecure.

Hotch knew he was spiralling; he was being professional, and he wasn’t doing all of the things that he needed to be doing. The team need to be called; Spencer’s apartment needed to be transferred over to the FBI as a crime scene. Morgan needed to be punched in the face and made to admit his failings for leaving Spencer alone. None of this should have ever happened.

Rubbing Spencer’s upper arm Hotch didn’t realise he was disassociating until the doctor placed a hand on his arm, papers in her hands. ‘Are you holding up, okay?’ She asked, she squatted down in front of him and took his spare hand. ‘This is a hard process, is there someone who can be there for you?’

‘I’ll call them when Spence goes in for surgery, a lot has to happen now, and I am just not ready for that right now.’ Amy smiled softly, nodding.

‘Does Spencer have any family?’ Hotch winced, who was going to talk to Diane?

‘Ah his mother, she’s in Las Vegas.’ The hand in his squeezed again.

‘I know these are things we don’t want to address when a loved one is in this position, but I can organise someone to call his mother on your behalf if you’d like?’ Hotch wished he could say yes to that, take the load off his shoulders but he knew it would be better coming from someone on the team. Likely he would have JJ make the call.

‘No, it’s okay, thank you. Unfortunately, she’s in an institute for paranoid schizophrenia and it would be better to come from me.’ The doctor squeezed his hand and gave him a pen as they worked through the paperwork, he was told an orderly and some doctors and nurses would be here to take Spencer shortly.

Spencer would be in surgery for at most, twelve hours and would then be moved to the ICU. There was a small room for family outside the surgical ward where Hotch could sit and receive updates as he waited. When they came for Spencer, he allowed himself a moment comfort and placed a soft kiss on a blood free area on his forehead, brushing his hair back.

Taking the steps up to the waiting room, Aron stopped halfway before sliding down the wall and letting a few tears fall numbly. He didn’t know how long he sat there like that, but he eventually got up and headed for the waiting room. It was a much nicer one compared to the emergency department. Sitting down on a chair he pulled his phone out.

First thing he did was message Jessica asking her to take Jack to school that morning and potentially pick him up and spend another night with him. Second, he called JJ, she deserved to be the one informed first.

‘Is there another crime scene?’ The sleepy voice answered, he could hear Will in the background.

‘There’s no easy way to say this,’ he heard a soft no ‘Spencer is in the hospital, they’ve just taken him for emergency surgery.’ There was a soft, raspy sob. ‘I’m here now, they needed me to sign the papers. I need you to liaise between the PD and FBI regarding Spencer’s apartment being a crime scene.’

There was a short silence before JJ asked the obvious. ‘Is Morgan being treated?’

That was a phone call he was looking forward to. ‘No, I don’t know where he is right now, but I will call him shortly. I need a favour from you though.’

‘Anything.’ JJ said, grief in her voice.

‘The doctors have recommended we get in touch with Diane, just in case.’ He felt selfish not making the call himself.

‘How bad are we talking here?’ JJ asked. ‘Injury wise, is he going to die?’ Aron didn’t know how honest to be here, he needed the team to be together to catch whoever had done this. ‘Hotch.’ JJ was Spencer’s best friend though, the god father of her son.

‘Making it past the next two days has a ten percent chance, I had to sign papers for the surgery because the mortality rate is so high.’ JJ was sobbing, he could hear Will in the background asking her what was happening.

‘Aron?’ Will’s southern drawl came over the phone.

‘Spencer has been attacked, he’s in surgery with a low survival rate.’ Saying it over and over just made it harder not easier. ‘Tell JJ she can work from here, I’m on level five in the family waiting room outside the theatre doors.

Now he didn’t know whether to ring Rossi or bite the bullet on his rage against Morgan. He hit call on the contact and brought his phone to his ear.

‘Did Reid call you?’ Hotch hadn’t been expecting that answer from the phone call, he had expected it to ring out subconsciously, not fully committed to accepting Morgan had left the apartment. ‘I was just gonna let you know in the morning.’

‘Let me know what?’ His voice was cold, emotionless.

‘My house got broken in to, completely trashed. My security company rang me, and I’ve been out here since eleven working with the cops, just in case it was linked to the case.’ Morgan explained.

‘You left the apartment?’ Aron kept the questions evasive, seeing how far Morgan was going to go with this without noticing that something was wrong. That he had inevitably messed up in a major way, but Hotch wanted to hear his version of the circumstances before he told him what had happened.

‘Thought I’d be out here doing a check and an okay and going straight back.’ Morgan answered. ‘Didn’t expect to be out here so long, but the kid was asleep when I left, and I didn’t want to wake him up to drag him half away across the city for a five-minute check. Figured if he woke up and realised, I wasn’t there he would ring me.’ Hotch didn’t respond as he felt his teeth grind. As soon as it had become apparent that he was going to be out there for longer then expected he should have made a phone call to one of them to take his place. ‘What’s happened, another crime scene?’

‘Yeah, there is,’ Hotch played along ‘another apartment with no security and a walk up. The attack was unexpected, but the victim survived long enough to call 911 and get to the hospital. They’re undergoing emergency surgery right now but there’s a chance he won’t make it.’

‘I’m about to finish here, I’ll head back to Reid’s, and we can come in.’ Morgan said something to someone off speaker. ‘Give us half an hour.’

‘Good I can stand JJ down from the crime scene, you can head there and work with the local PD.’ There was no hiding the malice in his words now, and Morgan had sensed it and sounded a little unsure when he responded.

‘I thought Reid was grounded, no crime scenes till this were over?’ There was apprehension in Morgan’s voice now. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’ it was a demand more then a question, a right Aron didn’t think he had right now.

Letting Morgan stew in the silence for a moment, Aron felt like he couldn’t hold back any longer.

‘You dropped the ball Morgan, and now Reid’s playing the price for the decisions you’ve made tonight. Your first mistake was not waking him up to go with you, the second was to not send one of us over there in your place. You knew he wasn’t supposed to be on his own.’ Aron couldn’t keep the acidity out of his voice. ‘Do you think I wanted to be woken up at one in the morning to be told I needed to come in immediately, in order to sign paperwork approving a surgery my friend might not survive?’ He tried to make an effort to lower his voice. ‘You didn’t want to wake him up Derek, you went rogue and you messed up in a big way and you better Spencer comes through this.’

For a minute there was only silence as the full impact of what Hotch had basically yelled down the phone, kicked in.

‘It’s basic training Morgan, he called you away hoping you’d respond, and you did. We were just talking possibilities last night before we all left for the night, getting Spencer alone somehow was one of them.’

‘He was watching him.’ Morgan said, dread and realisation in his voice.

Aron didn’t want to respond, give Morgan the pity he wanted for falling such a simple trick. It was a common trick, and it often ended in murder or assault. There was no coming back from this, Aron wouldn’t let him.

‘If he doesn’t pull through Morgan.’ He left the threat open ended.

They ended the call like that, and Aron moved through the contact list to call the others. Right now, the only person he was allowing at the hospital with him was JJ, he knew he should be at work leading the assignment himself, but he was rooted to this seat. Thoughts of Spencer waking up, not finding Morgan in the spare bedroom and responding to a knock on the door by himself, it was almost too much.

For all the years Morgan had played saviour and protector of Spencer and this is the one time he let him down, left him there to face something he shouldn’t have had to, alone. The fear and the pain he must have felt. For the investigation they were going to need an extensive list of injuries Spencer had sustained, though they all already know from the coroners reports on the victims before him.

Leaning his head against the wall Aron closed his eyes, using the techniques his therapist had given him to help him relax his muscles and stave off the panic attack that had been threatening him since his phone rang four hours ago.

Chapter Text

‘I thought Spencer had someone from the team staying with him?’ There was confusing in her husband’s voice as she pulled the jumper over her head. ‘Didn’t you say Morgan was with him?’

Sighing JJ nodded her head as she pulled a brush through her hair before pulling it into a ponytail. ‘Hotch wasn’t specific, I won’t know what has happened until I get there, and he fills me in. Right now, the rest of the team has been scattered to start working this now and find out what happened.’

Choosing a pair of runners, she sat on the bed as she slipped them on, wishing none of this was happening and she was slipping herself back between the blankets with her husband. She wanted Will with her at the hospital, she had thought of getting in touch with Jessica to ask whether she could manage Henry as well before realising that was unfair. Will would be able to come in the morning, after Henry was at kindergarten.

Will hugged JJ tight, kissing her on the forehead and asking her to call or message when she knew more. After agreeing she grabbed her bag and car keys and entered the quiet streets, there was very little traffic to manage. The silence and the empty streets left her brain open to suggestion, and she was torn over the idea that Spence might not make it, the urgency in Aron’s voice and the need to get a hold of Diane to organise having her come down. And where was Morgan? The older man was supposed to be in the apartment, had he been lured out and injured?

The drive had taken less then twenty minutes, finding a park even quicker. Middle of the night left many open spaces, which also meant a dark and unlit walk to the entrance. JJ regretted leaving her gun at home, but she doubted the hospital would be impressed if she had it on her way. Pressing the buzzer beside a small manual door, JJ held her FBI identity badge in front of the small camera and announced who she was and why she was here. In five minutes, there was a security guard approaching the door, she looked tired and complacent to let her in despite the hour of the morning.

‘Do you know where to go?’ The security officer asked, yawning.

‘Yeah, thank you.’ JJ took off towards the elevators, her heart was racing now. In the car and on the streets it wasn’t real. JJ could pretend that she was being called in for something else, another crime scene of a man she didn’t know and whom she could detach from. Anyone but Spencer, she wanted it to be anyone but him.

When the doors opened on the right hall she followed placards on the walls to the family lounge, there was a small glass window in the door and JJ took a moment to study her friend and boss. They weren’t meant to profile each other, but JJ couldn’t help herself right now; she just needed to know what she was walking in on and judging by the tense line of his shoulders and the severity of his jaw- it wasn’t good news.

Knocking she let herself in, Hotch stood to greet her, and they embraced each other tightly. There was a desperation in the way Hotch was gripping her, the tension in his muscles and the slight quiver in his arms. JJ didn’t want to ask; she didn’t want to know if Spencer had died in surgery, and she had been to slow in getting here.

They both sat down, neither of them had broken the silence yet as the heavy thickness in the small room suffocated her. JJ wanted Will and Henry, she needed them to be here so that they could all cheer Spence on and help her pretend this was just something minor and everyone was overreacting.

Aron broke the silence first.

‘Just after my call to you, a nurse came in with an update. She told me he was fighting hard and said she would come and speak to me every two hours.’ Hotch’s voice was flat, almost monotone but there was more emotion in how he was clenching his fists as he bent over his knees with elbows digging into his thighs.

‘I don’t understand what happened.’ JJ admitted, she wanted to take the words back. She didn’t think she was ready to know, to admit this was serious and give herself in to the anxiety and the fear that was curdling her stomach. ‘Where was Morgan?’

Unclenching his fists Hotch dragged his hands over his face with a sigh. ‘Morgan failed basic tactics; he forgot the first rule that the suspect will try to isolate the victim from their protective detail.’ Hotch pulled a hand through salt and pepper hair. ‘The security team who maintains his properties called him about the alarm being sounded, Derek didn’t want to wake Spencer up in case it was nothing.’ The admission felt heavy around them. ‘Despite spending the most time with Spencer outside of the office, Morgan failed to notice Spence was being watched. We all did, and now Morgan’s fallen for the simplest trick and here we are.’

The weight of those words rested on JJ’s chest, catching her breath in her throat and making her pale as she took them on board and realised how much this case had been poorly managed. Spencer must have known there was a likelihood he was being followed, having stayed well away from her and Hotch’s houses to protect the children. They had all made assumptions, assumed for the best rather than the worst.

Grounding Spencer to the office and his apartment only was too lenient, they should have all insisted on more being done and putting more effort in place to protect Spencer however they could. But then Spencer already felt the child of the team, and he was always expressing to JJ how much he hated the way he was babied. All they had done was all they could have done; they were lucky Spencer had even accepted that he was paperwork only and hadn’t put up more fuss with the limited capacity of his work.

While her untouched anger at Morgan simmered away in the background, JJ tried to come to terms with what Hotch was telling her and how low the chances of survival were for Spence even if he made it through the surgery. They were talking permanent injury, the chance of changing his life completely. How Aron had needed to make sure Spencer was neurologically intact, knowing that if he was impacted in that way, he would rather be dead.

JJ pulled Aron into another hug; he had been the one who had to make all the hard decisions here. The choice between keeping Spencer alive or withdrawing life support. Being the first one to know Morgan had betrayed all their trust, still managed the case and placing them where they all needed to be for maximum effort right now. Bring a hand up JJ let her fingers spider out in his hair, keeping his face against her shoulder.

It was subtle at first, but it was there. Small shudders and little gasps and the weight of her friend collapsing the weight of his head against her. After a moment JJ let herself start to cry as well, this wasn’t somewhere they had expected to find themselves again. Haley had devastated Aron, torn him down and left them there to build him up again day by day. They had gotten through the death as a team, both in and out of office. JJ knew that Spencer had spent a decent amount of time baby sitting Jack, sometimes ever Henry.

They were all going to have to do it again, pool together their love and support to help hold up Spencer.

When Aron pulled away JJ grabbed the tissue box from the other side of the room, they joked about not telling anyone about this before they settled side by side on the sofa with shoulders touching for support.

‘I was so close to Hayley,’ Hotch said quietly ‘and still couldn’t get there in time but she had me on the phone and we got to tell each other what we needed to. We were strong for each other.’ He looked down at the tissue in his hand. ‘Spencer would have been alone; he would have woken up and gone to look Morgan and realised he wasn’t there.’

It was a cold thought that knotted JJ’s stomach in anger towards Derek.

‘It’s like Hankel all over again,’ JJ admitted ‘but this time we don’t need the video footage when we’ve seen the autopsies and the crime scenes. We know what Spencer must have gone through.’

‘And he was alone, again, like he has been so many times.’ There was true exhaustion in Aron’s voice now, her phone said it was five in the morning. JJ didn’t know how long Hotch had been here at the hospital. She reached over and took his hand.

‘We just make sure that when he comes through this, because I refuse to consider that he won’t- Spence is too strong and wouldn’t be taken down this easily, that we are there for him through his recovery.’ Hotch looked up from his other hand, looking defeated. ‘We have to be there; we can’t leave him to go through this on his own.’

All JJ got in response was a soft smile and a squeeze of her hand, but right now that was enough for her. They sat in silence until there was a knock at the door around six-thirty and a nurse popped her head in.

‘Things are still going well; the majority of the blood loss has been stopped. We’ll continue replenishing his levels, the cardiothoracic surgeon has done his part and ortho are just finishing up on the leg now. If you could just hang tight for a little while longer, I should be able to give you an estimate on when they will be finished.’

After Hotch had said thank you and slumped back against the couch, JJ couldn’t get the echo of hearing cardiothoracic out of her head. Aron had told her it was serious, but they hadn’t given him a rundown of every injury. But hearing those words was terrifying and scenarios were bouncing around her thoughts over what could have happened. But there was something else that had been niggling at her, like someone who had whispered in ear.

‘How did Spence survive the attack?’ JJ asked abruptly, catching hold of the silent question. ‘None of the other victims survived the attack, the likelihood that the killer had left Spence alive is minimal. The method of attack and murder increased from victim to victim, they were practice samples. This guy was honing his approach.’

‘The first set of victims were slow; the deaths took longer compared to the recent victim whose jugular was severed early on.’ Hotch said.

‘There was never any evidence that he hung around while they died, which means when he left, they were dead.’ Hotch’s brow furrowed in thought.

‘What are we missing?’ JJ asked.

A phone chirped; they both pulled their phones out. JJs didn’t have any notifications, Hotch was typing back to a message on his. It was after seven now, standing up JJ stretched out her back and arms. She hadn’t been awake as long as Hotch had, she figured by now the cafeteria would be open within the hospital. Coffee and breakfast were much needed, she wasn’t going to let her boss forget about his own needs while they waited this out.

After telling Aron where she was going, she hopped in the elevator and read the directory on the wall and hit the number that she needed. The elevator only picked up a few staff before she got out, moving towards the cafeteria she inhaled the smell of burnt bitter coffee. It was better then nothing.

Moving out of the walkway JJ pulled out her own phone, she needed to fill Will in on what was happening and talk to Henry before he went to kinder. It was going to be a very long day, and she needed all the boosts she could get from the voices of her family.

Chapter Text

JJ hadn’t even been gone for ten minutes when there was another knock on the door before it was being pushed open, a middled aged man in a suit moved towards him with a handout. Hotch stood up and returned the shake as the man introduced himself. ‘Detective Andy Mass, I take it you are SSA Aron Hotchner?’

‘Yes I am.’ They sat across from each other as the detective opened the file in his hand, and the pen from his pocket. ‘Are you the detective who has been assigned to Reid’s case?’

With a nod, Andy pulled a sheet of paper from the file and handed it to Aron. It was a printout of the crime scene; it wasn’t hard to guess this was where Spencer had been left. The large pool of blood on the hardwood floors and the medical detritus gave it away, he could see where his younger friend had been laying. ‘Was there any sign of forced entry?’ He knew the answer, but he still needed to be thorough.

Andy shook his head. ‘The door was completely undamaged, no signs of tampering in the locks either. Though judging by the locks on the inside I doubt the door would have been kicked or smashed open.’ It still wasn’t easy knowing Spencer had opened the door himself. ‘Door was closed but unlocked when emergency personnel arrived on scene.’

‘Did police attend the property on the merit of a noise complaint?’ It was bothering Hotch that he didn’t know how Spencer had received care, it didn’t seem viable that the UNSUB would inflict these injuries only to call for assistance.

‘Spencer Reid was able to make the call himself, we have put in a warrant for the call to 911 but the call taker has let us know that he was unable to talk and relied on pushing buttons on his phone. They were able to trace the call and sent EMS and police. The police were first on scene within five minutes, they assisted in stemming bleeding before advance care paramedics arrived.’ Hotch was thankful the detective was approaching the retelling this way, removing emotion from the scene.

‘Was he able to make an ID before losing consciousness?’ If he couldn’t talk to 911 it was unlikely, but Hotch had to follow every possible lead.

‘It was relayed later that he was unable to talk due to having his throat cut, the paramedics permitted to an interview and stated the windpipe had been cut in the attack. They struggled after the event of a cardiac arrest to intubate.’ Mass looked bothered by this, and Hotch could only commiserate. It’s one thing to be on the scene, but another to look back and read about it.

‘Was there anything found in the apartment?’ Aron asked. ‘This case has heavily related to Spencer, there have been emails and body parts with notes sent to him at the FBI office over the last week.’ The detective looked a little shocked by this admission. ‘We have been working with local PD surrounding this case, we were brought in when the cases were continuing and there was talk of a spree or serial killer.’

‘No, I haven’t been briefed on this, when I get back to the station, I’ll get involved with the team handling this. Had there been any threats on Spencer’s life in these letters?’ Aron shook his head. ‘No warnings that he was going to be next?’

‘We had nothing, it simply started as emails with deliberate effort put in to misspelling words and baiting him, before it swapped to parcels containing body parts of victims we hadn’t been alerted to yet.’ Hotch looked down at the paper still in his hands. ‘We were unaware of how the parcels were getting through the screening process at the office, but there were no leads.’

Nodding his head detective Moss shuffled through the papers before locating it, leaving his fingers between the pages. ‘Has there been any ability to identify this individual? DNA left at scenes, fingerprints?’

This was something he could happily answer. ‘We have a brilliant technical analysis who has been using footage within a certain radius of the crime scene to triangulate a repeated appearance of the same person in each area. Through this we have been able to narrow down the pool to a select few.’ Andy was nodding along. ‘Right now, she is pushing the images through a program to try and clean the images up, once that is done, she will put them through the system to see if they find a match.’

‘Sounds like someone we need at our office.’ The detective joked. ‘We may have something that can improve your chances here, I’m going to have this forwarded to your team when I get back to the office.’ Aron perked up as Andy pulled a sheet of paper out. It was another photograph; Aron felt his heart skip a beat.

‘Is that?’ He asked, almost breathless.

‘Looks like your kid fought back, we have analysts tracing it now but there’s a noticeable trail running from the doorway and lounge room to the kitchen sink. There are some partial prints on the taps, he likely had to take a glove off to clean a wound or stop something bleeding.’ Hotch stared down at the blood in Reid’s sink, blood that wasn’t his. Spencer had probably known he wouldn’t make it through this, and he had done his best to make the other person bleed.

This gave Hotch the first glimmer of hope he had had since getting that phone call at one in the morning, they were close to narrowing down on the man responsible for all this mess. It made him feel very aware that he should be in the office right now, controlling what needed to be done and who needed to be where. But he couldn’t stand up from the couch that was hurting his back, his left foot was numb, and his mouth was dry, but he was glued to this spot staring at that photo.

How was he supposed to get up and be the team leader he needed to be and leave Spencer here alone; he was his medical proxy, and he was using that as his excuse to stay sitting right here for the time being.

‘There’s something I need to put by you first,’ Detective Mass asked, ‘CSU has removed several items from the apartment, things that could indicate what may have led or contributed to this.’ Mass cleared his throat. ‘There are journals and a mobile phone, some patrol men and crime scene techs had flicked through them. Do you want PD to maintain these items as evidence or do you want them sent to your own office? I know it wouldn’t be easy going through a colleague’s belongings and there may be some concern of overstepping a personal barrier.’

Thrown by this, Aron didn’t know how to answer at first.

The knee jerk reaction was to say no, Spencer wouldn’t want anyone looking at these items- especially not virtual strangers who had no right putting their noses there; but then he also knew Spencer would hate the idea of anyone on the team reading his journals. Maybe he could maintain the chain of evidence with his phone and leave the journals for the detectives. He was torn either way, it took him a moment to really think on his answer. He wished JJ was here to help him decide.

‘Have the phone transferred over to Penelope Garcia, she will run the base on any electronics.’ Hotch swallowed thickly. ‘Could you have an officer bring the journals into me?’ He was ready to hear a resounding no, but it never came. ‘I don’t think Reid would appreciate anyone else reading them, so I will handle that when the time comes.’

‘I respect that decision; I wouldn’t appreciate knowing people had been through my personal belongings while I wasn’t dead.’ Hotch nodded in agreement. ‘The only other thing I need to clear up with you here, is there a correlation between a house invasion and the attack on Spencer Reid? There’s been chatter between officers and those on scene about them being connected.’

Hotch needed to tense and untense his muscles, loosen the fists between his knees and take a measured breath. This was no time to throw Morgan to the wolves, it was going to be hard enough maintaining a level head when he informed the team of what had happened. Hotch knew they wouldn’t believe him at first, they would need to get it straight from Morgan and then it would go on from there. ‘Derek Morgan, another member of my team at the BAU.’

‘What role does he play in this?’ Mass asked, pen poised on his notebook.

‘Once the body parts became a daily occurrence, we made the decision that Spencer would not go back or stay at his apartment alone. We didn’t think he was in danger; this man seems to have purely just wanted his attention, but we didn’t want to take risks. Two of us have young children, the other two options aren’t people he has built a significant relationship with, so Morgan put his hand up.’ Hotch was regretting not leaving Jack with Jessica to stay with his friend. ‘Morgan has been staying at Reid’s apartment for the week, however last night he received a phone call from the security company he uses for home security rang and said he needed to attend. Morgan assumed he would be there and back quickly, but it didn’t work that way, he was away for several hours.’

‘The home invasion was likely to be a ruse to get Morgan out of the house, it’s apparent now that the team has likely been followed on several occasions. There’s no other way they would know private addresses, or that Morgan had left the house that night.’

‘You mentioned that you didn’t think Spencer Reid was a target, what led you to believe that he wasn’t in danger? I watched the news release he did several days ago; he obviously said some things that were likely to upset the UNSUB.’ Mass asked, scrawling something messily on his notepad.

‘None of the emails, photos, or notes that were received with the body parts indicated in any way that this man had Spencer as his end game. I wouldn’t call this a classic stalking case, at least not in the beginning of the case, in the sense that this man wanted to meet or interact with Reid. Attention and acknowledgement seemed to be the only thing he wanted, he wanted Reid to take on the case and find him.’ Mass was nodding along with his words. ‘Until last night that was the basis we were working on, the murders had appeared to reach a peak in severity, and we were whittling away at the suspect pool. All we needed was an ID or for them to make a mistake, they were frenzied and had removed the cooling off period, and it was only a matter of time until we found this man and he got his award: Spencer. The assumption had been based on the merit that the man wanted to be caught, and in that thread to have Spencer interview and interrogate. Maybe a few mind games and some cat and mouse.’

Mass sat back and glanced over his notes, Aron was only just noticing that his throat was so dry, and he was eager for JJ to come back from the cafeteria. ‘So, what happened yesterday? Why did the game change so suddenly?’ Hotch wished he had an answer.

‘Most of these murders have appeared as a moment of opportunity, yesterday he may have staged the emergency with Morgan’s home to see what the reaction would be. Morgan left, and so a crime of opportunity had arisen again. Suddenly Reid was in the apartment on his own, he had his chance.’ Hotch couldn’t believe this had been anything else, there would have been more signs and warning. There was no way the UNSUB would have been able to control themselves if they were working towards this, but his plan had worked, and they had poor impulse control.

Detective Mass stood up with a groan, Aron almost mirrored him.

‘I will have an officer bring the journals into you, and the phone sent to Miss Garcia. If we get an ID on the DNA, you will be the first person that I call, I’ll team up with those handling this and get myself up to speed.’ They shook hands again. ‘I hope your man pulls through; it’s never easy losing one of your own.’

JJ came back with food and coffee; Hotch welcomed the smell of caffeine. Hotch pulled out his phone, accepting one of the large coffees that JJ handed off to him and the breakfast sandwich she put on his lap. This should be a phone call but instead he texted the details of the detective to David and let him know about the advances that had been made.

For now, he drank his coffee and ate his sandwich with JJ while they waited for the nurse to come back, he refused to believe anything but Spencer’s survival. Not when they were so close to finding who had done this to him in the first place.

Chapter Text

It had been all engines go since Rossi had called in the middle of the night, Emily had been fielding phone calls and going through crime scene photos as they arrived in her email box. Garcia had been at her desk on and off until a police officer had arrived with Spencer’s phone. Garcia had been distraught, there was no make up and no bright coloured clothes. Her only splash of vibrance was an insulated coffee cup.

What little Rossi had shared had shaken the women, they didn’t have the full story at that point and were just working on the basics that Spencer had been attacked by their UNSUB and they didn’t know whether he would make it through the surgery let alone the next twenty-four hours. They came together in their shock and their upset, and they leaned on each other where they needed it.  

They all had questions, so many of them. Emily was only getting answers as she scrolled through the photos, full 4K resolution of knocked over objects and more blood then should be possible. Emily hadn’t ever been at Spencer’s house before; they weren’t close, and it was the same with Rossi. But underneath the signs of a crime scene she could see Spencer written all over the open living space in the bookcases and the deep amber woods and reds. One day Emily wanted to see it without the blood, things in their place and organised and the sharp aroma of coffee beans over the tang of iron.

Thankfully they were getting something out of this, the one and only lead they had managed to pick up at this point and Spencer had done the hard yards to get it. There was a well captured trail of blood, thin droplets compared to the pooling gush of Spencer’s- leading towards the kitchen sink where they found more and bloody fingerprints on the tap. Their man had taken off his gloves, left his DNA behind.

What they didn’t know however is how Spencer managed to make it as far as surgery where his life hung in the balance. This man had brutalised their friend, and the other men he had killed left behind the notion that Spencer shouldn’t be alive at all, nor access to his phone to call emergency services. Hotch didn’t know so either did Rossi who was funnelling information to her as it came to him.

The only other question she had was where was Morgan? Right now, and at Spencer’s apartment? His absence in the office was like a hole, his bright vibrant personality and brotherhood with Spencer had her wondering what had happened and she was frustrated that she was being left out of the loop on this. Even JJ had been radio silent at the hospital with Hotch.

There were so many questions and yet now answers.

A message flashed across her computer screen, the fingerprints hadn’t returned a match on the system, so whoever was responsible for these murders was either a first time criminal or they were awfully good at keeping things clean and innocuous. Results hadn’t returned for the blood though.

‘Emily!’ Penelope was rushing towards her, faster today without the pressure of breaking a stiletto. There was a phone and a tablet in her hand, she looked both hopeful and confused as she grabbed a chair and wheeled towards Emily.

‘Okay so! One- I think I’ve found something and two; I don’t feel like it’s my place to unearth what I’ve found.’ Emily frowned at her animated friend. ‘Hotch made sure I had Spencer’s phone so someone he didn’t know wasn’t going through his things, but I found something that I don’t think Spencer will want shared with everybody and I don’t know what to do.’

Garcia was clutching the devices against her front, not willing to show Emily until someone told her it was okay. ‘Alright-,’ Emily held up a hand ‘is it drug related?’ Garcia vehemently shook her head. ‘Is it about his mum?’ Another shake. ‘Mental health?’ Blonde hair flew. ‘Relationship?’ Emily didn’t know what else to ask.

‘Bingo!’ Garcia still didn’t relent on her grip against the devices.

‘Is it with someone inside the office?’ Garcia shook her head again. ‘Okay, I think it is okay that we know.’ Garcia bit her lip. ‘Tell me, and I will call Hotch and explain what we found, and how to go about this. How does that sound?’

A tablet was thrust out at her and for a minute Emily was confused by what she was looking at, her brain not connecting the dots for a moment until it was like a light came on. The screen was filled by a dating profile, there was a profile photo of a stack of books and a username, and she noticed Spencer’s age and sexuality and then she looked again. Sexuality.

Spencer was gay.

Emily looked back again, rereading the word bisexual. The about me was short and simple, and again, was a shock to her. “Looking for a few fun nights, nothing serious just to have a play.” The words echoed in her brain before she looked up at Garcia, a look that said I “I told you so!”  on her face. Where did she go with this?

Next to the profile there was an inbox, which was even more of a shock to see how many messages there were dating back several months. The most recent one was for a man named unforgettable69, she clicked in and scrolled to the top. First the messages started well, they seemed to share some of the same interests and began discussing meeting up however their jobs seemed to match the same at the last-minute requirement and the rest of the messages shared after that was just the man trying to arrange for another date. But Spencer either hasn’t responded or been unavailable, the latest attempt was within the last week.

This was what they needed; this man could be the one they are looking for. He was incessant and obsessive, and the murders matched up with the most recent attempts to meet up for a date despite Spencer making it clear they wouldn’t be advancing.

‘We can’t keep this quiet Garcia, you’re right that you’ve found something and that you want to protect Spencer, but this could be what we need.’ Garcia was pouting. ‘I’m sorry, but we need to find out who this guy is.’

Groaning Garcia sagged in her chair. ‘I already have my computer working on locating him, I just feel awful.’ She looked down at Spencer’s phone. ‘So much has already happened to boy genius and I don’t want to flash this all over the teams’ screens when he can’t defend himself.’

It was a fair point, and Emily understood. There were things she didn’t want her colleagues knowing about her private life, and she wouldn’t be impressed if someone did find out something and go on to leak it to the whole department. All of them went to great lengths to protect their private lives, they never came out with their secrets until they were ready to. The same way JJ had kept her relationship with Will a secret, Hotch that he and Hailey had divorced.

Privacy was something they all desired and strived for. When Spencer was better and came back to the office, he would be pissed to find out this much about him had been released.

If Spencer made it back.

Something flashed on the tablets screen, Garcia perked up and snatched it off her.

‘I’ve got something,’ her fingers were flying over the touch screen ‘I need to use your computer.’ She shooed her hands until Emily pushed her chair back and Garcia moved in. ‘I have an IP address here; it’s showing that it’s within a local destination, so I am just running some of the numbers.’ Emily was always impressed with how fast Garcia worked on a keyboard while pulling up different screens.

‘I recognise this address; the numbers 3215 have been coming up when I try to track the emails being sent to Spence.’ Garcia didn’t pull her gaze away from the screen. ‘Looking at local internet providers, tracing device information.’ Code was running across the screen at high speed, Emily was well out of her depth with this and sat back to watch the magic happen. ‘I have an address!!!’ Garcia squealed, throwing her hands up before focusing back on the screen.

‘Let’s run that through the system, see if we can get an ID.’ Garcia’s hand left the keyboard to clutch Emily’s, and she squeezed tight in response until there was a name on the screen. Just one normal, everyday name for a man who possibly tore lives apart.

For a moment they both sat there, absorbing the shock.

Suddenly Garcia let go of her hand, moving forward and commandeering the computer again, Emily kept running the name through her head trying to pinpoint why it sounded familiar until a mans image popped up on the screen. It was a moderately handsome male, white with short, cropped hair and a sparse beard and a smile that looked arrogant. Emily felt it in her bones that this was the man, and then it hit her.

‘I know him, I’ve seen his name and his face.’ Leaning forward in her chair Emily stared into the dark blue eyes, searching them. ‘Search him, what his job is.’

Doing what she was told Garcia typed in the name to the search engine, and the screen filled with results. Reporter. The leading crime journalist for their area code, which is where she knew him. From reading the newspaper and watching the news at nighttime, his face had been there throughout the whole investigation.

‘Jason Marsh you son of a bitch.’ Emily muttered, looking up as Rossi caught her eye walking down the stairs towards them, coffee cup in hand.  

‘That face looks like you’ve finally got us a break in the case.’ Rossi exclaimed as he stopped at her desk, looking at what she and Garcia had been staring it. ‘Is that our guy?’ Emily just nodded as he moved around to get a better look at the man.

‘Don’t give me the credit, this is all Garcia.’ Emily pushed her chair back and got up, legs a little numb from how hard she had been pushing her feet in to the floor in anticipation. They needed to let Hotch now, immediately and set up a protection detail around the hospital, this was huge.

Emily thought back over the last few days, what had initially caught her attention was the list Garcia had compiled in the beginning with a list of the staff who had been in the building when the first letter had arrived at Spencer’s desk.

‘The letters, that’s how they were getting through!’ Emily turned wildly back to her small audience. ‘Jason Marsh has a press pass; all he has to do is flash his pass and say he is here for an article or a story and in he comes. We need to get the mail clerk up here immediately, if we can get a visual confirmation on top of Garcia’s research, we have culpability to get an arrest warrant.’ Rossi was nodding along with her.

‘I’ll let Hotch and JJ know what’s happening and get this fast tracked, I’ll see what I can do about organising another warrant for a DNA sample.’ Rossi pulled his phone out before putting his hand on Garcia’s shoulder. ‘Well done, Garcia, you did good.’ She beamed back at him for a moment before her face fell again.

‘Sorry sir, but I was wondering where Derek is?’ She looked nervous. ‘Normally he would be here working with us, and nobody will explain what’s happened at Spencer’s apartment and his role in that and I am both concerned and anxious.’ She batted her sad eyes at Rossi, making Emily smile. She wanted to know too.

Rossi only made the situation worse, averting his gaze and looking like he wanted to turn and walk away. He sighed, shoulders sagging. ‘Morgan abandoned his position; he allowed the suspect to lure him away from Spencer’s apartment with a sirens call. All this time Spencer has been watched, he set up the break in at Morgan’s and came back to watch when he left and struck while he was gone.’

The two women didn’t know what to say, Emily could feel her mouth opening and the hum in the back of her throat like she would say something but there was nothing. Garcia looked the same with the wetness around the corners of her eyelashes. None of this sounded like the Derek Morgan they knew; he would never leave his partner alone like that when they were in so much danger.

Eventually Garcia forced out a why? Before looking imploringly at the older man.

With a heavy sigh Rossi shook his head. ‘Derek didn’t want to wake Spencer up to attend his security alarm, didn’t think that it was more then a hoax or a misfire in the system.’ That made it worse, Emily scrunched her face up in his confusion.

How had this whole thing happened? How did she really know so little about her team members, they were all practically family members with each other. They kept distance but also a sense of closeness.

Everything was all just one big mess.

Gathering wetness in the corner of Garcia’s eyes grew as she chewed on her bottom lip, struggling to take in what Rossi just said about her best friend and the results of what he did leaving her other best friend fighting for his life. Emily didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, she herself was angry and confused and couldn’t put two and two together that Morgan would fall for something so basic and obvious.

After a moment Rossi just cleared his throat, holding up his phone again before taking leave. Right now, there was nothing else they could do, they needed to wait until they had Jason Marsh in their interrogation room to make him sweat.

When Garcia stood up and faced her like a lost puppy, she did the only thing she could, pulled her into a hug and told her Well done on cracking the case for them. Garcia sniffled and pulled away before giving her a sad smile. ‘Spencer broke the case; I just followed the trail.’

‘Reid will be there to say thank you when he can.’ She just nodded, taking the devices off Emily’s desk and headed back to her own office. There was still more work that needed to be done, they needed this guy’s whole life on paper to know where and when he has been somewhere so they can put him away for good.

Confused about Morgan and frustrated things have gone this way.

Chapter Text

‘Okay, let me know when you have him at the department or if you need me to come in.’ Hotch wanted to be there, he wanted to look this man, Jason Marsh; in the face and make him suffer through a long and cold interview. But this is where he needed to be right now, Spencer had made it through surgery and he and JJ had been sitting by his side in the ICU ever since. Rossi asked for an update on Reid. ‘Right now, he is stable, but the next forty-eight hours are going to be touch and go, there’s a high risk of infection and cardiac arrest but the doctors are hopeful.’

JJ looked up at him from her seat at Spencer’s side, no matter where either of them sat there was a machine or a pump keeping him alive that they had to move out of the way of when a nurse came to change infusion bags. ‘If anything happens, I will let you know, just keep me posted on things there.’

Hanging up the phone, Hotch moved to his own chair on the right of Reid however he couldn’t hold a hand like JJ could. The hand that was on his side of bed was wrapped in a cast, metal pins sticking out of two fingers and holding them together. In the fight, Spencer had lost a finger and severed two more. Despite surgery and the pins there was still a chance that he could lose them both, infection a high risk. His left hand was less damaged but there had been a severed tendon in his wrist and palm.

Both Hotch and JJ together had been trying to forget the catalogue of injuries that covered their friend. Spencer had put up a hell of a fight but because of that had suffered immensely, going by the outlook of the doctors the injuries were ones that wouldn’t heal in a few months if he made it to that point. The one that concerned Hotch the most was the injury to his chest, or injuries. There were two penetrating wounds to the chest, one which damaged one of the chambers of the heart and another that almost transected his right lung.

As a result, Spencer had needed open heart surgery to repair the lacerations which included removing sixty percent of the left lung. The doctors had told him it had been heavily scarred and he’d needed to explain the whole Anthrax story, leaving him and JJ chuckling over the terrified look the surgeon had given them.

‘Did they find the guy who did this?’ JJ asked, looking hopeful but anxious.

Nodding, Hotch settled for resting his hand atop the plaster on Spencer’s forearm. ‘Garcia found a dating app on Spencer’s phone, one of them men in his inbox had been insistent on arranging a date despite Reid’s repeated cancelling.’ JJ’s eyes widened a little. ‘They were able to track his location from there which led her to a man named Jason Marsh, a local journalist that has a press pass for the FBI office.’

‘He was that close this whole time?’ JJ asked, looking stunned.

There was a tingle of recognition that came with the name when David had told him, he wasn’t able to put the name to a face, but he thought maybe he had seen it under articles in the local newspaper that he had delivered daily.

Aron felt like he should be shocked that Spencer was dating men, but he wasn’t. There had been small conversations in shared hotel rooms, diners over coffee and their seats on the jet about their personal lives. Given JJ’s lack of reaction she too knew, Spencer had never outwardly stated it, but he talked about men and women he had met over his own time and the stories that they shared.

There was no reason for the whole team to know, or for the conversations to happen in a public setting with the rest of the team surrounding them. Spencer complained incessantly about Prentiss and Garcia trying to organise blind dates for him, something Aron secretly enjoyed listening to as it made Spencer animated and appear even younger.

‘I bet everyone is picking at their brains wondering how they missed that,’ JJ said, bemused ‘Emily had a running bet that Spence had never been on a date in his life and that’s why he kept refusing their attempts to set him up.’ Hotch laughed, of course she did. ‘Garcia insisted it was because he couldn’t find someone on his level, David probably had the closest guess that maybe Spence wasn’t ready for something serious and just wanted to have fun while he was still young.’

Shaking his head, Hotch responded. ‘Spencer has grown since he joined the team, but I think everyone does forget how young he is under the brains and the cardigans. They just see someone whose brain moves faster then theirs and assume he is incapable of living an adult life.’ JJ hummed in agreement. ‘Reid cared for his mother until he was ready to move on in his career, that’s not the behaviour of someone who doesn’t have an adult brain.’

‘Tobias and what came after changed Spence.’ JJ said. ‘He realised his existence was limited and inexperienced, so he made the effort to live more, at least live more then just inside the office and the team.’ She sighed heavily, eyes resting on Spencer’s still face beneath the bruising and the swelling. ‘He has friends now, people he cares about that just isn’t us and nobody else has ever cared enough to look below the surface of the persona Spencer wears inside the office and in the field.’

‘I don’t think anyone realises how funny he actually is.’ Hotch smiled around the words. That was a part of Spencer he enjoyed the most, the witty come backs and the comedic value that follow some of his statistics. ‘It was in the bathroom, of all places, that he cracked his first joke with me, and I was so caught off guard I didn’t remember to laugh, and he went red which finally reminded me to laugh and he just blushed harder.’ He chuckled.

JJ laughed with him, before a hand came up over her mouth and the dam broke as laughter became a heart wrenching sob. Aron moved quickly, he stood around the bed and pulled her up from her seat into his arms. JJ sobbed with gasping cries, the sound almost animalistic as her fingers wound into the soft fabric of his jumper and clung to him until her knees collapsed and they both ended up on the ground.

Desperately, Aron wished he could let go as well. Sob the way his friend was, for the possibility they might lose him. But JJ needed him right now, and he was scared that if he let it out now, he wouldn’t stop, and he would be too much of a mess to think straight if one of those alarms rang and he needed to make decisions. So, Aron held JJ until her tears ran dry and the cries were softer and hoarse until they petered out, he didn’t know when he started rocking them the way he did with Jack until the hands gripping his jumper loosened.

‘He can’t die, I couldn’t ever let go of him.’ JJ whispered.

‘Spencer survived Tobias, addiction and Anthrax.’ Aron whispered against the blonde hair under his nose. ‘There’s no way he’d let a man like Jason Marsh take him down.’

Aron’s phone trilled signalling them both to disengage, JJ went for the box of tissues as Hotch moved towards a quieter area of the open space with less equipment beeping and whirring. Staring down at the phone, he almost didn’t want to answer but it could be related to the case, so he hit accept. ‘Hotch.’

‘We’ve gotten everything we can out of the apartment, officers had been doing door to door inquiries but so far nobody is admitting to who let the man in the building. Detective Moss is having people go back with the photo Garcia supplied.’ There was no emotion in Morgan’s voice and at first Aron thought it was to avoid setting him off again, but it was apparent as he kept talking that Derek had detached himself from the situation and his failure.

‘Go back to the office and help out there, Prentiss and Rossi might need help with the interview.’ Aron paused for confirmation before continuing. ‘I want you to write up a full case report, starting the night you moved in with Reid leading up to this morning. I want every detail, reason and excuse you had for leaving and what led up to that decision.’

‘Are you kidding?’ Morgan snapped at him.

‘No, I want to make sure there isn’t something else that you have missed along the way due to complacency.’ Aron didn’t want to ask for this, but there would be questions and investigations in to how this had been handled and ended. If Spencer didn’t make it through the whole team would be under investigation.

‘How is he?’ Morgan aimed for dispassionate but came across tight.

Looking back at the bed he had moved away; Hotch didn’t know how to answer. In one vain he didn’t want to update Derek when he was partially to blame but also because the doctors and nurses were giving him nothing more than a simple, he’s holding his own right now. ‘Not out of the woods.’ He settled on before ending the call.

The tissue in JJ’s hand were damp, but her eyes were red and dry from wiping them. Settling back into his chair to watch over his friend. They stayed quiet, the hush of the ventilator and the steady rhythm of the monitor against the infusion pumps lulling them into a false sense of security.

There had been so much throughout this case that had brought Spencer and himself closer together, the men had shared that solid bond since Gideon had left and the younger man needed someone older and stable to lean against. Neither one of them had ever acknowledged what they had between themselves, the soft leanings of shoulders and touching knees. Smiles and jokes, crossword puzzles that Aron could never hope to complete on his own, even though Spencer never outwardly answered the questions, just giving him soft hints as they ate at a diner or shared a table on the plane.

Then there were the times with JJ and Will, the four adults and their two young sons as Aron started bringing Jack to play dates and catch ups. Without Hailey in his life Spencer was a solid figure against the raging winds of mourning and grief. The two men both knew grief and loss and they had shared in it. Spencer was the one to start inviting him to JJ’s, to the park and to the cinemas when the children were involved.

When the children weren’t involved Spencer still took the time to break him out of his shell, the dim apartment Aron tried hard to make a home for Jack but never seemed to contain the same warmth and colour of sunshine that Hailey seemed to bring in their lives while they were together.

Aron had David when he came to the bureau, pulling him to bars and pushing women his way but that wasn’t what Aron had needed. And it wasn’t until now, thinking of the last few days where he and Spencer had spent so much time together in his office, how easy it was to work with that long, lithe body asleep on his couch or when they had shared that coffee beneath the storm.

Guilt was eating him alive for not prioritising Spencer’s safety more, for not returning the effort and the comfort that he brough into Aron’s life. Even if he had been able to convince Spencer that he would stay with him, he would never have accepted it. Not after Hailey, not with the risk that Jack would lose both parents.

Neither one of them had been ready in those earlier months, but it had been obvious throughout this case that the men were drawn to each other and Aron hadn’t acted on it. Too scared to ruin what they had, afraid that he had read the messages wrong. The touches, the looks- how they gravitated towards one another.

Now Spencer was in an induced coma, his throat almost slit to the jugular and his chest wired together. Fractures in his hip and thigh, defence injuries littering his arms and hands.

Aron hadn’t been there to protect him. He had trusted Morgan’s dogged protection of Spencer to keep him safe, not expecting someone who always had his back in a gun fight, to go and leave the genius on his own for a false honey pot.

A nurse broke him out of his thoughts, a jarring return to the reality in front of him as she leant over him to check one of the many tubes coming from Spencer’s chest. Aron watched as she moved around JJ and himself, looking at all the different bits and pieces surrounding their friend.

‘How is he doing?’ JJ looked up at the nurse with desperation.

‘There’s a little bit more blood in the drains then we would like, but everything else is showing good progress.’ She hit the button for a fresh blood pressure, Aron noted Spencer’s heart rate was yet to drop below 120. ‘Blood pressure is still low, but until the blood loss and fluid balance out it should improve, a cardiologist will be by later this afternoon to assess the situation.’ She wrote a few things down on the chart at the end of the bed. ‘He’s holding his own, which is all we can ask for at this point.’ She gave them both a smile before heading for the central nurses’ station in the middle of the large expansive space.

JJ slumped back in her chair; arm outstretched to maintain her grip on Spencer. Hotch tried to relax himself back also, the muscles between neck and pelvis taut and buzzing from the strain of holing his core together. Hopping up he pulled the chair closer, took hold of Spencer’s upper arm and tried to relax back.

As soon as he got comfortable his phone buzzed inside his track pants, shoulders slumping he fished it out with one hand and looked down at the text message David had sent him. “Mail clerk did a visual confirmation on Marsh, neighbour on second floor of Spencer’s apartment complex did another ID and admitted he let the man in to the apartment under the guise he was a different tenant’s partner. Marsh has just walked in, will keep you posted.”

This was there smoking gun, for the first time in twenty-four hours Aron felt the first glimmer of hope.

Chapter Text

From his desk Derek watched as Rossi and Prentiss walked an older male towards the interview rooms, he had been filled in on Penelope’s discovery and had been told the name of the man who was likely responsible for the last few weeks, but nobody had showed him a picture and his stomach dropped.

This was the man who had been at Spencer’s apartment, knocking on his door the first night Morgan had temporarily moved in. It was the second blow to how poorly he had dealt with this case. He hadn’t told anyone about their late-night visitor and the story they had spun to hide their surprise when Morgan answered the door instead of Reid.

Knowing he was on precarious footing already; Derek didn’t want to include it in the ridiculous report Hotch was having him write up. It would bring up too many questions that he didn’t have answers for. While he could excuse the door knock for Spencer falling asleep and flooding the bathroom there was no real reason, he could give for why he left.

Spencer was barely sleeping overnight; Derek knew he tried to be quiet when he got up and moved around the apartment, but he was a light sleeper and on alert. The nightmares were the reason, and Morgan knew he was handling that situation poorly, so he tried not to make it all a big deal. So, when his phone had rung, he had been quick to answer, and quicker after hanging up to see where Spencer was. He had been relieved to see him sound asleep and had hesitated in the doorway.

Since installing the alarm system there had been several false alarms triggered by neighbours, his dog and power outages resetting the system. So far there hadn’t been a single actual break in, and he assumed this time around it was the same thing. He lived a twenty-minute drive from Spencer, it would take a few minutes to go and meet up with the security patrol and sort things out. Spencer hadn’t been sleeping and he didn’t want to drag him across town for nothing.

Plus, their man had been silent, no letters and no deaths in the last day, so he had just grabbed his keys and a jacket and gone off to deal with it on his own. Trusting that Spencer would stay safe and asleep and not the answer the door for anyone. Which, obviously, was a mistake that didn’t lay purely on him. Spencer should have noticed he wasn’t there and not answered the door.

Saying that to anyone else though wasn’t an option, he would have to own up to his own mistake and hope the penalty related to the crime and it wasn’t something significant. Leaving the first night’s incident out of his report was in his best interests.

Pushing his chair away from the half-finished report Morgan headed towards the stairs and jogged up them, swiping his ID he moved into the small outer room behind the reflective screen where Rossi and Prentiss were questioning Jason Marsh. Hitting a button on the wall he listened to the interview.

‘So, you acknowledge that unforgettable69 is your online dating profile?’ Emily asked, sliding a piece of paper in front of the man, who looked down at it and nodded looking confused. ‘So, these messages come from you?’ She slid more paper over; this time he picked them up and read them through.

‘Have you ever tried online dating agent? It isn’t as easy as the movies make it out to be, there’s a hell of a lot of people out there who start a conversation only to lose interest.’ Jason’s voice was deep, secure compared to the flustered man who had been at Reid’s door saying he had gone to the wrong place.

Rossi leaned in. ‘Is that what happened?’ Jason looked at him. ‘You didn’t like the fact that it seemed like things were going somewhere, only for things to slowly slip away and you felt slighted that the other man lost interest?’

Shaking his head, Jason answered. ‘No, we both tried numerous times to arrange for a meeting but either my work or his work got in the way.’ He explained. ‘But then when I was putting in the effort to keep it going, nothing came of it and the user eventually said no and sorry and that was it.’

This time it was Emily shaking her head, as she pulled out another file. ‘See this here,’ she pointed to a paragraph ‘looks an awful like an insult and admonishment for wasting your time, only for you to send another message later that day requesting another date.’ Jason’s eyes were slits. ‘However, the other user needed to bail for the last time, and I think you took that personally.’

Nobody inside the interview moved from their spots, Emily and Jason leaning over the paper while Rossi sat back and surveyed the situation and who would be the first one to break. Jason shrugged his shoulders, losing interest in the paper and sitting back in his chair with his arms crossed over his wide chest. Prentiss and Rossi sat back and waited for him to say something, experts at this point in interrogation and breaking someone down. They had done it all a million times over.

‘So, I got shut down from some guy I don’t even know,’ Jason said ‘what does that have to do with dragging me to the FBI? I don’t think dating apps are illegal and homosexuality is only a sin now.’ Morgan rolled his eyes. ‘Plus, these apps are anonymous until you share private information.’

Did Reid share his personal information online? Obviously, he uses these dating apps in his spare time, but Morgan knew the kid. He hated the idea of having an online presence and kept most of his contact through text or mail even though they had technology at their fingers. Reid was old school.

‘You arranged your first date, before cancelling at the last minute. But you also shared some personal attributes to help identify each other, all you had to do was show up and cancel before following him home.’ Rossi told him.

This seemed to throw Jason. ‘I got called in to report on an unfolding case happening in the city, that’s the only reason I had to cancel, and I didn’t even make it out of my car when I got the call.’

‘Do you have someone who can confirm that for us?’ Emily piped in, looking expectantly at Jason, he shook his head. ‘An article that you wrote?’ Again, a shake. ‘Nobody saw you there, it never made it to the news broadcast, and you didn’t write an email? See where we are going with this?’

Annoyed now, Jason slammed his hands down on the table and Morgan smirked. They were getting what they wanted. ‘It ended up being nothing but a prostitute who OD’d on a job and got dumped. Not exactly breaking news.’

‘Did you find that out before you got there?’ Jason grits his teeth and shook his head. ‘Okay did you interact with the crowd, any of the police officers or detectives on scene? Coroners or paramedics?’

‘This is ridiculous, I want to know why I’m here and if I need to get myself a lawyer. I’m not explaining anything else.’ Jason pulled his hands back to his chest and glared at his friends in front of him.

Asking why you’re there and whether you need a lawyer is an admission by the inch, knowing what you can and can’t say and if you can have your words used against you can go either way. Asking also implies you know already, and you need to know how much information you can safely admit.

‘I think you know why you’re here.’ Rossi said, opening his own yellow folder and removing newspaper cutouts before laying them out in order on the table in front of Jason. ‘You wrote all of these, you also participated in some live media coverage. You’ve been all over this case Jason, why do you think you might be here?’

‘You think I have something to do with this?’ Jason asked arrogantly. ‘I did my job and that makes me a suspect?’

‘We released your image to the local police department and they’re currently canvassing the areas the murders took place; some people have confirmed seeing you in the apartment complexes.’ Rossi explained. ‘Your friend in the mail room also told us you have been coming by daily with coffee for a chat.’ Jason was clenching his jaw now. ‘Conveniently around the same time letters began appearing in our office.’

Morgan was leaning against the windowsill now, waiting for Jason to slip up and make a mistake. But he doesn’t, the three adults behind the screen remain silent and staring each other down. About this time would be when they swapped positions, sending two fresh members in to continue at a different angle. Today however they didn’t have the option, Derek didn’t want to reveal himself due to his own minor involvement.

As a pair Prentiss and Rossi stood up, tucking their vacated chairs back under the table to knock against Jason’s long legs and taking their folders with them. Jason didn’t say anything until they were at the door, not even looking back at him or explaining what would happen now. ‘Am I allowed to leave?’

Rossi is the one who turns as Prentiss turns the doorknob. ‘No, we are going to need to gain fingerprints and DNA from you.’ They didn’t wait for him to reply, just walked out and surprised to see Morgan there watching. Exhaustion lined their faces, reminding him they had probably been up for close to twenty-four hours at this point and they hadn’t been able to stop.

‘Let the games begin.’ Rossi said as he pushed out of the small dimly lit room leaving Prentiss with him as they watched Marsh get up and pace around the room.

‘I’m requesting a long overdue holiday when this is over.’ Emily joked. But it was true, they were all going to need personal time after this. It’s never easy when it is one of their own, but it was easier when it was just emails and strangers. Once something personal happens or they lose one of their own it triggers off a reaction, making themselves work harder and longer to make sure it never happened again.  

Inside the larger room Jason was on his feet, pacing the length of the room and pressing against the single caged window. They would run this for an hour, maybe two in a chance to get more information. The isolation in a strange environment messes with your head, making you overthink and question your responses until you get confused.

 Just as they were about to turn away Jason approached the two-way mirror and knocked before pressing his face against it to try and see through. ‘I want a lawyer!’ He shouted through, not knowing the speaker was on.

‘The warrant for a DNA sample is on it’s way over now, lets get the guy a lawyer and see if we can get him talking.’ Emily sighed, before putting her game face back on and pushing in to the room. Jason moved away from her, keeping space between them. ‘Do you have a lawyer we can contact?’ She asked, staying near the door while Jason recited his lawyers name and contact details.

Walking back to the bullpen Derek noticed that Emily wanted to ask something, likely knowing what he was he put an arm out before they hit the open space. Staying hidden from sight Derek turned and faced his friend, who still looked unsure of what they were doing and what she wanted to say. ‘You can ask.’ Derek said directly, she looked guilty.

Facing away Emily pushed her hair back, a tell for her anxiety that Morgan figured she didn’t even know about. Emily was both open with the team and extremely wound tight so nobody could get through her barriers. Drinks never led to unwanted admissions, time away from the team was never disclosed or explained away. But a dinner with the team, coffee at a stale diner in a hick town or clubbing with the other women she was like an open book even though they all knew it was just something she put on for those around her.

‘Where were you?’ Emily kept her voice and her gaze neutral, allowing no emotion to slip past mask. ‘Hotch said you left, but I know you and that sounds like bullshit.’ There was some hardening to her words, and it just made Morgan feel worse for having to admit that was exactly how it was.

Crossing his arms over his chest Morgan turned his body away, wanting to soften the blow. Outside of Reid and Penelope, Emily was someone he respected and was more at ease with. They knew if the other needed it, they would be there for them in the moment. Morgan didn’t know if she would be here for him after he tells her. ‘Since I moved in Spencer had been having nightmares, so to avoid waking me up with them he was hardly sleeping.’ Emily nodded along; he had told her this before. ‘Since installing the new security system in my house, there’s been problems. It falsely goes off.’

Emily looked confused as he explained. ‘Last night the security company rang, it had been going off for five minutes where I normally would have been there to disable it sooner. They were sending a security officer out and needed me to attend.’ He took a deeper breath. ‘Reid was asleep, he didn’t’ wake up to my phone or opening his door and I was an idiot.’ His hands dropped back to his side. ‘I didn’t wake him up to go with me because I assumed it was another false alarm, I’d be there and back in half hour, and I trusted Spencer wouldn’t answer the door if someone knocked and I was there.’

Struggling to accept what Derek said, Emily’s forehead scrunched as she looked past him to the bullpen where people who weren’t involved in this were just going about their day. When she did speak, she sounded frustrated more then anything. ‘Spencer complained to me two days ago that he needed to let you in, because you left your keys in the apartment in the middle of the night when you grabbed something from your car.’

Derek had forgotten about that; Spencer had come to the door with a complaint about being asleep when he rang and not forgetting his keys next time before he had shuffled back to his own bedroom. Had Reid assumed it was him again, knocking because he left the key inside?

‘I can’t understand why you went alone.’ Emily admitted, frustrated. The look on her face was a mixture of confusion and pity. ‘How often in cases do we deal with the UNSUB drawing people away in order to access the victim?’ Morgan just shook his head; he didn’t have an excuse for his poor decision making.

Standing there, Emily looked like she wanted to say something more before changing her mind and looking down the hallway to the double grey doors at the end. ‘You’re going to have to have something better then that to say to Garcia, she doesn’t think you could do this.’ With that, Emily walked away and sat her desk with the piece of paper with Jason’s lawyers’ details on it and picked up her phone.

Morgan didn’t have the ability to face Penelope right now, though he knew he couldn’t avoid the situation all together. Providing he wasn’t stood down or transferred they still had to work together as a team. Breaking her heart when she had already been through so much was daunting. Until he owned up he was going to need to pick his own brain, work out why he made the choices that he did and still couldn’t admit to that late night visitor which could have ended this whole thing days ago.

Chapter Text

JJ was curled up in her visitors’ chair with a blanket when she heard Hotch’s phone tinkle with a text message. They were taking turns in trying to sleep or nap but neither of them was having any success, Hotch pulled his phone out and stared down at the screen. ‘They just took the DNA sample; Marsh has lawyered up and isn’t saying anything now.’ It wasn’t surprising he had done that, but JJ was relieved this could all be over by the next day thanks to Spencer biting him.

‘A lawyer can’t lie away DNA and fingerprints.’ JJ muttered; face pressed against a blanket she had folded into a hard pillow. Hotch leant back in his chair with a nod, blanket pooling in his lap.

Night had fallen, JJ had been home for an hour to eat dinner with Henry and Will before coming back in. Henry had asked about his uncle; JJ didn’t want to lie purely because Spencer was in such bad shape it wouldn’t be something he recovered quickly from. But admitting to her young son the truth about murder and assault was too much. Instead, she had settled with a simple “he is very injured and unwell right now” and he had thankfully accepted that answer.

Hugging Will on her way out the door she hadn’t wanted to let go, needed to hold on and feel safe while she cried and mourned what their life had been and how it would be from now on. Shortly before leaving the hospital a team of doctors had come to review Spencer and his progress; Hotch and herself were able to ask questions.

Outside of the confirmation that Spencer was alive, and lucky to be that way, the outlook was grim. Further surgeries would be required, Spence was going to need a metal rod inside of his fractured femur and screws and panels in his hip. A graft had been placed on his windpipe, but the wound couldn’t be closed at this point due to risk of infection. Lung capacity would need to be investigated if he made it through, as well as cardiac testing and follow up. There was concern he was still bleeding into his chest cavity which in turn was keeping his blood pressure low and heart rate high, so they were discussing medication options.

They both also learned that part of Spencer’s spleen and liver had been removed, which had been a shock as they hadn’t been informed of abdominal injuries. The next twenty-four hours were going to be the deciding value, if he made it through that without arrest or infection they would start arranging for further care, but right now he wasn’t strong enough to undergo another surgery.

Once they were gone JJ had wept against Spencer’s arm while Hotch rubbed her back with jerky movements and small intakes of breath that showed his own emotion.

‘I wanted to ask him.’ Hotch whispered the words; the lights dim and other patients sleeping. ‘Before all of this happened, I wanted to ask him to my house for dinner while Jack was away and ask him if he wanted me as much as I wanted him.’ JJ was shocked to hear her boss speak like this, he was usually so private and reserved. ‘There was no denying how close we had become, the moments we had been sharing, and I just wanted to bite the bullet and see where things could go.’ There was a small hitch in his voice.

‘All of this happened, as much I wanted him to stay with me, I knew he wouldn’t because of Jack and what we’ve already been through. I know Spencer wouldn’t bring that home to us, so when Morgan put his hand up, I let it go.’ JJ looked up at him owlishly. ‘We got closer in the office though, and I thought I would gather up the courage on one of the days I let Spencer sleep in my office, and I never could.’ Aron’s voice was thick now, the way it had been with Hailey. ‘I’m so scared I’ve lost my chance, and I’ve let myself down, it’s confusing too because this isn’t the person I am. I never allow emotions or reactions like this; everyone knows me for not being human and I don’t know who I am right now.’

Uncovering her mouth a little more JJ smiled over at Aron, his eyes glistening in the soft yellow light and the torment behind them. ‘He did.’ She simply stated. Hotch let the tears roll down his cheeks in silence as they both sat there, surrounding Spencer with their warmth. JJ felt a glimmer of hope and warmth for them, that after this over and Spencer gets better that he will have all the love that could be afforded to him.

~

Dragging herself out of bed that morning had been hard, but Rossi had come in with coffee and breakfast and the two of them were in his office now, eating and talking about the case. Despite knowing they likely had their guy, Emily still had so many questions, and they didn’t know if they would ever get them.

‘None of us thought that Spencer was the end game, not the way it happened.’ Emily said around a mouthful of breakfast sandwich. ‘The outlook was that the UNSUB wanted Reid to chase him, go and find him so they could play along in a game of cat and mouse.’ She swallowed hot coffee. ‘There was no indication of an emotional or aggressive connection, what was so special about Reid that Marsh was willing to start killing other men to get under his skin?’

Rossi shrugged behind his desk, using better manners then Emily by not responding with a mouthful of food. ‘Maybe this isn’t his first time, we know he set up a false meeting to lay eyes on Reid and to follow him home and likely even to work. There could be other men out there who have been through the same thing, but they’ve surrendered to the stalking behaviour before threat of death became something.’

Nodding along Emily wiped her mouth, scrunching up her empty wrapper. ‘Could Spencer’s job have ignited the situation? Maybe Marsh saw him as a challenge and escalated his approach when he got nowhere in the dating app.’

‘Reid doesn’t share information about himself anywhere, he would have had to work hard to catch his attention.’ Rossi agreed. ‘Marsh may have underestimated Reid’s experience in the field and his history growing up. He doesn’t have a social media appearance to follow, he doesn’t have a solid routine, and he works with criminals every day.’

‘What’s to say Marsh wasn’t intending on killing Reid until it became obvious that no matter how many bodies he laid at his feet, Reid wasn’t going to commit or engage with him any further?’ Emily was trying to make sense of what was running through her brain at high speed. ‘Reid is an all-around nice guy; he cares and he’s compassionate but in the same breath he won’t entertain stupidity or aggression towards himself or someone else. Killing other men to get his attention was never going to work, he eventually surrendered letters and emails to us instead of reading them himself. Marsh wasn’t getting the response that he wanted or thought that he deserved.’

‘I think we need to have Garcia run his DNA and fingerprints through the system to look for any past connections to cold cases or unsolved murders or stalking cases. This isn’t the behaviour of a man who is just starting out, this is escalation in a big way.’ Grabbing the empty wrappers between them he chucked them in his bin, groaning as he sat back down.

They shared a moment of silence as they drank the last of their coffee, before Rossi hummed and broke the silence. ‘Have you spoken with Morgan?’ He was the missing character in their conversation, he hadn’t come into the office yet, so Rossi had just left the breakfast items on his desk for when he did.

Sighing, Emily nodded her head. ‘I honestly don’t know how to accept what he told me; I get that we are only human, and none of us are infallible but I can’t get my mouth around it. Derek isn’t that guy, I think there’s more that he isn’t telling us, but I don’t want to be the bad guy and force it out of him. I think I’m more worried about Garcia at this point, her two favourite people are in two bad situations because of the other one and she isn’t great at dealing with these sorts of things.’

‘I invited her to breakfast, but she said she had work to do. Was surprised to find her in the office this early in the first place.’ Emily hadn’t thought of poking her head into Garcia’s den when she had come in this morning.

Struggling to work things out, she had seen Rossi come in and wave her towards his office that she had just followed blankly behind him. With Reid down the whole office was in disarray, JJ and Hotch were still at the hospital waiting out the doctors’ predictions and Morgan was making himself scarce when it involved more then one person. Right now, David and herself were the only ones talking it out, Garcia locked away in her office.

Moving to push herself up to go and look for her delicate minded friend, Emily was saved the effort when she rushed through David’s closed door without a knock holding up two pieces of paper. ‘They match!’ She squealed, handing them off to her.

Looking down at the printout Emily didn’t realise what she was looking at, at first, but then it became obvious. The DNA samples were overlayed matching the peaks and dips, the other page showed the same with mirrored fingerprints. Jason Marsh’s blood and fingerprints were left behind in Spencer’s sink, they had enough culpable evidence now that they could arrest him and bring him in.

Smiling at her friend Emily handed the papers to Rossi, getting up to wrap her arms around her friend tightly. Still dressed down and minus the makeup you could tell Garcia was tired and upset under her smile, but there was nothing any of them could do right now to fix that for any of them.

The likelihood that the team would be the same after this was near minimal, they were all going to have to learn how to trust each other again. It was going to be a hard learnt lesson, whether they wanted to learn it or not.

‘I’ll get in touch with Aron, then we can head out on the arrest Emily.’ Rossi folders the papers in half and came around his desk to grip Garcia’s shoulder. ‘You did good, now I need you to do something else for me.’ Garcia nodded eagerly. ‘We think there are other men who have fallen prey to Marsh, there are signs indicating this isn’t the first time he has done this.’

‘You want me to run his fingerprints through the database?’ Rossi nodded. ‘I can do that! I will go and do that right now!’ She tottered off quickly, amazing Emily always how effortlessly she moved in high heels.

Moving to her desk Emily grabbed her bag and any other papers she might need for the arrest, casting her gaze over the empty desks and how cold the space felt now. Despite the building rapidly filling as everyone came in and out, the hum of distant conversations and computers wasn’t enough to fill the small space they all shared with each other. There was a half-finished chess game and a Dr Who figurine of David Tenant next to a half empty mug of coffee on Spencer’s desk. Mail had built up on Morgan’s with a photo of the team in a frame. Her eyes drifted back to Reid’s desk, the mug that smiled at her through a large, printed emoji. The coffee would be rancid, but she couldn’t bring herself to touch it and take it to the kitchenette, purely because it could be one of the last pieces of Spencer in the office.

‘You ready?’ Emily jumped when Rossi moved up behind her, following her eye line. ‘Hotch said he’s putting up a hell of a fight, no more bleeding and his numbers are looking up.’ Too numb to look away Emily just hummed, fingers reaching out to brush against the figurine. ‘Let’s go and arrest the asshole who did this.’

Conversation was low on the car ride; it took them forty minutes through peak hour traffic to pull up out the front of a non-descript building with a neat green lawn and a well-maintained house. Nobody would have ever looked at it and known that a serial killer lived inside, a man who was cruel and murderous.

Heading for the unmarked car across the road from Marsh’s house they knocked on the window, getting the officers attention. ‘Anything interesting overnight?’ Rossi asked when the window came down.

‘No movement came home last night and apart from some lights going on and off he hasn’t made a peep. We got nervous and had more units covering streets he could access through backyards, but nothing came up.’ The officer yawned, looking eager to be relieved of duty.

‘Move out after we have made the arrest, follow along behind until we get to the city.’ With a nod the officer half closed his window and watched them walk up to the front door.

Knocking harshly Rossi put his hands in his pockets and maintained a relaxed posture, Emily struggling to do the same herself. She was off this morning, and she was struggling to hold on to her patented cold face. They didn’t have to wait in the cold wrong when a dressed and groomed Marsh answered the door.

‘Did you forget I said that I have nothing to say to you?’ Jason snapped, going to close the door again before David put his foot in the way to block it. ‘You don’t have the right to enter my property.’ He tried to kick David’s authentic Italian leather boot from his doorway with no luck. Emily added her own hand for good measure.

‘We have maintained enough evidence to warrant an arrest, now, we can do this right here and I will put you in handcuffs in front of all your peeping neighbours or you can come with us quietly and avoid the embarrassment.’ Emily offers Marsh, smiling at him as she lifted the front of her top to reveal the cuffs in her pocket.

‘You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re wasting your and my own time with this useless bullshit.’ Jason snapped, letting go of his front door to go back inside to retrieve his wallet. When he reached for them, Emily pointed for Rossi to see, the dressing revealed on his forearm.

Sharing a look, they led Marsh to the car, locking him in the backdoor on his own as they took the front. Emily and David maintained menial small talk, the radio playing brassy music through the static. A few of the many tactics that can be used to put someone on the wrong foot and to make them annoyed enough they say things they shouldn’t.

Coming out of the lifts Emily noticed that Morgan had come in, he looked over at them as they walked Marsh back to the same interview room he had been in yesterday. Once they were inside Jason requested his lawyer immediately and let them know he wouldn’t say a thing until he arrived. With a nod of compliance, they left him in the room and walked out. They would call his lawyer later, right now they would let him sit a little while longer and consider his options.

Chapter Text

Hotch had sent her in to the office. JJ had gone home first, had a shower and shared breakfast with her little family before choosing an outfit. When she arrived everyone had embraced her, asked after Spence and filled her in where Aron hadn’t. Rossi and Hotch wanted Emily and herself to conduct the interview, they thought if two women went in, it would throw Jason Marsh off and give him a false sense of control and security.

All she had seen of Marsh was the photo that had been forwarded to Hotch, she didn’t know how he moved, talked or held himself so she was going in blind with nothing, but the information Garcia had supplied them with.

Reading how far back Marsh’s history went was surprising. What had shocked her was the fact that he had gotten away with it for so long, despite how progressive America had become it wasn’t far enough to cover the reach of gay men and domestic abuse situations. An officer was less likely to push for the partner to file a report against the abuser, or to access domestic abuse help centres.

Men will be men.

It had nearly gotten her best friend killed. If Marsh had been caught out ten years earlier, they wouldn’t be here, the other victims wouldn’t be paying the ultimate price and Spencer would be here at the office with her right now. Something needed to change inside law enforcement.

‘You ready?’ JJ nodded at Emily; glad she was the one going in with her. Emily was a woman of her own kind, ferocious and progressive and willing to stand up for most people against anything and everything.

The two of them could play ploy and timid, submissive and air headed until the cows came home while bouncing off each other. But they also knew how to read each other, and they would know where to steer the conversation and when it was time to take things seriously. They doubted it would take too long to upset Marsh and get his temper flaring.

Leaving him alone in a room with nothing but a bottle of water, his lawyer and air conditioning was just the beginning.

Pulling out her phone JJ waited for Emily to push their way in, both looking down at the screen and pretending to talk about evidence they had. When they looked up and pulled their chairs out, Jackson stared them down. ‘I’ll have Garcia look deeper and see if there is anything else in the system that could help us out.’

‘If they like talking about themselves, there will be more where this came from.’ JJ locked her screen and pushed the phone in to her back pocket. As a team her and Emily looked back at Marsh for the first time, testing his patience.

‘Can we get on with this?’ His teeth were grit. The man sitting next to him was looking at them expectantly.

‘You are?’ JJ asked, ignoring Marsh completely.

‘Niles Hamish, I will be representing Mr Marsh throughout the interview.’ He looked like old money, well into his fifties and wearing an ill-fitted suit that looked designer. JJ wondered he didn’t spend the money to have it tailored. ‘I would appreciate some information for why you have dragged my client back in today, we made it very clear yesterday that we would not be partaking in any more interviews.’

Putting her arms on the table Emily smiled at the lawyer. ‘We have further reason to believe that your client is responsible for several murders that have been happening around Quantico, yesterday we brought him in as a way to obtain DNA and now those results have come back.’

‘Look I told you yesterday that I have nothing to do with this, unless being angry you were shut down over and over again online is illegal you don’t need me here.’ Jackson held up his hands in a show of confusion.

‘He doesn’t know.’ Emily said to JJ. She nodded and gave Jackson a sympathetic look.

‘This is ridiculous.’ Marsh pushed his chair back. ‘If you just intend on playing silly little games then I’m not saying.’ Niles stood with him, leather satchel in hand. ‘You don’t have anything connecting me to this case, otherwise you wouldn’t be fucking around.’

JJ shot up, putting herself close to Marsh and smiling through an apology. When he moved, she exaggerated a flinch, and it worked. Marsh smirked as he sauntered towards the door.

‘We invited you here on a basis of free will,’ Emily hadn’t moved from her seat as she addressed him ‘if you leave this room, it won’t matter how much money you’re throwing at a lawyer. We will have an arrest warrant by lunchtime, and you will not be allowed to leave at the end of the interview.’

Turning on them, Jackson crowded JJ against the single table and her chair. Not breaking character and pushing him away was hard, the friend in her wanted to deck Jackson for what he had done to Spencer. This time it was Emily who stood up, back straight and a hand against Marsh’s shoulder. ‘Move away.’ He snickered at her, almost matching her own height.

The moment was only broken when Niles intervened, using his hand to force Marsh away from them and back towards the chairs. JJ took this moment to hold a hand against her mouth, heaving a large sigh she tried to make it sound upset. Emily ushered her to the double mirror and leaned her head in close to whisper. ‘You holding up?’ JJ just nodded; they returned to their chairs.

‘Cut the games, you tell us why we are here, or we walk out.’ Nile’s didn’t sound convinced of his own conviction; obviously smarter than his client he was becoming more aware of the fact that they weren’t kidding about the warrant. ‘Now.’

Leaning back in her chair Emily shares a look with JJ, she gave her a micro nod. ‘We have your DNA at a crime scene, as well as your fingerprints.’ Jackson scoffed and shook his head. ‘You left behind your blood on the sink and prints on the tap.’

Nile’s wasn’t looking as cocky now, studying Emily for the tells of a lie. JJ knew he wouldn’t find one, even if they didn’t have the link, she wouldn’t betray the act.

‘Your little computer has to be wrong; I haven’t murdered anyone.’ Jackson smirked, mirroring Emily by leaning back in his chair. But Marsh had just signed his confession, they had never mentioned that he had murdered someone.

‘Did we say murder?’ Emily asked JJ. ‘I think we said crime scene.’

In less than a moment Marsh’s face became withdrawn, his back a rigid line of steel holding him up. ‘I want access to the samples, and time to run independent testing. I want to see more then 90% matching between the samples, and proof this couldn’t be a familial match.’

‘Of course, we will have our analyst touch base with you. In the meantime, Jackson will be held in custody and have access to a bond hearing. We will be requesting no bond, or at least a controlled release with heavy restrictions.’ JJ spoke to Niles, not wasting her time with Marsh who was staring her down to intimidate her. ‘Right now, we have some further questions.’

‘What?’ Marsh snapped, reminding her of an unruly child caught stealing.

‘When we ran your prints and DNA through our system it also automatically included cold cases or cases that haven’t been solved within a year or two.’ Jackon’s lips got thinner as his jae clenched down. ‘Looks like this wasn’t your first rodeo.’

The question hung in the air; Nile’s was fidgeting now while Jackson stared down Emily again.

‘What are we talking here?’ Voice betraying the bravado it looked like Nile’s was regretting taking on his client’s case. This wasn’t going to be the win that he was used to achieving. If there was hoped to get Jackson out of this, it would be the possibility of parole on his life sentence before he was in his eighties.

‘Five counts of stalking, three counts of stalking with the intent to harm, two sexual assaults involving penetration and two murders. Looks like Jackson here has been a busy man, and a damn good one too.’ Emily explained. ‘Despite leaving behind prints and DNA he evaded arrest; we went through the case files and while he was a suspect he managed to always be ruled out.’

Slamming his hands down on the table, hard; Jackson stood up to tower over them. ‘This is fucking bullshit; I don’t know what type of stunt you’re trying to pull here. This is harassment.’ He knocked his backwards and stalked towards the door. Before he had a chance to open it Derek stormed into the room, hand on his holster as he backed Marsh towards the table.

Jumping to his feet Nile’s moved between Morgan and Marsh before one of them threw a fist at the other one. ‘I want a word with my client, in private. I want those case files in here within the hour and I want the DNA and prints too.’ He ushered Marsh back to his seat and had them both sit down.

After Morgan had turned away, Jackson called out to him. ‘All muscle no brain, no wonder nothing happened after that night.’ Morgan stopped, shoulders a hard line before he moved through the door and taking off.

JJ looked at Emily in confusion, turning their eyes to the double paned window where Dave would be. They’d already missed so much in this case, so many mistakes and errors during the investigation. It felt wrong to question your friend and their alliance to the team, something they should have never wanted to do. But this past week has made JJ wonder about Derek and his position in this.

Chapter Text

Things over the last week had been emotionally taxing, Penelope turned off the last monitor and picked up her used mugs and bags and thankfully turned her back on her office. There hadn’t been a lot of solid work for her over the last few days, she had been busy with the facial recognition program, but it hadn’t earned them anything.

Being able to run the data on the samples that Spence was able to leave behind at the scene had made her feel better, she had been able to supply solid results there. Ones that mattered.

When she came back in the morning, she would dig deeper into Jackson Marsh’s history, see if she could dig anything else up from his past. Things they would be able to use in court to make sure he stayed away for a very long time.

Hotch and JJ had been sharing scant information on her boy genius, she had been tempted to hack the hospital to access his chart but that would be a betrayal of Spencer’s privacy, and he had already lost so much.

Part of her plan when she got home was to ask JJ for any scraps she could afford, and to maybe beg a little to come in and see Spence. Until she laid eyes on her friend, she couldn’t trust what she was being told. Even if JJ had been warning her it was bad, she had been in Lala land of denial that it wouldn’t be something he just brushed off.

Slowly making her way down the stairs with tired feet, she pondered whether she should start leaving slippers at work to make the trip home less painful. Placing her mugs on the communal sink she cast her eyes around, with the arrest there was nothing anyone could do more of tonight. Everyone was home, or meant to be in. The light to Derek’s office was still on, door cracked. She could pick up the faint tones of keyboards being tapped.

Surrendering to the cries of her feet she slipped off the heels and headed upstairs again in stockinged feet. Using the silent approach to her advantage she took a chance to take in her favourite person. There were stress lines on his forehead, scrunching the skin between his eyes. He was glaring at his computer screen and if she had to guess he was pounding the backspace button.

‘Hey you,’ she called out as she pushed the door to his office open all the way ‘what are you doing here so late?’ Walking behind him she caught a sight of what he was doing before minimising the screen.

‘Baby girl I could be asking you the same question.’ Derek grinned up at her, hands laced behind his head.

Smiling Penelope shook her head. ‘I wanted to make sure there were no loose ends before I went home, didn’t want to miss something that could be useful.’ She had been vigilant; they have had their guy in lock up, but she was determined to make sure he stayed there for a long time. ‘What were you working on?’ She went for light curiosity.

Derek’s face closed off, he shook his head and pulled his hands forward again to start shutting down his computer. There was something between them over the last two days, a subject they were dancing around. Penelope felt bad admitting to herself she had been avoiding him, but she had wanted to avoid this. Whatever this was.

Neither of them spoke as Penelope watched Derek put things away, stacking coffee cups and swiping stuff into the rubbish bin. It was killing her, the awkwardness surrounding them and the way it hung sticky in the air.

To her surprise it was Derek who spoke first, sighing heavily before perching on the edge of his desk with coffee cups hanging from his fingers. ‘Just ask Garcia.’ She gave him a sympathetic look and a smile.

‘I just don’t understand what happened, and I didn’t want to ask anyone else because I owe you more then gossip.’ Emily when she had asked, just shook her head and said she didn’t get it either and to talk to him. Maybe she would have more luck getting the right answer out of him.

‘Reid is a fully grown adult; damn the kid has a genius IQ, and he still couldn’t take care of himself. All those brains and he opened the door in the middle of the night when he has been the centre of an investigation.’ Penelope couldn’t believe the words coming out of her best friend’s mouth. ‘I can’t always carry him; he needs to take some responsibility for his own safety and role in the team.’

Before she could stop it, Garcia felt her hand came up.

Grabbing his cheek, Derek stared back at her in shock. She knew there was shock on her own face, matching the tingling in her palm and the red-hot heat. Penelope automatically went to apologise but stopped herself, what Derek had just said wasn’t for her to apologise over.

‘What the hell?’ He swore at her, moving from his perch on his desk a few feet out of range of her swing.

‘You have no right to make that declaration!’ She yelled at him. ‘I have brains to; you told me coffee shop guy was a mistake, and I still ended up seeing him and being shot. Hotch is head of the team and Foyet still got inside his apartment, and he noticed a moment too late. We all carry each other; we are a team and it’s what we do for family!’ Garcia hadn’t meant to raise her voice, but it had gone up in hitch as she got angrier.

Derek was standing there stunned, hand back at his side while she yelled at him. This wasn’t a reaction he had been expecting from her, had he wanted reassurance and agreement that Spencer needed to be more independent and aware of his own safety?

Penelope-.’ Derek tried but she caught him off with a hand in the air.

‘No, I’m going home, and I think you need to as well and have a good think about what you just said and the way you’re clearing yourself of all blame and putting it on the victim. Spencer could have died, still could die and you’re standing here trying to wipe your hands clean and look for sympathy that you’re paying the consequences of those actions.’ Garcia grabbed her shoes and her bag before Morgan could say anything else and stalked out of the room.

As her best friend, Penelope didn’t know how she was supposed to handle this. She didn’t want to destroy their friendship, but she had taken great offence to what he had said, and the way he had victim blamed.

The whole thing had her wondering what else Derek wasn’t saying and questioning how much of his personality was truly hidden around the team. Was he hiding his colours the whole time they had been working together? The natural rule of the office is that they weren’t allowed to profile each other, she wasn’t included in that rule, but she felt like she was a good judge of character.

Missing this hidden view of Morgan had shaken her, now it was late at night and cold, and she would be going home to an empty apartment. After locking herself inside her car, Garcia pulled out her phone and put feelers out in the group chat between herself, Emily and JJ asking if she could come see one of them or if they could come to her.

It felt selfish asking, they had all been working till the late hours this week, and she knew JJ was spending more time at the hospital then home, but she needed someone. Needed to broach the question and see if they felt the same or if she was overreacting, and the slap wasn’t indicated. Her phone beeped, once, twice and three times.

‘Solves the problem of drinking alone- Emily. Your place or Emily’s? Henry just went down; I need more then just wine and beer- JJ.’

Tapping out a quick text to say her house, she turned the car on and headed for the liquor store on her block, she felt the same way JJ did; they all needed a stiff strong drink after the last few days.

~

On the verge of opening a bottle of wine, Emily had been thankful to see the call out from Garcia. Drinking alone was never a good idea, especially not when her mind was rotating questions she couldn’t find the answer too.

The interviews with Jackson Marsh had just left so many open windows that couldn’t be closed, and then there was Derek and his responses to everything that has happened since the night of the attack. Emily wondered if that had something to do with Garcia looking for company and warm bodies to share a space with.

This afternoon Garcia had approached her and asked if she had spoken with Derek and she had said yes, and that she couldn’t make ends meet out of the answers to her questions. The case had followed a typical projection, despite the revolving door around Spencer and then had gone ass up on them in less then twelve hours.

Even with the evidence and the arrest there was so much left to iron out.

Opting to remain in track pants and a hoodie she shrugged on a coat and pushed her feet in to boots, putting a bottle of wine in her bag with some chocolate and chips so she felt like she was contributing. Grabbing her keys she headed out.

There was a small drizzle when she rushed to Garcia’s door, close behind her JJ was shielding her eyes from the damp. They’d both had the same idea to bring snacks, but they didn’t have to have worried when they got inside and found Garcia with pizza, vodka and a bottle of tequila surrounded by shot glasses. It looked like the night was going to be racier then either woman had expected it to be.

Hugging each other warmly after hanging up coats, Garcia stopped at the fridge to follow behind them with a soda mixer for the vodka and sliced limes for the tequila.

They started the night with light conversation over Emily’s wine and pizza, JJ filled them in on the latest update about Spencer and Henry. Emily joked about her plan to get drunk on her own while Garcia laughed, JJ joked that Will would never let her get drunk on her own if he was around to drink with her.

When the pizzas were finished and the wine had moved to vodka, they started to get looser with their topics. Garcia was the first one to bring up the case, and how it had been handled by Morgan. Emily felt like there was more she wanted to say but seemed hesitant too.

‘Hotch hasn’t really told me much about the night it happened,’ JJ told them ‘All I know is that Derek abandoned his position.’ JJ told them. ‘When he called me about Spence, it seemed automatic to think something had happened to Morgan as well, but he just told me hadn’t been there.’ She shook her head. ‘I haven’t been at the office long enough to get a chance to ask him what happened.’

Using this as her in Emily shared what she knew. ‘When I got a chance to talk to him and ask what happened, he said he’d been contacted by his security company to attend his property over an alarm being triggered.’ JJ’s eyebrows nearly climbed to her hairline. ‘Instead of waking Reid up he went out on his own, thinking Spencer would be fine.’

‘What?!’ JJ gasped, glass halfway to her mouth.

‘It gets worse.’ Emily told them. ‘Two nights ago, Reid had complained about how tired he was, Derek had gone to get something from his car and had left his keys inside Spencer’s apartment, so he’d had to call him and wake him up to get back inside.’

‘So, he wakes up to knocking, realises Derek isn’t there and opens the door thinking he has forgotten his keys again.’ JJ speculates on what happened that night, but Emily can’t help but agree as she nods her head before finishing off her third drink.

Garcia took the lapse in conversation as a leeway to pour out shots of Tequila, they clanked the little glasses together before downing the strong drink and sucking on their lime. Making faces they all reached for the mixed drink to wash down the flavour.

‘This is making me feel better because I thought maybe, just maybe I had overreacted a little when Derek gave me his version.’ She pinched her fingers together in the air, throwing back the last of her vodka lemon.

‘What happened?’ JJ asked, refilling her cup with a wobbly hand.

Head falling back, Garcia groaned before telling them what happened. Emily was stunned, both by the fact that Garcia had slapped Morgan, and the victim blame he had imparted on Spencer’s situation.

That’s when it hit her, hours ago earlier in the day when they had been interviewing Marsh. The offhand comment he had made when Derek had come into the room. She had just brushed it off at the time but what Penelope had just told them, made her think maybe that wasn’t the first time they had met.

Discombobulated Emily spat out ‘I think Marsh had been at Reid’s before when Morgan was staying with him.’ The two women looked at her in confusion, brows furrowed. ‘No wonder nothing happened after that night. What if that meant Morgan could have stopped him before it got to this point?’

Despite the drink, they all focused on this. JJ asked Garcia for a pen and paper and started jotting down what they had been talking about. The writing was illegible in some areas, but they could make do. ‘I saw Marsh at the press conference we held, he got close to Spence for more questions, but he was well outside our suspect pool, so he was moved on.’

‘Are we thinking Marsh has been to Spencer’s apartment before?’ Garcia asked, voice shaky as she clutched her glass with both hands as she looked between both women. Emily didn’t know if they were just wildly speculating because they were drunk or if they were making progress here.

‘Marsh had to be watching the building, he knew when Derek left to make his move.’ Emily said. ‘He likes to follow his victims, the first date he sets up is purely for that reason. Line them up and mess with them, see how far he can get with playing with them. We know he did that to Reid, what if he tested the waters by going to his door?’

‘But Morgan answered the door?’ JJ asked, pen poised over the paper and drink in the other hand.

None of them wanted to answer, they looked down at their drinks or their lap. Morgan was family, more then just a team member or colleague and it felt uneasy to be making these assumptions when he wasn’t there to defend himself. Emily had always respected Morgan, how proudly he held himself, but he was also like herself; hiding things beneath the surface they didn’t want to make privy to the others.

They all tried to be there for each other, and they didn’t gossip or speculate, and they weren’t allowed to profile each other. Which was hard when it came naturally. It was what they did for a living, and it came with a skill set that couldn’t be turned on or off.

‘We need to consider it a possibility, it isn’t our place to make that decision. Morgan needs to be allowed a chance to answer these questions himself.’ They nodded, the mood sombre now. Garcia poured out one last round of tequila.

‘I slapped him.’ Penelope gasped out, on the tail end of her tequila shot.

Emily and JJ looked at her with bright eyes, waiting for her to continue as they sucked on their lime.

‘He said those awful things and I slapped him, and I didn’t apologise and just left him there at the office on his own.’ Penelope’s face screamed guilt, until she brought her lime piece up and gave it a decent suck.

Unable to help herself and fuelled by the number of spirits in her system, Emily cracked out laughing which set off JJ. For a minute Garcia looked confused before being infected herself. They hadn’t been able to laugh for days, too stressed and worn out by the case and the following days post attack.

This was a better to end to the day then sitting at home drinking wine on her own, despite her own secrets she was content to be here surrounded by her friends and family. More than she had ever asked for in life.

Chapter Text

For the first night since Spencer had been attacked, Aron was able to be home with Jack. They had passed the forty-eight hours without incidence; Spencer’s drains had been better, and his numbers were stabilising. They were nowhere near taking him off life support, but Aron was able to go home without the imminent threat he would be called back. JJ had spoken with Diane, who had been on call for a trip down if things went south but for now, they were happy delaying.

While he didn’t do this too often, to make it less of a blow when he wasn’t around, Jack was in his bed with him. It was like sleeping with a vigorous heater who babbled on and off. He was getting too old to be doing this, but Aron didn’t want to think about when Jack was too old for him. For now, he was trying to make do with the wiggling and the chatter.

In the morning, he made pancakes, even letting Jack have some Nutella on there as a treat with some strawberries as an allowance for the Nutella. Rallying Jack to get ready for school was an old ache he missed, knowing how many times this had been done without him there.

As they got in the car, Aron couldn’t stop his thoughts and his ideas that were going through his head. Things that would be good for him and for Jack. Traffic was slow as they drove, Aron watched Jack reading a picture book.

In the carpool lane, Jack wriggled out of his seat and kissed on the cheek before grabbing his backpack and getting out. Aron drove away waving wildly to his son, a smile creasing his face. He didn’t do it enough lately, smile. There was hope for him in the future, to become someone lighter.

Finding parking at the hospital wasn’t as easy as the carpool lane at the primary school. The parking garage was already busy, early visitors and patients taking the closer parks. Eventually finding one, Aron moved towards the elevators.

It was a quick walk to the ICU and Spencer’s bed; he stopped by the central nurse’s station first. ‘Hi, I was looking for an update on Spencer Ried’s condition?’ The nurse smiled up at him and tapped out a few keys on the computer.

‘Looks like he did well overnight, heart rate has come down by ten and blood pressure is up five points. Drain output is minimal, swelling reduced and the graft looks like it’s taking on the neck and surgery is being looked at towards next week.’ She looked up at him with a bright smile. ‘Only concern looks to be a slight rise in atypical temperature readings, otherwise he’s doing really well!’

Unable to realise how desperately he needed to hear good news; Hotch thanked the nurse gratefully before stopping by Spencer’s bed. He was back in a suit today; he needed to make an appearance in the office and debrief with Dave about the interviews. He was even considering holding one himself, seeing if he could get anything further out of Marsh.

The nurse had been right, Spencer looked the best he had in the last two days. Most of the puffy swelling from the fluids was gone, his eye had reduced a little and there was more then a pale pallid tone to his skin. All things positive and hopeful.

There were no bags of blood hanging from the pole, just clear fluids and medications. The large and extensive scar that ran the length of his body wasn’t so rigid now and the jut of Spencer’s hips were more prominent again. He was going to need to be well fed when he came through this, he knew the team would be there to help him out.

Running a hand through knotty hair, he wondered what he could about getting it cleaned and brushed. Reid would hate to lose his locks. His whole body could probably use a clean, remove all the old blood dried in to pale skin. Aron wanted to cup his face, but between the intubation tube and swelling there was no way.

Instead, he settled with pushing hair back and kissing a blemish free area of his forehead, convincing himself it was a glitch when the heart monitor picked up for a moment. Aron couldn’t stay, so he pulled himself away before it came hard to leave and thanked the nurse again on his way out.

Thankful he didn’t need to prowl for parking at the office, Aron took a moment to just sit there and centre himself. It had only been two days outside of the office, but it had been wrought with stress and unmanaged expectations. Knowing that he was walking into a mess he didn’t know how to approach, he just sat there and did some mindful breathing until he felt like he was ready to face a long day.

Normally he was one of the first in the office, but he had chosen spending the morning with Jack and popping in on Spencer ahead of that, so lights were in on offices and desks were full. Emily was sitting at hers, looking down at paperwork before turning back to the computer, JJ’s office door was open, but he could hear her talking on the phone. Likely someone reaching out to be their next case.

Giving Emily a nod he headed for the stairs, passing Morgan’s closed door, Dave’s was only open an inch, but Aron could see him sitting introspectively, hand under his chin as he stared at his computer screen. He looked the way Aron felt, unsure how to approach the last week.

Introducing himself with a soft knock Aron pushed his way in, smiling at his friend who looked up at him in shock. ‘I didn’t know when we were expecting you back!’ He stood up and pulled Aron into a half hug before pulling out a chair. ‘How’s the kid doing?’

‘Seems to be out of danger at the moment, doctors are hopeful that he is going to pull through.’ Dave through his hands up in celebration. ‘Where are we on the case?’ He asked back.

Head back, Dave shook his head. ‘It’s a good thing you came in today, someone wants to talk and its not to me and you.’ Aron asked him who, confused. ‘Marsh wants to speak to Morgan, on his own. Some type of confessional release, he says. It’s time to come clean and to own up to his misgivings, and that it’s only given if he does it to one man who let everyone down.’

Crinkling his brow in confusion, Aron gave Dave a blank look. ‘Is Marsh basing this on Morgan leaving the apartment for the honey pot?’

‘No, I think there has been more going on in the back of the show then we know about.’ This just confused him even more. ‘Emily came to me this morning, with a hell of a hangover and told me there’s a chance Marsh had already been to Reid’s apartment before, and Morgan had seen him.’

How much more of this case was going to be convoluted?

‘Have you told Morgan about the request?’ Aron asked instead.

‘Not without putting it by you first.’ He nodded, leaning back in his chair with a sigh. ‘This just keeps getting bigger and bigger, it’s a huge hit for the team. Losing Reid like this and the distrust against Morgan, they’re shaken. Why else would Emily, JJ and Garcia get drunk on a Thursday work night?’

‘It may be worthwhile to bring another counsellor in, whether they use it is another issue, but I think it’s important to make it an option.’ Dave was nodding along with him. ‘As soon as the doctors clear Spencer for more visitors I think that will help as well, seeing his condition may make the transition easier.’

‘Transition?’ Dave sounded confused.

Looking down at his hands, Aron avoided the question for a minute. He had lost sleep last night over the answer and the declaration of Spencer’s doctors. ‘Reid won’t be returning to work, the injuries he sustained in the attack will leave him with permanent injury and he won’t be able to work in the field anymore. A desk job wouldn’t suit him, when the time comes, I will help him arrange his exit. For now, he is officially on long service leave and his insurance will cover his hospital bills.’

There was a look of shock on Dave’s face, like he hadn’t really appreciated the level of injury to Spencer. It was the gasp behind him, that made him turn around. JJ was standing in the doorway, hand over her mouth. Aron hadn’t had a chance to tell her what was said during rounds.

‘Didn’t they say he had a chance of full recovery?’ JJ asked, moving into the room and closing the door behind her to stop anyone overhearing like she had. Aron shook his head.

‘Full recovery doesn’t mean returning to peak health, that’s what one of the doctors said.’ There were two sets of wide eyes on him right now. ‘While Spencer will return to a baser recovery, it won’t be without side effects.’

‘Like what?’ Dave’s voice was rough around the question.

‘Decreased lung function, low cardiac output, a lowered immune system. In the future he will be looking at a hip replacement, the possibility of needing a heart transplant and the use of home oxygen and treatments.’ JJ’s mouth was slightly open, her fingers resting on her bottom lip as Dave just shook his head and turned his face away, cheek a little red. ‘This is all after he has to undergo rigorous rehabilitation, find a medication regime that works and build up strength again.’

JJ said something that threw Aron, only because he had forced it to bottommost area of his thoughts. ‘Did we make a mistake?’ Dave looked aghast at her, like how she could possibly be asking a question like that at a time like this. But Aron got it, he did.

Taking a deep breath, Aron leaned forward and took JJ’s hand. ‘We owe Spence more then that, until he wakes up and he can make his own decisions we can’t hold that over our heads. There’s no brain damage, he will be able to take on a new career.’ He went for humour. ‘Anyway, we all know running around shooting a gun isn’t Spencer’s favourite past time.’ JJ hiccupped on a laugh, a single tear sliding down her cheek slower than she could wipe it away.

‘Whatever Reid’s decide on, we will all be there for him.’ Dave promised, getting up to pull JJ into a tight hug. ‘When do we tell the others?’

Sagging, Hotch shook his head. ‘Not right now, give it a few days and clear more of the case load before we go there.’ They all nodded. ‘Organise the interview, I want it in a filmed room with audio. Marsh is to be restrained, though we probably must worry more about Morgan.’

‘Interview?’ JJ asked.

‘Marsh is ready to talk, but only to Morgan.’ JJ didn’t look as shocked as Hotch had felt, which meant there had been something he was missing. While he had wanted to be there for Spencer, he was also letting down his role as the team leader. The next few months were going to be an exercise in balance and patience.

‘Let’s get to it then, the sooner we put this son of a bitch down the better.’ They agreed with JJ, separating to their own offices.

Checking through his emails, Aron’s mobile phone rang in his carrier. Worried it was the hospital he scrambled to answer it, pressing it to his ear with a terse “Hotch”. ‘Hi is this, Aron Hotchner?’ He was ready to never get another call like this again. ‘Yes.’

‘Hi, my name is Mary, I’m calling back about your email of interest in a property?’ His shoulders dropped down from around his ears, his grip lighter on the phone. ‘Are you still interested?’ He must have been silent for too long.

‘Yes, sorry I am of course I am. I’m at work right now, wasn’t expecting a call back so soon.’ He hoped to ease the uncomfortable tone in the realtor’s voice.

‘Brilliant!’ She trilled. ‘As you know, it’s a four-bed single story house. The master has an ensuite, as well the second and third bedrooms and a toilet at the front of the house. It’s open plan, large, shared spaces between the two living areas and the kitchen and dining just waiting for the perfect family to come in and make themselves at home.’ She told him.

‘How big is the backyard?’ Aron asked, thinking of Jack.

‘Expansive, green and ready to play. There is a washing line, fenced pool with a spa and even a forte built down the back of the yard in the hardwood trees that has been left over from the previous tenant.’ Mary was really selling it.

A backyard was a must, he hated that Jack didn’t have one to play in or invite his friends over to. They had to go to a park if he wanted to practice his soccer skills. If they had a space to themselves, they could get a trampoline and a goal nets.

‘How long has the property been on the market for?’ Aron enquired.

‘Uh it looks like around six months,’ Mary answered ‘the owners haven’t been willing to work with anyone on a price negotiation. But if you would like to make an offer, I am happy to take it to them.’

‘Let’s start with taking ten percent off, see how that goes.’ Aron offered. ‘Right now, this property is the only one available that meets my requirements.’ There wasn’t a lot of options close to Jack’s school and the workplace that was single story with a backyard, without going deep into the suburbs and transferring schools for Jack which he didn’t want to do.

‘Would you like me to keep track of properties like this as they come available?’ Aron knew Mary was only looking at a client and making money off a sale, but he still appreciated it and thanked her. They ended the call when Dave knocked at his door.

‘You ready?’ Nodding, he slid his phone in to his pocket and followed behind Dave as they headed through to the interview room. Dave had been able to organise having the meeting here in the building, where they had high quality technology and the ability to move in quickly if something went wrong.

There were two prison officers stationed on either side of the interview room, several more police officers lingering in the general area as they surveyed the offices from the catwalk. When they stepped in to the room behind the two-way mirror, they saw Marsh sitting there, hands folded neatly on the table with a soft smile on his face.

This was probably nothing more then a game to him, but he likely didn’t realise what skillset he was working with here. They weren’t atypical people to play with the way he had played with others, they weren’t going to roll over and reveal their bellies.

They stood watching Jackson Marsh smile to himself until the door opened, Morgan stormed in and threw a pad of lined paper on the table and sat down hard in his seat. They didn’t talk, just facing each other off and deciding who would be the first one to bite.

It turned out to be Morgan.

‘You’ve got me here, what do you want?’ They watched Marsh scoff, lifting his cuffed hands off the table and leaning back.

‘Maybe that’s all I wanted, to see if I said jump and you’d do as your told.’ Marsh grinned, all teeth.

Morgan stood up, grabbed his notepad and headed for the door. ‘Enjoy your drive back to prison, I think it’s the only one you’re going to get for a while.’ When his hand hit the knob Marsh called him back.

‘Joking, joking.’ He laughed. ‘Come on, let’s have a talk. Man to man as they say.’ When Morgan was sitting down again Marsh put his hands back on the table. ‘Do you like to have fun? I bet you’re a man who never has to use dating websites right? Too dark, tall and handsome not to pick up a lady at the bar.’

‘What?’ Morgan asked. ‘You jealous you must use a website? I thought you were over there telling me, and you are alike, but from where I’m sitting, we are two completely different people.’

‘No, I don’t have to rely on websites, but it adds thrill to the chase. Taking someone, you don’t know home, you can’t follow them when they leave. Hell, half the time you don’t even get a real name let alone a mobile number.’ Shaking his head, Marsh grinned again. ‘Websites let you home in on what you really want, gives you a good chance to know the person well so when you set them up and follow them home it can become a game.’

‘What you did to my friend, all those other men, it’s just a game for you?’ Leaning back in his chair, Aron could see the calculation in Morgan’s eyes. How he was looking Marsh up and down and assessing what he was seeing for leverage.

‘Mm,’ Marsh hummed ‘Spencer Reid, what a delectable little treat I could have never counted on getting.’ Hotch went tense, moving a little closer to the window. ‘I knew of him, before all of this. Had attended several of his media releases, read some of his papers. You know, keeping my head in the game.’

‘I didn’t know we had matched; it wasn’t until I set up the false date that I realised what was in front of me. Hell, I didn’t even know the twink was gay, I nearly tripped over myself in excitement when I sent a message and watched him pull out his phone.’ This was what they needed; Hotch hoped Morgan would be able to keep him talking.

‘All those other men before him, they felt like practice leading up to the true prize!’ Marsh crowed. ‘I had managed to snag an elite behavioural science unit profiler, with a massive IQ and all the daddy issues.’ He laughed, Aron clenched his fists. ‘Man, looking back now I should have seen it for what it was and turned away and left him alone.’

Leaning forward in his seat, Morgan looked him in the eye. ‘Why didn’t you?’ The answer they all wanted and needed.

Oh, I wanted to, but I just couldn’t. There was no turning away from this, it was too good to be true.’ Marsh smiled at Morgan. ‘It was the ultimate game of cat and mouse, me or him. We kept organising dates, and at first, I really wanted to see him in person. There’s something special you get out of face to face, but he just kept cancelling and it made me mad.’

‘So, I killed the first man, and I sent the email.’ Marsh had gotten what he wanted, their full attention. ‘In the dawn of online delivery, they haven’t really found solod ground. It was a fun little discovery that I had hoped to use in the future, but here we are.’ He laughed. ‘All you need is an email and an ID number that could be anyone’s and off you go.’

‘The killing, the emails, they were further than I had gone before with other catches, but I had a real-life FBI agent to play with now. How could I keep it as simple as it was?’ They were all focused on Marsh’s words now, up close against the window. At some point JJ had slipped into the small room and was a warm figure against him.

‘I watched the way you all rallied around him, that night when I sent the letter with the fingers. It was glorious, the overwhelming bravado of macho masculinity crowding around him. But you,’ Marsh leaned forward in his seat ‘you were a little unexpected, because I saw something in you as things moved along and it got me thinking.’

Words hung in the air, Morgan was scrutinising Marsh now and Aron guessed he was trying to work out where this was going. There was an uneasiness in the room now, bleeding out into the viewing area. None of them seemed to know what Marsh was going to say.

21.

Morgan was almost unwilling to let Marsh open his mouth and say anything else, he didn’t like that he had nothing more than guesses on where this was going so, he couldn’t steer it somewhere he preferred. There were too many open avenues right now, there was going to be no way around some of the truth coming out and he had known that once he was told about the offer for the interview.

Despite knowing how important the interview was, Rossi had made it clear to him that he didn’t have to do it or follow through. If he felt uncomfortable at any point he was allowed to tap out, but he had come this far now, and they were getting the answers they needed to seal this case.

The silence was heavy, Marsh was just watching him with a smile on his face. Fingers weaved around each other on the table, thumbs twiddling like they had all the time in the world to be sitting here and doing this.

‘Get to the point.’ Morgan ground out, facing Marsh down with a ready face.

‘I tested the waters, did something that could have ruined my whole game, but I had to make sure whether or not you were really in the twinks house.’ The door knocks that first night. ‘I knew he was sick, but I had lost track of you in the traffic. Turns out you drive like you’re still an officer chasing down a speeding ticket.’

Marsh flexed his fingers. ‘I knocked on the door, phone out in case I needed an excuse to be there which is lucky because you answered the door and took my story at face value. Now I have two questions for you.’ He lifted his hands to put at him.

Questions Morgan knew he didn’t have to answer.

Spreading his legs out under the table, Jackson made himself comfortable. ‘I think it’s important that we ask this one first, just in case it helps you answer the second one.’ He smiled brightly. ‘Why didn’t you see me for who I was, when you opened that door, you seemed frazzled.’

Taking a moment to really think about the answer, Morgan groaned inwardly. He had questioned the man’s presence and even thought about getting a photo, but he didn’t give it much thought given the trajectory of the rest of the night. Gritting his teeth, he was off centred about his answer. ‘Reid had been in the shower for a long time, like you said- he was sick.’ Marsh was nodding along. ‘Turned out he had fallen asleep in the shower and flooded the bathroom.’

‘You got rid of me because of that?’ Marsh looked amused.

‘No, I noted you down in my head, but a lot happened in a small period of time, so you became just some asshole knocking on the wrong door and being rude.’ This time Marsh outright laughed.

‘You have to know the second question, so why don’t you ask it yourself?’ Morgan was done playing, but that was the whole idea of the interview. Play along and get the answers that they needed so they could all move on.

Gritting his teeth, Morgan turned his face away from Marsh to give the allusion of discomfort. ‘A lot happened that night, between Reid falling asleep in the shower and then having a nightmare that shouted down the whole apartment on top of a high fever I had forgotten about you by the next morning.’ Marsh was damn near gleeful.

‘I should have written it down, your features and description so I could share it with the team the next morning, but I didn’t. I pushed it to the back of my mind and told myself it was nothing.’ Derek knew the others would be in the viewing room behind the double plated window, that they would be listening and judging him on his poor decision-making skills and excuses.

If anyone else had been in the apartment that night he felt they would be treated differently, forgiven for their mistake but because Derek was himself and prided himself on his ability to protect other people he had to carry the blame. In their eyes he had let Spencer down.

Humming, Marsh gave him a toothy grin. ‘A man who can own up to his own mistakes, delicious.’ He licked his lips comically. ‘You would have made a good dessert to the twinks main course.’

Clenching his fists and digging his nails into the palms of his hands was the only thing stopping Morgan from decking Marsh at this point, he was taking it too far and he was sick of playing along with his games now. ‘Look, you wanted me here to chat, how about we speed up the play and get to the point.’

Making a tisk noise Jackson shook a finger him. ‘Are you really so eager to be crucified?’ He moved his head to gain eyesight with Derek. ‘This game doesn’t end well for anyone participating.’ He pointed at the reflective glass. ‘I know they must all be out there, listening to what I have to say and wondering what I meant when I said you and me were alike.’

‘Like I said- get to the point.’ Derek snapped, trying to relax his fingers.

‘Hmm, if we must.’ Smiling again Jackson got on with it. ‘I grew very bored towards the end, to the point I was killing the men quicker and playing less. All I really wanted was to get to the twink, but you were in the way.’ He sighed dramatically, Morgan rolled his eyes. ‘I was watching, often. I saw the way you looked at the twink and the man who wanted to be his daddy. The way they were spending so much time together outside of the office and inside the office.’

Tensing up, Morgan tried not to portray his shock. ‘That moment where they shared company over a coffee in the rain, shoulder to shoulder.’ He scrunched his shoulders up and made a face of enjoyment. ‘When you opened to the door and saw them, first it was anger and then it was irritation and a little bit of betrayal that soon turned into jealousy. It made your jaw clench so tight I could see it from across the street in my car.’

Denying it or showing any emotion would affect the response from the team and give Jackson the ammo he needed to take this further. There was an unsettling feeling in the bottom of his belly that this was going somewhere he didn’t want it to, reveal what he had been pushing down since he had heard the news about Reid, but he couldn’t stop it from happening.

The interview was becoming a car accident that you couldn’t look away from.

When the silence grew heavy Jackson was the first to break it, voice gleeful that he was getting somewhere now. His retelling a theatrical production that would go down in FBI history for interview tactics and what not to do.

‘I knew that was the night, I could strike while the going was hot. The hot being you and your hurt feelings, that the twink didn’t look at you the way he did the older man. All I did was pay a homeless man and his friends a decent amount of money to trash your house, I wouldn’t be able to make it the distance in time to know whether you had taken the bait or not.’ Marsh paused for dramatic effect.

‘Camped myself out in my car across the street and waited. I didn’t even have to wait long; you left within the hour. I’ve known men like you since I was child, insecure and frustrated over their own feelings and sexuality.’ Derek tensed. ‘All I had to do was press the right buttons and you would be on the offensive against the twink instead of me, that you would be angry enough to leave him on his own.’

Derek was ready to play the out card, tap out and let someone else come takeover but that would let Jackson win and he knew he couldn’t do that. Having his team listening was making it worse, he should have put more effort in to arrange for the interview to be done at the prison, but Hotch would have attended regardless.

Outside this room was a landmine that he had to step on and hope he could recover.

‘You aren’t really asking many questions so I guess I will ask you another one.’ Marsh chuckled. ‘What did you tell everyone?’ Derek shook his head; he could lie to Jackson and avoid admitting to the truth but now he felt open and exposed. ‘No lies, I can see you thinking it.’ He shook his finger at him again.

‘I told them the truth, that my security alarm had been triggered, I didn’t want to wake Reid, so I left alone. I made the assumption that Reid could care for himself for half an hour and would know better then to answer the door in the middle of the night.’ Jackson was nodding along, rolling his hand for him to keep going. ‘Reid’s not a kid, as much as we treat him like one, he is capable of taking care of himself but obviously I was wrong in that belief.’

‘What else did you tell them?’ Derek shook his head. ‘What? You didn’t tell them your feelings were hurt, that you left the twink on his own because he didn’t like you the way you liked him? That maybe you had hoped something bad would happen?’

Shaking his head, Derek worked not to look at the mirror window.

‘Hmm, I think you’re lying for the sake of the audience.’ Marsh mused.

‘We aren’t here to talk about me.’ Derek answered curtly.

‘We are here to talk about us, and the way me and you are the same.’ Marsh teased. ‘I was like you as a teenager and a little boy. I liked boys in my class, but they didn’t like me the way I liked them. They gave that attention to other girls in the class, if I tried it on, they would beat me up the way daddy beat me at home for being this way. So, I lusted from afar, until I found my first boyfriend, but he was deeper in the closet then I was.’ Derek couldn’t work out where they were going with this.

Folding his chained wrists behind his head, Marsh shrugged around his words. ‘Daddy had been trying to fuck the homo out of me, so when I tried to have sex for the first time, I couldn’t get it up. I was worried the beatings, and the acts had worked and now I couldn’t get aroused, but once I left for college it got better.’ He yawned. ‘I spent so long hiding it, it was exciting to be out and proud. But do you know what was more exciting?’ He asked.

‘Fucking with people, playing games and seeing how far I could take it. I wasn’t ashamed anymore and I outwardly played that role beside a lot of men who paid the price for my advances.’ Marsh yawned again, reminding Derek they had been in here for so long.

‘See that’s where I am confused,’ Derek interjected ‘I am not like you, at all. I’m not homosexual, I enjoy the company of women. My father didn’t do those things to me, I am comfortable in my sexuality and identity.’ Marsh rolled his eyes. ‘We need to wrap this up, get on with your point.’

Pouting Marsh looked away from him, smiling at the glass. ‘I know a closeted man when I see one.’ He reassured Morgan, who just shook his head again. ‘I wanted to do to Reid what I’ve done to some of the others and take what I wanted, but he fought back and by the end he was unresponsive, and all the game had gone out of him.’ He pouted again. ‘Are you sad without your secret lover here by your side?’

‘Reid isn’t my secret lover, but as soon as he gets out of the hospital, I am sure we can clear things up.’ Jackson’s face went drawn and pale, his eyes dilated in shock over Morgan’s eyes. They had fed the media information they wanted to control, there had been no mentions of a survivor from the latest victim. Marsh wouldn’t have known Reid was able to call for help.

Morgan let Marsh stew in his shock for a few minutes, drawing it out as he tapped a pen on his notepad, enjoying being able to stretch his fingers. It was nicer having control over the interview again, the ball in his court.

‘You thought he was dead.’ Marsh was openly upset now, refusing to make eye contact with him. ‘Kid pulled through by the skin of his teeth, we didn’t really need this interview given the evidence and a living witness, but we figured may as well. See what else we can get out of you.’ It was Morgan’s turn to laugh at Jackson.

When it was obvious they were getting nowhere now, Morgan tapped his pen on his notepad the call sign he had arranged beforehand. ‘You will be transferred to a max security prison and placed on suicide watch, if your lawyer can get you a deal, I recommend you take it. Enjoy life without the possibility of parole man.’ He pushed his chair back, smug and self-assured as he moved through the door.

The gust of cool air was well greeted, it had been stuffy and stale inside the interview with two body heats. Morgan knew he needed to front up to his team, face the accusations and his failings but he just kept walking until he was at the elevators. Pushing the front doors open he moved to the coffee van, paid and sunk down against a wall and just stared at traffic in a state of true numbness.

Things had gotten to close in there and he was confused and angry now and didn’t know how to cope with either of those reactions. All he wanted now was to go home and crawl into his own bed and stay there until he had to be back in the office by Monday.

Chapter Text

Hi guys, sorry this isn’t a chapter. A week before Christmas until now my physical health has been incredibly bad. The pain is wearing me down terribly, which in turn is affecting my mental health severely. I haven’t been able to focus on anything at all or sit down and do something I enjoy like writing or reading.

My aim here is to post more chapters in a week or two, but in the meantime I am so sorry to leave everyone hanging.

Chapter Text

My guys, I am so sorry. This is low key really embarrassing to admit. Not the menta health thing I’m about to talk about. But the result. Seriously. My brain is actually. Cooked.

Spent just over 1.5 months in the psych ward, I did 4 weeks of ECT to get out of the depressive episode. It worked. Which is great. Know what’s not great? Wait for it.

I can’t remember where my laptop charger is. I wish I was joking. I have this fic finished and ready to post but I can’t turn my dead battery laptop on. I have been looking everywhere.

If push comes to shove I rewrite my ending on my iPad. I’ll have to reread my fic but I will try my absolute best to get it out.

My chronic illness has consequences also, been in the medical ward as well. Just had the worst tonsillitis of my life. Iron so low standing up turns the check engine light on.

Basically my body is a dumpster fire wth the possum controlling my brain struggling to get out.

I am so, so sorry.

Chapter Text

Being that it was a Friday, Hotch had made the decision to let everyone leave early. There was no use keeping them in the office to write a report that wouldn’t be read and submitted until Monday.

There clear signs of fatigue, Morgan had come back in after the interview and grabbed his things before leaving again. JJ and Emily had spent the better part of an hour consoling Garcia who hadn’t taken the interview well. Dave was the only one who had kept his head, he held his emotions under the belt and was often the stable ground that Aron needed to rely on.

Either over the weekend or the start of the next week it was likely Marsh’s lawyer would reach out with the offer of a deal, Aron hoped he did at least. Putting Reid and the other victims through a court case was a harrowing thought he hoped they didn’t need to face. There was too much evidence for a jury to be hung or find him not guilty. Taking a plea would be better for everyone involved.

‘You going to be okay tonight?’ Dave asked from the doorway, suitcase in hand.

Nodding, Aron powered down his computer and grabbed his own suitcase. ‘I have something to look at this afternoon, then I’ll probably sit with Spencer for a little bit. Jack is looking forward to me making spaghetti that’s not out of a can.’ Dave chuckled.

‘Can I ask what you’re looking at?’ Unsure if he was willing to share yet, Aron thought about it. Maybe if he had someone else’s point of view on the situation he could decide if he was making a mistake or not.

‘This isn’t all about Reid, a lot of it has to do with Jack and not wanting to raise him in the confines of an apartment building.’ Aron clarified; his friend nodded as they stepped inside the elevator. ‘I know a rehab would smother Reid, and he can’t go back to the apartment.’

‘You want him to move in with you?’ Dave asked, a tone of surprise in his voice.

Maybe he had been wrong in making the decision before Spencer could say yes or no. ‘You think it’s a bad idea?’

Shaking his head they moved into the parking garage; Aron’s car was closest, and they stopped to finish the conversation. ‘I think it’s a good idea, but you need to consider Jack’s position in all of this. By the sound of what you said this morning, the kids unwell, do you want to expose Jack to that?’

That was a point Aron hadn’t considered, but he knew how much Jack had already seen and gone through and he had a secret enjoyment of Spencer when he was around with Henry and JJ. He would have the conversation, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

‘You know,’ Aron looked up at Dave when he spoke ‘me and Emily have had this running bet going on for a few months now and this means I win the pool.’ Hotch gave him a confused look, unable to work out what he is saying. ‘I had my money this week, Emily said two weeks.’ He looked smug.

‘Are you going to share what this bet was over?’ Aron had a feeling he already knew.

‘When you realised you were pining over Reid and finally did something about it.’ They both laughed, Aron shook his head as he pulled his keys out and opened the door.

‘Am I making a mistake, buying a house so my apparent lover can move in with me and my son?’ Chuckling, Dave shook his head.

‘Buy the house Aron, then let me throw a huge house warming party when you can bring the kid home.’ Dave clapped him on the back. ‘I think after this we all deserve a chance to let our hand down and celebrate.’

After agreeing with Dave they separated, Aron sat in his car for a moment as he did more mindful breathing. He wasn’t allowed to show emotion the way the others were, he needed to maintain solid and reassuring when things were tough. But standing behind that glass in a stuffy room as Marsh spoke about Reid and Morgan the way he did, he was on edge and jittery.

The way Marsh was talking about Spencer as a twink and trying his own hand at profiling Derek to try and get a rise out of him. When they had been called in on this case, they hadn’t expected the way it turned out. They had been naïve in assuming there was a run of the mill spree killer on their hands, and the case would be solved in days.

Turning the car on Aron turned the radio up to drown out his thoughts, leaving the bulk of the city to cruise through quaint green streets with neat yards and lush lawns. This was what he wanted for Jack, a sense of safety and commitment. There were basketball hoops and small bikes in driveways, Jack might even be able to make friends with the local kids in the area. Maybe some of his schoolmates even lived out this way, not cramped in a poorly lit apartment. Jack deserved to come home from school each day to a house and safety.

Pulling up behind another car Aron looked over the front of the property, it was large and picturesque with picture frame windows and a solid oak door. The lawn was well cared for, flowers a little wilted from the rain and season tendered to in the garden beds. A woman got out of the car in front of him and waved, he turned the car off and got out himself.

‘Aron? I’m so glad you were able to find your way here and had the time to view the property today!’ In person Mary looked as bubbly and keen as she had sounded over the phone. Aron moved over and shook her hand, following her inside the house. ‘One of the most inviting parts of this property is that the front entrance opens to the main living area, so when you come home you are greeted with warmth immediately.’

Mary wasn’t lying, the house had been staged and it looked cosy and welcoming with plush couches and colourful rugs. There was even a fireplace he hadn’t seen on the listing. ‘Once we go through the living space, we come out into the kitchen and dining, which again draws you in.’ there were stained wood benches, an island and a six-burner stove. Plenty of space to move between different areas. There was a farmhouse sink, deep and pristine white.

‘You have a second smaller living space, with floorboards throughout the whole property from front to back. The bedrooms are at the back of the house, a wide hallway where they branch off. The master and bedrooms two and three sport ensuites, the fourth bedroom is the smallest and has the potential to become a home office.’ The bedrooms were as impressive as Mary promised him, they had looked a little clinical on the listing, so he was thankful to be seeing them in person.

The backyard was the biggest selling point, Jack could run laps from the doors to the very back of the garden to tire himself out. There was plenty of room to spread out and play soccer and other sports. Fencing around the pool was high, no chance of little fingers reaching up to clasp at the lock mechanism. The pool and spa looked inviting even in the cold weather. Trees parted to reveal the forte that Mary had told him about, large trees lined the back fence line to give them privacy.

Moving back inside Mary smiled at him, waiting patiently for any questions.

‘Were the owners open to negotiant? Aron asked, inspecting the stained wood benchtop.

‘I had a conversation with them, let them know you were very interested and was willing to stay as low as ten percent. While they were a little hesitant, I urged them really consider it, other interest has started with a thirty plus markdown.’ Aron wasn’t surprised, the housing market had crashed recently, interest had gone up and it was harder to buy now. ‘But good news for you, they were happy to take the offer!’

It hit him like a sharp hit, he had been trying to keep his hopes low despite how badly he wanted it. Hell, he hadn’t even been able to talk to Jack and Spencer was still on life support. What if he went ahead and brought the house, and then something happened? Aron’s heart raced, he panicked over the idea that he hadn’t thought this out properly and now Mary was smiling at him expectantly.

‘I understand if you need a little more time.’ Marry offered, dimming her smile a little in his stunned silence.

‘I’m happy to sign.’ Words came easier than he thought they would, this was a big decision, but he was ready to move forward with his life and give the people he cared about and loved a better quality of life then what they had now.

‘Brilliant!’ Mary clapped her hands. ‘You sir are going to be a very happy homeowner!’

Having ended the workday early Aron had time to stop home, change and head towards the hospital again. There had been no calls or updates while he had been away, so Aron was hopeful that was a good thing. Being later in the day didn’t make it any easier to find a park, he drove each level of the parking garage until he got lucky. It had been a long and taxing day despite his jubilation over buying a house, he was drawn down once he stepped off the elevator and approached the locked doors of the ICU.

Tapping in the visitor’s code he had been given, Aron was a little surprised to see JJ leaning over Spencer, a thumb rubbing his collarbone as she whispered to him. Standing back to let his friend have a moment, he went to the nurse’s station. ‘Hi Aron, how are you doing?’ Cherie asked, one of the younger but maternal nurses smiled up at him.

‘Doing better, what about Spence?’ He looked for any hidden signs of reluctance or an unwariness to respond but there was nothing there.

‘Temperature came down, tomorrow the doctors are talking about removing the chest drains.’ So many little shocks coming today. ‘The graft is showing no signs of rejection so they think by Wednesday at the earliest, Friday at the latest they should be able to go in and clean up the area and close the wound. There is a chance they might have to heal it open with a wound vacuum device, but that’s a last-ditch decision.’

‘Spencer is going to be, okay?’ Voice shaking a little, Aron put a hand on the desk.

‘As soon as the graft and the wound close enough, the doctors will be able to look in to removing him from life support and letting him wake up.’ His knees went, one minute he’s talking the next he’s looking at the lino and struggling to pull in a breath.

This wasn’t him. This wasn’t Aron, who brought houses on a spur of the moment basis. Sat hours in an ICU chair, held hands or felt the shock of fear and relief over such good news. It was all real, the last week had actually happened, he had changed with those days gone by. Aron needed to remind himself that this was a good thing, control and management didn’t have to be his only personality traits. Strict, straight faced and closed off wasn’t needed here away from the workplace.

Aron was here. Spencer was here. The man responsible would be behind bars for life.

For a minute he didn’t know what was happening, he looked up and he was confused that JJ was there until he remembered where he was. She was telling him to breath, slow and steady to her counted numbers he tried to focus on. Suddenly his lungs expanded, and he was able to take in a good breath. Cherie was on the other side of him, stretching out cramped fingers and placing a pulse ox on one that made the little machine beep shrilly.

‘Hey, Aron come on look at me.’ JJ was telling him. ‘I want you to breathe in and hold it for five before exhaling on three, okay?’ He nodded. ‘There we go, nice and easy.’ The shrill beeping slowed down and became less chaotic. ‘Good, you’re okay.’ JJ pulled his head into her neck, rubbing his back.

Sitting like that for a few minutes Aron stayed until he was strong enough to pull away. JJ and Cherie were on either side of him, other visitors looking over in sympathy. The last few days were inevitable to catch up with him, he was more embarrassed it had happened somewhere so public but also thankful that JJ was there as a guiding voice of calm.

‘Sorry.’ He apologised shakily, letting JJ help him to his feet and guide him to the lounge beside Spencer’s bed. Sinking into the cushion he put his elbows on his knees and supported his head in his hands.

‘Don’t apologise, it’s not uncommon in situations like this.’ Cherie reassured him. ‘You spend days being told your loved one is going to die, so it’s normal to feel the shock when suddenly that isn’t going to happen.’

JJ bumped his arm with a paper cup of water, and he downed greedily. Things were clearing up in his head, and he was making more sense of what was happening around him. Cherie’s words made sense, though he knew he couldn’t just put it all down to that. There was more to it but right now he was glad to leave it there.

After Cherie had left them alone with Spencer, they both sat quietly. Hotch wanted to tell JJ about the house, but he couldn’t find the right words and was worried she would be offended that he had planned on taking the role of carer instead of her.

They shared small talk until Hotch glanced up at the digital clock over the nurse’s station and realised, he needed to pick Jack up. Heaving himself to standing, Aron looked down at Spencer. Gently laying a hand over the swelling on his cheek and eye, he caressed the soft skin for a moment. Spencer was going to be okay; Aron was going to take him in, and he was going to make sure the younger man knew how much he was loved and wanted.

Bending over he planted another kiss in the same place he had that morning, JJ stood with him and did the same. She smoothed back curly hair, rubbing an unbruised area of skin at his hairline.

Hearing that Marsh had planned on assaulting Spencer had made his blood boil, he had never been more thankful for something not happening in his life. There would be no recovery from that, Aron knew it the same way Marsh did.

Walking side by side JJ and Aron rode down in the elevator and hugged at the exit, promising each other to message when they returned home safely. They were both lucky in the sense they weren’t going home alone, they had people waiting for them. Emily would find someone to keep her bed warm tonight the same as Dave. Garcia would likely indulge in something while Derek either escalated or shut down.

For now, the case was over, Spencer was going to survive, and Marsh was going to prison for the rest of his life. Jack was waiting to be picked up, and to hear about moving houses so he had a backyard. There was a lot of healing that had to be done. But they wouldn’t be alone when they did it.